• RBG@discuss.tchncs.de
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    1 month ago

    Well what about the second peacekeeper? I think he doesn’t know about the second peacekeeper.

    • PugJesus@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 month ago

      What about Trident? Minuteman?? Little Boy!?

      [Aragorn-launched Davy Crockett hits Pippin in the face]

  • Zagorath@aussie.zone
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    1 month ago

    I like the idea that it’s the first thing that happens in chapter 1. Pippin uses the nuke before having been given any narrative reason to want to use it. Because he’s just that kind of chaotic energy.

  • Azzu@lemm.ee
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    1 month ago

    Chapter 2: Mordor launched automatic retaliatory nukes at the rest of middle earth, all life in middle earth goes extinct.

    Except dwarves, they have good bunkers.

    • niktemadur@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Yeah but what about the Balrog? They’d have that to contend with.
      And maybe… in fact I’d bet that creatures like Smaug could survive a nuclear blast even relatively nearby and probably even radioactive fallout, and just in case, they’d also know where every single cave in Middle Earth is, could quickly find cover before being exposed too much.

    • HeavyRaptor@lemmy.zip
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      1 month ago

      But somehow it turns out okay, like there was a huge invading army conquering it anyway and the elves have already evacuated.

  • Dagnet@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    If you played the two towers LOTR game you would know that Legolas’ bow is way better than any sniper rifle

      • Dagnet@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        The only reason we get 3 books out of LOTR is because Legolas (and Gandalf) will it so. They could end the story at any moment but choose not to so others can have some fun

    • PugJesus@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 month ago

      Excuse me, I played the Two Towers LOTR game and I learned that B+A+R was how Aragorn paused time whenever an orc attacked him to insta-kill it.

      • Dagnet@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        As someone who mained Aragorn because my brother was playing only legolas (poor gimli), while we were pressing 3 buttons to kill a single guy, legolas was pressing a single button to shoot 2 arrows that PIERCED EVEN SHIELDS, killing at the very least 2 orcs before we can even see them and sometimes even more cause they pierced through them. Im not bitter at all, its perfectly normal to remember this 20 years later.

      • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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        1 month ago

        Aragorn with Browning Automatic Rifle sounds about right. It was what Tolkien envisioned.

  • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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    1 month ago

    Pippen couldn’t even handle a dragon firework. If he had access to a nuke he’d have leveled the Shire immediately.

    • threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works
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      1 month ago

      He’s nuking Mordor though, not the Ring. Mordor wouldn’t survive, but Sauron probably would survive, since his fate is tied to the Ring, which hasn’t been destroyed. So Pippin didn’t really do anything other than kill some orcs and trolls.

      • nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca
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        1 month ago

        I know it isn’t like this in the books but if you killed every single orc and glassed Mordor, and Sauron doesn’t have a body and can’t retake one without the ring…what’s he going to do? Turn his shitty eye and shoot bad vibes at your forever? Just don’t live near him (you glassed it anyways ). Pretty funny to think of Sauron still alive but utterly impotent because all his servants are dead and he’s still disembodied.

      • Catsrules@lemmy.ml
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        1 month ago

        Yeah but I am talking about nuking the ring itself. Like you mentioned Sauron is tied to the ring, and destroying the ring will kill him. Would a nuke take out the ring?

        • threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works
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          1 month ago

          Oh, I was working from your premise that the Ring could survive a nuke. If it can’t, then Sauron is dies too.

          I guess it depends on how the Ring can be destroyed. Is it purely a matter of temperature, or does Mount Doom have some extra special magic?

          • Catsrules@lemmy.ml
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            1 month ago

            My guess is there is some magic involved, but that is pure speculation on my part. Could just be temperature.

    • frezik@midwest.social
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      1 month ago

      It was mentioned by Gandolf that there were no dragons left who had the fire to destroy the One Ring. Presumably, you just have to get it hot enough, and a nuclear bomb just might.

      • Catsrules@lemmy.ml
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        1 month ago

        Oh that is a very interesting. I would think 100 million degrees celsius would be hotter then your average dragon.

        • ccdfa@lemm.ee
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          1 month ago

          Unfortunately there are no dragons left who have the fire to test it :/

  • absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz
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    1 month ago

    Chapter One

    Pippin commits a preemptive strike against a low grade threat. Thus becoming war criminal; the international community turns against The Shire as the dangerous loose cannons they have shown themselves to be.

    The fact they are nuclear armed leads to years of protracted negotiations; extremely harsh sanctions and the economic ruin of The Shire.

    The remains of Mordor; rise up and become far more important on the international stage. As the injured party they telegraph this into a much louder voice than they should command. They oppose the Elves but have similar goals, the control and subjugation of the humans.

    • Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee
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      1 month ago

      Well they definitely don’t have universal healthcare then. Recovering from an orc battle must be egregiously expensive.

    • Dozzi92@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Problem is that Sauron looked dope as fuck, and terminators love looking badass, and so they’d immediately take his side. Number one rule of being a terminator is to always look cool.