OP broke into a Chinese immigrants families house and got free food.
Reminds me of the Little Britain skit when Ting Tong opened a Thai restaurant in Mr Dudley’s apartment (couldn’t find it on YouTube, so I’ll link to TikTok, mea culpa):
https://www.tiktok.com/@british_comedytv/video/7207199023474691334
Anon frightened off a front for chinese international operations. He looked so weird they thought it’s an undercover agent.
> be me, chinese triad
> no fear
> hanging with fellow triad bros at our safe house
> suddenly, a weird unkempt man stumbles in at 1 am
> goes straight up to our most feared boss
> keeps repeating the word ‘food’ while staring at him without blinking for 5 minutes
> his eyes are as red as blood
> must be some kind of demon
> we give him food to prevent the wrath of the heavens
> he eats it, says something about explosions and stars
> leaves
> we’re all sweating, realizing that if we hadn’t given him food, he would have blown us up before going back to the stars
> everyone in that room fled the country, hoping never to see the demon again
> be me, chinese triad
> one fear
this was funny. I like you.
Nah, there’s a Chinese place about 5 minutes from my house that is either some rich guy’s shitty project, or more likely, a money laundering front.
Place is never ordered from, only ever has the same 3 cars in the lot, and has been open for about 15 years. It survived COVID when half the restaurants in my city had to close up shop.
I went in once about 10 years ago, and the food was just god awful. No flavor and it looked like week old microwaved Chinese. The whole place was filthy and I was amazed it hadn’t been shut down.
No way that OP stumbled into a front and actually enjoyed the food, even if they were as high as the space station.
I agree with your conclusion, you usually don’t run the front for real to fly under the radar better. Maybe I thought about underground restaurants I’ve seen a couple of times targeting plentiful chinese tourists? I’ve been in a couple of these. Ground level, no signs, mute chinese personal, hierogliphs on the menu and just a word of a month from locals that you can fill your stomack for pennies there. Maybe they stumbled upon one such place and can’t recall where it was.
OP found a triad money laundering establishment.
One family member has a real gift in the kitchen but just can’t convince the rest to go legit and make the restaurant honest.
OP found a Panda Express and imagined them being slightly classier
Anon ate ramen noodles in their local trash can with some opossums
Sir, this is a Wendy’s.
The restaurant’s there, anon didn’t find it because anon didn’t actually walk around for several hours+ trying to find it. Everyone knows anons are idiots.
It was just some dudes apartment
Probably didn’t have a sign outside so it just looks like a vacant storefront during the day. Noodle place I went to is like that, plus another diner I visited.
Dude found a money laundering front that bailed because they thought they were a cop.
Like those magical shops in Ankh-Morpork 🪄
This reminds me of that story where a couple came across a small restaurant with a bunch of old, vintage cars parked and when they went in to eat they had the best tasting meal of their lives. Turns out the succulent meat was human.
I don’t know if they made it out.
I don’t know if they made it out.
The restaurant’s diners become the future meals for subsequent diners.
