r/AskReddit 29d ago

If we could set up a Truman Show scenario where Trump thinks he’s President again and the public send in scenarios for him to deal with, what would you suggest?

68k Upvotes

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u/2x4x93 28d ago

Just let him roll. You can't write stuff like he pulls off

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u/JawesomeJess 28d ago

Seriously. Like the whole McDonalds Buffet thing...

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u/Dry_Badger_Chef 28d ago

Four seasons

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u/sophiethegiraffe 28d ago

Absolutely my favorite thing that came out of that shit show. I really wish the person that set that up, or at least a first-hand witness, would do a tell-all interview. Was the actual Four Seasons booked and some underpaid, overworked intern said fuck it, good enough? Did Google somehow produce a landscaping company as the top result? What was Rudy’s reaction?

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u/OptimusLinvoyPrimus 28d ago

I would love to see a fly-on-the-wall style comedy drama show on those final days, something like the Office. The moment where they get to the garden centre and realise it’s what they have to work with would be top notch farce

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u/lillithfair4 28d ago

I can totally see this happening too. Micheal and Dwight show up after having booked the wrong venue and Micheal decides to roll with it.

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u/neobeguine 28d ago

He would blame Dwight, but it would definitely turn out that Micheal was the one that made the mistake.

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u/punkr0x 28d ago

"Guess who just booked the best conference center in Philadelphia, Four Seasons?"

"Wait, The Four Seasons Hotel, or Four Seasons Total Landscaping?"

"Same thing."

(Everyone groans.)

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u/Absenceofavoid 28d ago

Everyone knows that one is good pizza and the other is trash

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u/smallstone 28d ago

One is a hot circle of garbage.

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u/that_mn_kid 28d ago

Would you rather have a medium amount of good landscaping or all you can eat mediocre landscaping?

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u/SusanForeman 28d ago

Michael.

The name is Michael.

How is it that every person in this comment chain is spelling it incorrectly, it's a common name!

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u/neobeguine 28d ago

Sorry, Dwigt

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u/lillithfair4 28d ago

Classic Micheal lol

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u/nemoomen 28d ago

An update of "That's My Bush" you say?

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u/Meglomaniac 28d ago

Can micheal Scott somehow swing a job at trump towers?

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u/smitwise 28d ago

Isn’t this practically Veep or are you thinking more improvised, either way I’m down if actually had Trump as the “star”

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u/OptimusLinvoyPrimus 28d ago

It may well be - I have to admit I haven’t seen Veep

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u/smitwise 28d ago

It’s worth the watch I didn’t watch it until peak trump and it was weird how parallel the stories lines were to life even though it was a couple of years earlier. Takes a season or two to get into though.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago edited 2d ago

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u/sophiethegiraffe 28d ago

The jokes practically write themselves! I’d love Trump’s character to do the Sue Sylvester-style tantrum of breaking shit and shoving people into walls, complete with something like O Fortuna playing in the background.

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u/Shins 28d ago

They can honestly make a Crimson Tide style thriller as well. I guarantee there are dozens of instances some unnamed hero saved us from a world war repeatedly.

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u/blueblarg 28d ago

Arrested Development is just a more likeable Trump family. Although are they?

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u/jrhoffa 28d ago

By a country mile

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u/jrhoffa 28d ago

The Oval Office

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u/kerouacrimbaud 28d ago

Some day someone will make a Death of Stalin style movie of Trump's final days and weeks in office lmao. I cannot wait for that movie

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u/interfail 28d ago

Aide carefully trying to stand in the way of any shot that might include the dildo store.

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u/fjonk 28d ago

"The Best Wing"

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u/Kriegwesen 28d ago

You should try VEEP

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u/TimelyConcern 28d ago

https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2020/12/four-seasons-total-landscaping-the-full-est-possible-story.html

Here's a pretty good story that was done shortly after the incident. They didn't get the scoop from someone inside of the administration unfortunately. I'm still waiting for that follow up.

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u/reddog323 28d ago

The movies and series about that time period are going to be epic. I still don’t believe half of the things that happened over the past four years.

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u/pantstoaknifefight2 28d ago

When I heard American Crime Story was doing Impeachment, I thought that was quick. Maybe COVID is delaying the first dramatization of the 2016-2020 (2021) shit show

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u/reddog323 28d ago edited 28d ago

Showtime already did The Comey Rule. I heard it was good, and that Brendan Gleason absolutely nailed 45.

Edit: From the feedback I’m getting here, Gleason’s performance had one flaw: he made 45 seem more intelligent than he was.

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u/NatrenSR1 28d ago

Brandan Gleason was good, but his delivery made Trump seem far more intelligent than he actually is.

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u/speedx5xracer 28d ago

Are we 100% certain it's wasn't just David Tennant with polyjuice?

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u/slowest_hour 28d ago

I hope he calls Ralph Fienne's kids cunts in this one too

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u/imightbethewalrus3 28d ago

He retracted it, didn't he?!

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u/theworldbystorm 28d ago

ACS Impeachment is about Bill Clinton, though

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u/Bryanhenry 28d ago

Impeachment: American Crime Story premieres September 7th, only on FX

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u/pinche_Mari 28d ago

I was living in Mexico nearly his whole presidency, and it's embarrassing when I'd go to the molino in the morning and the asshole Real Housewives of San Ildefonso are tearing me a new one about my presidents' antics.

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u/reddog323 28d ago

I’m just curious as to how he was described in Spanish? My sympathies, though. A friend of mine had the same experience in the UK. He had to constantly tell people he didn’t vote for the guy.

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u/temalyen 28d ago

It's one of those things that, 20 years from now when they make a movie about this (it certainly will not be the first, but I imagine many will be made for decades after) a lot of young people won't remember/won't have been alive during Trump's presidency.

They'll see what he's saying and then say, "This is totally unrealistic. It's impossible a President would ever say this. This writing sucks." Then someone will point out to them that this is actual, real life footage of a Trump speech that they put in for context.

I don't know why thinking about that scenario amuses me so much.

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u/fodafoda 28d ago

it NEEDS to be narrated by Ron Howard

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u/rob132 28d ago

The movies and series about that time period are going to be epic.

They're going to show the newsfeeds of Rudy in the parking lot during the end credits and people will go "OMG, that really happened?"

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u/darthfodder 28d ago

I have a lot of this fantasy casted in my head already. Jared Kushner played by Michael Cera. DJTJ played by Adam Scott. Zach Cregger as Eric Trump. Amanda Seyfried as Ivanka. Anthony Scarramucci as himself. Bob Odenkirk as Jeff Sessions. Christian Bale as Rudy. Pick somebody random from a movie produced by Steve Mnuchin to play him. Jordan Peele as Ben Carson. Keegan Key on to play Cory Booker in a couple random episodes. Imelda Staunton(played umbridge) as Betsy Devos. Steve Carell as Mike Pence(mostly so we can have him shouting "Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!" once per season for the first 3 seasons, then just assuming he's going to become president at some point and being repeatedly disappointed).

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u/ddado2 28d ago

Half? More like 90%

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u/itspaulieho 28d ago

For real, the Trump Cinematic Universe is gonna be something else.

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u/sophiethegiraffe 28d ago

Yeah, I read a few stories where it’s spun as being intentional. But that’s really all they could find for a venue? There must be a few wealthy Trump supporters/donors in that area with a nice lawn that would have served better.

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u/bruk_out 28d ago

Literally anywhere else would have been better for them. Not for us, Four Seasons Total Landscaping was the best choice for the comedy loving public, but Giuliani could have stood on a soap box screaming at passing traffic on 95 and it would have better for them.

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u/thatgirl239 28d ago

It concerns me that I had no issue conjuring that image in my head.

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u/coyotesloth 28d ago

I think this means you’re based in collective reality.

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u/rouseyerats 28d ago

Unfortunately, that means you are in contact with reality.

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u/chummypuddle08 28d ago

but Giuliani could have stood on a soap box screaming at passing traffic on 95

This didn't happen? It's so him...

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u/Minion_of_Cthulhu 28d ago

Giuliani could have stood on a soap box screaming at passing traffic on 95

That's still coming after he loses all the various lawsuits, all his money, and the rest of his mind.

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u/Demgar 28d ago

Recently, there was a report that this was the SECOND 4 seasons landscaping that was booked for a presser. The first was cancelled when trump got Covid.

I believe it was intentional. They got a huge amount of press out of it, and Rudy comes off as the idiot, not trump. They knew what they were doing.

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u/morpo 28d ago

Oh man. The article kept talking about how that's where the Trump presidency ended. It was written in December.

Little did the author know, January 6th would bring a far more dramatic and less comical end to 45's reign.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

I’m so butthurt I read that wholeeee long article and at the end the writer goes “yeah it was the height of idiocy and that’s probably all there ever was to it” (paraphrased) and that’s the only real answer given lol

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u/abortionleftovers 28d ago

The one guy who spoke at the four seasons was there at the convention center watching the nail in vote counting, so was I, it was wild to listen to all the lies about what was happening there after seeing first hand what was really happening. He and I were on the same shift so I know the lies he told and it was illuminating!

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u/simplyarduus 28d ago

This is the best part:

‘The Siravos were nothing if not good marketers, and by December, they’d sold more than $1 million of the merchandise they’d drawn up to capitalize on all the attention, like stickers that read “Make America Rake Again!” and “Lawn and Order!”’

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u/takabrash 28d ago

It's so stupid that we wouldn't even believe it in a Parks and Rec episode.

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u/Thompson_S_Sweetback 28d ago

I mean, it's precisely the kind of thing Arrested Development would do.

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u/DCBB22 28d ago

Or Veep!

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u/dpfw 28d ago

I don't think you do understand. Because you are grinning. Why are you grinning? You are grinning. You have made a fuckup the size of France and you are fucking grinning about it.

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u/owme 28d ago

I remember asking a friend in DC which show (airing at the time) got it closest to reality. She said Veep by a long shot.

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u/loverofreeses 28d ago

This is also the first thing I thought of. The panicked quick pan of the camera to show the landscaping company signage while Rudy and staffers put their hands on their face and mutter. Comedic gold here waiting to be put together.

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u/-FeistyRabbitSauce- 28d ago

"I love all my children equally!"

Earlier that day

"I don't much care for Junior."

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u/trireme32 28d ago

I could see April drolly trolling Leslie that she booked the landscaping company — “whatever, it said 4 seasons” — but actually booked the best ballroom at the hotel.

Or the landscaping company somehow being booked by accident, but Tom Haverford gets ahead of it and somehow makes it look fantastic and spins it into a win.

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u/BendTheForks 28d ago

Ron would be bitching the whole time about having to dress up and waste the taxpayers money on a pointless ceremony because he thinks it's the 4 seasons hotel. He eventually finds out that it's the landscaping company the day before the event and gets super giddy because not only did they spend a fraction of the budget to book the landscaping company compared to the hotel, but there's also plenty of room for him to bring his grill and fire up some real food.

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u/Freakin_A 28d ago

Get on your feet!

Pretty sure The Comeback Kid campaign rally was less of a shit show than Four Seasons Total Landscaping event, next to a crematorium and dildo shop.

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u/Armeleon 28d ago

Believe it or not, it happened twice. A four seasons landscaping in California also hosted a Trump event. The only reason we don't hear about both is because Trump got Covid and couldn't attend the one in California. I think his son went instead.

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u/Colbey 28d ago

It seems like the California one was hired to do actual landscaping. https://www.politico.com/news/2021/08/02/trump-campaign-four-seasons-landscaping-fixation-502163

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u/Keyboard_Cat_ 28d ago

From the New Yorker article, it likely went something like:

  • Trump tweeted there would be a press conference at the Four Seasons without having told anyone or arranged anything.

  • Four Seasons hotel tweeted that they knew nothing about this and would not be hosting a Trump press conference.

  • Trump refused to change course or be proven "wrong" so he insisted his people book anything to make him technically right.

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u/firebat45 28d ago

You forgot the 4th point.

  • Hold more events at Four Seasons landscaping in the future to "prove" that's what you meant to do all along.

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u/sophiethegiraffe 28d ago

That’s somehow more ridiculous but also so normal/expected.

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u/airndeelyle 28d ago

Jon Stewart had a good bit on this recently.

Rudy: “I”m at the Walmart in Astoria.”

Team Trump: “No, the Waldorf Astoria!”

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u/ConnieLingus24 28d ago

Can we all take a second to remind ourselves that this clown owns businesses in the hospitality industry? He had access to some really great event planners.

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u/bascelicna123 28d ago

I feel like it was a case of r/MaliciousCompliance

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u/SquirrelAkl 28d ago

Four Seasons fiasco was totally surreal. If some scriptwriter pitched that for a tv episode people would say it’s too ridiculous to be believable. Would really love to know who / how many fucked up there and just how bigly.

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u/BarryMacochner 28d ago

They've actually done other events in that lot since iirc.

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u/Worthlessstupid 28d ago

They had to go to the SECOND PAGE of Google to find that place. Who goes to the second page of Google? That might as well be Europa.

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u/HighlyOffensive10 28d ago

My favorite was when he walked on to air force one with toilet paper on his shoe. He kept turning and waiving which made him look even more ridiculous.

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u/ParameciaAntic 28d ago

No one will believe that whole thing was real in 20 years. It's way past the most cynical satire.

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u/PoopitySxoop 28d ago

That was the moment I realized VEEP was a docu-drama.

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u/wordgromit 28d ago

I read a theory a while ago that the real four seasons was very close to a school, and a speaker at that press conference or a staffer? Idk who someone important enough, was a registered sex offender and they had to move things last minute. To avoid discussion about the real reason they just came up with the four seasons total landscaping as a way to move the conference away from schools without people looking into it much. Most democrats just thought that the trump campaign was incompetent and moved on.

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u/firebat45 28d ago

Trump himself is a sex offender.

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u/wordgromit 28d ago

In practice yes, but he’s not on the registry.

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u/Ok_Coconut 28d ago

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u/KiltedLady 28d ago

Can you imagine what it was like working there the day they got the call to set up the event and whoever answered the phone decided to just run with it? What a surreal time that must have been, accepting such a strange proposal then seeing it all unfold.

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u/toxic-optimism 28d ago

I have hope that that person votes Dem, and was like, Oh, absolutely, come on down.

Probably a fantasy but I'm allowed.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago edited 12d ago

[deleted]

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u/Crowbarmagic 28d ago

By then, there were all sorts of rumors on State Road about the Siravo family’s connections with the Trump campaign and the Philadelphia Republican Party. But it had been nearly a week since Rudy Giuliani’s press conference in the parking lot out back, and the only evidence anyone could turn up to support the theory that what had occurred here wasn’t just a freak public-relations accident or hilarious fuckup were a few pro-Trump Facebook posts from Mike’s mother, Marie Siravo, who owns the business.

Source

So the Facebook page of the business might not be all that political, but based on her personal page she does or did at least kinda support Trump. It's just smart to keep personal politics and business separate. Especially if you are pro-Trump and doing business in a democratic stronghold.

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u/Brunt-FCA-285 28d ago edited 28d ago

That is true; however, that section of Philadelphia isn’t a Democratic Party stronghold. About half of Northeast Philadelphia went for Trump.

Source: Live in Northeast Philadelphia, plus this map

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u/Crowbarmagic 28d ago

Ah interesting. I only knew Philly was mainly dem in general.

But still a wise move to not involve your business in your personal political opinions. Besides, it seems like the a type of business people often go more out of there way to visit (unlike e.g. a grocery store), so chances are they also get customers from outside of that district. They didn't just sell some pots and plants -- It was a bigger operation than that. IIRC they also do some off-site work like manicuring golf courses. So yeah, they have a fairly wide range.

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u/iscreamuscreamweall 28d ago

I got a sweet “lawn and order” T-shirt from them 💁🏻‍♂️

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u/fodafoda 28d ago

how the fuck do you contain your giggling as you are on the phone arranging this?

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u/TallBoiPlanks 28d ago edited 28d ago

The business is black, LGBT, female owned. So yeah, they definitely don’t vote republican.

Edit: I was wrong. I had heard this or possibly mixed it up with something else and accidentally spread misinformation.

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u/nada_accomplished 28d ago edited 28d ago

Oh my god sauce because I have to make sure that's true, if so that's absolutely hilarious

EDIT: Googled it and sadly it's not. The owner is a woman, but she's white and good chance she's straight since her adult son works there too. Read an interview and they're trying to stay politically neutral but they also debunked the "they did it specifically to troll the Trump campaign" rumor. They said they would have done the same if Biden's people called them up.

Sauce: https://www.inquirer.com/news/philadelphia/trump-four-seasons-total-landscaping-what-happened-20201201.html?outputType=amp

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u/rhb4n8 28d ago

I'm imagining it as a republican that has never heard of the hotel

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u/freedom_fred 28d ago edited 28d ago

Make hay while the sun is shining. If all the sudden your formerly unknown light industrial plaza now is nationally famous, might as well get some cash out of it.

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u/Concrete__Blonde 28d ago

“at the nondescript strip mall on State Road that also houses an adult bookstore and a crematorium”

You can’t write this shit.

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u/notjustanotherbot 28d ago

Fitting that the end of trump was between a adult bookstore and a crematorium.

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u/Asarath 28d ago

Not just nationally famous- the whole world was watching that shitshow.

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u/Sleeplesshelley 28d ago

Have you seen the Tshirts they sell? Lawn and Order, Make America rake again, Etc. So funny.

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u/deong 28d ago

The person responsible for selling those T-shirts is immediately the smartest person associated with the Trump presidency in any way, shape, or fashion.

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u/soccercta100 28d ago

I paid far too much money for a Make America Rake Again shirt, but it was the best $30 I've ever spent.

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u/insertstalem3me 28d ago

no not four seasonings, 11 herbs and spices were served

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u/SnakeskinJim 28d ago

Instructions unclear: dick is stuck in Four Seasons Landscaping.

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u/DonnieJuniorsEmails 28d ago

just get some lube from the porn store in the same strip mall

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u/A_Weather-Man 28d ago

“I know you’re stuck there, Rudy. Improvise!”

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u/realbigbob 28d ago

That was the moment everything went full-on Arrested Development. It was glorious

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u/I_make_things 28d ago

That fucking black stuff rolling down Giuliani's face was straight out of David Lynch's 'Eraserhead'

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u/username156 28d ago

Using a sharpie on a hurricane map (because he really wanted Alabama to get hit?) hoping no one would notice...

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u/red18wrx 28d ago

So the truth came out and Rudy in no way thought he booked the Four Seasons hotel. He thought it was an event planner (perfect contact given the situation) that he had previously hired to organize an event also called four seasons (completely seperate entity from the landscaper we all know). So Rudy called up a landscaping company thinking it was affiliated with a similarly named event planning company in a different state, and didn't realize he was not talking to someone he had hired before. I feel like the landscapers realized right away Rudy called the wrong people but decided to fleece some money from him anyways, you know being a good trump supporter and all. Fleecing Rudy is basically a part of the party platform now.

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u/cgtdream 28d ago

Totally forgot about that. Shit was straight out of a sitcom.

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u/JawesomeJess 28d ago

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u/0xD153A53 28d ago

“I really mean it. It will be interesting. And I would think that’s their favorite food. So we’ll see what happens.”

I'd love to know why he thinks elite athletes' favourite food would be fast food burgers. I want to see the step-by-step process that gets him to that conclusion.

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u/e9dff35 28d ago

It’s not really that complicated. He thinks it’s their favorite food because it’s his favorite food. He only sees the world through his own perspective. He lacks empathy as a narcissist.

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u/ThrowawayBlast 28d ago

Related: Are there pictures of Trump ever eating anything healthy? Hell, the only time I ever saw him NEAR anything healthy was that fucked up Goya beans business and those cans were closed.

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u/Razakel 28d ago

His doctor actually said that they had to sneak vegetables into his mashed potatoes to get him to eat any.

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u/isarealboy772 28d ago edited 28d ago

Never. It's a running joke that republican officials eat like shit and have zero taste. First one that comes to mind is the Michael Caputo lobster tweet. It's kind of amazing how disgusting they made lobster look hahaha

Edit: another classic that's not mentioned much, they were serving UNCOOKED stuffed peppers on Air Force One, with a face carved in it. No idea at all what is in the top left. https://twitter.com/MichLKosinski/status/1188843900280160256?s=19

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u/ThrowawayBlast 28d ago

I'm not a lobster expert but I'd send that back. It looks rotten.

Edit: I'm reminded of the comic book Get Jiro. It's a weird future dystopian story but by god, they respect food. Even the fascists. One guy got -un- mugged because the crooks found he had a reservation for a nice restaurant.

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u/runrudyrun 28d ago

Edit: I'm reminded of the comic book Get Jiro. It's a weird future dystopian story but by god, they respect food. Even the fascists. One guy got -un- mugged because the crooks found he had a reservation for a nice restaurant.

To be fair Get Jiro was written by Anthony Bourdain.

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u/betterstartlooking 28d ago

Also canned beans are not, like, particularly healthy. More so than prepared foods and definitely fast food. But in terms of raw ingredients, canned will always have way more sodium and other added crap and be less nutrient dense. Canned is basically decently healthy when convenience is the main factor (budget, shelf life, etc).

Theres very little trump could do that would surprise me anymore, but seeing proof of him consuming a fresh vegetable is one of the least likely things I can imagine.

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u/Youve_been_Loganated 28d ago

Imagine if he were a contestant on fear factor and they tried making him eat asparagus. He’d bail or his body would reject it.

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u/lift-and-yeet 28d ago

The extra salt is just for preservation - rinsing the beans gets rid of a lot of the added sodium. Also, even though they're technically less nutrient-dense than fresh or frozen cooked beans, they still have almost the same level of nutrients and more than enough for adequate nutrition.

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u/Minion_of_Cthulhu 28d ago

I want to see the step-by-step process that gets him to that conclusion.

Probably something like, "I like fast food. I'm the greatest person ever. They're great athletes. They must like fast food."

Either that or he just stopped at "I like fast food" and fuck everyone else, as usual with him.

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u/metalflygon08 28d ago

I want to see the step-by-step process that gets him to that conclusion.

"I like McD, I'm the Leader of American, Athletes are the 2nd best Americans (behind me), If I, the number 1 American like McD, then the number 2 must too."

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u/rebelolemiss 28d ago

I think it was Sam Harris who said that nothing trump says has anything to do with what preceded it. Ever.

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u/foggy-sunrise 28d ago

Because that's his favorite food.

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u/Mumblerumble 28d ago

That's because nothing sums up the Trump ideology more than a big Mac presented on fine China, particularly if you defrauded the person who sold you the China.

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u/Shambhala87 28d ago

My terminology for such occasions is, “It’s like wrapping a turd in gold leaf”

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u/frankie0694 28d ago

My favourite is 'You can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter.'

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u/chillin1066 28d ago

I described the first Suicide Squad movie as “They took diamond bricks and used them to build an outhouse.”

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u/HyperboleJoe 28d ago

That summarizes Donald Trump’s persona and style perfectly.

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u/heinzbumbeans 28d ago

"fur coat with no knickers" is the phrase i grew up with.

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u/powerlesshero111 28d ago

It's extra weird when you consider that the white house literally has a dozen cooks employed to cater these events.

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u/Mumblerumble 28d ago

They were laid off that week because of yet another government shutdown (with a GOP controlled house, senate, and presidency) and you know he wasn't going to pay for a nice event out of his own pocket. I'd love to know how many people tried to talk him out of this absolutely trashy idea.

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u/thirdactjack 28d ago

Whenever I'm speaking with people who egregiously ask "WhAt DiD TruMp eVeN doOo thAt Was thAT bAD?" rather than go for the obvious ones they'll have stupid rebuttals for (covid mismanagement or factual reasons he was impeached), I like to point out that our government was shut down for 35 days - the longest stretch ever - while republicans had complete majority.

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u/s_matthew 28d ago

Amusingly, he boasted about paying for the whole thing out of pocket. I think it was around $10k? As a (supposed) billionaire, $10k is literally like pocket change.

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u/gandalf_el_brown 28d ago

10k for all that cheap McDonalds? Looks like someone got ripped off

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u/s_matthew 28d ago

He probably had to pay for staffing, too.

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u/ericl666 28d ago

And you know those burgers are cold too. Gross.

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u/Reutermo 28d ago

It was literally a scene in Kingsman where it symbolized rich Americans.

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u/johnnybiggles 28d ago

A cold Big Mac.

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u/HyperboleJoe 28d ago

“What’s our budget?…$100,000? If we just gave em some fast food can we keep the rest?”

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u/2xRnCZ 28d ago

CHY-na

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u/snikle 28d ago

It's the candelabras that make this image for me. It's Liberace meets Ronald McDonald.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago edited 23d ago

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u/ThatsWhatXiSaid 28d ago

I think Fox News was totally right with Obama being "bourgeois" with his fancy caviar-like Dijon Mustard

Can you really be bourgeois for eating something you can buy for $0.92 in a store brand at Walmart?

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u/geek_of_nature 28d ago

He legit looks like he thinks he's done a great job with it

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u/ritan7471 28d ago

"and I would think that's their favorite food". My God, how can his followers think he's a stable genius?

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u/reddog323 28d ago

If I never see that so-cheesy-it’s-worse-than-Velveeta grin again, it will be too soon.

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u/B00sauce 28d ago

Not that I would accept an invitation to Trump's White House, but... I just can't imagine how disappointed I would be to get such an invitation and have a chance to enjoy a meal prepared by world class chefs in the most powerful place on earth, only to be served fucking McDonald's that I could get any other day of the fucking week. Guy is a fucking no-class clown

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u/Uu550 28d ago

Probably cold by the time you get to eat it, too

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u/Crowbarmagic 28d ago

Yea I probably wouldn't even end up eating any of it. They had to bring the food to the White House, then the staff puts it on trays, then the President has to get his photo op, then the players come in and likely some introductions are made first, and only THEN you can finally eat.

Those french fries are sitting in open cups... They are cold AF by the time you get to them.

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u/AusCan531 28d ago

The best caption for that photo was "What do you think his 3rd wish was?"

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u/SuperSaiyanTrunks 28d ago

"And I would think that's their favorite food" jesus christ. I'm so glad this fucker is gone.

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u/ShallowBasketcase 28d ago

"What do normal people like?" has literally never correctly been answered by "the McDonald's Filet-O-Fish"

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u/paenusbreth 28d ago

What a fantastic article.

Though to be honest, I much prefer living in a world where I don't need to read about what dumb, moderately fascistic shit the American president has done this week.

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u/MooKids 28d ago

It also convinced me to NEVER eat at a Trump hotel. He literally had one a few blocks away that probably could have catered the event, but chose not to use them, tells me all I need to know about the quality of the food.

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u/Crowbarmagic 28d ago

I think that has more to do with him being a cheapskate and loving fast food.

Also: Not sure about the one in Washington but not every Trump hotel is Trump's. He basically let some places use his name and brand, like a franchise, but that doesn't make it his.

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u/SinkTube 28d ago

you mean idiocracy. trump borrowed his meal plan from idiocracy

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u/The_Phantom_Gamer 28d ago

The only thing missing was Brawndo.

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u/Solid_Freakin_Snake 28d ago

If only it had been from Carl's Jr

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u/SinkTube 28d ago

i'm surprised it wasn't after the dude nominated Carl's Jr's parent company's CEO for the position of Secretary of Labor

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u/modsarefascists42 28d ago

I feel like a sitcom would think it too low brow to even be believable

He's just fractally insane. The more you look the more you find.

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u/G8kpr 28d ago

The worst part is, that all that food would be cold by the time it was all set up and the players came in.

The only thing worse than McDonalds food, is cold McDonalds food. It’s amazing that Trump believes that these star athletes eat this shit regularly. Hes seen one too many 80s college comedy movies.

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u/Dozinginthegarden 28d ago

...That's straight out of the Kingsman movie! Samuel L Jackson serves McDonalds as if it's fine dining! It came out in 2014! Damn!

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u/TurdsMcClanahan 28d ago

I gotta be honest if I was one of those Clemson offensive linemen and saw that fast food buffet I would be pumped.

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u/Cat_Psychology 28d ago

The sharpie hurricane

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u/ThisGuy928146 28d ago

The other hurricane he wanted to nuke

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u/myflippinggoodness 28d ago

Fuck I forgot that.. How the fuck did I forget that?!

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u/mitchtheturtle 28d ago

Easy to do, he thought he was in talks to buy Greenland at the same time.

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u/stephsb 28d ago

The sharpie Hurricane might be my all time favorite Trump moment. When I saw him hold up that map with the cone extended & obviously drawn in sharpie to include Alabama, I was honestly on the floor in tears I was laughing so hard. Imagine being the President of the fucking United States & doctoring a weather map w/ a goddamn sharpie bc you’re incapable of admitting you made a mistake when you included Alabama in your tweet. Did he think people wouldn’t notice? I can’t even

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u/sno_cone_thehomeloan 28d ago

“It’s going to be one of the wettest we’ve ever had, from a standpoint of water”

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u/NoDownsideToOutside 28d ago

I think about this at least once a week. And when someone brings it up he’s like, “idk what that is, definitely not sharpie though. Next question”

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u/wB68 28d ago

I cringe at the thought of "McDonalds sitting for 3 hours" smell in that ballroom.

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u/Urbanviking1 28d ago

/r/OutOfTheLoop

McDonalds Buffet? Is that the time Trump ordered a bunch of McDonalds for Clemson that visited the white house?

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u/Warm_Tax 28d ago

Well you need to present him with scenarios. You have to see how he connects Fire burns down Talledaga after Antifa sabotages Jeff Gordons big comeback to NASCAR, to how his shits are too big and nasty to be taken away by a modern toilet.

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u/Taste_the__Rainbow 28d ago

Just indulge every fantasy. He says maybe we should buy Greenland? Tell him we did. And then tell him there are 20-story tall trolls living there a d he has to decide if we enslave them or not. He thinks he beat covid by being really strong and never exercising? Sure, buddy. That’s what happened. See if he tries to make exercise illegal.

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u/neiljt 28d ago

100 years from now, minds will boggle, or simply fail to believe, that he was allowed to get away with his insanity for so long.

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u/wtfduud 28d ago

Reddit post from 2082:

TIL President Donald Trump stayed in office for the full 4 years despite being impeached within the first year.

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u/crowleytoo 28d ago

i believe trump was only impeached in years three and four because he had a GOP majority in the house and senate his first two years in office

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u/ObliviousAstroturfer 28d ago

But he only did literally anything if it was brought to him, simplified and with pictures.

And his initial reaction was to: A) Rubberstamp the judge nomination
B) Rubberstamp tax exemptions for donors
C) Claim everything is fiiiine, and if it isn't then he already has the best plan to fix it, believe it. Seriously, please just believe it, don't expect to see a document or nothing.

So given free reign it'd be him smelling sharpies, binging daytime tv and playing golf. Desparate Housebands of DC, this fall on OANN!

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u/Diplodocus114 28d ago

I hope I live long enough to read a large book detailing the entire truth of his presidency.I doubt it. The public stuff has been both bad and hilarious enough.

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u/apost8n8 28d ago

I'm pretty sure he literally killed the show Veep because his reality was more bizarre and funny than anything their writers could come up with. I mean the "four seasons total landscaping" episode is definitely stranger than fiction.

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u/Razakel 28d ago

The creator of it outright said that satire was too hard because something even more stupid than they could come up with was happening each week.

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u/Hayn0002 28d ago

Exactly. He thrives off attention. What happens when only mundane boring things happen that he can’t react to?

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u/JesseLaces 28d ago

The out side will say for President Donald Trump’s Eyes only and then write “act like this says something very important that only you can see.”

It’d be like one of those bday cards “Don’t let anyone read this and act like it’s really sweet. Look at me and out your hand over your heart, and there is money in it if you can cry.”

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u/Scops 28d ago

Tell him he's going to be on the TrumanTrumpman Show. Tell him he'll always be surrounded by hidden cameras and everything that happens to him are scripted scenarios to see what his reaction will be.

Then just leave him the fuck alone. No cameras, no actors. Just send him fake ratings summaries occasionally that say his numbers are dropping. Watch the news stories as he becomes increasingly more erratic thinking that he's fading out of the public eye.

At this point, I'd throw a few bucks at this idea just so I could see him less.

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u/jfsindel 28d ago

Rewatching SNL, who dutifully kept up with a lot, made me realize how much bullshit I forgot because it just...was so much.

Firing a dude two days before he retired and would have gotten pension? Yikes.

I would really like to hear the scoop on all the schools that Cohen threatened so they wouldn't release Trump's true SAT scores. Did a receptionist pick it up and let him go at it? Did someone say "SAT scores??? I'm getting threatened over a bullshit test???"

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u/missmolly314 28d ago

So true. Remember when he stared directly at the eclipse? Or when he edited that hurricane map with a fucking sharpie, and subsequently denied doing so?

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u/dgtlfnk 28d ago

Ugh. But I am sooooo over it all. I’d seriously never watch a single minute… unless we could create the weirdest, most embarrassing pranks that he still thinks is real.

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u/phpdevster 28d ago

You can't write stuff like he pulls off

You need a sharpie.

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