r/AskReddit • u/vicmackey1981 • 29d ago

If we could set up a Truman Show scenario where Trump thinks he’s President again and the public send in scenarios for him to deal with, what would you suggest?

68k Upvotes

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u/Alas_boris 28d ago

First of all, I'd give him access to some art supplies and a talented clothes designer, and ask him to design the new Official President of The World Uniform for him to wear

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u/itwasquiteawhileago 28d ago

So basically it'll look like C3PO, what with all the gold it will inevitably have.

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u/DarkNFullOTerrors 28d ago

Just like C3PO, but much baggier

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u/Dozinginthegarden 28d ago

Nah, I reckon moulded abs. because he totally has them. He has a bit of a dad bod, he likes his steak after all. But he has abs and anyone who denies that is a hater who gets their information from fake news. Of course he has abs and the designer obviously saw them, otherwise why would he have abs armour?

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u/Goose0810 28d ago

So like Spartan armor?

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u/Nebarious 28d ago

I immediately pictured Immortan Joe

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u/ShallowBasketcase 28d ago

Some combination of Immortan Joe and Baron Harkonnen

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u/pbradley179 28d ago

THIS is too accurate.

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u/go_kartmozart 28d ago

And put nipples on it, like Batman's, for the finishing touch.

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u/leicanthrope 28d ago

With Don Jr. prancing around in winged underwear: I will kill him!

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u/Dubhuir 28d ago

Massive Baader-Meinhof phenomenon for me here, I just started reading Dune and passed the bit where Harkonnen is introduced.

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u/TheLazarbeam 28d ago

It’s not a crazy coincidence with all the Dune movie hype going on, Dune board game recently came out as well, it’s definitely in the public mind

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u/Dubhuir 28d ago

Oh I know it's not a coincidence, I started reading it because I like Denis Villeneuve films so I'm part of that trend.

I meant that previously I wouldn't have registered a reference to a random Dune character. Any mention in the wild of a character you just read about is an odd sensation!

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u/malrexmontresor 27d ago

There's also a Dune tabletop rpg coming out by Modiphius if you are interested. My game group is thinking about buying it and they've already decided what they want to play as, the nerds.

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u/usclone 28d ago

This is too accurate.

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u/anomalous_cowherd 28d ago

And a touch of Lord Farquaard

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u/DANK_SWAG_420 28d ago

Whenever I read through Dune, that's always how I pictured the Baron

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u/kaenneth 28d ago

With a touch of Biff from BTTF.

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u/CalamityClambake 28d ago

Who was a caricature of Trump, so now we've gone full circle!

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u/ThrowawayBlast 28d ago

Who created Immortan Joe? Because the moment I saw Joe I thought 'Shit, that's Trump'.

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u/Shinjetsu01 28d ago

Beaten to it

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u/rion-is-real 28d ago

Couldn't be Immortan Joe. Immortan Joe wears a mask.

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u/TheVicSageQuestion 28d ago

This is too accurate.

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u/elmwoodblues 28d ago

I got Zap Brannigan

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u/TestPattern359 28d ago

More like Armour Hot Dogs

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u/WokeRedditDude 28d ago

What kind of kid eats armored hot dogs?

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u/Crashman09 28d ago

Sausage link armor?

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u/RaynaOrShine 28d ago

The dogs kids love to bite!

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u/Dozinginthegarden 28d ago

Did I say Spartan armour? Pfft no. You have to think bigger than that if you want to think like Trump! (It's totally Spartan armour.)

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u/cockknocker1 28d ago

The pants will be inside out, he likes the ass in front look…

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u/aenteus 28d ago

Or, a gold plated Jaba the Hut?

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u/Cruvy 28d ago

I'm thinking more like the God-Emperor of Mankind.

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u/Cazmonster 28d ago

The Gold-Trumperor of Hamkind.

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u/Avondubs 28d ago

It'll just be a spartan "300" Halloween costume.

Pretty much just this with a Cape.

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u/Rude_Journalist 28d ago

So because other people do. I won't change

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u/arifterdarkly 28d ago

more like the Mondoshawans from Fifth Element.

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u/Tk232_fortnite_MC 28d ago

Spartan armor doesn't ha... Oh wait that type of Spartan. Yes.

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u/DarkNFullOTerrors 28d ago

So like a really fat gold suit with washboard abs then? He still has to fit in this thing!

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u/InsertCleverNickHere 28d ago

With molded man-boob armor.

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u/Dozinginthegarden 28d ago

He's big boned! I'm imagining something that would be moulded to fit Dwayne Johnson that basically turns into a corset on Trump, with the fat that can move a bit bursting out of the bottom and arm holes. But if he didn't have the bod then how did he fit into it? he asks between his panting.

Against all advice he sits down while still in the metal death trap. Things go as poorly as you'd imagine.

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u/DarkNFullOTerrors 28d ago

They’d have to get his hair and makeup guy to grease him up to slide into it each day!

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u/suggested_username10 28d ago

The episode where he tries to fit in the suit is the holiday special.

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u/notjustanotherbot 28d ago

Dont forget the codpiece.

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u/_Funk_Soul_Brother_ 28d ago

What's next, he wants to be called Goldmember ?

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u/hold-fast-nl 28d ago

Some people say he has the best abs ever

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u/Youve_been_Loganated 28d ago

I always found it to be pure comedy when his doctors would be interviewed and they’d call him the healthiest man they’ve ever seen, that his genes are just that good. Like, you’ve obviously been told to say this, and you’re leaking any credibility you used to have all over the place and making a mess

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u/BobMackey718 28d ago

He eats steak well done with ketchup, he’s a fucking knuckle dragger, actually that’s an insult to knuckle draggers, he’s just a fucking turd.

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u/Sellswordinthegrove 28d ago

All I can think of is when Mr Burns wants to become a God now

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u/LouSputhole94 28d ago

Who’s that weird far right cartoonist that unironically makes cartoons of Trump with his shirt off, totally ripped and beating up “puny liberals”? I feel like we need to get that guy and Trump together on this.

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u/Teddyk123 28d ago

I mean. He HAS those muscles. You just havent seen them in a long time!

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u/WallabyInTraining 28d ago

"GO FIND THE BREASTPLATE STRETCHER!"

Maybe he can have a dedicated breastplate stretcher button engineered into his desk, just like he had the cola button.

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u/leicanthrope 28d ago

Bit of a dad bod? I'm close to the height and weight he claims to be, and I've got a dad bod. That MF is just a flat out blob.

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u/GlyphedArchitect 28d ago

He'll use the Ab-Abber 2000

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u/Subzeb8 28d ago

a bit of a dad bod

No, the man is obese (possibly morbidly so).

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u/gkm29 28d ago

Adonnis like I'd imagine

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u/KimJongIlSunglasses 28d ago

Where would he get his steak from?

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u/ThrowawayBlast 28d ago

Oh god, Sgt. Colon?

And yes, in Discworld Colon gained power and went absolutely mad.

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u/chillintheforest 28d ago

Technically, lots of fat people probably do have abs if you could see under all the fat.

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u/trua 28d ago

Immortan Don

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u/Annoy_Occult_Vet 28d ago

Fat abs, he would call them fabs.

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u/appleparkfive 28d ago

That reminds me of the weird artist who drew political cartoons, and would always make Trump look oddly buff and athletic. He was a Trump supporter and intentionally did it. Many people commented that it was weird as hell

If anyone knows that guy, I'd love to hear about him again and see those awkward illustrations

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u/bigbangbilly 28d ago

Immortan Joe's armor but gold?

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u/TheBurningBeard 28d ago

So like the bosses in fury road?

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u/nightwing2024 28d ago

He eats his steak well done, with ketchup.

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u/jon98gn 28d ago

So like Baymax...

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u/WhoaItsCody 28d ago

He likes McDonald’s...a LOT.

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u/Sloppy1sts 28d ago

Nobody ever got fat eating steaks.

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u/argus2968 28d ago

Bodybuilder here. You can most definitely eat a lot of steak and have abs.

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u/Dozinginthegarden 28d ago

I was just trying to mirror the delusional way he uses to justify how great he is despite all evidence pointing otherwise.