A flock of genetically modified, hyper aggressive geese is flying straight for the White House bent on destroying the last vestige of American greatness.
Then send in a high ranking official from the DoD to convince Trump to take shelter in a newly constructed goose defense bunker. Only trump is told of the bunker and whenever he asks about anyone else someone just tells him “they’re on their way!”. Nobody will be coming.
While he is trapped in the bunker slowly remove all the actors in small groups at a time so it looks like humanity is losing the war. In the end all the actors are gone and he’s left alone thinking the human race was destroyed by birds.
I've been TELLING people that the "Birds aren't real" and "Canada isn't real" conspiracies are cointelpro run by the canadian geese mafia, in a play to take over...
"Sir, we've been preparing the American public for this eventuality for many years. Are you familiar with the Jurassic Park movies?"
"Yes."
"Documentaries, really. We've been seeding the stories for a while so people were ready for the truth, just like UFOs. Geese are slightly less toothy velociraptors. They don't call them 'cobra chickens' for nothing. According to the scientists it doesn't take much genetic fiddling to get them 'back to basics'. We knew it was going to happen someday, though we didn't expect Canada would be the ones to do it first and turn them loose. They say it was a lab accident, but we're not entirely sure."
"Am I safe down here?"
"Probably, but they've already crossed our border and it's going to be a battle to keep them from devastating our cities. Walls ain't going to work with these guys."
"Can we nuke them?"
"It's possible, sir, but we're afraid that might mutate them even more."
Thought you were gonna say they put the President in the bunker and only he could save the country. They let him play Duck Hunt on Nintendo and convince him he is actually shooting the birds outside the White House.
A YouTube video circulates online showing a super goose bullying a bald eagle. Trump and conservative media insist on changing the national bird to the goose. America can’t be associated with a loser of a bird
If Geese wanted to take over, they'd kill us off in a heartbeat. They don't need to be genetically modified, those mother fuckers are nasty enough as is.
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u/IFinallyDidItMom 28d ago
A flock of genetically modified, hyper aggressive geese is flying straight for the White House bent on destroying the last vestige of American greatness.
Then send in a high ranking official from the DoD to convince Trump to take shelter in a newly constructed goose defense bunker. Only trump is told of the bunker and whenever he asks about anyone else someone just tells him “they’re on their way!”. Nobody will be coming.
While he is trapped in the bunker slowly remove all the actors in small groups at a time so it looks like humanity is losing the war. In the end all the actors are gone and he’s left alone thinking the human race was destroyed by birds.