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u/sammydinosaurking 22d ago
always wanted to do that so when i was a kid i did ....they continiued with the wedding ...because i was just a child
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u/CrotchWolf 22d ago edited 22d ago
I objected at a cousin's wedding because I didn't want to be the ring bearer anymore when I found out I wasn't allowed to act like a bear.
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u/a_green_apple 22d ago
What a bearzilla
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u/CrotchWolf 22d ago
Rawr! 🐻
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u/T3CHN04807 22d ago
Oh no. Oh NO. OH NO. YOU SUMMONED THE REDDIT DEMON, DESTROYER OF EMOJIS. TAKE COVER!
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u/liquidio 22d ago edited 22d ago
Sorry boring answer here - in the UK, it is a legal requirement to be able to object at a wedding.
It’s not because dear old mum really hates her little Tarquin marrying Big Stace the Stripper.
It’s intended to provide space for legal objections - the groom is a bigamist, the bride is not of legal age etc. So it almost never happens (except as a joke) because this kind of thing is vanishingly rare.
But way back when, before the interweb and horseless carriages, it was more common. If you didn’t like you life, you could vanish and start a new one or two towns over.
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u/emopest 22d ago
In Sweden both parts have to send their papers to the tax office to make sure that nothing legally stops them from marrying each other (age, already married or being closely related). When the agency has approved, you have four months to get married before you need to renew the permit.
So they stop this kind of situation from arising at all.
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u/Solaris-Scutum 22d ago
We have that in the UK too.
But guess what? People fake identities, steal identities, give false statements etc. so there has to be a legal requirement for an objection period during the legal exchange of vows.
Shove that up your superior Scandi arse. What you thought you were the only country with a marriage licence system?
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u/emopest 22d ago edited 21d ago
Why so aggressive?
Of course I don't think that Sweden isn't the only country with such a system in place, don't be absurd. They way I read the comment I replied to I got the impression that the case might different in UK though. I wouldn't know, as I have never gotten married there, nor do I plan to.
What I think happens in Sweden is basically this: you ask Skatteverket (the Tax Agency) to check your social security number in their systems. That's it. No space to give false statements. If you fake or steal identities, you have much bigger problems and the marriage would (I suppose) be nullified.
This system replaced the previous one, called lysning, where the upcoming marriage was announced in church three Sundays in a row to give the congregation a chance to object to the marriage. So even back when someone might stand up in church and proclaim "I object!" it was done long before the actual wedding.
Edit: a word
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u/[deleted] 22d ago
[deleted]
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u/jaredsparks 22d ago
In what states can a simple "I object " stop a wedding? Never heard of that and I have my doubts.
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u/zerogee616 22d ago
It's not anything legal as much as it is a vestigial custom from frontier times when you could have another wife in the next town over and you can get away with it/nobody could really officially verify your status as an eligible bachelor other than someone knowing you're already married.
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u/jaredsparks 22d ago
I am a justice of the peace and a lawyer here in the U.S. I am familiar with the general concept. But not with the notion that an objection would legally prevent the wedding from continuing.
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u/hawaiianfreak 22d ago
I remember seeing a big guy objecting to the wedding. He stated that the groom was only marrying her so he could get a title. Surprisingly to all of us, the bride changed her mind and went for the other guy. It blew my mind when a talking donkey riding a dragon flew into the church and ate the groom.
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u/a_green_apple 22d ago
Some..
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u/charlie_wonka 22d ago
I've seen the wedding too. Somehow I had a feeling that it wouldn't go well, right from the very start of the wedding preparations. From what I hear, the bride-to-be was sighted to be pensively staring at her wedding cake with a tinge of sadness. And when I saw a strange silhouette flashing on the church window, sort of like a donkey, I just knew the marriage wasn't going to happen.
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u/hawaiianfreak 22d ago
I felt the same. It all felt forced. I do have to say, that transformation that bride pulled off was shocking but fantastic in the end. Glad we all got invited to the other wedding and reception. A lot more lively and heartwarming. That donkey killed it on vocals at the party!
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u/nothingspecialva 22d ago
The catering bill was outrageous
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u/vgm1337 22d ago
Do you guys pay for catering as a guest?
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u/jellando 22d ago
The gift is supposed to even the costs out for the hosts.
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u/funk_truck 22d ago
Where do you live? I’ve never heard of this. Parents who pay for weddings aren’t keeping cash gifts and most weddings have gift registries. Cash requests usually go towards specific things like honeymoons.
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u/niamhweking 22d ago
It's a newish thing. People arent often sure how much to gift (UK and Ireland for example don't tend to do wedding gift lists) so it tends to be cash gifts, people dont know so it's a guideline people invented.
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u/Elaremal 22d ago
In Greek culture our gifts are usually cash and are supposed to equal the cost of the plate plus like $50 or something like that.
If there's a registry we'll often get you something off of that plus cash on the day of the wedding.
Obviously it's not set in stone. If it's some ridiculously expensive $500/person wedding we aren't giving you $550/person as a gift, but we'll toss you like $200/person or something like that.
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u/Allaboutduhmoney 22d ago edited 22d ago
Cause my would have been step dad hit me a lot
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u/LegitimateDonkey3274 22d ago
Damn, if u don’t mind sharing, what did u say and how did everyone react?
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u/Allaboutduhmoney 22d ago
The lady claimed I was her son so an employee would leave and I told them I wasn’t. Security had to come over and the lady got banned from Walmart.
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u/Hieremias 22d ago
Why is this question even asked at weddings? We didn't ask it at ours.
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u/jdward01 22d ago
But is there a reason it wasn't asked at yours?
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u/Hieremias 22d ago
We wrote pretty much our whole ceremony and just didn't include it. What is the point of asking?
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u/MoxEmerald 22d ago
(A complete silence but then ... THE DOORS BUST OPEN WITH WHAT IS CLEARLY A FOLEY EFFECT)
"WAAAAITTT. I LOVE YOU STACEY!!!"
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u/markth_wi 22d ago
As Michael and Audrey look on in a confused gaze as to why you would fuck up their wedding.
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u/AJRgamer 21d ago
My dad did my cousins wedding and the groom said to ask it because he’s always wanted that in his wedding because he thought it was cool.
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u/[deleted] 21d ago
Historically, it's "are they related, is one already married, or is the wedding otherwise illegal?" and was not a last minute "but I love you more, please come back" thing.
Traditions die slowly, even when it's all taken care of before the day.
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u/AlliedSalad 22d ago edited 22d ago
It used to be to allow anyone to object if they knew any legal grounds why the marriage should not proceed. It was (and maybe still is?) law in the UK for wedding ceremonies to include this question in the hopes of avoiding unpleasant surprises and/or legal entanglements for either party down the line.
The question carried over to the US as a matter of tradition, but few states if any ever actually adopted a similar law; so it's becoming increasingly rare as it's now assumed you should really do your vetting well before the wedding day.
This question was also not asked when my wife and I were married.
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u/behold_the_castrato 22d ago
Then what is the purpose of the “*let him speak now, or forever hold his peace” part?
Surely if the legal reasons would be ground for annulment, after the conclusion would be better than never.
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u/Sirnando138 22d ago
It’s not anymore, really. It’s just in movies and tv these days.
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u/VickieLol64 22d ago
Not true
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u/Elaremal 22d ago
It's certainly not common.
Source: Have been to ~15 weddings in the last 3 years. Not once has it been asked.
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u/grenlick33 22d ago
I have been to about the same amount of weddings in that amount of time and I have heard the question at every single one that was held in a church.
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u/Elaremal 22d ago
Do you live in the UK? Because apparently in the UK it's a legal requirement.
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u/grenlick33 22d ago
I live in the United States.
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u/Elaremal 22d ago
Every single one? Ok, that's a lie. In the last 3 years I've been to catholic weddings, a protestant wedding, eastern orthodox weddings, an indian wedding, a couple non-religious weddings, and a bunch of jewish weddings. These weddings were held in New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, California, Delaware, Pennsylvania, Vermont, Ohio, and the Bahamas. That question was never asked.
Edit: Oh, and Massachusetts. One wedding was just outside Boston.
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u/grenlick33 22d ago
Listen, I don't know how many times I have to say this, but the 15 weddings that you have been to over the past 3 years are in no way representative of what is common or uncommon at weddings. You trying to list your bona fides of why you think they are just make you look even more pathetic.
There are ~2.5 million weddings per year in the United States. So over the last 3 years, there have been about 7.5 million weddings and you have attended .000002% of them.
I say again, get over yourself. This is fucking embarrassing.
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u/Elaremal 22d ago edited 22d ago
how about the ~100 weddings I've been to in my lifetime?
And how about all the other people in the comments that have the same experience as I do?
And do you understand statistics at all? You only need to look at a sample of a population to be able to draw a conclusion. ~100 weddings from nearly every major religion and/or culture that you will find in the united states is a pretty damn good sample to be able to draw the conclusion that in modern times it is very VERY unlikely that you will hear that phrase uttered, especially when you understand that it used to be an important part of a specific type of christian marriage ceremony, not even all of them, and that in modern times with all of the other requirements that a couple needs to go through to get married in the church the question has become redundant and irrelevant so the vast majority of ministers just leave it out.
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u/VickieLol64 22d ago
And?, it still exists
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u/Elaremal 22d ago
No one ever said it absolutely positively does not exist, just that it doesn't REALLY exist anymore because it's so uncommon.
Reading comprehension. It's a magical thing.
Here's an example. Do Ford Model T's still exist? Not really. If you get super lucky you might find one abandoned in a farm somewhere, but for the most part they only really exist in museums nowadays. Same shit with this. Most people will only ever see this question asked in movies or on TV.
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u/VickieLol64 22d ago
I understand comprehension very well.
Whether it is uncommon, it exists. Your example does not apply in this case. In your World it does not exist.
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u/grenlick33 22d ago
Don't worry, it isn't as uncommon as this person is insisting it is. I have definitely heard this question asked on multiple occasions, the last one being a wedding I attended less than 2 weeks ago.
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u/Elaremal 22d ago
Was literally at a wedding 3 days ago. It wasn't asked.
I've got 3 more this year. I'll let you know if it gets asked. Hint: It probably won't.
Oh and uhhh I'm FAR from the only person that's never or very rarely heard this asked.
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u/grenlick33 22d ago
It's kind of sad how much you insist that your anecdotal experiences are somehow representative of all weddings. Get over yourself.
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u/zerogee616 22d ago
It wouldn't be Reddit without "well-akctyually" insufferable pedantry and contrarianism to make yourself think you're smarter than everyone else
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u/Electronic-Chef-5487 22d ago
It was said at ours, we just used a boilerplate speech suggested by the officiant and didn't bother taking that part out (covid elopement, if it had been a wedding with guests we probably would have personalized it more.) I thought someone had said that it was legally necessary but I could have been confused, either way I knew our two witnesses weren't going to cause shit so meh. (I'm in Canada, laws could be different here too.)
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u/Hieremias 22d ago
I'm in Canada too, it is definitely not a legal requirement. There are no legal requirements about the ceremony--you don't even need a ceremony at all. You just need someone with a marriage license and two witnesses to sign a paper.
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u/[deleted] 22d ago edited 22d ago
Nowadays, I've heard couples will often ask people to either say it in private way before the wedding date or not to do it at all. It can essentially ruin the big moment.
Edit: I should clarify this is just the reasoning I've heard from others who had weddings
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u/Unlucky-Pomegranate3 22d ago
I believe it’s because a traditional part of the marriage ceremony is to encourage the community (guests) to support the marriage of the young couple. Giving them a chance to object establishes a vested interest.
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u/Hrnghekth 22d ago
I'm pretty sure this only happens in movies and TV but if there are real answers I definitely want to read through them.
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u/BlueGem79 22d ago
I just go to weddings for the cheap thrill of it and say "objection your honor" and leave.
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u/Millsy419 22d ago
Used to be that if someone objected you legally couldn't marry that day. I imagine you'd have quite the lynch mob if that was still the case.
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u/The_sad_zebra 22d ago
Still that way in some jurisdictions.
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u/Millsy419 22d ago
I know when my sister and Brother-in-law got married it was. I had to explain to my one dickhead friend what would happen if he did that at their wedding. When I got married a few years later it wasn't anymore.
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u/Alive_Mixture8255 22d ago
Shrek wanted to marry the princess because short markiplier didn’t run across the globe for her
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u/[deleted] 22d ago
[deleted]
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u/blathers_enthusiast 22d ago
Yeah
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u/[deleted] 22d ago
[deleted]
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u/blathers_enthusiast 22d ago
What happened?
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u/Eri_Misora-Fujoshi 22d ago
My mother herself would have made it at her wedding... Just because the guy asked if she's being forced to it. "Yeah, my mother want me to marry this man that looks like a rat in order to me and my family immigrate to a better county."
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u/Dandalfini 22d ago
I have no objection, but I have not yet kissed the bride. It is a custom, and my royal right!
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u/thoselusciouslips 22d ago
Fun fact: wedding banns would have served the purpose of getting objections out prior to the ceremony but are less common now.
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u/Freedumless 22d ago
Brent Faiyaz once said "Darling, I don't wish you well When you ain't with me, I want you crying" and I stand by it.
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u/ganggang242 22d ago
If anyone says anything other then because im a selfish asshole they are a liar......except the kind being abused, hes a fuckin boss!
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u/48pieces 22d ago
Not me, but I once went to a wedding where the groom's grandmother vehemently protested to the wedding because she thought her grandson was her long-dead husband, marrying someone else. She has dementia, and in her defense the groom really does bare a strong resemblance to his grandfather.