r/GlobalTalk Malaysia 23d ago

[Question] Do women in your country change their last name for marriage? Question

29 Upvotes

33

u/Lazzen Mexico 23d ago

No, which confused me a lot as if USA citizens were all siblings.

In Mexico and other Spanish descended countries people have 2 surnames/lastnames, one from the mother and one from the father that are then passed down towards their child.

11

u/whoisfourthwall Malaysia 22d ago

No, which confused me a lot as if USA citizens were all siblings.

Sweet home ala...

3

u/floating-point- usa 22d ago

I mean, I was told we are all the children of sweet Lady Liberty šŸ—½
Oh wait, thats not helping…

9

u/mandarasa 23d ago

If you have two surnames, do you only give one to your child? How do you decide which one?

12

u/Lazzen Mexico 23d ago

Usually the male one or first one is passed down, so you would get the one from your mom that she got from her dad. In Mexico there really isn't a legal limitation to have a baby with the last name order inverted or such , it's just that it's very weird to do so.

For kids without one parent they usually repeat the lastname, so for example gomez gomez.

Old money families are mainly the ones to have hyphenated last names so they keep their "lineage" or wathever, aa of now i can only think of Jesus Silva-Herzog Flores.

9

u/Tinie_Snipah Aotearoa 23d ago

A child's full surname will be their father's paternal surname and then their mother's paternal surname.

Like this

You, your partner, and your children will almost always have different surnames. You'll normally only share your surname with your siblings, and that's it (unless there is a coincidental sharing of surnames in the family)

6

u/mandarasa 23d ago

Is it possible to give your child your maternal surname? Would that be highly unusual?

2

u/CalaveritaDeStevia 21d ago

It is possible, but really unusual. It's gaining more popularity nowadays, especially with people with problems with a parent or partner.

For example, my mother's last name is Ab Bc, and my dad's is Cd De.

My brother (technically half brother)'s last name is Ab Bc, since his father didn't take care of him at all, but mine is Cd Ab.

I usually use my maternal last name anyway, since it's easier to remember for English speakers and kinda slaps more.

15

u/Moving_around_slowly 22d ago

I'm from Quebec, Canada and it is actually illegal for a woman to take her husband's name in marriage in this province. It's kind of weird if you ask me. They should be allowed to do whatever they want.

14

u/Tatem1961 Japan 22d ago

In most cases yes. It's legally required that a married couple have the same family name, and usually it's the wife who changes it. Sometimes the husband will take the wife's family name, usually when they are marrying into the family to takeover a business or craft.

6

u/DCChilling610 22d ago

Wow didn’t realize it was a law in Japan. Here in the US it’s just cultural norms ā€œenforcingā€ this.

1

u/aokaga Colombia 15d ago

Can the family decide on a brand new surname for both? What if you don't change it? Is that law actually enforceable?

14

u/themadbelgian 22d ago

In Belgium, women don't change their name. They can be called Misses "Husband's last name" but their legal name doesn't change.

4

u/whoisfourthwall Malaysia 22d ago

Huh just like over here

always find it very weird that you have to literally change your name for marriage

20

u/tojan00 23d ago

Finland: Traditionally yes. Sometimes some use doubles like husband's last name is Doe and wives is Smith, they'll use Doe-Smith (or Smith-Doe). Also not unheard of, that the husband takes the wives last name. Sometimes they just don't change the last names at all.

All in all, marriages are going out of style I think.

3

u/SS__Essess 22d ago

And it is also possible to come up with a new surname for both upon marriage. I know a couple who did that.

2

u/whoisfourthwall Malaysia 22d ago

When the husband takes the wife's name, is it usually because he is marrying some old money ppl?

6

u/tojan00 22d ago

Multiple reasons, but that can be one. One is a protected old family name as well, some don't want their original, etc.

2

u/whoisfourthwall Malaysia 22d ago

oh! you guys have protected old family name! Kewl!

1

u/AdPsychological1582 22d ago

Same in the case of the most religious countries( 'cause maybe they are closer to tradition) of EU as in Christian Orthodox countries like Romania or Greece.

6

u/floating-point- usa 22d ago edited 22d ago

In the US, women traditionally (Anglo-tradition) would lose their maiden name and take the last name of their husband. Today however, each couple decides on their married names. I have 3 sisters and they all did something different when they got married. One went the traditional route, one hyphenated (both husband and wife changed their names to the hyphenated version), and one kept her maiden name as a 'secondary last name' - so [first name] [middle name] [secondary last name] [primary last name] and then she is referred as [first name] [primary last name].

ā€˜Double-barreled names’ (Spanish-tradition) are also super common here.

PS: Another thing we do here is to revive a family surname (often maternal) as a first name for your child. So names like Riley, Shannon, Murphy, Kelly, Connell etc are all common first names here that originated as European last names. I’m not sure if our cousins across the pond do this.

4

u/Sovdark 22d ago

I know in my case, and a few women I know, I did not change my name at all. My husband and I both have different last names. I know for couples planning to have kids that would make things very difficult though

4

u/Wild_Marker Argentina 22d ago

Yes and no. It's kind of an old thing these days I think but it was tradition to have a "last name of laste name". So like if miss Juana Fernandez marries Mr JosƩ Smith, she would be "Juana Fernandez de Smith". Guy would still be Smith though, it's only a thing for women.

I'm not sociable enough to know how many people still do that. I know some women like to just keep their name these days.

1

u/Christabel1991 22d ago

So basically The Handmade's Tale, but with last names?

1

u/Wild_Marker Argentina 22d ago

I wouldn't know, I haven't watched it.

1

u/Christabel1991 22d ago

It's also a book šŸ˜‰

5

u/Artess It's complicated 22d ago

In Russia and Ukraine it's customary but not mandatory, so some choose to keep their surname, though it's pretty uncommon. Even more rare is for the husband to take the wife's last name, but also possible.

Bonus fact: everyone also has a patronymic, which is their father's name with a special suffix. But while it is the father's name by default, as an adult you can legally change it to whatever you want as long as it fits grammatically.

7

u/thinkadrian Sweden šŸ‡øšŸ‡Ŗ 23d ago

Often, but sometimes not - leading to children with dual surnames - and sometimes the man changes their surname instead.

The dual surnames also occurs because all couples don’t get married either. You get plenty of extra rights just for registering that you live together.

2

u/whoisfourthwall Malaysia 22d ago

Children here usually take the father's family name but the women don't change their last names.

Depending on race/ethnicity as well

for indians or malays it is usually "son of" for their "surnames"

for chinese it is the family name

i mentioned the three races because they are a huge chunk of the country with the malays being about 65-75 % depending on who you ask

1

u/YuviManBro 3d ago

That’s a Tamil thing not an Indian thing btw

3

u/Affectionate-Job-398 22d ago

In Israel women change their last name (as I'm sure someone wrote) but the religious last name of people in Judaism is simply "son/ daughter of their father's first name" so you could say that technically Judaism doesn't change women's last name after marriage.

2

u/Christabel1991 22d ago

Also from Israel, and you can make Judaism sound enlightened all you want, but the reality is that no one cares about religious last names since it's not your legal name. Jews have been using traditional non-religious last names for centuries, maybe even millennia. Most women here change their names to their husband's.

1

u/Affectionate-Job-398 22d ago

When someone either gets an Aliya to the Torah/ Reads the Torah, he/ she (orthodox "equal" minyans) uses their religious last name. When someone names someone for people to learn and pray for, they use their religious name. In the religious world, religious names are still a thing that is often heard. Not day to day, but still, be in a yeshiva for a week, and you'll hear religious names a lot.

2

u/Christabel1991 22d ago

Judaism is not unique to Israel, and not all Israelis are Jews.

1

u/Affectionate-Job-398 22d ago

The majority of jews worldwide live in Israel

2

u/HiHungryImDad2 22d ago

In Germany it’s most of the time that the wife takes over the name of the man, but it can also be vice-versa. Also, it’s possible to have both names as a wife. If the Wife’s last name is Smith and the man’s last name is Miller, she can name herself Smith-Miller.

1

u/Chel_of_the_sea SF Bay Area, United States 22d ago

US: Variable. Some women do, some don't. Hyphenated last names (e.g. Smith + Jones becomes Smith-Jones) are fairly common as well.