r/HermanCainAward
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u/bloody_hell
Prey for the Lab🐀s
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Jan 10 '22
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He slept best knowing he’d offended every liberal on the internet. His meme collection was truly outstanding. He stopped posting on December 7 and died of COVID on December 28. Awarded
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u/Superddone20222
Team Pfizer
Jan 10 '22
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How i sleep at night knowing you died from your own stupidity.
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u/diemos09 Team Moderna Jan 10 '22 •
It used to be that people were just incidentally stupid, now they've made stupid their identity.
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u/DrinkBlueGoo 🎈🥳He my have sepsis🎂🎈 Jan 10 '22
Is that the "identity politics" I hear them talking about all the time?
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u/Shady_Garden Go Give One Jan 10 '22
It's funny how "identity politics" in their minds is anyone who is not a straight, white, right wing Christian male advocating for their own interests. They are the biggest identity-politics practitioners of all.
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u/perfectlyaligned Team Pfizer Jan 10 '22
Yep. And the people frothing at the mouth about wanting to protect MuH ReLiGiOuS FrEeDuMs are the very same ones wanting to turn this country into a theocracy so they’ll be allowed force their religious beliefs on others, First Amendment be damned.
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u/Fit_Coyote_7117 Jan 10 '22
How dare you try to impose anything on me when I was trying to impose tyranny on you! /s
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u/Nyssa_aquatica Present Company Excluded Jan 10 '22
I can’t wait until they start fighting each other over which version of the Bible to teach.
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u/perfectlyaligned Team Pfizer Jan 10 '22
In the end, any version will do, seeing as how they’re experts at cherry picking the fuck out of the verses to takeaway what they want to hear/read.
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u/ryan101 Jan 10 '22
They are all so threatened by an enemy they perceive as so weak they can laugh at them.
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u/ADarwinAward Team Pfizer Jan 10 '22
He seemed like such a nice man.
/s
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u/Der_Auditor Team Mudblood 🩸 Jan 10 '22
Shirt of his Back
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u/evilJaze Jan 10 '22
Would go out of his way to help anyone (that looked like him and voted for trump).
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u/Haskap_2010 ✨ A twinkle in a Chinese bat's eye ✨ Jan 10 '22
No mention of that in his death notice. No fond reminiscing of what a wonderful guy he was and how he'd "do anything for anybody". So I guess he was an a-hole off the internet as well.
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u/publiclandlover Jan 10 '22
If his immune system didn't do the job it was designed to do clearly it was God sending him to eternity and not his own decisions. /s
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u/RedSoxStormTrooper Jan 10 '22 •
He'll never get to tell his daughter about his immune system!
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u/monstersandlanguages Jan 10 '22 •
The "I have an immune system!" thing annoys me more and more because these people have never considered things like, "what if my immune system conks out on me?", or, "what if it's not sufficient for this virus?" Or even, "what does 'I have an immune system' entail? Am I going to be puking like the Exorcist or pissing blood or?"
"Do I want to feel like extra shit while my immune system is trying to do its thing?" Anybody who's experienced an immune system that malfunctioned or needed extra help to win a fight knows how bad the process sucks. Anything that can help you out before it gets to that point is very much welcome.
I mean, I understood the people who held off a couple months when the vaxx first came out. It's not a super new technology, but not ubiquitous. It wasn't 100% unreasonable to watch what happened to the braver people.
In retrospect, I can almost understand anti-masking the first couple months into the pandemic. Know that meme showing the different masks like for paint, radiation, etc, and then the cloth/surgical mask? It does make you think, and your thoughts should have lead you to do a little more Googling about masks. (And yes, I know N95 masks are the gold standard, not others. I'm going off the meme.) From there, you see the data. Maybe it's not as perfect as you'd like, but it's there and every bit helps.
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u/danjouswoodenhand Jan 10 '22
Do they think immune systems just showed up in the past hundred years or so? People during the 1918 flu - obviously they lacked immune systems. People who died of infections prior to the discovery of antibiotics - no immune systems? People who died of the numerous plagues, diphtheria, scarlet fever - none of the people who died had immune systems?
Oh well, I guess history really isn't their forte.
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u/Vegetable_Salad86 Xena, prayer warrior princess Jan 10 '22
This is what happens when you use the education system to casually imply that a certain group of people are just inherently smarter, stronger, and better at things than everyone else and that’s why things are the way they are.
These people think they don’t drop dead from measles or polio because all those weak people died before them after passing on the best of their DNA instead of, you know, the well-established vaccination programs.
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u/LtGovDanPatrick Jan 10 '22
Everyone knows President Eisenhower (a Republican) invented the immune system during his second term in office in 1957. And it has been wildly successful since then. Stop spreading misinformation.
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u/deucemagnet Jan 10 '22
It's even more annoying when one considers that vaccines work by teaching your immune system how to respond to a pathogen. "I have an immune system!", yeah, so do we, but ours know how to deal with the novel corona virus and yours doesn't.
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u/SoleSurvivur01 Team Mix & Match Jan 10 '22
Or what if I have auto immune disorder that I don’t know about?
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u/Two22Sheds Jan 10 '22
Auto immune you say? That must mean I'm 'automatically immune' thanks to my god given immune systems, right?
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u/NephMoreau 💉Beam Me Up Pfizer🧬 Jan 10 '22
They don’t even understand what it means, they think if I change my diet my immune system will magically stop trying to kill me!
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u/DevilsTrigonometry Jan 10 '22
That's actually quite unlikely to be a problem; the immune systems of people with undiagnosed autoimmune disorders generally work just fine against external threats. (If anything, they're a bit more aggressive than average.) The main reason autoimmune disorders are a risk factor for severe illness is that they're treated with immunosuppressants and immunomodulators.
You're much more likely to run into trouble with undiagnosed cardiovascular or metabolic disorders.
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u/chaoticnormal Jan 10 '22
On your point about knowing how the immune system works: did they never take Nyquil for that bad head cold? Did they never take antibiotics for an ear infection, strep throat, or whatever other reason? Whatever the reasoning for masks has been thoroughly shown by scientists and normies. I recall that one short video of the girl w asthma testing each type of mask while wearing a pulse ox meter with no decline on oxygen for any type.
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u/monstersandlanguages Jan 10 '22
Alas, I doubt they think that far. If they did, there'd only be a handful of posts to this sub per week.
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u/EquationsApparel Jan 10 '22
Just a reminder that Ed O'Neill is a proud Democrat who campaigns for Democratic candidates.
Many of these actors who people think would be conservative because of the characters they play - Ed O'Neill, Carroll O'Connor, Sam Elliott - are liberals.
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u/stonecruzJ Jan 10 '22
I know- ❤️ the Sam Elliot ones especially- He’s from Portland OR I’m sure he’s not happy with these low-brows using his face.
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u/EquationsApparel Jan 10 '22
He's closer to Eagleton Ron from Parks & Recreation than how Trumpists portray him in memes.
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u/Ammolite-Valkyrie 👪 The family that FA together, FO together Jan 10 '22
He was amazing in that role and Nick Offerman played opposite him so very well. I howled laughing.
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u/Infynis Ivermectin is a Molecule Jan 10 '22
Nick Offerman is also not the character they see him as. He's even done a music video with They Might be Giants, a notoriously left band that are now selling masks with the name of one of their albums on them: Science is Real
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u/Prize_Huckleberry_79 Jan 10 '22
Ha, just watched that episode a couple nights ago....Nick Offerman is also more like Eagleton Ron than the Ron Swanson Character in real life....
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u/Penny_girl Jan 10 '22
And people who post Carol O’Conner memes crack me up. Archie Bunker wasn’t the good guy. He wasn’t a bad guy, but he was old, stuck in his ways, and unable deal with the world changing around him. We were supposed to be laughing at him.
Posting that ish is a really fast way to tell someone has no ability to think deeper than the first nanometer of surface.
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u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Jan 10 '22
IRL Carroll O'Conner was a kind man, nothing at all like the gruff character he played.
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u/Rfalcon13 Jan 10 '22
And all these guys who think they are so tough and masculine (or that needing to follow these anti-vaccine conspiracies, etc. makes one so), Ed O’Neil is a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu black belt (which probably does not mean much to most people, but is a remarkable feat).
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u/EquationsApparel Jan 10 '22
And he was a defensive lineman who was drafted by the Pittsburgh Steelers.
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u/immersemeinnature Jan 10 '22
Yes! I have seen something about his training for that. Most impressive!
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u/JoviAMP Team Mix & Match Jan 10 '22
Jimmy Buffett too. He gave a shout out to Barack and Joe in "a lot to drink about" and played a fundraiser with Paul McCartney for Hillary's campaign in 2016.
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u/charlotte-ent Chose...Wisely Jan 10 '22
It gives me great pleasure to know that my bigoted brothers favorite musicians are liberal as hell... Jimmy Buffett and Phil Collins.
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u/JoviAMP Team Mix & Match Jan 10 '22
I could understand why someone would think Jimmy might be conservative based on his southern country music connections but Phil Collins?
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u/charlotte-ent Chose...Wisely Jan 10 '22
I don't think my brother thinks Phil is conservative, I just know that he loves his music. I often wonder how my brother can sing those lyrics and then turn around and do the things he does. Every time I hear "another day in paradise" I wonder if my brother skips that track, or if he sings along and realizes just how hypocritical he is.
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u/SirJohnSmythe Team Mix & Match Jan 10 '22
When even conservatives don't want to post Tim Allen memes... 🤣
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u/SaltyBarDog 5Goy Space Command Jan 10 '22
Where are the Chachi, Skid Rock, and Ted Nutless memes?
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u/bogatabeav Jan 10 '22
Don't forget SORBOOOOOOOOO!
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u/tripwyre83 Jan 10 '22
Rofl Sorbo is such a perfect celebrity for conservatives. Nobody's ever heard of him and he's dumber than hell. His twitter be like:
"Storm the capitol. Murder people. Betray your country. We conservatives will be heard!"
30 seconds later...
"Antifa stormed the Capitol. Not us."
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u/lankist Jan 10 '22 edited Jan 10 '22
Funfact: Tim Allen was convicted of smuggling massive amounts of cocaine into the US, at a time where mandatory minimums should have netted him a life sentence, and the only reason he didn't waste away in prison is because he ratted out his friends and the state gave him a slap on the wrist. You don't even have to say "allegedly" about it. He was straight up convicted.
So the next time you hear him regurgitating right-wing talking points like family values, or secure borders, or personal responsibility, or "tough on crime," just remember: cocaine smuggler.
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u/ArTiyme Jan 10 '22
Tim Allen is one of the people I want to meet just so I can ask him what it feels like to be a pandering hack.
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u/RedfishBluefish2222 Jan 10 '22
They also love to use the Jim Halpert chalkboard meme whenever they think they found something clever. I'd be so upset if I were John Krasinski and my face was used over and over to push some big lie.
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u/jag986 🙏You pray for your thing, I'll pray for mine🙏 🩸 Jan 10 '22
Ed O’Neal has a better relationship with and shows more support to every person in his fake family than any of these losers ever had with their real one.
Look at Christina’s immediate reaction to him surprising her on set. https://youtu.be/oVygOBHV3HY
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u/Pavlock Jan 10 '22
Hooo, boy, did some of those memes age poorly.
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u/NMB4Christmas Everybody's an ass kicker, until they get their ass kicked Jan 10 '22
So did he. So did he.
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u/ConfidenceNational37 🦇 Scratch Fever Jan 10 '22
Liberals keep getting older, but I stay the same age! -antivaxxer
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u/Der_genealogist HCA's HR Department Jan 10 '22
Zero worries about lack of retirement funds and dying old.
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u/RainDependent Jan 10 '22
I wonder if he had time to focus on how wrong he got it all before he expired?
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u/Beachbabydarragh DeathSantis is Florida's comorbidity Jan 10 '22
I always hoping that these guys somehow change the minds of their family and friends when they die needlessly, but it's probably false hope.
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u/ConfidenceNational37 🦇 Scratch Fever Jan 10 '22
Foreshadowing
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u/TransRachael Team Moderna Jan 10 '22
He probably died thinking his medical team was a bunch of librul commies who killed him because they wouldn't treat him with massive doses of ivermectin and Viagra. So f__ing sad.
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u/indifferentunicorn
Tickle Me ECMO
Jan 10 '22
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How did you survive the coronavirus Dad?
I didn't.
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u/AlarmingConsequence Go Give One Jan 10 '22
I want to say something nice about this guy...
Flips through slides
Ummm... Well, at least there is no evidence that he was a bad speller.
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u/keepsmiling1326 Jan 10 '22
Slide 3 did not age well at all.
I’ll fix it: child’s response, “f’n idiot”
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u/mynameismulan Team Pfizer Jan 10 '22
Yeah that one was a big yikes there. My man was too confident in the horse paste.
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u/barnorth Jan 10 '22 edited Jan 10 '22
He is right though, he definitely will be getting better sleeps than me
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u/buttstuft Jan 10 '22 •
Q: Who sleeps in a button down shirt?
A: People dressed by morticians.
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u/Eggsegret CEO of Prayer Warriors, Inc.. Jan 10 '22
He'll never have to worry about his sleep being interrupted ever again.
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Jan 10 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Frenchticklers Jan 10 '22
He'll end up in conservative hell, where there's a diverse bunch of commu-liberals BLM protesting on his lawn and there's nothing he can do to trigger them.
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u/Jim_Macdonald Bet you won't share! Jan 10 '22 edited Jan 10 '22
I was in high school when he was born.
Now I can wake up and smell the coffee ... and he can't.
I'm vaxxed, and he isn't.
Coincidence?
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u/Chris_P_Pickel 🌿Fully Vaxxed & Herbally Waxed🕯️ Jan 10 '22
Damn... there goes another fucking legend
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u/Vernerator 💉💉>🧟♀️🧟♂️ Jan 10 '22
I’m sleeping better knowing ignorance is dying out one way or another. That’s how sad his life was. First, NO ONE is offended by his posts, just smh. And then he feels better THINKING he’s offended people. PS I’ll sleep great tonight too.
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u/EquationsApparel Jan 10 '22
Like Dan Bongino, who proudly stated he wakes up each day thinking about how to own the libs.
It's a party based on Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
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u/DocPeacock Is Jesus oozing from your pores or are you just happy to see me? Jan 10 '22
They ran out of actual ideas long ago. Opposition to progress is the only way to differentiate themselves.
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u/qubert_lover Jan 10 '22
So he admits the liberals are living rent free in his head?
I hated everything that Trump did but I didn’t wake up everyday thinking how I could own them (*) but rather thought how can I make things better.
(*) well except for designing the ‘rona with the Chi-coms as I was getting paid by Soros to do that.
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u/asuhdah Jan 10 '22
Gotta credit him those memes were original, I’d gotten bored of the “call us the pure bloods” and all the rest of the stale old ones. Good job mate!
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u/CerberusTamen Jan 10 '22
Some of them were even very decent puns, just in service of misinformation.
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u/high5fiver Jan 10 '22
Agreed, I quite liked the "everlasting jobstopper" one.
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u/CerberusTamen Jan 10 '22
Me too, and it wasn't a terrible Photoshop job either. The right is slowly learning how to meme. Hopefully they will also get better at empathy and logic.
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u/Codeshark Jan 10 '22
I think it is mechanically impossible for them to get better with empathy and logic since an empathetic and logical person wouldn't be conservative. I think it is possible to do one or the other.
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u/CerberusTamen Jan 10 '22
I remember when I was young my dad told me that old trope: "if you're not a liberal when you're young you don't have a heart. If you're not a conservative when you're old you don't have a brain."
Maybe that was true once, but the older I get the more I realize that conservatism in this country is just fundamentally terrible. It's replaced contemplation with dogma, logic with word games, empathy with classist apologetics.
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u/Bloody_sock_puppet Jan 10 '22
The everlasting job-stopper was good. I think we've probably already all worked enough this century given the improvements in automation and the rest should be paid out of taxed wealth, but it was a good meme.
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u/guestpass127 Jan 10 '22
It’s sad and amazing that someone can be clever enough to come up with a great pun, but use it in the service of evil
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u/No_Cook2983 Jan 10 '22
Here’s one I’ve been hoping to see: [OUR JOB ISN’T TO WAKE UP THE PATRICKS. OUR JOB IS TO WAKE UP THE OTHER SPONGEBOBS!! ]
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u/Chris_P_Pickel 🌿Fully Vaxxed & Herbally Waxed🕯️ Jan 10 '22
you haven't been here long, have you?
You'll be tired of these soon enough
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u/BiggusDickus- Jan 10 '22
They never get old to me, kind of like the people that won't get vaccinated.
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u/James19991 Jan 10 '22
How I sleep at night knowing you can't vote anymore or fill Facebook with nonsense.
SMH stupidity kills
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u/ReligionIsTheMatrix
Jan 10 '22
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Ah, Monday morning on HCA. Bring out your dead [clank] Bring out your dead [clank]
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u/One_Idea_239 Can I Have Better 5G Than My 📱? Jan 10 '22
The everlasting jobstopper is a new one for me
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u/Theobat Vaxxed to the Max! Jan 10 '22
I don’t understand what they think Fauci has to gain…
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u/One_Idea_239 Can I Have Better 5G Than My 📱? Jan 10 '22
My feeling is that the word "think" isn't appropriate
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u/Theobat Vaxxed to the Max! Jan 10 '22
Fair enough. I don’t understand what they believe Fauci has to gain.
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u/phabphour20 Bearish on At-Risk Children Jan 10 '22
Someone is getting rich from this, right? And it can't be Candeath or Fucker Carlson or Don Vongina, right?
Gotta be Fauci.
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u/phabphour20 Bearish on At-Risk Children Jan 10 '22
He's clearly been playing the long con. Waited until he was in his 80s to unleash Coronavirus on the world so he could spend a lot of time on TV and get excoriated in right wing media circles?
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u/KrissyBean Ivermectin is a molecule ⚛️ Jan 10 '22
It's the same people who think that the hospitals somehow profit off of killing patients. Like.... what?
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u/PlagueDoctorMars Jan 10 '22
Or that "they" are hiding the cure for cancer in order to make more money by treating it.
Because it's not like the maker of the cure for cancer would make ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD, right? No, they must be hiding it.
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u/VMackolov
America's Flatline Doctors - avoid the jab, with our NaOCl 💉
Jan 10 '22
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Some days I have to sit back with a beer and reddit and see how idiotic some people are. Then take a deep breath and continue to live my life
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u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Jan 10 '22
Wow. It's almost like ranting about your freedom is not how your immune system works.
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u/JoviAMP Team Mix & Match Jan 10 '22
That "how did you survive, dad" meme really aged like cottage cheese.
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u/Spitzspot Jan 10 '22
Self checkout through the express lane, 20 items or less. Now serving 836,001
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u/kungblue Triggered🚵⚡⚡ Updoots Jan 10 '22
They think we see their memes before they are sick and or die.
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u/RainDependent Jan 10 '22
The irony is we see the memes after they've died, only reinforcing how stupid and pathetic they all are!
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u/leamanc Jan 10 '22
That’s the problem with conservaturds. They think their totally false misinformation is somehow an opinion they are entitled to.
No liberals lost sleep over your alternate facts, but you lost your life.
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u/portablebiscuit Paradise by the ECMO Lights Jan 10 '22
Imagine if your whole political identity is just trying to piss off over half your countrymen.
Fucking sad.
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u/PlagueDoctorMars Jan 10 '22
I have a confession. When gay marriage was legalized, I only half wanted it to happen because of human rights and such. The other was to piss off religious conservatives.
I know that's petty and I'm not proud of it. It wasn't the main reason, just...a happy side effect of what I was going to do anyway :p
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u/eastoak961 Jan 10 '22
The saddest thing about it, most of these people get like zero engagement, interaction or views on the garbage they share. At best, it is just a circle jerk with the same people sharing and liking each other's spam.
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u/Smells_like_SaoPaolo Ecce Homo Heterologues Jan 10 '22
Award winning performance by a fucking legend.
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u/Nuthetes Team Mudblood 🩸 Jan 10 '22
Slide 18 - The actually believe themselves to be "free thinkers" despite the fact they believe any ludicrous nonsense as long as its dressed up in "Old Glory".
I'm sure they'd drink horse semen if Candeath Owens told them to do so.
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u/wholewheatscythe Jan 10 '22
To them “free thinking” = putting your fingers in your ears and going LALALALAICANTHEARYOU whenever they receive a message they don’t like or understand.
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u/LogikD Jan 10 '22
I think I get it now. For conservatives “do your own research” means confirm your bias on the internet. They literally don’t understand what actual research is and that google is not involved.
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Jan 10 '22
Well, "Google" can be involved but it needs to be in combination with "Scholar"
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u/sctwinmom Vacation Matriarch Jan 10 '22
Google is fine so long as you are finding/reading stuff from peer reviewed journals.
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u/FuriousTarts Jan 10 '22
That's why you use Google Scholar. You don't find too many peer-reviewed studies on regular Google.
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u/BijouWilliams Jan 10 '22
And you have the background knowledge to understand them and interpret them correctly.
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u/PlagueDoctorMars Jan 10 '22
Almost all of these people come from a very well entrenched group that does not understand science and distrusts the educated.
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u/stonecruzJ Jan 10 '22
And now I sleep well at night- feeling totally owned after reading about your poor decision and the outcome. Know why? 1) I’m vaxxed 2) that pillow in the first pic is cheap, lumpy 🗑
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u/MC_Fap_Commander 🦆 Jan 10 '22
Slide 11: He didn't just WTF his way through life. He WTF'd his way to death, too!
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u/moeru_gumi Team Moderna Jan 10 '22
At this point i just flip through the first 18 slides.
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u/Ammolite-Valkyrie 👪 The family that FA together, FO together Jan 10 '22
I like to go through them to gauge how big of an idiot was involved along with the often checkmarks of misogynist, racist, homophobe, transphobe, anti-intellectual, alternative-medicine, Qron, etc. Let's me gauge if I feel bad at the announcement or a lil gleeful.
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u/eclucero1981 Jan 10 '22
Oh look, a middle-aged white guy with a greying goatee who posted ironic memes died of COVID-19. Haven’t seen that one before.
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u/feminist1946 Patriots are Vaccinated Jan 10 '22
Are those Oakleys hanging off his shirt? I can see his goatee.
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u/TheFloozie99 Knower of Everything Jan 10 '22
Oh gee, he died. I feel so owned. I’m wavering between Eggs Benedict with Canadian bacon, and scrambled eggs and ham and toast spread with lemon curd.
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u/v9Pv Jan 10 '22
These are the same types of people that wanked hard for years about the awesomeness of the “patriot act”.
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u/bradreputation Jan 10 '22
I know people like this aren’t smart, but the fact that Facebook makes a fuck load off people engaging with this content is the crime of the century that no one talks about.
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u/indifferentunicorn Tickle Me ECMO Jan 10 '22
Meh, who needs to live for another 20 or 30 years?
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u/AntEmotional5704 Blood Donor 🩸 Jan 10 '22
think of all the money he saved on 30 years worth of food alone
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u/you_cant_pause_toast Jan 10 '22
Wait this says he died from COMPLICATIONS of COVID, not COVID itself!!
/s
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u/No1Mystery Jan 10 '22
Passing away at 50 because free shots are liberal and keeping people alive is liberal and science is liberal and doctors are liberal.
All of us still alive feel so owned
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u/powabiatch
Jan 10 '22
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I’ve been on Facebook searching these profiles a lot and I can tell you there is a disturbing number of people who truly believe that unvaccinated people are dying at a similar or even slower rate than vaccinated, instead of 10 times more which is the real number. There truly is a danger in people doing their own research if they don’t know what constitutes a good source.
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u/quiltsohard Jan 10 '22
The fart analogy always gets me. It’s like they don’t understand smells aren’t contagious. Sometimes I’ll start my crockpot in the morning. When I get home I can smell my delicious dinner from outside my front door. Guess I’m full now…cause if I can smell it, it’s definitely inside me /s
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u/Hilarious_Haplogroup Jan 10 '22
Another dead wage-slave with thirty years of payments into Medicare and Social Security and zero years out of it.
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u/RevRagnarok Go Give One Jan 10 '22
LOL - "freethinker":
A person who has formed his or her opinions using reason and rational enquiry; somebody who has rejected dogma, especially with regard to religion.
There's no way these prayer warriors / thumpers are atheist...
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u/floandthemash Team Pfizer Jan 10 '22
ArTiFiCIaL nURsInG ShORtaGe
Tell that to us who are getting our asses kicked on every shift 🖕🏻
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u/Petrodono Jan 10 '22 •
There are those V for Vendetta memes again. The right really should watch that movie more closely.