r/HermanCainAward
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u/bloody_hell
Prey for the Lab🐀s
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Jan 25 '22
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He chose... poorly. He and his friends fully believed God was in the process of healing his lungs. He couldn’t wait to share his testimony. He died a few days ago. Choose well. Get vaccinated. Awarded
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u/wagesofben Population Dense-ity Jan 25 '22
if these people doubt science and medicine but trust god, why do they go to the hospital? just go to church instead.
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u/PoutineSmash Jan 25 '22
hypocrites. god is roasting his ass right now
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u/meemojeemo Jan 25 '22
Did these people ever think that god gave them the amazing people who developed a safe and effective vaccine? And if not….why not?!?
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u/crazyprsn Jan 25 '22
It just doesn't fit their small-minded narrative.
When they're able to stand before their god and ask, "why didn't you save me?", said god will likely respond, "there's a vaccine, yeah?"
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u/stay_fr0sty Jan 25 '22
Vaccines are from the devil because some are made from stem cells. Also from the devil: Beatles music, pre-marital sex, video games, gays, movies, books, astronomy, iPhones, paintings of the Saints, alcohol, drugs, non-Christians, tattoos…(all of these things get called Satanic)
Racism is from God, slavery is from God, hatred of gays is from God, guns are from God, greed is from God (Joel Osteen), prayers are a gift from God.
Crazy how people use God to validate their hate.
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u/IJustLoggedInToSay- Team Mix & Match Jan 25 '22
I love the part where she said her daughter, a nurse, sat her down and explained everything, but she was too stupid to understand any of it so the only thing she took away from the conversation is "God's Grace is wonderful!"
And then, she accuses the entire medical establishment (including her daughter!) of conspiracy to ... diagnose people with covid for money or something?
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u/stay_fr0sty Jan 25 '22
God let the Holocaust happen, let’s kids die from cancer, allows kids to get raped by priests and pastors in his name…but somehow they think he’s going to save a hateful guy that is leading other people to their death?
How self-centered can they be?
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u/oneplusetoipi Jan 25 '22
"I am currently praying for God's unlimited energy for healing me and others!"
Is it
A. God ran out of energy, or
B. God ignored the prayers
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u/MC_Fap_Commander 🦆 Jan 25 '22
For the one millionth time... if you believe hospitals are evil, DO NOT GO TO THEM.
Save the beds for the people who actually want and value medical treatment by professionals.
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u/boiledRender COVID is no joke! Jan 25 '22
Make a meme, that’s the only way to communicate with these people.
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u/RedPlaidPierogies ✨ VAXX ME AMADEUS ✨ Jan 25 '22 edited Jan 25 '22 •
With the cute inappropriate Facebook background with laughing Bitmoji, balloons and cake.
😍♥️😂 Stay out of the hospital y'all lol 🥳🤗❤️🎉
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u/MC_Fap_Commander 🦆 Jan 25 '22
Some Minions too... maybe Sam Elliott and an old time-y western font.
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u/fourmica 😈 Satan's li'l helper 😈 Jan 25 '22
With some shaming and improperly used apostrophes... "Only liberal's go to hospitals... my healing comes from the LORD" over a picture of an open bible.
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u/BridgetheDivide Jan 25 '22
Soooo they're saying God is too weak to defeat corrupt doctors lol. Add it to the list with iron chariots I guess
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u/punchheribthetit Jan 25 '22
Pretty sure god is still sorting through all those thoughts and prayers that keep coming in every time a mass shooting happens. Once he finally makes children immune to bullets he’ll get right on fixing these people’s lungs.
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u/Asleep-Scratch3366 Jan 25 '22 edited Jan 25 '22
God's not weak. His followers just lack faith. Remember Jesus said the faith of just a mustard seed could move a mountain. I have yet to see a prayer ever move a mountain or regrow an amputee 's limb.
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u/modrup Jan 25 '22
I think a good part of the problem for these people is not getting to hospital soon enough. Like waiting till your blood oxygen is in the 70s basically says cytokine storm has probably already arrived and its probably too late. You get that brief period of feeling better, just time for one last meme then the next thing is collecting your award.
Treatment has improved but virtually all the treatments are much more effective if started early.
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u/MC_Fap_Commander 🦆 Jan 25 '22
virtually all the treatments are much more effective if started early
I.E. when they're in the "I tested positive, COVID is not real, my memes are my science, go Team Jesus" phase. By the time they're in the "holy shit" phase, it's too late.
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u/modrup Jan 25 '22
It probably takes a while to come to terms with the realisation that you aren't one of gods chosen.
If prayer works it will work at any time. I've yet to see any double blind studies on how effective it is though.
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u/MC_Fap_Commander 🦆 Jan 25 '22
Also pretty hard to grapple with the fact that MAYBE I've been believing bullshit and will die for it. They have tons of bravado right to the end... but I guarantee they're thinking about it.
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u/Lord_Mormont J&J One-And-Done Jan 25 '22
Hospitals...AKA Satan's Playground.
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u/Tall-Cardiologist754 Partying with Anthrax 🎸, NOT with COVID-19 🦠 Jan 25 '22
You’d think I would have more fun working at a hospital! But no. . . 😆
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u/Lord_Mormont J&J One-And-Done Jan 25 '22
That's what makes it Hell...insurance forms and hospital administrators
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u/FlashbackUniverse Jan 25 '22
This.
Why don't they go to their church if they are so convinced god is gonna heal them?
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u/MudLOA Jan 25 '22
This is why all those anti-vax preachers are full of shit. They know their “prayers power” are useless.
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u/Blutarg Trilateral Freemason Jan 25 '22
And/or if God is your healer, stay out of hospitals. He is everywhere, right?
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u/user_unknowns_skag Jan 25 '22
"Where 2 or 3 or more are gathered in my name, there also shall I be," after all...
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u/Blutarg Trilateral Freemason Jan 25 '22
So gather elsewhere. Some of us want a hospital bed, not an incantation.
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u/DutchEngineer83 Jan 25 '22
This this this! Nobody wants these assholes there!!! Why would you go to a “quack” - stay home! Lay in the couch and stuff yourself with ivermectin!
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u/AntEmotional5704 Blood Donor 🩸 Jan 25 '22
his friend on the last slide takes the guys death as an opportunity to add more propaganda to the pile. what a POS. HCA in the future for him?
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u/FlamesNero Jan 25 '22
Oh God, that last slide initially filled me with hope (about how this could have been averted)…until I read the batshit conspiracy about medical professionals “prostituting” themselves. SMDH
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u/meemojeemo Jan 25 '22
It really was a “you had me in the first half, not gonna lie!” …in the worst way possible
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u/Mahleezah Startled by the sunrise Jan 25 '22
With all those little pockets, he had Cargo Lungs™.
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u/InanetV Jan 25 '22
If only there was some magical substance that would have prevented him from getting really sick in the first place.
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u/wyldwood512 Jan 25 '22
The blood of jebus?
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u/InanetV Jan 25 '22
Adrenochrome /s
Lol, originally forgot the /s can never be too careful
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u/Darkside531 Team Moderna Jan 25 '22
That conspiracy absolutely sent me because that was more or less the plot of the Children of Earth miniseries.
If you're going to rip off Torchwood for your ridiculous theories, at least pick good Torchwood.
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u/TenaciousJP every day is Leg Day for Jesus Jan 25 '22
Goddamn Hillary, always taking the adrenochrome from the true patriots that need it...
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u/amarandagasi Covid is not a joke: it's a noun. Jan 25 '22
Slide 1 did NOT age well, did it? You know what else didn’t age well…? 🪦
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u/ToniBee63 White Jesus is my Homeboy Jan 25 '22
That took a quick turn. God was seriously healing him & he was getting stronger. Did god go on vacay & forget he was in the middle of this dudes recovery??
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u/captorofsin79 Jan 25 '22
Who knew that "God's" unlimited energies were, in fact, limited? Her Facebook Prayer Brigade fell short too. Awww, shucks.
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u/stonecruzJ Jan 25 '22
Maybe they forgot to assemble their Facebook prayer warriors- they think God likes that. Maybe He is just sick of these covidiots… I know I am!
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u/Prestigious_Treat401 Team Pfizer Jan 25 '22 edited Jan 25 '22
God got bored, moved on to something more interesting
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u/QbertsRube Jan 25 '22
The prayer warriors were in full force, summoning Jesus's most powerful heal spells. Then, this guy posted about how much better he was doing, so the prayer warriors averted their focus to the NFL playoffs. Jesus was busy casting his Almighty Fumble spell right when this guy needed him most. And now he has his angle wings. Amen.
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u/Vernerator 💉💉>🧟♀️🧟♂️ Jan 25 '22
He chose….poorly.
His “testimony” is powerful. How many of his friends will listen? And the last slide “friend” didn’t learn a thing 🙄
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u/Aromatic-Management5 Jan 25 '22
Love the Law & Order Party telling us "The law is not a moral compass."
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u/dottydip Jan 25 '22
Lung pockets actually sound pretty handy!
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u/Upper-Essay2459 ✌️Prayer Pacifist✌️ Jan 25 '22
“Nice lungs!” “Thanks, they have pockets!”
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u/MayflyBaggins Natasha Fatale 🐿️💖 Jan 25 '22
"What has it got in its pocketses?"
Sorry, couldn't resist. I'll be over here.
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u/Dependent-Winner-908 Team Pfizer Jan 25 '22
Here’s a novel idea for you antivaxxers:
Stay the fuck out of medical facilities. Live your truth. Treat yourselves at home with your miracle horse paste and vitamins. Just stay the fuck away.
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u/Wysiwyg777 Antivaxxers urn their freedom Jan 25 '22
and they must drink their urine while at home.
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u/Whiskey_Robber Jan 25 '22
Invoking holocaust memes ✅ Praying the covid away ✅ False statistics ✅ Memes of your “enemies” out of context ✅ Usual bullshit about “choice” and “freedom” ✅ Inevitable death is hospitals fault ✅ Checking out early due to no vaccine ✅
This story perfectly illustrates the typical HCA winner. Wish this wasn’t so common.
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u/kgooch 💉 Oxygenated lab rat 🐀 Jan 25 '22
Gotta admit, the last slide posted by the friend almost had me, thinking this guy had an intelligent friend. And then I read the article they agreed with.
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u/IsNowReallyTheTime 🦆 Jan 25 '22
Oh god
Oh Jesus
Why no shot stupid?
Praise god
I love the jebus
God is good
They’re oblivious. Fucking sheep to slaughter.
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u/M4PP0 Jan 25 '22
Another example of the strong correlation between being deeply religious and deeply incapable of critical thinking.
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u/ElectronGuru Team Mix & Match Jan 25 '22
I got some serious will of landrew Star Trek vibes from their interaction. Chilling
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u/JohnVanVenker Jan 25 '22
If everything is god's will, do we have the free choice this antivaxxers bleat on endlessly about?
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Jan 25 '22
These folks are all Calvinists to the point of nihilism until the bill comes due. Then suddenly they're dyed-in-the-wool Armenians who think they can bully God into doing what they want.
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u/JohnVanVenker Jan 25 '22
"Bullying" is right. I love the very specific prayers these anti-vaxxers order up. "Please send your healing light to Bubba's left lung and get me a really good deal on a used blue Chevy Explorer."
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u/Stunticonsfan GoFundHisPoorDecision 👎🥴 Jan 25 '22
Exactly. That's when they talk about "storming the gates of heaven", "besieging heaven with our prayers", "pounding on heaven's doors" and so on. Then again, since loudness and violence achieves something for them on earth...
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u/ssadie68 If I die I die - He died 💀 Jan 25 '22
In the Upanishads they call God The Lord of Love… These “Christian’s” think of their God as some sort of mean daddy that they have to beg to heal them- and throw fits so he will listen to them- if we all beg at the same time he will have to listen!!
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u/JoyousMN Ba Ba Motherfucker 🐑 Jan 25 '22
Did you see the conditions in that Australian internment camp??? They have to travel around in golf cars!
These people are just flipping insane.
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u/LucindaMorgan Jan 25 '22
Back in October 2020 my friend went from California to Canada to visit her daughter. My friend had to stay in a government trailer for 14 days before she could be let loose into Canada. I suppose she was in a Canadian internment camp.
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u/I_FLY_757 Team Moderna Jan 25 '22
Choose well?
You need to practice what you preach, brother.
Oops too late.
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u/bothsidesofthestory Jan 25 '22
Tell the guy in the last slide it’s the quacks promoting ivermectin. The studies so far show it doesn’t work. Why do they push it so hard? My dad thinks ivermectin will save him and he’s severely obese and has heart disease. I told him it gives him a false sense of security. He told me yesterday, without evidence, that the vaccines cause DNA damage and cancer 😔
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u/Sharkteeth127 Jan 25 '22
My dad thinks ivermectin will save him
Ask your father why a gigantic, for-profit pharma corporation does not advertise Ivermectin if it had any, *any* positive effect in the treatment of COVID?
Not only does this gigantic, very much for-profit corporation not sing the praise of Ivermectin from the roof tops, they actually published a blurb telling everyone and their dogs thatit just fucking doesn't work on COVID.
Now, bothsidesofthestory's father, concentrate: why would a gigantic, world-wide, very much for-profit pharma corporation like Merck squander the chance to make gabazillions, of dollars in profit, worldwide, with a working medication against COVID during a pandemic?
Perhaps.because.it.doesn't.work?
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u/Stunticonsfan GoFundHisPoorDecision 👎🥴 Jan 25 '22
I can't wait to share my testimony with you
You are a beautiful lady
Heh. I'll bet he couldn't wait to "share his testimony" with her.
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u/Fomulouscrunch Blood Donor 🩸 Jan 25 '22
Can someone translate what "a fine servant leader" is supposed to mean?
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u/natare_modo_pergite Jan 25 '22 edited Jan 25 '22
Evangelical for 'at least this person can fake being a decent human being while in some mid-level position of authority in their church hierarchy'
Jesus is supposed to be the ultimate 'servant leader' and they're trying to make a big deal out of their christian leadership style being 'servant leadership' instead of being instituted by regular people, therefore better and automatically not toxic or abusive because Jesus.
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u/paxwax2018 Jan 25 '22
It’s out in corporate as well, like when they give you the bosses responsibilities but not the extra time, pay or authority.
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u/Material-Profit5923 Magnetic Deep State Sheep Jan 25 '22
Servant to God.
Leader to man.
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u/VMackolov America's Flatline Doctors - avoid the jab, with our NaOCl 💉 Jan 25 '22
Every blue / light blue slide is him slapping himself in the face with everything he didn't want to believe. It was like his subconscious was trying to show him his destiny, yet he chose to continue his mission to die.
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u/External_Employ_1365 Jan 25 '22 edited Jan 25 '22
You are spot on, I would just like to provide an example to emphasize your point.
Slide 10: ”You need people in your life to ask the questions you’re afraid to ask in order to expose the truth you’re unwilling to accept.”
Slide 13: Friend- What’s the problem?
HCA- CoVid. But I’m praying for God’s healing and getting stronger and better. Please pray.
Friend- Why didn’t you get your shots, my wife and I both got all three Pfizer shots.
HCA- (No response)
Friend- (sends prayer emojis)
HCA - Thank Jesus for your prayers!
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u/Chris_P_Pickel 🌿Fully Vaxxed & Herbally Waxed🕯️ Jan 25 '22
From Tennessee to Tennessaw - Just Like That!
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u/BigDumbMoronToo Prayer Warrior? I hardly know her! Jan 25 '22
This shit about hospitals getting "bonuses" for COVID and ventilation. Do these fuckwits not understand that putting people on ventilators costs the hospital money?? The labor, the drugs, the PPE. Turns out paralytic medications aren't free! And neither are the 6 people it takes to flip your comorbid ass from back to front and front to back again. Why did I even ask, of course they don't understand.
Anyway, if any of you out there run into someone claiming hospitals are getting "$39,000 for putting people on ventilators," you could try saying "Oh, really? Wow! Hey, how much does it cost the hospital to keep a patient on a ventilator per day? And how many days are people on ventilators?"
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u/undeniablybuddha I'm too Vaxxy for my shirt Jan 25 '22
Who knew that advanced life support would cost more?
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u/Goose_o7 I am The TOOTH FAIRY! Jan 25 '22
WOW! You guys prayed your asses off, yet COVID still took out your friend anyway.
You boast about the "so-called" 99% that recover, when you should have been worried about the "so-called" 1% who don't... Including your DEAD FRIEND!
Nice job MORONS! Nice job!
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u/RedPlaidPierogies ✨ VAXX ME AMADEUS ✨ Jan 25 '22
His "testimony"? Like, a story about how miraculous it was that he recovered from a virus with a checks notes 99% survival rate? (Which he didn't) If you're trying to convince me of something, it has to be better than "I crossed the street at the crosswalk and didn't get hit by a car."
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u/feminist1946 Patriots are Vaccinated Jan 25 '22
What a shame. He was so excited about being able to get up and share god's success at healing his little lung pockets. How important he would have felt that day, and how admired he would have been. Too bad he didn't read all those platitudes himself and choose prevention over cure.
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u/mistertickertape Jan 25 '22
Anyone who throws out the "99% of people will recover with their own immune system!!!" needs to be reminded that that still leave 1% who won't which is 3.3 million people in the US alone.
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u/FopFillyFoneBone Jan 25 '22
Them: 1 in 292,000,000 chance of winning Powerball? I'M GONNA WIN!!!!
Also them: 1 in 100 chance of dying from COVID? NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!
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u/Might_Aware ✨Typo Mary🍒 Jan 25 '22
"Don't forget he died of libsheep propaganda!" Yeesh.
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u/Captainwelfare2 🇺🇦🌻Putin’s on the Fritz?🌻🇺🇦 Jan 25 '22
Btw can I now get 🌎🐑The Sheep Shall Inherit the Earth🐑🌎 flair mighty?
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u/Captainwelfare2 🇺🇦🌻Putin’s on the Fritz?🌻🇺🇦 Jan 25 '22
Omg i love your LOTR flair
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u/Might_Aware ✨Typo Mary🍒 Jan 25 '22
Thank you! I thought of it two days ago lol. I am keeping this one dammit lol. It delights me, I keep saying it in John Rhys Davies' voice
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u/lousylakers Their new hoax is get the vaccine, I did Jan 25 '22 edited Jan 25 '22
The person in the 2nd message slide: Why didn’t you get your three shots? Our award winner: NO REPLY AT ALL
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u/jrbowling1997 Jan 25 '22
Drives me bonkers when people say our freedom is being taken away!!! Excuses... be thankful you live in a good century or the United States at least.
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u/JoyousMN Ba Ba Motherfucker 🐑 Jan 25 '22
I know. Drives me crazy too. You noticed they never say exactly which freedom I have lost by becoming vaccinated.
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u/WilsonPhillips6789 Team Pfizer Jan 25 '22
I do concur w the Prayer Warriors' echo chamber...God is indeed awesome.
Why y'all blatantly choose to ignore God's awesomeness in granting the human race with brilliant epidemiologists with awesome amounts of knowledge of how to best navigate this pandemic...and awesome ability to leverage previous technology to develop an extremely effective vaccine at breakneck speed...why y'all blatantly choose to ignore this is beyond me.
But, a few points' improvement in oxygen saturation because of prayer? Oh, yes -- in THAT case, God is super extra awesome...
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u/Hereforit1983 Jan 25 '22
Wtf is with these yanks claiming these camps in Australia? The only camps have been for returning travellers who cannot afford the 14 day hotel quarantine.
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u/Laureatezoi 🩸The Blood of Jesus Is Not FDA Approved🩸 Jan 25 '22
The vast majority of these idiots who "refuse to be controlled" are over the top religious nutbags. Christianity in general and the Evangelical flavor in particular are all about obedience and submission to God/Jesus. So why are these people who HAVE to have a stern father figure telling them to behave or else so pissy about health officials/the government enforcing rules for public safety?
Rightwing Authoritarians are weird.
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u/lefthandedbot 🐑Marked like a Beast🐑 Jan 25 '22
They give Fauci so much shit for masks, but I’ll tell you this, I haven’t gotten one woman pregnant as long as I’ve been wearing mine. MASKS WORK!
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u/toosca It’s been a roller coaster Jan 25 '22
What’s the bet his daughter, the nurse, was trying to persuade him to get vaccinated, and then had the unenviable job of coming in to explain to him just how grim the prognosis was? A long road indeed.
But at least he got pockets!
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u/kiki6kiki6 Jan 25 '22
Of course the hospital would get bonus payments for treating COVID patients. Mechanical ventilation is a specialty that is extremely expensive, for both the machines and the professionals that operate them. Treatment in an ICU is extremely expensive for the same reason. It’s not a conspiracy, it’s simply reality.
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u/Estoye Team Moderna Jan 25 '22
Why didn't you get your shots, my wife and I both got all 3-Pfizer shots ?
Zero replies
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u/TrustmeImaConsultant Jan 25 '22
He wanted destiny, but his density kept him from finding it.
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u/MauveDragon Jan 25 '22
In that last slide, the blurb about the CARES act fails to mention that it was passed by Republicans and signed by Trump. (I had to check because if what is claimed is true, then it is more Republican chicanery. Assholes did this to fellow assholes.)
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u/Legitimate_Object_58 Team Pfizer Jan 25 '22
Why sure, Boomer. Perfectly reasonable to take medical advice from...uh.........."commonsenseevaluation" dot com.
Jesus.
I bet this guy's computer is chock full of malware, too.
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u/FloppyTwatWaffle Team Mix & Match Jan 25 '22
Religion should be classified as a disease.
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u/peppermintesse Vax yo self FFS 💉 Jan 25 '22
That last slide, WTF??