r/HermanCainAward 💰1 billion dollars GoFundMe💰 Aug 06 '22 Silver 2 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Wholesome 1

Cluster from Florida, loved Trump, God, and the GOP. He was FOXnewsed, hated the vaccine, leading to the release from his earthly shackles. Awarded

3.8k Upvotes

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u/FreeResponsibility42 Aug 06 '22 Take My Energy

Gee wiz, I remember when they used to treat viruses with vaccines for things like polio, measles and small pox... and this amazing thing happened... people stopped dying from them..... ah the good old days.

441

u/HelenAngel Team Pfizer Aug 06 '22

Now measles is on the rise & polio has returned. Anti-vaxxers are murderers.

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u/Raucous_Indignation Donut Cabal 🍩 With 5G, No Nuts - Verified HCW Aug 06 '22 edited Aug 06 '22

That polio case in NY is in a member of a rabidly anti-vax, extreme right wing family.

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u/b0lfa Aug 06 '22

Speaking of rabies, I wonder how anti-vax feel about rabies vaccines if they get bitten by a rabid animal. Maybe they trust their body to handle that one too.

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u/WolfieFett Aug 06 '22

There are now a few rabies deaths happening in the USA again after years of none. So that should answer your question

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u/malkamau Aug 06 '22

This! There are articles to back this up too! So sad and senseless.

102

u/onepinksheep Aug 06 '22

If there's any death by disease you do not want, it's rabies. The thing has an almost 100% fatality rate if untreated, and the death itself is incredibly painful and horrible. If rabies ever somehow becomes airborne, consider yourself in the end times.

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u/A-man-of-mystery Covidious Albion Aug 06 '22

Once symptoms become apparent rabies is almost always fatal even if you are treated. Only 14 people are known to have survived symptomatic rabies. Fortunately there is usually enough time to get vaccinated after being bitten, but once symptoms become apparent it's too late. And it is an agonising death.

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u/trilauram Aug 06 '22

I saw a video of a man in India suffering the effects of rabies. Gawd it was horrible and will haunt me. The poor man suffered terribly. Anti Vaxxers are about to F around and find out with all these nasty diseases coming back.

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u/A-man-of-mystery Covidious Albion Aug 06 '22

That poor man. Rabies is undoubtedly one of the worst ways to die. It's frankly terrifying.

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u/DrSomniferum Aug 06 '22

Yeah if I knew it could be coming, I'd probably eat a bullet as soon as the symptoms started. You're dead anyways, and there's not a single way you could off yourself that would be less pleasant than letting it run its course.

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u/A-man-of-mystery Covidious Albion Aug 06 '22

I'm sure that, gven the choice between death by rabies and death by suicide, most people who know anything about rabies would choose suicide. Rabies is a truly horrific way to die.

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u/beek7419 Aug 06 '22

If there's any death by disease you do not want, it's rabies. The thing has an almost 100% fatality rate if untreated, and the death itself is incredibly painful and horrible.

I hear Ivermectin can help with that. /s

20

u/flavius_lacivious Aug 06 '22

We need a law for automatic compassionate euthanasia for rabies. Cannot be contested or delayed by anyone other than the patient.

41

u/mmikke Aug 06 '22

Rabies has always been a sort of irrational fear for me.

And now I'm lucky enough to live in a state that has never had a single recorded rabies case! Was a pain in the ass to get the pets cleared to move here, but absolutely worth it

42

u/lucymx16 Team Mudblood 🩸 Aug 06 '22

Not irrational to fear rabies, totally rational.

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u/mmikke Aug 06 '22

Fair. I spose it was just incredibly rare in my home state

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u/bionic_cmdo Aug 06 '22

We have an immune system, chicken soup, Jesus, and prayer warriors and Fox news on our side. /s

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u/tandooripoodle Aug 06 '22

“I’m a lion not a sheep!”

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u/True_Recommendation9 Prey for the Lab🐀s Aug 06 '22

I wish the government could take their guns and bibles!

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u/iTinker2000 Aug 06 '22

I hope they do indeed chose not to seek medical attention. The more of them die off because of their own stupidity the better. I’m so done with these people. Fuck them. Every. Single. One.

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u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 06 '22

This is exactly why I have been rooting for the virus since the beginning. They are bound and determined to destroy society and ruin other people's lives. It's only fair that they get what they wish for everyone else.

10

u/Lopsided_Plane_3319 Aug 06 '22

Except they already have kids and it's left to the state or over burdened family that usually believes the same shit.

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u/Cheapassdad Aug 06 '22

There's a lot of gay couples looking to adopt. Hopefully the change of environment can help a lot of these COVID orphans.

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u/Raucous_Indignation Donut Cabal 🍩 With 5G, No Nuts - Verified HCW Aug 06 '22

People are so fucking stupid, so yes. They would.

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u/MotorCityMade Aug 06 '22

Their brain(s) are already potato mush, as if in the Rabies catatonic state, drooling as they fixedly gaze at the glowing screen of Tucker and Hannity....so the rabid dog bite would be no different.

59

u/DTesedale Aug 06 '22

I read about that recently. IIRC there were 3 rabies deaths in the US last year. One person actually brought in the bat, and the bat tested positive for rabies, but he wouldn't get the vaccine. Died a terrible, preventable death. So stupid.

31

u/ATomatoAmI Aug 06 '22

Why in the name of fuck would ANY idiot do that? Any asshole near a piece of technology from the last 20 years can check that rabies is unsurvivable once it's detectable, and nobody is politicizing that particular vaccine to make the idiots dig in.

10

u/MadBeachLui Ivermectin tuna helper 🦄 Aug 06 '22

Imagine if they created a cure. We have a new shot to save you. It's a miracle of mRNA technology!

No hell no. Put that shit up Brandon's ass!

Rabies: hold my beer

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u/A-man-of-mystery Covidious Albion Aug 06 '22

I remember reading about that. It was an 80 year old man from Lake County, Illinois. Woke up with a bat on his neck; they later found a colony living under his roof.

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u/To_Be_Faiiirrr Aug 06 '22

My wife took our dog to a new groomer in town and had our dogs vaccination record, because everywhere requires a vaccination record….. Except this place.
The woman said she doesn’t believe in vaccines, doesn’t believe in vaccinating herself, her kids, or her dogs and doesn’t require them for dogs to be groomed.

My wife noped right out.

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u/gmplt Echo Chamber Dick Rubbing Party Aug 06 '22

There was an antivaxer in Chicago last year who died of rabies.

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u/Jim_Macdonald Bet you won't share! Aug 06 '22

Picachu is surprised!

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u/coffeespeaking Aug 06 '22

May never walk, but at least they don’t have mild injection site soreness.

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u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 06 '22

Think they still are? How do you explain to your children that you decided it would be fine if they became paralyzed in the name of your beliefs?

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u/Material-Profit5923 Magnetic Deep State Sheep Aug 06 '22

In a rabid anti-vax community.

Luckily for the community, the person didn't manage to come back to the US until after the window of contagion had passed, or we wouldn't be hearing about one case, we'd be hearing about an outbreak.

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u/witteefool Aug 06 '22

Did they confirm that it came from Hasidic Jews? I know there was concern about that, since that community also ignored COVID protocols.

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u/LucindaMorgan Aug 06 '22

And there’s a really good vaccine for shingles. Our sad Awardee was suffering from shingles, so odds are he hadn’t gotten that vaccine either. So fucking sad.

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u/KittenWithaWhip68 Aug 06 '22

Yeah, I’m really broken-hearted about that.

I’ve been putting off getting the Shingles vax due to my doctor saying I will feel horrible for a week after I get each one, but I know people my age who have gotten it and I’ll take a week of feeling shitty over having shingles.

48

u/berberine Aug 06 '22

Everyone reacts differently. I had nothing more than a sore arm. I've had zero reaction other than a sore arm to any vaccine I've taken in my life.

Your doctor is an ass for unreasonably scaring you. Go get your shot. Shingles is nothing to fuck with. Even if you feel ill for a few days, it's better than actually getting shingles and its side effects.

If you're worried about feeling ill, schedule the vax for your last day of your work week and then chill out for two days.

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u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 06 '22

Your doctor is an ass for unreasonably scaring you. Go get your shot. Shingles is nothing to fuck with.

I agree. I'd find another doctor.

9

u/granulario Team Pfizer Aug 06 '22

The nurse that gave me my shingles shot told me that some people wished their arm would fall off from the pain. Like, who says such things to people? She said it almost like she thought it would serve me right, like someone drank all the coffee in the break room, probably, and now it was my fault. I just told her that I was also expecting the flu shot, please, so she had to go look for one, looking none too pleased. She put it on the same arm as the shingles, and guess what? I was fine!

My physical was later at the same office and I find out she hadn't even recorded the flu shot. I had to point to the two band aids on my shoulder as proof. I made sure to make a comment on her horrible bedside manner, while they were correcting my chart.

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u/jeweltea1 Died like a Rotisserie Chicken 🍗🐥🐔 Aug 06 '22

I got the Shingles shot a couple of years ago. Felt bad (tired and just generally bad) for about 24 hours although my arm was sore where they gave the shot for several additional days if I touched it.

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u/lucymx16 Team Mudblood 🩸 Aug 06 '22

Every person’s response to meds/vaxes is different. Shame on your doc for scaring you like that. Me? Sore arm x 24h after each shingles shot. No biggie. YMMV

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u/Rao_Tzu Aug 06 '22

Boomer here, who recently got the shingles vax. It knocked me for 24 hours, but was much less painful than the first (and only) shingles attack I had about five years ago. Just do it.

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u/no12chere Aug 06 '22

3 full days sucked for me. But I do not ever want shingles as I have seen a lot of people suffer. Headache swollen lymph and body aches for 3 days is worth it.

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u/Legitimate_Object_58 Team Pfizer Aug 06 '22

I felt bad for a couple of days after each shot and I got a welt at the injection site that was the diameter of an orange — but I would 100% do it again to avoid another case of shingles.

My case of shingles was very mild, but I was only 49 at the time and I know that you can keep getting it over and over again. At a minimum, it shingles is extremely unpleasant and the blisters hang around for a long time (about 2 weeks, in my case).

Since January 2021, I have had 5 Covid shots, 2 shingles shots, and one flu shot. In other words, the Bill Gates microchip lottery pay dirt!

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u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 06 '22

I got my first dose of a shingles vaccine, my annual flu shot and a covid booster all at once. The next day felt a bit like a hangover without nausea or a headache. That's it. It was not debilitating, unlike all the diseases I was preventing.

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u/FellOffaChair Aug 06 '22

The less well-known political offshoot: Make America Vaccinated Again

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u/l156a21 Aug 06 '22

NOOOOO! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! THAT'S COMMUNISM!

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u/minderwiesen Aug 06 '22

Pepperidge Farms remembers.

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u/MakesCakesEatsMud Ivermectin for breakfast Aug 06 '22 edited Aug 06 '22

Nobody who calls themselves an apostle ever seems to live a life that resembles the way Jesus would want them to live.

It's like those people who call themselves patriots but don't even have a child's understanding of the constitution.

And both are bat shit crazy.

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u/Rosaluxlux Aug 06 '22

What churches do this? I thought i knew all the flavors of Christian but I've never seen this

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u/mothermucca It’s just a COVID Aug 06 '22

I’m guessing Apostolic churches, which splintered off from the Pentecostals at some point. I don’t know which of the two is crazier, but this is definitely the deep end of the crazy pool.

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u/AutismFlavored Aug 06 '22 edited Aug 06 '22

Mormons. They’ve got a whole Quorum full of Apostles. Not only that they’re also prophets, seers, and revelators, too! Just don’t ask them to prophesy, predict the future, or reveal hidden knowledge. Don’t ask for them healings, exorcisms, or signs either

But Apostle Fruitcake there is probably just another charismatic guy larping with bible words

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u/[deleted] Aug 06 '22 edited Aug 08 '22

[deleted]

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u/A-man-of-mystery Covidious Albion Aug 06 '22

Yeah, these people give fruitcake a bad name.

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u/AutismFlavored Aug 06 '22

I agree with you there. Fruitcake is delicious and I’m tired of pretending it isn’t

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u/WordleMaven Aug 06 '22

Apostle Fruitcake was larping. He larps no more. I pray it was in a swing state.

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u/Stunticonsfan GoFundHisPoorDecision 👎🥴 Aug 06 '22

I once saw a letter from a small fundamentalist church where the pastor had signed his name as "Apostle Carillo, Man of God".

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u/Prestigious_Treat401 Team Pfizer Aug 06 '22

I was thinking how bat shit crazy you have to be to call yourself apostle! What's the point of pretending it's not covid?

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u/SuperDoofusParade Aug 06 '22

I noticed in the second to last image with the “apostle” that four family members have Covid , some are in the hospital, and one is dead. But Covid is made up for reasons.

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u/MasterEyeRoller Team Moderna Aug 06 '22

So you can pretend that he died from a random health issue that could have killed any of us.

Instead of suicide by stupidity.

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u/onepinksheep Aug 06 '22

Any man who must say "I am king an apostle" is no true king apostle.

You can even substitute patriot, etc.

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u/hyldemarv Aug 06 '22

There are many good Clive Barker stories about people who become prophets and apostles.

Angels too. Not exactly the kind you would like to meet, still, they heard your prayers :).

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u/-SmackMyBitchUp- Aug 06 '22

Reformed crackheads make the most stout and honest pastors in the hoods of every city.

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u/mothermucca It’s just a COVID Aug 06 '22

He should have paid attention to that article he posted about the difference between vaccinated and unvaccinated lungs. If he had, he might still be alive.

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u/SignificantName59 Aug 06 '22

I saw that too and was like this dude didn't read the article at all, did he?

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u/mothermucca It’s just a COVID Aug 06 '22

There were several things he posted that he clearly didn’t read and understand, because they were the same ones my vaccinated, safety conscious friends were posting.

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u/pianoflames Team Moderna Aug 06 '22

I feel like that "Madison Cawthorn says door-to-door vaccinations could lead to the confiscation of people's guns and bibles" was supposed to be critical of that ridiculous claim, but it went over this guy's head.

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u/Tiddles_Ultradoom You Will Respect My Immunitah! Aug 06 '22

I’m seeing that quite a lot: really cynical disinformation generators that see a study that says one thing, post a meme-able ‘news’ item that says the complete opposite, guessing that the idiots that repost them only read the headline.

It’s working. We’re fucked.

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u/BernieDharma Aug 06 '22

Got dragged to a huge religious seminar where they were showing magazine covers from Newsweek, Time, National Geographic with headlines saying things similar to "Is Evolution Real?" and claiming that "all these publications agree evolution is a hoax/fake", which is not what any of those articles said at all. But the crowd just applauded and will repeat that BS over and over again without having ever read the articles.

"Religious celebrity said it, so it must be true." Yeah, there's a reason those grfiters refer to their followers as "the flock."

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u/peppermintesse Vax yo self FFS 💉 Aug 06 '22

Magazines/newspapers/etc. reeeeeeeally need to stop putting a question in the headline.

Betteridge's law of headlines is an adage that states: "Any headline that ends in a question mark can be answered by the word no." It is named after Ian Betteridge, a British technology journalist who wrote about it in 2009, although the principle is much older. It is based on the assumption that if the publishers were confident that the answer was yes, they would have presented it as an assertion; by presenting it as a question, they are not accountable for whether it is correct or not. The adage does not apply to questions that are more open-ended than strict yes–no questions.

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u/Tiddles_Ultradoom You Will Respect My Immunitah! Aug 06 '22

Yeah, to sell a magazine, you need to ask questions that attract the audience - Moon Landings: Real or Fake? - but idiots see the headline and draw their own conclusions.

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u/peppermintesse Vax yo self FFS 💉 Aug 06 '22

Yeah, to sell a magazine, you need to ask questions that attract the audience

They really shouldn't. :-/

"Any headline that ends in a question mark can be answered by the word no."

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u/PoliticalECMOChamber Super Shedder Aug 06 '22

There's only three reasons a shepherd had a flock:

  1. To fleece them.
  2. To fuck them.
  3. To slaughter them.
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u/Libflake Aug 06 '22

I must say, I think the little red covid virus alarm clock in slide 12 is awfully cute.

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u/HisXlency Aug 06 '22

He’s low on oxygen, his lungs are filled with fluid, he has all the symptoms BUT ITS NOT COVID! Ok!?’

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u/Yasea Team Mix & Match Aug 06 '22

It's just pneumonia. Take some vitamins C and plenty of rest. It'll be over soon.

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u/SpaceCases__ Aug 06 '22

Dont forget your soup!

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u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 06 '22

Yes! Put your whole head in the soup pot. Keep it there until the pain disappears.

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u/starbetrayer 💰1 billion dollars GoFundMe💰 Aug 06 '22

Thanks for the belly laugh

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u/mothermucca It’s just a COVID Aug 06 '22

I see that Cluster takes grooming tips from Ted Cruz.

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u/mothermucca It’s just a COVID Aug 06 '22

I see that Cluster takes took grooming tips from Ted Cruz.

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u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 06 '22

Looks like he took a permanent Mexican vacation. At least he didn't blame his children, unlike Cruz.

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u/trying_to_adult_here Aug 06 '22

This guy’s chin looks so much like my crazy, right-wing, gun-nut, trump-loving, anti-authoritarian and yet somehow former military former coworker that I had to do a double take. Pretty sure he’s unvaccinated to, although we weren’t Facebook friends and I didn’t ask because I try to remain at least vaguely friendly with coworkers and if I saw what he posted I’d be too tempted to set him on fire, judging from what he said at work.

He’s only a former coworker because I’ve moved in to bigger and better things. I’m not looking back. I’m also vaccinated and boosted.

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u/HelenAngel Team Pfizer Aug 06 '22

If a child of anti-vaxxers gets sick, the parents should be charged with child abuse. If the child dies, they need to be charged with homicide. We need to STOP letting anti-vaxxers continue to murder people.

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u/Astropecorella Aug 06 '22

It's absolutely medical neglect.

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u/KashmirChameleon hydroxychloroQANON Aug 06 '22

Were they out of chicken soup and vitamin c?

Beating stage four cancer? Not likely.

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u/Estoye Team Moderna Aug 06 '22

He spent his last few healthy months feeling persecuted by nonexistent vaccine mandates.

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u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 06 '22

As long as he got to feel persecuted, it's cool.

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u/resjohnny Aug 06 '22

Facebook is cancer.

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u/DissentSociety Aug 06 '22

I like to think he died w a layer of tin foil on underneath that sweet, sweet fedora he's got on in the last pic.

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u/916cycler 🦆Aw Shucky Shucky 🦆 Aug 06 '22

always a thumb with a beard

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u/redditisnowtwitter 🍬🍭👋🍪🎉 Aug 06 '22

Toe Rogan

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u/gitgudds3 Aug 06 '22

Goatee/beard... check.

Overweight white male... check.

The entire family suffers from poor grammar and spelling... check.

Pseudo-Christian... check.

Dead from owning the libs... checkmate.

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u/ICantDoABackflip Aug 06 '22

He’s an angle now.

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u/InsertCoinForCredit Team Pfizer Aug 06 '22

He wasn't very acute.

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u/cribbsjy Aug 06 '22

Believing the antivaxx propaganda is a slippery slope.

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u/pianoflames Team Moderna Aug 06 '22

Everyone around him being hospitalized with COVID while he acts like it's normal and continues to downplay the virus: check

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u/KrampyDoo Crossing the Vent Horizon Aug 06 '22 Wholesome

Slide 6: Good on Yellow for fighting the truly good fight.

Slide 19: JFC these dipshits are juggling funerals and ventilators and hospitals all while trying to continue lying to themselves and getting however many people killed in the process.

And these goddam doinks call themselves “apostles” lol.

Here’s his tombstone probably:

“Here Lies Doink B. Toast he was born whenever and lived and died sloppily on the day of His Lard February somethingth, 2022 maybe but whatever so ok yeah he maaay be dead like thousands of other covid victims that lied to each other but he’s totally not a sheeple SO WAKE UP”

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u/toejamandtoast Team Pfizer Aug 06 '22

I worked multiple COVID assignments for all of 2020 and most of 2021. During the Delta wave we had almost entire extended families hospitalized who were almost exclusively antivax. The first one would get admitted, followed by a couple more, and eventually most/all would be admitted. Some would die, some would go to a facility, some got a trach/PEG tube, and some recovered enough to go home. This happened after July 4th and Labor Day weekends due to family gatherings. Someone brought it and got everyone sick. Imagine being the person who did that to your family even though they were all dumb enough to refuse vaccination. We didn’t allow visitors and usually the only people calling to get updates were the one or two family who did get vaccinated and recovered without needing hospitalized.

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u/KrampyDoo Crossing the Vent Horizon Aug 06 '22

You did a gargantuanly good thing helping those afflicted, and I can’t even imagine what some of the worse interactions were like. I’ve work the elections since 2020 and just the amount I’ve been accused of being a criminal tests my patience, but that’s a drop in the bucket compared to what the medical professionals are still going through.

Hang in there, lots of us are in your corner!!

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u/toejamandtoast Team Pfizer Aug 06 '22

Props to you for working elections… people are fkn crazy and you definitely can be in harm’s way. Bad things happened to some election workers in 2020! Be safe and thank you.

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u/Aazjhee Owned Lib Aug 06 '22

I work under the OR at my hospital and I would be too fed up to work elections even in my very blue county. Thanks for your work, in all honesty!

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u/Jim_Macdonald Bet you won't share! Aug 06 '22

Slide 6:
Boss: Have it your way. You're fired.

Worker: You can't do that!

Boss: This is a Right To Work State. I can, and I just did. Security will escort you from the building.

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u/Boldpoker1085 Aug 06 '22

That’s what’s so ironic, isn’t it. These fools support R’s who pass these RTW policies thinking it will never impact me, because my employer would never do anything negative to ME. Then, ……. Oh Sh$t, my rights.

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u/Jim_Macdonald Bet you won't share! Aug 06 '22

It's no coincidence that the list of states with Right To Work laws and the list of states with lowest family incomes is the same list.

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u/lumberjackname Aug 06 '22

At-will employment sure is a bitch! Too bad he wasn’t in a union.

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u/Sleeplesshelley Flair Envy🧙💡🎭 Aug 06 '22

Why lie about the fact that he has Covid after they had already said he had it? Because by then he was actually dying? Insane.

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u/DesiBwoy Aug 06 '22

Because Ego. RW Lunatics will rather die than proven wrong.

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u/spudzilla Aug 06 '22

I accept their decision-making and claim it to be a good move.

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u/MasterEyeRoller Team Moderna Aug 06 '22

You're a very kind and generous person!

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u/BurmecianSoldierDan Aug 06 '22

God protected him from covid just like he promised, except for the first 5 days where he totally had covid

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u/dfwcouple43sum Aug 06 '22

Sometimes I almost feel bad thinking that Covid is the protagonist in these stories. Then I realize these people are just awful human beings.

I just hope no poor innocent person was infected by this filth

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u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 06 '22

I'm afraid of the diseases I might catch just looking at his skeevey photo.

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u/survivor2bmaybe Aug 06 '22

Posting a joke about president’s day in August. Great comic timing.

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u/TheGoodOldCoder Aug 06 '22 Press F

Slide 8 shows a moronic argument that is central to a lot of anti-vax rhetoric.

Why are so many 'vaccinated' people afraid of 'unvaccinated' people?

We're mostly not afraid. We're mostly angry and frustrated, because the world has a huge problem, the solution exists, and it's right there, and it's free, and you morons still refuse it. Other people are dying because of your choices. Being vaccinated isn't just about keeping yourself healthy. It's your civic duty to help others stay healthy. How fucking selfish are you when it comes to this? Do other people's lives never enter into your calculations? Also, there are breakthrough infections, and unvaccinated people are more likely to infect people. How hard is this to understand?

Do they not believe the shots work?

The shots do work. It doesn't matter whether people believe the shots work. This is why we have science.

If so, why did they take it and why do they want everyone else to take it?

The goal was to use vaccines to reach herd immunity quickly before the virus mutated too much. Now we're all just frustrated that we're still dealing with this 2 years later, partially because some areas of the world couldn't get vaccines, but also partly because of rotten-brained idiots refusing the vaccine.

I'm still trying to understand the phenomenon.

Bullshit. A person who tries to understand things is a person who is trying to learn.

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u/Astropecorella Aug 06 '22

I saw Bill Nye explain it in less than a minute. You nailed it, this dude never asked that question except as a rhetorical gotcha. It got him in the end, though.

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u/KittenWithaWhip68 Aug 06 '22 edited Aug 06 '22

Also the aunt in the hospital with Stage 4 cancer is “winning in Jesus name”? First of all, at least from everything I know, people with stage 4 cancer don’t exactly bounce back. They’re usually in palliative care. And they REALLY can’t make it go away by praying. If I still prayed occasionally and someone I loved dearly was in stage 4 cancer, I’d be praying for them to not suffer in pain too much before they die.

These phony sanctimonious fucks make me want to become a Satanist just out of spite. 👿 I disconnected myself from social media friends because they turned out to be sanctimonious (at best) right-wing fundamentalist loonball batshit assholes (who used the Bible to defend their hateful beliefs like gay people will burn in hell, along with women who ended pregnancy by abortion and ‘murdered babies’). But before I did, I made sure I commented HAIL SATAN! on all their shitty posts. It might have been immature on my part, but it gave me great satisfaction every time.

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u/AgentEntropy Aug 06 '22

Mirror: You look like a lint roller that fell under the couch.

Racist HCA: Perfect health! Post that pic!

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u/RedditOnANapkin Aug 06 '22

All because he was afraid of needles.

26

u/JeromeBiteman Aug 06 '22

And afraid of anyone who's not just like him. Like liberals, educated people, blacks, Jews, gays, and Mexicans.

11

u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 06 '22

"And afraid of anyone who's not just like him. Like liberals, educated people, blacks, Jews, gays, and Mexicans."

Maybe they were all coming at him with syringes?

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u/vsandrei 🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️ Aug 06 '22

All because he was afraid of needles.

More afraid of needles than the teeth and claws of the viral 🐆 🐆 🐆.

Idiot.

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u/Spiderman__jizz Aug 06 '22

The fuck is a prayer warrior lol

20

u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 06 '22

People to lazy to help, to cheap to donate, and too narcissistic not to take credit for "helping".

12

u/MorganaHenry Aug 06 '22

Low-grade grifter

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u/Tiddles_Ultradoom You Will Respect My Immunitah! Aug 06 '22

My grandmother treated measles with chicken soup. Because there wasn’t a vaccine. This was why Uncle Geoff was known as ‘Blind Uncle Geoff’ and why he died of COPD at 35.

20

u/mmps901 Team Pfizer Aug 06 '22

Not covid?

I read that in ruprecht’s voice from dirty rotten scoundrels

10

u/Ibelieveinphysics Rock you like a Herman Cain! Aug 06 '22

Nice. Now I can't unhear it. 😂

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u/MysteriousHat7343 Hermie Hermie Hermie Aug 06 '22

He won’t be celebrating any more Presidents days anymore.

20

u/spudzilla Aug 06 '22

The pool gets cleaner every day.

145

u/DramaticEar6379 Aug 06 '22

Florida Man. Of course.

COVID: Cleaning up the Nation's filth, one asshole at a time.

38

u/HotChickenshit Aug 06 '22

Would using the word "wiping" instead of "cleaning" be too flippant/snarky/juvenile for the otherwise serious message?

21

u/MasterEyeRoller Team Moderna Aug 06 '22

This is the HCA... flippant, snarky, and juvenile are always welcome!

8

u/jeweltea1 Died like a Rotisserie Chicken 🍗🐥🐔 Aug 06 '22

Encouraged even!

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20

u/A-man-of-mystery Covidious Albion Aug 06 '22

"Is it about the virus or is it about control?"

It's about the virus.

17

u/M4A1STAKESAUCE Urine God’s hands 🙌 Aug 06 '22

In the 2 years of supposed "control" I vaccinated and have been to multiple states for weddings, parties, moved, went international, bar hopped, ate out, shopped, etc. Only thing I didn't do was go to the hospital. Oh well.

This fool I'll bet had nothing even remotely worthy to control, lmao he wasn't going anywhere outside the 25 mile radius of his house anyway. What hubris.

11

u/A-man-of-mystery Covidious Albion Aug 06 '22

Similarly, we've shopped, eaten out, visited my father, been to theatres and museums, travelled on a preserved heritage railway, spent a week in Madrid, had my wife's parents and one of our friends to stay, etc. Not life as usual, but not life under house arrest either.

17

u/jimjam721 Aug 06 '22

I love the Maddison Cawthorn quotes now. Lol.

Also: Apostle? Ha ha ha!

101

u/sexycrouton28 Aug 06 '22

“Need a miracle in Jesus name!”

Jesus - “bruh, I gave you scientists that created a vaccine to help”

15

u/RenTheFabulous Aug 06 '22

Ikr.

Ironic, but also sad, that their beliefs ignore what seems like more of a miracle (technology) imo.

13

u/mostly_kittens Aug 06 '22

Reminds me of the story of the flood where god sends a car, a boat, and a helicopter.

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u/ObservationPostWest Aug 06 '22

And it's real

And it won't go away, oh no

Can't get around and I can't run away

I need a miracle every day

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16

u/glantzinggurl Aug 06 '22

regarding shingles, it seems that covid can trigger shingles. I wonder how frequently this happens.

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u/A-man-of-mystery Covidious Albion Aug 06 '22

Anything that suppresses the immune system's ability to maintain routine surveillance could allow shingles to emerge. Research shows an increased risk among people testing positive for covid, and an even bigger risk if they require hospitalisation. Increased risk persists for around six months.

Incidentally, this implies that we might see an increased incidence of cancer in covid survivors in future decades.

https://academic.oup.com/ofid/article/9/5/ofac118/6545460?login=false

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15

u/WTFuckery2020 Aug 06 '22

Why is every single Herman Cain Awardee also a religious zealot? I must know, thank you

20

u/Fun_Ganache3320 Aug 06 '22

With the southern strategy the GOP started appealing to evangelical Christians voters who felt (like they always do) that they were under attack from a “radical left” and encroaching civil rights for Black Americans and women. It was extremely effective. It’s a large part of what helped Nixon and Reagan win the presidency and has been a cornerstone of the American right ever since. More recently, politicians like Trump, Boebert, and MTG have amplified that aspect of republican politics to a point where the issues are entirely made up and the points don’t matter.

12

u/econtrariety Aug 06 '22

Probably the combination of wording that makes them easy to find, and a habit of spreading the gospel that means they tend to try to be vocal about it, which is the requirement for an hca. There are plenty of anti-vaxx people who don't post, and therefore can't win the award.

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u/BJWTech Aug 06 '22

Apostle? I thought they were only in the bible....

15

u/Dogluvr1991 Aug 06 '22

“We were supposed to go to a funeral” ya I bet you’ve been to lots lately

9

u/A-man-of-mystery Covidious Albion Aug 06 '22

We sometimes see people losing multiple friends and family but still not admitting the truth.

45

u/Lilmaggot Aug 06 '22

People still dying up in here? sips pina colada on vacation beach

13

u/RazzleDazolam Aug 06 '22

Totes Jelly

49

u/plsfixhahaha Aug 06 '22

Covid feasted on this fat beetus

32

u/Ok_Homies_ Aug 06 '22

Beetus. It's what viruses crave.

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u/ajhart86 Team Mix & Match Aug 06 '22

Slide 5

"It's sad when we as Americans can't voice our opinions anymore!"

But a sentence later he warns that your comment will be deleted and you'll be blocked if you disagree with him

21

u/TheGoodOldCoder Aug 06 '22 edited Aug 06 '22

Less than five months after saying that, he was literally no longer able to voice his opinions anymore.

16

u/Chosen_Chaos Reverse Vampire 🩸 Aug 06 '22

He says while voicing his opinion very loudly...

"It wasn’t spying, Commander Vimes told himself. Spying was when you crept around peeking in windows. It wasn’t spying when you had to stand back a bit so that you weren’t deafened."

- Terry Pratchett, Jingo

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u/pchandler45 Team Pfizer Aug 06 '22

Dang he went quick

13

u/goodgodling Aug 06 '22

I feel like our attempt to get rid of Trump was pretty half assed before the last 6 months, but our attempt to Lock Her Up, or investigate Bengazi, or pretend that Hawaii isn't part of the U.S. was pretty vigourous.

13

u/bErinGPleNty Because Other People Matter Too Aug 06 '22

Oh well.

12

u/Jim_Macdonald Bet you won't share! Aug 06 '22

Slide 7:

It's about the virus.

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11

u/iTinker2000 Aug 06 '22

Why do they all look like uneducated, overweight, inbred, trailer park trash?

15

u/capchaos Aug 06 '22

Because they are uneducated, overweight, inbred, trailer park trash.

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u/enon2011 Aug 06 '22

years ago, i worked in cambodia for a nonprofit that included as its mission vaccination against polio... and people from remote villages would travel for days to get innoculated. and were grateful as hell.

10

u/Proper-Razzmatazz764 Aug 06 '22

Shingles AND Covid? God's plan for him really sucked.

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u/Jane_the_Quene I hAvE aN iMmUnE sYsTeM Aug 06 '22

I guess the soup, vitamin C, and plenty of rest didn't do the trick? And how could all the thoughts and prayers fail? Oh, well. All God's plan, right?

12

u/Beginning_Ad_6616 Aug 06 '22 edited Aug 06 '22

I know a high level guy at work that was like this and was leveled by COVID. He went from being smart, to being a senile person that can’t think after having it. Probably going to get let go due to a lack of performance…he sure stuck it to Fauci.

8

u/Egmonks Team Mix & Match Aug 06 '22

What’s this apostle weirdness?

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u/redditisnowtwitter 🍬🍭👋🍪🎉 Aug 06 '22

Attention prayer warriors! Your prayers have failed! He's crossed the rainbow bridge to be with Fluffy now

17

u/KittenWithaWhip68 Aug 06 '22

Poor Fluffy.

9

u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 06 '22

I hope Fluffy escapes.

10

u/StupidizeMe It's like, tubular... Bag your face! Aug 06 '22

Hoist by his own petard.

10

u/FattyMooseknuckle Aug 06 '22

WAKE UP, PEOPLE!!! Oh wait, you can’t.

8

u/Cucker_Tarlson_666 Aug 06 '22

On a ventilator for shingles? I've never heard of such a thing. If this dirtier version of Harvey Weinstein did have shingles and covid, that was one horribly painful death.

10

u/rumncokeguy Aug 06 '22

It’s sad that we as AMERICANS CANNOT VOICE OUR OPINIONS ANYMORE. I DONT CARE WHO YOU ARE A FOLLOWER OF BIDEN OR OUR EX-PRESIDENT TRUMP. HERE THIS N HEAR IT GOOD ONE MORE BULLIED RESPONSE TO A POST I SHARE/RESHARED OR POST YOU WILL BE BLOCKED N DELETED.

LOL

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u/IamSherIocked Aug 06 '22

Either he couldn’t draft enough prayer warriors or god doesn’t exist?

13

u/MisterFantastic5 Aug 06 '22

Likely both.

12

u/redditisnowtwitter 🍬🍭👋🍪🎉 Aug 06 '22

I got Covid atm I sure wish I could get some of that prayer power but all I have here is essential oils and a diffuser. Let's hope that's enough

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u/splatdyr Aug 06 '22

Actually his death was a gift from God to the rest of the planet.

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8

u/Lucky-Painting6553 Aug 06 '22

it’s about the virus

8

u/fubsycooter Aug 06 '22

All these ugly mfers.

8

u/CrazyWhammer Living vent free in your head Aug 06 '22

Referring to themselves as Apostle. That’s a new one.

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8

u/Thejoker1978 Aug 06 '22

Rona loves the fat dumb folk

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u/Likherpusisaur Aug 06 '22

I'm telling you, that Neck-Beard of Doom never fails, does it?

8

u/Haploid-life Aug 06 '22

Funny how much he hates illegals, child rapists, etc... but is totally cool with his idol sexually assaulting and raping women. THAT'S A-OK!! Oh, never mind conspiring with the enemy.

8

u/NeonPhyzics Aug 06 '22

I love these morons who want to “bUiLd DuH pIpElInE” - its a pipeline to pump Canadian oil to Mexico….I ran the HR department for a midstream company - there would be maybe 100 technicians in the US needed to service that pipe (and it would mostly be from third parties)

Sure - tear up our land to “build duh pipeline” bro- then you can watch oil pass right by your house on its way to Mexico

7

u/PolesRunningCoach Team Mix & Match Aug 06 '22

No one’s gonna control him now. He showed us libs.

9

u/PopeOfManwichVillage Tickle Me ECMO Aug 06 '22

Guess his bootstraps broke

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u/FistofanAngryGoddess Phenomena Angle Aug 06 '22

Been a while since we’ve had an award. He fits right in with the previous awardees.

8

u/pm_cheesecakes Aug 06 '22

Prayer Warriors: 0

Covid: 6.4 million

20

u/ur_sine_nomine Team Mix & Match Aug 06 '22 edited Aug 06 '22

The mouth is always interesting in these reinforced motorcycle body types. (“Never trust anyone with a bad mouth”, as my mother used to say).

It is almost always either of:

  1. Slack and slightly open, adding to the general dimwitted appearance;

  2. Taut and permanently downturned, with the other facial features drawn towards that configuration.

This is a classic Type 2.

11

u/Relevant_Positive417 Aug 06 '22

Or the look that they just skip washing and upkeep on their beards as if doing that is less manly.

13

u/ur_sine_nomine Team Mix & Match Aug 06 '22

Someone in another thread also made the good point that fat = tough (-looking). I know a couple of that mindset myself.

(And they would have no idea what other issues stemmed from being overweight because they do not visit the GP’s surgery until the situation is dire).

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