r/HermanCainAward 💰1 billion dollars GoFundMe💰 Aug 16 '22 Wholesome 1

Redlube worshiped Trump , and was MAGA all the way. He hated Biden, Demoncrats, etc.... Despite his belief that he would end up in the 99.9 percentile, Delta decided to pay him a visit and he finished as he wished in one of his posts. Awarded

2.2k Upvotes

771

u/Kwiatkowski Aug 16 '22

The white jesus praying emoji takes the cake here

155

u/Fascist_Fries Aug 16 '22

Yeah that reminded me of 90s Transformers graphics

147

u/coocooforcoconut Aug 16 '22

I was thinking Jimmy Neutron Jesus

11

u/Paula_Polestark ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! Aug 16 '22

First thing that sprang to my mind was Donkey Ollie but even worse.

11

u/Retro_Dad Team Bivalent Booster Aug 16 '22

LMAO that's exactly what it is.

→ More replies

110

u/steelhips Aug 16 '22

I bet Trump would be envious of those huge hands. Did JC have some kind of rare giantism in those hands.

25

u/Repulsive-Street-307 Aug 16 '22

Out of copyright characters can be modified whichever way you want. It's how disney shamelessly copi(ed) old fairy tales over and over again. Thankfully they've tried being more original lately. I think it won't last.

40

u/MasterEyeRoller Team Moderna Aug 16 '22

tRump doesn't know JS about JC (js = jack shit).

Hell, the tangerine traitor doesn't even know how to hold a bible.

30

u/TheOtherDutchGuy Aug 16 '22

But….He likes all the verses in it! He said so himself!

16

u/JolietJake1976 Team Mix & Match Aug 16 '22

And his favorite book in the Bible is Two Corinthians.

→ More replies
→ More replies

264

u/covidboosterhaveI 🍖🍑🌳 Aug 16 '22

And that dumbfuck left behind three kids. Instead of spending on porn this worthless fuck shoulda spent on life insurance. Infuriating. White Jesus and the FTBA didn't help, I guess.

110

u/MuuaadDib Quantum Healer Aug 16 '22

That is the sad part, but looking at this guys history he may have done them a favor? Sometimes people make the world better with their absence, and definitely as mentors to children.

16

u/vampirepriestpoison Aug 16 '22

That was a meme, not his actual account.

→ More replies

59

u/Chunkstyle3030 Aug 16 '22

I dunno. “cover us in your precious blood” is some primo cake-takery as well.

32

u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 16 '22

Sounds like a redneck fetish to me.

14

u/RogerClyneIsAGod2 Team Moderna Aug 16 '22

You'd think that GodJesus blood would cover them better. I mean what good is it using God BloodTM if it doesn't work?

And if you're covered by that precious blood why bother with doctors & hospitals at all?

Their God seems pretty weak sauce if ya ask me. And now all I can think of is a bumper sticker that states, "My God Can Beat Up Your God."

48

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

33

u/Kwiatkowski Aug 16 '22

that’s there to be at fault with the stimulus? it barely covered a month of bills for most people, how on earth could that even touch inflation?

29

u/Fenrys_Wulf Aug 16 '22

Because if something was done by a Democrat, they'll find any excuse to tear it apart. Meanwhile, all Republicans are beyond reproach; everything they've ever done is perfect and just.

This is what political discourse in this country has devolved to for these people. It's sickening.

23

u/WintersChild79 💉Vax Mercenary💉 Aug 16 '22

If you listen to the right-wingnut sphere, a few thousand dollars per person not only caused global inflation, but it also allowed millions of people to drop out of the workforce and join the leisure class.

No, I don't know what planet they live on.

→ More replies
→ More replies

29

u/MasterEyeRoller Team Moderna Aug 16 '22

You mean the one with the BLUE eyes?

... Fucking dumbshits!

→ More replies

27

u/Igno-ranter Aug 16 '22

I want to make a joke about the big hands and the Redtube subscription in the stimulus package slide (slide 9). Is that going too far too soon? Lol

→ More replies

16

u/ForsakenDrawer Aug 16 '22

How are there possibly so many of these people, with completely predictable words and actions and aesthetic choices?! They’re like a country within a country.

8

u/HellblazerPrime Aug 16 '22

How are there possibly so many of these people

Not quite as many as there used to be.

→ More replies
→ More replies

190

u/MysteriousHat7343 Hermie Hermie Hermie Aug 16 '22

Had someone come up to the testing site I worked at during the first part of the delta wave showing one of those cards wanted to be tested. Pretty much told to leave after arguing a while and the guy stormed off screaming about suing us and about us restricting his freedoms.

Haven’t seen him back since so hopefully he got tested.

Award winner reminded me of this guy

82

u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 16 '22

Haven’t seen him back since so hopefully he got tested.

He probably got the virus.

→ More replies

32

u/Goose_o7 I am The TOOTH FAIRY! Aug 16 '22

Haven’t seen him back since so hopefully he got tested.

Odds are better that he has taken up permanent residence at the local cemetery.

→ More replies
→ More replies

167

u/SignificantName59 Aug 16 '22

Glad to see them acknowledging the stimulus was under Trump. Can't tell you the number of conservatives I've argued with who insist the covid stimulus is all Biden's fault. It's been a Fox News talking point for a while. "The stimulus and stopping that one leg of the Keystone Pipeline are why inflation."

113

u/vsandrei 🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️ Aug 16 '22

the covid stimulus is all Biden's fault.

That's a load of bullshit.

Under Biden, the American Rescue Plan Act contained $1.9 Trillion in spending.

Under Trump, the CARES Act contained $2.2 Trillion, followed by two more bills containing $484 Billion and $900 Billion for a combined total of $3.584 Trillion, nearly twice as much as COVID-19 spending under Biden.

And none of this accounts for the trillions of dollars pumped into financial markets by Jerome Powell at the Federal Reserve, most of which went to large corporations and well-off individuals and households who could access credit through the banking system.

82

u/thoroughbredca Team Mix & Match Aug 16 '22

They blame Biden for the increase in crime that happened in 2020 under Trump.

55

u/vsandrei 🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️ Aug 16 '22

They blame Biden for the increase in crime that happened in 2020 under Trump.

Tough to blame Biden for the events of January 6, 2021. That was entirely on Trump.

40

u/liontamarin Aug 16 '22

But they do.

21

u/peppermintesse Vax yo self FFS 💉 Aug 16 '22

"He was taking office after stealing the election, so of course it was his fault"—some MAGA chud, probably

22

u/KittenWithaWhip68 Aug 16 '22

Fuck those people!

22

u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 16 '22

And fuck their feelings.

→ More replies

34

u/SignificantName59 Aug 16 '22

Not to mention we had no major infrastructure or other investments for the dollar to strengthen itself against and had massive tax cuts so it dug us into a hole that biden, to his credit, is helping to drag us out of. But yeah if you turn on Fox you'd believe all stimulus spending was Biden's brain child and not something that Trump and Republicans also pushed for.

But then again, we both know these people don't live in reality.

Still, I wish I could screen grab more social media praises by conservatives of Trump's stimulus to combat that nonsensical talking point

→ More replies

10

u/crisco8 Team Mix & Match Aug 16 '22

Nothing like listening to all of your conservative co-workers and family members railing against socialism, and then watching them buy new houses, cars, boats, motorcycles, guns, etc. because they got a PPP loan for their sole proprietorship lawn care “business.”

7

u/vsandrei 🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️ Aug 16 '22

Nothing like listening to all of your conservative co-workers and family members railing against socialism, and then watching them buy new houses, cars, boats, motorcycles, guns, etc. because they got a PPP loan for their sole proprietorship lawn care “business.”

The irony is that many sole proprietorships that could not get PPP were also denied for EIDL and the cash advances. Then, those businesses failed.

Even worse, many of those conservatives are still grumbling that "everyone is lazy" and "nobody wants to work."

14

u/steelhips Aug 16 '22

I just noticed the spelling mistake in that slide.

11

u/SignificantName59 Aug 16 '22

Maybe the a couldn't find its way out of lockdown lol

→ More replies

332

u/TheCattsMeow Team Pfizer Aug 16 '22

Love the “Face Mask Exemption Card”, misspelling “poses” as “posses.” Looks pretty official to me. Oh, and let’s not forget the threat of being reported to FTBA for further action. This guy was truly a mental giant.

153

u/thoroughbredca Team Mix & Match Aug 16 '22

The Tucker Carlson post too. Tucker for a hot freaking second was pro-vax, and basically did one episode that vaccines are so incredibly great, but (as Tucker's gonna Tuck) there were some discussions of prioritizing them to people who had been hit hardest by the pandemic, including people of color, so Tucker played the "undeserving black people are gonna get them before your white grandmother does", and then quickly pivoted after that to vaccines are poison and going to kill you.

He should have kept with the first one and if Trump supporters thought black people were gonna get the vaccines before they did, they would have lined up to get them instead.

77

u/covidboosterhaveI 🍖🍑🌳 Aug 16 '22

Lol, true. Nothing pisses them off more than thinking The Blacks, The Browns, etc are gonna get something. So yeah, they woulda elbowed themselves to the front of the line. Mercifully, they didn't and had a higher death rate. This one in AZ is one less vote vote for The Q-fucks.

34

u/JolietJake1976 Team Mix & Match Aug 16 '22

This one in AZ is one less vote vote for The Q-fucks.

But don't be surprised if someone in his family tries to cast an absentee ballot in his name.

→ More replies

49

u/Educational_Hawk1236 Aug 16 '22

It’s also before he figured out large numbers of people getting sick and dying under Biden would make Biden look bad. He gleefully threw his own fans into the woodchipper in hopes some of their blood would splatter on Biden

25

u/lisavfr Aug 16 '22

That’s some great imagery. Maybe we could add a link to the wood chipper supplying red dye for USA made MAGA gats?

14

u/Tropic_Anna Livin' in Peach Tree Dish Paradise Aug 16 '22

The lawsuits are still grinding slowly in DeSatanland from when he (Desantis) steered vaccinations to the wealthiest of his supporters.

9

u/WintersChild79 💉Vax Mercenary💉 Aug 16 '22

I wondered what the hell that was about. Elderly people were first in line!

→ More replies

71

u/lousylakers Their new hoax is get the vaccine, I did Aug 16 '22

He missed paying his dues to Freedom to Breath Agency. At least RedTube was a beneficiary!

25

u/energetic-dad Aug 16 '22

$300 to pornhub, what the hell is that even for

21

u/bikebikegoose Aug 16 '22

It looks shopped. Both the pornhub and red tube text are bold, yet everything else in the screenshot has normal text.

16

u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 16 '22

Bad right wing meme, which, like all of them, is not remotely amusing.

25

u/A-man-of-mystery Covidious Albion Aug 16 '22

If the government did set up an agency to regulate breathing these people would be screaming about "government overreach" and what-not. At least until their air ran out.

11

u/Detr22 Aug 16 '22

He's a really tough guy ok?? Even though a piece of cloth on his face causes him significant mental AND physical risk

→ More replies

96

u/lefthandedbot 🐑Marked like a Beast🐑 Aug 16 '22

Not only was the vaccine free but Phoenix had a very efficient vaccination site at State Farm Stadium in Glendale in 2021 that would have got him in and out in about 30 minutes and this dude chose subscription porn and a “fake” virus instead.

103

u/KrampyDoo Crossing the Vent Horizon Aug 16 '22

An only child himself and a father of three. Dead before he was 40.

These stupid stinky doinks jerking off all over Trumptube right up until the moment they’re forced to subscribe to Breathingtube and then end up as a content creator in Gravetube.

They leave behind a legacy of fallacial antimask cards with spelling as poor as the alignment even before they get that “Souvenirs For Dipshits” memento laminated and post it on social media as if it’s not another notch absolutely drilled into their straining belts.

I’m sure he was proud of his bag.

53

u/lousylakers Their new hoax is get the vaccine, I did Aug 16 '22

What a self written legacy he leaves for his children! Let’s hope the wife deletes his idiocy before his kids find out how bad their genes are.

35

u/KrampyDoo Crossing the Vent Horizon Aug 16 '22

Biiiiig time yes.

Can’t imagine the ribbing that would follow his kids to school with shit like “hey aren’t you the one with the dad that told everyone on Facebook how much he loved porn and then died unnecessarily?”

23

u/Glamour_Girl_ Hydrogen 2: Electric Boogaloo ⚡️ Aug 16 '22

He had an ECMO fetish.

And your flair is brill. 😁

8

u/KrampyDoo Crossing the Vent Horizon Aug 16 '22

That is very kind of you thank you! Yours rules schools and I I always always appreciate seeing you around the Reddits!

11

u/Glamour_Girl_ Hydrogen 2: Electric Boogaloo ⚡️ Aug 16 '22

nods

I do my best. Unfortunately I’m often tipsy by that time, but still…. 😂

And flair referencing a black hole can’t go wrong, you know.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

22

u/spaceghost260 Team Moderna Aug 16 '22

Right? His digital legacy is a joke and so embarrassing. Can you imagine missing your dad and wanting to look at his pics/posts on Facebook and instead you find a dumb, small man yelling into the void? Who voluntarily left you as a young child because of how stupid and proud he was? Oh, and he spent $300/month on porn bc he’s dad of the year.

Idiot.

19

u/KrampyDoo Crossing the Vent Horizon Aug 16 '22

Exactly.

The only thing he left them is the ability to gather round the trash fire and be regaled by stories of his epic beer farts and that one time he had to use ranch dressing when he ran outta lotion.

Pretty sure the widow can pick a name out of a hat and end up with an upgrade.

→ More replies
→ More replies

12

u/KittenWithaWhip68 Aug 16 '22 edited Aug 17 '22

I guess he wasn’t being ‘protected’ by praying and being ‘covered with the Lord’s blood’. I know she didn’t mean it literally but it sounds …not pleasant at all.

Edited for punctuation

14

u/KrampyDoo Crossing the Vent Horizon Aug 16 '22

I’m seriously with you and it doesn’t get said often enough: That “covered in blood” thing is overdramatically grotesque wackadoo shit.

11

u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 16 '22

It's a fetish. For all of them, religion is a fetish.

11

u/daveintex13 Aug 16 '22

Christianity: come for the magic, stay for the cannibalism.

→ More replies

72

u/Sunny9226 Aug 16 '22

Who would have thought he would be dead in such a short amount of time? People who believe in science!! It's not a shock that assholes like this die because they refuse to accept science, and engage in risky behavior.

→ More replies

53

u/EquationsApparel Aug 16 '22

Killed by the very thing he mocked...

Too bad we don't get to know if he ever felt regret.

40

u/lousylakers Their new hoax is get the vaccine, I did Aug 16 '22

This chump acted like he had no kids with nothing to lose. The only regret here is his kids who couldn’t choose their Dad.

24

u/vsandrei 🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️ Aug 16 '22

Too bad we don't get to know if he ever felt regret.

"All he felt was our teeth and claws . . . and the sting of drowning in Tabasco sauce." --the viral 🐆 🐆 🐆

11

u/JavaSuck Severe Acute Reddit Syndrome Aug 16 '22

Tabasco sauce

Do leopards have their own "Hot Ones" show on YouTube?

20

u/steelhips Aug 16 '22

Guarantee he would be one of those who ask, just as they are about to intubate him, "Can I have the vaccine now?"

→ More replies

44

u/starbetrayer 💰1 billion dollars GoFundMe💰 Aug 16 '22

I credit this post to /u/powabiatch

43

u/DiamondplateDave Aug 16 '22

I had assumed the "stimulus payment" was to stimulate the economy.

I have a sinking feeling I misused mine...

18

u/Glamour_Girl_ Hydrogen 2: Electric Boogaloo ⚡️ Aug 16 '22

All for porn on Red Tube? 🥺

→ More replies

35

u/WhichEmojiForThis Aug 16 '22

Slide 3 “copied and pasted“: Well yeah. We knew you weren’t capable of writing anything yourself

373

u/SirJohnSmythe Team Mix & Match Aug 16 '22 edited Aug 16 '22

Slide 9: Holy fuck that $325 porn habit he posted on Facebook and didn't take down...

185

u/peppermintvalet Aug 16 '22

His poor wife

153

u/SirJohnSmythe Team Mix & Match Aug 16 '22

You can give to her GoFundMe to pay off the hospital and cam gals

→ More replies

47

u/powabiatch Aug 16 '22

Hey she said he went to heaven so he must have been doing it right

16

u/Glamour_Girl_ Hydrogen 2: Electric Boogaloo ⚡️ Aug 16 '22

Wait, since when was Paul Lynde elevated to “Gay God” status?

14

u/Fungustoe1 Aug 16 '22

Decades ago. He and Cesar Romero were pioneers!!

→ More replies
→ More replies

99

u/WhichEmojiForThis Aug 16 '22

Doubt they were wealthy. Can you imagine how she felt about him spending that kind of money on porn?

154

u/spaceghost260 Team Moderna Aug 16 '22

This $300 porn charge is off the charts insane. He had a wife and 3 kids and felt it was a good idea to spend $300 on porn?

His brain was so empty that COVID just moved right in and set up shop. Fuck this guy.

57

u/Fungustoe1 Aug 16 '22

Who the fuck PAYS for pr0n?

→ More replies
→ More replies

24

u/cityb0t Aug 16 '22

I would dump anyone dumb enough to pay anything for porn. It’s been free for over 20 years now! Wtf!

49

u/KrissyBean Ivermectin is a molecule ⚛️ Aug 16 '22

And Pornhub has porn for FREE! Wtf is this walnut doing paying for it?!

30

u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 16 '22

Saving us all from even more redneck spawn.

19

u/dagbrown Team Moderna Aug 16 '22

Also not a very patriotic thing to do, sending three hundred of his glorious American dollars to Canada.

→ More replies
→ More replies

19

u/ahender8 Team Bivalent Booster Aug 16 '22

W i d o w

53

u/Sunny9226 Aug 16 '22

Perhaps it was better for him to have a specific itch scratched by porn vs her. He just doesn't seem like a considerate, thoughtful guy to get down and dirty with.

28

u/peppermintvalet Aug 16 '22

More about the amount he was spending versus the actual porn consumption

→ More replies
→ More replies

74

u/FargusDingus Aug 16 '22

It looks shopped, site names look different from the rest of the text.

47

u/steelhips Aug 16 '22

Yep. I'm also pretty sure the Treasury Department knows how to spell its own name.

20

u/RattusMcRatface I GET CLOSTERPHOBIA Aug 16 '22

It's a meme, I think.

→ More replies

103

u/The_Wild_Bunch Team Unicorn Blood 🦄 Aug 16 '22

Make that $324.99 a month. Apparently Redtube is a porn site too. I looked it up thinking it was a MAGA version of YouTube. Nope, more porn. No wonder god didn't listen to his prayers.

59

u/PrestigiousGrade7874 In God and ivermectin we trust Aug 16 '22

I was like “wtf is redtube”? Thanks for doing to the dirty work so I didn’t have to

28

u/steelhips Aug 16 '22

Hate to get stuck in that ad algorithm. Thanks OP.

→ More replies

22

u/StupidizeMe It's like, tubular... Bag your face! Aug 16 '22

I wondered if Redtube was right-wing porn... Now I'm kinda wondering what that would consist of?

32

u/The_Wild_Bunch Team Unicorn Blood 🦄 Aug 16 '22

Lots of daisy dukes, confederate flags and cuckolds?

→ More replies

28

u/TheGlumSinger Aug 16 '22

Incest.

34

u/leopard_eater Aug 16 '22

And….ebony and trans porn.

PornHub releases their most popular search terms per state in the US from time to time, and the most openly racist states are filled to the brim with white fat chodes beating their meat to black women, and the most religious states masterbate to trans and ‘shemale’ porn.

16

u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 16 '22

Trailer trash is a fetish now. I bet there's a lot of that.

7

u/leopard_eater Aug 16 '22

The Maine Republicans would secretly be bingeing that.

→ More replies

14

u/NarcanPusher Aug 16 '22

Right wing porn usually consists of a white guy getting screwed by another white guy who he swears is a black guy. It’s confusing, and there’s a lot of whining and moaning.

13

u/liontamarin Aug 16 '22

It's just a porn site. It's actually a month older than PornHub.

→ More replies

17

u/Glamour_Girl_ Hydrogen 2: Electric Boogaloo ⚡️ Aug 16 '22

I’ve never heard of Red Tube. But I’m also someone who would tire quickly of porn. $20, max.

11

u/RedRider1138 Lookin’ ghoul, y’all! 👍 Aug 16 '22

Hey now! Venus is a god too

13

u/The_Wild_Bunch Team Unicorn Blood 🦄 Aug 16 '22

My apologies to Venus and all other gods not involved with Christianity.

10

u/Glamour_Girl_ Hydrogen 2: Electric Boogaloo ⚡️ Aug 16 '22

Merciful Minerva!!

8

u/covidboosterhaveI 🍖🍑🌳 Aug 16 '22

Lol, the MAGA world is jealous they didn't think of that first.

→ More replies

45

u/Odd_Requirement_4933 Aug 16 '22

Lol I noticed that too. Jeebus! You know you can watch for free, dummy 🤪

43

u/WhichEmojiForThis Aug 16 '22

I’ve read that these sites are free to most of us because of the few who have insatiable porn needs that are not satisfied by the snippets that do it for the rest of us, and they pay incredible monthly fees that carry the whole industry.
…….like this guy.

23

u/Lockjaw_Puffin Aug 16 '22

The mobile gaming industry works much the same way. Clash of Clans has at least one person from Saudi royalty as one of their top spenders.

→ More replies

14

u/locjaw420 Aug 16 '22

Snippets? You get hour long videos for free, or so I've heard 😉

12

u/WhichEmojiForThis Aug 16 '22

I don’t need that much time 😁

11

u/Witchy_One Aug 16 '22

So you have heard... wink wink, nudge nudge.

→ More replies

7

u/Glamour_Girl_ Hydrogen 2: Electric Boogaloo ⚡️ Aug 16 '22

Makes sense. There simply must be a baseline of porn-obsessed zombies that make it profitable for these “companies” to give away tidbits as bait for other maladjusted people.

10

u/Glamour_Girl_ Hydrogen 2: Electric Boogaloo ⚡️ Aug 16 '22

He wasn’t that bright. Like, he was probably unaware that the more specific you are with a request in a search engine, the more likely you are to get very good results. Why spend $300 on goddess knows what when you could have just been….specific?

20

u/PrestigiousGrade7874 In God and ivermectin we trust Aug 16 '22

Thing is, he doesn’t like he can afford $300+ a month on porn

9

u/Glamour_Girl_ Hydrogen 2: Electric Boogaloo ⚡️ Aug 16 '22

Once that truck got repossessed he had a sudden windfall of over $500 per month! Hell, yeah! Taco Bell and porn!

→ More replies

7

u/Few_Industry1314 Aug 16 '22

According to MTG white men are isolated and discriminated. Therefore they are turning to porn. Is this Awardee an example of that?

43

u/Rex_Beever Aug 16 '22

You guys know that was a joke meme, right? Looks like 30 or so of you didn't. I mean, the guy is an idiot, but I think some self examination may be in order for some of you.

24

u/HurbleBurble Team Pfizer Aug 16 '22

Yeah, this was a joke meme being passed around with a bunch of others when the stimulus came out.

16

u/modus_bonens Aug 16 '22

Now now there's plenty of room between not knowing about this stimulus porn meme and needing self-examination.

→ More replies

8

u/A-man-of-mystery Covidious Albion Aug 16 '22

To be fair, it's virtually impossible to post a joke like that without someone taking it seriously.

→ More replies
→ More replies

31

u/Darnoc_QOTHP 🍧🍰 Just 🍪🍬 Desserts 🍭🍩 Aug 16 '22

Cliffhanger on slide 18.

**"He was known as Big _________"

So many choices!

6

u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 16 '22

I'm going with "Big Stupid".

→ More replies

28

u/MeatballUnited Team Pfizer Aug 16 '22

Enjoy your bag.

16

u/vsandrei 🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️ Aug 16 '22

Enjoy your bag.

The 🐆 🐆 🐆 enjoyed what they found in their lunch bag.

→ More replies
→ More replies

24

u/beek7419 Aug 16 '22

So Tucker admits that the vaccine saves lives… interesting indeed.

17

u/thoroughbredca Team Mix & Match Aug 16 '22

I had posted that in another comment. He was pro-vax for a hot second, but there was some initial discussion about prioritizing vaccines for people who had been hit hardest by the pandemic, include some racial groups (god knows how hard black people had been hit), so of course Tucker turned it into "some undeserving black dude is gonna get vaxxed before your white grandmother does". That lasted like one night and then he instantly pivoted to "vaccines are poison" without anyone ever batting an eye at the change.

21

u/A-man-of-mystery Covidious Albion Aug 16 '22

He was born in the same year as my wife. She's still alive, despite being clinically vulnerable, because she takes covid seriously, is vaxxed, wears masks. She even caught covid recently (for the first time; the latest variant is very infectious) and after a week or so of being ill she made a full recovery.

→ More replies

19

u/talino2321 Aug 16 '22

Oh, no... any way. How's everyone's week going?

7

u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 16 '22

As soon as I saw this, I knew it would be a great day!

→ More replies

19

u/caughtyouin4kbestie Aug 16 '22

What particular fetishes this man must… posses to pay that much for porn each month!

I know a lot of stupid people but not a single one has ever posted their porn subscriptions. Entirely not a surprise that he’s dead.

12

u/lostindasauce510 Aug 16 '22

its a photoshopped meme, not actually his acc

19

u/donuts4lunch Fox has killer ratings Aug 16 '22

Slide 6: “I’m not moving till I’m in a bag.”

Mission accomplished.

→ More replies

17

u/PendulumEffect Aug 16 '22

Cover me in your precious blood.. Wtf..?

→ More replies

19

u/lousylakers Their new hoax is get the vaccine, I did Aug 16 '22

Bastardized U.S. flag tshirt, slavish devotion to a false idol over country, and leaves behind 3 children for a wife to raise. Ladies and Gentlemen, this bag has blown it all. Another magat legacy for the record books.

→ More replies

17

u/havetheconch Aug 16 '22

Well at least now those three children have a chance to not grow up and become ignorant, bigoted pieces of shit.

14

u/Same-Party-7298 Aug 16 '22

We found out when he was moving out.

15

u/redvariation Winner winner COVID dinner 🍽️ Aug 16 '22

He didn't have to see how bad USA turned out with Biden as President. Because he's DEAD.

→ More replies

14

u/redditmodsRrussians rest in apple flavors Aug 16 '22

Another brave gravy seal who landed on Imahog Beach with the “my faith is my armor” kit and ended up tagged and bagged. Rest in apple flavors

13

u/iambicman 🪦 Designated HCA Headstone Engraver 🪦 Aug 16 '22 edited Aug 16 '22

Epitaph

Redlube cared nothing for impulse control.
Speedrunning life was his apparent goal.
With rich, abundant spite was he endowed.
Obituary: Young Man Yelled At Cloud.

→ More replies

13

u/Slow_Advertising1181 Aug 16 '22

Stupid is as stupid does, then stupid dies, leaving 3 small children without their stupid dad...Good job owning the libs, stupid.

57

u/B52gunner Aug 16 '22

Dying to own the libs…classic

38

u/Blablasarcasm 🗣Olly, Olly, oxygenfree🫁 Aug 16 '22

Racism and hatred, also classics.

13

u/WhichEmojiForThis Aug 16 '22

I honestly tried to sift through the long [copied and pasted] rant….. but there was no logic to it. What a colossal failure of the education system

16

u/thoroughbredca Team Mix & Match Aug 16 '22

Dude, I am so owned right now.

14

u/Glamour_Girl_ Hydrogen 2: Electric Boogaloo ⚡️ Aug 16 '22

I’m so owned that Imma crack open another adult beverage and cry.

11

u/donuts4lunch Fox has killer ratings Aug 16 '22

I’m as owned as you plus infinity.

→ More replies

12

u/Mrmoney7777 Aug 16 '22

God gave you the vaccine but your ignorance was too strong to see the light.

12

u/BidenIsYourPOTUS Aug 16 '22

I, a lib, am so owned. So very, very owned. Owned AF.

12

u/Glamour_Girl_ Hydrogen 2: Electric Boogaloo ⚡️ Aug 16 '22

I got news for these Trump Humpers…he ain’t in Heaven.

36

u/GhostMan74 Aug 16 '22

I will never understand this mentality and I'm glad

56

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '22

[deleted]

10

u/PopeOfManwichVillage Tickle Me ECMO Aug 16 '22

This one was well-deserved

10

u/TrainToo Aug 16 '22

Wondering, why are these idiots so outlandishly ugly? Just gross.

11

u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 16 '22

They take pride in it! Mangey beards, horrible clothing, beer guts, bad teeth, hideous tattoos, it's all a point of pride for them.

And the men look even worse.

→ More replies

10

u/WilliamMinorsWords Perpetual Time-out Aug 16 '22 edited Aug 16 '22

Who tf spends $300 a month on Pornhub? And publicly posts about it?

8

u/spaceghost260 Team Moderna Aug 16 '22

I mean how can you be proud of spending money on pornography? 95% of pornhub is free? If your going to pay that much at least get something custom made for you?

Bragging about your porn subscription publicly is immature and ignorant.

→ More replies

11

u/KittonRouge Aug 16 '22

That ignorant fuck was born the year that I graduated from high school. What a difference a vax makes.

8

u/survivor2bmaybe Aug 16 '22

27 years younger than me and I’m hoping to go another 20. So many wasted lives.

→ More replies

9

u/Accomplished_Arm3386 🎶Vaxxed, Gifted, and Black—that’s where it’s at!🎶 Aug 16 '22

1982—my little sister was also born that year, and thanks to being vaccinated and boosted, was able to celebrate her 40th birthday. She’ll also be in my cousin’s wedding later this year. This guy couldn’t be bothered to take a shot to see his 40th birthday and his kids growing up, but he’ll pay $300 to watch porn that you can get for free! What a dope!

→ More replies

9

u/A-man-of-mystery Covidious Albion Aug 16 '22

Slide 8: Is it just me, or did Tucker Carlson have the look of a man who knows he's lying?

11

u/Appropriate-Coast794 Aug 16 '22

So much to unpack here. AND he created three children to leave behind? How’s that working out?

10

u/justMeTee Aug 16 '22

She thinks he’s in hEaVeN

28

u/Blablasarcasm 🗣Olly, Olly, oxygenfree🫁 Aug 16 '22

iT’s OnLy A mAtTeR oF tImE before all of us are controlled by microscopic nano computer chips that will tell the government my every move. These are the same people who swear that White Jesus is gonna come back any day now so “a matter of time” doesn’t mean much from them. Also, what a dumbfuck conspiracy.

17

u/wholewheatscythe Aug 16 '22

Like the Government would even care what he does. Conspiracy theorists always seem to have ‘main character syndrome’.

→ More replies

12

u/WhichEmojiForThis Aug 16 '22

When “they“ control us what are they gonna have us all do? Strip naked and do the funky chicken so they can watch?

→ More replies

10

u/steelhips Aug 16 '22

And A) they think their little boring lives are interesting/important enough for anyone to document it.
B) don't know they already share that information, and much more, by using their phone constantly without changing privacy settings. C) are already being controlled and manipulated by their very own echo chamber, religion and/or vested interests.

No shade on having a boring life. I'm the first to admit I have one of those and I'm very happy about it.

6

u/Glamour_Girl_ Hydrogen 2: Electric Boogaloo ⚡️ Aug 16 '22

I’ve always said that if the Feds followed me they’d be bored out of their minds.

“That traitorous bitch is looking for Halloween schizznit at Lowe’s!! Better phone this one in to D.C.!!” 🙄

→ More replies
→ More replies

7

u/Fruits_of_Zellman Aug 16 '22

Are microchips even able to track people? Can it help me find my cat when he's in the back of the closet? Airtags are the size of silver dollars and all they do is ping off iPhones.

→ More replies

28

u/Whiteroses7252012 Aug 16 '22

He got what he wanted. He owned people who don’t know about him and wouldn’t care if they did- and left his kids alone.

9

u/jimjam721 Aug 16 '22

What a pathetic proud ignoramus.

8

u/BirdyDreamer Aug 16 '22

Looks like Redlube did go out in a body bag after all!

8

u/HermanCainShow Team AstraZeneca Aug 16 '22

Sure, big government can’t wait to know your every move, dummy. I can see them itching while they’re waiting for more info about your trips to Walmart, the gun shop and the red light district, or checking out how many times a day you jerk off on pornhub. Mostly because it’s not like they could gather the very same info through your phone, and the numerous apps YOU authorised to track your movements.

9

u/Likherpusisaur Aug 16 '22

Final Tile: I'm so fucking sick and tired of hearing "(S)HE's in HEAVEN Now!" in one breath, and in the very next breath lamenting about "GRIEVING"! MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MINDS!!!!! If "Heaven" is this great beautiful and wonderful place of eternal joy and absence of suffering, this should be cause for CELEBRATION, don'tcha think? If you truly do believe these things, yet you've still got to whine and wail about some "dear one's" passing, then PERHAPS... just MAYBE ...your concepts about Death and the After-Life are WAAAAAYYYY off the mark! (I'm just sayin'.)

10

u/MurnSwag2 I'll never forget you. I'm still using your stuff! Aug 16 '22

The payment to redtube and pornhub didn't bother me terribly, until I saw the guy was married with three children! Really? Your family didn't have better things to spend or save that money for?

→ More replies

7

u/Stunticonsfan GoFundHisPoorDecision 👎🥴 Aug 16 '22

Slide 17 : "God send angels to minister to you."

This is a change from the usual appearance of angels in such narratives, where they're dancing with the dead person, but did God not send the angels or did they sit around his hospital bed placing bets on when he'd croak?

11

u/Glamour_Girl_ Hydrogen 2: Electric Boogaloo ⚡️ Aug 16 '22

Prolly drawing straws on which one of them had to drag him down to the pit.

8

u/Boxersrock1000 Aug 16 '22

And now the government will be paying social security for 3 kids.

11

u/spaceghost260 Team Moderna Aug 16 '22

This is the let takeaway. 3 kids until they are 18. Freeloaders raising freeloaders.

8

u/drbob4512 Aug 16 '22

They always wished they were part of the 1%

→ More replies

33

u/mmio60 Aug 16 '22

One less Trumper

13

u/steelhips Aug 16 '22

I don't think enough have died to effect the vote but I do think it's taken out so many rampant and prolific disseminators of utter bullshit, and that is a win. Those who are now disabled by COVID are now less likely to vote in person with O2 cylinders in tow.

The money, earmarked for Trump's grift from his base, has been diverted to BS "cures", hospital bills, funeral expenses and COVID orphans. That would irritate Trump no end and no matter how much they beg/spam for donations, it won't change financial reality. Those, like Trump, who have never been totally broke just can't comprehend it. He just thinks his base is holding out on him.

7

u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 16 '22

"I don't think enough have died to effect the vote but I do think it's taken out so many rampant and prolific disseminators of utter bullshit, and that is a win"

Not yet, but this won't stop. By the time the next presidential election rolls around, it will have affected the numbers, especially if the most vocal antivaxxers are also the people most likely to vote.

Since the virus has been disproportionally killing elderly people, it has been disproportionally killing MAGAts. It's been killing the biggest part of their base, and the ones who donated the most money.

These people are too far gone. None of them are ever getting the vaccine. Meanwhile the virus keeps evolving and vaccine technology continues to improve. They're being left behind in the dust, and dying. Of course they're furious, but it's impotent fury, because they won't vaccinate.

They're too stupid to breathe. The entire country is better off without all of the awardees we've seen.

→ More replies
→ More replies

19

u/vsandrei 🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️🐆 🐿️ Aug 16 '22

Im not moving out till I'm in a bag

"Wish granted." --the hungry viral 🐆 🐆 🐆

"Tasty and fresh, sweet was his flesh." --their pet 🐹 🐹 🐹

7

u/redit3rd Team Moderna Aug 16 '22

What are those nano-particles mentioned in slide 7? I'm assuming they are particles smaller than electrons.

8

u/PiedrasNegras Aug 16 '22

Tots and pears Redlube. You little bitch.

7

u/HarryGreybeau Team Moderna Aug 16 '22

He was known as Big Dumb Ass.

6

u/AmySueF Aug 16 '22

I’ve been on PornHub, and maybe it’s just me, but one porn video pretty much looks like all the rest. The faces might change, but a vagina is still a vagina, and a dk is still a dk. Whether the charges are real or not, paying $300 to PornHub means you got scammed.

6

u/Kutas88 Aug 16 '22

IDK, everytime I see one of the nominations, and I really enjoy them, don't get me wrong. But most of the nominees I see (not all) starts a specific song from the bloodhound gang in my head.

Any Idea which one it could be?

→ More replies

6

u/bksizzles Aug 16 '22

Another neck beard bites the dust

6

u/peppermintesse Vax yo self FFS 💉 Aug 16 '22 edited Aug 16 '22

Im not moving out till I'm in a bag

Wish granted!

Edit: JFC, the screenshot of his bank transactions.

Edit 2: OK, that Wells Fargo screen was a meme, but he's still gross.

→ More replies