r/HermanCainAward AmBivalent Microchip Rainbow Swirl 🍭 Aug 18 '22

Day 5, positive for Covid. Also, 5 days old. Grrrrrrrr.

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u/CarnageConnoisseur Aug 18 '22

Guess who's not invited to the kid's first birthday.

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u/Charlie_Olliver Aug 18 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

My MIL lives in our city and has seen our kids (her only grandchildren) just 3 times since the beginning of the pandemic due to her uncontrolled anti-mask, anti-vax, QAnon behavior. She ain’t invited to shit anymore, and I’m perfectly fine with that.

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u/CarnageConnoisseur Aug 18 '22

You win at parenting.

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u/Charlie_Olliver Aug 18 '22

I don’t know if it’s as much that we’re winning at parenting so much as she failed at… family-ing. Her whole life, she’s always said that “family is the most important thing”; however when it truly came right down to it, her fear-and-conspiracy-based opinions mattered more.

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u/WoohpeMeadow Aug 18 '22

I've been living this. Now I'm trying to figure out how to move forward.

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u/fiddlestix42 Aug 18 '22 Heartwarming

“You can’t trip on what’s behind you. Time to move on”

Someone just told this to me or I read it somewhere. Anyways I really liked the sentiment.

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u/Cheapassdad Aug 18 '22

Good saying, I'm surprised I'm only hearing it now!

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u/derelict_wanderer Team Moderna Aug 18 '22

Same. I like it.

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u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22 edited Aug 25 '22

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u/WoohpeMeadow Aug 18 '22

I like it!

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u/WordleMaven Aug 18 '22

True! Gonna remember that expression and hope I never have to use it.

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u/JuiceKovacs Aug 18 '22

It’s tough, for sure.

My dad hasn’t seen his grandchild in about 2 years. And for a while I had pity for him. Now it’s a “cats in the cradle” situation

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u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22 edited Aug 25 '22

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u/aza9999 Aug 18 '22

For some reason I pictured the TF2 sniper saying this while screwing together his rifle on a rooftop

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u/Candymanshook Aug 18 '22

Really sorry to hear that. It’s scary to me how much the pandemic and to some extent right-wing politics in general have managed to split up families

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u/Charlie_Olliver Aug 18 '22

Agreed. However, I think it also made it a LOT easier (and faster) to identify which family members to avoid due to being bigots, assholes, racists, and/or crazy conspiracy theorists.

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u/Cheapassdad Aug 18 '22

When I worked at a grocery store, it finally got down to no vaccine, no more job. Every shithead magically left on that day, it was the epitome of the trash taking itself out.

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u/Charlie_Olliver Aug 18 '22

Ain’t it grand when that happens, lol?!

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u/SusanBHa Aug 18 '22

I love that.

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u/Interesting_Novel997 Quantum Professor - Team Bivalent Booster Aug 18 '22

I love when that happens. You don't get your hands dirty.

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u/JuiceKovacs Aug 18 '22

A week or two into Covid I posted on fb “so what conspiracy are dumb ppl gonna believe this week”

It was a funny comment, I thought. Then it blew up with ppl talking about the pope, not voting in primary elections, etc

At dinner I told my wife “yeesh. I shouldn’t have posted anything” and she said “it’s good because now we can tell who is batshit crazy”

Yadayadayada. I got them all out of my life. It’s been nice

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u/Rovden Aug 18 '22

I think it was the pandemic that finally made people sick of the bigots and assholes in their families.

Pre-pandemic you'd always hear around November people lamenting they have to be around some family member that was racist/sexist/political asshole but everyone in the family tolerates it because thanksgiving and only get one family.

A plague made that person a threat to a family's safety, and Jan 6 made their support on the side that literally wanted to take over the country in a civil war.

The only change between 2019 and now is the consequences of not cutting these people out are now very real and very much in our faces.

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u/purrfunctory Aug 18 '22

My mother wants me and my brother to reconcile. She hates that when Grandma dies (97f) and when she dies (76f) all my brother and I will have is each other.

Nah. I have my husband, my wonderful MIL, a family I built of friends and one amazing cousin I love to bits. I won’t be ‘alone.’

And it’ll be a cold day in Hell before I make peace with the person who abused me and tortured me for years. I’m not that kind of forgive and forget person. I won’t be pressured into performative forgiveness. I will not be “the better person” and mend a bridge I happily burned twenty years ago.

In addition to our history, he’s an ardent Trump supporter, 2nd Amendment devotee, it terrified of “them” taking his guns. Dude’s hobby is black powder period replicas for a pirate reenactment group. No one’s gonna take his guns. Not even the rifles he has.

He’s against any public assistance yet he collects disability because “I paid into it, so I’m entitled to it.” He has Medicaid because he gets disability. He’s just your typical, under-educated and proud of it republican. Not to mention his recent dive into ll things conspiracy.

I mean, it’s sad. But I don’t really care anymore. “Family” isn’t reason enough to reconnect.

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u/Candymanshook Aug 18 '22

You’re 100% right.

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u/Wayte13 Aug 18 '22

A lot of people who say "family is the most important thing" just mean THEY are the most important thing

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u/Rovden Aug 18 '22

I find it funny the people who are quickest to tell you that family is the most important thing to them you quickly learn it's actually religion and politics that's most important.

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u/TheRealKenInMN Unvaccinated lives matter! *cough* Aug 18 '22

"But Family is SOCIALISM!"

Fox "News": Kills. Families. Dead...

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u/PM_Me_Your_Clones Aug 18 '22

I don't know about your situation and thus should not be commenting, but in my experience anyone who says "Family is the most important thing" is someone who means "What I want my family to do and from my family is the most important thing". Very rarely are these people cool with challenges to structures of power and control.

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u/AggressiveAd654 Aug 18 '22

I’m so sorry! She sounds like a narcissist who’s worried about how other people see her AND about her crazy theories more than what she actually claims to value. My MIL is similar. :(

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u/williamfbuckwheat Aug 18 '22

Well, "family" is still important to her. It just happens to be that the "family" she has in mind is Charles Manson/Jim Jones cult style family but where it's so heavily engineered by actors to hook large numbers of people at a deep psychological level via modern media tools that she hasn't met or had any real tangible connection to the people who she feels so devoted to like earlier cults did.

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u/MrsStickMotherOfTwig Aug 18 '22

This is exactly what's happened with my MIL except we live 5 hours away and haven't seen her in 3 years now. Sucks to suck.

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u/HermanCainShow Team AstraZeneca Aug 18 '22

I wouldn’t let a QAnon nut anywhere near my kids, regardless of any other consideration. They’re dangerous extremists with zero empathy and critical thinking ability. Walking liabilities basically, fuck the whole lot.

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u/TheQuinnBee Aug 18 '22

Yep. My mother has never met my son and she won't meet my next. That is her choice. She decided to let conspiracy theories warp her mind. She chose Trump over her grandkids. I cannot let that around my babies.

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u/CoCleric Aug 18 '22 edited Aug 18 '22

Same here! She jumped down the rabbit hole, Trump supporter, bought anti 5G stickers to stick on phones, jumped heavy back into religion, not vaccinated. I will never let her near my child.

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u/TheAntiGhost Aug 18 '22

Wait wait wait… Does she think the STICKERS block the 5G?

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u/Spongy_and_Bruised Aug 18 '22

It's easy to take money from the dumb.

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u/UnihornWhale Do you get it yet? Aug 18 '22

Stickers to stop 5g? JFC these people are stupid

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u/bertiesakura Aug 18 '22

It’s a fucking cult and sadly people in a cult don’t know they’re in a cult until they drink the poisoned koolaid.

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u/etsprout Aug 18 '22

Fun fact, a lot of them did not want to commit suicide but were forced to drink the flavor-aid. Including children!

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u/bigtoebrah Aug 18 '22

Plus with all the projecting they do, I have to imagine a good number of them are pedophiles.

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u/inko75 Aug 18 '22

3 times seems too many? qanon crap would be immediate no contact for our house

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u/Charlie_Olliver Aug 18 '22 edited Aug 18 '22

Well we first cut her off after she hugged all over our kids after attending a huge anti-mask rally at the beginning of the pandemic. No visits for a year. During that time, she seemed to be getting better (ie more reasonable and keeping her opinions mostly to herself), so we agreed to visit once a month for Sunday dinner. After just 3 months, she pulled one final stunt and she hasn’t seen the kids since.

The kids have been asking to see Grandma, so we’re considering visiting her only for Xmas, Mothers Day, and maybe a Labor Day cookout; the only conditions are that she cannot bring up political/conspiracy topics and she must respect any health requests we make. If she breaks either of those, we’ll permanently go no contact. Judging by her past inability to keep her shit together for even a brief period of time, I have no doubt she’ll fuck this up too.

edit: the only reason my husband hasn’t completely cut her off before now is that, while she’s always been super-religious and motivated by worry/guilt, she didn’t start getting unreasonable until the pandemic. Her actions in early 2020 took us both by surprise bc it was so unexpected. We’re willing to give her one last chance to see if she’s able to keep her opinions separate from her family; if she can’t manage to do that one simple thing, she will end her relationship with her only grandkids, and it’ll be all her own doing.

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u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 18 '22

I'm so sorry. It sounds as if you can already see the No Contact Ever Again train barrelling down the tracks.

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u/Chasman1965 Aug 18 '22

I don't understand that one bit. I'm not a grandfather yet, but hope to be one in the next ten years or so. I would take a dozen shots and wear a hazmat suit if that were necessary to see my theoretical grandchildren.

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u/Charlie_Olliver Aug 18 '22 Faith In Humanity Restored

The funny thing is, my dad is a quasi-hippie who had misgivings about the vaccine, thought the Covid death numbers were hugely over-exaggerated, and that mask mandates were gov’t overreach.

And yet… he got the vaccine after listening to a trusted friend’s explanation, and he wore his mask in public when required without making a stink. He still thinks the death tolls were overblown and that the gov’t was overreaching control; but to me the important thing is that, despite his personal opinions, he still took necessary precautions for other people (and eventually for himself when he got vaxxed.) He was able to have his personal views and not endanger the health of others, and he has so much of my respect for that.

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u/Nuicakes Team Moderna Aug 18 '22 edited Aug 18 '22

Your dad is awesome!

Definitely what I thought the world was like pre-COVID. Everyone listened to doctors. If the doctors said that we needed XYZ vaccine for a dangerous virus, you did it. Not because you believed there was a dangerous virus, but because doctors believed and because getting a vaccine protected everyone around you.

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u/19610taw3 Team Pfizer Aug 18 '22

My aunt (died of covid in October) was a hypochondriac. You name it, she thinks she has it. She'd get put on medicine after medicine after medicine. Shots and vaccinations for EVERYTHING under the planet possible.

Then they joined a VERY anti-vaxx church. Things changed. Her and my uncle caught covid, superspread it to their pregnant daughter (unvaxxed) and her (vaccinated) boyfriend with COPD and his two kids.

The only adult who didn't end up in the hospital was the vaccinated boyfriend with COPD. Of course that means the vaccinations didn't work. My aunt ended up dieing from bad "allergies".

Got it.

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u/Charlie_Olliver Aug 18 '22

aunt ended up dying from bad “allergies”.

The funny thing is my MIL has always had terrible allergies and asthma all her life, on top of the fact that she’s over 70. She’s a perfect candidate for Covid but she refuses masks and vaccines; at this point she might as well hold up a golf club on a hill in the middle of a lightning storm, the odds are about the same, lol.

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u/dailysunshineKO Aug 18 '22

They’re just some people lucky like that, I guess. my grandfather smoked for years and years and years. Instead of buying cigarettes he’d roll his own to save money- Which meant that he was smoking a cigarette without a filter.

When he was In his mid-80’s, the doctors were amazed that he was that old and wasn’t on on any medications. One PCP referred to as the patient that debunked all medical research on smoking/lung cancer. We used to joke that smoking a pack of cigarettes a day was what was keeping him alive.

He eventually didget cancer but he still lived into his 90s.

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u/Nuicakes Team Moderna Aug 18 '22

So sorry for your loss.

Not getting vaccinated is like playing Russian Roulette. No wonder antivaxxers have to start rumors about vaccines being dangerous.

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u/Lyvectra Aug 18 '22

You’ve never met a man who refuses to see a specialist when he hurts his shoulder; messes with the dosage of his medication because he thinks he knows better than the doctor; and will reschedule appointments for months before he goes to the general practitioner or a dentist.

Yes, this is my dad.

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u/Nuicakes Team Moderna Aug 18 '22

Lol. That actually sounds a little like my dad. He cancels dentist appts all the time but that only affects him (and frustrates my mom).

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u/professorstrunk Aug 18 '22

Sweet summer child. My dad IS a dentist. Won’t let another dentist work on his teeth, does his own work on himself with a mirror. 😱

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u/Haskap_2010 ✨ A twinkle in a Chinese bat's eye ✨ Aug 18 '22

He has empathy, a quality that is clearly lacking in the nominees and awardees that we see posted here. Bottom line, they are very selfish people.

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u/lousylakers Their new hoax is get the vaccine, I did Aug 18 '22

That’s nice to hear he was able to receive reasoned explanation about this whole thing and accept scientific consensus and practical considerations. So many of our commenters families don’t have that and it’s sad to hear.

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u/Charlie_Olliver Aug 18 '22

What finally convinced Dad was his friend breaking down the numbers: “Here’s the chances of someone your age dying/having serious complications from Covid if they’re unvaccinated. Here’s the side effects from the vaccine and the chances of dying/complications from them. Just going by the numbers, you have nothing to lose if you get the shot.” And seeing as my Dad worked in IT for over 40 years, that logical, factual statistics-based worked for him.

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u/BurtonGusterToo Aug 18 '22

On this note, it is the opposite in our family (well, wife's family). My in-laws have had to restrict visits because one of my BIL has become all "5G causes COVID and its because the demo-rats and Joe Hussein Biden and Hunter Biden's laptop are adrenochrome " and some shit like that. The rest of us (a very large group) are all tested, vaxxed, and boosted. We just have to cut them out of every social event from now on, but their kids (our nieces & nephew, ILs grandkids) are the ones suffering.

The thing I am sick of most is this "there is a deep divide in the country..."

Bullshit, it is a bunch of attention starved, half-literate assholes ruining it for everyone. Top to bottom.

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u/Lyvectra Aug 18 '22

The ones spreading it ARE literate (Fox News), but they get paid more to spread things THEY KNOW DAMN WELL are false. It’s not the blind leading the blind; it’s wolves leading sheep into the cooking pot.

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u/RogerClyneIsAGod2 Team Moderna Aug 18 '22

The thing I am sick of most is this "there is a deep divide in the country..."

Bullshit, it is a bunch of attention starved, half-literate assholes ruining it for everyone. Top to bottom.

Yep. The political parties haven't always agreed on stuff & you've always expected them to disagree on certain topics, but now it's just, as you said, attention starved half-literate assholes ruining everything for everyone.

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u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

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u/BurtonGusterToo Aug 18 '22

My favorite part (which also supports your statement) was when my SIL went on a 20 minute's rant about crystals protecting from the negative spiritual energy from the "woke mob", then my traditional, immigrant MIL politely said "Honey, I don't think any of that is true". My SIL replied "you're a Pisces, you have trouble seeing big pictures".

In a room of very loud, talkative people it was dead silent for the rest of the day.

I don't get it.

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u/AmberSnow1727 Aug 18 '22

My parents both got their whooping cough boosters before their first grandchild was born for this reason.

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u/Chasman1965 Aug 18 '22

A good friend of mine did that before the birth of his future grandchild.

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u/Accurate-Hawk9322 Aug 18 '22

I have lunatic relatives that are the same way. They got excommunicated before they had a chance to get my kids sick. It was long over due to be honest.

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u/firemogle Aug 18 '22

Pre COVID but my mom got limited in part due to pulling up her sleeves to let us know about her maybe MRSA rashes after holding my newborn.

Thankfully it wasn't but fuck lady

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u/dicey Aug 18 '22

Yeah we've completely removed my wife's aunt from the equation due to her refusal to vaccinate herself. She said at one point "I feel like I've been excluded".

... Yes. Yes you have.

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u/JuiceKovacs Aug 18 '22

You are a good parent. You are doing what’s best for your child.

Those no playbook on this. But as long as you do what’s best for the kids, your kids (they are yours no matter what the mil says), you are doing a great parenting job.

Their generation is so entitled and spoiled. Good on you for standing up for your kid.

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u/1800TurdFerguson Not vaxxed...can I have your stuff? Aug 18 '22

Or any birthday. Guess who bought themselves a ticket on the “Fuck Outta My Life” express?

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u/CarnageConnoisseur Aug 18 '22

One way. 👢 👢👢👢💥💥💥💫💫💫

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u/ALurkerForcedToLogin Team Moderna Aug 18 '22

Kid might not get a first birthday, and I would cut those people out of my life forever for this unforgivable breach of trust and what may ultimately be the cause of death of their child. 🤬

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u/mainesea Aug 18 '22

It’s insane how careless people are with the health of a newborn and the wishes of their parents. When my oldest was born we asked the at everyone update their tdap and the flu. My MIL threw a fit and blamed vaccines for her husband’s illness (that he died from). I had no idea she was antivaxx. She eventually got them, but it was extra stress added on an already stressful time.

I think there have been generations where people were supposed to do what was expected regardless of how they felt about it ie letting a bunch of people come see a newborn. If you want to do that, fine. If you don’t, fine. But people shouldn’t get crap for having boundaries that keep their family safe.

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u/ALurkerForcedToLogin Team Moderna Aug 18 '22

Are you sure she eventually got them? Do you have and proof? I bet she lied to you.

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u/coelurosauravus Aug 18 '22

i visited my sister and her 6 week premie newborn a few weeks back. I wore a mask, i practically walked by every hand washing station in the hospital and viciously scrubbed my hands and forearms. In hindsight very clear overkill, but this was the first kid born of all my siblings and their spouses and nobody in this family wants to risk any additional complications

3 years ago I must admit I probably would have been more carefree about this stuff, granted NICUs are very different from the rest of a hospital, but still, i feel like even pre pandemic I would have been more considerate of someone who just had a child, premie or not

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u/dumdodo Aug 18 '22 edited Aug 18 '22

Certainly not overkill around a premie, or in a hospital.

My friend, an ID doc, has caught Covid 3 times, and he has been extremely cautious in what little life he has had outside the hospital.

No reason to risk spreading Covid to anyone in a hospital, especially a post-partum mother and a premie.

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u/LukeW0rm Aug 18 '22

Glad my SO’s sister made us do that to hang out with the kids because I was probably way out of date on my vaccines and really needed an excuse to push me to get them re-upped heh

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u/financequestionsacct Aug 18 '22

It’s insane how careless people are with the health of a newborn and the wishes of their parents

I just delivered yesterday and we as a couple agreed my husband can't be with me in the mother-baby unit because he is watching our toddler, since we don't have any cautious family members between us and didn't want to risk either our toddler or newborn getting ill. I've had 45 minutes of sleep since Tuesday morning when I went to work, and it sucks, but I feel good about our decision. It's a lot less worry than gambling with pertussis or Covid, etc.

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u/chele68 I bind and rebuke you Qeteb Aug 18 '22

aww congratulations! hope you are able to get a little rest this weekend.

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u/mainesea Aug 18 '22

Congratulations! I think that’s a smart choice. And I hope you’re able to get some sleep soon.

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u/CarnageConnoisseur Aug 18 '22

You're not wrong. On either count. Hope it turns out all right. 💔

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u/firemogle Aug 18 '22

My wife really wanted her mom this year when my daughter was born. MIL refused to vaccinate and all my in laws blamed my wife for being mean and shit like that. Her brother called her 12 hours before induction to tell her how awful she was for doing this to her mom.

Also the last kid we had was stillborn.

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u/Flicker-pip Go Give One Aug 18 '22

I’m sorry for your loss and sorry for the added family stress during your daughter’s birth. I hope you and your family are having a sweet time together, even with the craziness of the in laws.

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u/firemogle Aug 18 '22

Thanks. All is well now, I really added it for context of how inappropriate the mentality was. Just crazy.

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u/dumdodo Aug 18 '22

Fortunately, the baby is likely to recover, especially if Mom was vaccinated, which I assume she was.

Grandma and Grandpa need a spanking, though.

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u/samanime Aug 18 '22

First. Second. Third. Or any.

Even if the baby recovers, they'd never see them (or me) again. I'd go no contact instantly. If they can't be trusted to protect an infant rather than their own selfish desires, they can't be trusted, period.

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u/CarnageConnoisseur Aug 18 '22

If any relative did this, they'd be dead to me.

If they pushed the issue, they'd be dead to everyone else too.

Nobody jeopardizes my kids safety. Period.

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u/Tranqup Aug 18 '22

Oh definitely. I'd tell them, hope you got a good look while you infected my baby, because that's the last time you'll see me or my child again.

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u/Tiddles_Ultradoom You Will Respect My Immunitah! Aug 18 '22

Oh, they can come to the kid's first birthday, but they'll have to share an urn.

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u/no-eggs-for-you-now Aug 18 '22

guess who never gets to see their grandchild ever again

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u/Ok-Low6320 Aug 18 '22

My sister-in-law had a baby in 2021. Her aunt asked to hold the boy when he was a newborn.

"Are you vaccinated?"

"I choose not to disclose that. It's none of your business."

"Then you can't hold the baby."

Douche-of-an-aunt. Most of my in-laws are cool, but that gal irritates me no end. In happier news, my nephew is healthy as a horse.

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u/Repulsive-Street-307 Aug 18 '22

Holding is too late. Can't be at a distance of 10 meters is more like it.

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u/SCJ27 Aug 18 '22

Gosh this kind of reminds me of a woman I follow online. Her son’s grandmother was looking after him, and tried to also run an illegal daycare in which one of the kids was sick. He caught this illness and it became severe enough he needed to be hospitalised. During his time in hospital they messed up his intubation and his brain couldn’t receive oxygen. He ended up with very severe brain damage.

She’s now currently in the process of making him as comfortable as possible and preparing herself, her husband and her youngest son for their 6 year old family members impending death.

All the while this grandmother and the grandfather are harassing her, to the point of turning up to their property and hurling abuse at her calling her a selfish b***ch because she cut ties with them.

Some people never cease to amaze me.

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u/Russell_Ruffino Aug 18 '22

This reminds me of the coconut oil story that was on Reddit at some point.

Grandmother wouldn't accept one of the grandkids was very allergic to coconut and wanted to put coconut oil through their hair. They eventually did when babysitting with the predictable awful consequences.

If you don't like heartbreaking stuff I wouldn't go looking for it, it's tragic and so easily avoidable.

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u/TaxiFare 🐘 Voted Red, Now I'm Dead 🐘 Aug 18 '22 edited Aug 18 '22

You see a lot of ignoring allergies as a theme in a type post that pops up not irregularly in r/legaladvice unfortunately. There's a lot of people in the world that discover the hard way pointlessly that performing a prank themed around triggering someone's allergies draws more EMTs and lawsuits than it does laughs. It's predominantly adults, but also a good share of people with kids in these scenarios. Like having a teacher that hands out peanut butter sandwiches to every child each day regardless of allergies and complaints. Or much like the coconut oil story, a family member doesn't listen to the allergies and decides something along the lines of a peanut butter granola bar being a great snack for kids with peanut butter allergies.

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u/Tithund Team Pfizer Aug 18 '22 I'll Drink to That

My sister's friend has a severe gluten intolerance, it incapacitates her for days. Because of this we have some basic rules when bbqing.

I'm usually the one doing most of the cooking. While I was switching utensils and making sure no crumbs of bread even touch the meat, my bil's colleague just out of the blue starts arguing that I shouldn't have to do that, as if it's a really big inconvenience.

Like sure dude, I'll gamble with poisoning the poor woman just because you feel like I should be lazy on your behalf.

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u/UnihornWhale Do you get it yet? Aug 18 '22

I used to be on r/JustNoMIL a lot. MIL refusing to believe in allergies was so common

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u/fuckthislifeintheass Aug 18 '22

Why would anyone make allergies up? I can't even understand how moronic one has to be to think they know more than medical professionals diagnosing a child as allergic to a certain substance.

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u/BetterMakeAnAccount Aug 19 '22

From my experience interacting with people like this? They literally do think they know better. They see a world full of over-sensitive, mollycoddled professional victims, and expertise is just the air-headed ramblings of out-of-touch eggheads that enable said victims.

So they go to a family cookout and someone has a kid that has allergies and can’t eat A Thing. They’ve had years of conditioning at this point. “Tough love”.“Common Sense”. Boomer memes dunking on the “woke” and the Kids These Days with their special snowflake sensitivities. And now this misguided family member is inviting that mollycoddling weakness into the family. Well, not on their watch, buddy!!

So they sneak The Thing into the kid’s sandwich, so if the kid turns out OK (and the thought that they won’t be ok doesn’t even enter their mind) they can gloat and go “Aha!! See!!!! I caught you!!! You’re fine!!! We can go back to the status quo!!”

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u/HermanCainShow Team AstraZeneca Aug 18 '22

That’s exactly when you call the police and file for a restraining order. Fuck them, it isn’t her fault she shares their genes.

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u/SuicidalTorrent Aug 18 '22

Would manslaughter charges stick once the kid dies?

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u/HermanCainShow Team AstraZeneca Aug 18 '22

I reckon there would be ground for negligent homicide charges in that case.

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u/lemon_tea Aug 18 '22

A family we are close with lost their 1.5-month-old daughter. Dad is a nurse and has taken the pandemic VERY seriously. They had managed to avoid COVID but caught it after some family visited that insisted they were safe. COVID blew through the whole family and mom and baby were still testing positive when baby passed in her crib. I don't have the specifics. Quite likely SIDS, but I can't believe having COVID helped in any way, and timing is far too coincidental.

They just had the funeral, and my wife is still checking in on her friend (the mom) every morning. They wanted that baby girl so bad. It's all very heartbreaking.

I don't know that I could stand to look on the face of a family member that caused me to lose my child, and if I were forced to I don't know that I would care that I was going to be held accountable for any of my actions.

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u/fuckthislifeintheass Aug 18 '22

The COVID situation is such a shitty one. I have had relatives that were offended I wore a mask to meet their newborn and also refused to hold her. I waved at her from the edge or her crib but they found if mad disrespectful. Not understanding that I could never forgive myself if I got their new born sick.

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u/dumdodo Aug 18 '22

As a father who's lost a child, I want to take a bazooka to those grandparents.

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u/Interesting_Novel997 Quantum Professor - Team Bivalent Booster Aug 18 '22 edited Aug 18 '22

OP, lesson learned… They would never see that kid again if it was me. But on another note, if this pandemic has taught me anything is that humans are extremely selfish. They wanted to see their grandchild. So they decided that baby’s life was worth the risk to fulfill their immediate wants/desires. That right there tells me all I ever need to know about how much they love their grandchild.

This entire sub is based on and continues based on this revelation.

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u/NessunAbilita Aug 18 '22

It’s not just selfish. It’s the confidence that they know better than everyone else. Narcissistic personalities don’t have to hide anymore.

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u/nico282 Aug 18 '22

At the beginning of the pandemic they said "it will make us better". What the pandemic really did was showing how many idiots are around us, and how selfish some really are.

The world is a sadder place, and not because of the virus.

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u/Interesting_Novel997 Quantum Professor - Team Bivalent Booster Aug 18 '22

You're right, selfish and narcissistic. The world is indeed a sadder place for showing us all the truth. But I am glad I now know...

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u/hummingelephant Aug 18 '22

They wanted to see their grandchild. So they decided that baby’s life was worth the risk

My children's grandfather did something similar. He would wake my infant son up, whenever he came to visit or we visited them and my son was asleep. Even if he had just been falling asleep.

His reason: "I just missed him" or "I just love him so much". Yeah, that's not love

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u/realisticby Aug 18 '22

My stepson and his wife will have their baby on Monday. She's diabetic and baby is showing to be 9lbs at 35 weeks.

So stepson told everyone that they will not have visitors. Period. His mother is antivax and has already given my stepdaughters 1 year old covid.

His mother is livid and says she'll be there anyway.

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u/justSomePesant Aug 18 '22 edited Aug 18 '22 Silver

Let stepson know, they can register privately at the hospital (so no one can call and check up on them) and have it to deny visitors on file so no one gets into the ward.

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u/JustSteph80 Aug 18 '22

This! From what I've seen on reddit boards, L&D nurses are the best bouncers when it comes to protecting their patients.

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u/YourShakeIsLikeAFish Aug 18 '22

This is absolutely something my mother would do. Cannot trust that woman at all.

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u/B00KW0RM214 Prey for the Lab🐀s Aug 18 '22 edited Aug 18 '22

Mine too. Typical narcissist.

We had a vaccination requirement at our wedding last fall, for obvious reasons (including one friend I'd known for 24 years died at the age of 42 the December before the vaccine was available).

My parents refused to get vaccinated so they weren't invited. They, in turn, bashed us to everyone who would listen. But it wasn't "bashing" or "gossip," it was just "family news" because they were "so sad."

There is no doubt in my mind that if I invited them, they would have lied about being vaccinated and attended.

They both have long COVID now, and whine about it. What exactly did they expect would happen?

So now, because I protected my loved ones during my wedding, I no longer speak to my parents. They didn't like it when I explained that they excluded themselves with their selfish actions (after they'd sent the most passive aggressive "congratulations" card you've ever read--it's in my history somewhere) so we're NC.

And I'm SURE they're telling anyone who will listen a sob story about how they don't know why we're not speaking.

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u/UnihornWhale Do you get it yet? Aug 18 '22

Had a similar experience with my mother pre-pandemic. I’m not close to my extended family. I had several relatives my mother nor I had spoken to in at least 5 years. My mother insisted I invite them to my wedding or “I’ll never forgive you and never let this go until I die.”

After the explosion from that fuckery, it was “I just wanted a happy occasion with my family.” Why is that my fucking problem? You had 5+ years to make that happen and didn’t. “My depression is in a tailspin.” Mine too. As long as she doesn’t have to acknowledge my depression, I can be miserable and suicidal.

The whole messy story is in r/JustNoMIL Hall of Shame under Mess. I regret both letting her come to my wedding and not telling the miserable c—t to GTFO. She didn’t leave a card. She has never met my son and never will. When she found out about his existence, “A grandson will give me a reason to live.” Yeah, I made a person to give your life meaning. Die mad about it.

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u/seeBurtrun Aug 18 '22

MIL has been like this lately. FIL refused to get vaccinated, knowing that he wouldn't see his grandbaby until grandbaby is vaccinated at 6 mo+

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u/MARKLAR5 Aug 18 '22

My baby was born in January, in a really bad ice storm a while back. My father, a staunch anti-everything (he compulsively disobeys rules like seatbelts and blinkers), was told he needed to get a flu shot to come see his first ever granddaughter. Instead, he didn't come see her until flu season ended. My mother, my ex's family, everyone else was either already jabbed or got jabbed to come see her. Ridiculous.

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u/that_mack Aug 18 '22

That is one of the most selfish people I have ever heard of in my entire life. Mind blowing. Fucking… blinkers???

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u/MARKLAR5 Aug 19 '22

Yeah, he gets mad when people honk at him all the time too. He's an unnecessarily aggressive driver, loves to hate on BLM and whatever Democrat is trending, the whole workup for someone addicted to outrage.

What's crazy is he taught me how to be a humanist growing up, this psycho anger shit and racism is new, as far as I can tell. I fucking hate conservative media.

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u/BubbaSawya Aug 18 '22

People when Republicans act like Republicans:

“Holy shit can you believe they did such a vile thing?!?”

A conservative will happily kill your baby if it makes them feel right.

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u/BackgroundTax3017 Aug 18 '22

And then shriek about being pro-life and saving unborn children from baby-killing Democrats.

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u/Live-Tomorrow-4865 Aug 18 '22

People blaming the mom 🤬🤬

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u/jellybeansean3648 Aug 18 '22

Right?

How hard is it to take a covid test, mask up, and wash your hands? I wouldn't pull that routine for every day stuff, but I certainly would if I was visiting someone in the hospital.

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u/EnvironmentalMath317 Aug 18 '22

"How hard is it" - these people who refuse are acting like it's worse than the 1930s/1940s Holocaust.

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u/RogerClyneIsAGod2 Team Moderna Aug 18 '22

Was surprised I had to scroll this far for this take.

The comment wasn't about how horrific the grandparents were for endangering their new grandkid & daughter-in-law, but just straight out mom shaming.

I think I'd cut outta my life the person that made that comment along with Grandma & Grandpa.

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u/tobsn Aug 18 '22

Things we learned during COVID

  1. don’t trust morons

  2. everyone is a moron

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u/Wolfwoods_Sister Team Moderna Aug 18 '22

My adoptive parents are struggling with cancer and auto immune illness, and one of their relatives knowingly gave them COVID. They knew my parents were severely compromised and they didn’t stay away from them.

White Jesus evangelical bullshit is stoking and full-on DRIVING this. It enraged me but I couldn’t say anything.

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u/whatizUtawkinbout Aug 18 '22

My MIL didn’t speak to me for a month (win/win) after I wouldn’t let her into my hospital room to meet her granddaughter bringing along with her a newly diagnosed strep throat. People are so stupid.

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u/kaishenlong Aug 18 '22

Yeah, that would be a HARD no contact from me. If I had a kid, five days old, sick with covid because of my parents or in-laws, I would never speak to them again.

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u/meerkatydid Aug 18 '22

The grandparents are pieces of shit. The mother/parent is NOT TO BLAME! New parents need help. That's reality.

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u/CarnageConnoisseur Aug 18 '22 edited Aug 18 '22

The so-called Baby Boomers have a lot to answer for.

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u/sneaky518 CHICKEN SOUP NOT COMMUNISM! Aug 18 '22

These have to be Boomer grandparents who grew up blissfully unaware in the age of vaccine protection. My still-alive but very old Greatest Gen grandparents buried too many sons, daughters, nieces and nephews to not get vaxxed for any disease they can. And they have both taken more covid tests than anyone else I know. My grandmother's first worry about covid vaccines was that they weren't available for kids. She remembered the bad old days of childhood disease.

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u/hummingelephant Aug 18 '22

Yes my mother started to question the vaccines because she has too many crazy religious friends, even though my father is a doctor.

When my grandmother visited us (mother's side), who is an old illiterate lady from a 3rd world country, she was shocked about the things my mother said, because at her time children were dying from diseases and people fighting to get (especially their children) vaccinated.

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u/LadyAlexTheDeviant Aug 18 '22

My boomer mom is very vax positive. She remembers not being able to go to the pool and how afraid everyone was of polio in the summers. She remembers being miserable with measles, and how big a deal it was when smallpox was eradicated.

But she also has always been rational and believed in science. (Now if she'd accept that she has ADHD and didn't try to do all the things all at once....)

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u/jawnly211 Aug 18 '22

We shut down the entire world for the “boomers” back in 2020

G-ma couldn’t wait out a few days until her “allergies” cleared up

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u/MayflyBaggins Natasha Fatale 🐿️💖 Aug 18 '22

I hope mother & baby recover completely. I hope the grandparents are in a nice long time out from visits. Eighteen years should be enough.

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u/Unlucky_Profit_776 ✨Typo Mary🖤 Aug 18 '22

Yo, that's some selfish ignint grandparents there. Whose fucking parents would harm their fucking child/granchild like that??

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u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 18 '22

Narcissists who thought they were doing everyone a favor by "proving" that covid is harmless.

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u/Unlucky_Profit_776 ✨Typo Mary🖤 Aug 18 '22 edited Aug 18 '22

This is what making a country all about convenience for 300 years does. The fucking gluttons keep gluttoning. Stupid teenaged country!

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u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 18 '22

This is what happens when people are led to believe that all opinions are valuable and equal. No Cletus, they're not. You're an unemployed high school dropout. Nothing you think you know about medical science is even factual, much less valuable.

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u/Unlucky_Profit_776 ✨Typo Mary🖤 Aug 18 '22

Yeah lol people confuse equal and valuable with "up for fn debate and factual proof at any fucking time"

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u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 18 '22

A lot of people think that just because everyone is entitled to an opinion, it makes opinions equal and valuable. People who insist that is true are free to let a five year old cure their cancer with M&Ms, and repair their brakes with a magic wand.

Smart people know that actual experts exist.

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u/dabobbo Aug 18 '22

And then if the baby, mother, and grandparent survive, they'll say "See? Covid isn't that bad!" because nothing happened to them personally.

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u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Aug 18 '22

I would cut them entirely out of my life forever. It would indeed affect them.

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u/-KCS-Violator Aug 18 '22

"But if I admit that I have Covid, then the dems win!! Better to risk my newborn grandchild's life."

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u/Gitdupapsootlass Aug 18 '22

I'm sorry, not a parent, but how is it not normal to have people visiting you 5 days postpartum? Isn't that when you need... like... help???!

(I'm genuinely confused, again, not a parent)

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u/NMB4Christmas Everybody's an ass kicker, until they get their ass kicked Aug 18 '22 edited Aug 18 '22

The visit wasn't even 5 days postpartum. It was IN the hospital. When my son was born, both his grandmothers and his uncle visited while he was still in the hospital. These visitors came to the hospital sick, so who knows who else in the hospital was exposed?

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u/ChallyPrime Aug 18 '22

I wear an N95 to the doctors since his office is next to cancer patients. What is wrong with people?

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u/jaymz668 Aug 18 '22

all our medical offices and hospitals around here make masks mandatory still

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u/rrmf Aug 18 '22

Because they are trying to shift the blame onto the mother, rather than putting it squarely at the feet of the selfish fuckers who brought Covid into a newborn's home.

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u/fl0wc0ntr0l Aug 18 '22

Not even their home - OP says it happened at the hospital

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u/BrigidLikeRigid Aug 18 '22

The condescending emojis were the obnoxious icing on that cake for me.

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u/Crispymama1210 Aug 18 '22

Lol people just expect to visit and sit on your couch and hold a newborn. No one helps. I had a traumatic birth injury with my youngest and my parents did the same thing - showed up to hold the baby while I entertained and no one did any housework or actual helping at all. And my mom showed up sick. Thank goodness this was all pre-COVID. Although it still continues. My mom is vaccinated (or so she says; who knows) but decided to skip out on seeing her grandkids last Christmas rather than COVID test to protect my 3 year old. She hasn’t seen them in almost a year which is a lifetime for a preschooler. Lots of grandparents don’t care about anyone but themselves.

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u/Greenmantle22 Aug 18 '22

I’d do the helping stuff. I don’t care for babies and have no great urge to hold a newborn, but I’ll cook someone a meal or clean their kitchen while the rellies are gushing over the little meatloaf in the next room.

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u/Chasman1965 Aug 18 '22

Sad, sad, sad

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u/Interesting_Novel997 Quantum Professor - Team Bivalent Booster Aug 18 '22

Based on her stance on the Covid test, she most certainly is not vaxed.

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u/Crispymama1210 Aug 18 '22

Well if she isn’t she is stupid as fuck because she is overweight, type 2 diabetic with hypertension and 68 years old.

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u/Interesting_Novel997 Quantum Professor - Team Bivalent Booster Aug 18 '22

You’ve seen the winners on this sub. They’re all fluffers with co-morbidities. Sadly, she might be a “winner” one day. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/143019 Aug 18 '22

Because it is very common for family members to visit a new baby? Because it is very common for grandparents to come help a new Mom during the postpartum period?

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u/Gitdupapsootlass Aug 18 '22 edited Aug 18 '22

Yeah exactly! How would someone think this isn't normal? (Edit: we're in agreement I think, maybe you misread my double negative?)

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u/143019 Aug 18 '22 Wholesome

I did! Please accept my apology.

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u/Gitdupapsootlass Aug 18 '22

Lol, easily done!

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u/A-man-of-mystery Covidious Albion Aug 18 '22

It did seem like a spectacularly clueless question.

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u/Silly-Slacker-Person Team Mix & Match Aug 18 '22

They really thought they had her with that reply, as if people have never visited newborns in the hospital before.

This poor woman and her baby. Who knows what kind of long term health problems they will have if they make it through this.

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u/Idontgetredditinmd Aug 18 '22

Not Covid, but this is how my sister killed my mom when her daughter had the flu. She was sure it was just allergies. My mom was immunocompromised and had terrible COPD already. Dead in a week.

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u/DangerousBill Aug 18 '22

Next up, pertussis, which rides in on grandparenty wings and is a rising threat due to antivaxxers..

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u/jellybeansean3648 Aug 18 '22

My SIL is having her first child and mentioned that a doctor had discussed the adults getting the TDAPP.

Not a single person in our family objected to the idea. But then, we're generally liberal and trust medical science.

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u/docityre Aug 18 '22 Take My Energy

I just got my whooping cough vaccine literally 10 minutes ago at 31 weeks pregnant to protect my son and i’m still pulling teeth with my grandfather and childs father/his parents to get the covid and whooping cough vaccine. It drives me fucking bananas. You’d think you’d put your beliefs aside to protect a newborn and yet they’re so convinced in bullshit ideologies. My grandfather thinks the government is trying to kill him and my childs father and his parents believe that “natural immunity” is better.

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u/ThQmas Aug 18 '22

Why the fuck did they immediately jump into victim blaming?

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u/CarnageConnoisseur Aug 18 '22

The same reason any act of cruelty is performed in the name of self validation.

Because they could.

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u/Snoo42225 Aug 18 '22

that hospitals IPAC (infection prevention and control) needs to know before a bunch of babies end up with COVID and an outbreak is declared on the labour and delivery unit. This is reason why you don't visit people in hospital if you have runny/stuffed up nose, cough or consistent sneezing.

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u/Reading-is-awesome Team Moderna Aug 18 '22

I'm firmly childfree. But I always have and always will love, adore and cherish children. Protecting children, babies and pregnant women was simply yet another incentive for me to get fully vaccinated. My mom, who is a Boomer, feels the exact same way and is also fully vaccinated.

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u/Head_Mud6239 Aug 18 '22

My MIL did this same thing to us, except it was another virus and it was within the first 30 days of life. My kiddo was hospitalized with tubes down his nose every few hours to suck the secretions out. He needed breathing treatments to keep his oxygen up.

She came over assuring she was not sick. She was made to wear a mask (kiddo was born in the middle of the flu season and he was premature). She was asked to keep the mask on but ignored us and kissed him on the cheek for the ‘gram shot.

I don’t talk to her stupid a$$ anymore. She had no remorse and does not appreciate that she nearly murdered her grandson for a picture.

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u/AngelaRedHead Team Pfizer Aug 18 '22

I’m truly hoping both mom and baby get well soon.

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u/dog_vomit_lasagna Aug 18 '22

I guess the grandparents liked the idea of having a grandchild more than actually having a grandchild

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u/the_ouskull Aug 18 '22

Do they watch FOX, as so many grandparents do? Then you can't trust them.

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u/BlkWhtOrOther Aug 18 '22

Her parents are garbage and I hope she cuts them out of her life. My mom wanted to be there for the birth of my first child (2013), so I told her she would need to get the pertussis vaccine and bring her shot record, as proof. She refused to get the vaccine, so I told her to stay her ass at home! My child’s life, health, and safety will always matter more than anyone else’s ego. She didn’t meet my son until he was 11 months old and fully vaccinated.

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u/crazylilme Aug 18 '22

Good way for the grandparents to terminate their relationship with their child and grandchild.

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u/shamshield92 Aug 18 '22

So your telling me one of the most selfish generations, whose turn it is now to be grandparents are still selfish shits. I need a shocked pikachu post time meow. Hope the baby is doing fine, went through similar issues with most recent baby up to 1 year no contact due to not wanting a shot. Makes sense

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u/Lightknight16 Aug 18 '22

Nos we know Who is not fit for babysitter

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u/UncertainlyUnfunny Aug 18 '22

Worth it to assume half of relatives are willing tools of foreign governments to be disease vectors in a lethal pandemic.

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u/d0nkey_0die Aug 18 '22

Who is this self-righteous twat asking about having people around your 5 day old?!

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u/Sicmundusdeletur Aug 18 '22

When my second child was born, my mother wore a mask, religiously disinfected her hands and always kept a little distance because she had a runny nose a week before she visited us in the hospital. And that was pre pandemic; if covid had existed back then, she would have happily waited two weeks longer to meet the baby because she actually cares about her grandchildren, you know?

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u/Likherpusisaur Aug 18 '22

If the child dies, I'm wondering if the relative who infected the child can be held criminally liable for "killing" her? I mean, let's be fair: If we're all so dambed gung-ho about wanting to charge women who abort their foetuses with "MURDER," then why couldn't we also advocate persons infecting a vulnerable newborn with a deadly virus or bacterium be charged with at least "MANSLAUGHTER"? I'm just asking a question here.

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u/IncreaseLate4684 Aug 18 '22

Shit, theoretically a true Darwin Award, since their grandparents can destroy their genetic line.

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u/KittenKoder Team Moderna Aug 18 '22

You can't trust anyone when there's a pandemic and antivaxxers are so common.

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u/ergonomicdeskchair Aug 18 '22

Covid aside, we didn’t have anyone visit at the hospital and it was heaven. Just a couple days wife, baby, and me. I still think back and would never change it. Then, at the house, family could come visit, but mask at the instruction of our pediatrician. Some family still scoffed and pushed their bounds but reluctantly caved. Why is it so difficult???

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u/surfdad67 Go Give One Aug 18 '22

Just before Covid, our grandson was born, the wife and I went and got the TDAP vaccine, the rest we were up to date on. Not going to put his life at risk for something I can prevent

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u/Gbin91 Aug 18 '22

This reminds me of my mil/fil. They say they’ve been careful and then invited my partner over with our 2 year old. Fil had a “sinus infection” which was actually Covid. Everyone got it. Partner was PISSED and mil/fil played dumb and have still not taken responsibility fully.

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u/FoxyOViolent Aug 18 '22

I didn’t let anyone except my husband and my midwife around my twins until they were a month old. And then they had to take a Covid test and have their pertussis vaccine. First, because my twin’s health. Second, bc we have newborn twins and are tired and don’t care to deal with anyone else.

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u/Selunca Aug 18 '22

This is how my 2 year old caught Covid. Grandparents waited to tell us they weren’t feeling well till several hours after seeing them. 2 year old ended up with a 104 fever and vomiting for a few days. Thankfully he’s okay. I hope this woman and her baby are alright.

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u/Sam4000der3 Aug 18 '22

You can not trust People in Health concerns

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u/No1Mystery Aug 18 '22

Who matters more?

Your newborn’s health or grandparents feelings?

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u/CortlenC Aug 18 '22

Thinking old people won’t be selfish? First mistake.

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u/KapowBlamBoom Aug 18 '22

Trump told the grandparents it would be OK