r/HermanCainAward A concerned redditor reached out to them about me Sep 12 '22 Helpful 1 Wholesome 1 Take My Energy 1

YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL Meme / Shitpost (Sundays)

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22.1k Upvotes

1.1k

u/deokkent Sep 12 '22

You have a phone.

You are already fucking microchipped.

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u/EveryXtakeYouCanMake Sep 12 '22

100%. And every piece of smart tech you own is spying on you at all times. At least, you might as well assume such.

Bezos knows your location

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '22 edited Oct 02 '22

[deleted]

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u/kuroimakina Sep 12 '22

The older I get, the more and more I lean into FOSS and r/StallmanWasRight territory.

Specifically about digital privacy and the like. He has plenty of other things he is very wrong about.

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u/Mylaur Sep 12 '22

Now that's a rabbit hole and also thanks

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u/MikesGroove Sep 12 '22

There’s a value exchange, though. There’s no value exchange with malware. I don’t understand the line you’re drawing between the two.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '22 edited Oct 02 '22

[deleted]

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u/nexea Sep 12 '22

This is very true. Even companies that think they're keeping your info safe and private usually aren't because even they don't realize who all has access. If you think all of your info is private, you're probably wrong.

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u/B5SnowDog Sep 13 '22

Shit, two out of the three credit bureaus, one state government, and a major credit card company have all had breaches that exposed my info.

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u/IronBabyFists Sep 12 '22

"Digital panopticon" is brilliant

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u/skztr Sep 12 '22

There are plenty of malwares which have a value exchange. If you get to see a desktop stripper, but in exchange your browsing history is tracked and you are shown ads, that's a value exchange. That doesn't mean "desktop stripper" software in the 90s wasn't loaded with malware.

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u/JeromeBiteman Sep 12 '22

Being too young to have heard of "desktop stripper," I checked Wikipedia. Came up with the page for Anette Dawn. Damn!!

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u/The137 Sep 12 '22

Back in the day it was called Spyware. Some cheap program that did something but also grabbed some of your data at the same time. Either your virus scanner also scanned for Spyware, or you had a second, Spyware scanner on there too.

Over time it just became normalized. It was smartphone apps in the early days. Lots of permissions and people would wonder why this flashlight app needed access to your phone book. But they oked it en mass.

I understand what you're saying about the trade of value and its a valid point. Our privacy is worth a lot, but our data is worth pennies. We've chosen to make that trade these days as a society so it's no longer underground.

But make no mistake about it. It was born of malware. Earlier generations of these things were malware. We treated it like a virus.

Normalization is a crazy thing

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u/pauly13771377 Sep 12 '22

Lots of permissions and people would wonder why this flashlight app needed access to your phone book. But they oked it en mass.

I still want to know why my bluetooth thermometer want to know my location. Are they going to pull the roast out of the oven so it won't the overcook?

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u/Dreshna Sep 12 '22

Who knows. Sometimes it is because the API requires you to get permission to use some other relevant feature that has been lumped in with location services. For example it could be a BLE beacon integrated to your thermometer.

https://developers.google.com/nearby/messages/android/get-beacon-messages

BLEs have tons of uses, but the most common one is to track your locations in stores. If you want to see the extent of BLE beacons in the world download an app that lets you view them. Then remember they have a very short range so the density is quite high. Apps for stores will track the beacons near you and use that to track you through the store. There are also services that will take the load off the app developer and let it be buried in middle ware (or maybe even the phone os itself but haven't been able to confirm that).

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '22

[deleted]

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u/IronBabyFists Sep 12 '22

As in "the early days of smart phones," maybe?

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u/The137 Sep 12 '22

We're living in a time of multiple revolutions on par with the industrial revolution, so while most people think of technology as only the transistor revolution we also have the internet revolution and now the data revolution. Each of these 3 is changing our lives on the scale of the industrial.

Smartphones brought people online en mass, which is what Spyware and "legit" data collection piggybacked on. Those would be the early days of the data revolution, imo.

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u/Marc21256 Sep 12 '22

There isn't a value exchange, because there isn't honest and open discussion of the value, and exactly what is being exchanged.

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u/ujustdontgetdubstep Sep 12 '22

Naw I'm all here for it. The convenience is worth it.

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u/yuxulu Sep 12 '22

My boss bought a smart watch with constant on gps.

Me: wow, now if an army shot a missile at ur live location, they can even check ur hearbeat after the fact.

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u/deokkent Sep 12 '22

Before tech came along, it was the social insurance number.

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u/Sad_Barracuda19 Sep 12 '22

Gasp Even Higgins! My roomba?!

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u/rhoduhhh Team Bivalent Booster Sep 12 '22

My phone sells enough data about me, on top of what social media, my bank/credit card company, and online storefronts know. There is no way I'd bring other "smart tech" into my house.

I'm pissed that Amazon bought iRobot (or is trying to buy), so now your roomba will be spying on you, on top of your Ring doorbell and cameras and the like.

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u/maleia Sep 12 '22

I buy offbrand stuff if I need it to be smart. Got some lightbulbs from, fuck who knows. "Lumiman" pfft. It has it's own interface so it doesn't have to connect to Alexa/Google to work. Like, this company isn't even going to exist in a year. They come and go on Amazon all the time.

It feels like that's the only way. Buying offbrand stuff from a company that couldn't afford to store all that data anyway. 🤷‍♀️

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u/TenNinetythree FCK XBB! Sep 12 '22

Don't worry, they might relay data to the PRC

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u/hellakevin Sep 12 '22

They won't exist because they'll be sold.. to a bigger tech company.

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u/EASellsShittyCopper Sep 12 '22

at least with my lights you can cut the hub's internet connection from the modem and it will still work if you're on the same wifi

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u/V4refugee Sep 12 '22

Let them watch, just as long as they pay me when they see my hairy ass fucking my wife. They might even catch me working on my computer or discussing my weekend plans to visit Disney World.

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u/maleia Sep 12 '22

It feels soooo weird to buy a cheap knock off, generic "smart lightbulb" over a brand name, like Amazon or Google device. Like, I know they are tracking that shit when I connect it to their whole network. But this random offbrand one, that has it's own little interface? Yea, storing all that data is definitely too expensive for some rebranding company that won't even exist in a year.

I'll be damned if I start having an Alexa Google Apple Cortana bullshit account, start synchronizing every bit of my data. Naw fuck that.

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u/minicpst Team Pfizer Sep 12 '22

And that goes back to the first one. I’m not special enough to spy on. My life is boring (and after the last several years of stress and scandals, boring is just fine).

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u/maleia Sep 12 '22

That's not really what happens... You yourself aren't that interesting. But your buying/consuming habits are usually consistent and predictable. Most people's are. And that's when targeted ads come into play.

They know you buy products A B and D, but not C, why not? Will you buy E? E has things that are like C. What can be done to convince you to by C?

And you won't be the only one with these same sort of concerns. Maybe for different reasons. But the data shows to show you ads X Y and Z to finally convince you that you need product C.

Maybe it works on you, maybe it doesn't work on you. But it's a numbers game. Throw a wide enough net, with enough automation, and then you're making money off manipulating people.

And someone else can come in and explain how the same data and targeted ads work for political actions.

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u/shouldbebabysitting Sep 12 '22

What can be done to convince you to by C?

If selling my data resulted in that advertising, I'd actually be happy.

But no it's, "I see you bought a lawn mower so let me advertise lawnmowers to you for the next month." Because what everyone needs if they have one zero turn mower, is a second.

Instead my phone number is sold to scammers so I get texts and phone calls with none of them ever learning they are wasting their time on me.

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u/EddieJones6 Sep 12 '22

You’ve had the same Reddit account 10 years. You don’t think someone is out there combing posts and likes for information on users?

It’s selective paranoia. The easiest accessible information is put online by us, either intentionally publicly or through a leaked database. I think your profile paints more of an advertisement picture then where and when your roomba vacuums.

I wouldn’t get a product like tiktok or a gadget I KNEW spied directly on my household. But I’m not going to skip out on a cloud-accessible doorbell because I’m scared there might be someone watching the delivery man hide packages on my doorstep.

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u/maleia Sep 12 '22

You don’t think someone is out there combing posts and likes for information on users?

What? Of course I do. That's not what most aggregated data is. It's not your posts, it's where you post. It's when, it's how you get up/downvoted, gilded, etc, that can be useful in an algorithm (hence why I added "automated").

The easiest accessible information is put online by us, either intentionally publicly or through a leaked database.

Again, the content of my Reddit comments and tweets isn't really an issue for me and most people. That data is no more useful to Amazon, Google, or Apple, than telling them what features you want in a laptop. Yea, that's useful for when you want to buy something. These companies want you to buy something when you didn't already want to. Just like tweeting out about shampoo; sure Amazon will get it to show you shampoo ads.

But it's not that they show you ads that's the fucked up, insidious part. It's that they'll figure out that if they send you an ad for shampoo when you're in a specific geolocation, between a certain hour, you're 75% more likely to buy something frivolous. So they'll hammer that ad at you right then.

I think your profile paints more of an advertisement picture then where and when your roomba vacuums.

Mine doesn't because I'm all over the damn place, porn on main really helps with that. I get targeted ads from Twitter (because I use it for work, I'm on there a lot). I have ad blocks for Reddit, so I rarely see those. 🤷‍♀️

I wouldn’t get a product like tiktok or a gadget I KNEW spied directly on my household.

Yea, same.

But I’m not going to skip out on a cloud-accessible doorbell because I’m scared there might be someone watching the delivery man hide packages on my doorstep.

Yea, my problem is I don't want video from my doorbell being sent to the police without my consent.

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u/EddieJones6 Sep 12 '22

But it's not that they show you ads that's the fucked up, insidious part. It's that they'll figure out that if they send you an ad for shampoo when you're in a specific geolocation, between a certain hour, you're 75% more likely to buy something frivolous. So they'll hammer that ad at you right then.

They can accomplish that without ANY information on you just by tracking clickthrough time and result, and slowly build a profile that way. Or they can throw targeted ads at you based on the data collected from search history, email, social media, etc and track the same results. Location info? IP or route tracing if location services are disabled.

So just an internet connection and ANY public info is enough to profile.

Personally, I don’t care if I’m targeted with relevant ads. I can’t remember the last time I clicked an ad. And I don’t care if some x number of people buy something because of an ad.

Same for political targeting. If someone is so susceptible, they will be manipulated by those around them just as much as the targeted news stories (if not more).

I see why many would be concerned with the doorbell video sharing, but I don’t share that concern. If anything, I’d prefer to have MORE video in emergency situations that require it so that more truth is visible. Just like I want all cops wearing cameras that are always recording. Transparency.

All reasons I won’t sacrifice luxuries to TRY to prevent being a data point. We’re all data points already. No product I buy will expose some intense level of access that isn’t already available. I also know from working in tech that a lot of the paranoia out there is not cost justifiable and feasible at some of the product price points (like people being concerned what information their 20$ smart lightbulb is “listening in” on, processing, and securely publishing to a server somewhere).

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u/maleia Sep 12 '22

I mean, the alternative to doorbell cameras is... Regular security cameras, that are CCTV. >_>

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u/deokkent Sep 12 '22

Information gets compromised en masse. Usually groups of millions of people at a time are targeted. So the risk is not benign. Don't assume herd immunity is sufficient to protect you.

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u/cryptobarq Sep 12 '22

DIY Open Source hardware for the win! Don't have to worry about that nonsense :)

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u/Nikspeeder Sep 12 '22

I dunno when i talk about a topic with someone in person and on the next day i magically have ads about that topic on every facebook owned platform, things get spicy.

Im not even sure how this form of spying is legal or do they just sell that info to our governments?

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u/netherlandsftw Sep 12 '22

Bezos knows way more than just your location

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u/42HxG Sep 12 '22

Sergey Brin and Larry Page know your location.

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u/popemichael I told you I was sick! Sep 12 '22

We lost the war for privacy.

There wasn't even a battle. We just gave it up in exchange for cat pictures, porn, and memes.

The privacy laws are easily circumventable because those laws prevent companies from TAKING your info.

There is no need to take your information as we readily give it up CONSTANTLY.

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u/deokkent Sep 12 '22

Years down the line - we will have digital human rights. It will be a while until this is fully implemented and enforceable, probably not in our lifetime.

It would be interesting to see how non allied countries react to this though.

In any case, the groundwork has already begun.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digital_rights

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u/deokkent Sep 12 '22

And there is also this.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_Data_Protection_Regulation

It's not 100% perfect however the future looks bright ...

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u/JerseySommer Sep 12 '22

And it's not even good porn :/

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u/Juviltoidfu Sep 12 '22

And even if someone is microchipping people, Bill Gates and the company he became rich while running was a software company and not one that designed microchips. At least pick a person and company that would have the technical know how and facilities for doing what you are alleging.

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u/slumberus Sep 12 '22

because BG is very visible in the cultural conscious. Lots of conspiracy theories are 'inspired' from what you find and watch on TV/movies.

"If there isn't a movie about it, it's not worth knowing, is it?"

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u/Seguefare Sep 12 '22

Also he is very open about his big philanthropic projects, and I think that places him in the Evil Liberal Overlords category, that teeming mass, along with Soros.

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u/Reasonable-Leg4735 Drunk Fox News interview Sep 12 '22

While we're at it, someone where I live is distributing flyers talking about the REAL organization behind the global empire of the antichrist....wait for it....

Home Depot.

I can't even. I don't know why they didn't just pick Amazon, who I think you could make a real case for as a company out to conquer the world.

Alas, I have so many questions.

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u/GreyGreenBrownOakova Sep 12 '22

It's based on one widely shared article, under the headline: "Bill Gates will use microchip implants to fight coronavirus".

The article makes reference to a study, funded by The Gates Foundation, into a technology that could store someone's vaccine records in a special ink administered at the same time as an injection.

However, the technology is not a microchip and is more like an invisible tattoo.

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u/whmike419 Sep 12 '22

And we paid for the chipping ourselves.

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u/EveryXtakeYouCanMake Sep 12 '22

Exactly. These people know what's really going on. They're just playing stupid.

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u/Special_Ed2018 Sep 12 '22

that's what's so comical about saying Gates is chipping them: they willingly carry around their own personal locator, but The Windows Phone failed even with the kind of tracking they allow. Besides, Microsoft doesn't make chips, it buys them from abroad.

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u/chr15c Sep 12 '22

Someone playing Pokemon Go was complete shocked when I said that her walking around data is being sold by bulk on the daily.

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u/Chpgmr Sep 12 '22

It costs a lot of money to microchip people. You also have to replace the microchip every so often.

Or you can get them to buy the microchip themselves maybe multiple, willingly put all their info on it, keep their info updated, buy the replacement as often as they like, and even buy apps and accessories for it.

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u/FjorgVanDerPlorg Sep 12 '22

"We were looking at invasive surgical implants, but the costs were actually much higher, plus it turns out that microphones are better at recording when they aren't surgically inserted inside the person. Luckily people seem happy to carry them round, they are even willing to buy these surveillance devices used to spy on them."

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u/DiogenesLoveTub Sep 12 '22

What is the most dramatic way I can say this^

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u/Blarghnog Sep 12 '22

I always tell them their location is tracked constantly and resold to the highest bidder in near real-time to drive their loyalty, subtly influence their politics, shape their purchasing behavior without their knowledge, and allow them to be targeted.

We don’t need chips. You’ve already given us more then we ever need.

Because that’s basically what location-based advertising (with attribution!) plus a rtb network can do.

They scoff. They literally think I’m kidding. They think I’m making it up — the chips in the shot!

I’m not.

Not sure whether it’s a commentary on modern advertising or just how crazy conspiracies have become, or both.

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u/LoudMusic Sep 12 '22

Google location history from my phone.

https://i.imgur.com/8dIfLoK.png

No injected microchip necessary.

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u/Demented-Turtle Sep 12 '22

Damn you've been around

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u/LoudMusic Sep 12 '22

There's a bunch more I've been to that wasn't even captured by Google. The Time Before Tracking. And I cropped out all of my travels outside of USA and CN.

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u/MageMasher_Online Sep 12 '22

Well I hope whoever is watching me has found new AV to add to their collection

I just wish they would share their codes with me 😭

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u/skztr Sep 12 '22

With modern AI we can track your movements better than a microchip could anyway

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u/donottakethisserious Sep 12 '22

that's not really good enough though since you can just leave it at home or in your car. All people are worth microchiping and it would help government keep people in check, which is needed especially now with a little less than half of the country basically being terrorists in the USA (every last person who voted for Trump, at least the ones who did it twice).

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u/MadBeachLui Ivermectin tuna helper 🦄 Sep 12 '22

at least the ones who did it twice

In the same election in some cases.

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u/Chris9-of-10 Urine Therapy Sep 12 '22

Worthless

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u/illgot Sep 12 '22

me side eyeing the guy I work with who carries an iPhone everywhere, posts constantly on Facebook but also tells me he isn't getting vaccinated because the government is tracking you using chips in the vaccine...

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u/wave-garden Sep 12 '22

This was my thought exactly. I’m not worth the EFFORT to microchip, but the Snowden revelations from 9 years ago show us that we are worth “microchipping”. It’s not free either. As far as we know, the annual NSA budget is $10B, though it seems obvious that they probably spend more than that. Also it’s taxpayer dollars. So effectively we are paying them to spy on us. Good times lol.

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u/Altruistic-Text3481 Sep 12 '22

My hubby & I tested this.
I said, “I’m hungry for potatoes.”
I got sent immediately recipes for making different potato dishes. I did not Google anything. My hubby got sent recipes too. Instantly. More instant than instant potatoes.🤦‍♀️

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u/dumbleydore94 Sep 12 '22

Came here to say this

You have a cellphone, you basically chipped yourself.

Change my mind.

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u/Xx_Khepri_xX Sep 12 '22

Why even microchip anyone? Every one of those fucks has a phone smarter than them with Facebook loaded on it.

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u/Revenant_Imp Sep 12 '22

Okay nobody likes to hear this but the microchipping idea was a legitimate proposal by a gates foundation startup. It was during the migrant crisis in Europe and the idea was to microchip people like we do dogs so they could be identified. Migrants were intentionally sinking ships in the Mediterranean so the coast guard would save them, then lying about their identity and ages because they “lost their papers” in the sea.

It was essentially just a proposal to identify migrants

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u/Darnell2070 Sep 12 '22

Why would the Gates Foundation be interested in this?

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u/Revenant_Imp Sep 12 '22 edited Sep 12 '22

They fund a lot of human rights stuff, especially in the developing world. It was to help people prove their identity when crossing borders to make it easier to apply for asylum

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u/Pied_Piper_ Team Pfizer Sep 12 '22

<Citation needed>

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u/Revenant_Imp Sep 12 '22

It was listed as a possible approach for the ID2020 program (back in 2016 I believe) but they’ve since updated their wording to be more vague, as the blatant suggestion of human microchipping turned out to be controversial.

https://id2020.org/

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u/ServeInfinite Sep 12 '22

And even if it was microchipping to study mass tendencies, there are much more efficient ways to do it… like the entire internet and cellular devices

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u/rmimsmusic Sep 12 '22

I absolutely do not believe in the microchip conspiracy, but I'd imagine with a microchip that is injected into your body, the value of that would be that you'd be able to look more closely at vitals: insulin, adrenaline, hormones, etc. that are pumping throughout you as you react to stimuli.

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u/ServeInfinite Sep 12 '22

That is a great idea! Although, correct me if I’m wrong bc I’m not a biologist or healthcare professional, I don’t think it would be possible to test or analyze a whole lot of things from a microchip. I believe a lot of blood tests require chemical reactions to be observed by mixing blood with certain products or even just by analyzing it through a microscope. I fail to see how it would be possible with any kind of microchip.

Again, I’m just theorizing here. I don’t have any kind of expertise in healthcare or biology. Microchips may already be in use right now in preventive measures for all I know.

That’s another interesting topic I’ll have to read about tonight, I’m curious!

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u/goldentamarindo Sep 12 '22

Lab-on-a-chip technology is a bit related to this, but technically it does everything outside of the body.

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u/FlamboyantPirhanna Sep 12 '22

My friend is diabetic and has a thing implanted in his arm that he can scan with his phone to check his blood sugar level. So this already exists.

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u/forty_three Sep 12 '22

Yep, plus virtually every fitness tracking watch or arm band can measure at least some vitals

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u/Demented-Turtle Sep 12 '22

Yeah but it's a whole chip that can ONLY detect insulin levels, and it has to be replaced every so often because the battery dies. Any vaccine microchip would have been dead within a month max, so the "experiment" would be over now anyways

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u/SaltineFiend Sep 12 '22

I imagine the company that invented the perpetually-on microchip AND antenna capable of wirelessly transmitting the data AND battery capable of powering them both indefinitely which can be injected via saline solution and does not interfere in any biological processes wouldn't stay silent about it and would instead be selling it for every possible medical use under the sun because it would be a miracle product and make that company one of the richest companies in the world.

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u/wansuitree Sep 12 '22

The microchipping narrative proves how eager people are to forfeit their own agency on the effectiveness, utility and dangers of a free medical product in favor of ridiculing the lowest and most idiotic criticism to make believe they made the right decision.

That's how this works regardless of vaccine usefulness.

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u/death_of_gnats Sep 12 '22

Dude. If the vast majority of professionals in that particular area of study tell you that a vaccine is effective then, no matter how many YouTube's you've watched, they are far more likely to be correct than you.

Far more likely.

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u/Estoye Team Moderna Sep 12 '22

"Oh look. They went to the gas station for another pack of Newport Lights... Just as I suspected."

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u/Easy-Bake-Oven Sep 12 '22

How fucking important do you think you are that someone would want to microchip you? Like most people go to work, maybe the gas station, sometimes the grocery store, and then home. What data could they possibly get from the average Joe's habits.

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u/RetardedSheep420 Sep 12 '22

also, phones probably track you at all times so "big tech" or whoever the fuck probably knows that you go to the gas station daily

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u/Seguefare Sep 12 '22

Did you enjoy your trip to Scotchman #317? Would you like to rate them?

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u/regeya Sep 12 '22

Heh, I went to a park area in town to clear my head on a path, and Google wanted me to rate it. To this day my rating for a damn wooded area is my highest-viewed rating.

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u/dastardly740 Sep 12 '22

They don't know who is important a priori, they microchip everyone to find the 1 in a million that is important. And, since I am a temporarily down on my luck billionaire I am a threat to the Illuminati (Hydra?) So, they will keep me from realizing financial success... Duh...

In writing that out I realized it is the plot to Captain America: The Winter Soldier without the assassinations from above. They also didn't need to microchip everyone to identify threats.

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u/New_Membership_2937 Sep 12 '22

I feel so bad for the person who has to monitor my day to day shit. Went to work AGAIN. Brought lunch, bought shit at the cafeteria anyways, …..

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u/MysterVaper Sep 12 '22

It’s fucked up when they crunch your data and see you are overlapping the ‘high anxiety’ group or the ‘colon cancer risk’ group, and instead of alerting you to this, decide to push alarming news articles your way or advertise predatory insurance to your internet viewing.

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u/dumdodo Sep 15 '22

Your afternoon coffee break was 19 minutes instead of 10 minutes today.

I reported that to your boss, who is also a member of the Illuminati, as I am. Expect to get reamed out tomorrow, and probably fired.

Data like this is necessary for us to keep the proles in line.

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u/Atticus104 Sep 12 '22

Can we also point out the irony that the "new social media" platforms they make are incredibly nonsecure

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u/SlowTheRain Sep 12 '22

This gave me a chuckle. No need to microchip. The supposed cabal can just hack everything from the slapped together app that required them to give up their personal info.

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u/spaceyjaycey Team Moderna Sep 12 '22

It's funny cuz it's true.

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u/KrampyDoo Crossing the Vent Horizon Sep 12 '22

I saved this so hard that the ghost of Steve Jobs just asked me if I was ok.

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u/DoublePetting Sep 12 '22

What data do people who are afraid of this think the microchip would collect? Anything your phone doesn't already know?

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u/VapoursAndSpleen Sep 12 '22

They are all cheating on their spouses and their diets.

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u/Eorlas Sep 12 '22

back when i was a vet tech, we’d microchip pets to help them get ID’d in case they get lost and someone takes them to an animal hospital.

theyre small, but not vaccine small. the needle delivering them is painfully large. 16ga IIRC? the few times some poor soul was given one when not under anesthesia got some topical lidocaine. it still really hurt.

they did not have GPS or even bluetooth in them. i’d bet they still dont now.

they required this really weird looking scanning tool. it seemed unnecessarily large for its purpose.

its only function was to output the number associated with the chip.

owners had to register and maintain registration with the manufacturer to have their contact information.

we’d have to call in to get associated info.

even if they’d made these small enough to sneak in with a vaccine:

*your existence is not relevant enough for anyone to give a fuck about you to care to spend the money to do this.

moreover, all the info anyone actually wants off of you they already have.

bill gates especially doesnt care about you*

not sure who needed to hear that, but if youre around, that’s for you. if youre still convinced it’s a microchip delivery system, not even jesus can help you.

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u/jrcchicago Sep 12 '22

20 years ago I was still having to explain to older relatives that Bill Gates doesn’t give a shit about tracking your email, so forwarding spam to their entire contact lists would earn them neither $5,000 nor a free trip to Disney World (IIRC, there were two versions of the email going around).

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u/jrcchicago Sep 12 '22

Ha! Found it. Apparently it moved to Facebook for a while once it became a thing. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/bill-gates-5000-giveaway/

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u/Meta_Spirit Sep 12 '22

Let's say everyone was chipped. WHERE in the actual FUCK would all of that data go, do you know how much information that is?!

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u/DiogenesLoveTub Sep 12 '22

The same place you mobile data goes, which is why a tiny microchip in your arm would be stupid and redundant.

9

u/king_john651 Sep 12 '22

And something that small will 100% be passively powered, as in that when it is scanned - but where would that happen? If the general practitioner is doing that there are hundreds of thousands of people who would have to know worldwide, and statistically if it's meant to be secretive... Well, it just simply won't be. There'd be irrevocable proof. Media would be all over it and the people behind it would be facing a lot of charges with just HIPA violations alone (let alone other rules around the world).

It's ignoring the fact that the tech doesn't exist, too. Tech giants are barely struggling with brain implants to do anything but be a money pit, let alone a microscopic system-on-chip that does... Whatever the current conspiracy says it is. It's always funny to see the mental gymnastics of the day

3

u/rmimsmusic Sep 12 '22

which is why a tiny microchip in your arm would be stupid and redundant.

I love conspiracy theories because I love sci-fi. But I'd imagine that the microchip is recording something that the mobile data cannot. The microchip is injected and is apparently inside you. It could be measuring things like hormones, insulin levels, plaque buildup, etc. while also giving a timestamp as to what you're physically doing, or interacting with.

13

u/death_of_gnats Sep 12 '22

And what's supplying all that power to run that chip? And to broadcast it from somewhere inside your body. And what's stopping the body from encysting it?

7

u/Interesting_Dare_640 Sep 12 '22

Or embolizing into a vessel? Not one stroke or MI caused by this mass microchipping?

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u/Wisconsin_Joe Quantum Massage Therapist Sep 12 '22

I love conspiracy theories because I love sci-fi.

These aren't conspiracy 'theories'.

They are conspiracy fantasies.

Theories require supporting evidence. And a lot of it.

These dipshits just make up some outlandish fantasy, usually with themselves as a main character, and invent all sorts of ridiculous crap.

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u/maleia Sep 12 '22

I mean, that's not really an issue for a government agency. We know the NSA saves ungoldly amounts of internet traffic. Which even with the evidence, I still find hardly believable.

Private companies along like Fitbit and Google, Apple, Facebook especially, are entirely capable, and actively do, track and save data on billions of people.

On the flipside to show how tiny, but still meaningful data sizes can be: All of the text for Wikipedia only gets to just over 20gb Wikipedia is arguably fucking huge.

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u/MafiaMommaBruno Team Moderna Sep 12 '22

Apple and Samsung both already know where you live, who you talk to, what you watch, how your feet look, what you did last summer, etc. The microchips are handheld. 5G is already here.

Besides. If they really wanted you microchipped, they'd just find other ways. Like putting water proof chips in all the water. Nestle approved, for sure.

6

u/Vauhiglidiigallydoon Sep 12 '22

Are you saying that I have less worth than my cat?

Actually, okay fair enough... carry on.

22

u/-SmackMyBitchUp- Sep 12 '22

Human behavior is so fucking predictable, for the most part. The US has insane A.I. capabilities. Most social media has a notebook of your emotions, Snapchat has your face and features, your phone's mic knows your voice when you're stressed or normal.

You are a walking product for corporations to get info off you for free to learn how to sell to you. Fresh crispy chicken is the new greasebucket of fried chicken. Same product, different words to make you feel better when it's the same recycled sawdust and processed cheese on a 100% real* beef burger.

Probably secretly do want to chip you to make the next Apple Liver™ or Samsung pancreas™ /s

4

u/CrossCuntryTours Sep 12 '22

That sounds delicious. Now I'm hungry. Damn you, influencer. How did you know?

2

u/SlowTheRain Sep 12 '22

your phone's mic knows your voice when you're stressed or normal.

I'd legit pay for this assistive feature since many humans tell me they can't read my emotions.

4

u/ToweringIsle13 Sep 12 '22

Well now I want one!

6

u/evil_timmy Sep 12 '22

Why would they want or need to microchip the already compliant ones who do what they're told? If I were that conspiracy minded, I'd suspect an evil power of wanting to list the rebellious nonconformists and chip them while they sleep.

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u/ForgetfulPorn8 Sep 12 '22

I've 3 COVID jabs and still can't get 5G at home! Who do I complain to?

No, but seriously, I don't like the idea of being microchipped - well, not entirely. The idea of being able to use it as ID is...intriguing. Maybe even for contactless payments?

My concern is chip migration. Presenting the back of you hand to a scanner is one thing...but if that moves and you have to try hoist your arse up to the checkout girl? Yeah...that's gonna cause some embarrassment!

(I may have lied about being serious...)

4

u/Gilgamesh2062 Sep 12 '22

The people worried about chips being placed in them, are the people that nobody would want or need to chip in the first place.

They tell you everything they think and do on facebook, and nobody cares.

4

u/lovespunstoomuch Sep 12 '22

My wife would want a call if I got lost and picked up by animal control or someone nice took me in to a vet. She’d probably come get me.

4

u/dumbleydore94 Sep 12 '22

If you have a cellphone, you basically chipped yourself

Change my mind.

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u/Interesting_Dare_640 Sep 12 '22

Main Character Syndrome strikes again. No one cares about your office job or your bowling league.

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u/SmoothConfection1115 Sep 12 '22

Hold on! I’m going to attempt to change his mind!

The people that are not for the vaccine, and are doing all the stupid things that earn them HCA’s awards, are essentially the people that thousands of years ago, natural selection would’ve taken care of.

But the people who got the vaccine, are the smarter ones that realize they don’t want long Covid, or other life long problems.

So if some crazy rich powerful person, ever wanted to chip the more intelligent people of humanity, this is the perfect opportunity!

Did I change your mind at least like…0.01% to consider this as less crazy then other crazy theories?

5

u/M4A1STAKESAUCE Urine God’s hands 🙌 Sep 12 '22

No.

4

u/DiogenesLoveTub Sep 12 '22

No is correct, they already know what you think based on your mobile data.

5

u/killerkaleb Sep 12 '22

Good on you for trying ig

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u/ManufacturerOpening6 📐📐Bring on the Weeping Angles!📐📐 Sep 12 '22

I would love if we could microchip /GPS kids and elderly. Make it easier to locate missing persons.

3

u/NoReasontoStay Sep 12 '22

Smart watches do this

2

u/ManufacturerOpening6 📐📐Bring on the Weeping Angles!📐📐 Sep 12 '22

True, but only helps if watch is being worn.

7

u/JustSteph80 Sep 12 '22

I've actually thought it would be a good idea to have a microchip for medical emergencies. Who to contact, blood type, health issues, allergies.

4

u/ReynardTheFozz Sep 12 '22

That would be dope, also wouldn't need some advanced stuff, we already have passive chips that can do that.

2

u/JustSteph80 Sep 13 '22

Right? Even something similar to what we use to microchip pets would probably work.

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u/SilverFilm26 Sep 12 '22

My aunt posts every minute of her life to Facebook. She asked me when vaccines were rolling out what I thought about them and if I really thought they were putting microchips in them.

I tried EXTREMELY hard not to explode laughing in her face. Calmly explained how ludacris the idea was and why she of all people (two time cancer survivor) should really really get vaccinated.

Luckily she listened and got the shot, but that convo was wild.

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u/RumpleForeskinqq Sep 12 '22

Love how these ridiculous conspiracies disappear quietly lesivjg behind some embarrassed idiots who have moved onto something more fake and dumber.

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u/tinymongoose909 Sep 12 '22

If you have a cell phone youre already microchipped.

3

u/bastardicus Sep 12 '22

Oooh. Saying that pisses them off, real bad. I love it.

3

u/3nd1ess Sep 12 '22

I have an aunt and uncle that serve in the military. They said to me that if they could have put microchips into our soldiers to track them, they would have. Missing soldier? Gone AWOL? You know exactly where they are at all times.

3

u/notislant 🦆 Sep 12 '22

Remember everyone, you can do your part to fuck with these idiots by changing your wifi name to something like 'Vaccine activation center'

3

u/renasissanceman6 Sep 12 '22

Same with the NSA listening to your convos.

You aren’t that interesting!!

3

u/Arkangel_Ash Sep 12 '22

I always wondered what kind of bad stuff these nutjobs are really doing to be so afraid of being watched. Secret moonshine distillery? Child porn? In Texas, I've heard way too many stories about self proclaimed "patriots" who got busted for tax evasion, embezzlement, or taking bribes.

3

u/The_Patriot A concerned redditor reached out to them about me Sep 12 '22

its always diddling the kids.

Especially if they are home schooling.

3

u/dhoffnun Sep 12 '22

A truth more painful than covid: none of this has ever been about you

2

u/ACheesyApproach Sep 12 '22

"I'M SPECIAL, I WAS BIT 10 MINUTES AGO AND I'M fiiiiiiiine" "Oh great, nobody's special!"

2

u/blender4life Sep 12 '22

If what we watch on YouTube and read on reddit is worth money to them, they'll definitely chip us. (Don't know if I need to say it but I don't believe the chip shit lol)

2

u/IHC_304 Sep 12 '22

No shit

2

u/Reasonable-Reply-669 Sep 12 '22

Especially if you are a qtard or Trump traitor supporting POS.

2

u/MageMasher_Online Sep 12 '22

Yes yes some 1st century Jew wrote a book for other 1st century Jews, who knew what the 1st century author was writing about.

But I’m pretty sure he intended that Americans, in a continent he never knew existed, 2000 years after he wrote knew what the correct interpretation was

2

u/Mokie81 Sep 12 '22

Come on, man. How else will the dog find me?

2

u/AsherTheFrost Sep 12 '22

Why waste time building, testing and mass producing a microchip to track people when all you have to do is promise them a fancy camera on the new phone?

2

u/Exsous Sep 12 '22

Microchip cost: probably thousands - My net worth: negative thousands

2

u/SeptemberMcGee Sep 12 '22

Was trying to explain to a guy I know about this (he deep in every conspiracy). No one cares, go to work, go home, beat off to porn hub, order pizza. No one cares. No one is microchipping you and recording your lame life.

2

u/isthismustmist Sep 12 '22

My dog is microchipped....

2

u/meatball402 Sep 12 '22

You paid $1000 to be microchipped when you bought your phone.

Why would bill pay for it lol

2

u/pickelsurprise Sep 12 '22

Finally, a version of this meme that removes Crowder's stupid face. If only it took his logo off the mugs too.

2

u/missuskittykissus Sep 12 '22

I would make the argument for why they would collect so much seemingly useless data on everyone, then. But that's honestly just to make $$$ with targeted ads. As lackluster of an answer as that is.. I still wish they would stop, though.

But we've all already got cell phones, anyways. Why would they even need to chip us? Go ahead, turn off location services, that'll surely stop it lol

2

u/AdBrief6969 Sep 12 '22

Disagree. You're already microchipped. Phones watches thermostats Alexa etc etc.

But better more efficient chipping is still beneficial

2

u/rosiestinkie9 Sep 12 '22

I am. I know all the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle lore possible and I've been on the run from Microsoft since I turned 18. They need what I have.

2

u/Paracausality Sep 12 '22

You're not special, but microchips are cheap, and your data makes us money!

But no your not chipped. Unless you count your phone.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '22

You know they put it inside your belly button just before they put the clip on your umbilical cord, right?

That's why they clip it, to stop it falling out.

2

u/GekidoTC Sep 12 '22

Yeah, also, the government could just go full China and post a face recognizing camera on every street corner. You'll never go anywhere without them knowing. There is literally no need to microchip anyone.

2

u/deminotaur Sep 12 '22

Everyone will be assigned a number of the beast!

(Social security numbers exist)

2

u/revenentevil Sep 12 '22

Why microchip your body...please tell me...where do you go without your phone? 🤣🙄

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u/Likherpusisaur Sep 12 '22

T H I S !!! 😁

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u/CaptainBunderpants Sep 12 '22 edited Sep 12 '22

I in no way believe the stupid conspiracy that there were microchips in the COVID vaccines, but, that being said, this is such a stupid take. Maybe as an individual you’re not worth mocrochipping but on a statistical level. Yes. You. Are. Any intimate data they can get on us, they will get. How can you think this in a post PRISM world? Actually, not even post PRISM. It still exists. You’re acting like insidious collection of intimate personal data on a societal scale has never happened before but it’s literally the way of the world. It’s one of the foundations of modern society.

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u/JustSteph80 Sep 12 '22

They don't need an expensive & complicated microchip in a vaccine to do it. Pretty much everyone already carries a cell phone. And a large percentage of them make it ever easier via social media.

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u/RepostersAnonymous Sep 12 '22

You carry a device that can do all of that far better than some COVID microchip ever could.

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u/bErinGPleNty Because Other People Matter Too Sep 12 '22

Hilarious. That's it, of course!

1

u/Disastrous_Belt_7556 Sep 12 '22

He should have actually done that…

1

u/PadmePoops 🥒 Qcumber Qonspiracist 🤪 Sep 12 '22

Im not saying i agree with the micro chip thing but, if anyone is worth micro chipping wouldn't be everyone ?

1

u/tr0nfunkinbl0w01 Sep 12 '22

After Uvalde I’m not so sure about this.

1

u/penisofablackman Sep 12 '22

Then why do Facebook and Google band over backwards giving us free services and features just for our “worthless” data? They spend billions to develop and operate these products that they let us use for “free”. How is our “nOt SpEcIaL” data worth that much to them?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '22

It’s already in your pocket. And yes you’re not important. They just want your money.

1

u/InstantClassic257 Sep 12 '22

The people that think they are being spied on only care because in their fucked up minds, they think that ONLY THEY hold secret information about government conspiracies.

These people need help.

1

u/Francl27 Sep 12 '22

Lmao it's my reaction to everyone being worried about their data being watched etc.

Nobody cares about me that much that I have to worry about it.

1

u/Balls_DeepinReality Sep 12 '22

But you are definitely worth the data you produce.

Just look at Facebook.

1

u/Whole-Performance-15 Sep 12 '22

I don’t think anyone should have commented on this. Should have just been an accepted upvote in complete agreement. No further commentary needed.

1

u/giveyuhtheraz Sep 12 '22

Then why are company's constantly trying to steal my data? Why are they targeting me with special targeted adds if I'm not important enough? Gosh darn I wish I was as unimportant as you think we all are

1

u/PrimalAggression Sep 12 '22

As a population as a whole it is definitely beneficial for control.

1

u/Chromazx Sep 12 '22

not worth a microchip but they will spy on us all everyother way.

1

u/BRD8 Sep 12 '22

Jokes on you I already microchipped myself

1

u/POD80 Sep 12 '22

I have several chips installed in cards in my wallet, and of course my cell phone. All identify me for various reasons...

Someone somewhere cares enough to know who I am.

I don't understand the panic of the conspiracy nuts at the idea of an imbedded microchip.

1

u/IddyBittyGirl Sep 12 '22

No one is special but we all are different. We all live and die alone without ever knowing what happens after. Such is the life we are given

1

u/GrBBabu Sep 12 '22

I disagree. micorchipping isn't just for you. It's for your data and of those you interact with. Even if you're unimportant, people around you could be and hence makes sense to micro chip everyone.

1

u/w3bCraw1er Sep 12 '22

Zuck: You are not worth stealing your data.

Oh wait 😮

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '22

The idea that everyone is as unimportant as you is dumb as fuck. If you cast a wide enough net you're going to catch people who, even if they aren't enemies of schizophrenic/powerful people today, might be in 5-10 years from now.

1

u/don_denti Sep 12 '22

Get micromosomed instead