r/HermanCainAward 💰1 billion dollars GoFundMe💰 Sep 16 '22 Helpful 1

Branlo, nominee from 2021, loved Trump, God, wrestling and riding. He thought Covid was all a scam, and communism. Delta got offended, paid him a visit to correct the situation, enabling him to receive his award. Awarded


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u/4quatloos Let that zink in Sep 16 '22 edited Sep 16 '22

Loved Trump and God, in that order! It always makes me laugh when I see these descriptions. Of course it is sad too.

Also: The "You better respond to my God meme or else!" is a classic.


u/Goose_o7 I am The TOOTH FAIRY! Sep 16 '22

Also: The "You better respond to my God meme or else!" is a classic.

Yet they refuse to live in fear. WTF? These defective people are insane.


u/tullia Sep 16 '22

They don’t have to live in fear because they picked the right side — well, they were born on what they’re sure is the right side, and they’re sure they’d somehow know if it were wrong, and they know for sure for sure that if they were on the wrong side, they’d leave, damn the temporary consequences. So yes, this is the right side because they know it is and they know it is because it’s the right side.

Coincidentally, the right side comes with its own ass-kicking overlord. If you’re on the right side, all you have to do is keep saying you’re on the right side and the overlord won’t smite you. In fact, he’ll give you anything you want! If people on your side don’t get what they want, it means that the overlord knew about their secret disloyalty and exposed them as wrong-siders by not giving them what they asked for. The overlord sees these things so clearly! Those misfortune-stricken lowlifes were never really on our side! That’s why they suffer!

Now, the rest of you out there, all you wrong-siders? You’d better be scared! You’re on the wrong side and the overlord will punish you for picking the wrong side! You think you know the right side? Who do you think you are, us? You’re just deluded and stupid, wrong-siders! You’re too dumb to know you’re wrong or too cowardly to leave! It’s too bad you weren’t lucky enough to be born on the right side, but you’re lucky enough to have us explain to you why you’re wrong and cowardly. And because we’re right, it’s obvious what we said is true, and you should come over to the right side, and then you can stop being afraid!

Not convinced? It’s okay. Take comfort in the fact that when you’re burning in hell, we’ll click our mojito glasses together and think about how dumb and wrong you were before we go back to sunning ourselves by the great pool in the sky.