r/HermanCainAward ✨ A twinkle in a Chinese bat's eye ✨ Nov 28 '22

Another instalment in the Covid-19 prophet-sharing plan - "Loon" and her husband both got Covid around November 11, with him being hospitalized. She has scrubbed some of her posts describing this, and stopped posting altogether about 10 days ago. Nominated

583 Upvotes

96 comments sorted by

131

u/ermghoti Ask your M.D. if suffocating on dead lungs is right for you! Nov 28 '22

Well, I'm no prophet, but when I see Candace and Garrison, I know what's coming next.

91

u/Deathbeddit 🦆🦃🦢🦜🦆🦅🐓🦩 Nov 28 '22

For a minute, I thought Candace was sick and in radio silence for 10 days and this was the first I was hearing about it. That was a really nice minute.

5

u/derelict_wanderer Twitter Antibodies 💉🐤 Nov 29 '22

I'm no prophet either, but I foresee neither of them learning their lesson...

-1

u/GreatWealthBuilder Team Unicorn Blood 🦄 Dec 01 '22

I haven't worn a mask or gotten the shots. Enjoyed multiple trips, events, gatherings.. have yet to get sick. Must be that unicorn blood. ^.^

Been actively seeking the unicorn virus since 2020. Maybe next year I'll get lucky!!

1

u/Alt_ctr Dec 04 '22

Stupid and rxtardxd anti vaxxer.

119

u/famousevan Nov 28 '22

Every single day I am reminded that republicans really are the stupidest people in history.

31

u/Revenga8 Nov 29 '22

It's the GOP playbook. They try to push through policies to keep people stupid because that's what makes up their voter base. Stupid god fearing people are easy to manipulate by republicans politicians. There's a reason trump said he loved the poorly educated, he was simply blurting out the part of the GOP playbook he was supposed to keep quiet about because he couldn't help himself.

7

u/MageMasher_Online Nov 29 '22

My favorite one is when that senator trotted out a pre-Covid shot disabled girl to prove that Covid shot causes disabilities

22

u/plutonionhawk Smuggles 5G Nov 28 '22

Not really. There's plenty of really thick af people in the UK spewing the same rhetoric as American republicans. It honestly baffles me

41

u/pyrrhios Nov 28 '22

They're brainwashed by the same propaganda from Rupert Murdoch and friends.

19

u/Haskap_2010 ✨ A twinkle in a Chinese bat's eye ✨ Nov 28 '22

We have our share in Canada as well.

3

u/Shady_Garden Go Give One Nov 29 '22

Mostly in Alberta, right? ;-)

3

u/Haskap_2010 ✨ A twinkle in a Chinese bat's eye ✨ Nov 30 '22

A few in Saskatchewan and BC as well. I imagine there are some scattered all over the country.

0

u/GreatWealthBuilder Team Unicorn Blood 🦄 Dec 01 '22

Stupid and smart people both left and right. Most people are in the middle... both smart and dumb.

Both government parties are wings from the same evil monster though. Doesn't really matter which party is in.

58

u/Alarmed_Handle_6427 Nov 28 '22

Slide 3: The artist took some, er, liberties with their depiction of Trump.

51

u/Blablasarcasm 🐞LadyBug2: 2Lady 2Bug🐞🐞🙏 Nov 28 '22

“Let’s see, Donald trump…full head of thick hair? Yes that sounds right. Now, I seem to remember him being super fit and willing to do hard work so I’ll have him sweep with HUGE hands. This is an accurate and fair representation of the issues and Donald’s fit body. I’m so great.”

-the cartoonist probably

40

u/Rubberbandballgirl Nov 28 '22

I will bet you $50 that Trump has never used a broom in his life

30

u/Alarmed_Handle_6427 Nov 28 '22

Not for it’s intended purpose, anyways.

15

u/TimeTravelingDog Nov 28 '22

Slide 4 is a fucking doozy. Is it a copy/pasta or did that person literally write that crazy shit?

19

u/Haskap_2010 ✨ A twinkle in a Chinese bat's eye ✨ Nov 28 '22

As near as I can tell, she wrote it. It is one of many long walls of text. I left most of them out.

29

u/TimeTravelingDog Nov 28 '22

These people are no joke, institutionally insane.

Have you ever noticed how these evangelicals talk so bizarrely, speaking about God as if they're living inside a King James Version Bible. It's hilarious.

23

u/Fiz_Giggity Team Bivalent Booster Nov 28 '22

These people are as out of touch with the modern world as the Amish. Problem is, they don't wear special clothes so we can recognize them on sight. Seriously, this medieval mindset has GOT to go.

4

u/NecroAssssin Nov 29 '22

*Bronze Age.

5

u/lucymx16 ta-ra-ra-boost-e-ay Nov 29 '22

To be fair, many do wear special hats and shirts to declare their status. Plus when masks were more common they did not wear them so that helped too.

9

u/Lady_Grey_Smith Rebel Wheeze And Death Rattle Nov 28 '22

She’s a noise maker who mistakenly thinks she’s saving people. These ten days of silence must be wonderful for most people who have to frequently interact with her.

4

u/Ragingredblue 🐎Praise the Lord and pass the Ivermectin!🐆 Nov 29 '22

It is one of many long walls of text. I left most of them out.

Thank you.

12

u/Alarmed_Handle_6427 Nov 28 '22

No idea. If our HCA winner is American it’s likely a copypasta based on spelling variations (favour vs favor).

3

u/Dr_Adequate ✨PEEDOM in our UriNation🇺🇸 Nov 29 '22

For sure she had a vision of "Government Presidents and Prime Ministers" and I bet you dollars to donuts she can't name even one goddamn head of state of any other country.

13

u/RattusMcRatface I GET CLOSTERPHOBIA Nov 28 '22

The artist

Garrison is no artist. He's an untalented illustrator who only makes money by appealing to those invested in idolising Trump and Trumpism.

48

u/CountRumfordFRS Nov 28 '22

"I speak and declare healing, restoration and the joy of the Lord to be your strength ... in the name of Yeshuah HaMach"

Man, these prayers are exactly magic spells, aren't they? You have this special, very exact wording and you Command Stuff and Invoke Powers etc.

It must be interesting to still live in the 16th century and hold such power. You basically get to be John Dee.

The only thing missing this time around is when they carefully specify precisely which organ and/or blood count they're praying for and delineate the desired effect ("pray for his liver enzymes to go down and his oxygen to go up to 94").

22

u/RattusMcRatface I GET CLOSTERPHOBIA Nov 28 '22

Man, these prayers are exactly magic spells, aren't they?

Absolutely. It's the same when they pray "over" their hospitalised loved ones. It is casting spells, is the way they think.

17

u/PackageintheMaleBox Team Pfizer Nov 28 '22

Funny enough the bible actually says that prayer should always be done in private and not asking for anything, because god already know what to give you. You're just suppose to go behind closed doors and recite the lord's prayer.

11

u/Glamour_Girl_ Hydrogen 2: Electric Boogaloo ⚡️ Nov 28 '22

And apparently it was important enough for Christ to directly admonish his followers about the process of prayer. Yet another important tidbit forgotten by these supposed “christians”.

16

u/DTesedale Atlas Coughed Nov 28 '22

And there was no mention of urine output! How are we supposed to know if we need to pray for more urine?!

1

u/MattGdr Nov 29 '22

If you want more urine, you could just drink more coffee. Or water. Or anything. No divine intervention required.

6

u/technogrrrrl Nov 28 '22

I was just thinking the same thing! They seem to think they're casting spells with their god as the power source. It's all so weird.

4

u/browniebrown Nov 29 '22

They did say the vaccine is sorcery.

2

u/Shady_Garden Go Give One Nov 29 '22

It's funny that these nuts usually hate Harry Potter. I guess they don't like competition.

42

u/Monrezee Nov 28 '22

Poor thing is stupid

13

u/MaddAdd69 Team Mix & Match Nov 28 '22

You just got a genuine laugh out of me.

8

u/Monrezee Nov 28 '22

Right on. Thank you.

30

u/mothermucca It’s just a COVID Nov 28 '22

What an absolute fruitcake this woman is. I mean, I don’t think she could pick out a chicken in the supermarket without Gid telling her what to get.

25

u/Lady_Grey_Smith Rebel Wheeze And Death Rattle Nov 28 '22 edited Nov 28 '22

We knew a woman like her in a church we used to attend years ago. She was loud, absurdly sure of herself and always telling everyone around her about how God spoke to her about everything. Of course that woman was wrong on everything, divorced and didn’t know why. She was exhausting to deal with just for how often she had to tear down the younger women around her to keep the pretense of holiness going.

6

u/HerringWaffle Happy Death Day!⚰️ Nov 28 '22

These people always remind me of that old SNL sketch with Sally Field:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaIUkv-9HiE

5

u/Lady_Grey_Smith Rebel Wheeze And Death Rattle Nov 29 '22

That’s Loretta minus the snide comments. Well done.

9

u/Waterrat Team Pfizer Nov 29 '22

I knew a woman in college who was an acquaintance of a friend. She said this to me when I was introduced to her.:Jesus got me to the airport,got me on the plane,then on the bus to here!" She was constantly babbling about her special relationship with Jesus.Soooo annoying. I asked Sue why she befriended her..Sue said she felt sorry for her. I do wonder if they really believe all that...

21

u/Joealb123 Quantum Jeebus Healer Nov 28 '22

Stopped posting? I think some kicked the bucket.

34

u/Haskap_2010 ✨ A twinkle in a Chinese bat's eye ✨ Nov 28 '22

Sometimes potential nominees do come back after months of not posting. They never explain where they were all that time.

19

u/ladyinchworm Nov 28 '22

If that's the case one can search for obituaries or look at their friends and see if anyone else posted anything about them

23

u/peppermintesse Vax yo self FFS 💉 Nov 28 '22

Slide 3 had me laughing. Trump didn't drain the swamp or sweep DC clean. He just brought his own loyal swamp creatures / trash with him.

COVID didn't force me into radical prayer. I'd be more likely to ask Gandalf for help, FFS.

That Thatcher quote (is it even real?), you could just as easily substitute the word "socialism" with "billionaires"... but guess who these jackasses like more

These religious wackos are legitimately dangerous, undermining trust in science and trying earnestly to revert us to the Dark Ages. Fuck 'em all. I have ceased to feel the least bit sorry for them. I only fear that they will bring us (particularly the immuno-suppressed and other at-risk folks) all down with them.

15

u/Haskap_2010 ✨ A twinkle in a Chinese bat's eye ✨ Nov 28 '22

The Thatcher quote might be real. She was a truly horrible human being.

9

u/peppermintesse Vax yo self FFS 💉 Nov 28 '22

Haaaaaard agree. I just didn't have time to vet it as real or fake.

9

u/plutonionhawk Smuggles 5G Nov 28 '22

Thatcher was an awful person. Not surprised these eejits think she's great

4

u/Glamour_Girl_ Hydrogen 2: Electric Boogaloo ⚡️ Nov 28 '22

Maggie probably said it at some point. Hated her politics, but give the Devil her due….she was well-read and intelligent. She didn’t give the time of day to those who were unprepared, Labour or Tory.

2

u/survivor2bmaybe Nov 29 '22

For the life of me, I can’t think of a single instance of corruption trump unveiled or a single politician his administration prosecuted. The people in the cartoon he’s shown sweeping up or flushing down the drain are either still around or were already gone. Help me out here people.

21

u/HarryGreybeau Team Moderna Nov 28 '22

The Devil is a Liar

Trump is a liar

Ergo, Trump is the Devil.

17

u/Blablasarcasm 🐞LadyBug2: 2Lady 2Bug🐞🐞🙏 Nov 28 '22

It must’ve been weird for the husband when he married a parrot. All hot button talking points and not an iota of original thought. Well, continue to stick it to the libs, I guess

17

u/Lost-Citron-1099 Nov 28 '22

Slide 12 basically also applies to Hitler. Must be why they low key like the guy

2

u/DetectiveNickStone Nov 29 '22

Right, like where did that made up ass list come from and why are none of the qualities of a prophet about their oratory skills?

1

u/ReddySetRoll Go Fund Yourself Nov 29 '22

That list makes it sound like God does a really bad job of picking prophets. If he wants a message to get out shouldn't he pick someone popular and charismatic with oratory skills? Why is he picking out socially awkward people who like being isolated and are a target of slander and rumours? Doesn't seem very efficient to me.

13

u/RattusMcRatface I GET CLOSTERPHOBIA Nov 28 '22

"Thank god you haven't taken it [vaccine] sis!"

I'm definitely at one with that sentiment.

12

u/SadDiscussion2483 Nov 28 '22

"Mom, dad, cousins tons of others, hospitalized with covid. We've been hanging out with them, but we know we won't get it. Come to our house and pray!"

Stupid-spreader event.

12

u/Uumm_wat Nov 28 '22

When a doctor says “just wish your self healthy” you leave that doctor. Candice is the same for Blacks, gays, democracy, capitalism etc. basically, if you see her speak… choose something different.

11

u/apatrid Nov 28 '22 edited Nov 28 '22

that's how an imbecile with rabies manages their social media presence

e: -b

9

u/CorgiNice2745 Nov 28 '22

“The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other peoples money”

Bruh the US is trillions of dollars in debt

5

u/luckyintrovert Nov 29 '22

Because we’re a socialist hellhole, duh! /s

10

u/saichampa Nov 28 '22

This shit is unhinged. My brain feels damaged just by reading some of it

11

u/9021FU Nov 28 '22

As someone who is a believer in Jesus, I feel the need to call myself something other than a Christian. It’s turned into a hateful group of people who have lost what Jesus taught.

The Apostles also thought they were living in End Times ™. It should also be noted that Jesus (who I’m assuming is the prophet they are referring to) was not hated by everyone, he was only hated by the wealthy who wanted to continue with their oppression of those deemed inferior to them.

7

u/Glamour_Girl_ Hydrogen 2: Electric Boogaloo ⚡️ Nov 28 '22

But all of this was foretold as well.

There will be those who claim to follow but their words and actions will be diametrically opposed to what they were supposedly taught in the Gospels.

Wolves in the clothing of sheep. Well, in this case, imbeciles.

3

u/Fiz_Giggity Team Bivalent Booster Nov 28 '22

Before I gave up religion, I used my sect instead of the general "Christian". Hence, I was Presbyterian. Maybe that will help?

3

u/9021FU Nov 29 '22

No, unfortunately I was raised Church of Christ and then went to a non denominational church until the pastor said they were trying to get a mask waiver so that masks didn’t have to be worn in church. 😐. We haven’t been in almost 3 years. I miss the singing and being social but not the judgement.

8

u/Njorls_Saga Nov 28 '22

I find it somewhat ironic that Trump and the GOP could have done something about “Obamacare” and open borders, but chose not too. Yet somehow these people believe that they will.

13

u/Glamour_Girl_ Hydrogen 2: Electric Boogaloo ⚡️ Nov 28 '22

Remember how The Mango Mussolini had a “great” healthcare plan that was to be unveiled “in a couple of weeks” following the repeal of the ACA?

Yeah, nothing else was ever said about it. At all. They had nothing. And yet these dimbulbs lap up every lie as if it were manna from Heaven. 🙄

7

u/Njorls_Saga Nov 29 '22

I’ve been asking GOP reps for decades what their healthcare plans are. They NEVER have an answer.

3

u/Glamour_Girl_ Hydrogen 2: Electric Boogaloo ⚡️ Nov 29 '22

They never will. They aren’t used to voters questioning them.

21

u/kakapo88 Say Hello to Mr. ECMO Nov 28 '22

Prayer and Sky Daddy pulled them through. Good thing the hospital and medical staff didn’t get in the way.

21

u/Goose_o7 I am The TOOTH FAIRY! Nov 28 '22

Prayer and Sky Daddy pulled them through. Good thing the hospital and medical staff didn’t get in the way.

Now they can begin their slow and steady Drain Circling adventure which invariably ends with throwing a clot and dropping dead on their kitchen floor.

Praise Jesus!

6

u/starbetrayer 💰1 billion dollars GoFundMe💰 Nov 28 '22

ha the famous scrubbing......

8

u/AliensProbably Team Mix & Match Nov 29 '22

What you guys over there desperately need is a law that states that if you think you've got an invisible friend then you aren't allowed to vote.

That would solve most of your problems within 4 years.

7

u/Single_Raspberry9539 Nov 28 '22

I’m sure she thinks she’s a good person but she’s not. She spreads hate. In response, I hate her.

5

u/Roidy Nov 28 '22

Have they been doing shrooms?

4

u/lofi76 Nov 29 '22

Did I just see a comic showing Donald …SWEEPING?! 🤣

That MFer never touched a broom.

4

u/Good_Store_2410 Nov 29 '22

Candice knows what she spews is all lies. She just jumped on the money train like so many others have done. The followers are the stupid ones.

3

u/mutant6399 🥳 came for the flair, stayed for the Candeath memes 💀 Nov 29 '22

yep, Candeath the Harbinger of Doom

2

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

Ohhh this is her 2nd round, no?

Did she ask for prayers for the estrangement of her siblings?!

1

u/Haskap_2010 ✨ A twinkle in a Chinese bat's eye ✨ Nov 30 '22

I bet I can guess why they want nothing to do with her.

2

u/boofdahpoo130 Nov 29 '22

Slide #5, though. What kind of family brawl were they in that they needed to work towards "reconciliation" and the nominee felt the need to vaguebook about it repeatedly on Facebook?

2

u/MageMasher_Online Nov 29 '22

Slide 1

Says enough and all that’s needs to be said

2

u/VengenaceIsMyName Covid: Making tight statewide races bluer since 2021 🗽 Nov 29 '22

Ruh Roh

2

u/Specialist_Teacher81 Nov 30 '22

Oh she is posting, to gofundme.

1

u/Haskap_2010 ✨ A twinkle in a Chinese bat's eye ✨ Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

Really? I'll have to check that out.

Edit: I don't see her or her husband there. There are some people with the same last name, but not the same first name or any resemblance.

0

u/GreatWealthBuilder Team Unicorn Blood 🦄 Dec 01 '22

Ant they're fine...

Keep drinking the kool aid though!

Will this simple comment be banned from this echo chamber? Time will tell. ^.^