Happier cows - r/HolUp

132k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

The Mootrix

997

u/Evacipate628 26d ago

"I know kung-moo"

572

u/R2CX 26d ago

Come on! Stop trying to milk me and milk me!

268

u/complexityspeculator 26d ago

Do you think that’s milk you’re drinking now? Hmm?

123

u/GrimmFox13 26d ago edited 26d ago

Do you believe that my being faster and stronger has anything to do with your udders in this place?

Edit: spelling. Thanks for the spellcheck fellow redditors

34

u/Vik0BG 26d ago

Do you like the cow in the red dress?

19

u/gliitch0xFF 26d ago

You moo'd like they do. I've never seen anyone moo that fast.

2

u/Jpl3k 25d ago

underrated comment *claps*

2

u/Bd0llar 21d ago

What good is a phone call if you’re unable to milk?

7

u/flip1999- 26d ago

Follow the white heifer

28

u/verbosehuman 26d ago

*udders

-1

u/stiggiebird 26d ago

Are you sure that’s the right spelling?

8

u/verbosehuman 26d ago

Utters has other meanings.

9

u/doejinn 26d ago

Can confirm this one has the right spelling and not the udder one.

1

u/beariel_ 11d ago

Please be joking

19

u/Fineus 26d ago

You're empty.

So are you.

4

u/gliitch0xFF 26d ago edited 26d ago

I can see this scene play out. It is equal parts entertaining as it is disturbing.

5

u/Renguezzerini 26d ago

This is the best one

38

u/you-have-efd-up-now 26d ago

coweanu reeves - "mwhoa"

22

u/jaxonya 26d ago edited 26d ago

Were you paying attention or were you looking at the heifer in the red cowhide?

17

u/you-have-efd-up-now 26d ago

what are you trying to tell me? that i can dodge steak knives ?

I'm saying that when you're ready. you won't have moo

45

u/woodscradle 26d ago

Do you take the red milk or the blue milk? Milk milk milk? Moo milk matrix moo

13

u/DreamWithinAMatrix 26d ago

Would you like your steak red or well done?

26

u/POB_42 26d ago

"I know this steak doesnt exist"

18

u/Fineus 26d ago

Ignorance is bliss.

3

u/BrandX3k 26d ago

"I know this 1000$ prostitute doesn't exist!"

2

u/a_vitor 26d ago

„Just dehorn it, wipe its ass, and bring it to the table“

9

u/Micosilver 26d ago

r/cursedcomments

2

u/Adrasos 26d ago

This might be my favourite thread on Reddit so far. Godspeed.

24

u/Originalstickers 26d ago

It's the dung, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it.

20

u/BALONYPONY 26d ago

Never send a human to do a moochines job...

28

u/Fineus 26d ago

Mooster Anderson, we've milked you.

3

u/WolframFE 26d ago

Wake up Moo... Follow the white cow.

29

u/ZenkaiZ 26d ago

I normally browse reddit 100% stone faced no matter how much "funny" stuff I see, but this one got me legit belly laughing.

10

u/[deleted] 26d ago

[deleted]

9

u/booba_facka 26d ago

Who are you trying to hide from

11

u/VariableVeritas 26d ago

Sssshhh. You’re going to spook them and then my cover is blown.

4

u/anyearl 26d ago

and it will be udderly cowtastrophic

10

u/DreamWithinAMatrix 26d ago edited 26d ago

Shit, this made me spit out my milk

4

u/3ntropy303 26d ago

Same, and I haven’t had milk in years as I lack toast and tolerance

3

u/DreamWithinAMatrix 26d ago

Try to realize the truth: there is no milk

1

u/3ntropy303 26d ago

It just burns SO much coming out of my nose

1

u/Jmatusew 25d ago

Don’t cry over it!

1

u/Lolkimbo 26d ago edited 26d ago

Do not try to milk the udders, that's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth… there is no milk...

1

u/doejinn 26d ago

Got ...no milk?

1

u/Jmatusew 26d ago

Great, the digital pimp at work

1

u/createdforsmut 26d ago

Sounds like a bratty sub :D

1

u/flip1999- 26d ago

No...not like this

0

u/GarciaJones 26d ago

“I have nipples Greg, can you milk me?”

Shit sorry, wrong movie.

1

u/doejinn 26d ago

Caaan you Milk it? yes you can! sorry, wrong movie.