r/LeopardsAteMyFace Nov 29 '22 Silver 3 Helpful 1 Wholesome 1 Take My Energy 1 Burning Cash 1

Musk is unleashing the hateful racist crazies on Twitter, and now he's crying sad billionaire tears that Apple may remove Twitter from their app store.

https://www.cnbc.com/2022/11/28/elon-musk-claims-apple-has-threatened-to-remove-the-twitter-app-.html
55.2k Upvotes

3.3k comments sorted by

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3.1k

u/Tencreed Nov 29 '22 Wholesome (Pro)

Musk's shitposting army versus Apple corporate lawyer batallions. Guess who's gonna win.

2.4k

u/Practical_Eye_9944 Nov 29 '22 Silver Take My Energy

Fuck Musk for making me side with Apple.

569

u/historynutjackson Nov 29 '22 Ally

"But in the Iran-Iraq War you sold weapons to both sides."

"Did it ever occur to you that I wanted both sides to lose?"

78

u/Jahbroni Nov 29 '22

"You still have not brought me the gun of Rambo"

42

u/historynutjackson Nov 29 '22

"Part one, two, or three?"

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u/niberungvalesti Nov 29 '22

Let them fight.

713

u/godofhorizons Nov 29 '22

It’s not a fight. It’s Musk bitching and moaning publicly while Apple disembowels him privately

556

u/Dense-Particular6093 Nov 29 '22 Silver

What Musk doesn't get is that his advertisers and point of sale vendors, like Apple and Google are not only independent companies that make decisions in their own interest, most are publicly traded companies with stock holders they must answer to and since the majority of people are not hugely racist individuals, they would rather not be tied up in business with a company facilitating such antithetical mantras.

It's always a true shame when billionaires get trapped in their individually created echo-chambers and won't even show an interest in trying to escape them.

276

u/hobbitlover Nov 29 '22

"But what about my free speech?"

You still have it - otherwise how would we hear you complain about your free fucking speech 24 hours a day? If anything, you're getting more media attention.

99

u/dillanthumous Nov 29 '22

To be fair, his free speech has cost him 44 billion so far. :D

74

u/hobbitlover Nov 29 '22

Over a hundred billion actually, Tesla shares aren't doing well.

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u/gingerfawx Nov 29 '22

He's so fucking annoying. I can't wait for him to be irrelevant again.

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u/NeilDeWheel Nov 29 '22

He still has his free speech. There’s nothing stopping Apple users from accessing Twitter via the web. I don’t use Twitter but I bet it’s just as good that way.

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u/AMeanCow Nov 29 '22

It's always a true shame when billionaires get trapped in their individually created echo-chambers and won't even show an interest in trying to escape them.

It's said this is also why Putin decided to invade Ukraine, that he was surrounded by yes-men who never told him the real situation that he actually thought it was going to be an easy fight and that Russia would be welcomed as liberators.

When you only surround yourself with people who tell you what you want to hear, you aren't getting the whole picture and will quickly end up stuck down a deep hole of your own making.

17

u/eleanorbigby Nov 29 '22

also see: U.S. neocons, Iraq

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u/chicagobob Nov 29 '22

AFAIK Apple has not made a single public statement. Zero. Radio silence. They're playing it very cool. Other than Phil Schiller closing his Twitter account, I'm not aware of any other highly visible moves by Apple.

It's all Musk being nuts in public, almost like Azula at the end of ATLA.

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u/Remarkable_Tank5602 Nov 29 '22

Theres a whole bunch of them clamouring for him to just buy apple/ make his own smartphone to make Apple go out of business

457

u/RuffTuff Nov 29 '22

Thats hilarious.

AssumingMusk would want to take it private, he will have to buy all outstanding AAPL shares. AAPL currently has about 15.91 billion shares outstanding, so 15.91 billion times the stock price of $143.23 as of today, Musk will have to shell out approx 2.27 TRILLION dollars.

I would love for him to try. :-)

263

u/morphinedreams Nov 29 '22

No bank in the world would entertain that loan based on his behaviour even before the twitter stunt. He'd be lucky to get a multi-billion dollar loan on top of his existing ones given how hard he's tanked both the investment purchased with it, but his other assets in the process.

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u/Synergythepariah Nov 29 '22

An elon phone would have no charging port and would use wireless charging only but some other variant that's not the one everyone else is using.

It'd also have a 2.5mm jack.

And it also wouldn't ever release because shipping a product is something everyone else does, which means that it's incorrect.

121

u/Joker-Smurf Nov 29 '22

You are forgetting that the company would be valued at eleventy trillion dollars, despite either never shipping a product, or having worldwide sales of only $25.

51

u/FlyingDutchman9977 Nov 29 '22

It's a small company now, buy eventually, it will be the only phone available on Mars /s

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u/Better-Director-5383 Nov 29 '22

And it's 6 months away from being self driving.

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u/mizezslo Nov 29 '22

Zuckerberg is totally failing at hardware. Seeing Musk try will be hilarious.

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u/allpabloallhoney Nov 29 '22

Musk already failed at creating his own car tracking system. We were forever losing teslas when I was there because he refused to use the tried and true method of tracking vehicle shipments.

55

u/iflvegetables Nov 29 '22

Why use the wheel when you can invent something substandard?

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u/DreadedChalupacabra Nov 29 '22

Fucking MICROSOFT couldn't even get a phone going. And they own like 80% of the PC market, and had debatably the best mp3 player ever made.

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u/esp211 Nov 29 '22

This is the point that most people don't understand. Google, Microsoft, Amazon, and even Facebook tried to make a profitable phone. Google is the only one left but barely profitable in smart phones. Heck throw Samsung, Sony, and any other mega corporation in the world and they all basically failed at it. All of a sudden Musk is going to come in with his pennies and create an ecosystem like Apple? Yeah, ok, sure, uh huh.

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u/obooooooo Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

i don’t understand how his fans genuinely think that will work. apple is basically an institution all around the world, and while musk is the richest man alive, his name is and will never be nowhere near as recognized as apple? i live in a third world country, if i go outside and ask people what “apple” is, they’re gonna look at me like im implying they’re stupid. if i ask who elon musk is, most of them won’t know who the fuck im referring to. i feel like elon vastly overestimates how much his name or work is known around the world

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u/EnergizedNeutralLine Nov 29 '22

It's hard to break into the phone market, but sure why not. Google has been jumping up and down with the pixel trying to get people to buy it for 7 generations now. They're great phones too, I love mine. Still though, one of the largest corporations in the world has struggled mightily to unseat Apple and Samsung. Good luck Elon.

190

u/MsPenguinette Nov 29 '22 Silver

When you try to remove slurs from the autocorrect dictionary, it'll ask you to confirm that you hate free speech

23

u/T-Baaller Nov 29 '22

Every time you try to type "nice", it changes to something very opposite of nice.

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u/maltedbacon Nov 29 '22

I have confidence he won't do as well as Blackberry, if he tries.

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u/esp211 Nov 29 '22

I'd love for him to make his own phone. You know, because so many companies with infinite resources have been so successful in the past: Microsoft, Amazon, Facebook, etc... Even Google and Samsung are somewhat struggling in terms of turning in a profit and they've been at this since the beginning.

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u/hooplah Nov 29 '22

all the idiots clamoring for him to make a phone have never ever ever worked in hardware and it shows. smartphones are one of the hardest spaces to break into.

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4.6k

u/C__S__S Nov 29 '22

He deserves every shit sandwich he’s forced to eat. It’s fucking embarrassing to be associated with this guy, of course companies are going to distance themselves.

1.0k

u/gelastes Nov 29 '22

"Hey minions, there seem to be negative consequences for the business model when we don't regulate hate speech. Who'd have known? ... minions?"

"Sorry boss, I'm just the gardener. You fired everybody else."

388

u/Jack__Squat Nov 29 '22

"You're fired too"

The following day

"The grass looks fine. What did that guy even do around here"

267

u/mentaldemise Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

That train of thought seems correct. This reminds me of that James Jamie photoshop guy who when asked to remove the gardener from the background did so, but killed all the trees too. https://i.redd.it/ijoyfp8ngfs41.png

Edit: Fixed name.

30

u/EWR-RampRat11-29 Nov 29 '22

Lol. That guy is amazing.

r/JamesFridman

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u/Branamp13 Nov 29 '22

one week later

"This grass looks like shit, why didn't the last owner do anything to keep it under control?!"

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u/pegothejerk Nov 29 '22

“These families and companies have stopped having their events on my property, they clearly hate freedom!!”

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u/zCiver Nov 29 '22

How many lines of code has the gardener wrote in the last month?

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u/FerrusesIronHandjob Nov 29 '22

Not many, the gardener is also HR, building maintenance, reception, QA and PA to Elon

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u/darkingz Nov 29 '22

Apparently there’s a tweet where he says that managers are expected to also get code quality reviews at the same level as regular engineers.

There’s an argument being made that all engineering managers should be able to code. But it’s awfully short sighted to loop all managers at the same expectations. You’re going to overburden them and they’re going to focus less on managing and more on coding. That’s how you get no managers. Not always a bad thing but you’d also get rogue employees that way too.

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u/RamenJunkie Nov 29 '22

The more I hear about Elon and Code, the more it feels like his entire understanding of technology comes from NCIS and CSI episoded.

27

u/LynxFX Nov 29 '22

Why is there only 1 person on this keyboard!? There should be two of you typing damn it!

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u/HelpfulSeaMammal Nov 29 '22

My job? Toilets n boilers. Boilers n toilets. Plus that one boiling toilet. Fire me if'n you dare.

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u/boromirfeminist Nov 29 '22

It’s not just embarrassment. Legaleagle did a video about how he’s inevitably going to bring lawsuits against Twitter. I’m not entirely sure how the law works with associates in this scenario, but I wouldn’t want to sell or distribute something that was being sued in case it could in any way come back on me.

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u/SurprisedCabbage Nov 29 '22

Elon will just do what all rich billionaires do when it comes to the law: ignore it.

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u/grendus Nov 29 '22

Normally that works, but he's hemorrhaging money, and Apple is really, really rich. When it comes to a clash of titans, sometimes rich people really do get consequences.

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u/missed_sla Nov 29 '22

It's not even that. Apple requires content moderation on social platforms and senpai Musk shit canned the content moderation team.

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u/zveroshka Nov 29 '22

I think the part that is really pissing off Musk is that Apple literally doesn't care about him or Twitter. They are treating them like just any other app on their store. Really works against his "I'm the main character" ego trip he has been on.

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u/santagoo Nov 29 '22

Being treated equally like everybody else is a Kryptonite to a narcissist.

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u/Aceswift007 Nov 29 '22

I didn't realize how bad he slashed the mod team till I learned there's one fucking dude with the job to filter cp for the entire site.

Elon's solution, ask people to link on a tweet he wrote of any tweets with that content....it's like asking people to bring cocaine they find to the police station.

68

u/DogyDays Nov 29 '22

That poor fucking person what the hell

27

u/BustANupp Nov 29 '22

They could'a quit with severance. Best case scenario they are looking at the Everest of work in front of them, light a joint and walk out. Let Apple and EU regulations destroy Twitter and Elon's remaining reputation.

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u/k0nahuanui Nov 29 '22

They're probably on a work visa and their options are very limited.

But yeah nobody can do this shit for months on end. Viewing the most fucked up shit humanity has to offer, all day, every day. You need counseling and plenty of time off just to cope.

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u/JoJack82 Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

Because Musk doesn’t seem to understand that free speech doesn’t mean anyone can say whatever they want wherever they want. He thinks apples infringing on that “right”. But he can choose to run twitter that way but thy at doesn’t mean Apple needs to allow it. I hope apple pulls it from the store

Edit: whenever to wherever which is what I meant originally. The wherever referring to private platforms not being forced under the first amendment to allow all speech on their platforms.

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u/MrKarrionhardt Nov 29 '22

So long as it doesn’t upset him, of course.

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u/JoJack82 Nov 29 '22

Exactly, free speech for conservatives is that they can say whatever they want but you can’t.

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u/RevLoveJoy Nov 29 '22

Speech without consequences.

That's 100% what people like Musk mean. They want to saw awful, untrue, hateful things and not get called out.

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u/Jlpanda Nov 29 '22

Speech without consequences for them. They have no issue doxxing people and flooding them with threats and harassment if they things that they don't like.

And they scream and cry about liberal college campuses and "safe spaces" while ignoring the many, many conservative Christian colleges that are way less tolerant of dissent than any liberal arts college and their own separate social media sites that immediately ban anyone expressing non-conservative opinions. It's pathetic.

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u/hurl9e9y9 Nov 29 '22

Yeah it's a common thought process. People like to talk about vaccine mandates and that it's a free country, etc.

First, there haven't been any vaccine mandates, aside from perhaps employers.

Second, they forget that the "free country" means that an employer is free to place such requirements to work there. If you don't want to fulfil those requirements, you are free to do that, and also free to not work there anymore.

It's a two way street, and they forget that the freedoms they speak of apply to everybody, not just them, including businesses.

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u/InsertCoinForCredit Nov 29 '22

Conservatives hate two-way streets, fairness, or anything that whiffs of equality. Their idea of utopia is one where they tell you what to do.

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u/Branamp13 Nov 29 '22

Wilhoit's law:

“Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect."

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u/tomdarch Nov 29 '22

Apple and Google won’t ban the Twitter app merely because of “the n word” (though I would prefer that they do.) The reason they would ban the app is because Musk’s Twitter would allow specific violent threats and harassment. And that shit is absolutely not “free speech.”

Musk knows this distinction which tells me that his comments about making his own phone is because he plans on allowing Twitter to become a platform for fascists threatening people.

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u/JoJack82 Nov 29 '22 Bravo Grande!

I was a huge Elon fan, I drank the Kool Aid, i bought a Tesla 4 years ago and it still the best car I have ever owned by far. But this meltdown he is having has made me see him for who he is and this will likely be the last Tesla I ever own. I can’t continue to support him. I’ll probably buy a Rivian next.

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22 Silver

The rivian, is that the truck that looks like Millhouse when he takes off his glasses?

473

u/JoJack82 Nov 29 '22

Haha, everything is coming up Millhouse!

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u/Comin_Up_Millhouse Nov 29 '22

Hey what now?

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u/Arkayb33 Nov 29 '22

You're a truck now.

And, apparently, everything else.

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u/InGenAche Nov 29 '22

I looked it up and now I can't unsee it. Thank you.

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u/Djinjja-Ninja Nov 29 '22

The rivian

Wasn't he the bad guy in Highlander?

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u/ifuckzombies Nov 29 '22

No, that was the Keurig.

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u/gredr Nov 29 '22

No, it's the truck where the touchscreen controls everything, including the direction the A/C vents blow.

Honestly, a dystopian nightmare.

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u/jerkITwithRIGHTYnewb Nov 29 '22

I have to open the glove box from my touchscreen in my Mercedes.

109

u/LolaBijou Nov 29 '22

So if your car is dead and you want to look at the owners manual or get something out of the glovebox before it’s towed, you’re fucked?

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u/Better-Director-5383 Nov 29 '22

This even happens in my 10 year old Subaru.

Electric latch doesn't work on the rear door so if your battery dies have fun crawling over the back seat to get to the jumper cables.

How has nobody figured out to not make things you need with a dead battery not electric.

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

Theres nothing wrong with physical buttons 😭

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u/eye-nein Nov 29 '22

Can't sell a monthly subscription for analog devices. That's what is "wrong."

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u/Globalist_Nationlist Nov 29 '22

"If you'd like your air vents to point up and down, deposit another $2.99."

Our future..

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u/niberungvalesti Nov 29 '22

Summers here! Deposit 10 dollars for the exciting Air Conditioning DLC. Now with ionized free range locally sourced air!

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u/MonkeyNumberTwelve Nov 29 '22

I have an ID 3 and you have no fucking idea how much I hate having to mash the shitty touchscreen four or five times to work the ventilation. How the shit is that better than turning one fucking knob, maybe two at the most?

Aaaaaah. Just thinking about it now annoys the tits off me.

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u/DaMonkfish Nov 29 '22

Ahh, but you see, touchscreens are modern and newfangled and therefore need to be on everything. Cars? You betcha. Your fridge? Why not. Washing machine? Inject it straight into my veins.

At least with the kitchen appliances you can't fucking crash it into a wall or a bunch of pedestrians on a footpath whilst navigating a clunky interface designed by some berk with canned hams for hands, so I guess that's something.

Touchscreens in cars for any controls you might need to operate whilst driving should be fucking banned. No exceptions.

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u/dpkonofa Nov 29 '22

So just like a Tesla?

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u/americansherlock201 Nov 29 '22

Likewise. I have a Tesla M3 now. I also have an ICE ford that is nearing the end of its life. I was looking to buy another Tesla. I’ve started researching other EVs instead for the next buy. Musk is showing he is wildly insane and manic. Until a time comes where he’s removed from Tesla, not sure I can feel comfortable buying one

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u/PassionatePossum Nov 29 '22

There are plenty of better options anyways. The big manufacturers have mostly caught up. Hyundai in particular has some nice offers in the same price range that have way better interior quality (and probably superior QA in general).

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u/americansherlock201 Nov 29 '22

I was actually looking at the Hyundais over the weekend, especially the Ioniq 5. Looks really nice and has a great range

38

u/coffeesippingbastard Nov 29 '22

Hyundai's reinvention with EVs has been stunning. They went from a company struggling to break from it's old econobox roots to chic EV company almost overnight.

26

u/recumbent_mike Nov 29 '22

That's a neat-looking car.

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u/americansherlock201 Nov 29 '22

It really is. And for basically the same price as a Tesla model 3. Has a longer range as well

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u/mrob2 Nov 29 '22

Ford Mach E and the VW ID.4 are the most compelling crossover EVs in the market rn.

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u/LaTommysfan Nov 29 '22

Yea, Elon is turning Twitter into a shit sandwich, the good news is that it’s all you can eat.

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u/BlewOffMyLegOff Nov 29 '22

How long before the muskies say this was 18-D chess to make twitter irrelevant

1.7k

u/socialist_frzn_milk Nov 29 '22

They're already claiming it's 18D chess so he can Magically Invent His Own Cell Phone! With blackjack! And hookers!

398

u/HecknChonker Nov 29 '22

It's gonna be quantum, based on Blockchain, and everyone will use it to vote!

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u/--redacted-- Nov 29 '22

As long as it has AI qubits and learns machine-ily I'm sold.

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u/gingerhasyoursoul Nov 29 '22

Ah yes the man who has spent the last three years pumping and dumping a scam crypto currency seems exactly like the type of person I want having all my personal data.

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u/ElectronicMixture600 Nov 29 '22

In fact, forget the cell phone!

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u/Val_Hallen Nov 29 '22

Oh? Musk is finally going to invent something? With all of his engineering knowledge?

Oh...wait...no.

He's going to hire people to do it then take all the credit then his cult will line up to gobble his grundle in the hope that he acknowledges them in any way because they are all pathetic, stupid sychophants living in an alt-right reality.

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u/No_Program_Found_950 Nov 29 '22

He won’t even hire people, that’s not his m.o., he’ll buy up a company already making phones then rename it, slap on a new marketing budget and say he invented it.

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u/jcarter315 Nov 29 '22

Considering how crazy this has all been, I'm going to say he'll buy Blackberry and try to have it run an Android variation with a custom app store pre-loaded.

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u/LittleSadRufus Nov 29 '22

I'm the opposite of a Muskie and even I struggle to believe anyone is really this stupid, but the alternative - that he's intentionally shitting over his reputation and blowing billions just to end Twitter, when he has the power to simply switch it off - also seems very improbable.

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u/ZSpectre Nov 29 '22

Yeah, and the other alternative is that if he actually knew how to run it competently, he'd have an incredible tool to manipulate information for both capital and political gain to make himself even richer.

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u/zeeboots Nov 29 '22

That's the real Greek Tragedy here, right, that he had to simply do nothing and he'd own the world's preeminent source of open realtime information and political opinion -- literally able to alter public perception on his whims, a power even gods would envy -- but he couldn't get out from under his own unhinged narcissism long enough to avoid doing boneheaded stuff like "now you all have to pay me" and "I'm going to fire 75% of the staff without regard for their actual role in keeping things running."

I'm no billionaire but when I go into a new situation I do my best to make only small changes and acclimate myself to what's been going on before presuming to be able to use my Very Good Brain to reinvent the wheel. I guess that lack of hubris mayalso be why I haven't made a career of conning people out of their money to horde for myself.

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u/ManusCornu Nov 29 '22

Idk about stupid but I see a mixture of drug abuse, narcissistic tendencies and a growing god complex at work. He just detached from reality a while ago, and where this usually is not a problem, he's got a gigantic platform for people to watch it

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u/jrgkgb Nov 29 '22

I’m not a Muskie, but making Twitter irrelevant is pretty handy for those opposing unions, police accountability, and online activism in general.

Twitter has also been an invaluable tool for circumventing corporate media.

If it were suddenly gone, that benefits autocrats, billionaires, and corporations.

Put that way, taking it out sounds more like checkers than 18D chess.

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u/Athenas_Return Nov 29 '22

He may make Twitter irrelevant but I firmly believe it won't be long after that something comes along to fill the vacuum. The basic idea will be the same but the platform will change. You ripped will slowly start gravitating to another new platform and then it will be everywhere.

Musk's an idiot if he thinks he can take Twitter down and kill that type of platform. If people want it, someone will be developing it.

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u/Coal_Morgan Nov 29 '22

I'm sure someone swept up a bunch of Ex-Twitter employees and is planning something. Possibly even ex-Twitter execs.

Amazon, Microsoft, Apple, Google or even Facebook have to see an opportunity to possibly topple Twitter and stick Musk with a 44 billion loss.

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u/st-julien Nov 29 '22

Remember Vine? That went away and like a month later we got TikTok. Literally the same concept. The internet is all about rehashing the same garbage over and over.

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

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u/parkinthepark Nov 29 '22

From their perspective, it’s tails I win/heads you lose: * if Musk drives Twitter into the ground, Saud paid $2B to shut down a key tool for revolutionary organizing, and kept the guillotines at bay for a while. * if Musk succeeds, they get back $2B plus interest.

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u/Singer-Such Nov 29 '22

This is the second time I've seen Parler referred to in neutral terms for a mainstream media piece. Fuck neutrality, it's a fascist platform

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u/Pedinhuh Nov 29 '22

It's also a fucking scam

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u/marsrover001 Nov 29 '22

The best part of parler is the feds recording every part of it.

Maybe

I hope

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u/BlokeInTheMountains Nov 29 '22

And the feds do have a strong track record of cracking down on and preventing domestic right wing violence.

I mean law enforcement never attracts right wing authoritarian types.

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u/monkeyclawattack Nov 29 '22

Whiny billionaire cries about free market

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u/some_asshat Nov 29 '22

Free markets and free speech seem to confound Ol' Musky.

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u/JimWilliams423 Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

Whiny billionaire cries about free market

Really, that's all billionaires. They just don't usually do it on twitter.

Conservatives only believe in principles like the free market, free speech and democracy when those principles give them an advantage. As soon as other people figure out how to be better at playing by the rules, conservatives want to change the rules. Look at all the magars who want to raise the voting age to exclude gen-y because their red wave turned into red drool. Or jim crow...

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u/BobbyBudnicksDad Nov 29 '22

Since Elon took over my twitter feed is full of far-right pieces of shit like Dinesh Desouza and Kyle Rittenhouse and I don't follow any of them. This shit is way more extreme than Elon and the right are pretending, it's a full-on white nationalist site now

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u/Now__Hiring Nov 29 '22

Yup, Rittenhouse is being amplified a ton to all accounts

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u/USMCLee Nov 29 '22

Rittenhouse popped up on my Twitter notifications just this morning.

I immediately blocked him and all future notifications. It also made me seriously consider deleting my account

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u/odigo2020 Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

I hope that you do. Twitter losing a significant amount of advertisers is an important step, but losing real users for those remaining advertisers to advertise to is even more so.

EDIT:

This actually reminded me that I still had an account that I set up a decade ago and used maybe 3 times. #Goodbye indeed.

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u/lalalalahurrr Nov 29 '22

Billionaires ruin everything

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u/GetMeAMilk_Chocolate Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22 Gold Helpful

I get this vibe from Elon that if he saw me eating a roast beef sandwich, he’d laugh at me because I’m not eating a turkey sandwich, and then offer me a turkey sandwich, but I’d turn it down because I like roast beef more and then he’d call me an idiot for not listening to someone with more money and he’d try to get other people to give me shit because I like roast beef and won’t take his turkey. And he’d just keep coming at me about this until I find another place to eat sandwiches in peace. I know that’s rambling, but I do feel this specific billionaire would ruin my lunch like that if he could.

Edit: apparently he did this in real life with a submarine, lol.

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u/Mobeus Nov 29 '22

He wouldn't just offer you a turkey sandwich, he'd try to sell it to you, but he'd have a new name for it like "hyperturkey" and he'd insist that he was it's inventor because he bought Hyperturkey Inc.

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u/Mission_Ad6235 Nov 29 '22

Then he'd also say that if someone figured out how to make roast beef cheaper, it'd be viable. And he'll say they can just give him credit for pointing that out, but he doesn't need any money for it. Thinking that he is the first person to think this, ignoring that roast beef sandwich makers have tried to make a cheaper sandwich for decades.

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u/ignaciohazard Nov 29 '22

Only this all happened in his sandwich shop. When you decide to eat at a different shop where the owner didn't harass you Elon would bitch that you were censoring his sandwich and you hate freedom.

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u/TheLateThagSimmons Nov 29 '22

Worse is that it was your favorite sandwich shop, but he bought it this year because he heard they have a great roast beef sandwich and he just wants the place to serve turkey.

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u/AdeleBerncastel Nov 29 '22

He’d buy the new sandwich shop.

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u/lumpyspacejams Nov 29 '22

And then he'd replace all of the sandwich meat with bologna, even the turkey he loves so much followed by being increasingly confused and irate no one wants to eat at his rank-ass deli anymore.

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u/sandwichman7896 Nov 29 '22

But not before he fired all of the sandwich artists!

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u/ReaperEDX Nov 29 '22

Isn't that what practically happened when people turned down his stupid submarine idea to rescue trapped kids in a cave?

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u/worstpe Nov 29 '22

I was going to mention this. This is exactly what he did then that diver said no to his cave submarine. So he called him a pedo.

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u/Independent_Plate_73 Nov 29 '22

Then went to party with Russell Crowe, Grimes, and…. Azalea Banks.

How did this guy ever have good PR?

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u/donfuan Nov 29 '22

Didn't he fire his PR team in 2020 or something? No wonder his image is taking a nosedive.

https://www.businessinsider.com/elon-musk-jabs-at-journalists-shut-down-tesla-media-department-2021-5

O yeah,

In 2020, he shut down Tesla's PR department, and chose to use his Twitter to communicate instead.

case closed ;) These guys must have been REALLY good at their job!

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u/Dank_Confidant Nov 29 '22

You non-turkey-sandwich-having-roastbeef-sandwich-having-poor-ass person.

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

[deleted]

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u/collegeblunderthrowa Nov 29 '22

With the added bonus of calling the guy a pedophile for pointing out that his idea was bad, and doing so for an audience of millions.

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

Then get mad that you left? Like, don't you like free speech? Free speech like my turkey sandwich?

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u/tyleritis Nov 29 '22

Perfectly cromulent statement

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u/BigSproing Nov 29 '22

Because billionaires have no talent

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u/Retrohanska59 Nov 29 '22

For real. This has become excellent case study on why so many companies have succeeded despite their greedy executives, not because of them.

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u/quippers Nov 29 '22

Unpunished crimes. They succeed because of unpunished crimes. It's a pay to play world and if you've got the money, Justice looks the other way.

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u/baron_von_helmut Nov 29 '22

They're so fucking fragile as well (apart from one or two exceptions). It's ridiculous.

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

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u/thagthebarbarian Nov 29 '22

It's literally the only reason that Twitter took action in the first place

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u/Nix-7c0 Nov 29 '22

It's why 8chan is the industry standard!

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u/F0rkbombz Nov 29 '22

This is pretty typical for populists. They try and simultaneously present themselves as both the victim who is being oppressed beyond their control and a genius who is playing 5D chess.

Elon isn’t making rational statements / decisions anymore. Attacking Apple is just dumb from a business perspective. This is all posturing for his fans so he can remain a populist icon.

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u/pmabz Nov 29 '22

Turns out he's as good a businessman as Trump.

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u/highmodulus Nov 29 '22

Almost all his wealth is tied up in Tesla stock I believe, wonder how much is at risk from the financing he put in place.

My bet is Twitter files bankruptcy within 90 days or so. Elon will claim to the remaining believers that this was solely to get out of unfair contracts, to own the libs, and some other stuff he read online. What this does to the financing and their hold on his Tesla stock is the interesting bit. Dumping a few billion in Tesla stock on the open market will not help the stock price, which already is propped up artificially as a tech stock. Once the market views it like GM or Ford, then things get grippy.

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u/Dr_Marxist Nov 29 '22

My bet is Jack buys it back with a team of investors for 1/3 the purchase price (or so).

Elon's gonna get margin called. The one-year chart on TSLA is fucking hilariously ugly, and is only gonna get worse. Lenders and underwriters nervous as fuck I'd think. Doesn't help that Elon is appealing to people who won't (and economically can't) purchase his vehicles, and alienating the ones who can and would.

My bet is he doesn't just lose twitter over this, he's probably gonna lose control of Tesla too. Serves him right, the fascist prick.

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u/Naxthor Nov 29 '22

I wish jack would buy it back so we wouldn’t have to listen to Elon anymore.

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u/thetensor Nov 29 '22

My bet is Jack buys it back with a team of investors for 1/3 the purchase price (or so).

I keep waiting for a syndicate of former Twitter shareholders to offer to buy it back at a share price of $34.20 $24.20 $14.20...

You know what? Let's call it a round $4.20 per share. Final offer.

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u/mdavis360 Nov 29 '22

Imagine we got to this point where we all long for the leadership of Jack Dorsey.

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u/HorrorScopeZ Nov 29 '22

And he put out yesterday that Apple donates most of their political money to democrats. Guess which party Tesla mainly donates to and it's not far off from Apple? Democrats. Sort of funny.

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u/gasoline_eggnog_777 Nov 29 '22

How the fuck is this a liberal problem?! Like I agree he will totally twist it but how does he justify this? If he hates liberals so much then why does he even care what they think? Im so tired of people being more stupid than I am

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u/InfamousLingonbrry Nov 29 '22

Deleted my twitter account a week ago, he’s going to run it into the ground.

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u/Massive-Row-9771 Nov 29 '22

If you don't kick out the Nazis from your bar, more will come. And pretty soon you'll be the owner of a Nazi bar.

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u/CressCrowbits Nov 29 '22

Reminder Musk is personally banning antifascists from twitter.

He is not about free speech, he is about promoting fascism.

https://crimethinc.com/2022/11/25/elon-musk-bans-crimethinc-from-twitter-on-request-from-far-right-troll

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u/Keoni9 Nov 29 '22

It's hilarious that he claims to have been a liberal alienated by the left becoming too extreme.

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u/ThatOneGuy4321 Nov 29 '22

Rightoids think in bad faith

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u/Astra7525 Nov 29 '22

Of note: Apple has made no statement whether they even considered removing Twitter. It was just a rumour, but which clearly utterly spooked Elmo because it would ruin him.

So in response he is sending his Free Speech warboys after anyone that even floats this idea, despite Apple Corp choosing not to do business with his Twitter being a perfect example of a corporation exercising their Free Speech rights.

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u/Machaeon Nov 29 '22

This is a really good example of why Tesla hired people to be Musk wranglers. He's too petulant and incompetent to be left alone in charge

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u/amluchon Nov 29 '22

Someone's gotta change the widdle baby

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

[deleted]

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u/DOA_Pro_Wrestling Nov 29 '22

Yeah, but he's going to make his own phone then! With hookers! And blackjack! And cocaine!

He might want to have a come to Jesus with Jeffy B. about that idea...

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u/keving216 Nov 29 '22

Honestly, fuck him. I closed my twitter account and deleted that shit app. I’m sick of hearing about anything to do with this Bozo. Glad I never bought a tesla.

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u/Totally_Not_High_420 Nov 29 '22

Apple has the right to select who they do business with, why Elon feels entitled to Apple's advertising and association is the question.

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u/TheShapeShiftingFox Nov 29 '22

Is it really a question?

Because he’s a spoiled trust fund kid, that’s why

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u/Danominator Nov 29 '22

Fuckin do it apple

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u/Frustrable_Zero Nov 29 '22

Musk is literally poisoning his brand he’s had cultivated for him over the past few years in a way even trump didn’t. Even with the billionaire wealth he’s got, I imagine the name association with him in the future is going to be costly for any business. Reminded how the time he turned a profitable, powerful titan of the social media sphere into dead weight

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

Why can’t this guy fall of a cliff or something? Every fucking day he’s crying/opining/ranting about something and thinking he’s the only one that gets to be an asshole. Don’t like the cost structure of the Apple Store? Don’t buy an unprofitable company that relies on being in the Apple Store.

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u/Puzzleheaded_Bear_58 Nov 29 '22

He’s about to fall off a financial cliff if he can’t turn things around

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u/DrunkyMcStumbles Nov 29 '22

This feels more like a "root for the meteor" type of situation than leopards eating faces.

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u/Teanaway99 Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

At the heart of Musk is a confused little boy who seeks attention by misbehaving and cries foul because he can't control the consequences.

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u/DylonNotNylon Nov 29 '22

Has no one made the "leave Brittney alone!!" meme with his face photoshopped on yet?

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u/YourWordsMatter Nov 29 '22

This may be your time to shine.

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u/lizzietnz Nov 29 '22

Wouldn't it just be easier if he'd burned the $44B in a glorious Halloween bonfire?

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u/Cellulevide Nov 29 '22

He's gonna be perfectly salted when we eat him

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u/PhantomPhelix Nov 29 '22

Free market has spoken musky.

 

Isn't it hilarious that when the free market actually responds, cons and biggots cry about wokeness and cancel culture.

 

It's like they don't understand half the things they parrot from their propaganda media sources.

 

LMAO, they do not actually want a free market, because a free market consists mostly of people that do not share the same values as them.

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u/AppropriateAgent44 Nov 29 '22

Rich people are wild. How hard is it to just snuggle up with your billions and not do anything stupid? All this shit looks way more stressful than just buying an island and spending the rest of your days on the beach.

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u/SpikeRosered Nov 29 '22

People who support Musk are the type who dream of a world where they can be so rich that people just have to deal with all their anti-social traits that they refuse to change.

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u/SouthernNanny Nov 29 '22

They are hoping to reach a younger audience and it’s going to make the younger generations leave Twitter like they did Facebook

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u/Zanchbot Nov 29 '22

Twitter is going to lead to the downfall of his entire empire, and I couldn't be happier about it. Musk deserves every bit of this.

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u/theflyingnacho Nov 29 '22

Hey look, the free market at work. Surely an unabashed capitalist such as Phony Stark will love that, right?!?

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u/jgyimesi Nov 29 '22

I hate Trump for making me miss Bush. I hate Elon for making me defend Apple. Fuck Elon and Trump.

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u/mb9981 Nov 29 '22

My job requires me to keep on eye on twitter for most of my shift. I can say indisputably it's really turned into a bigger shit pit in the past 3 weeks than it was in the 2 years prior.

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u/esp211 Nov 29 '22

Elon figured out the grift game with the far right wingers is much more profitable than any other business. He is watching Trump collecting hundreds of millions by just twitting and existing and he wants in on it.

Elon should also see how well Facebook is doing after colliding with Apple. Facebook has incinerated to the tune of $35B so far (more to come) due to Apple turning off their groovy train and being forced to pivot their entire core business.

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u/CharlieDarwin2 Nov 29 '22

Elon bought Twitter for $44 billion. It is now worth about $13 billion. Without advertising, he has no game.

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u/czarinacat Nov 29 '22

Space Karen need to move to Mars already.

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u/throwawayanon1252 Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

Elon musk acquisition of twitter might actually ensure he no longer will be a billionaire tbh in the future. Tesla stock soared cos people saw Elon as they mythical incredible businessman. His actions on twitter have really started to prove this myth wrong

This is causing Tesla stock to go down. Twitter also has never made a profit and Js reliant on ads to function. He also took a 12 billion dollar loan to help him acquire it. This means. He needs dk find an extra billion dollars a year to keep twitter profitable and fund his loans. Last year it made like 500 mil loss j think and the gear before 1 billion.

If he can’t find that extra funds he will be forced to sell Tesla stock to cover his loans. However, the Tesla stocks aren’t just money for him. It’s his source of power. If he can’t make twitter profitable which is looking more and more likely as his actions are ensuring advertisers don’t want to pay for ads. He will be forced to sell Tesla stock which will not just hit in monetarily but also his source of power

Elon musks acquisition of twitter had only downside for him and it’s fucking hilarious for me to watch him crumble and unwind in such spectacular fashion

On twitter. The users are not the customer. The advertisers are. The users are the product. They sell our data to them. A company like twitter Facebook Reddit any social media platform has to keep its customers happy.

Elon only has downsides. Now sdvertisers are pulling out.

Also when china eventuallh does another dreadful thing. What will Elon musk do when the Chinese government pressured him to censor.

If he does. He will anger all his free speech super fans. If he doesn’t and china puts serious pressure on the export of his Tesla cars from the Shanghai factory. His shareholders from Tesla and the board will be ducking angry at him and his stock will tank.

There are also far more other situations like this.

Him getting twitter was fuelled by his pure narcissism and egomania and that will absolutely be his downfall

Let’s not even get into twitters serious problems and how Elon has made them infinitely worse by firing all the people responsible to address the problems.

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u/Puzzleheaded_Bear_58 Nov 29 '22

I agree with all except this free speech fans turning on him about china. Their “free speech” fandom leads with bootlicking and can confirmation bias anything

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