r/MadeMeSmile
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u/Callistoux
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Jan 09 '23
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(OC) After 5 miscarriages and endless heartache, my wife and I finally had our rainbow baby Wholesome Moments
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u/Trevormagnum640
Jan 09 '23
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Congrats on your beautiful child.
We had a miscarriage close to the middle of 2022, and now my wife is pregnant again and almost to her 2nd trimester, praying that everything will go smoothly this time
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u/hamsolo19 Jan 09 '23
Youse guys got this! My wife miscarried on our first time. It's scary and a major bummer, but how we looked at it really helped us get past it. We were like, "this is just your body telling us, hey something's up, we gotta clear out and start fresh." And now we've got two beautiful little poop factories.
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u/Own-Entrepreneur1994 Jan 10 '23
Same. We went through something similar, thought we couldn't make it happen...BUT Now we have 2 top notch ornery little snuggle badgers. Hang in there. Everybody.
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u/Art3mis77 Jan 09 '23
Exactly the way my sister looks at it, who has had three miscarriages. To some it might be offensive to hear that there was a reason the baby didn’t make it but to both my sister and myself it feels reassuring
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u/noobvin Jan 10 '23
It’s a tough thing, but you have to tell yourself something positive. You can’t give into the bad thoughts that might come along with such a thing. I can see some men putting a woman at fault, or a man putting themselves at fault. You just can’t do that. You celebrate when you can, but don’t kick yourself over acts of nature. You’re no more responsible at that as you are an Earthquake (in most situations).
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u/nonchellent Jan 09 '23
I’ll be lighting a candle and saying a prayer for you tonight. Best of luck on your journey with parenthood!
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u/Trevormagnum640 Jan 09 '23
Thank you, God bless you
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Jan 09 '23
Was not ready for this heartfelt exchange when I logged onto Reddit today. I'll also light a candle for you tonight.
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u/Trevormagnum640 Jan 09 '23
Thank you so very much
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u/loweyezz Jan 09 '23
Didn’t have a miscarriage, however, it’s my fiancées first time pregnant and she’s almost at her 2nd trimester. Best of luck, and let’s enjoy the ride.
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u/lily_tiger Jan 10 '23
I'm in the same boat as your fiancée. If it helps, I've been using the following affirmations whenever I get anxious about the pregnancy:
- Today I am pregnant and I love my baby.
- I am pregnant with a healthy, growing baby until I am told otherwise.
- Hope does not make bad things happen. I cannot jinx my pregnancy by getting my hopes up or by telling someone about it.
- There is nothing I can change with worry. Worrying about something out of my control does not prevent it from happening.
I go back to these whenever I start spiralling and I've found it helpful. Wishing you all the best!
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u/somedaypilot Jan 10 '23
These are very helpful even completely separated from pregnancy. Thank you.
I wish you and your little one a happy, healthy forever
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u/loweyezz Jan 10 '23
This is great advice, I’ll be sharing this with her tonight. Thank you kind stranger!
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u/_drumstic_ Jan 10 '23
I truly hope everything goes well for the three of you.
We had a miscarriage in mid 2020 and had our rainbow baby in November of 2021. He’s now walking around and brings so much joy into our lives.
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u/whitefluffff Jan 10 '23
I know the anxiety you both have. My wife and I lost our first baby at 6 weeks. We now have a beautiful 19 month old girl, who has an attitude and is >99% for height (36”). It’ll all work out and then time will fly. Enjoy every second while you can because you won’t get any of it back.
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u/Curious_Attempt4080 Jan 10 '23
Best of luck, friend!
Another couple of post-miscarriage success stories: My mom miscarried twice before I was born. I’m 36 now and have my own baby—after having a miscarriage in 2020. But pregnancy #2 resulted in the healthy 15-month-old currently curled up in his crib!
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u/zjjman1 Jan 09 '23
Praying for an absolute safe delivery with no complications and that Gods peaceful presence is over the delivery room that whole time for you and your wife.
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u/DisplacedMasshole Jan 10 '23
Wow, almost identical timing here. My wife is due in June after a miscarriage in mid-2022. For the last one, we weren’t stressed at all until the midwife couldn’t hear the heartbeat, and even then it didn’t hit home until the confirmatory ultrasound. This time around has been much more stressful for both of us despite all indicators being positive.
I have to imagine all folks feel the same, you two included. Hoping all goes well for both our wives, and we’ll be celebrating in 2023!
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u/krowrofefas Jan 10 '23
Good luck internet friend.
My wife experienced multiple miscarriages including one on her birthday while we were at a wedding.
IVF and multiple kids later that pain and struggle seems distant. I hope it goes smoothly as well.
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u/Parliament-- Jan 09 '23
What’s a rainbow baby
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u/whyisthissohard338 Jan 09 '23
A child born after stillbirth/miscarriage.
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u/ElMostaza Jan 09 '23 •
Why is that the term? I'm guessing because of the idea of a rainbow coming after a storm, but maybe it's something else?
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u/cassby916 Jan 09 '23
No, that's it in a nutshell.
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u/sacky85 Jan 09 '23 •
This is me in a nutshell: “help! I’m in a nutshell!”
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u/DirtyHandedHero Jan 09 '23
Just watched that the other day! Your comment gave me a good chuckle.
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u/notluciferforreal Jan 09 '23
Wow, didn't know that. So both my kids are rainbow kids.
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u/OverEasyGoing Jan 10 '23
I guess I have one, too!
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u/ibmore Jan 10 '23
Yeah, we were so confused when the nurses were congratulating us on our rainbow baby.
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u/wittlewayne Jan 09 '23
Like a little pot of gold 🥰
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u/prettysouthernchick Jan 09 '23
That's actually a term used for a baby born after a rainbow baby.
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u/PurpleYessir Jan 09 '23
Gay baby
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u/Siegfoult Jan 09 '23
How do they test the baby for Gay?
Gaydar?
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u/iglandik Jan 09 '23 edited Jan 09 '23
If a drag queen reads to your kid within 30 minutes of being born, your baby is automatically gay and a rainbow appears. Boom, rainbow baby.
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u/PM_ME_450_WORDS Jan 09 '23
Do they have to be drag or can it be just any LGBTQ person?
I don't know many drag queens but my cousin is gay and I'm pretty sure he'd be down to read to a baby.
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u/dr_steinblock Jan 10 '23
anyone can temporarily become a drag queen if they want to
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u/Prestigious_Oven4492 Jan 10 '23
What if they’re a drag queen and their persona is a drag king? They can just be wearing regular clothes and stealth convert a baby. Never let anyone read to your kids.
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u/Rikard_ Jan 10 '23
The initial decider has to do with if the midwife is gay or not. But yes after that any LGBTQ person can read to convert the baby
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u/RagingCataholic9 Jan 10 '23
Drag queen reads to baby during 1st trimester? Gay baby.
Drag queen reads to couple before sex? Gay baby
Reading too fast or not fast enough? Gay baby.
We have best babies because of drag queens.
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u/dream-smasher Jan 10 '23
No test. A rainbow emerges just before the baby is born. Sometimes, outside a window or door. Sometimes far in the sky. But most frequently from the mucus plug. That is how the world is informed of the gay baby.
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u/NickrasBickras Jan 09 '23
I diagnose you with gay
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u/coffeesdone7 Jan 09 '23
15/10 for the hecking amazing cheeks and 16/10 for the beautiful eyes.
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u/orange728 Jan 09 '23
And that beautiful full head of hair! Mama mist have had heartburn every day, but it was worth it,
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u/dontbmeanbgay Jan 10 '23
Wait what, heartburn what now?
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u/Tigerzombie Jan 10 '23
Old wives tale says if you have a lot of heartburn during pregnancy, you baby will be born with a full head of hair. I had moderate heartburn and both kids came out with a lot of hair.
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u/emilybottone Jan 10 '23
Funnily enough, I had bad heartburn every day for two pregnancies and birthed two lil baldies
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u/uk-otoA Jan 10 '23
Old wives tale.
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u/SockaSockaSock Jan 10 '23
But seemingly generally true? https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17150070/#:~:text=Most%20(23%2F28)%20women,than%20average%20or%20no%20hair.
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u/TheGuyWithTheComment Jan 09 '23
Congratulations on your beautiful child and you and your wife’s resilience! Truly!
My fiancée and I would have the same journey ahead due to her endometriosis. Her mother had roughly the same amount of miscarriages in between the 3 children she was able to give birth to.
We just don’t have the hearts (or the money) to go through so much emotional/physical turmoil. The doctors have already told us that the numbers are against us - especially considering how bad her condition already is at her young age.
Adoption will be the path we take. Although, that will also present plenty of emotional and financial hurdles as well. Congrats again!
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u/Anakat13 Jan 09 '23
I too suffered from Stage 3/4 endometriosis. Ruptured ectopic pregnancy, lost the baby and a fallopian tube, then lost a second baby and finally after a number of failed IUI/IVFs, we gave up and decided on pursuing adoption. Five months later, I was pregnant with our daughter. I was high risk the entire time, but finally she made it here, my rainbow miracle baby. She's the only one I was able to have, but 18 years later, she's the gift of my life that keeps on giving. Adoption is a labor of love; I am a bonus mom to three wonderful boys and I love them as much as I do my flesh and blood daughter. Wishing you and your wife much love and success as you build your family; in whatever shape and form it is. <3
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u/Xanthipuss Jan 10 '23
Love hearing this 🙂 My wife and I were lucky to have our boy after 5 miscarriages, but I am still more than open to adoption. My wife is very reluctant though. If there is any advice or something you can share, I'd love to hear!
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u/Anakat13 Jan 10 '23
The best advice I can give is sometimes the family you choose is the greatest, altruistic love you can experience in your life.
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u/mrmiiim Jan 09 '23
You sound like an awesome mom!
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u/Anakat13 Jan 10 '23
I did my best and still do now that one of those boys made me a Grandmom. I love her too with my whole heart. Parenting is hard and thankless sometimes no matter where your kids come from. They didn’t ask to be born into whatever situation they’re born into. All we can do is love them with the intent that they’ll have better than we did.
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u/ishopandread Jan 09 '23
We adopted our youngest! Wonderful way to grow a family!
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u/nekooooooooooooooo Jan 09 '23
Adoption is a great way! I wish you all the best.
But here's an anecdote: I was told that the odds were against me because I have a type if endometriosis that's inside the uterine muscle. I'm currently 10 weeks pregnant. 💜 But I totally understand of you guys don't want to try to have a child that way.
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u/TheGuyWithTheComment Jan 09 '23
Thank you so much for the kind words! Congratulations to you, that is incredible!! Perhaps one day we’ll change our minds, but for now we have our hearts set on finding our little ones through adoption. :)
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u/nekooooooooooooooo Jan 09 '23
Totally understandable :) I'm sure you guys will be super great parents 🥰
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u/ssatancomplexx Jan 10 '23
Adoption is such a great idea! Maybe I'm biased because I was adopted myself but I wish you and your wife the best. It takes a special kind of person and heart to adopt a child.
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u/dinosaurparty14 Jan 10 '23
I call my mom multiple times a week, and am so thankful for my amazing parents. They took a chance and adopted me.
The way they explained it to me as soon as I started asking questions was perfect. "Your birth mother was very young and loved you SO MUCH. She knew she couldn't take care of you the way she wanted to, and she searched for a family that had enough love to give you. And then you came to us!"
My family is MY family. Yours will be too ❤️
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u/IsDinosaur Jan 09 '23
Awesome.
Ok. One piece of unsolicited advice.
Buy one of those small battery powered nail sanders for infants.
Trying to trim tiny nails is stressful and risky, the sanders are so soft you could sand your skin and not feel it, the motors so weak you can stop it with ease.
It made things way less stressful, used it for a solid year.
Look at those cheeks!
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u/eveningsand Jan 10 '23
I traumatized myself after accidentally nicking my kid's finger when trying to trim the nails. I felt like I took off a part of the finger down one joint, despite it being a small cut.
Still, I felt completely idiotic.
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u/kane2742 Jan 10 '23
My mom has told a similar story about when I was a baby. I think she let my "claws" grow a bit longer after that.
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u/Altruistic-Drama1538 Jan 10 '23
Also an electronic snot sucker! I'm still using one and my kids are 2 and 5. The bulb ones are a pain in the butt. The snot sucker you suck out with your mouth also works great, but my kids hated it and it was a fight. With the electronic one, I can sometimes get away with doing it while they sleep, but it still clears out their stuffy nose.
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u/nguyenks98 Jan 10 '23
Do you have a suggestion for which electronic snot sucker? I have a 2.5 year old and a 6 month old. We have the Frida Electronic snot sucker but I feel like it does nothing!
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u/wooshoofoo Jan 10 '23
Don’t get the electronic one. Get the Frida one where you suck on the other end. It’s stronger and easier to control- and you’re going to be handling stuff wayyyyy grosser than snot shortly. This is so much easier.
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u/bluedreamer94 Jan 09 '23
I had a miscarriage last year and every time I see posts like this, it gives me hope. Congratulations and well wishes to all of you!
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u/Matilda-17 Jan 10 '23
I had four miscarriages before having two healthy pregnancies. I was seeing a specialist (reproductive endocrinologist), and they never did figure out what was wrong, but when dismissing me from his practice, the dr said, “give it another try, statistically your odds are still better than 50/50 even after four losses.” And that one stuck. No idea why.
Don’t lose hope.
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u/we_are_all_bananas_2 Jan 09 '23
Lol, that's such an adorable little cuddle magnet
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Jan 09 '23
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u/mewmw Jan 09 '23
This comment is so beautiful 😍
Congratulations, OP! May your child bring you immense happiness, contentment, and joy.
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u/Ironmansoltero Jan 09 '23
Give that head a sniff
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u/whyisthissohard338 Jan 09 '23
The first thing I thought was "I bet her head smells lovely". And I want to rub all that fuzzy baby hair. So sweet!
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u/amaya-aurora Jan 09 '23
w h a t
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u/Ironmansoltero Jan 09 '23
Nothing like the smell of a newborns head
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u/hulda2 Jan 10 '23
My sister has a month old baby and I can't get enough of sniffing the little nieces head. She is so cute and her baby hair is so soft.
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u/ktlevesque Jan 09 '23
My mother had a two miscarriages before she had us four. She told me that while she was camping she had a dream that she would have children. When she opened the tent flap that morning, she saw a double rainbow. She took it as a sign that she her dream was showing her what would happen. She tells us that we were the pots of gold at each end of each rainbow.
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u/rocknroll1968 Jan 09 '23
Holy crap that is an awesome story. This is the beauty we were made to bring to and experience in this world.
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u/fahudhaa Jan 09 '23
I offer my heartfelt congratulations on the arrival of your rainbow baby, the culmination of a journey marked by countless obstacles and insurmountable sorrow. Your perseverance and fortitude in the face of such adversity is truly admirable, and I am confident that the bond you share with your spouse will only be strengthened by this latest chapter in your lives.
May this little one bring you immeasurable joy and solace, and may they serve as a constant reminder of the strength of the human spirit.
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u/the_lovely_boners Jan 10 '23
Congratulations! Such a beautiful baby!
I just had my first miscarriage (also very first pregnancy) last week and I'm still spending most days on the couch overwhelmed by so many feelings. But I know things will get better.
I am so glad you guys were able to get your rainbow baby! I'm looking forward to the day we get our own.
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u/NelTia Jan 10 '23
Hugs 💕 I miscarried the Monday before Thanksgiving. You never forget but it does get better. Time helps. Be gentle on yourself.
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u/Knuhklez Jan 10 '23
We’ve been non able to have kids for over 12 years with 3 miscarriages. It has taken a toll in our marriage and my wife’s confidence. After ivf we just got pregnant. This is so awesome to see and gives us hope for a healthy pregnancy! This is awesome news!!! Congratulations from our family to yours
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u/No1KnwsIWatchTeenMom Jan 10 '23
If she's not on it already, I can't recommend r/infertilitybabies enough. I just had my baby a couple weeks ago after IVF, and that subreddit was my biggest source of community my entire pregnancy.
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u/vadreamer1 Jan 09 '23
Queue Stevie Wonder -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oE56g61mW44
"Isn't She Lovely" - Congratulations!
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u/AggravatingCupcake0 Jan 10 '23
No, cue it! If you queue it, we have to wait for it and I don't wanna 😭😉
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u/LorazePamHalpert Jan 09 '23
Congratulations! What a sweet little one.
We went through 6 miscarriages and have two beautifully children these. I understand your pain ❤️
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u/Dr_Eastman Jan 09 '23
I can't fathom how you persevered through 5 miscarriages. We went through two and it absolutely killed us after 3 years of infertility problems, 2 miscarriages, and 6 cycles of IUI.
Last year we were blessed with healthy identical twin boys.
I'm happy for you.
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u/yuengs Jan 10 '23
I’m so happy for you and your wife! We lost our first son at 8 months of pregnancy last March.
With that being said we are so happy that my wife is pregnant again and we are expecting in July!
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Jan 09 '23
Congratulations. Our daughter was stillborn last year. My wife and I have just learned she's pregnant again, and although we're more aware than ever how fragile a baby's life can be, I'm cautiously optimistic I'll be in your position soon. Thank you for posting.
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u/45thGenRoman Jan 10 '23
I wish I could upvote 100 times. My wife and I had 4 miscarriages before we got our son and I know exactly how you're feeling. So happy for you man.
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u/Meatwad650 Jan 10 '23
A friend of mine from HK was joking when he and his wife were having their first daughter:
“We’re doing an American first name and Cantonese middle name.”
“What’s the middle name?”
“Chow fun. Because everyone loves chow fun.”
He actually had the hospital put it on some paperwork as a joke. His wife wasn’t amused.
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u/Commercial-Push-9066 Jan 10 '23
Congrats! Having only one miscarriage, I know how rough it is. I can’t imagine 5. I’m so happy for you after all that trauma! What a beautiful blessing!
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u/ghostead Jan 10 '23
My sister and I are our parents' rainbow babies. IIRC, my mother had experienced 5 miscarriages until she had her first child, my sister, followed by myself not long after. Very lucky to have her and my father as my parents. They love us both so much.
My mom says she's always thought that it was just the two of us trying over and over again to be born.
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u/emeraldspots Jan 10 '23
Off topic, is the footprint themed blanket common in the US? (I am assuming OP is from there, sorry).
I received some photos from a colleague who had a baby herself recently and she too had her own adorable baby wrapped up in that blanket.
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u/diplex_c Jan 10 '23 edited Jan 13 '23
beats my baby fever back with a stick Sweet little bean. She’s precious, congrats OP 🥰 treasure each and every moment
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Jan 10 '23
Congratulation pal, something similar happened to my mother and now my sister is born, I can feel your joy, may they live a long and happy live
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u/bschnizz Jan 11 '23
As a fellow rainbow baby father, congratulations!!!!! Miscarriages are way more frequent than people acknowledge but they’re also incredibly hard to deal with emotionally. We dealt with infertility issues for a couple of years, and it can be taxing, but finally had a healthy and beautiful baby boy. So happy for you guys!
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u/TheOGdeez Jan 10 '23
Damn brother, God bless! It is a serious battle... emotionally, physically (for wife, and you), mentally, just everything. My wife and I had our first child, then 2 miscarriages relatively far along, and now we're expecting a boy in a couple weeks!
Congratulations, you did something you thought impossible. You and your wife climbed from the darkest depths to, now, the brightest light.
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u/IncoherentStream Jan 10 '23
I wish posts like this were more common. My wife and I have gone through two miscarriages. We're finally back to trying again. Congratulations on the new addition and the start of your new parenting journey
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u/TD5moon Jan 10 '23
Congrats. We went through 5 miscarriages. Doctor told my wife she needs an egg donor.. decided that wasn’t the route we wanted to go. We have 2 kids naturally. 1 boy and 1 girl. Both are healthy.
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u/Fabulous_Ad5052 Jan 10 '23
I had three miscarriages. I know your pain, but I also know your happiness!!! Congratulations!!
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u/LoStro88 Jan 10 '23
Our rainbow baby is about to turn 1 next week. You are in for the best year of your life. She's the best part of my day, every day.
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u/EE_KRJ Jan 10 '23
My wife and I had 1 miscarriage and that was incredibly hard. I can only imagine the journey you two went through. I am so happy for you guys. Congratulations!
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u/Fod1987 Jan 10 '23
Congratulations.
My fiancée and I have had 3 this year. Taking a break before trying again. We're exhausted mentally and emotionally.
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u/ButtsAreCooliGuesss Jan 10 '23
My fiance and I were in the same boat in 2021. We tried and had three miscarriages then out of the blue she got pregnant and my son just turned a year old a little while ago. Not sure if you're religious but I'll keep y'all in my prayers
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u/Itsy58 Jan 10 '23
My one baby turned 34 last month and I'm so very grateful to have her. My ex and I tried unsuccessfully for 17 years to have another one. Every month that passed, I felt like I was having a miscarriage.
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u/Far-Breakfast9066 Jan 10 '23
no clue a very large amount of u need to be incredibly rude to the OP, doesnt make sense to me at all, there’s probably a reason why theg didnt adopt, you cant call someone shitty because they need to do things only in ur specific viewpoint… my girlfriend is literally adopted from china, and thinks all of you people talking shit are just being incredibly rude, she said ,”congratulations awe thats so awesome!” then i showed the contriversial comments on this and its truly sad that some of u are really like this. OP congratulations again!
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u/A-Dawg11 Jan 10 '23
As someone who's been in that same situation and just had our own rainbow baby last year, it goes without saying (but I want to say it anyway) that you will absolutely adore every last ounce of that child every day. We are still as infatuated with our little daughter now as we were when we first saw her on the sonogram. Even during the fussing and sickness, we can't get enough of her. Cheers to you 3! Enjoy every minute of it!
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u/FluffyAd8666 Jan 10 '23
Congrats! I had 4 MC before my son, now 6yrs. I had one after as well. I call him my miracle baby.
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u/Penguinkrug84 Jan 10 '23
Congratulations 🍾🎉 She was well worth the wait and heartache, gorgeous! We dealt with one miscarriage before our rainbow baby. One was enough to make me have panic attacks and need therapy both after the miscarriage and through the next pregnancy, I was so scared of losing another baby. I can’t imagine what you two have been through, beyond happy for you!!
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u/-Scorpia Jan 10 '23
So happy for you! Miscarriages are so hard to go through!!! What a sweet little shmee! 🥹
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u/Always_Wandering117 Jan 10 '23
SHES A CHONKY LIL DUMPLIN, OMG 😍 may God grant you all many many years 🙏
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u/soul_evans127 Jan 09 '23
Uh sir i regret to inform you that is not a baby….that is a dumpling….a cute adorable little dumpling