r/MadeMeSmile • u/Palifaith • Jul 01 '21
I would definitely consider that a successful date Small Success
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u/thelefttrombone Jul 01 '21
I have three daughters and I can tell you that this man would have a 66% probability of increasing his popularity with this action.
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u/bumbletowne Jul 01 '21
One is lactose intolerant?
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u/degjo Jul 01 '21
The youngest daughters mother was killed in a cheese wheel accident. The perpetrators got a whey
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u/FROILANMARK Jul 01 '21 edited Jul 02 '21
Hehe
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u/moldycrystals Jul 01 '21
Damn I remember this I forget where tho link?
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u/Pacoboyd Jul 01 '21
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u/L00pback Jul 01 '21
“WitchKraft”
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u/TalosWatch Jul 01 '21 edited Jul 01 '21
You should be set aflame for your ungodly ways--against two slices of bread, flipped at about a minute and a half on each side for perfect char.
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u/mavjustdoingaflyby Jul 01 '21
Well shit, it's almost 7 am and here I am craving a grilled cheese and haven't even had my coffee.
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u/WatchingUShlick Jul 01 '21
Toss a fried egg on it. Boom! Breakfast grilled cheese!
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u/PompousRooster Jul 01 '21
Are you proud of yourself now? Clever bastard
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u/L00pback Jul 01 '21
Indeed!
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u/LeopoldParrot Jul 01 '21
It’s not entirely clear why cheese is seen to have magical properties.
Tf they mean? Cheese is magic. You take some liquid that comes out of a cow titty, do weird stuff to it, then let it sit around for a while, and then a delicious thing comes out. And not even one delicious thing, there are hundreds if not thousands of different delicious things possible. Magic!
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u/AmericanIMG Jul 01 '21
https://www.snopes.com/news/2021/01/22/the-spellbinding-history-of-cheese-and-witchcraft/
an image from a book of spells claiming that: “You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.” The spell comes from Kathryn Paulsen’s 1971 book, The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft
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u/Galvandium Jul 01 '21
I remember it from Despicable Me 2.
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u/moldycrystals Jul 01 '21
That's where I knew it from also Reddit says stuff like this all time lol
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u/DThor536 Jul 01 '21
Guy here. If a woman gave me a wheel of cheese on our first date, I would be brushing up on getting down on one knee.
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u/Tribeless1 Jul 01 '21
This reminds me of an old but wonderful story. A young and very rich man decided he wanted to marry a woman. The villager laughed and thought that with how ugly the woman was and how successful he was as a businessman he would get away with paying the dowry for his wife with maybe a chicken and some hoofs, but when he went to make his bid for her, he offered an astonishing 10 Cows! The most beautiful and top rated women were only 8 Cows.
But on his honeymoon he showered her with gifts and affection and dressed her in the finest apparel. Soon the women of the village began to treat her as a woman worth 10 Cows and eventually her parents were upset that such a beautiful and respected daughter was traded for Only 10 Cows!
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u/broccoli_meister Jul 01 '21
That's such an interesting story!
I was a little confused by your use of 'dowry' so I checked Wikipedia and found that my odd feeling was justified:
A dowry is a transfer of parental property, gifts, property or money upon the marriage of a daughter (bride). Dowry contrasts with the related concepts of bride price and dower. While bride price or bride service is a payment by the groom, or his family, to the bride, or her family, dowry is the wealth transferred from the bride, or her family, to the groom, or his family.
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u/Tribeless1 Jul 01 '21
Eh, I forgot the right word for it. Basically the custom was the man had to pay the family a price to replace the loss of the daughter, and to show the world how much she was worth to him.
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u/throel Jul 01 '21
It does take a lot of practice. I did it on a frozen lake, so I had to practice extra hard.
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u/sadgirl1631 Jul 01 '21
How is this man still single?
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u/TurokHunterOfDinos Jul 01 '21
It is okay to be single, just not a Kraft single.
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u/Cat_Patsy Jul 01 '21
Yeah, he's definitely moved on from Kraft. Upped his game. He won't be single for long.
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u/KEOsoundwave Jul 01 '21
Husband material right there.
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u/Reapr Jul 01 '21
Damn straight, you know how much a wheel like that is worth these days? I certainly would not be able to afford one
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u/alghiorso Jul 01 '21
Doing a Google search found a 12kg wheel for 90euro Cheapest I found
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u/Miramarr Jul 01 '21
What kinda cheese tho
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u/reallybiglizard Jul 01 '21
Asking the real questions!
It is really hard to find a wedge of Raclette around where I live that’s large enough to actually do a traditional Raclette spread with. Young Farmer would be invited over to mine for dinner at least 6-8 times.
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u/IntenseScrolling Jul 01 '21 edited Jul 01 '21
It's not always about how much cheddar a man has (sorry if that came off cheesy)
Edit: An award? Thats grate
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u/BurnerForJustTwice Jul 01 '21
Cheesy. Kraft a better pun.
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u/ElsonDaSushiChef Jul 01 '21
It was so bad the only being that laughed was the cow. You may as well call it The Laughing Cow
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u/epicurious_aussie Jul 01 '21
He sounds like he’d make a Gouda husband.
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u/RewrittenSol Jul 01 '21
Well that one Bleu.
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u/Yarxing Jul 01 '21
I can't think of Edammer pun.
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u/Smeefperson Jul 01 '21
Ok these cheese jokes here are bad enough. How much worse can these cheese puns brie?
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u/xWolfy012x Jul 01 '21
i’m not even gay and i would marry this dude
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u/Ani_08 Jul 01 '21
A ring of cheese.
One Wedding proposal, at least you could feed the party guests!
Engagement Party & Wedding Reception, 2 for the price of 1 !!!
To think like this, got to be an accountant.
Dessert : Cheesecake !!!
Funny, was thinking cheese crackers (due to family reasons).
Maybe, even some Cheeseburgers with chips (vegan or non), for the Wedding Party.
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u/poopielepoop Jul 01 '21
Forreal that's probably like $ 100 dollars plus in the grocery store. 🤑❤
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u/anyosae_na Jul 01 '21
Where are you getting a pound of cheese for 4 bucks? That wheel is most likely anywhere between 250 to 500 bucks, probably somewhere in between.
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u/Muffer-Nl Jul 01 '21 edited Jul 01 '21
A wheel of cheese like yhat, if you buy high quality farmers cheese here, would be around 200 euros. That's currently 237 usd.
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u/thefuckouttaherelol2 Jul 01 '21
What wonderful grocery stores do you frequent that would carry such a wondrous wheel of cheese?
I know the cheese fresh cut from the deli is better than the pre-cut stuff but I still don't think I could get a whole wheel of it.
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u/SlowRollingBoil Jul 01 '21
Not really. Most delis are just cutting you the same stuff unless you're going high end.
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u/eagleblast Jul 01 '21
Fresh-cut cheese doesn't have the prefer on it they use to keep packaged cheese from sticking together, which IMO makes the texture and taste of fresh cut seem better better.
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u/Admiral_Franz_Hipper Jul 01 '21
As a former deli worker, this is true. Both have probably been sitting in the storage fridge for a few days and in the warehouse fridge for some time as well. The only true fresh stuff was a handful of meats we got from a local company.
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u/wes9523 Jul 01 '21
for fucks sake its CHEESE. a wheel like that has been sitting in a cave for several months if not YEARS depending upon the cheese, a couple extra days in your warehouse fridge still in the wheel isnt gonna make it suddenly go bad. Once its been cut sure, some of the exposed cheese may start to dry out, but still anything more than an inch back from the cut is gonna be just like new. Hell anything still in its sealed wrapper is gonna be like new until you open it.
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u/rtxa Jul 01 '21
Cheese stores, especially Italian ones are sort of common in European cities. They would sell a whole wheel of cheese, if you asked. Would definitely be more than $100 though.
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u/deanreevesii Jul 01 '21
You have a whole foods local? The one near me in Arkansas even sells whole wheels of Parmigiano Reggiano. Although the wheels of the others might not be in display, I'm betting that if you ask whoever is working the cheese area, they'll have whole wheels for sale.
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u/OhioJeeper Jul 01 '21
Pretty much spot on. We had a white elephant gift exchange and my gift was a 5 lb block of cheddar cheese, it was in the $30 ballpark so about $6/lb, or around $150 for 12kg.
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u/Racerth121 Jul 01 '21
*Stardew Valley Vibes*
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u/Infinite_Bananas Jul 01 '21
only like 11 more cheese wheels and they'll be married
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u/throwawaystranger69 Jul 01 '21
Just gotta wait for a rainy day to go down to the beach and buy her a mermaid pendant.
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u/AverageDoomer Jul 01 '21 edited Jul 01 '21
Lmaoooo mine gifted me a package of cheese, she’s a dairy farmer, I’m a computer tech lol
Forgot to mention, we are getting married in august and this year will mark 6 years together. <3
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u/bioclassic Jul 01 '21
Yeah, I grew up on a dairy farm. Like 80% of gifts we gave people were cheese even though it was never our own cheese even.
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u/LeMeuf Jul 01 '21
That is very intriguing.
As a city slicker, I don’t understand. And yet, I would LOVE the gift because I love cheese. What’s the thought process behind that? The traditional gift of the city folk is a $20 bottle of red wine lol71
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u/StarsDreamsAndMore Jul 01 '21
Eh? The traditional gift of the city folk for what? A date? I've never given anyone a bottle of wine after a date. Let alone a wheel of cheese. Is this why my dating life is so lackluser? I dont have enough cheese wheels?
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u/LeMeuf Jul 01 '21
Haha! I was thinking more for visiting a friend’s house for a dinner/gathering.
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u/misterfluffykitty Jul 01 '21
I love cheese, I’ve always wanted to buy a big wheel of Parmesan but it’s like 400+ for a 20lb wheel
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u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21
Marry her!
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u/theraspberrydaiquiri Jul 01 '21 edited Jul 01 '21
Little did she know this cheddar has been passed down generations and is now considered an exorbitant rarity worth millions
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u/skoolizkool2020 Jul 01 '21
I’m from WI this is practically engagement.
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u/Amazingamy159 Jul 01 '21
WI?
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u/superhacker007 Jul 01 '21
Wisconsin
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u/Amazingamy159 Jul 01 '21
Oh okay. I’m not American
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u/hazeldazeI Jul 01 '21
Context: the fans of their football team wear hats that look like cheese. When my mom was a kid, margarine was illegal in Wisconsin so they’d pitch in a few bucks every time a neighbor crossed that state line into Illinois to get some (butter was too expensive). Wisconsin is known as the dairy state.
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u/superhacker007 Jul 01 '21
I never knew about margarine being illegal, that’s really interesting!
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u/hazeldazeI Jul 01 '21
granted, I'm old and this is when my mom was young so quite a few years ago. But yeah, to protect the dairy industry they made margarine illegal in the state. My mom talks about how the local butcher would sell it under the table or every time a neighbor went to Illinois they would give them money to get some for their families. Butter was too expensive to use except maybe at holidays. I guess one of my mom's chores was to mix the color dot into the block of margarine to make it look yellow and she hated that chore more than anything.
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u/CaptainJAmazing Jul 01 '21
Wisconsin is known for their cheese.
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u/Director_Vasily Jul 01 '21
And not much else. If not for the cheese, it would be the next Ohio/Wyoming it wouldn't exist!
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u/Dweide_Schrude Jul 01 '21
Engagement is squeaky cheese curds. This is more like asking someone to be your prom date.
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u/Malrdux Jul 01 '21
Wait, 12kg of cheese just for going out with him? What’s his number?
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u/Mr_Svidrigailov Jul 01 '21
I'd go on a date with him for a wheen of cheese and I am not even gay.
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u/schouttaky23 Jul 01 '21
Would really like to see this go full circle when this woman recreates the first photo with their firstborn. Hopefully it will not be 12 kg.
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u/jukicuki Jul 01 '21
The cheese should be the Wedding cake
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u/A_cat_typing Jul 01 '21
But he knew she was lactose intolerant! How dairy?!
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u/BurnerForJustTwice Jul 01 '21 edited Jul 01 '21
The udder disrespect!
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u/LordLolzeez Jul 01 '21
I hope this melted her heart. Hopefully she doesn't string him along
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u/Durton24 Jul 01 '21
I gifted my Wisconsinite girlfriend a wheel of pecorino cheese made by my grandpa a couple years ago.
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u/Razgris123 Jul 01 '21
As is pointed out every time this is posted, a 12kg wheel of cheddar cheese has a retail value of like $500+
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u/Keanar Jul 01 '21
More 180€ (Like 12kg*15e per kg)
Still a pretty good gift!
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u/Razgris123 Jul 01 '21
The average price for the cheese is typically $20 or less at retail stores for cheese that's aged for 12 months. At artisanal markets like Eataly it'll cost you around $18 per pound, $5 more than Costco's brand
Even at Costco prices this is $330 worth of cheese, and whole wheels command a premium above just a per pound price.
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u/PatHeist Jul 01 '21
Why on earth would you pay a premium for bulk?
You know cheese is made in wheels right? And if you buy anything less someone has bought a wheel, cut it, repackaged it, redistributed it, and sold it to you at a markup?
Is this some kind of American thing where there's novelty pricing on cheese wheels?
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u/Keanar Jul 01 '21
Yea but as the post is in "kg", I doubt this take place in Murica.
I used euro and UK prices (15€/kg is also good quality / farmer direct sales products)
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u/Flashwastaken Jul 01 '21
You wouldn’t pay retail prices for a bulk purchase.
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u/Jackatarian Jul 01 '21
It really depends on the cheese, I could buy 12kg of cheddar right now from Tesco for £76 ($105)
We can assume Tesco buys it from the farm/brand for less than that.
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u/siriuslyharry Jul 01 '21
I could buy it from Asda for £59.70, it pays to shop around.
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u/Martian_General Jul 01 '21
Yep, it’s “pointed out” every time, and every time it’s nonsense that gets upvoted. Thus the cycles continues.
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u/redguards52 Jul 01 '21 edited Jul 01 '21
Not sure what kind of cheese that is but a full cheese wheel like that usually runs for like $200-$400 so thats quite the expensive gift
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u/Pohenis Jul 01 '21
I’m a dude. If someone gifted me a wheel of cheese, I might actually cry. Kind of tearing up now as it were.
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u/Helvetic_Heretic Jul 01 '21
Best. Gift. Ever!
I might be biased though because i'm swiss. Not many things i wouldn't do for a big wheel of good cheese.
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u/DiscordantScorpion_1 Jul 01 '21
“You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.”
proceeds to give her the whole damn wheel
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u/Practical-Confusion7 Jul 01 '21
Girl you better hurry up because many of us are ready to jump