r/MadeMeSmile • u/Skyscamanderturingg • Jul 25 '21
Giving pets "boring" human names lol <3 ANIMALS
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u/22andunemployed Jul 25 '21
Kelly - Scully’s wife or dog?
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u/Skyscamanderturingg Jul 25 '21
Lmao that was such a funny scene. Did they ever clear that up? My money is on 'dog'
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u/22andunemployed Jul 25 '21
In true Scully fashion he has a wife called Kelly AND his wife is called Kelly.
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u/Skyscamanderturingg Jul 25 '21
Wait so two wives called Kelly?
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u/Font_Snob Jul 25 '21
Titles are even better.
"The President crapped on the rug again."
"Madam Prime Minister can't go to the park, she attacks everyone."
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u/Skyscamanderturingg Jul 25 '21
Good god you're right!!! XD
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u/Kablaaw Jul 25 '21
You'd be delighted to know that there's a town somewhere that has democratically elected a cat to be their mayor. I love democracy >:3
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u/MaxArdite Jul 25 '21
Let's be honest, you give a cat a treat and it will love you forever but it will still be less corrupt than most of the government.
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u/zackatack89 Jul 26 '21
I heard of a town where a goat was running for mayor to unseat the incumbent border collie... God bless 'Merica!
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u/boxster_ Jul 25 '21
I was going to name my cat Mr. President but he was a brat and poorly behaved so I named him Dr. Toast instead. You can tell I adopted him before the 2016 election.
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u/Ineedavodka2019 Jul 25 '21
Had a dog named Morgan. The neighbor kids would come over and ask to play with Morgan. I had never met their parents but told them they had to make sure it was ok with their parents before they could play. Hey would come over, eat all of my popsicles, chase the dog around the house and yard, overall be wild kids then leave. Six months later I saw one of the lids walking with their parents and stopped to say hi to the parents. The kid ran up to Morgan and said “hi Morgan!” And started petting and hugging the dog. The parents face each other a confused look and said, “this is Morgan? Morgan is a dog!?!” Yes, maybe you should have been better parents and verified where your kid was playing. Lucky I was just a nice person giving you free babysitting. Smdh.
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u/chickaboomba Jul 25 '21
AMBERRRRRRRR! Where the hell are you? AMBERRRRRRRRR? Get back here NOW! You better come back inside when I call, or I’m not going to let you out again.
Hello? 911. What is your emergency?
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u/SoDakZak Jul 25 '21
Or conversely, give humans pet names. “Rocket was being extra loud in church fighting over the Cheerios with Spot.
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u/sazmelodies Jul 25 '21
Fluffy has gotten really great at crochet patterns. Just yesterday he finished this sweater. Ms. Tabby is taking baking classes I heard
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u/Bokb3o Jul 25 '21
A friend and I were talking about this last year, like, I love when dog's have people names. I won't ever get a pup cuz I struggle to take care of myself, but I told my buddy I'd definitely give a people name like Gary or Susan or Lisa or Brandon, etc.
A month later or so, he adopted a pup and named him Kevin!
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u/EdwardLewisVIII Jul 25 '21
I had a neighbor whose dog was named Todd. I loved hearing him yelling across the neighborhood TOOOOOOOOODD!
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u/AssociateOk3965 Jul 25 '21
My cats name is Princess Floofy Paws. I would never disgrace her with the name of a common swanky cat. My dog is Mr. Fudge because he’s a grown boy and deserves respect!
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u/BennySkateboard Jul 25 '21
I love Mr Fudge. I feel like he’s got a cool hat, and smokes doggy cigars.
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u/badcatmal Jul 25 '21
It took a long time for coworkers to realize that Dennis was not a boyfriend that I did not allow out on the balcony - because he would jump off.
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u/MamitaTres Jul 25 '21
We had a cat named Kevin!, yes w an exclamation. Because we were always screaming his name like MacAuley Culkins’ mom in Home Alone. That cat was a menace. A cute menace but a menace nonetheless. Maybe Dennis would have been a better name.
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u/Chuckserious Jul 25 '21
I’ll be sure to tell Kevin the goldfish
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u/Skyscamanderturingg Jul 25 '21
awww Kevin the goldfish
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u/Chuckserious Jul 25 '21
Kevin is badass
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u/Chuckserious Jul 25 '21
I bought Kevin a new castle to explore and he headbutted it until I swapped it back for the old one.
Kevin wasn’t impressed
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u/Skyscamanderturingg Jul 25 '21
awww Kevin the badass goldfish
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u/bigdogsandbarbells Jul 25 '21
I had a goldfish named Kevin in college! His predecessor was named Walter.
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u/MisterBiscuitz Jul 25 '21
My cat is named Richard. When he’s being a jerk, I can legitimately call him Dick.
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u/M0ck_duck Jul 25 '21
Olivia wouldn’t stop licking me on the couch last night, when my friends came over she accidentally scratched one of them when saying hi and then wouldn’t stop licking the scratch as if to apologize. Needless to say I was a little embarrassed.
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u/ChugandPlug Jul 25 '21
Even better when they are ferrets. A group of ferrets are called a “Business”. I would spend hours doing business stuff with Greg and Violet.
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u/LlamaDrama007 Jul 25 '21
Now im.rethinking what Vince Adultman meant when he said he did a business.
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u/catsrus3 Jul 25 '21 edited Jul 25 '21
My pets are named: Harvey, Steve, Diana, Emily and Dolly. And the fish is called Zuko. Am I doing it right?
Edit: Pet tax album!
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u/Skyscamanderturingg Jul 25 '21
Oh you're definitely doing it right! <33
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u/Kablaaw Jul 25 '21
Why Zuko? Did your fish also disgrace the fire lord and was exiled to search for the avatar? Hahahaha
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u/catsrus3 Jul 25 '21
He's a red/blue fish, in an alternate ATLA dimension he became a fish to better search for the avatar underwater. Now he's in a tank, living his best life.
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u/FlyGuy21 Jul 25 '21
I have a Kenyan Sand Boa named Preston. I had to run out to get some sand for his tank and called my boss to let him know I'd be late. Funny thing, I have a coworker named Preston also. He couldn't figure out why I was buying him sand until I started laughing like crazy.
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u/V_es Jul 25 '21
It is actually very funny when people do that- Oleg is one of the most common basic Russian names, and just hearing annoyed woman yelling at her dog “Oleg get here right now!!” made me laugh so hard.
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u/YayaMalli Jul 25 '21
We have a cat named Robert. One of my husband’s coworkers thought Robert was our son for like a year before he caught on
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u/xsnarfsnarfx Jul 25 '21
My coworkers cat’s are Bruce and Roger and before I knew he had cats he goes “Roger is a little asshole. He killed a lizard and left half of it on the front porch for my wife to come home to.” And I was like, what a nonchalant way to tell you coworker that your son is a serial killer in the making?
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u/gaybrittop Jul 25 '21
“So Bruce broke Jim’s tail the other day by standing on it funny”
True story
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u/Cokaleen Jul 25 '21
After his divorce my brother got a dog and named her ‘Wife’. That way he never lied when he told someone that he had a wife to go home too. Lol
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u/superdave820 Jul 25 '21
Can confirm, my cat's name is Nathan junior. As in raising Arizona Nathan huffhines.. When my wife talks about him at her medical job people always try to figure out who Nathan is and why he does the strange things he does. It's pretty funny.
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u/PandoraG87 Jul 25 '21
I have a cat named Jim. He’s a very particular guy who likes his pillows and no one else is allowed to sit on them. At night he sleeps on the one next to me. Anyway, one night I had a date over and he took Jim’s pillow to lean on. I joked “Jim’s gunna be mad you stole his pillow.” The dude freaks out asking “who’s Jim? Is he your husband?!” And I laughed and pointed to my cat “ Yes, that’s Jim. He’s my husband.”
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u/ElDiabloBlanco1 Jul 25 '21
All my dogs names since I was in kindergarten in chronological order. Doug, Barney, Mike, Murphy, and Marvin. I'm 41 so I guess I've been doing this awhile.
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u/circulartennis Jul 25 '21
I used to have a hamster called Barry who was really old. I had to take him home for Christmas and said "I hope Barry survives the journey home"... cue some VERY concerned colleagues who for a year had thought Barry was my partner!!
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u/1derwoman1 Jul 25 '21
I had a cat named Mr. Smith who like to open and paw through my nightstand drawer, which held my underwear. I was at a get together with work people and I said to my friend, who knew the cat, "Sorry I'm late. Mr. Smith was going through my underwear drawer again and I had to put it away before I headed over." There was a gasp to my right, and one of my co-workers said, "oh my God! Is that your neighbor?!" 🤣
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u/DucksCantWalk Jul 25 '21
I'm getting rats soon and i know the name for 1 but i'm not sure about the other. I was thinking something like a human name or just a random thing like plane.
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u/probablynotabee Jul 25 '21
I saw someone suggesting the name "grandma" before this. It would be very funny
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u/DaveAndCheese Jul 25 '21
Stop eating out of the cat box Grandma!
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u/mommastang Jul 25 '21
Fack, I’m tired of grandma shitting on the carpet. Can’t she tell me she wants outside when she needs to go number 2??
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u/Gurg3 Jul 25 '21
I have a dog named Ruby (that I've had for 12 years) and I've been dating a girl for 2+years whose sister is also Ruby. My own sister never fails to be confused when I say that my girlfriend, Ruby, and I are going out to do something.
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u/Curious-Pirate-1776 Jul 25 '21
I had a Gary. Cat named after an obscure person my partner idolized, so I said it was after SpongeBob’s snail. He was wonderful.
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u/DexterWeed Jul 25 '21
Funny Story: My aunt had a dog named, let's say Jeff. She met a guy named "Jeff", who she went on to marry. It got really confusing and hella funny.
PS:She tried changing the name of the dog at first but didn't really work, after a while we had to start calling my uncle by his last name.
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u/INeedARefund Jul 25 '21
"Peter headbutted me and blacked my eye, he didn't mean to hurt me though!" Eavesdropping on my conversations have caused a few concerned looks since I got Peter.
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u/katiewind110 Jul 25 '21
Sir William the Miniature aka Willy, Will, William, Wilbur....
We have had Charlie, Mary, Jasmine, Cindy and Zane as well
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u/mantharay Jul 25 '21
We gave my dog a human name nickname because we thought it would be funny. His real name is Stormy (short for Stormageddon) but now he also responds to his human name, Norman.
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u/SonicBoris Jul 25 '21
I have dog-sat TWO Stormin’ Normans! A chocolate lab and Doberman. The lab chewed through a chain link fence, and I had to scream “Norman!” through the streets for 40 minutes. I still think it’s a fantastic dog name!
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u/gh0stegrl Jul 25 '21
Because “adam” mistaking the sand in my empty aquarium for a place to pee sounds better than “cricket”
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u/[deleted] Jul 25 '21
Harold, Oscar, Felix, Willamena, Lucille...
Even our 24 birds (chickens and ducks) have people names.
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u/CJBrig0328 Jul 25 '21
8 out of 11 of my dogs in my lifetime have human names. Out of the 3 that didnt, 2 were named before we got them.
Dogs with human names
Alexis, Zoey, Toby, Layla, Bob, Chuck, Wyatt, Betty
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u/WaitThisIsReal Jul 25 '21
not even kidding my dogs name was grandma and it was so fun to talk about how grandma peed on the deck or how we had to get back home to feed grandma
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u/mlinderstam Jul 25 '21
Our daughter named our cat Sara and this makes fun situations all the time. "We havent seen Sara for two days", "Sara was in a bloody fight", "Sara only eats on the floor"... etc. My coworkers look chocked everytime because they think Im talking about a child. When I booked an appointment at the vet they said "no, not your name, the cats name". Sara is a really common, boring Swedish name.
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u/99Orange Jul 25 '21
My dog’s name is Roger. (Named by my grandson when he was three. He also insisted on calling the neighbors cat Daryl) I never thought of the fact people will think he’s a human but now that I know I am definitely going to make sure I fuck with people. It also makes me think back at my previous posts and chuckle.
“Roger’s stuck under the bed again!”
“I thought I could trust Roger home alone but he’s proven otherwise. The brat hid the hole he was chewing through the arm of my couch with a pillow so I didn’t notice for awhile, which gave him plenty of opportunities to go back for more. I know he knows it was wrong because he ran from the room when I lifted the pillow before I even noticed. Little shit!”
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u/Krieghund Jul 26 '21
Even better is if you marry someone with a pet's name. "So, Fifi and I were having sex the other night..."
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u/aretasdamon Jul 25 '21
My dogs named Shane. Whenever I told Shane to go to his room in college our neighbors through we were talking to our roommate Shane
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u/DLM2019 Jul 25 '21
I had two white boxers. Make and female. We often spent time with “Mr & Mrs White. Lmao. We had dinner. Went camping 😂😂
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u/Sjelan Jul 25 '21
Kyle was digging in the backyard so I shoved his face in the mud and said. "Bad boy!". It's the only way he'll learn.
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u/baebayyy Jul 26 '21
This is like TBBT with Raj when Howard makes up the game, "Cinnamon or Emily" LOL
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u/mehdez80 Jul 26 '21
After a co-worker noticed a bruise on my arm in the elevator at work. "It's my fault really, I know how Roger gets. I should be more careful, it's not his fault." Cue stranger in elevator giving side eye. Me, "Roger is my 90 lb dog, not my partner!"
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u/Rule34FF Jul 26 '21
We named our new dog Kevin, and now I don't even find it funny anymore that we have a dog named Kevin that's just her name
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u/TheRevolutionaryArmy Jul 25 '21
Barry went out for a walk in the park and met another Barry who wasn’t very happy to hear it
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u/high240 Jul 25 '21
I might name my cat either a super nuormal name, or like a really weird one. Or get 2 cats and do both :D
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u/Scrivado13 Jul 25 '21
“Todd shit right in the living room I was cleaning it for hours, sorry I missed the call”
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u/I_am_the_storm11-11 Jul 25 '21
My sister has hamsters called Bill and Bob. She found Bob on top of Bill one day, Bill was screaming. She broke up the fight and now they can’t live together anymore so they’re next door neighbours.
Bob is a git.
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u/lizbuzz Jul 25 '21
You may also eventually end up with a coworker with the same name, and hilarity ensues.
"Trevor would not leave me alone yesterday"
"Is this human-Trevor or cat-Trevor?"
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u/Jyrr Jul 25 '21
The number 2 is great ahahaha it would be the perfect excuse to get out of social groups fast
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u/misterquipster Jul 25 '21
Our cat is named Karen and our dog is named Kevin. We have noticed a couple times recently it can be awkward when you meet someone with the same name as your pet.
The first time I noticed was when I bought a motorcycle from a salesman named Kevin. “Hey our dog name is Kevin!” I said, thinking he would get a kick out of it. The salesman’s face kind of dropped when I told him.
A few weeks later we were looking at an apartment and the guy giving the tour was named Kevin. I learned my lesson and kept my mouth shut.
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u/Loan-Pickle Jul 25 '21
It’s really fun when you end up with a boss that has the same name as your pet.
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u/Compendyum Jul 25 '21
"Jack is a bit old now, but he rather eat directly from the garbage, instead of making his own dinner."
Yup, checks out.
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u/BadBunnyBrigade Jul 25 '21
Even better than human names or human titles... but nouns you use to refer to people like Grandma, Uncle, Auntie, Mom, Dad, etc.
"Sorry I'm late. Grandma shit in my shoes again."
"Sorry, Bob. I just don't know why Grandma keeps shitting and pissing in your flower beds."
"Oooh geeze... Granpa's been sliding his ass across the carpet again. I think he's got worms."
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u/Puzzled-Yam-14 Jul 26 '21 edited Aug 02 '21
Anyone who had toddlers in their house, wouldn’t raise an eyebrow at that (#3), they get into the weirdest places. 😂😂
ETA; #3
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u/meawait Jul 26 '21
My cat was named Tia. I had this happen a few times. Favorite: “I’m sorry I’m late Tia threw up again.”
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u/Gr4v17y-316 Jul 26 '21
My friends cat was named Michael and we would always say random Lost Boys quotes to him all the time
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u/L00katTheAww Jul 26 '21
Dog's name is Abbey. I was talking about her once and said "I love going to bars with Abbey. She sits on my lap and I read a book"
People thought I was talking about my friend Abigal lol
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u/feistylexie13 Jul 26 '21
My dog is named Cody. My cat is named Whitney. Whitney is an absolute brat to her brother....
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u/After_Pangolin_9174 Jul 26 '21
I made a new friend that always talked about his roommate Jeffrey. Months go by, and I finally get the chance to go over to their house to hang out and meet Jeffrey. I couldn’t have been more elated to find out that Jeffrey was actually a Great Dane!
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u/MamaSquash8013 Jul 26 '21
Ray ripped a woodchuck apart and then tracked blood all through the house....again.
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u/erinsmomtoo Jul 26 '21
Have you noticed that adults give their pets people names and children give them names like “Brownie”?
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u/rasco410 Jul 26 '21
My sister named there dog Whiskey. She took him to a friends batch and the 3 year old loved him.
She then goes to another friends house but leaves Whiskey behind as they have another dog that does not get along with other dogs well. The 3 year tries to play with this dog but its having none of it the child then goes up to the mother and shouts "I want whiskey, I was allowed whiskey last night why I am not allowed whiskey now?"
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u/JustinYepis Jul 26 '21
This would've gone a completely different way if it was in any other subreddit
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u/meanswellington Jul 26 '21
I’ve been considering getting a long hair border collie and calling her Sarah.
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u/B0swell_D0ddler Jul 26 '21
My dog's name is Forest after my dad's old biker buddy that took care of me and my sister a while back. I could never use these excuses because I work with my dad.
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u/zparrowhawk Jul 26 '21
My dog has a semi-common human name. I once yelled at him to stop something, and a nearby person that shared the name was very confused as to what they had done to warrant being yelled at by a random stranger. He also wondered how I knew his name.
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u/TiogaJoe Jul 26 '21
I used to joke with my nephew about giving pets human names. He recently got a cat and named him Bob. "Bob escaped today, but luckily he didn't get very far and I found him. He's back locked up in the house."
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u/DianneTodd01 Jul 26 '21
My husband picked up medication once at the pharmacy for Lola. The pharmacy tech asked him to confirm her birthdate. He said, “I have no idea.” The tech looked at him like he was the worst parent ever until he added, “She’s my cat.”
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u/Argyleskin Jul 26 '21
Can confirm, a friend thought “Everton” was my son. Everton is my bull terrier. Friend asked why I was buying chew toys and not teething rings for my child.
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u/RedMossySquirrel Jul 25 '21
So Jeff was eating some garbage the other day…