r/MadeMeSmile • u/i_lab_everyone • Aug 10 '21
thought this was kinda wholesome lol Good Vibes
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u/SaintVanilla Aug 10 '21
"I'm not an executioner; I'm just the best goddamn bird professor in the world."
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u/bruteski226 Aug 10 '21
Now what say you and I go toe-to-toe on bird-law and see how comes out the victor?
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u/Itherial Aug 10 '21
Yeah, well... filibuster.
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u/I_Got_Back_Pain Aug 10 '21
Okay. Well we're all hungry. We'll get to our hot-plates soon enough. Let's talk about the contract here.
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u/Garnushim_Implick Aug 10 '21
Keep in mind though, bird law in this country is not governed by reason.
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u/GleichUmDieEcke Aug 10 '21
Now I want you to ask this bird, "Did you attack Liam McPoyle!"
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u/supahfligh Aug 10 '21
Well this is a bit embarrassing, Your Honor. Perhaps this man has lied about his credentials. Fortunately, I am familiar with a little bit of pigeon. Perhaps I can get through to it in some way.
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u/EsotericOcelot Aug 10 '21
I once took a few mystery bugs from my dorm room to a professor of entomology on campus. He invited me in and offered me water and tea and seemed so happy to talk about these very mundane insects I had gathered. I thanked him for his time and he said, “Nonsense, it’s so nice to have a visitor!”
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u/MamaBirdJay Aug 10 '21
I once caught a spider that was bright red and pretty. I couldn’t id it but it looked like a spider from the other side of the country, so I sent a pic to the head of the North American Arachnid Society, which has a spider Id volunteer program. He wrote me back because he was excited that he couldn’t id it and then he got in touch with the world expert in North American jumping spiders and we finally got our id. I think these experts love a challenge and love sharing their passion with people, especially amateurs and kids.
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u/imgrandojjo Aug 10 '21
Depends on the professor but there are thousands out there who sink decades into learning something and rejoice in the opportunity to share the knowledge
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u/etherealparadox Aug 10 '21
My high school Latin teacher was like this. You could just tell the guy really, genuinely loved teaching us all about the language and linguistic history and Roman history. Best teacher I've ever had.
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u/imgrandojjo Aug 10 '21
I've had some great History teachers, and it really fed my love for the subject, so believe me, I get that!
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u/AlbertoFandango Aug 10 '21
My high school Latin teacher was amazing, too! The way you described him sounds just like her. I loved that class so much.
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u/kindersaft Aug 10 '21
Just not gonna tell us what it was?
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u/MamaBirdJay Aug 10 '21
Lol! Sorry ya’ll it was p. Princeps- I put some of his emails in another response if you want to read.
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u/FoxInTheMountains Aug 10 '21
I got a masters in geochemistry and focused on mineralogy and do environmental chemistry for work. I also spend most of my weekends hunting down obscure minerals for my collection. When someone asks me to ID a rock/mineral I lose my mind and the other person ends up sitting through a 1 hour lecture on the rock/mineral.
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u/TheYankunian Aug 10 '21
This is so wholesome I could scream. My dad worked at a university with a lot of Nobel Prize winning scientists and they’d geek out showing 8 year old me and my little sister all sorts of complicated shit they were doing. Or talking about astrophysics. Gotta love scientists!
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u/InterPool_sbn Aug 10 '21
What are a few of your favorite rock/mineral fun facts?
Feel free to go into as much or as little detail as you want 😃
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u/leintic Aug 10 '21
not op but i am an environmental geologist. basically the same thing as op but he looks at an environment from the bottom up where i look at environments from the top down. one of my favorite facts is if you remember back to your middle school earth science class you learned about plutons. how they are basically giant magma intrusions and the major structure of igneous rocks. they dont exist. they are thousands of dikes that intrude one after another and produce enough heat to erase the lines between intrusions. making them metamorphic rocks. so metamorphic rocks are now the most common rock on earth. my other favorite tidbit at the moment is that no one can agree what an emerald is. the old definition of a mineral (there is a new one but no one really uses it yet and I forgot it about 2 mins after learning it because intro major geology classes are incredibly dense) is a non organic naturally occuring solid with a defined chemical and crystalize composition. well up till about 30 years ago virtually the worlds entire supply of emeralds came from columbia. but then they found major deposits in brazil. only problem is they get their color from a different trance element. so they should classify as a different mineral. well no one is going to buy green beryl so there was/is a massive debate on what is an emerald. the american gemological society has said that any green beryl is an emerald but you ask ten different geologist what an emerald is you will get ten different answers.
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u/Master-Ad-7442 Aug 10 '21
Took a geology course during my first undergrad, and minerals/rocks nearly got me a failing grade. I had to have 100 different minerals/rocks memorized for the midterm, and I swear there were pictures of the same rock just flipped over that looked the exact same, but somehow weren’t.
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u/FoxInTheMountains Aug 10 '21
Hahaha
Yeah you have to remember all the little diagnostic features of the minerals. For some of them is can be very miniscule. Also, a lot of the time is near impossible without having it in your hand and doing a few tests. It's also something that takes years of looking at them until you start to understand the common from the rare occurrences.
Like I frequent r/whatisthisrock and 90% of the posts are pictures of some form of quartz haha. Very rarely do people post something difficult to identify.
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u/Master-Ad-7442 Aug 10 '21
Nifty page. Anything new ever come up where y’all really have to dig in and do research to figure something out?
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u/FoxInTheMountains Aug 10 '21
Very rarely. Although people usually do a good job about saying where it came from, which is usually a dead giveaway for the type of rock/mineral. You start to realize mineral/rock forms are usually only found in certain regions. And if you are an active collector in that region, it's easy to identify.
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u/thr0w4w4y528 Aug 10 '21
What kind of spider was it? I need to know!
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u/NachoChedda24 Aug 10 '21
Did it end up being a jumping spider from the other side of the country?
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u/Inanna26 Aug 10 '21
I’m getting a PhD now. A lot of people assume that experts in fields don’t want “stupid questions”. In fact, those are usually questions that I can answer pretty well, and at this point talking about my field is low key one of my favorite topics of conversation. I typically assume that no one else wants to talk about it, so I take steps to make sure no one gets caught in a conversation with me about it, but man… you deliberately ask me a question AND ask follow up questions when I answer? It’s the best!!!
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u/summonsays Aug 10 '21
I don't know about other people but I really like "stupid" questions. I don't have a PHD or anything, but have been doing software engineering for 8 years. I love them because they're easy and I can answer them and feel like maybe I actually do know what I'm talking about sometimes. And I get to teach someone else something they didn't know before.
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u/GrumpyMcGrumpyPants Aug 10 '21 edited Aug 10 '21
One of my podcast mainstays--Ologies--is built on this premise: scientists are passionate people who want to share their knowledge. The (unofficial?) tagline is, "Ask smart people dumb questions."
(though, to be honest, I don't like the tagline much--the questions aren't dumb!)
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u/Inanna26 Aug 10 '21
That’s awesome!!
And yeah, stupid questions are very rarely dumb. In my experience they’re typically the questions in talks that I’m secretly hoping someone will ask.
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u/GrumpyMcGrumpyPants Aug 10 '21
It's been a long time since I was in a conference/conference-like setting, but I recall being annoyed at a lot of questions that seemed to be:
(1) trying to find holes in the findings/proof (which is a legitimate line of inquiry, but can be done in a manner that feels more like, "Ah ha, gotcha!" and less like collaboratively improving collective knowledge)
(2) a way to show off how smart/educated the asker is, disguised as a question. Often prefaced with, "this is not a question."
Meanwhile, I'm curious if the subjects of study (mice, fish, etc.) are ticklish.
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u/Daisy_Of_Doom Aug 10 '21
What I’ve learned since I’ve been pursuing entomology is yeah, of course you’ll get the occasional eccentric ecologist/entomologist that thinks they’re all high and mighty bc they’ve got a PhD. But in my experience like 90% of them are just kids that never truly grew up and really love what they do and love when others love it too! I’m glad you had a good experience!
Edit: also shoutout to r/whatsthisbug for all your random insect ID needs!
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u/itsokitsokitsjustme Aug 10 '21
success! smile achieved
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u/i_lab_everyone Aug 10 '21
＼(≧▽≦)／
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u/REDit0024 Aug 10 '21
( ╹▽╹ )
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u/Your_One_Lord Aug 10 '21
' ︶ '
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u/Warkan47 Aug 10 '21
:)
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u/AhYesAHumanPerson Aug 10 '21
☆:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:☆
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u/retrohGamr Aug 10 '21
:D
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u/DJ_Clitoris Aug 10 '21
c:
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u/_UsUrPeR_ Aug 10 '21
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u/easyj86 Aug 10 '21
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u/_UsUrPeR_ Aug 10 '21
For the record, that phrase still confuses everyone who hears it nine years later.
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u/IllustriousAd2579 Aug 10 '21
this is so funny because I wasn't sure they did either but I saw a hummingbird sit on my clothesline on my backyard yesterday. was the coolest thing I've personally witnessed in a long time, they're fascinating creatures.
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u/didyouwoof Aug 10 '21
My hummingbird feeders have rings around the base so they can perch while they feed. It’s really cool to watch.
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u/para_sight Aug 10 '21
As a biologist, one of the most fun things I've ever done was moderate a very drunken pub argument over whether Penguins were birds or fish (except that one guy who reckoned they were invertebrates, he was out there in the ether)
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u/Grotzky Aug 10 '21
But like why would a bird species not have feet, every bird species has feet
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u/ubiquitous-joe Aug 10 '21
Well yeah, but we also live in a world where snakes exist.
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u/Grotzky Aug 10 '21
Are there some snake species with feet?
I'm aware of remnants of toes and such, but not feet.
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u/snflowerings Aug 10 '21
I believe snakes with feet are classified as lizards
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u/UnderControl_ Aug 10 '21
I think that's not necessarily the distinction - though I'm not sure exactly what is, maybe eyelids?
If I remember correctly there are legless lizards that look pretty similar to snakes. Maybe a snake with legs be classified differently? I need answers now
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u/snflowerings Aug 10 '21
Oh damn, youre right. I have a vague memory of finding a "snake" on a field day in elementary school only to be told that its, in fact, a legless lizard, made for a fun impromptu lesson for my class lol. Idk the english name but the german one is Blindschleiche if i remember it correctly
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u/Dominicanteven Aug 10 '21
So this is what people did before Google 😂
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u/Lutya Aug 10 '21
My dad had worms living in our pond and he was worried they were invasive. He captured one and took it down to the local college for help identifying it. I’m sure google has freed up a lot of professors time.
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u/Yuezmell Aug 10 '21 edited Aug 10 '21
Although it does take up their time, I imagine professors may love doing that kind of field work, especially if it's brought to them. I guess if you aren't sick of the subject you've dedicated your career to, you might get a kick out of sharing your expertise with fellow curious minds.
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u/PossibleLocksmith Aug 10 '21
One of my favorite hobbies in college was to ask my professors all the inane questions that popped into my head when we both had the time.
Why does concrete dry? How come some things are soft and others are hard? Why don’t dogs get sunburned?
Usually got a smile out of the professors.
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u/someguy3 Aug 10 '21
Why does concrete dry?
It actually cures. It undergoes a chemical reaction that uses the water.
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u/SasparillaTango Aug 10 '21
It actually cures.
... like bacon?
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u/LouManShoe Aug 10 '21
When I go to the doctor, they prescribe me bacon. Usually works, but then again maybe I should get a new doctor.
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u/THEBHR Aug 10 '21
Also, it's really complicated. To the point that even to this day, there are new things being learned about concrete. It was only recently, that they rediscovered the ancient Roman recipe, that has the unusual characteristic of getting stronger over the years, instead of weaker like modern concrete.
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u/MadamSnarksAlot Aug 10 '21
As an undergrad in Physical Anthropology class I asked “why do we have a buttcrack?” The answer was a simple “So our legs can move independently of one another.” Seems obvious now, I know.
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u/ritr135 Aug 10 '21
You are not allowed to leave me hanging. Why don't dogs get sunburned I must know!
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u/ItsRunt Aug 10 '21
They do get sunburned! But their fur usually protects them. I have hairless dogs and you have to apply sunscreen to their skin in the summer :)
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u/Theoldquarryfoxhunt Aug 10 '21
Why do worms come out of the ground when it rains? Are they drowning?!?
Answer: No, they are responding to the vibration in the ground and moving away from it. They associate that vibration with a predator.
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u/PossibleLocksmith Aug 10 '21
It seems silly that they come out of the ground but I like when they do
Hello wormies
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u/summonsays Aug 10 '21
They actually come out because they can relocate and move much faster overground. The rain both a) ensures they won't die from drying out and b) shields them from most predators, birds, who don't fly while it's raining.
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u/djinnisequoia Aug 10 '21
I grew up around hummingbirds, as they nested in a tree in our front yard. I knew that they had a little tune they sang at certain times of the day. But people online told me that hummingbirds don't have vocal cords and that was impossible.
So I found a paper online by a woman who specializes in researching hummingbirds, and I wrote her and asked her about it. I got the nicest email back, saying I was right, and she used my letter to show to her students how their work mattered to average people.
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u/El_Chutacabras Aug 10 '21
Hey! That's nice! There's a hummingbird that comes through my window every morning. I decided not to name it so I don't get attached but I can't help.
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u/IHaveNoEgrets Aug 10 '21
Our university has an amazing set of professors who work with dangerous spiders, and they know people freak out about spiders in general. So they put together a really helpful, very accessible website on identifying dangerous vs. not.
And if you find what you think is a brown recluse, you're welcome to bring it in for identification and study. Even if it's flat.
So yes. Some professors absolutely do like that field work. Even squished.
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u/A_Glimmer_of_Hope Aug 10 '21
Not a professor, but a 10 year Linux Systems Administrator vet.
I will talk your ear off about how cool Linux is.
Sadly, people usually don't want to talk to me about Linux after the first time lol.
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u/Ndi_Omuntu Aug 10 '21
Drove through Nebraska on a road trip once and saw the local paper at a gas station. Front page story was "Sometimes a Rock is Just a Rock."
Farmer finds strange rock in his field. Thinks maybe it's a meteorite or fossil or something. His daughter goes to the state school so he gives it to her and she goes to a geology professor or something. They examine it and it's neither a meteorite nor fossil. It's a regular ol rock.
This was in like 2013 I think. Story was big enough to be broken up from the front page and continued on page 6.
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u/Papaofmonsters Aug 10 '21
I live in Nebraska and have family in some of the smaller towns. A lot of those towns have small newspapers that refuse to die and will report anything of note. Given that it's rural Nebraska, a strange rock might just qualify.
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u/Ndi_Omuntu Aug 10 '21
I'm all for local journalism! There are certainly worse things for someone to get into in a small town. The story tickled me for sure lol.
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u/posixUncompliant Aug 10 '21
Small town papers are the absolute best.
You can find accurate science reporting on stuff like this there. Because hey, people from town were involved so we can explain how a mass spectrometer works, which is cool.
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u/cute_but_lethal Aug 10 '21
The Guinness Book of World Records - it was invented for the purpose of preventing bar brawls.
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u/Ventrik Aug 10 '21
Was easier to hit someone with that book than my fiat tbh.
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u/CptMclachlan Aug 10 '21
Try taking the car out of park, really out does the book once it's movin
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u/Aimin4ya Aug 10 '21
They actually created it over an argument about the world's fastest flying game bird. In the first edition they forgot to put in what the world's fastest flying game bird was
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u/hehatesthesecans Aug 10 '21
I went to school at Bowling Green State University back in the early 90’s (go Falcons) and they had a campus Q&A line you could call 24/7 with literally any question. It was supposed to be a homework help line - they would take your info and call you back after researching an answer. It was fucking awesome for settling bar bets. I used it for years, even after college wherever I was living.
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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21
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u/hehatesthesecans Aug 10 '21
I wonder if they still do it? We would sit in our apartment around a large Miles pizza and garlic loaf and come up with stupid stuff to ask. Good memories.
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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21
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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21 edited 14d ago
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u/flippy_nips_ Aug 10 '21
How on earth would they be able to locate a poem from only three lines? Impressive work!
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u/44problems Aug 10 '21
I kinda miss those days. Pete Holmes has a bit about the wonder of not knowing. It used to be fun to argue about lyrics and movies and someone running to get some reference book to prove you wrong. Or randomly calling friends like this.
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u/OPs_Mom_and_Dad Aug 10 '21
Patron 1: Just Google it.
Patron 2: Fuck Google!
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u/H4R81N63R Aug 10 '21 edited Aug 10 '21
Patron 3: duckduckgo is where it's at
Patron 4: ...do ducks have feet?
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u/my_advisor Aug 10 '21
. . . yes
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u/MaxArdite Aug 10 '21
Patron 1: Just Google it Patron 2: Great idea! googles ornithologists number Patron 1: *faceplams'
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u/sixthandelm Aug 10 '21
I kinda hate that Google shut down those kind of debates for the most part.
I remember my friend group went WILD when someone was finally able to tell us the name of the third Chipette, after years of us debating.
Edit: it was Jeanette, by the way. Brittany, Eleanor and Jeanette.
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u/fireflydrake Aug 10 '21
On the other end, I can't imagine how frustrating combating misinformation must have been then. It's bad enough NOW when with two clicks of a button you can pull up a dozen research articles on almost any subject. I can only imagine if it was a completely he said she said affair.
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u/Andy_B_Goode Aug 10 '21
Yeah, but today you're also just two clicks away from all kinds of misinformation.
I think things are better today for people who are genuinely curious and want to learn more about a given subject, but combatting misinformation is arguably harder now than it was prior to the world wide web.
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u/annoyingstranger Aug 10 '21
OP doesn't specify how long ago they were in grad school; bar trivia games have existed longer than Google.
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u/MentryTRex Aug 10 '21
This is how the Guinness Book of World Records came to be. Guinness beer was produced to put an end to barroom brawls.
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u/fuzzysarge Aug 10 '21
Tell that to Wade Boggs who thought that Pitt the Elder was England's greatest Prime Minister. Barny and him could have used a copy of that book.
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u/ExtractionImperative Aug 10 '21
Before the internet, most questions were answered this way.
"Hey, what kind of stone were the pyramids made of?"
"Wow, good question. Isn't Dave's brother like into Egypt and stuff? Let's ask him!"
I mean unless you went to the library but most random questions were answered like this.
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u/skymaverick5 Aug 10 '21 edited Aug 10 '21
Friends are in a heated argument about whether hummingbird have feet. Me: “Don’t worry. I know a guy” this
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u/evilplantosaveworld Aug 10 '21
I wonder if he found it an annoying waste of time, or was he flattered.
I'm definitely not a professor but I always love when someone trusts my knowledge enough to come to me with an off the wall question.
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u/Such_sights Aug 10 '21
Not an ornithologist but I am an epidemiologist, and I LOVE when people humor me and let me geek out about some crazy disease I just read about. Also, coincidentally, I took a human anatomy lab in college that was led by a zoology student that specialized in avian physiology. Every single lecture was some variation of “this is how this organ system functions in a human, but now I’m going to tell you how it would function in birds in excruciating detail…” Guy was nice enough but I did not do well in that class and he may have played a part…
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u/LaenFinehack Aug 10 '21
This was probably because hummingbirds are in the order "Apodiformes". A-Pod == No Feet!
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u/Pahoalili Aug 10 '21
I live in Hawaii, where there are ZERO hummingbirds. But my local Tru-Value hardware store has hummingbird feeders for sale. Needless to say, they have been gathering dust for years. I would love to tell the manager why nobody buys the feeders, but I’m too shy.
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u/summonsays Aug 10 '21
What's he going to do with them if he knew though? Pay to ship them back? May as well keep them on the shelf. Maybe someone will buy for decoration.
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u/Nickoasdf1 Aug 10 '21
That's honestly kind of surprising that there aren't any native hummingbird species. What's more surprising to me is that they're also outright banned https://birdfeederhub.com/why-arent-there-hummingbirds-in-hawaii/
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u/Imfrank123 Aug 10 '21
Before smart phones were in everyone’s pocket I remember my buddies would call this number and it was some university that had a program set up where you call and ask them a question and they look it up for you. Settled many a bar bets.
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u/FeministLovely Aug 10 '21
Science ftw, damnit!
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u/i_lab_everyone Aug 10 '21
less goo science haha
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u/Pizza_Slinger83 Aug 10 '21
This confused me for a second.
"Does science have too much goo?" -me
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u/rediculousradishes Aug 10 '21
Some believe there is not enough goo in science. This a heated debate in science circles everywhere
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u/gemini_pain Aug 10 '21
I do this a lot too actually, without the alcohol though. I love to issue “challenges” to my coworkers to see if anyone can figure out the answer to a problem without using the internet. I’ve gotten them to call family and friends for the dumbest stuff! My favorite was when I got around 8 nurses, doctors, and support staff to play along to figure out who was on the $50 bill. It was a fun hour of yelling “NO GOOGLE!” and “we got a vote for president X over here! Another vote for general Y!!!”
Good times.
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u/Pmmenothing444 Aug 10 '21
Not Jackson or Franklin, is it Grant?
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u/ICanFinishToThis Aug 10 '21
I thought it was Hamilton but I think it’s actually Grant.
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u/MasonP2002 Aug 10 '21
Hamilton's on the $10, right? Pretty sure it is Grant on the $50.
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u/KlassenT Aug 10 '21
Can confirm; back in our broke-college-student days we had the phrase "Hamilton Party" where everyone just brings their favorite cheap 6-pack and a pack of smokes, normally ran right about ten bucks.
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u/Mary-U Aug 10 '21 edited Aug 10 '21
In the college bar near my university there was a set of Encyclopedia Brittanica, a copy of both Homer’s Iliad & Odyssey, Plato’s Republic, the Marx Engels reader, the OED, etc just settling bar disputes.
It was the 1980s. This was the way.
RIP, Jimmy’s in Hyde Park.
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u/johnsmind Aug 10 '21
So the professor was a bird?
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u/lawofthewilde Aug 10 '21
Friend 1 “hummingbirds don’t have feet” Friend 2 “yes the fuck they do” Friend 1 “how do you know. You some kinda bird expert or something?” Friend 2 “hold my beer”
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u/farrenkm Aug 10 '21
So -- what would this look like for professions from others here? For me as a network engineer:
Drunk guy: DO ETHERNET FRAMES HAVE MAC ADDRESSES?
Me: Ummm . . . Yes . . .
(wild cheering over phone from bar)
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u/Suyefuji Aug 10 '21
That's way too intelligent of a question though
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u/sintaur Aug 10 '21
I'm not a networking guy. You mean the frame embeds the source and dest MAC address, right?
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u/farrenkm Aug 10 '21
Correct. Frame starts with the destination MAC address, followed by the source address.
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u/zsturgeon Aug 10 '21
Ah, the time before Google when people could make shit up at a bar and nobody could fact check them.
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u/bumbletowne Aug 10 '21
I worked for my zoologist professor in uni for a bit.
He was cool.
One day I'm opening up boxes in his office and there's all these plaster casts of what were possibly tracks.
I asked him what they were and he said he needs to go through them and verify them for people.
I asked what they wanted verified and he told me they think they are bigfoot prints and he's supposed to debunk them. He was like the world expert on 'this sort of thing' which apparently was hominid tracks.
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u/Wolfie_Rankin Aug 10 '21
Do lemons have legs?
No.
Damn, I think I just squeezed a canary into my glass.
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u/Jaythepatsfan Aug 10 '21
Back in my Army days I had an afternoon where leadership was gone, everything was done and I had a few Soldiers for an hour before the long weekend started. So we just started shooting the shit when an insane debate about who would win in a fight…an emperor penguin or a raccoon.
It went on for about 20 minutes, both sides arguing hella passionately, when I decided to call the penguin exhibit at a local zoo.
I presented her with a ridiculous back story and well…raccoon wins, but an emperor penguin could get lucky since their flippers are pretty strong.
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u/tuna_tofu Aug 10 '21
All hummingbirds except Ted. This one time Ted was in the garden and a cat came along...well anyway, now Ted only has ONE foot...
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u/youcredulousdolt Aug 10 '21
In my college town there was a lawyer who posted billboards around town that said "Need Advice?" and my friends and I would call him anytime we couldn't decide what to eat or which movie to see. He always helped us choose.