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u/Woulda-Coulda-Didnt 27d ago
Op was a baby Druid
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u/raisinghellwithtrees 27d ago
Trees are the best friends.
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u/RefuseReduceRecycle 27d ago
Upvote went immediately at the first line when she/he wrote "I thought I could talk to trees"
<3
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u/IamThatHigh 27d ago
Kevin, i need a million dollars.
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u/technowarlock 27d ago
What, you think money just grows on trees!?
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u/Henriquekill9576 27d ago
where does paper come from
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u/Rainbow_Rae 27d ago
Kevin is better at protecting kids from schoolyard bullies than most teachers.
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u/Njadmessi11YT 27d ago
Did you know you actually can talk to trees. Singing often increases a plants growth speed
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u/flamehound8304 27d ago
Isn’t it because you’re basically feeding them CO2?
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u/Erdudvyl28 27d ago
That and the vibration of the dirt makes it grow better. I think Mythbusters did one and found that heavy metal made plants grow the best.
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u/SoFetchBetch 27d ago
Yep! Plants love metal :) this factoid never ceases to make me smile.
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u/Luecleste 27d ago
They also like classical.
My mum had two identical plants, each was on top of a speaker for the stereo. My uncle had used the stereo a couple of years earlier while she was out, and had the volume so loud one of the speakers didn’t work properly.
We went through a Tchaikovsky phase, and played a lot of his works. The plant on the fully working speaker grew to the ground before the other one had gotten below the speaker.
It was hilarious when people asked her how she’d gotten it to grow so fast and her answer was classical music lol.
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u/AnalStaircase33 27d ago
Classical music is metal.
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u/Luecleste 27d ago
Oh definitely, but some people don’t realise it.
What else do you call music that has freaking cannons in it though? Lol
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u/Njadmessi11YT 27d ago
No because they have a life and if you believe it can be.
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u/flamehound8304 27d ago
Oh yes how silly of me
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u/Njadmessi11YT 27d ago
Yeah screw science believ in believe
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u/bluray-gaming 27d ago
No don’t say that antivaxxers might use this as their sources.
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u/Njadmessi11YT 27d ago
Good so then later I can be elected as their leader then I will give a speech and say nah y’all dumb as
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u/GamerY7 27d ago
Plants have feelings too, and I'm glad I'm not kidding
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u/Njadmessi11YT 27d ago
When cutting grass the fresh smell is their screams
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u/ChaosAzeroth 27d ago
Good to see I'm not the only one who will insert this into relevant conversations like this lol
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u/Njadmessi11YT 27d ago
I've only ever said this like 3 timed
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u/ChaosAzeroth 27d ago
Tbh how often do you think I do? Like how often do you think it's relevant in a conversation?
I'm not quite sure if you've overestimated or underestimated me as a person here.
(This as well as the comment before is totally meant in a very lighthearted way, which is why I put lol in the previous one. I'm just trying to have a bit of jovial conversation I promise, not making fun or being confrontational.)
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u/Spiceyhedgehog 27d ago
Tbh how often do you think I do?
ChaosAzeroth on a first date
Date: "How was your food?"
ChaosAzeroth: "Good. Did you know the fresh smell of newly cut grass is the scream of the grass?"
ChaosAzeroth when their child is born
ChaosAzeroth kisses baby cheek
ChaosAzeroth: "The fresh scent of recently cut grass is their version of screaming."
ChaosAzeroth shot a deer and run up to it
ChaosAzeroth: "The scream of newly cut grass is their fresh scent".
Deer: "Yeerp..."
ChaosAzeroth at business meeting
ChaosAzeroth: "Then it is settled. We will open up our next shop of our franchise in Vancouver. When cutting grass the fresh smell is their screams."
Everyone else: "Oka... huh?"
ChaosAzeroth watches their cat eat food
ChaosAzeroth: "When you cut grass the fresh smell is their screams."
Cat: "..." munch munch
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u/KareemOWheat 27d ago
I mean technically you can talk to anything. Whether or not it hears you or actually does anything is another matter.
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u/Kailaylia 27d ago
Nothing wrong in talking to trees, just avoid the willows. They gossip terribly.
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u/GuardianAngel86 27d ago
As someone who speaks exclusively to Willows, can confirm. But they give great advice.
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u/GuitarCFD 26d ago
No no no that’s the birches and maples, Willows are always depressing. What you want is a good pine they will sit and talk to you all day about the good old days when the rain was wetter, but if you want to know how to save the world you need an old oak.
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u/Hopeful_Arugula2807 27d ago
I never talked to the trees ,but I was sure they know me and they won't let me fall. I use to go to the top and get lost on my books ,sometimes fell asleep.
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u/Vyngersnap 27d ago
Same :) In my family's garden there was this over 100y old cherry tree that I always climbed on and read books on. I felt like I had such a deep bond to that tree and always apologized to it when I would break off a branch or a large piece of bark. Never really talked to it in the way OP would but every time I come to visit I like to say Hi to it.
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u/hellfire103 27d ago
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u/thekickastronaut 27d ago
and then everyone started clapping, and oprah came and gave him a million dollars!!
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u/Available_Coyote897 27d ago
At summer camp one year my friend’s girlfriend was being gross and possessive but he couldn’t break up with her. So, i carved an evil totem from a small branch i found for him to give to her. He did and later that night ants crawled out and covered her bunk while she slept. Nature is mine to wield.
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u/Alpha00Z 27d ago
Great idea sell your evil ant totems and say there a good way of getting out of a possessive relationship
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u/zombieparadise23 27d ago
I thought I was the only one who talked and played with trees. My tree friends were olive tree.
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u/Jen_Mari_Apa 27d ago
When I was a kid, I was fat. Friends were scarce and people thought I was weird because even though the popular girls would always isolate me when playing games, I would still “play” with them. I started to use imagination as a way to show my friends that I was coool. Well…. That turned into a problem because all the kids thought my mom was the coolest mom cause I did all the craziest things. I told them I controlled the weather (thank you Storm from X-men). I had a small cart bike that took me anywhere (Bobby’s world) and I went to New York for vacation and gave amazing descriptions of buildings and places (thank you Sesame Street). It was so wild that the teacher went to my mother and asked her about our vacation time in New York (teacher used to live there). When my mom lied and said oh it was great, that was the day my mother discovered I wasn’t smart at learning things by explanation, but visual. I drew and explained everything I saw on Sesame Street in my school journal. She was amazed but I got a whoopin for lying to friends and teachers.
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u/Thritzer 27d ago
you really believe this?
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u/BirdOfEvil 27d ago
Fuck it, why not. It’s an odd coincidence but plausible, and it doesn’t hurt anybody to think it could have happened
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u/1NastyMF 27d ago
Trees are living creatures just like dogs and cats. I see no harm in verbally communicating with them. Who is to say they don’t understand us? After all they’ve been around long before humans. Surely they’re more intelligent than we think.
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u/SoFetchBetch 27d ago
They’ve proven in experiments that plants have a form of memory, we just don’t understand it fully. And they respond positively to music. Plants are alive and they have a form of perception.
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u/Lyndonn81 27d ago
Plus our breath is their food. Isn’t it? Maybe someone has research to prove that wrong now
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u/tiaradactyl 27d ago
When I talk to my garden I swear the plants grow more. They love my neighbors who plant sit more than me though.
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u/b00giebuns 27d ago
Growing up I lived in a duplex and the back yard was separated by a fence down the middle. I was like 4 years old and would talk to all kinds of inanimate objects and one day one of the bushes along the fence in my back yard legitimately started talking back to me. Told everyone that there was a talking bush in my back yard and of course everyone just laughed it off and it was a little bonkers. Later on years after we moved out of that place, my mom told me that it was the neighbor gardening on the other side of the wooden fence talking to me and I thought it was the bush 🥺
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u/SinnerMan72 27d ago
Instant well deserved karma.
You CAN actually talk to trees, plants, flowers, etc. They are living things, a good mood and singing will actually help them grow and be significantly healthier.
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u/BlueMoon16428 27d ago
Kevin = Instant karma
And dangggg Kevin really be out here with that instant clapback.
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u/Brownieturd 27d ago
It’s so weird I was just like this as a kid. I’d climb up a tamarind tree, sit in it and started talking to it. One day my neighbor was eavesdropping and I didn’t see her for a while. Then I saw her. I immediately climbed down and rushed into the house out of embarrassment. My parents cut it down some time later. I miss that tree. It was my good friend.
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u/Upinmybuttt 27d ago
when I was really lonely I asked the trees if it isn't boring for them to always be standing in the same spot. they answered telepathically 'eh, watcha gonna do about it?' trees, man.
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u/luca_cinnam00n 27d ago
I talk to plants all the time, I hug trees too, and that's because I have no friends. I name my plants too <3 (ily Rhea)
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u/GhostAndARose 27d ago
Is it funny to anyone else that all these obviously made up stories that reach the front page all have female villains?
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u/lattelatto 27d ago
I mean, talking to a tree would be seen as freaky
Nonetheless, talking to trees is great :)
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u/Tanzanianwithtoebean 27d ago
Remember that study they did where they played differing genres of music for plants and they grew more when played positive upbeat music? Kevin knew what was going on and he did what any tree friend would.
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u/MadDingersYo 27d ago
This is so goddamn stupid. I can't believe it has 20k+ upvotes.
On second thought, I can totally believe that.
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u/Secure-Imagination11 27d ago
I took stuffed animals outside to play with me until I was 12. I miss my little buddies.
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u/CatsOverFlowers 27d ago
Wait, other people did this too? Mine was named Matilda. I was sad to see someone cut her down a couple years ago...
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u/BraveBeet 27d ago
We all need a Kevin in our life