r/MadeMeSmile • u/j308887 • 20d ago
Been struggling with multiple issues for the past few years (self esteem, midlife crisis stuff). Felt really good about myself this morning and feel like I’m finally heading in the right direction! Personal Win
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u/Bobby_Rotkop 20d ago
Well at least you're able to grow a proper beard, looking good, bro! I shaved mine today, I look at lot older when I let it grow, but that doesn't seem to be an issue for you.
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u/j308887 20d ago
The beard took a while to be worth growing. It didn’t fill in on the corners of my mouth until about 5 years ago (I was 36).
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u/MorochIgaram 20d ago
So I'm not alone in this. I turned 35 yesterday, and only last year my beard started to finally fill my entire face. For most of my life I only hand a mustache and goatee. I still have hopes of getting a full beard during my lifetime, ahahah.
And I'm glad you're doing fine. I was with a severe depression in the past years, to the point of not wanting to live anymore. I'm now doing fine, and finally getting back to work on my projects and ideas. Keep believing in yourself, we all deserve to be happy.
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u/Significantly_Lost 20d ago
I think that comes with being red headed. I have super thick red hair but couldn't grow a full beard until last couple of years and I'm 38.
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u/RainbowDarter 20d ago
I'm 58 and still can't grow a beard. I can do a decent goatee, but I don't prefer them.
my 3 sons inherited their grandfather's whiskers and can all grow really good beards in their 20s. I am jealous.
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u/BailoutBill 20d ago
I can't imagine how bad the pandemic has been for the mental health of healthcare workers. Throw in some regular mental health stresses like midlife crisis just for fun, and yeah, not the best of times. But you can get through it. And no, you don't need that midlife crisis Corvette ;)
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u/santalucialands 20d ago
You’re a hottie! Love a guy with kind eyes, too.
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u/j308887 20d ago
Why, thank you! You’re very kind, I honestly don’t feel like I am because I rarely hear that from anyone.
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u/santalucialands 20d ago
I think people are weird about complimenting men, it’s easier to do online and on these types of subreddits I think. Glad they exist! Keep your head up ☀️
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u/onlyupliftingcomment 20d ago
happily married straight male here... I could swim in those baby blues all day!
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u/Sk1pp1e 20d ago
Most middle aged men come from a generation where we were not aloud to cry or “feel”, most men respectfully (myself included) don’t know how to handle a compliment.
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u/MushroomHut 20d ago
I wasn’t aloud to cry as a kid. I remember getting smacked around and being told to “Dry Up”. Early 40’s here and I’m just now close to crying. I start to feel like I’m going to have a good cry and then it shuts off as fast as it came on. I really need to have a good cry and I can’t.
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u/NuasAltar 20d ago
Oh no, men these days will complement the shit out of each other. It's the women that rarely complement men. So men either over estimate their good looks or have no idea how good they look.
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u/Red__M_M 20d ago
What struck me was the attention given to your facial hair. It looks great and is a statement about your attitude towards life.
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u/ivycoopwren 20d ago
you're totally a hotty. signed, totally straight dude.
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u/j308887 20d ago
Thanks man! It’s funny cause I have always been asked if I was gay (even by my wife) so I obviously have more of an emotional side to me than the average guy. But nope; I don’t swing that way 😂
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u/lulububudu 20d ago
It was the beard for me lol seriously though, you are a cutie.
Honestly, we’re all under a lot of stress and I think it’s normal and human to question where we’re at. I quit my job and I’m going back to school. The weight lifted off my shoulders was astounding. I felt lighter, younger, happier. I didn’t realize how much I hated my life. It made me realize that we have to really question who and what we let in our life.
A therapist I had once asked me who was that internal voice in my head. I can be very negative and self critical about myself, for me, it’s my mom’s voice. I think it’s important to distinguish that voice and realize when it’s spewing bs at us. I wish you well and hope that you find all the happiness in the world. Remember, you’re not alone.
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u/j308887 20d ago
Thank you! The beard does get a lot of compliments as it’s fairly new for me and RED! People love a red beard for whatever reason.
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u/lulububudu 20d ago
Yes we do! lol
I’d like to add; be kind to yourself. A lot of men aren’t kind to themselves and put themselves on a certain standard that’s impossible to meet as a human. ❤️
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u/Character_Quail5154 20d ago
Takes a lot of courage and strength to be so open about something like this. Hats off to you sir. Well done. Stay strong.
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u/Playful_Doctor_4671 20d ago
Dude 🕊You. Are. Enough. Always have been, and always will be. Have an Amazing day and keep the positive feedback loop going! Sending out more positive vibes for you... free from danger, happy, healthy, and whole ⭐
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u/aigisss 20d ago
Sending you some virtual hugs. Take it one step at a time. Stay safe.
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u/Throat_Still 20d ago
You're an inspiration! Especially to a fellow red head trying to find his way!
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u/ivycoopwren 20d ago
How j308887 got his mojo back.
Congrats man, that's SO exciting. I had some similar happen myself. I finally poked my head out of the pandemic / middle-aged / whatever fog and saw some sunlight for the first time. It was amazing and still riding that feel-good wave.
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u/augustwilder 20d ago
I’m getting some second hand peace from looking at this photo!! Thanks for sharing!
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u/bgreene61147 20d ago
I'm glad your in a better place. You look terrific. Great smile. Give me some suggestions on how I can get where you are I would greatly appreciate it. You look so happy.
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u/ooooopium 20d ago
Yo, I am super proud of you for breaking through the mental burden. Also... self esteem issues and mid life crisis? I'm sorry man, those are rough, but you aren't alone so don't fret. Not only are you not alone, but it happens to the absolute best of us.
In case you forget how awesome you are and wander back down that path again... Let me remind you of the awesome stuff you've got going on: You support not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 awesome animals that love you. You're funny enough to make great dad jokes but also medical jokes. You can adeptly defend your home with a throwing axe. You have a great work/life balance that you get to enjoy a personal passion of playing video games, and might I say seemingly quite adeptly. And to finish strong, you're in the medical field, which means you are as much of a hero as the characters in your favorite games.
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u/Simply92Me 20d ago
Your beard looks really nice and I love the color.
Also glad to hear that you're doing better, keep it up!
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u/peteylim 20d ago
Hi, It's Peter from Love What Matters! It's great to see you are doing well! I would like to feature your story on our platform. I sent you a DM with more info. Hope to hear from you soon!
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u/Aggressive-Green4592 20d ago
Just know your doing amazing each day by getting out of bed! Each day is a new day and nothing lasts forever.
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u/daisyrainstorm 20d ago
You look great!! Life is too short to believe you’re anything less than deserving of everything good.
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u/FindMyAxis 20d ago
I can see that spark in your eyes, it's there! And you are a good looking man, so that doesn't hurt, either!
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u/Cystinyomidst 20d ago
Godspeed brother! Good to see a fellow healthcare worker on the up and up! You made my morning
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u/hagathacrusty 20d ago
Showing vulnerability takes a lot of strength- thanks for sharing your story. I can relate to self esteem and mid- life crisis stuff. Hang in there dude, you definitely are not alone. Lastly, you are a hottie-the ginger beard is chefs kiss. I would fix you up with any of my single friends without hesitation.
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u/Direct_Comfortable69 20d ago
You are handsome as hell! Keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other!
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u/SOAPY-SALAD 20d ago
You seem like a sincere human being! Take these good feelings and spread the joy brother !
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u/Sunbeam87 20d ago
Yes! You can do it. My wish for you, internet stranger, is that the good days increase until they outnumber and eventually eliminate the bad days.
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u/youtookmyusername3 20d ago
Sometimes the willpower to meet your daily responsibilities takes a lot of fortitude. But these are the things that make us strong, showing up, being there, and meeting your challenges. You're right to feel proud.
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u/gamingat12fps600ping 20d ago
me too, I've been working more on myself and it feels great. lost 16 lbs and gained a lot of confidence.
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u/magesticcowfairy92 20d ago
You are strong! You got this. 💪 You are handsome, and your feelings are valid. You are doing your best! :)
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u/fckoffmf 20d ago
Very proud of you matee. All the bestttttt for ur much awaited bright future. We all love u
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u/WPCarey85 20d ago
It’s so funny how from the outside looking in, you always assume others are so confident and have the perfect life and that inside you are thinking you are the only one with problems… yet those people are probably thinking the same about you.
Everyone has their stuff and it’s so much better that people can talk about it these days without the old stigmas attached. Happy for you!!!
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u/tallerThanYouAre 20d ago
I am here to report that there IS light on the other side of midlife crisis. You simplify, you find new people, and one day you realize that the life you intentionally reconstructed with adult hands is much better than the life you originally had haphazardly grabbed with young ones. It’s gonna be fun!
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u/MOcatmom 20d ago
I’m going through very similar issues. One thing that helps me is remembering you got this life because you’re strong enough to handle it! Go out there and kick ass!!
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u/meatwads_feet 20d ago
When you said "felt good about myself this morning" I so thought you were going to follow it up with felt cute, might delete this later.
Also, hey man I'm glad you're feeling good dude!
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u/Overall_Phrase_3237 20d ago
You look amazing and your eyes are so kind. Glad you’re having a good day!
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u/HeftySchedule8631 20d ago
Good job..hope you find your way..I’ll be 53 next month and am embracing life to the fullest..after a bout with cancer a few years ago. Made me rethink my life..I do no harm to myself, others or my environment..and getting through it made me grateful for the simplest of things..like the fingers to type this response..cause I saw men lose control of everything and many die.
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u/infinitesimal_entity 20d ago
You should head to the left direction. It looks like there's a wall to your right. Unless your phone flipped the image, in which case, carry on.
And wash your hands
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u/mrjoelforce 20d ago
Look at you to handsome son of a bitch! Glad your feeling good! Take that energy and go make someone feel good about themselves.
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u/PolkaOn45 20d ago
I FEEL you with the midlife crisis. It’s been 3 years now, been through stages, still have jack shit that I’m looking forward to, except years and years of work and maybe a decent tv show or 2 along the way
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u/suddenlycumbly 20d ago
You got this homie, sending you a virtual hug and double high fives. You handsome fella, have a wonderful day!
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u/jammyjoints93 20d ago
Yo, you look really friendly, I can tell by your crows feet that you smile a lot, and that smile sure suits you, and you have such beautiful eyes! You look well groomed and those grey hairs coming in-chefs kiss- 👌🏼 and the outfit would make so many women’s hearts melt 🥰 chin up young man, you have got this 💪🏻
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u/Tobin1776 20d ago
You look really good OP. We all deal with shit. Everyone has their issues. Just keep plugging along!
I’m so happy you’re having a good day!
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u/MarcReymon 20d ago
Not gonna lie - with those eyes, if you told me everything would be okay, I would believe you.
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u/lil_name 20d ago
Fuck yeah! Keep it up bro! You’re an all star! Remember, the smallest daily improvement compound to huge differences. Keep doing what your doing, you’re killing it!
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u/BooksCatsnStuff 20d ago
Rooting for you! Also, based on your uniform you seem to be working on the medical field. So thank you so much for what you are doing. Can't imagine how difficult the last year and a half has been. You're an awesome human being.
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u/stupidrichjew 20d ago
LOOK AT THE HAPPY GRIN ON YOUR FACE I KNOW I CAN SEE SOME TEETH NEXT TIME😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬
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u/Igliothion 20d ago
Not sure if this is something that will make you smile even more, but you look like the dutch king. Do with that as you will 😂
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u/Neru-nae 20d ago
You're some sexy man. I hope your days will get even more better! You can do anything - even if you need a little bit more time.
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u/No_War_8097 20d ago
Very attractive! I hope you have many great days ahead. Please sit down wife your wife and figure out what is best for you guys and the children. My mom finally decided to leave my dad, all my 26 years of life their marriage has been miserable. The house has such a more peaceful environment now. I actually feel at home and welcomed in my house now that she has moved out. Our relationship has improved too. Sometimes staying together for the kids isn't as helpful as we think.
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u/UltiXF92 20d ago
Thanks for working on the medical field! We need it right now! Give the Order of Man podcast a listen. Tailored exactly for guys in your position who want to be more effective and happier in their lives. He talked a lot about taking care of yourself first by establishing hobbies, friendship relationships with other men, and good communication within your family which I hope will help you.
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u/badandbergy 20d ago
Thought this was posted on r/RoastMe and almost went in… Good thing I didn’t lol
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u/EllusiveIllusion 20d ago
As an RN living in this current day and age, I can definitely relate and send love and positive vibes your way! You look pretty damn stunning so I wouldn't worry about any midlife crisis stuff for a while :)
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u/girlofNJ 20d ago
I'm divorced. We co parent so well that people think we still together! We do things as a family, and go our separate ways. Our son knows that we still love each other and most of all him, but we can't be together because everyone will be miserable .
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u/TootsNYC 20d ago
“Felt cute, might delete later, idk”
You do look cute! I think you deserve to feel good about yourself, and I think it’s showing a little. I hope your day goes well.
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u/Hollywally37 20d ago
Keep going, you look great! Happy to hear you’re feeling like you’re on a good path!
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u/otdrgrl 20d ago
Coming from a child of divorce; your kids need to see you happy and healthy even if it’s not with thier mom. I spent my whole childhood trying to make my mother feel better about herself. Because of that I started questioning myself. I spent about 20 years thinking I wasn’t good enough because of her way of life in our household. Now I truly fight for myself. I’ve picked up the ideology of “ i’m not the TYPE of person that thinks badly of myself and I will fight to keep myself conscious of who I truly am”. It changed my life. I have made a habitual practice of liking myself. I think the most important part of that is doing things that make me proud of myself. And that is how I raised my kids and they are incredible.
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u/nanonymous1y 20d ago edited 20d ago
millennials: no one told us our midlife crisis was the middle 30 years 🥴
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u/Znox 20d ago
47, and still going through this very thing. Not the feeling good about myself, just the midlife junk. Not really knowing who I am or how to go forward. Thinking about the fact that there are less steps in front of me, than behind me. So no I feel like I should make each one count. So no to figure out which way to step in lol. Oh what what shoes to wear, will it be raining OOooo will we cross a river? I still want a girlfriend, my wife thinks it's a great idea lol.
Grats on feeling so good man, I hope that feeling never goes away!
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u/WastedKnowledge 20d ago
Honestly if I saw you IRL OP I’d think you had it all together. I appreciate this level of vulnerability. It helps more than you know.
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u/catnamedpru 20d ago
I lost my son 7 years ago and have been struggling ever since. Cost me numerous jobs and a marriage. But things get better. I'm in a strong healthy relationship, a new career that is totally opposite of my former career, and got a fresh start. Things always get better! Keep it up! You matter!