r/MadeMeSmile Happy Hours Jul 30 '22 Wholesome 9 Silver 2 Helpful 4

“Hand him to us !!” Very Reddit

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97.5k Upvotes

4.3k

u/seasoned-veteran Jul 30 '22 Wholesome

Show them the cat

BUT

Do not give them the cat

1.2k

u/SnowyFruityNord Jul 31 '22

My wife made that mistake once. She ended up standing in the backyard for a half an hour watching the neighbor kids pass our indoor cat back and forth. The kids and the cat had a great time. My wife not so much

222

u/DangerZoneh Jul 31 '22

Why wouldn’t she have a great time that sounds like a blast as long as you make sure the cat is enjoying it

456

u/Niawka Jul 31 '22

Watching strange kids playing with your cat sounds like a blast? You and I have definitely a different definition of fun.

152

u/Xenjael Jul 31 '22

To be honest, any time I see my cat outside safe and having fun I feel like I'm doing my small part and am happy.

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u/yearningforlearning7 Jul 31 '22

My cats like attention so as long as the strange kids don’t seem inherently violent or interested in wrongdoing then shit the little guy should socialize

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533

u/Panda6036 Jul 30 '22

Or give them the cat without showing (it scammed them by giving them a dog)

94

u/TheMostItalianWaffle Jul 31 '22

It ?

60

u/Panda6036 Jul 31 '22

The action

49

u/mattchewy43 Jul 31 '22

Thought you meant the clown. Thanks for clarifying.

13

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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11

u/furygoat Jul 31 '22

It puts the lotion in the basket

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32

u/Comfort_Lettuce Jul 31 '22

See with your eyes, not with your hands.

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8.8k

u/wanderfill Jul 30 '22 Helpful

It's a fiver each to see the Fat Boi. $ 🐈

7.3k

u/CreamyKnougat Jul 30 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome Take My Money Facepalm Original

<discussion grumble grumble someone takes some money out>

"Each."

<duscussion grumble grumble>

"He better be really fat, lady."

2.2k

u/LordMarkuaad Jul 30 '22

I want this recreated visually omg

731

u/Warrior_of_Peace Jul 30 '22

Check out the beginning of the movie My Girl. It’s not exact, but similar.

359

u/Dave6187 Jul 30 '22

Ends much sadder though

350

u/No_Refrigerator4584 Jul 31 '22 Silver

We can beat that. Take the money and then release the bees.

86

u/RipredTheGnawer Jul 31 '22

Bring out the olives!

104

u/MoroccoGMok Jul 31 '22 Wholesome

Smithers! Release the bees!!!

44

u/blasphembot Jul 31 '22

"Smithers! Have the Rolling Stones killed!! "But, sir thi...." "DO AS I SAY!"

25

u/judgehood Jul 31 '22

Or the dogs who when they bark they shoot bees at you.

27

u/OU7C4ST Jul 31 '22

Calm down Satan.

6

u/_Known-Reputation_ Jul 31 '22

NOT THE BEES! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

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29

u/mrmusclefoot Jul 31 '22

Damn just tell them to shut it off after five minutes I can’t take this memory.

26

u/Dave6187 Jul 31 '22

I had only ever remembered the good parts from being little when I first watched it. I watched sit again in college and there was definitely a WTF moment

62

u/Dadpool719 Jul 31 '22

When I was 7 or 8 and fresh off of "Home Alone", Macauley Culkin was my hero. The trailer for "My Girl" came out and I HAD to see it! I begged my parents for what must have been weeks, always to no avail, followed by my insistent "Why not?!?"

Eventually my poor mother had bad enough. During a particularly lengthy nagging session, she looked me in the eyes and said, "Because Macauley Culkin DIES!"

12

u/Fae_for_a_Day Jul 31 '22

I am still traumatized. 😭

10

u/dwehlen Jul 31 '22

I read Bridge to Tarabithia when I was 9, I know your painnnn. . .

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19

u/mrmusclefoot Jul 31 '22

It starts out so sweet and then…nothing but trauma.

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19

u/changetocomeyear3mil Jul 31 '22

haha yes the “dead body” lmaoo. didn’t she just show them her living grandma in that scene? i watched it forever ago

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97

u/disbitchdough Jul 31 '22

Why am I picturing them as the little Rascals and Spanky is the leader? I'm ded

112

u/sc_an_mi Jul 31 '22

Dude, I had a little rascals squad when I was 9 or 10, Juan was the leader cause he had the best backyard, then it was myself, Kyle, Stormy, Isaiah, Terrance, Julian, and sometimes Olivia and Rosemond if their dad's let them hang out. When we were all together we were a multicultural threat to the world. I know nobody asked but man do I miss that sometimes.

14

u/dwehlen Jul 31 '22

That's awesome, folk!

6

u/Alaskakricket Jul 31 '22

I’m picturing you little squad and now I need a book of all the shenanigans y’all got into! Just sayin if you write I’ll read it

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28

u/huhnick Jul 31 '22

Because that’s the vibe. Or the scene in Billy Madison where all the kids show up at the principals house

67

u/kissmaryjane Jul 31 '22

“ young grubby boys gathered around a front porch, searching pockets for coins , a fat cat lingers in the window”

10

u/kissmaryjane Jul 31 '22

Fuck I just used my last dalle 2 prompt.

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18

u/dansedemorte Jul 31 '22

Im seeing the little rascals doing this. Though it might be more spanky charging .50$ to see the cat.

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48

u/jed_steele Jul 30 '22

This seems like a bit from the Simpsons 😂

32

u/L82DINNNER Jul 31 '22

"You can see, but you can't touch. That would be $10 more."

24

u/samf9999 Jul 31 '22

Private rooms are $20 apiece.

17

u/whisky_biscuit Jul 31 '22

And no heavy petting.

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28

u/MansonVixen Jul 31 '22

I am choking on the bus trying not to laugh at this

30

u/pangolinzero Jul 31 '22

I told you to stop putting that bus in your mouth!

5

u/MansonVixen Jul 31 '22

You're not my real mom!

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18

u/BIG_SeanS Jul 31 '22

I’m picturing the kids from sand lot saying this

77

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '22

“Or what? Get off my property, you just paid for a lesson”

42

u/FloatAwayTheDay Jul 30 '22

Paid to get your place egged later with that attitude

35

u/Live_Background_6239 Jul 31 '22

Can’t buy eggs to throw if you ain’t got no money taps side of head

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u/Shoot2Live629 Jul 31 '22

The best 2 comments I’ve ever seen

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40

u/Liu1845 Jul 31 '22

Yep, charge admission. Extra for a pic with the celebrity.

23

u/butidontthink Jul 31 '22

"Somebody's gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes!"

57

u/thetriamphantreturn Jul 31 '22

Don’t pimp your cat out

37

u/Love_God551 Jul 31 '22

No this is the PURGE

RUN

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649

u/Affectionate_Ad_25 Jul 30 '22

Pictures of the fat cat or it never happened.

43

u/Andy1o1 Jul 31 '22

Show us the CAT..

76

u/Ok-Club-3715 Jul 31 '22 Helpful

Here is article about this 6 year old tweet and a picture of the cat in question:

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/blakemontgomery/7-boys-cats-twitter

5

u/RayBone36 Jul 31 '22

Oh my cat is Way fatter, guess it’s time to open a new business

49

u/heavenlysoulraj Jul 31 '22

This should be up. OP thought he could get away without paying cat tax. Or cat+kids playing tax.

11

u/edwardaten Jul 31 '22

Yeah. We got 60k ppl.

7

u/Ok-Club-3715 Jul 31 '22 Take My Energy

Here is article about this 6 year old tweet and a picture of the cat in question:

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/blakemontgomery/7-boys-cats-twitter

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1.9k

u/EndlesslyUnfinished Jul 30 '22

My neighborhood gaggle of kids knock and ask if my Husky can play

1.0k

u/Arakiven Jul 31 '22 edited Jul 31 '22

That is both adorable and perfect for a Husky. Get that energy out of it

644

u/ManOfEating Jul 31 '22

Yeah honestly if someone did that with my boxer my first thought would he "excellent, now I only have to take him to the park once today instead of twice"

139

u/EndlesslyUnfinished Jul 31 '22

Basically my thinking. Lol.

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194

u/Ok-Influence6062 Jul 31 '22

Same for the parents too probably lol "He's really quiet and out of it tonight, said he ran 4 miles with a wolf today. He showed me pictures of the neighbors Husky."

169

u/Ghaster_Beware Jul 31 '22

Lmao good luck to them, whenever I visit my moms, her husky goes straight to me when she sees me and somehow always hits me in the balls, huskies have the energy of a thousand suns

49

u/EndlesslyUnfinished Jul 31 '22

More energy than. Mines 14yrs and still acts like a crazy puppy

23

u/IMissCheeseburgers Jul 31 '22

One of the vets I work with has 7 or 8 14 year old huskies and I don't know how she survives lol

7

u/30FourThirty4 Jul 31 '22

I've heard if you have a husky then have another so they wear themselves out. Seven or eight? Wow. Feeding them can't be cheap.

9

u/dccercc123 Jul 31 '22

So happy mine calmed down at 7

27

u/EndlesslyUnfinished Jul 31 '22

You got lucky. I got a cat that she brought home and now she has an evil sidekick

27

u/drogods Jul 31 '22

You’re husky went out and recruited a cat as a henchman. That is hilarious 😆

33

u/EndlesslyUnfinished Jul 31 '22

She literally found this tiny black kitten somewhere in the yard, picked him up, brought him inside, and was “can I keep him?” And that’s how I got Barton, the Sweetest Asshole.

15

u/drogods Jul 31 '22

That is precious. Also, I’m sorry 😂

18

u/EndlesslyUnfinished Jul 31 '22

I got the tropical husky that adopts small animals

18

u/EndlesslyUnfinished Jul 31 '22

She needed someone who could access the top of the fridge.

107

u/Lisyre Jul 31 '22

Lol that was me when I was a kid. My family didn’t own a dog, but I really wanted one. Meanwhile, one of our neighbors owned a husky mix and a german shepherd. I used to knock on their door and they’d let the dogs outside to play with me. Now that I own a dog, I realize how much of a blessing I must’ve been to them!

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u/snicklefritz843 Jul 31 '22

Same with my blue heeler. I live around older people mostly, but everytime the grand kids come over, they are always playing with him. He pretty much holds our street down and watches over the kids and smaller animals. He also follows my neighbor around while she gardens which is funny cause when she pulls something he starts pulling stuff up too.

13

u/Broken_Petite Jul 31 '22

Oh my goodness this is adorable!

14

u/snicklefritz843 Jul 31 '22 edited Jul 31 '22

It's funny he will run around and play for a while, Then just lay in the yard and keep an eye out. I just recently adopted a kitten that was probably no older than 3-4 weeks when I got her. He actually surprised me how he went into a mom mode. I always knew he knew to be gentle, but he was extra with the kitten and even groomed and licked her butt. Now the kitten is maybe 2 months old and they play all the time.

I live in a pretty rural type neighborhood so there's chickens etc running around.

34

u/187penguin Jul 31 '22

My sister has between 1 and 3 of the rando neighbor kids come ask to take her golden Retriever for a walk at least 5 times a week.

161

u/lacielaplante Jul 31 '22

neighbors who had a package mix-up came to my door and asked to see my cat once. I laughed, but I guess he came the window last time when I wasn't home and they wanted to meet a sphynx.

105

u/Sa_notaman_tha Jul 31 '22

to be fair if I saw one not in a video but in real life I'd want to find out once and for all what those weird hairless cuties are like to pet

59

u/lacielaplante Jul 31 '22

They feel like suede! Warm suede.

39

u/NeverEverNevermind Jul 31 '22

That’s it. I’m coming over to pet your cat

44

u/lacielaplante Jul 31 '22

39

u/NeverEverNevermind Jul 31 '22

He/she looks like one of those whole chickens that comes out of a can, and I can’t even tell you how much I love him/her. The blue eyes are stunning!

34

u/lacielaplante Jul 31 '22

His name is Nigel and he is the best lil chicken I could ask for.

11

u/NeverEverNevermind Jul 31 '22

Aww, Nigel! I know a human named Nigel who is also good, but not as cute

9

u/turndownforjesus Jul 31 '22

Nigel’s trying his best, come on

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u/hipsterunderpants Jul 31 '22

Like warm, raw, velveteen chicken.

71

u/TigerLily98226 Jul 31 '22

This is both poetic and revolting, in equal measures. Well done.

14

u/BeepBeepWhistle Jul 31 '22

So.. like a hairless cat..?

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u/Robertbnyc Jul 31 '22

Have you ever caressed human balls? That's what it feels like balls.

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u/Sa_notaman_tha Jul 31 '22

wow, way to do your best to sour the idea

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u/ImmaRaptor Jul 31 '22

like a ballsack that purrs

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u/TheTarasenkshow Jul 31 '22

Kids on my grandparents street would do this for their golden retriever lol

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u/MissyMAK08 Jul 31 '22 edited Jul 31 '22

our gaggle stalked our house when my daughter got a white swiss shepherd puppy. We had to ignore the doorbell half the time and called them the “puparazzi”. We allowed them plenty of time to see and play with Finn then one day the leader said “He’s soooo cute. I feel like I might steal Finn”

12

u/narcissuspapyraceus Jul 31 '22

Those cankles, I'm in love

12

u/stilllikelypooping Jul 31 '22

Photo checks out. Finn is, in fact, "soooo cute"

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u/thebioniclady Jul 31 '22

I have a 200lb English mastiff that hangs out in my fenced in back yard all the time. There’s always packs of kids that get off the bus outside of our house and hang out with my mastiff for a bit before heading home. It’s honestly the cutest.

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u/[deleted] Jul 31 '22

Doggo tax?

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u/Robertbnyc Jul 31 '22

Don't leave us hanging! Do you let them play!?

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u/EndlesslyUnfinished Jul 31 '22

Of course! That’s a free babysitting service that burns her out for the day! I’m not going to say no to that! Lol

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1.1k

u/Sminkabear Jul 30 '22

Master Sultan Pussyfoot is not agreeable to guests at the moment….

243

u/shahooster Jul 30 '22

He did request, however, that I offer the gentlemen a Wet William.

28

u/DisgruntledYoda Jul 31 '22

Wet William lmfaoo

53

u/BitcherOfBlaviken33 Jul 30 '22

I dunno why but this made me chuckle out loud

16

u/stabavarius Jul 30 '22

The stinky Willy is called for on this occasion.

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u/Lostdogdabley Jul 30 '22

“Tell him Ricky and the boys are outside”

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u/needyprototype58 Jul 31 '22

“Hand him to us !!”

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1.1k

u/tgalen Jul 30 '22 Wholesome

581

u/9J000 Jul 31 '22

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u/tgalen Jul 31 '22

These time up perfectly with eachother

104

u/Santi838 Jul 31 '22

If it’s not timed up for anyone on mobile close the parent comment and then open again

22

u/NeverEverNevermind Jul 31 '22

You’re a god damn genius

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u/RNReef Jul 31 '22

😂😂😂

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193

u/T-408 Jul 30 '22

As a kid, I had a friend who I used to play outside with a lot. One day, he and I got into a psychical fight. He swore up and down he was going to tell his parents that I hurt him… unless I let him pet my cat.

Trouble was, she was an outdoor car. So I had to find her 😂

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u/the_jowo Jul 31 '22

What's your indoor car look like? /s

23

u/T-408 Jul 31 '22

She was very beautiful! A calico cat named Cleo :) I miss her!

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u/red_tuna Jul 31 '22

The small addition of “they had a leader.” makes this so much funnier and I can’t explain why.

212

u/Imraith-Nimphais Jul 31 '22

Agree. Also helped me picture them. (It’s the Stand By Me gang.)

41

u/imatrainchoo Jul 31 '22

THATS exactly what I imagined right before I read this comment :0

15

u/ArchStanton75 Jul 31 '22

Too old. More the Sandlot gang.

7

u/281-330-80-04 Jul 31 '22

Benny the Jet would never.

10

u/RayA11 Jul 31 '22

I was picturing the Little Rascals.

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u/ArizonaStReject Jul 31 '22

The one willing to knock.

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u/ClicksAndASmell Jul 31 '22

Yeah, but can you imagine meeting your boyfriend's seven (7) young boy friends and finding out he's not the leader?

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u/Midnight_Philosopher Jul 31 '22

Speaking as a former 7 year old boy, we almost always did.

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u/Hot-Dentist-5744 Jul 31 '22

That one sucker who broke me out of being a introvert

23

u/vanillaacid Jul 31 '22

It’s not so much a “leader”, as the one who isn’t afraid to speak up first.

5

u/o11c Jul 31 '22

Realistically, it's usually the one who was born first.

6

u/ClicksAndASmell Jul 31 '22

In my experience, that one didn't always call the shots. Sometimes, like in a pack of stray dogs, they were just the smallest and weakest, so they got sent to do the talking.

4

u/Zotoaster Jul 31 '22

I too was once seven (7)

3

u/foobar1232 Jul 31 '22

Makes me imagine Sandlot.

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u/Konkuriito Jul 30 '22

Ask if they are fans of his, and tell them his schedule is very busy because he's famous, but he might let them see him in person if they tell him he is pretty.

112

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '22

Punch the leader in the face. Become the leader of the other 6.

Rufio. Rufio. Rufio.

23

u/Joeyjackhammer Jul 31 '22

Bangarang

14

u/Richard_AIGuy Jul 31 '22

There you are Peter.

Fuck, now I'm sad.

6

u/Zotoaster Jul 31 '22

I'll tell you what a paramecium is; that's a paramecium. It's a one-celled critter with no brain that can't. fly. Don't mess with me man, I'm a lawyer!

99

u/Right_Engineering368 Jul 30 '22

I hope your home isn’t constructed in front of a cliff, if so watch for the boulder

53

u/Bork60 Jul 31 '22

He is fat because he eats little boys...

151

u/Ed98208 Jul 31 '22 Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote

Here is article about this 6 year old tweet and a picture of the cat in question:

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/blakemontgomery/7-boys-cats-twitter

44

u/bhongryp Jul 31 '22

The hero we need!

29

u/BluSicario Jul 31 '22

So the boys never did get to see the cat. Dang, I know this is 6 years old, but I'm feeling pretty sad for them.

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u/Imhopeless3264 Jul 30 '22

Kids in my neighborhood come over to see our dogs.

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u/Rough-Month7054 Jul 31 '22

My boys used to go down the street to play with the Golden Retriever and jump on our neighbor’s trampoline. They loved it since their kids were grown.

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u/mcs_987654321 Jul 31 '22 edited Jul 31 '22

My father used to straight up steal the neighbours’ dog.

Super formal guy, the type to wear a blazer on weekends…yet sometimes I’d find him in his study just chilling with Bo (the most charming and beloved English Sheepdog that ever was).

We got along great with Bo’s actual family, the parents would regularly go to each other’s dinner parties, etc…but yup, my father would just occasionally take their dog. (Miss you Bo, you were the best boy ever).

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u/Malnurtured_Snay Jul 31 '22

My cat’s name is Bo, which has nothing to do with your story. He’s a very fat cat, which also has nothing to do with either your story or this thread, but I’m in a sharing mood?

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u/TigerLily98226 Jul 31 '22

I hope one of his nicknames is BoBo Fat.

11

u/Psychedeltrees Jul 31 '22

I hope it's Bobafette

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u/Moretti123 Jul 31 '22

As a kid I would go to my neighbors house all the time to pet their dog, say thank you, and then leave. Didn’t even know their names but I knew the dog’s name.

13

u/Penya23 Jul 31 '22

In all fairness, I'm an adult and know the name of every single dog in the vicinity, yet i don't know the name of any of my neighbours....

33

u/Erotic_FriendFiction Jul 30 '22

I like to think these kids are in a baby cult and the fat cat is their deity.

167

u/SunnyGirl_TF2 Jul 30 '22

Bring them the absolute unit

8

u/TitleScale Jul 31 '22

Wonder what the kids would do. Would they bask in absolute unit's glory?

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u/tooold4urcrap Jul 30 '22

First off, there's no pic of the chonker. How dare you. I don't think this should be allowed to exist on the internet. I demand a cat-tax, but I'll forever be unable to collect. We'll never know just how fat said cat was. We'll never know the delight all seven (7) kids experienced that day.

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u/UberDuperDrew Jul 31 '22

https://imgur.com/TkeU0YD.jpg not the same one but here's a nice chonker for you to look at.

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u/CoraxtheRavenLord Jul 31 '22

Paying someone else’s taxes? Is that… legal?

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u/Imraith-Nimphais Jul 31 '22

Yes! I second the cat tax, but downgrade from demand to polite request as I am not as assertive as you!

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u/brickeh Jul 31 '22

not my tweet but here’s a series of my large cat

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u/Doobie_the_Noobie Jul 31 '22

I really want to see if there is a subreddit for fat chonkers, but I'm too afraid to look that up.

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u/chouflour Jul 31 '22

C'mon, it's Reddit.

There's a sub for chonky cats. A sub for de-chonking your cat. A sub for hating on the enjoyment of chonky cats. Subs for other chonky animals. A sub for just small chonky animals. And probably a sub that claims to be about chonky cats but is it really a cover for teaching your cat to have an eating disorder.

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u/Shendare Jul 31 '22

Fortunately, there's literally an /r/Chonkers!

Complete with help for de-chonkifying your chonk if they go a bit overboard.

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u/BavellyBavelly Jul 31 '22

There is an even though they claim they don’t, the celebrate the obesity

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u/bendbutdonotbreak Jul 31 '22

There definitely is, but some of them just cause concern :(

5

u/DrawConfident1269 Jul 31 '22

All of them do.

6

u/thibbledorfpwent Jul 31 '22

Lost my beloved boy to diabetes, used to think chonkers were cute, now just makes me sad.

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u/Chance-Art2022 Jul 30 '22

Take us to your Eater

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u/SonicFan1524 Jul 30 '22

This is what boys will be boys should be about

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u/Dward917 Jul 31 '22

I’d tell them to try again more politely then shut the door in their face.

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u/JettiSun Jul 31 '22

Ewww, close the door on the lord of the flies.

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u/halfblindguy Jul 30 '22

Teach them manners, how to say please, and how to be proper young men. You don't demand for things, you ask respectfully.

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u/[deleted] Jul 31 '22

Only acceptable if it's a cat. We should all demand an audience with Fat Bazza.

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u/IntelligentDurian266 Jul 30 '22

Seven (7) (the number after 6) (like 1 less than 8)

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u/nbelle78 Jul 31 '22

I’m really happy he put that “(7)” for clarification, I was very confused when we wrote “seven”

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u/kingsam360 Jul 30 '22

Do u have a water hose nearby?

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u/herkalurk Jul 30 '22

Put that fat cat in the window.

6

u/Twitchy-gg Jul 30 '22

Tell them to do your lawn and then you will show them the cat

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u/jholla_albologne Jul 31 '22

Watch that leader. He’s either going to grow up to head a cult or collect skulls in his basement. Possibly both.

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u/OneFineSir Jul 30 '22

Make a cult based on the cat and get those kid parents money

6

u/Stergenman Jul 31 '22

Say no, close Door.

They are kids, not a biker gang, and your an adult.

4

u/HairyHooHar Jul 31 '22

" oh what a shame you missed him, he was the perfect size for eating so I baked him in a pie last night. I think there might be a slice left in the fridge.... would you like to try some... boys.... boys... come back."

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u/OnlyOfficers Jul 30 '22

You have two options here:

A. Eliminate the threat. Young boys spook easily. A katana should do the trick (but they'll be back, and in greater numbers).

B. Show them the fucking cat, for chrissakes!

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u/shophopper Jul 30 '22

Thanks for adding the (7) in the text. It really helps clarify the word seven.

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