r/Showerthoughts 7d ago

If ejaculating regularly can prevent prostate cancer, who knows how many millions of lives have been saved due to access to the internet

[removed]

26k Upvotes

4k

u/An1retak 7d ago

If I’m ever caught in the act, I’ll be saying I’m in the middle of my prostate cancer prevention routine.

1k

u/paolocase 7d ago

If I'm ever caught at work

550

u/nachoman420 7d ago

Or on the bus

368

u/Tru-Queer 7d ago

At the sauna

452

u/SirEarlBigtitsXXVII 7d ago

[ Removed by Reddit ]

583

u/icy_skies 7d ago

FBI? This man right here

364

u/majorbummer6 7d ago

No its cool. Thats just tony and his prostate cancer awareness campaign.

Smile if you love mens prostates!

127

u/Total-Khaos 6d ago

Hmm, there is something fishy about this comment, but I just can't put my finger on it.

108

u/46554B4E4348414453 6d ago

Or in it

73

u/Total-Khaos 6d ago

TIL: You can put your finger inside a prostate.

EDIT: Dear r/TIFU, I learned you cannot put your finger inside your prostate and my ruptured prostate pictures will prove it!!

→ More replies

32

u/CinSugarBearShakers 6d ago

Me next! Can I get a lick too?

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

39

u/Pinkeye_The_Disease 7d ago

The existence a children's playground leads to the existence of an adults playground sooo what would that look like

22

u/YaztromoX 6d ago

Children have petting zoos. Adults have heavy petting zoos.

11

u/Legendary_Bibo 6d ago

Please stay away from the goats.

→ More replies
→ More replies

22

u/TRauck 6d ago

I wander how many people that say stuff like this aren't joking. Like that serial killer who was leaving Amazon reviews for things like padlocks and explaining how well they helped him murder people.

12

u/grandboyman 6d ago

Link?

9

u/elementnix 6d ago

Just look up amazon review murders

6

u/TRauck 6d ago

You could find it as easy as me. He locked up people in shipping containers and they managed to save one or two people. He also shot up (I believe) a small restaurant.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

6

u/DrGhostly 7d ago

Wait go back

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

56

u/jizzb0ii 7d ago

In the middle of a meeting while sitting next to the hot coworker

62

u/paolocase 7d ago

COVID has been terrible but it made me move from front line work to working from home and it's been great for my prostate.

→ More replies

18

u/Porky_Pen15 7d ago

“Don’t look at me this is my fidget.”

18

u/Soft_Trust_5656 7d ago

Or in church...

5

u/paolocase 7d ago

Todd McCarthy, 2015.

→ More replies

38

u/sanimalp 7d ago

I was just cleaning it and it went off..

7

u/Kingindanorff 6d ago

Mark Tom and Travis Show?

6

u/WDJam 6d ago

Hey, Mark! Hey- hey, hey Mark!

5

u/sanimalp 6d ago

Yes indeed..

→ More replies

20

u/Dawson81702 7d ago

Semotherapy.

23

u/Ass_Blossom 7d ago

"I'm in the middle of a healthy prostate exercise!"

→ More replies

1k

u/A-Dashing-Rogue 7d ago

How much is regularly?

1k

u/bendagoat84 7d ago

https://www.verywellhealth.com/reduced-risk-prostate-cancer-with-regular-ejaculation-2328515

This article says 21 or more times per month drops the chances by 19%

2k

u/Kod_Rick 7d ago

Really glad it's "or more."

1k

u/bendagoat84 7d ago

Same. When I saw 21 I thought “those are rookie numbers” 😂😂😂😂

195

u/Haymitch123454 6d ago

Rare moment where that line actually matches the situation in the movie.

19

u/souljaboyfavelado 6d ago

Rookie moments

→ More replies

204

u/PM_ME_FIREFLY_QUOTES 7d ago

Please, no one finish the quote. This guy already pumps it too much.

64

u/extralyfe 6d ago

I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby.

26

u/grizzburger 6d ago

One book, "Swedish-Made Penis Enlargers And You," written by Austin Powers

15

u/smallQuackAttack 6d ago edited 6d ago

(This sort of thing is my bag, baby.)

→ More replies
→ More replies

10

u/meltingdiamond 6d ago

"Per day, that seems a little high."

"Per month."

"Is there a war on and we are rationing or something?"

6

u/machingunwhhore 6d ago

Honesty thought I was going to say per week, still safe

58

u/FleshlightModel 6d ago

Once I started reading it and briefly thought 21 times a day and my heart sank, but only for a second.

21 times a month really isn't much but gotta lol at the nofap losers.

23

u/mmmegan6 6d ago

This comment made me almost gag on my uvula or something because I was in the middle of a yawn while scrolling and not expecting to laugh that hard, holy shit thank you I needed that

21

u/Seefah88 6d ago

I'm tired, it's 0700 in the morning, and I haven't been to sleep yet.

I thought you said you almost gagged on your vulva and my brain broke for a minute.

I'm going to bed.

6

u/mmmegan6 6d ago

I’m glad we could share these moments

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

17

u/duaneap 6d ago

I’m interpreting it as 21 bare minimum.

→ More replies
→ More replies

700

u/wrightetiedee 7d ago

I beat off 120 times a month. Not only do I have a 0% risk of prostate cancer but cancer now has a 20% risk of prostate

67

u/criticalpwnage 6d ago

This man is single handedly going to cure cancer

12

u/iWizardB 6d ago

Right handedly or left handedly?

→ More replies

129

u/BossHoggHazzard 7d ago

Noted side effect is the junk now has been whittled down to the size of a pencil

74

u/wrightetiedee 7d ago

I try to space it out. Usually once when I wake up at 6. Then around 9 when my daughter takes her first nap. Then usually about 3pm when I stop working and then once right before I go to bed. Sometimes I sneak a 3am one in there if I wake up early right after I toke some weed.

Which by the way yanking it after smoking is pretty wild in a good way

131

u/DoTheDew 7d ago

Jesus man, are you 16?

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

13

u/jawsin1 6d ago

Um 4 times a day?

9

u/varnecr 7d ago

We must bate to beat cancer.

4

u/Bryant_2_Shaq 6d ago

Do you do it to porn? If so that’s a lot of time spent watching porn.

6

u/wrightetiedee 6d ago

No most of the time it’s just in my head and generally about my wife. I still watch porn but it’s maybe once a day max for 20 min around the 3pm one. And usually only on weekdays

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

24

u/Litfrapps 7d ago edited 6d ago

I'm already set until 2027

→ More replies

186

u/JackZodiac2008 7d ago

Problem is, by the time you 're at risk, those numbers are challenging. I'm in my 40s and already like....geez, get a hobby....

71

u/88Challenger 6d ago

I don’t have the privacy to pull of those numbers with a wife and kids.

44

u/poodlebutt76 6d ago

I still masturbate once a day and I'm a new mom

Prioritize it.

91

u/ku20000 6d ago

I guarantee that you will not have prostate cancer

15

u/poodlebutt76 6d ago

Thanks masterbation!

→ More replies
→ More replies

4

u/JackZodiac2008 6d ago

Haha....I see what you did there! And so do they...

4

u/InsertNovelAnswer 6d ago

You don't have a bathroom? Or shower? Hah. Though to be fair I always worry about knocking until I got a decent master bath ... I'm at about 10 -15/wk. But upbefore kids and asleep after kids.

→ More replies

119

u/bendagoat84 7d ago

That is my hobby lol

41

u/bookingjames 7d ago

User name checks out

22

u/Ericchen1248 7d ago

Poor goat

15

u/bendagoat84 7d ago

Mine?

16

u/bookingjames 7d ago

Thats the one

5

u/Nude247Dave 6d ago

I need a new hobby lol.

→ More replies

19

u/Yellow_MM 6d ago

Man, I'm in my late 30s and I feel like I'm hungover the next day.

→ More replies

23

u/vizthex 7d ago

Damn, that's almost 1% per nut.

18

u/Grasshop 6d ago

I wonder if you get 1% protection every nut, or if on the 21st nut then bam! 19% reduced chance. Maybe it’s exponential? So many questions.

→ More replies

20

u/MarkHirsbrunner 6d ago

Fuck. I used to do it probably about 50 times a month, but my drive has dropped off so much in my 40s I hardly ever do it. I heard once every two weeks would reduce the odds significantly and so I try.

Part of why I don't like to anymore of is the cleanup. Used to be I wipe up, squeeze out the rest, take a leak, and it's all good. Now only a bit comes out and the rest seeps out over the next 30-60 minutes. Even showering immediately after doesn't help. So it's either hang out naked with a towel for an hour and then shower, or wake up with stiff patches in my drawers.

8

u/bendagoat84 6d ago

Maybe try doing some kegal exercises? I think that’s the muscle that would help you shoot harder so it’s all out.

3

u/MarkHirsbrunner 6d ago

I actually used to do kegels a lot, and I've strongly recommended them for intensifying orgasms and orgasm control. I haven't been lately though and I probably should start again.

→ More replies
→ More replies

31

u/rubenespanyol 7d ago

You sure it's not per day?

55

u/bendagoat84 7d ago

21+ per day?!?

77

u/NiceBeaver2018 7d ago

cardiac arrest intensifies

→ More replies

25

u/Ranknus 7d ago

I dunno if I should be impressed or disgusted..

27

u/sjames49 7d ago

Both

25

u/Wolfsburg 7d ago

Impregusted

15

u/serein 7d ago

Impregante?

10

u/Tchrspest 7d ago

can u get pregante?

→ More replies

17

u/ryfrlo 7d ago

You got any skin left on that thing??

8

u/AwesomePossum_1 7d ago

It feels better without

→ More replies

8

u/WoahThatsMyPecker 7d ago

You'd just be blowin ghost loads by the point

→ More replies

29

u/playblu 6d ago

21 or more times per month drops the chances by 19%

So to drop the chances by 100%, one would need 21*(100/19)=110.5263157895 times per month, or 1,326.315789474 times per year, so 3.6312547282 per day (every 6 hours 36 minutes 33.4 seconds). Seems doable.

→ More replies

14

u/Starbourne8 6d ago

I am almost 40 years old and I still go twice a day

→ More replies

7

u/zelenisod 6d ago

I'm probably at 0% then!

4

u/lRoninlcolumbo 6d ago

Do the chances drop more if I increase the amount of times I…

Who am I kidding, my prostate runs like a microchip manufacturer clean room I masturb so much.

4

u/kommentnoacc 6d ago

RIP us folks with Postorgasmic illness syndrome (POIS).

→ More replies

13

u/1000Airplanes 6d ago

per month? Don't they realize there are more than 21 days in every month. How about 365 times a year? I can do that.

→ More replies

24

u/aure__entuluva 6d ago

Still good, but I imagine 19% lower chance isn't much when you consider the odds of getting prostate cancer are already pretty low.

→ More replies

2

u/Schreindogg 6d ago

TIL I'm not as weird as I thought

25

u/[deleted] 6d ago edited 5d ago

[removed]

18

u/BookyNZ 6d ago

You can masturbate without porn...

22

u/Patchyug 6d ago

Beatin off like the pilgrims did

5

u/FLWeedman 6d ago

Thanksgiving

11

u/sinceubeenKHAAAN 6d ago

Wanksgiving

→ More replies
→ More replies

5

u/Alagator 6d ago

That was your death grip, had nothing to do with beating off.

11

u/bsievers 6d ago

It’s not necessary that its masturbation. Any ejaculation works and 21 times a month is not that often really.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

811

u/CoolvinKleen 7d ago

Trust me, prostate cancer prevention was happening long before the internet was a thing. If anything, it's simply dulled out imaginations.

333

u/Emanemanem 6d ago

I was going to say, as someone who came of age before the internet was ubiquitous…lack of internet is not preventing anyone from masturbating.

135

u/TheGameChallenger 6d ago

yeah I think the post means that it has made it easier, like you can open up a private tab, commence your prostate cancer prevention, then close it and no one will know. But before you had to jerk it with your imagination or play the extremely risky game of getting a porn mag.

33

u/VenomousCum 6d ago

Uncle’s mag was indeed… crusty

23

u/appositereboot 6d ago

username...checks out?

→ More replies

14

u/wordserious 6d ago

It made it easier to find porn, not to masturbate. Social norms, religion, overzealous parents, lack of privacy, all of these were problems, and still are problems. Trust me, nobody in history has ever had any trouble masturbating for lack of Internet.

→ More replies

7

u/-FuckThisAccount- 6d ago

The things I used to jack it to…

6

u/BottleImpressive8326 6d ago

Women in the Sears mag.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

162

u/TropicalDan427 7d ago

Is there actually any truth to this?

139

u/ThePhantomRaven 7d ago

I have never seen anyone get sources to something so quick and more than one

91

u/jruhlman09 7d ago

Dude's got that shit bookmarked.

119

u/ThePhantomRaven 7d ago

All men have searched up how good is masturbation to soothe their insecurity at least once in their lives. Anyone who says otherwise is lying

→ More replies

3

u/throne_deserter 6d ago

Masturbates to that!

22

u/damdam100 6d ago

I actually heard thatvthe original study, that claimed this was very flawed, and later other studies came that coppied the first one. Then some more accurate studies came and those said it had no effect on the chance of getting prostate cancer at all.

Edit: found the link https://www.europeanurology.com/article/S0302-2838%2816%2900377-8/fulltext

→ More replies

83

u/ultralightdude 7d ago

19

u/dylan-dofst 6d ago

I wonder how it feels to be the scientists that study this type of thing. Are they ever embarassed? Do they just treat everything clinically/with a straight face all the time? Do they talk to their parents about it? Etc.

30

u/Sciguystfm 6d ago

My partner works in medical research and I used to be a first responder. I promise you get over it realll quick, and then it just becomes part of the job

15

u/theunpaintedhuffines 6d ago

The jerking off part?

8

u/COCO_SHIN 6d ago

I’m a scientist now :>

→ More replies

9

u/fishfishfish1345 6d ago

why would it be embarrassing? you’re just doing your job, plus it’s science. You’re not out here watching people jerking off

→ More replies

5

u/wetballjones 6d ago

I'm not sure, last time I was looking this up I saw conflicting research. I know reddit loves citing sources but it's pretty common to have conflicting research with more complicated conclusions

→ More replies

122

u/myTA314 7d ago

They say dark chocolate (>70%) is good for the prostate, but I found the corners to be a bit sharp.

4

u/babyrobotman 6d ago

You didn't need to post this comment, you really didn't.

→ More replies
→ More replies

21

u/Pottymouthoftheyear 6d ago

My mom had mentioned this to me after reading a few health books; that masturbating regularly was a healthy thing.

Little did she know, ya boi was already a few books ahead.

160

u/Matt_guyver 7d ago

It makes sense that it does… use it or lose it, bro 🦾

→ More replies

265

u/kyokogodai 7d ago

Hmmm you know people jacked off before the internet, right? They just used their imaginations.

151

u/snowcappedmountain 6d ago

Or a Sears catalog

49

u/hollow1367 6d ago

Many a seed spilled to the ol' Sears catalogue

16

u/ZotMatrix 6d ago

Yes. Those Maytag top loading dryers! Va va VOOM!

→ More replies

9

u/Milkslinger 6d ago

"Why are the pages torn out from the underwear section?"

→ More replies

7

u/NorthernBeard 6d ago

Didn’t feel old today until I had to agree with this comment.

Damn it I miss the 90s.

→ More replies

28

u/ThePhantomRaven 7d ago

Well internet has made the number of jackers more by making people horny with all the hentæ and pø4n

46

u/anAverageWendigo 6d ago

Hentai and porn buddy

39

u/RedDiamond22 6d ago

Lmao, my man is too gentlemanly to utter such words

12

u/anAverageWendigo 6d ago

He's like Jonathan

11

u/zaphodsheads 6d ago

is that a...

5

u/aramatheis 6d ago

you thought this was a JoJo reference but it was me, DIO

→ More replies
→ More replies

47

u/Saladcitypig 7d ago

It's funny you think dudes needed the internet to fap.

→ More replies

123

u/MeatShield420 7d ago

Or how many people have been killed because masturbation was forbidden.

52

u/CornCheeseMafia 6d ago

From prostate cancer or from exploding?

18

u/extralyfe 6d ago

silly rabbit, everyone from /r/NoFap can tell you that you don't explode, you just gain literal superpowers.

12

u/Zekava 6d ago

It's true, I've gone 157 seconds without and I can see through walls!

→ More replies

14

u/PanicCainesy 7d ago

Back in my day we had to literally go to the Sears store!

12

u/ZotMatrix 6d ago

We? Like it was a field trip?

7

u/api10 6d ago

Yes. With tour guide and sandwiches and everything.

→ More replies

12

u/aidsfordays 6d ago

That feeling when you have your life in the palm of your hand…

116

u/radlaz 7d ago

yeah that's kind of bullshit, because it's only for guys over 50... most reddit users aren't over 50, so the fact they ejaculate 165 times a day isn't really doing anything...

"But there’s a catch: one studyTrusted Source suggests it’s only an effective preventative measure in men age 50 and older."

18

u/-SSN- 6d ago

Well, yeah. But isn't that because prostate cancer only really appears in people 50 or older?

I assume if you were at risk for reasons other than age masturbation would also be effective.

→ More replies

19

u/hilarbee 6d ago

Also because most men with prostate cancer do not die from it. 1 in 41 per the American cancer society. Not saying I want anyone to get it but since we are both refuting the OP just thought I’d add that.

→ More replies
→ More replies

11

u/Cavemattt 6d ago

Lets beat the shit outta cancer

→ More replies

30

u/alek_hiddel 7d ago

37m here. I legit try to jack it at least 3 times a week, in addition to whatever sexy times I have with the wife, specifically for this purpose.

Prostate cancer is no joke, and keeping the balls/prostate drained is a legitimate prevention method.

10

u/IsCabreuvas 6d ago

I also like having sex with your wife to prevent prostate cancer

3

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

22

u/-SSN- 6d ago

Unlike most of us he also has sex with his wife, so yes.

7

u/Krunklock 6d ago

Does that mean a few of us are also having sex with his wife?

→ More replies

9

u/Turin_Turambar_wolf 6d ago

I've just tallied up my weekly numbers and turns out I'm immortal.

32

u/DynoMiteDoodle 7d ago

I know I do my part, plenty of research going on over here!

22

u/FoxFourTwo 7d ago

Hey Google, define "regularly"

10

u/-SSN- 6d ago

21 times a month or more.

7

u/DollaBillMurray 6d ago

I wonder how many have been saved by access to your mom.

28

u/douggold11 7d ago

I may have cured prostate cancer.

5

u/a_name_04 7d ago

Consider me prostate protected

5

u/Runamucker31 6d ago

Also your mom

25

u/jizzb0ii 7d ago

Guess I should've named myself 'heathyprostateboi'

22

u/hi-its-nico 7d ago
  • how many lives have been ruined by porn ?
→ More replies

12

u/astro_funk 6d ago

Average coomer mindset

4

u/bluetinycar 6d ago

Every time I see any mention of "no fap" I think about prostate cancer.

4

u/Dudian613 6d ago

How many hardcore Christians will die an early death????

4

u/FrodoriyaUzumaki 6d ago

Of all the cancers I could possibly get prostate cancer is the one I’m pretty sure I’m invincible too

4

u/AcademiaCurious 6d ago

Shower thought indeed

4

u/drunk_horsey 6d ago

I am going to go ahead and cross prostate cancer off the things that keep me up at night.

5

u/Dangerous-League7784 6d ago

This is a dumb myth. The only study conducted did not differentiate between sex and masturbation, yet it's interpreted as if "masturbation is good for you".

Guess what, there is nothing backing it up. other studies have looked at the differences between sex and masturbation and only found that sex has positive effects.

or you could wank away your life and be smug about it. idiots

13

u/akadros 7d ago

This is funny but not really accurate. I grew up and didn’t have internet that was quick enough to handle porn until my early 30s. I had magazines, video tapes and porn channels to give me material before that point. Internet just made it easier to have a variety of porn.

7

u/trollking66 7d ago

this ST qualifies as a PSA for me dawg.....thanks...>) I will keep up my daily therapy!

3

u/Princess_Little 7d ago

We were gonna beat it anyways.

3

u/badmotivator11 7d ago

Back in my day…

Basically every boomer comment here.

3

u/missionbeach 7d ago

I've seen the t-shirts, "Fuck Cancer." I guess I didn't realize they meant literally.

3

u/naturalbornkillerz 6d ago

Frankly I find this post, amazing

3

u/DrDudeatude 6d ago

Also the increase in prostate cancer in religious males prevented from masturbating

→ More replies