r/TooAfraidToAsk May 26 '22

How do I stop feeling like an NPC? Interpersonal

Ever since I was a kid I was always a side character. I have never been somebody. I have never had very many friends. I’ve never been popular. I’ve just always have been a nobody. I always feel like if I just died tomorrow that no one would notice or care.

I know part of it’s my fault as I’m just shit at socialization. I don’t know why. I’m just not good at talking to people in a meaningful or memorable way. It’s like whatever part of your brain that makes you good at interacting with other humans is just broken.

I get so in my head about it because I know I look even more like a freak when I’m alone as everyone has friends but me so I stick out as the lonely weirdo.

I want to be normal and feel normal. How can I do this?

30 Upvotes

32

u/Alternative-Look8413 May 26 '22

Accept a quest and start playing.

1

u/nerdyless May 28 '22

What quest did u get? I’m on an escape mission from a song that keeps playing in my head.

20

u/KodaKomp May 26 '22

Make yourself uncomfortable, do stuff you don't think you would like, or go hard into something you like and try to be the best at it.

2

u/OverlordCatBug May 26 '22

I would like to second this comment. Change and challenge can be a really strong catalyst for growth and for confidence.

11

u/gabjiboji May 26 '22

you need a main quest, my friend

6

u/AverageHorribleHuman May 26 '22

Stop comparing yourself to everyone around you

5

u/Amiiabilities May 26 '22

I relate. All I’ll say is get out of your comfort zone. This socially anxiety ridden person here went to LA (I don’t even live there) and saw an overwhelming but really fucking amazing edm concert. And even though things didn’t all go as planned, it was amazing. I couldn’t believe I was actually there. I made a real memory, unlike every other day of my life I’m sitting behind a screen playing video games. And idk now I’m more comfortable with going to something like that, just maybe not in LA next time lolol. ANYWAY

Get up go do something. You don’t have to talk to anyone at first. Just go out and be someone. People will come to you and it might just be a smoother conversation

4

u/im_jay_kay May 26 '22

We’re all NPCs in someone else’s story.

3

u/Far_Information_9613 May 26 '22

I of course have never met you but my guess is that you don’t stick out nearly as much as you suspect. We all feel awkward and weird sometimes and it may be that you just have not found your people yet. If you focus on the things that you like to do and really concentrate on having fun and pursuing your interests, you might be amazed at what happens.

3

u/Fredyum May 26 '22

You are not a PNJ. There is no main characters. There is popular people, lucky people, famous people, but neither of them are main character.

You live your life as you can, do goid things, try great things. Sometimes you win at something, most of the time, no. To be famous isn't the same as to be happy.

In my opinion, the only problem you have is social anxiety and lack of confidence. (I was a lit like this too) It is not a problem to have few friends. It us better to have a few good friend, than a lot of bad or fake friends.

Do what you like (a hobby...), search what make you happy. And don't be concerned with what the other or the society think

3

u/DogeSadaharu May 26 '22

Seek discomfort.

Unless you have already done this I challenge you to go camping in the wild for the weekend. No technology allowed(so you better learn self-survival tactics now rather then later) and only bring up to 2 servings of food. Tell me if you still feel like a NPC after that.

Most people eat the 2 servings the first day and just drives back home. That's pure comfort seeking. That's what an NPC would do.

3

u/Depleet May 26 '22

you may have a mental health condition that is undiagnosed.

a lot of adults now are just getting disagnosed on the autism spectrum and with order disorders like bipolar or adhd.

2

u/anonamalgous May 26 '22

So looking to others to gauge your worth.

1

u/Azozel May 26 '22

Socialization is easy if you're genuinely interested in other people and what they think or have to say. When they tell you something, put yourself in their shoes and try to experience it like they're telling you.

1

u/cactuspizza May 26 '22

I’m an NPC too sometimes. I don’t get it. Switch back and forth randomly

1

u/Cacti_with_a_glock May 26 '22

Hey dude,there are lots of ways to get good at socializing one of them is working out because it builds your confidence and you can actually see yourself grow,other than that you can sign up on some random classes that you are interested in going so you can put yourself out there and start getting comfortable around people And if you really think there is something wrong with you just go talk to a therapist they may help you with what ever mental problems you may have,And there is a trick i sometimes use too when you are in a situation that is kinda new to you just act like you are interested in everything and ask people about themselves (people love talking about themselves)

1

u/Space-Cool May 26 '22

We are all ricks, don't act like a morty in a ricks world.

1

u/Outrageous-Suspect66 May 27 '22

Odd. The strangest person forms groups when they are young. You don't give enough material to work with. If anyone could observe you, it would clear up much. Just guessing? You think to much. I would bet you a grand it's nothing big.

1

u/rc3105 May 27 '22 edited May 27 '22

New flash: Nobody is the main character. Folks who think they are are usually Assholes.

You don't need to be prom king to enjoy life. Figure out what makes you happy and pursue it.

Yeah yeah I know, easier said than done.

Things won't improve if you don't try. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Edit: Your thing doesn't have to be profound. Grandma was happy collecting stamps and sewing quilts. Granddaddy kept about an acre of corn and such as his main hobby. Grandpa loved to fix things just for the sake of fixing things.

1

u/ZardozSama May 27 '22

People care a hell of a lot less about how weird you think you are than you realize.

Having other people give a shit if you live or die is nice, but not exactly necessary. It is more important for you to give a shit about if you live or die. And for you to live a life you actually enjoy.

So stop worrying about how popular you are or if you are a freak or not. As long as your not peeling puppies like banana's or having screaming arguments with fire hydrants, your fine.

Stop worrying about feeling normal. Aim for feeling happy.

END COMMUNICATION

1

u/Hesit8tions 16d ago

Work out, running especially makes me feel alive. write as much as you can.

Listen to intense/ high energy music too.