r/Unexpected • u/Natural-Pilot-2518 • 27d ago

That's my boy

80k Upvotes

84% Upvoted

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292

u/TerribleUsername4 26d ago edited 26d ago

They’re both guys tho, so why do they need condoms? Do you need condoms for butt stuff?

Edit: Since it wasn’t obvious to a lot of you. I AM JOKING. Butt stuff is pretty much how the whole AIDS epidemic started in the 1st place.

248

u/Sp1derX 26d ago

You know how many blood vessels are in a butt?

423

u/Atomicrex2015 26d ago

This is gonna take a while to count, but I'll ping you right back.

81

u/PoptartsandChexMix 26d ago

He's been gone for a bit, I think he might have prolapsed.

26

u/Russell_Bloodstone 26d ago

Just relapsed... Source: Recovering butt-stuff addict

1

u/SnowflakeDH 25d ago edited 25d ago

*prolapsed

Edit: I didn’t read all the comments - just skimmed. My bad.

1

u/Russell_Bloodstone 25d ago

You should read more so you can understand jokes on the internet

1

u/SnowflakeDH 25d ago edited 25d ago

Haaaahahahahaha I didn’t read all the comments. I’m an idiot.

In my defense I’ve been in the back of a car for 2.5 hours with full body aches from Covid booster yesterday, and a torn ACL. I’m not all there.

1

u/Russell_Bloodstone 25d ago

Hope you feel better soon ❣️

11

u/StonedWater 26d ago

give me a shout if you need a spotter

3

u/HornyBrownLad 26d ago

LoL 😂. This definitely deserved that gold star thingy award.

48

u/TerribleUsername4 26d ago

At least six

2

u/lombes 26d ago

You're not wrong.

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u/blurbies22 26d ago

A buttload

2

u/rvnSunbane 26d ago

Gold response

1

u/Competitive_Act_1548 26d ago

Nice🤌🏾👍🏾

-4

u/SquidPortYT 26d ago

buttload is only used for wine and whisky. your joke is wrong and bad

63

u/DireLackofGravitas 26d ago

This is a direct quote from 1980.

9

u/LickaBitaPus 26d ago

Thanks for the laugh.

57

u/EmilyMaze_trans_21 26d ago

Technically no but, it's a really good idea to prevent getting a sexually transmitted disease.

13

u/inigo232 26d ago

Better be safe, no one wants to boof an STD

33

u/druman22 26d ago

Yeah unless you want to risk STDs or HIV

17

u/TheWalkingDead91 26d ago

Wow…wow.. please tell me that was a joke comment.

5

u/TerribleUsername4 26d ago

Of course it is

3

u/CrystalCoffee 26d ago

Would you like some fecal matter in your urethra? Or perhaps some disease?

2

u/Apex_Akolos 26d ago

Adds to the flavor

3

u/CrystalCoffee 26d ago

😩 spicy

2

u/samppsaa 26d ago

Why would it be obvious. There is no joke

1

u/MonkeyTesticleJuice 26d ago

Yes, you're more likely to get an STD from anal.

1

u/TerribleUsername4 26d ago

I know, it is really that unclear that I’m joking!?!?!

2

u/MonkeyTesticleJuice 26d ago

There's a lot of idiots and ignorant people online, it's better to safe than sorry and treat posts like that seriously. lol know what I mean?

1

u/UrbaneBlobfish 26d ago

Needle-use also was part of what started the AIDS epidemic.

1

u/TerribleUsername4 26d ago

Yep, if it’s dirty and it penetrates you, it probably carries AIDS.

2

u/UrbaneBlobfish 26d ago

You can also get AIDS from vaginal intercourse. Basically, never put anything inside of you, ever. Avoid eating/drinking for safe measures.

1

u/TerribleUsername4 26d ago edited 26d ago

Ahhh, but what if I stick the needle up my urethra? The AIDS will obviously cancel each other out

(/s because y’all taking me too seriously)

1

u/UrbaneBlobfish 26d ago

Oh yes, in that case you will become immortal. It’s the cheat code for life itself.

(Also I knew you were joking)

1

u/mcsudds 26d ago

Protip: use /s next time. It's reddit speak for "I'm being sarcastic". Just stick it at the end of your comment and the reddit shit storm will abate

2

u/StonedWater 26d ago

protip: use language to convey your sarcasm

The Americans may not get it still but the Australians, Canadians and British will admire you for your humour

1

u/mcsudds 26d ago

The real LPT is always in the comments

1

u/TerribleUsername4 26d ago

I know that, I just thought people would be able to tell that it’s a pretty obvious joke.

1

u/mcsudds 26d ago

For sure! Just looking out in case you were uninitiated 🤘

1

u/Edna_with_a_katana 26d ago

I see that you're joking but to answer your question, the anus isn't made to deliver a baby, so the walls are thinner and more prone to STI's than vaginas.

Still wear condoms for both though. Happy sex!

1

u/TerribleUsername4 26d ago

The anus isn’t made to deliver a baby? Well maybe not your anus, but I have an anus of a different color…

1

u/bigdaddypimpilicious 26d ago

Is anal really how AIDS started? I thought that was a homophonic stereotype.

1

u/TerribleUsername4 26d ago

Well no, but the mistaken belief that STDs can’t be transmitted via anal sex was one of the main causes of the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s.

-1

u/SquidPortYT 26d ago

from your edit i see youre a moron. hiv is not an std.... and condoms wouldnt be necessary to stop hiv we have medicine that prevents getting hiv so you blast your bro's guts. condoms are for stds