r/WhitePeopleTwitter Nov 29 '22

That would do it.

Post image
2.3k Upvotes

34 comments sorted by

107

u/snorkeling_moose Nov 30 '22

If anyone actually believes Apple is even remotely threatened by the Muskrat throwing a tantrum, I have a bridge to sell them. No, wait, I have a bridge to lease them. At usurious rates, and they have to carry bridge insurance through Snorkeling_Moose Insurance Enterprises.

24

u/Ardea_herodias_2022 Nov 30 '22

What, not a NFT of a bridge?

13

u/snorkeling_moose Nov 30 '22

No, they're much to stable when compared to the absolute travesty of a bridge that I have in mind.

1

u/BroMan-Z Nov 30 '22

We’ll fund the bridge with Doge.

1

u/chronictherapist Nov 30 '22

A bridge to Terabithia ... ?

9

u/pixydgirl Nov 30 '22

I have an idea of a bridge to sell them on, that I promise is really coming next year, err I mean 2024, sometime around 2025 or so, so invest now!

6

u/snorkeling_moose Nov 30 '22

You sound like you might work for the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority with those lofty promises.

1

u/LadyGoldberryRiver Nov 30 '22

And Apple are gonna pay for it!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '22

Insult to muskrats. Phony Stark and Melon need to stick.

43

u/NiteShdw Nov 30 '22

Apple’s market cap is $2.25 TRILLION USD.

Twitter’s $44 billion is just 1.9% of Apple’s value. I don’t think they are threatened in anyway by Mr. Musk.

16

u/DeathRaeGun Nov 30 '22

Too expensive for Musk to buy. Checks out.

2

u/cariocano Nov 30 '22

Twitter’s market cap is currently 41.09B ;)

25

u/squeakycleaned Nov 30 '22

I would genuinely love to see musk throw away the rest of his fortune building a shitty phone for conservatives

19

u/SmellMySkunkFarts Nov 30 '22

Remember Facebook's phone? Remember the Fire phone? Remember Microsoft's phone?

I really hope he wastes the rest of his money on a twitter phone.

1

u/BroMan-Z Nov 30 '22

It’d probably look like this and run only twitter. No calls, no texting.

https://i.imgur.com/ir0gEm7.jpg

23

u/GualtieroCofresi Nov 30 '22

The shade is strong here!

14

u/Azair_Blaidd Nov 30 '22

who is this Matt Wallace and why should we care about his ill-thought prophecy

8

u/RedmannBarry Nov 30 '22

Cause it’s funny to make fun of these douchebags

3

u/PeteTheGryphon Nov 30 '22

He’s Elon’s lapdog. He’s Literally obsessed with him but don’t worry, he’ll be disappearing soon… :)

15

u/z-eldapin Nov 30 '22

I LOLd

6

u/DeathRaeGun Nov 30 '22

Me too, when I first saw this tweet.

2

u/lovable_organizer Nov 30 '22

Well.. Same feeling right after I saw it.

11

u/RaymondBeaumont Nov 30 '22

Okay I just looked at his twitter.

Does Musk send his followers lead dust every month to inhale?

10

u/Nyctomancer Nov 30 '22

Yeah, his piddly little $44 billion dollar company is going to end the $1,000 billion dollar giant.

9

u/wskyindjar Nov 30 '22

Your point stands but Apple is north of 2.2T.

7

u/shakedownavenue Nov 30 '22

Also twitter is not worth close to 44 billion. Not when he offered to pay that and certainly not now.

3

u/Prestigious-Quiet-17 Nov 30 '22

It's probably reaching the same value as Truth social. Eventually it will end up like it, a MAGA circle jerk platform.

2

u/smeenz Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

And Elon was re-estimated down to 180 billion two weeks ago, and falling fast, since most of his worth is in Tesla stock, and TSLA has been falling hard since September (from $300 down to $180).

The loans he took out to pay for Twitter were dependent on that stock holding its value, and the lenders will likely ask for more collateral as that value drops, which will make it drop further, because when the CEO of a company starts selling stock, investors run away.

And when twitter fails, and all indications are that it will, he'll suddenly have multiple billions to pay back and nothing to show for it.

3

u/Nyctomancer Nov 30 '22

Oh wow, guess I'm a few years behind.

6

u/Willz093 Nov 30 '22

Elon Musk net worth: $191.2B

Apple Cash stockpile: $202B

Apple literally has more cash laying around than Elons entire net worth! Worst case I’m sure Tim Apple could find a couple billion down the back of the App Store!

4

u/BrokenMemento Nov 30 '22

If Twitter ever goes public again, it will be probably worth less than $15 billion.

3

u/OffManWall Nov 30 '22

Yeah…………………..no. Just no.

1

u/JulesHaggard Nov 30 '22

Coming soon: An iPhone at a premium price that is locked against downloading the Twitter app.