Giancarlo Stanton enters the field of dreams with corn in his pocket

[u/FoldUpBigFoot41]

[u/DUSpartan]

Juan Uribe entered every game with corn in his pocket

...or he was just really happy to be playing baseball

[u/IAmIrritatedAMA → u/DUSpartan]

Did Juan hang dong? I feel like i should have known this as a Giants fan.

Edit: Nevermind, googled “Juan Uribe penis” and got my answer.

[u/BatmanLovesKites → u/IAmIrritatedAMA]

Definitely didn’t think I would be googling “Juan Uribe Penis” when I woke up today.

[u/jiableaux → u/BatmanLovesKites]

lol, that's how i wake up every day. gets the juices flowing...

[u/scoobyduped → u/BatmanLovesKites]

Yeah, nah, I’ll just take y’all’s word for it.

[u/oneeighthirish → u/IAmIrritatedAMA]

This relevant thread is gold

[u/VersaceSamurai → u/oneeighthirish]

Man wtf. I was just in a thread about mtv cribs last night and people were talking about how Chris pontius and Redman had the best episodes. Now in a random thread from 5 years ago about Juan uribes hog it pops up again. Baader-meinhof in full effect for this morning

[u/A_Kindly_Man → u/IAmIrritatedAMA]

They don't call him the ol' coke can for nothing.

[u/secretagentMikeScarn → u/IAmIrritatedAMA]

Bruh lmao. How is that real

[u/droozer → u/IAmIrritatedAMA]

we're all juan uribe's penis on this blessed night

[u/ISeeTheFnords → u/droozer]

Speak for yourself!

[u/AmericanLardAss → u/IAmIrritatedAMA]

…….. did you turn incognito on?

[u/GamerNanedTim → u/IAmIrritatedAMA]

In 2016 he was nicknamed "coke can" by his Indians teammates for a reason

[u/Pale-Emu3934 → u/DUSpartan]

Today I learned Uribe's teammates used to call him "Juanaconda" because he had the biggest penis on the team. (According to a comment to a post on soxtalk.com from April 13th, 2018)

[u/GOATmar_infante]

Back in the good old days, everyone kept an ear of corn in their pants. It was the style at the time.

[u/Noble_Flatulence → u/GOATmar_infante]

And we called sandwiches "Flat Freddies Fredericks" and they cost two playing cards a bite.

[u/One80sKid → u/GOATmar_infante]

Stuck a feather in my hat and called it macaroni

They were on some other shit back in the "good old days".

[u/The5uburbs → u/One80sKid]

That song was actually sung by the English to make fun of American “dandy’s” and their fashion sense in pre-revolutionary times.

[u/One80sKid → u/The5uburbs]

And the National Anthem was a drinking song about "To Anacreon in Heaven". Like I said wild times.

(Macaroni meant cool back then because it meant you were emulating Italian style)

[u/PC_BUCKY → u/The5uburbs]

Didn't the revolution soldiers begin mockingly singing it back at them as they began winning the war?

[u/FrostyD7 → u/GOATmar_infante]

They didn't have any flint corn, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

[u/MundaneInternetGuy]

Country girls make do

[u/digbickjoannie → u/MundaneInternetGuy]

Fuck you for making me remember that

[u/Jwr32 → u/MundaneInternetGuy]

LOL

[u/GroMicroBloom → u/MundaneInternetGuy]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[u/TheDangiestSlad]

Giancornlo Stanton

[u/Archer-Saurus → u/TheDangiestSlad]

The Great Giancornholio

[u/AUsernameThatIsTaken → u/Archer-Saurus]

I need BP for my corndong

[u/Reignado → u/TheDangiestSlad]

Giancornlo Scornton

[u/cubbyfanboy → u/Reignado]

Corncornlo Scornton

[u/Thunder_nuggets101 → u/cubbyfanboy]

Cornholio Stanton

[u/DUSpartan → u/Thunder_nuggets101]

he ran out of TP for his bunghole, so the corncob will have to do

[u/markuspoop → u/DUSpartan]

Are you threatening him?

[u/tuydbuyglar → u/DUSpartan]

Not another TP shortage...:(

[u/deadperson808 → u/Thunder_nuggets101]

Corncorncorn Corntorn

[u/Official_Colgate → u/deadperson808]

Corncorncorn corncorn

[u/boxing_packages → u/Official_Colgate]

A man of culture

[u/slayerhk47 → u/boxing_packages]

A man of cornture

[u/StelioKontos117 → u/Thunder_nuggets101]

The Great Cornholio?

The Sultan of Stalk?

You mean that's the same guy?

[u/ElSummonero → u/StelioKontos117]

The Colossus of Corn!

[u/thatguy170 → u/TheDangiestSlad]

Giancornlo Stole-a-ton

[u/notyouravgredditor → u/TheDangiestSlad]

Giancornhole Stealin

[u/ionboii]

I’ve always loved Giancarlo. There’s something abt a guy who just homers and strikes out

[u/Oslo_Oak → u/ionboii]

I love his swing. It’s like watching video with half the frames missing he’s so fast.

[u/ssjgotenks → u/ionboii]

Me too :(

[u/_Thot_Patrol → u/ionboii]

Wait till you hear about this Tatis guy

[u/OurSaladDays → u/_Thot_Patrol]

Imagine leading the NL in steals only hitting HRs and striking out. That ain't it dog.

[u/JacobDeGod48]

Waiting for the camera to pan to him eating it in the dugout

[u/tuydbuyglar → u/JacobDeGod48]

That would.be pretty awesome..just not corn from that field tho, that is not sweet corn.

[u/tmart14 → u/tuydbuyglar]

It’d be hilarious watching him try to bite into field corn.

[u/Psycho_pitcher → u/tmart14]

They showed it at some point in the game. He spit it out lol.

[u/tmart14 → u/Psycho_pitcher]

Haha!

[u/TonyHawksSkateboard → u/tuydbuyglar]

Damn, I could really go for some Iowa sweet corn now.

[u/Basic_Bichette → u/JacobDeGod48]

That's not sweet corn - fortunately, because there's no better laxative in existence than raw sweet corn.

[u/Amiguinho-Gringo]

People used to use corn cobs to clean their ass. Fun fact.

[u/FoldUpBigFoot41 → u/Amiguinho-Gringo]

Maybe that's why he grabbed it

[u/Amiguinho-Gringo → u/FoldUpBigFoot41]

Hmmm.. no tp in the clubhouse?

[u/OurSaladDays → u/[deleted]]

no tp in the clubhouse?

​

They’re embracing the time period fully.

April 2020?

[u/LadyTruffle → u/Amiguinho-Gringo]

And only Giancarlo remembered to bring one, so they all have to share.

[u/Nikolai_Smirnoff → u/Amiguinho-Gringo]

My great grandpa always told me about that growing up in Iowa lmfao

[u/brisknvoid]

https://media2.giphy.com/media/nlaIf1mRaqoyQ/giphy.gif?cid=5e214886ss9q89ghpw7qsxxfxrd2ljs16gmr04ksrdjxzssg&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

[u/NakedGoose]

My man embracing the game

[u/WurstThrowEver]

Is that corn in your pocket or are you just happy to be here?

[u/MightyCaseyStruckOut]

He'll be seen snacking on it in the 7th inning.

[u/NakedGoose → u/MightyCaseyStruckOut]

No joke... sweet corn picked right off the stalk is absolutely delicious.

[u/B0rf_ → u/NakedGoose]

Yeah but this isn't sweet corn. 99% of corn is going to be field corn and be absolutely disgusting, not to mention hard enough to break teeth.

[u/tuydbuyglar → u/NakedGoose]

If it was sweet corn.. that field is not sweet corn tho, not going to have a good time snacking onnthat cob.

[u/k_rock923 → u/NakedGoose]

City folk here: is that true? I didn't think you could eat it like that.

[u/Quople → u/k_rock923]

Sweet corn yes other corn no

[u/TUNNNNA → u/Quople]

I’d laugh so hard when the city people from Northern VA would come pick and eat the damn cow corn from my farm

[u/rapper_warrior_ninja → u/TUNNNNA]

tell me more of this "cow corn"

[u/GeeseHateMe → u/rapper_warrior_ninja]

That’s most of the corn, at least in the midwest. Just feed corn for cattle and what not.

[u/anaxcepheus32 → u/rapper_warrior_ninja]

It’s commonly called field corn, and I believe the most common in the Us is dent corn.

[u/Quople → u/TUNNNNA]

That’s pretty dang plausible being a Northern VA folk myself

[u/Basic_Bichette → u/TUNNNNA]

And yet field corn is by far the most common corn food crop in Mexico! That doesn't even include masa, which is nearly always made from field corn.

[u/NakedGoose → u/k_rock923]

It's actually healthier to eat raw corn. But yes, make sure it's sweet corn and not feed corn.

[u/JayKomis → u/k_rock923]

If you are this type of corn you’d tear your asshole apart. It’s so incredibly starchy that your body wouldn’t digest it.

This type of corn is fed to cows raw. Cows have 4 stomachs which helps digest the starches. They still shit some of it out undigested. Humans can eat it after it’s milled into cornmeal. You can make corn bread or tortilla chips basically.

[u/tc3590 → u/JayKomis]

They still shit some of it out undigested. Humans can eat it

This part got me for a second lol

[u/JayKomis → u/tc3590]

Omg no

[u/Abusoru → u/NakedGoose]

At the farmer's market near me, one of the farms would offer you a free ear of corn to try. Needless to say, I went back and bought a few more ears later on.

[u/younggun92 → u/MightyCaseyStruckOut]

Throwing it back at Hendriks in the pen

[u/skeletorbilly → u/MightyCaseyStruckOut]

All he needs is some mayo, queso cotija, some chile del arbol and boom you got yourself a mighty fine snack.

[u/TroutCreekOkanagan]

MLB the Show Cover Shot right here.

[u/polishblunder5]

Saving it for a snack

[u/hawksfn1]

I wondered if anyone would take a souvenir!

[u/_Tabor_]

Why did the Yankees just wear their normal unis?

[u/WestCoastBestCoast94 → u/_Tabor_]

TBF, their jerseys haven't changed that much in the last 100 years.

[u/skeletorbilly → u/WestCoastBestCoast94]

Same with us. That's why it's so hard to have a throwback night or an alternate.

[u/BroadwayBully → u/_Tabor_]

Slight differences, non Yankee fans wouldn’t really notice tbh

[u/R3NTAR → u/BroadwayBully]

The numbers are different for sure. Big and boxy

[u/BroadwayBully → u/R3NTAR]

The logo on the hat is bigger, and the letters on the front of the jersey too. It’s slight tho, the proportions are off and it’s kinda bothering me lol

[u/michaelt2223 → u/_Tabor_]

Cause the Yankees are a boring franchise

[u/iunj → u/michaelt2223]

Nothing boring about 27 titles

[u/thighcandy → u/michaelt2223]

Flair up.

[u/VengeantVirgin → u/thighcandy]

Where's the lie?

[u/Uncast]

When a guy making $25 million a year has to steal corn to feed his family, what hope have we? /s

[u/FullmetalGameMaster]

Is that a piece of corn in your pocket or are you just really happy to play baseball.

[u/Rocko52]

Country girls make due

[u/EmpressVixen]

No, he's just really happy to see you.

[u/Inner_Explanation_97]

Greeeeasssyyyyy

[u/RedSpecial22]

Save me a piece of that corn!

[u/ih8t314]

Cornhole 2.0

[u/Lucky2021Emily]

Is that corn in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? 🌽

[u/repwin1]

cornholio

[u/Stevehuffmanisagirl]

funniest thing I have seen all day holy fuck lol

[u/SendixBunny]

That was his outfield card.

[u/FlashFan27]

Man was eating corn before entering the field

[u/alunsmears84]

Gotta get that feed corn

[u/beeps-n-boops]

When in Iowa, do as the Iowans do

[u/SpunTheOne]

Mike Stanton enters the field trying to get more media attention. Fixed.

[u/FoldUpBigFoot41 → u/SpunTheOne]

Or he was just havin a little fun.

Thats how baseball was meant to be

[u/ssjgotenks → u/FoldUpBigFoot41]

Fun? Baseball?? Lmao go back to Boston you’re talkin crazy ?!?

[u/SpunTheOne → u/FoldUpBigFoot41]

Touche~

[u/TopGuardDog50]

If I were playing in this game I’d go out to the corn and start munchin

[u/tmart14 → u/TopGuardDog50]

You wouldn’t munch much. That’s field corn (fed to livestock) not sweet corn (fed to humans). It is a lot tougher I believe.

Also gotta boil it first, which I would like to watch a player do in the outfield.

[u/digbickjoannie → u/tmart14]

You actually don’t have to boil sweet corn before eating it. Still good but not as good. Feed corn you would absolutely have to boil first and even then it’s disgusting

[u/tmart14 → u/digbickjoannie]

True, I haven’t ever tried it raw though. Doesn’t sound fun

[u/ZeroToDeathToLose]

Mike is an underrated funny guy