Since touching Ohtani’s cup on June 18, Miggy is slashing .312/.360/.496 with a 130 wrC+.

[u/ChickenVoicesInHead]

Prior to this, his slash line was .219/.284/.323 with a 68 wRC+. Does this solidify Ohtani’s MVP?

[u/Coop1534]

Since calling Ohtani a bitch, Adam Ottavino has a 7.20 ERA

[u/ChickenVoicesInHead → u/Coop1534]

Since complaining that Ohtani doesn’t speak english, Stephen A. Smith’s hairline has receded an inch.

[u/mrjacank → u/ChickenVoicesInHead]

It's running away from his mouth.

[u/IGetItCrackin → u/ChickenVoicesInHead]

Not because Stephen A. Smith isn’t a handsome man, but because it doesn’t seem possible. The most recent episode of First Take did a bit of digging into Smith’s hairline. In one clip, Smith showed the “an inch” in front of a mirror. When Smith walked out, we could see it was nowhere close to an inch. But when we go into the other side of the clip, the “an inch” is right there on his forehead. If Smith did recede an inch, wouldn’t his forehead be longer? If Smith has receded an inch and we just weren’t able to see it, we’d expect his forehead to be two inches long. If his forehead is already two inches, but we’re not noticing it, it’s a good indication that we aren’t looking for it, which is why Smith’s hairline isn’t receding.

[u/MJA94 → u/IGetItCrackin]

Is this pasta?

[u/karl_manutzitsch → u/MJA94]

Pasta 🤌🏻

[u/TheDangiestSlad → u/Coop1534]

let it be known, nobody insults Ohtani's birthday and gets away with it!!

[u/aflyingsquanch → u/Coop1534]

The Ohtani giveth and taketh away.

[u/oOoleveloOo → u/Coop1534]

You don’t fuck with the baseball god

[u/weIBnow → u/Coop1534]

When the hell did this happen?

[u/pwnd32 → u/weIBnow]

Ottavino struck out Shohei on his birthday and muttered something like “Happy birthday, bitch” afterwards. The baseball world did not like that even if the players didn’t care/forgot about it after about 10 minutes lol

[u/youngthemidget → u/pwnd32]

If I remember correctly, Ohtani smoked a pitch to right field but it was caught because the Sox were using a shift, so not even some impressive feat from Ottavino.

[u/pwnd32 → u/youngthemidget]

Oh yeah I forgot he didn't even fuckin strike him out lol

[u/Buffalongo → u/pwnd32]

He didn’t strike him out lol it was a ball hit sharply to the shift

[u/Bro1999919 → u/pwnd32]

Is that literally it? I swear to god I’ve seen people call Ottavino a racist over the said incident. But I never looked into it.

[u/pwnd32 → u/Bro1999919]

I imagine it's in the same vein as calling umps racist when they make a bad call against a player of color. It's just a rage-fueled, convenient insult even though no one knows their actual views.

[u/Ol_Rando → u/pwnd32]

Angel Hernandez is racist towards the strike zone.

[u/TopGuardDog50 → u/Coop1534]

Ottavino killed our entire bullpen with that

[u/HeelsAlwaysWin → u/TopGuardDog50]

I can only assume Ottavino has a kink for fucking up AL East bullpens.

[u/mcolwander90]

I'm ready to build an Ohtani statue at Comerica.

[u/FancySack → u/mcolwander90]

People walk by, touch his bronze crotch, and are blessed with good luck for the rest of their lives.

[u/Lietenantdan → u/FancySack]

After several years the crotch will be green from people touching it

[u/funkmon → u/Lietenantdan]

Hours

[u/Capt_Smuckers → u/funkmon]

Minutes

[u/Lietenantdan → u/Capt_Smuckers]

Seconds

[u/Hairballs58 → u/Lietenantdan]

Actually, it would be shiny from people touching it. The rest of the statue would patina naturally.

[u/CareBearDontCare → u/FancySack]

People walk by, touch his bronze crotch, and are blessed with good luck for the rest of their wives.

Improved on that for you.

[u/gatemansgc → u/mcolwander90]

yes!

[u/No32]

The real question is how did Ohtani do before and after that?

[u/No32 → u/[deleted]]

.263/.372

He took his—

/.712

...power

[u/GeeseHateMe → u/[deleted]]

So 7 points of Ohtani BA converts into 62 extra wRC+ for Miggy? God damn.

[u/aastew23 → u/GeeseHateMe]

Ohtani doesn’t have much BA to spare, so I think it works

[u/SoDakZak]

Crotch boyyyyy

[u/chh1993x]

It's only fair that we now combine Miggy & Ohtani's numbers for the rest of the season. The 2 have become 1, in a truly biblical sense.

[u/Fun-Raise-3120]

Ohtani went on a hot streak after the touch, too. Its a win-win

[u/YellowShorts]

This is the analysis we need

[u/Daankeykang]

Can Ohtani touch my cup? I mean, I'm not wearing one because that would be weird to do at home but..

[u/TigerBasket → u/Daankeykang]

Dream big kid, you never know

[u/Daankeykang → u/TigerBasket]

Something has to get me outta this slump. Might as well shoot my shot

[u/Ol_Rando → u/Daankeykang]

Dating, like baseball, is a game of averages. Keep taking swings my guy and keep swiping. Maybe choke up on the bat and lower you standards a little bit just to put the ball in play and maybe you'll round 3rd if you know what I mean. Look out for the backdoor hooking curves unless thats your thing, no judgment here.

[u/AugustusSavoy → u/Ol_Rando]

Got to be able to hit the curve if you're gonna make the show

[u/Ol_Rando → u/AugustusSavoy]

unzips

Batter up

[u/cenakofi]

it solidified Ohtani alright

[u/real_sophon]

80 grade analysis.

[u/ImEatingSalsa]

Can someone give me a link for the Ohtani/Miggy incident? I completely missed it lol

[u/dead_drunk_and_naked → u/ImEatingSalsa]

https://old.reddit.com/r/baseball/comments/o2hbf9/ohtani_accidentally_beans_cabrera_cabrera_then/

[u/ImEatingSalsa → u/dead_drunk_and_naked]

Oh my god. I love miggy so much, 500 here we come

[u/Tornado_Wind_of_Love → u/ImEatingSalsa]

And Ohtani just set Vlad Jr. off

Fade me!

[u/Cask-n-flagon → u/ImEatingSalsa]

uwu

[u/SaitosElephant]

This dude is a genie or something

At this point all the Angels should touch his cup, that's the only hope they have left for the playoffs

[u/thescottreid]

Consider Pujols’ resurgence. He must have shook Ohtani’s hand as they parted ways in Anaheim. Ohtani must possess the fountain of youth. Is there is no end to this majestic being?

[u/brandon_the_bald]

Magic Cup

[u/KillermooseD]

He got the spice

[u/pessimist13k → u/KillermooseD]

the spice melange...

[u/willi3blaz3]

HOF knows HOF

[u/Styx1886]

It means that Ohtanis cup is magic

[u/ZeroToDeathToLose]

Lucky dick

[u/strangehitman22]

he took his magic?

[u/CoaxHoax]

I need a touch now

[u/jackandjill_nash]

Angels need to have an orgy in the outfield to fuel the playoff push

[u/new_wellness_center]

What happens if I touch the cup?

[u/pro_n00b]

Id drink off his cup

[u/theyusedthelamppost]

do the umpires need to do a substance check on the cup? maybe it has some alien technology or magic substance that enhances performance

[u/Berzercurmudgeon]

I mean if that's not a clear causal link I don't know what is.