r/cursedcomments Aug 18 '22 Wholesome 1

Cursed_powers Reddit

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9.8k Upvotes

312

u/PrimitiveAspid Aug 18 '22

Dementia

304

u/VKosyak Aug 18 '22

But you have all tge super powers.

149

u/crablegs_aus Aug 18 '22

And you always forget you have all the superpowers so you never use them and live a normal dementia life.

97

u/silver1q2w3e Aug 18 '22

Except you can't die because immortality.

38

u/EstherClemmens Aug 18 '22

Except you forgot you are immortal and die anyway

3

u/GloomreaperScythe Aug 19 '22

/) Death hacks.

20

u/envyonmeth Aug 18 '22

and any other powers that are applied without the will to

20

u/tranh4 Aug 18 '22

You forget you can fly and somehow manage to fly out of nowhere and spook yourself.

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28

u/UnNonStop Aug 18 '22

what ever you forget vanishes from existence

11

u/EstherClemmens Aug 18 '22

Yes! I forget the US government.

19

u/LetMeHaveANickPlz Aug 18 '22

You forget you have dementia

3

u/blizzard2798c Aug 18 '22

But you have healing factor

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350

u/mr-reaper652 Aug 18 '22

All the super powers!

236

u/123457sam Aug 18 '22

you have glodfish memory

312

u/mr-reaper652 Aug 18 '22

All the super powers!

111

u/beelzeebub077 Aug 18 '22

All the weakness

89

u/Achira_boy_95 Aug 18 '22

gets super-aids

49

u/TuxTues3 Aug 18 '22

You have prostate cancer

28

u/Jaded-Foundation-329 Aug 18 '22

At least I can fly!

26

u/IfuckedACrab Aug 18 '22

I have the power of 7 minutes to live

12

u/Jaded-Foundation-329 Aug 18 '22

I’ve seen you before!

14

u/IfuckedACrab Aug 18 '22

I see my name was lodged in your memory

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6

u/Reddit_Blaze702 Aug 18 '22

Damn, they can only remember a month if their life.

5

u/WhyteTyrant27 Aug 18 '22

That means that they would forget that they have superpowers after a month and just laser their annoying teacher by mistake and be like...ayo how'd that happen

3

u/Dr_Philmon Aug 18 '22

So nothing changed.

2

u/Angry5Man Aug 18 '22

That’s a pretty good memory. The whole 3 second is a total myth. They can remember things for up to a few years

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27

u/Norsedragoon Aug 18 '22

But they are tied to a series of split personalities and can only be used when that personality is dominant.

13

u/Non_Volatile_Human Aug 18 '22

I like that idea

13

u/Norsedragoon Aug 18 '22

Super strong giant power? Connected to the personality of a timid elementary school girl.

18

u/Phakeperson69 Aug 18 '22

Power of seduction? Tied to the personality of a very old grandmother.

13

u/Norsedragoon Aug 18 '22

Super speed? Quadrapalegic personality.

12

u/BabyBoomer74 Aug 18 '22

Extraordinary intellect? Personality declared brain dead.

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2

u/Rantman021 Aug 18 '22

So... Legion from Marvel Comics ?

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102

u/Bastidon Aug 18 '22

Luck

133

u/TheBeardedWelshman79 Aug 18 '22

Pancreatic cancer

55

u/PKYourAverageJoe Aug 18 '22

What stage?

200

u/TheBeardedWelshman79 Aug 18 '22 Wholesome

Rainbow Road

8

u/RealSuperYolo2006 Aug 18 '22

MK Wii of course

7

u/Mudkipueye Aug 18 '22

The best one on a console.

5

u/Mr-Sister-Fister21 Aug 18 '22

That’s an advanced stage gl

6

u/Riptide1778 Aug 18 '22

Can you imagine being in hospital and the doctor goes “you’ve got stage plays the rainbow road theme and is silent the entire time pancreatic cancer”

3

u/Gogglebottle Aug 18 '22

This is probably the first time I actually laughed out loud reading a comment on reddit. Thank you

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22

u/Skykeeper22 Aug 18 '22

The luck will somehow make you survive

3

u/TheBeardedWelshman79 Aug 18 '22

**Repeating & neverending Pancreatic cancer

6

u/9-11_Pilot01 Aug 18 '22

So, Deadpool mixed with Domino?

3

u/Asaxtrm7 Aug 18 '22

That's just unlucky which isn't really possible, Luck is a seriously strong superpower.

3

u/OCarinhaQueViuCoisas Aug 18 '22

His power is luck he'll be okay

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2

u/beelzeebub077 Aug 18 '22

Others around you will be unlucky

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96

u/DARKx97 Aug 18 '22

teleport anywhere i been to before

133

u/Usual_North_9960 Aug 18 '22

But you become nude every time

73

u/NebelNator_427 Aug 18 '22

Hey that's 2 good powers then💖

11

u/A_CrazyBraziliann Aug 18 '22

No if he is a man

13

u/DARKx97 Aug 18 '22

i am, and no i dont want to teleport to the gym naked

13

u/A_CrazyBraziliann Aug 18 '22

If you teleport to the prison, don't drop the soap ok?

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4

u/Parking-Midnight5339 Aug 18 '22

Teleport into your bed and boom you're naked 😎

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4

u/conure512 Aug 18 '22

something something Hughie Campbell

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5

u/KinG-Mu Aug 18 '22

Relative to the centre of the galaxy. Enjoy the void of space.

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3

u/Lucky-finn377 Aug 18 '22

It hurts a stupid amount every time you teleport

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52

u/Rapiitar Aug 18 '22

Morphing into any animal in existance

108

u/hunterarcer Aug 18 '22

Whenever you do zoophiles are teleported to your location

24

u/Rapiitar Aug 18 '22

OH SHOOT NVM, can you shoot them for me please?

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3

u/LoneShadow84 Aug 18 '22

But that's good, just get a gun and shoot them. Make them suffer for their decisions in life

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3

u/Mattyboy0066 Aug 18 '22

Good. Time to go on a murder spree of righteousness

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2

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

prostate cancer

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50

u/Outrageous_Sink_6965 Aug 18 '22

Crippling depression

86

u/aaaaaaaaaaa27y5 Aug 18 '22

Your forced to wear a smile or you vanish

24

u/Outrageous_Sink_6965 Aug 18 '22

Sounds about right. I think it would happen lol

2

u/A_CrazyBraziliann Aug 18 '22

You have extreme luck

12

u/BBH_pinecone Aug 18 '22

I wear a mask with a smile on for hours at a time

11

u/JeffYT08 Aug 18 '22

Stare at his nutsack while I hold my cum tonight

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42

u/Nyandora0Nyanor Aug 18 '22

Skyrim perfectly balanced power

27

u/Name_In_Use1507 Aug 18 '22

"Features"

12

u/stolzen1216 Aug 18 '22

"It just works"

10

u/Andro451 Aug 18 '22

“Perfectly balanced”

-some random British guy

8

u/E_MC_2__ Aug 18 '22

“lemme just make a fork that instakills that dragon over there”

-same random British guy

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5

u/stolzen1216 Aug 18 '22

'Sips tea'

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34

u/Luxray209 Aug 18 '22

I'm omnipotent

50

u/beelzeebub077 Aug 18 '22

In a world filled with omnipotent and omniscient

42

u/Wow_so_creative Aug 18 '22 Wholesome

"Because when everyone becomes super...no one will be"

7

u/Usual_North_9960 Aug 18 '22

And your dice fall off every minute

3

u/poy04 Aug 18 '22

Also impotent

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31

u/shroomanbeing Aug 18 '22

x-ray vision

32

u/dizzyygf Aug 18 '22

but you see everyone naked all the time

42

u/A_CrazyBraziliann Aug 18 '22

I see that as an advantage

You see, all i need to do is look at women

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5

u/shroomanbeing Aug 18 '22

that’s not too bad, i’m p comfortable with the human body

5

u/EstherClemmens Aug 18 '22

Imagine going to the zoo...

5

u/Alex-Flikon1 Aug 18 '22

But the x-rays gives people cancer

3

u/shroomanbeing Aug 18 '22

a little cancer never hurt anybody

3

u/NuncErgoFacite Aug 18 '22

But otherwise you are blind

3

u/Fly_Tie Aug 18 '22

You see the wretched innards of every living thing and you cannot turn it off, like that one anime

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2

u/alba4k Aug 18 '22

so you don't see anything

29

u/Dradekon Aug 18 '22

𓃥 𓃠 𓃰 𓃱 𓃯 𓃭 𓃸 𓃵 𓃗 𓃘 𓃙 𓃟 𓄀 𓄁 𓄂 𓄃 𓃚 𓃛 𓃜 𓃝  𓃞 𓃒 𓃓 𓃔 𓃕 𓃖 𓃡 𓃢 𓃦 𓃩 𓃫 𓃬 𓃮 𓃲 𓃴 𓃶 𓃷 𓃹 𓃻 𓃽 𓃾 𓃿 𓄄 𓄅 𓄆 𓄇 𓆇 𓆈 𓆉 𓆌 𓆏 𓆗 𓆘 𓆙 𓆚 𓆐 𓆑 𓆒 𓆓 𓆔 𓆕 𓆖 𓆊 𓆍 𓆣 𓆤 𓆥 𓆦 𓆧 𓆨 𓆛 𓆜 𓆝 𓆞 𓆟 𓆠 𓆡 𓆢 𓄿 𓅀 𓅁 𓅂 𓅃 𓅄 𓅅 𓅆 𓅇 𓅈 𓅉 𓅋  𓅊 𓅌 𓅍 𓅎 𓅏 𓅐 𓅑 𓅒 𓅓 𓅔 𓅕 𓅖 𓅗 𓅙 𓅘 𓅚 𓅛 𓅜 𓅝 𓅞 𓅟 𓅠 𓅡 𓅢 𓅣 𓅤 𓅥 𓅦 𓅧 𓅨 𓅩 𓅪 𓅫 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯 𓅰 𓅱 𓅲 𓅳 𓅴 𓅵 𓅶 𓅷 𓅸 𓅹 𓅺 𓅻 𓅼 𓅽 𓅾 𓅿 𓆀 𓆁 𓆂 𓆃 𓆆

40

u/PikachuDR Aug 18 '22

but you cant speak Egypt

9

u/JeffYT08 Aug 18 '22

You’re slaughtered during the 10 Plagues of Egypt

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24

u/TheysandHeys Aug 18 '22

the ability to educate people using slaps

18

u/Kidnaboy Aug 18 '22

They’re always masochists, into necrophilia, and serial killers.

4

u/bryan_comp7 Aug 18 '22

I guess that they will kill him too

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21

u/CEOofBrexit Aug 18 '22

Larry Wheels strength with a side of Andrew Tate's ability to avoid the police, don't ask me why

6

u/GandiniGreat Aug 18 '22

You have Severe back problems

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15

u/PI_Dude Aug 18 '22

I have no initial superpower, but every negative trait I get from others, automatically transforms into it's positive counterpart, or stays positive, if it isn't negative.

22

u/PikachuDR Aug 18 '22

This activates periodly when u finish ur entire social media feed

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13

u/Dinoguy360 Aug 18 '22

Shapeshifter

2

u/NebelNator_427 Aug 18 '22

"bye fake Neeko"

11

u/fingergod69 Aug 18 '22

Ability to mind read

36

u/dizzyygf Aug 18 '22

but you verbally speak what the other person's thinking every time you read someone's mind

4

u/PikachuDR Aug 18 '22

still pretty op if you do it from afar or if this works through online broadcast

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10

u/DerMolch Aug 18 '22

living

27

u/_Pelinal_ Aug 18 '22

But you don’t want to

21

u/DerMolch Aug 18 '22 Helpful

You are right

3

u/NuncErgoFacite Aug 18 '22

But surrounded by stupid people who think they are right about anything

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10

u/beelzeebub077 Aug 18 '22

Godly immortality

34

u/Nyandora0Nyanor Aug 18 '22

Never ending diarrhea

9

u/beelzeebub077 Aug 18 '22

Well if I'm immortal i don't need to eat ,do i ? So no need to worry about diarrhea

17

u/VascUwU Aug 18 '22

U shit blood then

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3

u/Nyandora0Nyanor Aug 18 '22

I didn't say you have to eat to get it, I just say diarrhea, never ending diarrhea

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3

u/Wonder-Sauce Aug 18 '22

Only on mondays.

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8

u/GandiniGreat Aug 18 '22

The ability to master the fighting cane weapon.

21

u/crablegs_aus Aug 18 '22

Every cane you touch turns into a dick

12

u/PikachuDR Aug 18 '22

I thought the 2nd comment was suppose to be a drawback

2

u/GandiniGreat Aug 18 '22

Fair, maybe

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7

u/Ticket-Intelligent Aug 18 '22 edited Aug 18 '22

I can breathe fire.

11

u/Copper_Bronze_Baron Aug 18 '22

Everything you eat gets burned in your mouth before you can swallow it

4

u/Ticket-Intelligent Aug 18 '22

So I could try to eat something raw and cook it in my mouth, awesome.

4

u/dylan6091 Aug 18 '22

Breathing fire hurts as bad as you imagine it would.

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14

u/meme-enjoyr Aug 18 '22

I can make anyone fuck me at command

38

u/Kidnaboy Aug 18 '22

They temporarily get an std just long enough to infect you, then lose it.

4

u/bryan_comp7 Aug 18 '22

When you do it they became men with 30 cm thick P

17

u/Zaphkyr Aug 18 '22

nono I think you're supposed to make the side effect something negative

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4

u/car_guy_92 Aug 18 '22

Weird my parents said dementia is my superpowers

9

u/MagicElf755 Aug 18 '22

You get teleported to a random place once a week and forget who you were and what happened the previous week

3

u/beelzeebub077 Aug 18 '22

I want that as my super power

10

u/Klaus_shneider Aug 18 '22

CHEESE

49

u/SSZR Aug 18 '22 Helpful

You're lactose intolerant

4

u/Irinusdeplus Aug 18 '22

Honestly, idk so.. Making inanimate things come to life, ig

10

u/PikachuDR Aug 18 '22

they always attempt to eat you someway or another

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3

u/Poewer9000 Aug 18 '22

Teleportation

18

u/Competitive-breather Aug 18 '22

You’re black and can only teleport to KKK meetings

3

u/Kidnaboy Aug 18 '22

If you teleport within 5 metres of any type of wall, natural or not, you end up inside it.

4

u/Dejdo2000 Aug 18 '22

No side effects!

14

u/Dawn_is-here Aug 18 '22

No superpower then muggle

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5

u/robin-kun Aug 18 '22

Immunity to testicular cancer

9

u/DeadEndXD Aug 18 '22

You have prostate cancer

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10

u/ArchHackerMan Aug 18 '22

I'm black

33

u/PikachuDR Aug 18 '22

you have rights

5

u/bryan_comp7 Aug 18 '22

People see you in the dark

3

u/TheRealFran Aug 18 '22

You live in the south

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3

u/MemeSeeker5656 Aug 18 '22

Invisibility( The side effect of cant go invisible infront of people does not work)

34

u/-RllyBruh- Aug 18 '22

When you go invisible you can’t see other people

4

u/Skykeeper22 Aug 18 '22

Thats not so bad. At least I can hide from people.

12

u/BlockNarrow6745 Aug 18 '22

You go blind when invisible

8

u/sermatheus Aug 18 '22

Scientific accurate invisibility.

3

u/BlockNarrow6745 Aug 18 '22

Ya I thought invisibility was cool until I got to know the side effects :(

3

u/sermatheus Aug 18 '22

Yeah. Invisibility means you don't reflect light, but your eyes also does not reflect light, meaning you can't see anything.

It is a cool thing to be done in invisibility scenarios that not many writers use.

5

u/E_MC_2__ Aug 18 '22

except your balls

10

u/Bann3d_Admin43 Aug 18 '22

people with autism can see you

I see you

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3

u/emab2396 Aug 18 '22

I can vanish from existence and come back.

6

u/PikachuDR Aug 18 '22

everyone know where and when u plan to come back

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3

u/Rupertii Aug 18 '22

Herpes

4

u/Kidnaboy Aug 18 '22

You are effectively a living aphrodisiac.

3

u/chaoticboi586 Aug 18 '22

I can cause earthquakes

3

u/Kidnaboy Aug 18 '22

If you cause one from inside any building, no matter how strong the building or weak the quake, the building will collapse specifically on you.

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3

u/displotEx Aug 18 '22

forget cringe memories at will

9

u/Fluid-Design3714 Aug 18 '22

Remember depressing memories every 5 minutes

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3

u/Translationerr0r Aug 18 '22

I can stab every reposter in the face over the internet

9

u/Fluid-Design3714 Aug 18 '22

You are allergic to water

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3

u/theGhostOfMtAkina Aug 18 '22

"Refill power"

Wallet empty? Refill. Gas tank empty? Refill. Plate empty? Refill. Beer pitcher empty? Refill.

3

u/Shadow_Scale Aug 18 '22

Everything you fill starts leaking almost immediately

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3

u/dylan6091 Aug 18 '22

My superpower is to inexplicably avoid or reverse all adverse side effects that I might ever face in life.

7

u/Kidnaboy Aug 18 '22

Side effect is instant death.

2

u/PikachuDR Aug 18 '22

then u got no benefical superpower too, that itself is a drawback ig

2

u/dylan6091 Aug 18 '22

Idk man... No negative side effects means I can get drunk with no hangover😅

3

u/PikachuDR Aug 18 '22

damn thats smart

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2

u/Chooseausernamd2 Aug 18 '22

Why is there a wither Chad in the picture though?

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2

u/cyfydude Aug 18 '22

Get adopted by bill gates

8

u/Copper_Bronze_Baron Aug 18 '22

You're his pet spider and there's a chance you're gonna get stepped on by one of his housekeepers

2

u/Michael-J-Foxtrot Aug 18 '22

The power to never have anything bad ever happen to me.

7

u/Copper_Bronze_Baron Aug 18 '22

Every bad thing that could happen to you happens to your loved ones instead

4

u/Doublew08 Aug 18 '22

nothing good happens too

2

u/YourLocalPanMushroom Aug 18 '22

Telepathy? Idk-

3

u/Doublew08 Aug 18 '22

but everyone can read your mind

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2

u/AlingmentUnoriginal Aug 18 '22

Become the Xenomorph Queen.

I'm putting all sorts of a-hole side effects upon myself i guess.

4

u/Kidnaboy Aug 18 '22

You’re not immune to your acid blood.

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