r/dankmemes Dumbassery 5d ago Silver 1 Helpful 2 Wholesome 1

I thought long and hard about it

Post image
28.0k Upvotes

8.7k

u/PeikaFizzy Yellow 5d ago

Sex, get it?

6.5k

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago Silver Helpful

I dont get it

2.2k

u/Business_Canary_7623 5d ago

Exactly

634

u/GameKnight319 True Gnome Child 5d ago

You didn't have to kill him!?!

191

u/Free-Consequence-164 5d ago

Or did he?

121

u/Dr_Dressing 5d ago

He did...

And as always; thanks for watching.

37

u/Intr3pidG4ming 5d ago

Why did I hear ETA Prime in my head?

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u/DotDotDot695 ☣️ 5d ago

Sauce?

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u/MrMangobrick 5d ago

Man was completely bamboozled.

488

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

181

u/UrMomsAreMine 5d ago

SEX 2

70

u/lizurd777 5d ago

You need the proper sound effect for this comment

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u/ZZalty 5d ago

”SEX III return of the CEO” is a cinematic masterpiece starring Led Needs as the CEO of Sex, it’s the first movie since the legendary Morbious to achieve a morbillion dollars in box offices

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u/mrteleport1 5d ago

Bro was entirely flabbergasted

9

u/Oswaldthestegosaurus 5d ago

Dude was absolutely bewildered

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u/SEX_CEO 5d ago

I do

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u/Firemorfox 5d ago

Oh damn, it's u/SEX_CEO

When is sex 2.0 coming out?

And why is there casual sex but no ranked sex?

66

u/qAsYoo 5d ago

You need to win 10 casual sex matches to unlock ranked.

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u/TheLostSoul- 5d ago

Of course you don't

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u/Grantelkade 5d ago

Uh that one got him good

25

u/InfinitePoolNoodle 5d ago

I'm saving up

29

u/SomeKidsForBreakfast 5d ago

Damn the inflation nowerdays.

14

u/whyamihere999 5d ago

I'm yet to get it!

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8.3k

u/Disastrous_Ninja_143 5d ago Helpful Wholesome

gay people are fucking assholes

4.7k

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Thats not cool dude. We should be more inclusive.

1.2k

u/FreeSkeptic 5d ago

INclusive

249

u/Arabecke 5d ago

Haw haw haw haw

68

u/Lombax_Rexroth 5d ago

Cool song, Dave.

30

u/Timmaaa_xD 5d ago

haw haw haw haw haw

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u/Lord-Redbeard 5d ago

guy named clusive 😏

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256

u/knuckle_sandwiches 5d ago

kid named clusive

71

u/ThatOnePringle69 5d ago

Kid named finger

51

u/kajetus69 the🗿 5d ago

Waltuh

54

u/bruh9923 💎 the rarest pepe 💎 5d ago

Put yer dick away Waltuh

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u/BadPilot22 5d ago

Kid named kid named clusive

23

u/DakotaTypo 5d ago

Finger in Clusive. Whoa.

19

u/Buddy92301 5d ago

kid named assholes

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302

u/Parkingjas Eic memer 5d ago

And lesbians are fucking pussies

34

u/TheInstituteOfSteel 5d ago

They love licking lips

28

u/JorjEade 4d ago

Aren't men also fucking pussies

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u/LinguisticApe 5d ago

I was going to make a gay joke, butt fuck it.

44

u/CleetisMcgee 5d ago

Hey thats enough with the gay jokes, cum on guys

28

u/Due_Sector8816 5d ago

He said jokes not facts

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u/J_Uzi05 5d ago

Nice avatar

40

u/K9XD 5d ago

yoshikage kira??????????????

102

u/J_Uzi05 5d ago

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.

14

u/yHyakkimaru 5d ago

OrorororoorororororororrororororororororororororororoR

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u/boomstik4 something's caught in my balls 5d ago

I started to write a comeback then realised the joke 🤦‍♂️

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3.8k

u/Richard_Whipper 5d ago

If you got it, you'd be screwed..

2.1k

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Damn, i hope i dont get it then

689

u/Hexenkonig707 5d ago

Yeah you‘d be absolutely fucked

562

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Gotta watch out then.

67

u/zenchemin 5d ago

Stay away from Canadians and their politeness.

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2.4k

u/monkeyman0621 5d ago

What does someone say when they see a huge dick?

2.3k

u/LootGodamn 5d ago

Here comes my co-worker again

586

u/Arabecke 5d ago

Again lmao

1.1k

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

They tell them to stop being a dick?

91

u/RJugal 5d ago

One does not simply stop being a dick.

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385

u/blazeingjosh 5d ago

Not tonight dad, I've got homework.

66

u/sidBthegr8 5d ago

please🥺

60

u/Thegodofthekufsa If she leaves you for another there's always her mother 5d ago

📷🤨

21

u/realPoiuz 🔰real mod🔰 5d ago

🪑

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u/suchirsharma11 5d ago

Umm- "Sir, this is a Wendy's"

60

u/Business_Canary_7623 5d ago

Here cums the sun, doodoodoodoo

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u/BigFridgeYerDad 5d ago

guys a huge dick

15

u/EchoPrince 5d ago

That's rude, Richard is self conscious about his height

12

u/LeywinArt 5d ago

Not again DAD ! (⁠。⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)

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2.0k

u/Grantelkade 5d ago

all these jokes weak like your pullout game!

1.7k

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago Silver

Whats a pullout and how do i play it?

524

u/PIZZAMEMER69 5d ago

And then he wonders why he has 7 kids

56

u/Ornery-Personality10 5d ago

And 8 figures in debt

16

u/MissplacedLandmine 5d ago

Christ that dude couldnt even pull out of a driveway

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u/dalai_lara 5d ago

you haven't heard of Pullout: New Vegas? Amazing game

57

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Thanks for yhe suggestion, ill try it

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u/auspicious-erection 5d ago

I can't even pullout my driveway

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1.7k

u/Turbulent_Web2307 5d ago

Sex ? Never heard of that pokémon

1.2k

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Me neither. Its probably one of the newer gens

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u/Portugee_D 5d ago

It’s in the Pokédex right next to lickalotapus

13

u/Giraffeless 5d ago

You're confusing lickitung for a lesbian dinosaur

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1.3k

u/Grantelkade 5d ago

I‘m as disappointed by these comments as my partner last night.

876

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Whatd he do? Im sure you can work things out together

158

u/Grantelkade 5d ago

Good one

21

u/BeoWulf156 5d ago

How could your partner read these comments last night? The post is 2h old!

8

u/Jeff_the_Officer pogchamp researcher 5d ago

Time zones obviously smh my head

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933

u/Ghostsarepeopletoo 5d ago

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered six offender.

430

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

That must suck then

68

u/Thegodofthekufsa If she leaves you for another there's always her mother 5d ago

I don't think 6 will have any choice except suck

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u/rnd0musr 5d ago

69

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u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

What do you mean? 69 what?

472

u/TheLordSeal 5d ago

Balls in yo mouth

449

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago edited 5d ago

How big are they? I dont think i can fit that amount of balls in my mouth

210

u/TheLordSeal 5d ago

Just like u cant fit shreks dick in yo mouth :D

499

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago Helpful Wholesome

🤮

219

u/TheLordSeal 5d ago

The mad man... He did it

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u/unfitone1 5d ago

Thanks now I only see that shreks dick is in that emojis mouth

9

u/J3sush8sm3 The Monty Pythons 4d ago

Thats just shreks cum

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u/Smug-Idiot I have 9 boiled eggs in ass right now 5d ago

😋

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u/Cheesy_Cheese1 5d ago

It's easy!

Just find 35 redditors

40

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Why redditors? Cant i just buy them?

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u/StanR7 5d ago

Nice

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451

u/AnInsaneMoose 5d ago

I would tell you a sex joke, but you wouldnt get it

344

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Why not? Try me!

125

u/Jazzlike-Watch7847 5d ago

That’s the point; no one wants to try you out

141

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Why not? I promise ill get the joke

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u/DayAndNight0nReddit 5d ago

I was gonna make the best sex joke, but no one here gets it.

229

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Nah im sure someone will get it

26

u/Skeptic_Sinner 5d ago

Username doesn't check out

9

u/DayAndNight0nReddit 5d ago

That's not the reason I don't get it, I am just too lazy :/

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u/ignacio_12345 5d ago

Are you a bottle of ketchup? 'cause I wanna flip you over and hit you from the back until you squirt

307

u/Upside_Down-Bot 5d ago

„ʇɹınbs noʎ lıʇun ʞɔɐq ǝɥʇ ɯoɹɟ noʎ ʇıɥ puɐ ɹǝʌo noʎ dılɟ ɐuuɐʍ I ǝsnɐɔ, ¿dnɥɔʇǝʞ ɟo ǝlʇʇoq ɐ noʎ ǝɹ∀„

113

u/__--TSS--__ 5d ago

Ayo, what the fuck?

58

u/legit_not_fbi_agent 5d ago

the bot can be trigger on subreddits that allow it I guess, it flips your text if it includes "flip", it takes the top left corner to bottom right

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u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

No, im a human.

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u/ignacio_12345 5d ago

I'm still gonna do it

88

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Alright just tell me when you come

49

u/its-pandabear 5d ago

When you come :)

70

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Alright then see you there

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u/RolfDasWalross 5d ago

Whats the difference between a fridge and a woman?

The fridge wont fart when you pull out the sausage

Send me to hell for this

217

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Obviously. Fridges cant fart

46

u/Blasulz1234 5d ago

Fellow mechatronic for cooling systems here. I have 69 years of experience in working with Fridges and I can confidently say they can't fart

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u/Confusedandreticent 5d ago

“I thought you said you had a baby dick!?”

“I do: 14 inches, 8 1/2 pounds”

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u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Thats quite a small baby.

18

u/End_Centralization 5d ago

Short and fat baby

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u/Mystical_avocado226 5d ago

There are two my two sexes

The sex I had with your mom and the sex I had with your dad

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u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Yo mama

20

u/lordeSnow 5d ago

Skamtebord

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u/vatemapper 5d ago Silver

If i'd to choose the title of a film to describe my sexual life i'd choose Tomb Raider

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u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Yeah, that was a good movie

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u/seahawk1337 5d ago

Bro 💀

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u/Tough-Cash1869 5d ago

Stop! You are making him horny!

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u/Kishinia 5d ago

I would tell you a joke about cock but I'm too afraid that it will get too hard...

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u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Take it slow and easy. You can do it

59

u/Possible-Room-6041 5d ago

It’s not a rape if both are crying.

20

u/NotFlam3 5d ago

Good point, i'll be careful next time

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u/imawizard7bis 5d ago

See you next time, officer

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u/THE_BL4CK_KNIGHT 5d ago

what Harry Potter says when he cums?

Coitus interruptus

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u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Ive never heard of that spell

20

u/THE_BL4CK_KNIGHT 5d ago

Its a top secret spell

28

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Ah i see. Thank you

35

u/Pristine_Eggplant_86 5d ago

Come to Alabama

41

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

What is there to do in alabama?

39

u/FreeSkeptic 5d ago

You thought long and hard but can you get long and hard?

48

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Idk im average height and sometimes when i wake up im a little stiff. So maybe

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u/BigFridgeYerDad 5d ago

A, B, C, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z... you can get the D later.

42

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Alright then, when exactly?

35

u/amoeba_rising 5d ago

I am inside your walls. 🤓

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u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

How do you manage to get out then?

22

u/firestriker45665 fucking thrilled to be here 5d ago

That's the neat part, he doesn't.

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u/vainstar23 5d ago

What's sexier than a woman with long legs?

A woman with three long legs...

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u/DomeB0815 5d ago

I don't have a good one yet, you came to early.

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u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Its ok dude. You can take your time.

20

u/Cursed_Squire 5d ago edited 5d ago

Jack and John are having sex. Jack is on top. The room catches fire. Who makes it out first?

John his shit is already packed

John later finds a relationship with a transgender a few months later and learns the best thing about having sex with them is he can reach around and pretend it went all the way through.

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u/Astrolys Dank Cat Commander 5d ago

Everyone must have seen the ligma and deez jokes, but have you heard of Hava ?

26

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

No, whats hava?

47

u/Astrolys Dank Cat Commander 5d ago

Hava nice day :)

28

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

You too brother

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u/ProfXavr 5d ago

Why did the trans-man only eat vegetables?

Because he was a her before

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u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Good for him. Eating healthy is important.

16

u/Lord_of_Seven_Kings 5d ago

Hehe peepee go in vagoona

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u/Cr3zy_W01f 5d ago

Bold of you to assume I even have it. True king!

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u/BorisYeltsen FUCK 5d ago

yO mAmA

31

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

What about her?

14

u/BorisYeltsen FUCK 5d ago

Could you give me back the watch?

29

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Sure ill ask her

20

u/BorisYeltsen FUCK 5d ago

Thank you wery much. Forgot it yesterday in her badroom.

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u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

No problem dude

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u/the_combat_wombat05 5d ago

Sex is like sex I dont get any

30

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Wdym? You get one at birth

14

u/PonchiBear 5d ago Wholesome

I bought a porn DVD the other day, but when I put it in, all I saw on the screen was some fat guy holding his little pecker. Then I realized I forgot to turn the TV on.

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u/PrimitiveAspid 5d ago

That’s what she said

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u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

What did she say again?

11

u/PrimitiveAspid 5d ago

She said you get no sex

24

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Im not quite sure i get it

10

u/Mr_Goose12341 5d ago

What's saters with P and ends with orn

37

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Popcorn? Or peppercorn even

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u/Ta5ton 5d ago

How many freudian psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just two. One to actually change the lightbulb and the other to hold the penis LADDER fuck I meant ladder.

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u/frekan-tv 5d ago

If there is a hole, there is a goal

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u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago edited 5d ago

Usually the goals are above the ground, not in holes. You might be talking about golf maybe?

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u/RedFoxKoala 5d ago

A lesbian couple gave me a Rolex for my birthday, which is nice and all, but I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.

8

u/EssAreMuffin 5d ago

(From home alone) whoooooow, what a hole?!😲

9

u/lordph8 5d ago

What are the sexiest animals on the farm?

"Brown Chicken, Brown Cow."

8

u/idokle Dumbassery 5d ago

Why brown?

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