r/entertainment Nov 28 '22

Jennifer Lopez thought she was 'going to die' after Ben Affleck split.

https://pagesix.com/2022/11/28/jennifer-lopez-thought-she-was-going-to-die-after-ben-affleck-split/
1.6k Upvotes

329 comments sorted by

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274

u/J_House1999 Nov 29 '22

I thought I was gonna die after that as well

39

u/Aleashed Nov 29 '22

Did she die? Did you?

30

u/RussMantooth Nov 29 '22

I thought I was while watching gigli

10

u/Tallzipper Nov 29 '22

Losing Diane must have been hard

2

u/J_House1999 Nov 29 '22

Doggy doggy WHAT now?

EDIT: doggy doggy… what now?…

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245

u/WerewolfNo1166 Nov 29 '22

He cheated with a stripper..he called it off.

303

u/skrillskroll Nov 29 '22

And she married Marc Anthony 6 months later and stayed with him for years. She wrote about that divorce as her most heartbreaking experience in her bio, btw. Then she got engaged to Alex Rodriguez and only broke that off when he cheated on her.

Jlo is doing some myth-building here, erasing all the inconvenient parts to build a saccharine fairy tale.

106

u/SkrullandCrossbones Nov 29 '22

The lies we tell ourselves.

48

u/Dave5876 Nov 29 '22

While we sell scam beauty products to our fans

8

u/__babyslaughter__ Nov 29 '22

Yeah it’s pretty sad. My wife, separated, recently went on some social media tirades about how she thought she had finally found pure happiness only for me to just leave and replace her like she never existed.

Meanwhile, in reality, she was so deeply unhappy with me for years that if I went two weeks without her breaking down out of the blue and refusing to speak to me for a week, I was doing really well. No moment was safe from her deep unhappiness and mistrust of me. Years and years of this with me just begging her to tell me ANYTHING instead of ghosting me. Begging her to stop screaming at me to end it every time she finally started talking to me after her silence. Years of me being kicked out for reasons I’ll never know and she’ll never tell.

I finally broke and ended it, and she acted like it was out of the blue. Spent months crying to my therapist every single week, only for her to hear I was friendly with another woman and now I’ve “replaced her as if she never existed”. Not a day goes by that I don’t feel the loss of her love, which did exist in between her bouts of complete rejection and neglect.

But it’s a nice lie to tell herself that her selfish husband ended it and just needed to replace her.

3

u/DrG73 Nov 30 '22

Sorry buddy. That sucks. I hope you find love with someone who does not have mental health issues. Sure nobody is perfect but you can’t fix someone who is deeply depressed or disturbed. Only they can and most people never do.

14

u/moifauve Nov 29 '22

We tell ourselves stories in order to live

34

u/rebeccamb Nov 29 '22

Idk, I used to have such bad self esteem that I needed to have someone with me. I couldn’t be single. I’d be heartbroken over a guy and move on anyway to try to get over it.

I am happily married to a wonderful guy now. I still have unhealthy ways of dealing with some things but at least im not juggling penis anymore.

10

u/Smitty8054 Nov 29 '22

Were they connected or severed?

Either way that had to have been tough.

3

u/rebeccamb Nov 29 '22

Severed if I was sleeping with one of them. I would text multiple at a time though if I wasn’t sleeping with anyone. And it was exhausting mentally and emotionally

3

u/Smitty8054 Nov 29 '22

Was trying to be a bit funny but that is a tough situation.

Most of us have to have a connection with someone. I too am not doing backflips on some of my choices.

I too found the one. We’re far far from perfect but pretty perfect for each other.

I’m happy you found a good one. Sure is nice just having the right person get you.

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u/dxrebirth Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

Went through a break up with someone I was with for a very long time. Always faithful. Had some issues that I couldn’t figure out how to get out of at the time. I almost, and very unhealthily, started dating someone right away.

I grew up extremely alone and have a ton of PTSD and yes insecurity. Being alone is very hard for me. I’m sure others view my new relationship a different way.

I’m working on myself these days though. It was a huge wake up call overall.

2

u/rebeccamb Nov 29 '22

Same! I never had anyone around from the time that I can remember. My mom is a pretty distant/not motherly person. Her and my step dad worked 3rds and would sleep until I was home from school. I remember getting myself up, fed, ready and walking myself to school in first grade. Parents were awake/home from ~4pm until they left at 7pm. During that time I was usually in the kitchen doing homework and eating dinner while they hung out in the tv room. I loved being alone until I got older, got my first boyfriend and first taste of affection. It was all downhill from there lol. That’s all I lived for, honestly. I don’t know if I was quite a “pick me” but I did put myself in situations that would get the most male attention.

When I met my husband I was at the tail end of a very long relationship with someone I was pretty much obsessed with but he had some personal things ( a sugar daddy, it turns out) and I immediately latched to husband. He was emotionally a little distant in the beginning but thankfully our booty call relationship turned into a real one. I’m still dealing with echos of childhood PTSD, but making huge strides! I struggle with conflict because I feel like I’m going to die if he’s upset with me, kinda like our girl Jlo here.

2

u/Stoicsage86 Nov 30 '22

Wait… you used to be a penis juggler? Is that like Cock magic?

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26

u/N3UROTOXINsRevenge Nov 29 '22

He misses those taco flavored kisses though

14

u/ConnachtTheWolf Nov 29 '22

Taco, taco, burrito burrito

10

u/rebeccamb Nov 29 '22

For my Beeen

4

u/PeetaGryfyndoor Nov 29 '22

You almost make me forget about Tacos

4

u/pack_howitzer Nov 29 '22

S’alright? S’alright.

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57

u/PsychologicalSwim132 Nov 29 '22

Didn't she get married to someone else in like a year after that split?

63

u/skrillskroll Nov 29 '22

Try 6 months. She was married to Marc Anthony by July that year. She wrote about her painful that divorce was in her memoir, believe it or not. She was also engaged to marry Alex Rodriguez and only called it off when he was publicly exposed as a cheat. She's revising history.

28

u/Poetspas Nov 29 '22

Didn’t Marc Anthony die in like 29 BC?

6

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

That’s what the new world order wants you to think. He was slamming J-low a few years ago and Cleopatra was PISSED. The great military industrial complex swooped in to save the day and demolished the Romans and forever protecting Raytheon and Lockheed martins stock price

2

u/Arpikarhu Nov 29 '22

Love transcends even death itself

2

u/Sunswallowedme Nov 29 '22

I think that was Marc Antony

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25

u/fidgetypenguin123 Nov 29 '22

And several other relationships and 2 kids.

20

u/PsychologicalSwim132 Nov 29 '22

Yet she says she had 18 years where she was spiralling and not getting it right! So those men were what?

12

u/Select-Comfort-2014 Nov 29 '22

They were her ,”not getting it right.”Lol

10

u/vl_lv Nov 29 '22

Rebounds

879

u/Canadaaayum Nov 29 '22 Eureka!

Right, whatever you say lady.....so what's she promoting?

446

u/epigenie_986 Nov 29 '22

New album

170

u/m3ngnificient Nov 29 '22

Is it called "I thought I was going to die?"

77

u/bear_sausage Nov 29 '22

“But I didn’t so buy my album.”

69

u/Morbidly-Obese-Emu Nov 29 '22

“I love tacos and burritos”

43

u/Trapdoormonkey Nov 29 '22

Taco taco

56

u/SamFram Nov 29 '22

Taco-flavored kiiiiiiisses

15

u/brickne3 Nov 29 '22

For my Beeeeeen!

3

u/AstrumRimor Nov 29 '22

I am picturing this whole thing perfectly, but my brain refuses to tell me what it’s from lol

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14

u/ayyohh911719 Nov 29 '22

Burrito burrito

5

u/Go-to-helenhunt Nov 29 '22

Mitch Conner!

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13

u/MrBwnrrific Nov 29 '22

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me

3

u/resolutepear Nov 29 '22

Woooah woah woah

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9

u/Impressive-Anon6034 Nov 29 '22

She should try to compete against Mariah Carey with “All I want for Christmas is Ben… Affleck”

9

u/TheFamousHesham Nov 29 '22

Idk but seems like a really terrible marketing gimmick to spend 18 goddamn years carefully plotting and planning an album release.

There are a billion better and easier things she could have done to promote her new work.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

There are a lot of other things she could have done but this is the best one she can use at present. Obviously she didn't bank on setting this up for 18 years but she's using it cause she can, don't be dense.

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46

u/IsraeliDonut Nov 29 '22

Gigli sequel, cinematic universe, and possible multiverse

25

u/Lethenza Nov 29 '22

The Gigliverse

18

u/hahahahahahahaFUCK Nov 29 '22

Gigli Multiverse is a new contender for my band’s upcoming studio album title. The other option is Fran Drescher ASMR

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10

u/sotommy Nov 29 '22

I unironically want that Gigli sequel. I know my taste is shit, but that's my problem

8

u/IsraeliDonut Nov 29 '22

I once stayed at a rental house and the dvd section was so bad that gigli was the only movie I actually heard of

7

u/iwillmuffyou Nov 29 '22

Trying to take us all out with her... nice

3

u/KingoftheMongoose Nov 29 '22

“Murder. Blackmail. Temptation. Redemption. It’s been a busy two decades. And now it’s all connected!”

73

u/New_Fun_1059 Nov 29 '22

She has a new album coming out. Probably that lol

59

u/Canadaaayum Nov 29 '22

Ah, so we can expect more vapid JLow articles & posts for the next couple of weeks....neat

17

u/Tibbles88 Nov 29 '22

Tacos tacos tacos!

Love that southpark

16

u/tekmailer Nov 29 '22

Taco kisses! Taco taco!

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14

u/squirrlycellist Nov 29 '22

Her miracle "only olive oil keeps me young" skincare line.

5

u/United_Blueberry_311 Nov 29 '22

New album, movie coming out in January

5

u/Ok-Sprinklez Nov 29 '22

Wait, did they break up again? )s

23

u/hypnos_surf Nov 29 '22

A highly successful celebrity that can find literally anyone else after moving on from her celebrity partner. Lol, I’m not saying she wasn’t heartbroken, but “going to die” is a bit dramatic considering her position and the fact she never seemed that distressed.

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36

u/Wonton_soup_1989 Nov 29 '22

Right. So Who’s gona sing the vocals on her new album? Cuz Ashanti is no longer available…

17

u/itsfrankgrimesyo Nov 29 '22

Christina Milian has entered the chat.

460

u/FrannyBoBanny23 Nov 29 '22

“It sent me on a spiral for the next 18 years where I just couldn’t get it right.”

Kind of a crappy thing to say about the time period she was married for 10 years (her longest relationship) and had her two only children.

157

u/freelancefikr Nov 29 '22

it just further solidifies how much of a genuine piece of shit she is and how they’re meant for each other

13

u/Get-Degerstromd Nov 29 '22

Whoa. That seems aggressive. I don’t know shit about JLo but I’ve never heard anyone call her a piece of shit.

9

u/Viiibrations Nov 29 '22

Idk anything about her but there’s lots of rumors that she’s an Ellen Degeneres type that tells staff not to look her in the eye etc. Also Ben loves gambling so they go to Vegas a lot and there’s rumors among casino staff that she gets mad at him for tipping too much and will take some of his money back from every table. Not saying this is true but part of why people don’t like her.

3

u/Bgee2632 Nov 29 '22

He’s a drunk and a gambler? Pfff

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u/SmurfsNeverDie Nov 29 '22

Ive heard total regulars say that also when they lost their loved one and father of their children. Make of it what you will. Granted this is likely coming because of her new album but its not something thats out of line to say in my experience. Everyone handles breakups differently.

14

u/FrannyBoBanny23 Nov 29 '22

Oh it’s not her love for the man that I was questioning, although her track record is telling, I hope it works out this time. My issue is with her saying she just couldn’t get it right knowing her kids and ex husband and the world is going to read that. While they may be her honest feelings, they are hurtful words to other people enmeshed in her life.

4

u/SmurfsNeverDie Nov 29 '22

I get that and agree. Some things should be left private. Especially when its involving your own family.

4

u/DueMorning800 Nov 29 '22

I agree. Let’s not forget that Ben spoke about Jen G and how he (I’m paraphrasing now) “had to drink so much to stay in an unhappy marriage to her for the sake of the kids”. Nice thing to say about the mom of your 3 kids, eh? Jen G may or may not be a good person, but she came out of all of this looking like one.

Bennifer = 2 self absorbed peas in a pod - IMO

I read 2 months ago that she kicked him out and laid down a bunch rules, then I read they were already divorcing. Next news feed shows her album and the details about their amazing love story. Sure, whatever, tell me more and I’ll surely believe you…

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u/Esabettie Nov 29 '22

I find so tacky when people call new partners or even old partners in this case, their soulmates when they were already married and had children like this and now Billy Ray Cyrus.

29

u/TheFamousHesham Nov 29 '22

Downvoted.

She’s talking about her lived life experience. While this may feel like her slagging her ex and the father of her children, it’s not. Some people really go about life waiting for that one person they fell for years ago (and, unfortunately, trying to get themselves to forget by dating/marrying other people).

It’s honest. It’s ok.

It describes what a lot of us are like, so please have some empathy when you manage to get off your high horse :)

25

u/FrannyBoBanny23 Nov 29 '22

Her feelings are valid and she may genuinely have felt a hole in her heart for 18 years but when she knows this quote is going to be read by millions of people she should have been more care with her words. Her children are going to read that they were brought into this world during a time their mother felt she couldn’t get it right. It’s not just disrespectful to their father but also to them. They may look back on whatever happy memories they have as a family and be confused about the disconnect of their moms quote.

So my comment does come from a place of empathy…for her children.

11

u/DueMorning800 Nov 29 '22

Yep! I’m sad for their heartbreak and all, but those children should never have to hear about it or have their friends or non-friends know these intimate details about private matters. Celebrities and their kids…

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u/DueMorning800 Nov 29 '22

There are children involved. I agree that our feelings can evolve throughout life, but you have to always remember that disparaging a parent makes the kid feel icky about loving that parent. Divorce is so hard and people watch the grieving partner and we soothe them, but those words never leave the kid’s brains. It is confusing for the kids. Right? I think that’s the issue a lot of us have with this couple.

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u/BlueEyedDinosaur Nov 29 '22

I mean, people DO that but isn’t it rude to share it with the whole world when you have kids with someone else? It’s also just ASKING for trouble, it’s not like they’ve been married 20 years. They just got married five minutes ago.

3

u/tooManyHeadshots Nov 29 '22

Maybe she was shitty to her husband and children, and they’ve always felt like she wasn’t really there for them, and her saying “SHE couldn’t get it right” (not that they weren’t right, or they did anything wrong…. Like she’s admitting she wasn’t good to them) might help them understand why she was a shitty wife/mom/whatever.

I’m not saying that she was, just that maybe that’s how she felt. Like she was going through the motions with them, but really wanted to be doing it with Ben instead. It’s certainly not great, but could be helpful/therapeutic for a shitty parent to admit they were shitty.

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u/winemug89 Nov 29 '22

If I haven't read over and over again that Jlo is actually a huge fucking asshole then maybe I'd feel bad

55

u/Amalfi-state-of-mind Nov 29 '22

I lived a few blocks from where they were going to get married at that original wedding. The media and helicopters were already buzzing when the wedding was cancelled. It was not cancelled because of media attention. That is laughable since no one, outside of a Kardashian, courts more media attention than J-Lo.

The wedding was cancelled, if media reports at the time are to be believed, because Ben had been drinking, gambling and playing with hookers in Vegas. Which seems both believable and like a valid reason to cancel a wedding at the 11th hour.

I’m glad they are happy but re-writing history is her lame attempt at pretending this relationship is some otherworldly thing. I sincerely hope he has his addictions under wraps for good but his track record is not great. She puts a lot of unnecessary pressure and media scrutiny on the relationship with this sort of hype.

6

u/Hot-Roof6572 Nov 29 '22

Gotta find a way to stay relevant

181

u/WontArnett Nov 29 '22

Man, the ten other dudes she’s married and Puffy are going to be pissed.

242

u/D-redditAvenger Nov 29 '22

Instead of having a cynical take, if they really do love each other good for them, I hope they make it.

51

u/LukeMayeshothand Nov 29 '22

Agreed. I’m guilty of talking shit needlessly so in this instance I hope they last until death part then.

46

u/bfhurricane Nov 29 '22

I don’t know much about J. Lo, but Ben is one of the actors I’m rooting for. He just kicked addiction, got married, and is starting his own production studio where he has creative control and apparently won’t take starting roles for anyone else.

Sounds like a new stage in his life where he’s living on his own terms and I’m here for it.

22

u/dashinny Nov 29 '22

I do know that even after they split, J.Lo would be seen multiple times by the paparazzi, going over to his home and helping him get his shit together. She’s a big reason why he’s back together.

37

u/Fish-x-5 Nov 29 '22

Are you sure you’re not talking about Jennifer Garner? Or did they both do this after splitting with him?

19

u/Mumof3gbb Nov 29 '22

It was definitely Jennifer garner. I remember reading about how she visited him often after they split to help him. Wasn’t j lo.

5

u/DueMorning800 Nov 29 '22

That’s what I read as well. She did this even when he was dating other women at the time. Actually, various women throughout a couple of years. Then one day it was JLo’s b-day and he posted a nice comment and next thing they were back together. Who really knows what actually happened? But Jen G was the supporter, year after year, and never trashed him in interviews, not that I recall. She’s been a good example, imo.

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u/confusedquokka Nov 29 '22

Wel he is the father of her kids. Makes sense she’d want to help him.

2

u/Mumof3gbb Nov 29 '22

Ya. For sure.

30

u/Fair-Sky4156 Nov 29 '22

It was Garner. The other girl was too busy with the next few guys to help Ben.

29

u/skrillskroll Nov 29 '22

His first wife, Jennifer Garner, was the one who was spotted helping him find sobriety. She kept doing it even after they divorced which makes her a Saint in my book. He'd been clean for awhile when Jlo came back into the picture.

27

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

[deleted]

12

u/Successful-Gene2572 Nov 29 '22

This is what I thought too.

13

u/Healing_touch Nov 29 '22

that was his ex wife Jennifer Garner.

25

u/bfhurricane Nov 29 '22

Damn. Maybe they are meant to be together.

Can’t wait for the “J. Lo-ves Ben: The Real Story” movie starring Tom Holland and Selena Gomez.

4

u/dashinny Nov 29 '22

No I think zendaya can be a better J.Lo tbh. But that would be a totally sick movie. Much like the other autobiographical ones that recently hit: bohemian rhapsody, king Richard, Al yankovich

5

u/bfhurricane Nov 29 '22

I was going to say Zendaya lmao, but I figured that would be too on the nose with their Spider-Man roles. And aren’t they a couple in real life? Or am I thinking of another young celebrity duo?

6

u/dashinny Nov 29 '22

Yup they’re like the new hit celebrity couple of the decade. Also another reason why they would be great casted together, although Tom doesn’t have a deep enough voice to be Ben.. And the hair. I think that kid from dune could work though

4

u/SaintMosquito Nov 29 '22

Both way too dainty lol. Ben is like 6’4” and big boned.

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u/Jahidinginvt Nov 29 '22

I’ve gotta say, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her happier than she’s been with him. Him either. They compliment each other well.

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u/hemidak Nov 29 '22

Good for them. I hope they are happy. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Between the two they have more than enough to never work again.

9

u/krys2lcer Nov 29 '22

Did they ever really tho?

71

u/Rimurooooo Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

Ben affleck did for sure. Dude started off working doing childrens shows in Mexico when he was a kid which is why he speaks better Spanish than Jlo. His parents were educated… think his mom graduated from Harvard but dad was unemployed. So he might have started from upper middle class, but he most definitely is not a product of nepotism. He and his family worked hard for his success.

After looking into it, Jennifer Lopez worked for her success, too. Her parents are not from the mainland, she had no connections here. They both are surprisingly self made, with a little push from their parents.

13

u/bfhurricane Nov 29 '22

American dream (non-sarcastic). Makes me smile when I hear these stories.

4

u/quietimhungover Nov 29 '22

That is a fact (I hope) I am very surprised to hear about both of them actually struggling to make it. Also I find it hilarious that he speaks Spanish better than she does.

5

u/Rimurooooo Nov 29 '22

You can see the transformation, too. His early interviews in Spanish were proficient, but his daughter started to learn Spanish to a high level also, so he started to brush up on it and (I’m assuming) do accent reduction classes, because now he has a Tijuana accent.

Jlo on the other hand spoke Spanish growing up and then gave it up, she has a carribbean accent but has forgotten a lot of it. It’s funny to watch his earlier interviews with him getting through them better than Jlo with his gringo accent.

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u/GabJ78 Nov 29 '22

Is not about the money darling

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u/hithereimross Nov 29 '22

Technically… she is correct.

5

u/MutedLayer4564 Nov 29 '22

it's turkey time gobble gobble

6

u/LongjumpingAd9719 Nov 29 '22

They deserve each other.

6

u/freshnews66 Nov 29 '22

This just in.. breaking up is hard to do.

17

u/Mystical_Cat Nov 29 '22

That’s a shame.

Anyway, I’m thinking Indian for dinner.

36

u/shenanigansco34 Nov 29 '22

She’s so dramatic. She moved on quickly as usual. Everyone is her soul mate.

-5

u/TheFamousHesham Nov 29 '22

You sound like… a really bitter person (and so does anyone who upvoted your bitter comment).

The end of a relationship is a traumatic time for everyone, including a famous celebrity. Heartbreak hurts… and we all heal differently. Some people heal by moving on “quickly….” Is it the best way? Probably not.

There is no best way. We’re all kind of trying to find our way through life and make sense of our pain. I’m sorry if these ideas and feelings confuse you.

2

u/shenanigansco34 Nov 29 '22

If you hop from dick to dick just say so.

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u/mustbeme87 Nov 29 '22

Her solution was to continue to steal peoples music.

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u/LookingForEquanimity Nov 29 '22

Celebrities. *They’re just like us *

4

u/cuteemogirlfriend Nov 29 '22

Hmm... I see a lot of people gatekeeping feelings, here.

123

u/Mr_RobotNick Nov 29 '22 Take My Energy

Ben misses those taco flavored kisses

47

u/MissSassifras1977 Nov 29 '22

Somewhere J. Lo's eye just ticked. And I love it.

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u/Buffaluffasaurus Nov 29 '22

I love you Been, you almost make me forget about… TACOS.

52

u/plausibleturtle Nov 29 '22

Taco taco! Burrito burrito!

41

u/iwillmuffyou Nov 29 '22

I will grant your weeshes with my taco flavored keeses

3

u/Free_Hat_McCullough Nov 29 '22

How the fuck did I end up working at a La Taco?

2

u/cookiemonster247 Nov 29 '22

I eat tacos I eat burritos

8

u/bacon_bunny33 Nov 29 '22

I forgot about that and it literally made me laugh while drinking my cocktail.

4

u/AugustWest7120 Nov 29 '22

Yummy yummy yummy gimme more!

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u/ineededthistoo Nov 29 '22

Hate to break it to her, but she shouldn’t count on that “happily ever after” with Affleck….

5

u/hotmasalachai Nov 29 '22

Or considering her track record

38

u/ClownfishSoup Nov 29 '22

Ugh, that sucks she went through all that heartbreak only to reconnect 17 years later.

15

u/No_Significance_1550 Nov 29 '22

She seemed pretty happy with A-Rod though. Is this her 3rd or 4th marriage?

15

u/Crankylosaurus Nov 29 '22

4th- previously married to Ojani Noa, Cris Judd, and Marc Anthony

11

u/AudaciousCheese Nov 29 '22

The husband of cleopatra Marc Antony?

12

u/WakeNikis Nov 29 '22 Take My Energy

Actually, yes.

25

u/hypocritical-bastard Nov 29 '22

And go through it again, she never settles down with one dude for long

6

u/GabJ78 Nov 29 '22

All that heartbreak and all those other engagements and failed marriages. Please, how can you feel bad for her???

17

u/Miffers Nov 29 '22

I remembered the time I thought I was going to die when I had the biggest shit coming out ripping my hemorrhoids.

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u/1Originalmind Nov 29 '22

He always looks so miserable

3

u/Joejoker1st Nov 29 '22

Coffee and cigarette breath is very addictive

3

u/lost-little-boy Nov 29 '22

Hold up a sec, you’re telling me Ben Affleck /split/? So now there’s two of him?

2

u/hotmasalachai Nov 29 '22

Hehehehehehhehe you’re a lost little boy. Go back to sleep

3

u/sghokie Nov 29 '22

Who’s j lo marrying this week?

Ah Ben Afflek, do I even need a reason?

3

u/Dont_Be_Sheep Nov 29 '22

Wait after which split? Did they split again?

3

u/Standard_Ad9911 Nov 29 '22

How was she dying

3

u/Azz413 Nov 29 '22

She took an awful lot of dick for someone who “was going to die”. I guess that’s where we differ….

3

u/Perfect_Opposite2113 Nov 29 '22

If Pete Davidson was around back then she would’ve gotten over it quicker.

18

u/ebbtideisalive Nov 29 '22

You guys, J Lo had to feel depressed like a peasant! Thoughts and prayers.

8

u/Chalky_Cupcake Nov 29 '22

Was just reading about this in the latest issue of SoWhat magazine.

6

u/fidgetypenguin123 Nov 29 '22

Funny I read another version in Yawn magazine and Who Gives A Sh*t magazine. It definitely made the rounds.

17

u/LightningDustt Nov 29 '22

J.Lo thinks She's going to die whenever she has to leave a tip. Fuck this rich entitled jerk.

7

u/RollTideLucy Nov 29 '22

Maybe she needs to focus on her kids for once. Becoming as nauseating as the Kartrashians.

5

u/hiroller83 Nov 29 '22

Hey now she’s been through a lot… of dick

2

u/dumpweed304 Nov 29 '22

And she will eventually

2

u/peter_marxxx Nov 29 '22

I'm sure there will be another one, Jenn...what will you do then?

2

u/hobokobo1028 Nov 29 '22

Well she didn’t die before they split so r/technicallycorrect

2

u/Lord___Enzo Nov 29 '22

Oh, I think she was doing fine. She made how many shitty movies in that time?

8

u/SirOk5108 Nov 29 '22

Well how's she going to take this new breakup n divorce coming?

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u/madleyJo Nov 29 '22

Henifer lllopez eats tacos y burritos and gives her Been taco keeses…

4

u/littleMAS Nov 29 '22

A great performer, I remember her from Living Color and movies like Selena and The Cell, but as time went by she seemed somewhat fixated on marriage, either in her films such as The Wedding Planner, Maid in Manhattan, or Marry Me, or in her real life with Ojani Noa, Cris Judd, Marc Anthony, and Ben Affleck.

3

u/itsfrankgrimesyo Nov 29 '22

Lol this isn’t some fairytale ending, just 2 washed up desperate actors who got together out of familiarity and to stay relevant. He is who he is and she is who she is, I give them another year.

3

u/lenchoreddit Nov 29 '22

She sure got over it many, many times

4

u/Specialist_Peach4294 Nov 29 '22

Never say never, when it comes to these two.

Their love burns as hot as a match flame, and lasts just as long.

4

u/Fine-Loquat Nov 29 '22

That heartbroken over the sentient shart that is Ben Affleck? Get a clue, JLo! Should’ve stayed with Cris Judd, the only good guy she’s ever been with. ETA: sentient shart and worst Batman EVER

2

u/eliz1bef Nov 29 '22

Is that you, Cris?

2

u/Fine-Loquat Nov 29 '22

Nope, just a huge Affleck-hater!!

4

u/IntrepidCase Nov 29 '22

JLo doesn’t know how to be alone. Do some soul searching before you get married after this one

4

u/royalton57 Nov 29 '22

I can’t stand her. Married, engaged umpteen dozen times. That marriage will never last

3

u/james5731 Nov 29 '22

They can go both suck eggs as far as I care. She gets by because of her ass he gets by because he is an ass.

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u/krys2lcer Nov 29 '22

Hence the truly classic heartfelt song tacos y burritos.

1

u/GabJ78 Nov 29 '22

You do know she is Puerto Rican, right?

5

u/krys2lcer Nov 29 '22

No tacos or burritos in puueerto Rico?

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u/Sokobanky Nov 29 '22

She will. She just hasn’t given it enough time yet.

2

u/ilovestampfairtex Nov 29 '22

What’s she gonna do when they split up again within 6 months

2

u/ronnysmom Nov 29 '22

Maybe she makes each of her relationships work by believing that those people are her ultimate soulmate and she might die if they breakup. That might be her way of relating to her current partner, which is fine as long as she doesn’t go on a PR blitz each time she found her soulmate! Puff Daddy and Mark Anthony are not going to be pleased (I don’t know the names of her other exes).

2

u/kemckai Nov 29 '22

Hey mr dj. Will she sell her mediocre records at Kohls next to ex husband’s wares?

2

u/TheCubanRattlesnake Nov 29 '22

Would that it were so simple

2

u/PopTartAfficionado Nov 29 '22

i'm rooting for them. unlike the rest of you haters apparently lol. go watch the j lo documentary on netflix btw, it's great.

1

u/GenXerHere Nov 29 '22

Who. Fucking. Cares.

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u/Rogue_Squadron Nov 29 '22

Of course leaving him was painful. She lost her easy access to the painkillers.

2

u/joe801323 Nov 29 '22

As long as she has a dick inside her she will be ok

-8

u/10projo Nov 29 '22

Whooooooooo caressssss!!!!!!! Horrible actress and singer. Bananas are more appealing than she is

2

u/Dimple_from_YA Nov 29 '22

Especially the peanut butter jelly time banana

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