r/gaming
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u/Skjolbir
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10d ago
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Gollum is meme template gold. They literally shipped with Calibri as the font lmao
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u/mumblewulf 10d ago
That’s why I’m getting stressed reading that. It’s the default font of my work outlook email lol
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u/daibot 10d ago
I hate calibri because all my team's reports are in it.
It was a solid workmanlike font many,many reports ago.
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u/NotaBonesaw 10d ago
Arial 10 gang. What's up?
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u/JonMeadows 10d ago
Ay I’m more of an oddball and rock arial 11. Not quite fully committed and not too mainstream either.
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u/VOZ1 10d ago
I’m a fan of Tahoma these days. Though I think the reality is, whatever font we use at work, will become irrevocably sullied eventually.
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u/CorruptDropbear 10d ago
I'm the snobbish asshole that downloads Atkinson Hyperlegible and refuses to use anything else.
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u/goteamgaz 10d ago
I remember when all work emails were Arial and I was like “nuh uh, not me Grandad, mine are set to Calibri cause I’m hip and cool” now they’ve changed what hip and cool is and I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was.
Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems weird and scary to me…
and it'll happen to you, too
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u/Plantar-Aspect-Sage 10d ago
Arial for the win. Easy to read. Not offensively professional, but not too casual either.
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u/bossrabbit PC 10d ago edited 10d ago
Arial is in my rotation, Palatino and Tahoma deserve love too. Personally I use Tahoma only on screen, Palatino works a bit better on paper, and Arial works for both.
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u/Rocketeer1019 Xbox 10d ago
Damn I was wondering why font matters but okay damn that explains it
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u/BruceWayyyne 10d ago
Calibri is the default font for most (all?) Microsoft Office software.
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u/Obliviousobi 10d ago
It's the official Microsoft font, but they're trying to find the next one.
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u/Ashenspire 10d ago
Tenorite and Bierstadt are the only two worth considering.
The a in Seaford disqualifies it immediately, as does the G in Grandview. Skeena has too much font weight differences within the individual letters.
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u/Pollylocks 10d ago
Hahah. Font absolutely makes a difference!
- graphic designer
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u/the_dayman 10d ago
I like how the text about Orc helmets was a glitch that freezes on your screen until you restart.
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u/nogoodgreen 10d ago
This is a Lord of the Rings game we talking about.
The Two Towers and Return of the King were some of the best PS2 games I ever played. LOTR Conquest was just a reskinned Battlefront still pretty fun. War of the Ring and Battle for Middle Earth were decent RTS titles for the PC. Shadow of Mordor was great and had a unique gameplay loop.
2023 and this turd drops into our lap. What happened.
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u/ed57ve 10d ago
Man battle for middle earth was great and I miss that game (I know there are some active subs for thlse two games)
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u/Not_My_Emperor 10d ago
If you want to play them again go to the sidebar in r/bfme, you can get 1, 2, and the Rise of the Witch King there. R/bfme2 was pretty much deprecated
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u/PizzaGamecube 10d ago
I didn’t even have any interest in the game, yet it’s extremely poor quality still pisses me off in a way not many games do. Like, who looked at this game and thought it was good enough to release, let alone at a premium price?
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u/ItsDaniel2650 10d ago
It’s wild. The developer who made it was also a weird choice, considering they are best known for point and click games.
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u/MysteriousResolve249 10d ago
It’s such a stupid concept. “Hey guys we have an opportunity to make a game based off the lord of the rings ip, what should we make, a high quality rpg, large scale battle game, adventure game, story driven game?” “Oh I got it, let’s make a game where you’re just gollum” like wtf
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u/alphafire616 10d ago
It definitely feels like it wasn't meant to be LOTR but then they were forced to make it on a low budget
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u/atuck217 10d ago
I saw it described this way in SkillUps review. He said the first half of the game just doesn't work as being Gollum like at all. He said that the situations and objectives you have feel like they were designed for someone else entirely then they shoved Gollum in it.
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u/Wolfgang_Maximus 10d ago
There's so much various media that would've been so much better if they weren't co-opted by having to have a big name behind it by the bigwigs. Video games are the same. I'm still pissed about Crash of the Titans/Mind Over Mutant where it's obviously another game with Crash Bandicoot slapped on it, ruining a classic franchise as well as making a worse product that could've potentially been at least a unique concept. There are too many sequel games and franchise tie-ins out there. I'm waiting for new stuff.
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u/Graviton_Lancelot 10d ago
As a fan of LotR, it's crazy to me because Gollum's whole thing is being a scuzzy little fuck for the three phases of his life. First, kill your cousin cause you want the shiny. Second, slither under a mountain and eat cave fish and goblins for a couple hundred years. Third, the events of the books.
Out of all the characters and events in the legendarium, this is what you choose? Fuck me, just make a fantasy A/RPG game, slap Tolkienian coding on everything, and call it a day. It could be fuckin mad libs, but no, everyone running LotR media since the mid-2000s has been an idiot.
You're a Dúnedan Ranger in the year SA1998 tasked with defending the Shire. All is normal until an evil Orc chieftain threatens your borders.
Have a decent art style and passably good gameplay, sprinkle some lore references on, and bing bang boom, you're good to go.
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u/peteroh9 10d ago
Ah yes, the descendants of the Numenoreans 1300 years before Numenor's downfall guarding the Shire 3100 years before its founding.
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u/FizixMan 10d ago
It's like Super Mario Bros 2/Doki Doki Panic all over again.
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u/lalakingmalibog 10d ago
At least we got Birdo out of SMB2.
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u/Torint 10d ago
For context, SkillUp only played the first half of the game, which makes this post even funnier.
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u/ExtremeGayMidgetPorn 10d ago
Ngl as a concept I think it's pretty funny to be Gollum, but I haven't looked into it at all to see how they executed anything.
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u/matlynar 10d ago
I find it easier to believe that a better team could surprise us with a decent, fun Gollum game than to believe that the team who brought us this game could give us a masterpiece if only they had a better concept to work with.
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u/radishboy 10d ago
Might be kinda fun to play a Gollum game where you’re just a nasty lil bastard going goblin mode in a pie factory or whatever the fuck; I don’t even know but anything’s gotta be better than bird husbandry.
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u/ThadVonP 10d ago
Metal Gollum Solid Tactical Espionage Action could work.
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u/Response404 10d ago
Oh man! Otacon calls would just be Gollum talking to himself!
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u/Lawbringer7 10d ago
I’m cracking up just thinking of the Otacon sound then Gollum and Sméagol talking on the comms.
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u/johnny-faux 10d ago
Check out divide and conquer total war if you want large scale battles in the lotr universe. It’s a submod made by a dedicated team of fans and one of those rare instances where a fan makes a better game than developers can. It has battles with thousands of units. It has building out your empire and cities. And so much Fucking detail and depth. It is truly amazing. About 17 factions i think. One of the best games I’ve ever played and its a goddamn mod.
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u/shit_poster9000 10d ago
Not even that, it’s like they threw darts to determine who would be the main character for the game and just ad lobbed the rest.
Like who the fuck thinks of Sméagol and thinks “wonky parkour, puzzles, shitty follower mechanics, and palace intrigue”? It looking like crap and running even worse is just the dog turd on top
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u/Marklar64 10d ago
New game coming soon, The Lord of the Rings: the Moth
Moth: "What is my purpose?" Gandalf: "You fetch Eagles"
{eagle screech} Gandalf: "Thank yoouu..."
-Credits Screen-
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u/grendus 10d ago
Smeagol parkour could be fun. Parkour games are a badly underserved niche.
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u/shit_poster9000 10d ago
Parkouring your way out of Baradur would have been neat but instead you waste so much time doing bland fetch quests, awkward puzzles and rear a baby bird while trying to play kissup to the overseer
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u/_SGP_ 10d ago
But even then it's not, it's a game where you do chores, order around braindead NPCs and hatch and care for bird companions.
That does not sound very Gollum.
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u/ghengiscostanza 10d ago
I keep flip flopping on this game. From the start I had no interest in the concept. Then I saw the shitty art memes and actually became interested in the idea of the Smeagol gollum system where you’re in his head, I’m always intrigued by the sadness of gollum’s character he’s cute in his way and gets a lot of pity out of me and tugs at my heart. But then it sounded like the gameplay is awful so not worth even trying to experience that odd sadness. But now you mentioned hatching and caring for bird companions is a big part of gameplay and while out of left field for gollum that unironically sounds like a game I would play, caring for birds. Now I’m imagining a stardew valley like game where you just raise birds, and you happen to inexplicably be gollum from LotR.
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u/AshyLarry25 10d ago
I’m not familiar with lord of the rings at all, what’s wrong with with concept of playing as gollum?
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u/scoobydoom2 10d ago
The character's story is that he pretty much spent his entire existence hiding out in a cave. He's relevant because during that time, he had the one ring, the super powerful evil artifact that the primary story is based around, and his character is a major part of showing the corruptive capabilities of the ring, and he has a very major role towards the end of the story, but outside of that there isn't a whole lot. He goes looking for the ring, gets captured and tortured, freed, goes looking for the ring again, and eventually stalks the fellowship until he makes an unsuccessful move to get the ring back. Either the game is set where he's just hiding from goblins in a cave the whole time, or where he's wandering around aimlessly with a short break to get tortured, neither of which exactly make for a decent game.
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u/sockswithtoesinthem 10d ago
unsuccessful
He does, in fact, get the ring back.
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u/scoobydoom2 10d ago
I was referring to the first ambush with frodo where he is forced to make the oath as the end of that part of the story, but technically later yes.
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u/ChampaBayLightning 10d ago
Either the game is set where he's just hiding from goblins in a cave the whole time, or where he's wandering around aimlessly with a short break to get tortured, neither of which exactly make for a decent game.
Per the SkillUp review, at least half the game is about Gollum locked in the dungeons doing chores and raising a bird. So maybe not what we expected but still weird and bad.
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u/Mrhood714 10d ago
it could be cool i guess but the game fucks everything up. Dude literally eats birds and fishes raw and for whatever reason, while in prison and i'm sure starving, he makes a pet bird which realistically he would just eat.
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u/redundantposts 10d ago
It’s depressing. When it was first announced, I was so excited for a new lord of the rings game. But every piece of information about it let me down more and more. Then the final product is this? I’m glad it’s getting the negative press that it is. The quality of games has been getting passed through more and more. Hopefully there’s a drastic change soon.
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u/HomoLiberus 10d ago edited 10d ago
Were they high when they designed his character? Lmao
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u/tinyhorsesinmytea 10d ago
I know he’s not supposed to be a beautiful character but surely they could have done something to not make him so unappealing.
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u/avwitcher 10d ago
Like literally just copy the design from the movies, Shadow of Mordor did it.
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u/BitchesGetStitches 10d ago
This is drunk work
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u/HotFluffyDiarrhea 10d ago
This is sober work, dull and lifeless, grinding for a paycheck on some shit you don't care about.
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u/Smokin-Still-Tokin 10d ago
The E.T. of our generation.... here comes more mobile games.
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u/ScruffMixHaha 10d ago
Thankfully Gollum has little to no physical copies so it doesnt take up space in a landfill
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u/SkullFace45 10d ago
Imagine having the rights to Tolkien's universe, you can chose to make whatever game you like... And you chose this.
I. Just. Can't. Even.
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u/GwentMorty 10d ago
My dude is rolling in his grave rn for sure. Imagine checking in after passing to see what humanity has done with the world you created and then seeing this. Like wtf, put some respec on his name.
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u/HugeAnalBeads 10d ago
He already went back to sleep after watching the first two episodes of Rings of Power
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u/mattenthehat 10d ago
It just occurred to me that The Hobbit was published in 1937 and should totally be public domain by now. Imagine how cool that could be. Fuck you, Disney.
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u/KolbStomp 10d ago
Copyright is held from the creators death + 70 years not the creation of a work so it would not be public domain yet
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u/East-Chemical4957 10d ago
It looks like he's struggling to poop
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u/TheW83 10d ago
Or maybe already did. That's a shart face if I've ever seen one.
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u/DanSanderman 10d ago
I've seen this image and the DLC structure get roasted, but nothing else about the game. Is the game itself also bad, or is it just the internet running away with things again?
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u/logicalnoise 10d ago
Game is bad. There's a full playthrough on youtube. It is embarrassingly bad.
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u/Avoiding101519 10d ago
Damn it was a unique idea I was gonna excited for :(
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u/logicalnoise 10d ago
Try the Styx games. Another fantasy based stealth game series where you play a very Gollum like character.
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u/Slavocracy 10d ago
Styx isn't gollum like. He's a goblin with a gruff exterior. But he's a capable fighter and Styx at least has some combat.
This shit is just bitch simulator 2023.
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u/King_Reptar_ 10d ago
My ex-wife speed ran that game.
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u/TjBeezy 10d ago
I saw it had lower scores than redfall. I think it's the lowest rating game of 2023 so far.
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u/dolphin37 10d ago
Redfall devs wiping sweat off their brow, sending messages of thanks to Gollum team
If we assume either game even had devs and aren’t just the products of AI in its early stages
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u/BreathBandit 10d ago
I think Redfall is still more damaging. Nobody really expected this to be good, it was a meh idea coming from a pretty unknown studio.
But Redfall was by Arkane, the guys who made 3 Dishonoured games, Prey, Wolfenstein Young Blood and Deathloop. They had pedigree, and then they released Redfall which is just an absolute disastrous shit pile. Suddenly Arkane aren't safe hands anymore, that consistent quality is no longer assured.
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u/Blackbirds21 10d ago
If you care to find out, Skillup’s video makes it seem baaaaaaad for $60 or even like $15 on sale. No touching this game
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u/BrotherhoodOfStyle 10d ago
Hilariously bad. Like the concept was already terrible but somehow the excecution is even worse.
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u/bob0979 10d ago
It's a prisoner sim that's actually shitty platforming coupled with political intrigue. Somehow worse than I could have imagined.
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u/GordogJ 10d ago
I think so, no reviewer I've seen has made it that far because its so bad, but it was mentioned.
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u/bob0979 10d ago
Yeah, presumably the second half of the game includes some form of journeying across mordor to hide in caves but I have yet to come across any footage because it may still be completely unplayed by anyone anywhere.
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u/Jwishh 10d ago
And there’s a crazy amount of glitches that lock you out of continuing without resetting the level
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u/busterknows 10d ago
Yes, but then Gollum gets to Moria and can’t open a door and the game ends. I wish I was kidding
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u/Tankdrood 10d ago
Gameplay is bad, story is bad, graphics are bad, optimization is bad. Literally has no redeeming qualities lol. Somehow worse than Redfall (debatably)
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u/RandyDinglefart 10d ago
I've seen a dozen memes today and I have no idea what game this is even referencing.
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u/Cow_Interesting 10d ago
Is that actually in game gollum? Cause if so, hooooly sheeeiiit is that horrible. It’s so much worse than I imagined even from the terrible reviews.
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u/ClearChocobo 10d ago
Yes, and believe it or not, that's just the tip of the shitsberg. The whole game looks muddy. Animations are missing or just left out. The game genuinely looks like a bargain bin PS2/PS3 game.
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u/llbsidezll 10d ago
Is his hair just a 2d texture painted on? What year is this?
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u/HereForTheFood4 10d ago
I know people shit on games a lot recently for a lot of dumb stuff, but are we going to see another video game market crash?
These companies put out complete garbage and milk the shit out of its monetization techniques.
It's no wonder why classic video gaming is making a comeback.
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u/MysteriousB 10d ago
There are so many game companies, one shitty game, or the plethora of shitty games out there isn't going to cause a crash.
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u/Dvoraxx 10d ago
we’re getting absolute classics amid the crap. video games aren’t dead, there’s just a lot more bad ones than before
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u/AuntGentleman 10d ago
Nah bro there were legions of garbage games before too. We just hear about the truly awful ones more readily because of Reddit, YouTube, gaming media.
If you follow the scene the awful ones make big noise.
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u/DanieIIll 10d ago
I’ve just got a switch and fuck me, half of nintendos games remind me buying games when I was a kid. A full experience with no bullshit. As a fighting game fan, it’s a dream right now playing smash bros and unlocking all the characters instead of having 50% of the roster DLC (I know there is some DLC but it’s not egregious).
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u/HereForTheFood4 10d ago
Nintendo gets a lot of hate but that's why I have a switch. Good games on well known franchises with no bullshit.
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u/DanieIIll 10d ago
I’m super late to breath of the wild, but how fucking good is that game?! I’ve only had the feeling I got with that game twice in the last decade and that’s with Witcher 3 and Elden Ring. I’m really blown away by how good it actually is.
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u/matlynar 10d ago
Tears of The Kingdom is a pretty solid Breath of The Wild 2, so you'll probably want to play it after you finish BotW.
It feels like Breath of The Wild enough to be familiar but has just enough new mechanics to give you a novel experience.
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u/Candy_Warlock 10d ago
I haven't gotten a chance to play it yet, but after you finish that I've heard Tears of the Kingdom is even better
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u/koumus 10d ago
Nintendo does lots of things wrong, such as online play and copyrights, but man, no one can say they don't know how to make good games. The Switch has a strong lineup and the release of TOTK this month was probably the strongest game release of the entire year, easily the best GOTY contender for 2023.
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u/MessiahPrinny 10d ago
No, because the market is exponentially larger and more diverse than it was in 83. If gaming was still just a niche market with groups of programmers shitting out any old half baked idea then yeah. But we have many different audiences playing all kinds of games and not all of them are busted. Things only look bad if you look at AAA core games.
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u/curious_dead 10d ago
Ehhh, in the grand scheme of things Gollum is a blip. It was a small company taking a project too big for it.
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u/IrrelevantLeprechaun 10d ago
Indie games are better than ever. Just because AAA gaming is bad doesn't mean everything is.
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u/DanieIIll 10d ago
Agreed man, Hades is one of my all time faves and if I’m honest I’ve only started playing indies in the last years or so. Really enjoyed Dead Cells too and I have Children of Morta and Hollow knight in my queue!
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u/marniconuke 10d ago
Hollow knight
You are going to have a blast, i paid so little for that game and it kept getting better and better. There's a reason there's a very big community behind it now.
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u/rattlemebones 10d ago
We desperately need a video game crash like the 80s. Clear out these trash devs and publishers.
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u/sirfannypack 10d ago
I’ll be that guy and say is spelled Orc, it is only Ork in the Warhammer universe as far as I know.
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u/jordo2460 10d ago
Guys please stop comparing this to Xbox 360/PS3 graphics. There is games on on the OG Xbox and PS2 that look better than this.
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u/Particular-Season905 10d ago
I cannot believe this released as a full price £50 game. The devs must know its not good and yet they still released it at full price. Wtf. Too many times this kind of thing has happened recently
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u/Captain_Fartbox 10d ago
What's wrong with Calibri?
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u/Qfwfq_on_the_Shore52 10d ago
It's the default font for outlook email, so people associate it with early aughts work computing than they do with third age Middle Earth.
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u/terp_raider 10d ago
I feel horrible for the devs. Like imagine working on something you know you individually have no chance of saving and just seeing your work over the last few years being completely torn apart
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u/KaedrX 10d ago
Next Gen is here