r/mildlyinfuriating Nov 29 '22 Are You Serious? 1 Silver 3 Helpful 2 Wholesome 2 Wait What? 1 I am disappoint 1

The first time I went by myself. Today I took my husband with me. Spot the difference.

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114.5k Upvotes

7.9k comments sorted by

444

u/arckyart Nov 29 '22

One time I brought the car in for snow tires and on the way out of the shop, the owner, blocking the door, hugged me and kissed me on the forehead and said “thanks so much sweetie.”

This can’t be explained away by cultural differences, he was a white dude. He was treating me, a 30 year old at the time in such a patronizing and inappropriate way.

I later found a great mechanic that not only made me feel comfortable, he actually took the time to explain everything he did and that needs doing in simple detail without making me feel like a moron or a child. It was such a positive experience, I actually cried a few happy tears after I left, because it’s always been so intimidating to maintenance the car in these spaces.

153

u/BigDaddyDIOsama Nov 30 '22

What in the goddamn fuck? Should have kneed that dude in the balls and ran, that’s absolutely atrocious behavior 💀

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u/FelonyGrapes Nov 29 '22

Lmao wait... They're hand-typing these messages out instead of automating them? Recipe for disaster

839

u/JustABigDumbAnimal Nov 29 '22

I thought that was odd, too. Even barring shit like OP, it's just asking for the messages to be riddled with typos which just makes the company look incompetent.

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u/blackairforceuno Nov 29 '22

I dont understand people. why can't we keep things professional? This same thing happens when my girlfriend goes to get an oil change by herself

543

u/mineset Nov 29 '22

This was definitely less forward but I ordered Doordash recently for me & my gf, and usually I’m in my chair closer to the door so I’m the one to grab deliveries, but this time I was in the restroom when it arrived so my gf steps out to grab it, I hear her thank the delivery guy & I can see out the window he’s a much older dude getting in his car…not even a minute later I get a text message from the same # / same thread as the delivery confirmation saying ‘hey…don’t I know you?’ & idk just made me feel really weird. Like no we don’t know you & it might have been as innocent as could be but then it really got to me how often little things like that happen & how you have to always err on the side of caution & definitely opened my eyes a bit to what my gf & others deal with every day

224

u/ADD-DDS Nov 30 '22

You should report this kind of behavior. There is no reason to contact a customer except about an order. You are correct in finding this weird.

79

u/ChaosToTheFly123 Nov 30 '22

My DoorDash is set to leave at door. I haven’t interacted with a delivery guy since Covid

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u/DependentYou7405 Nov 30 '22

I would have responded "Yeah we get Doordash all the time"

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u/VonFluffington Nov 29 '22 Helpful

Post that shit on Google reviews.

8.9k

u/sciencemint Nov 29 '22

Thanks I did

4.3k

u/notthepig Nov 29 '22

Hello gorgeous (is your husband around?)

1.4k

u/Pelverino Nov 29 '22

Name doesn't check out

603

u/tundoopani Nov 29 '22

Plot twist: he's thirsting for the husband

160

u/ziggyziggystardust Nov 29 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome

17

u/Slice_N_Die Nov 30 '22

Well that was weird, and now I want an obscure gummy Candy I’d never heard of 10 mins ago

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u/FireWaterSquaw Nov 29 '22 Helpful

“Car was not cleaned as good when I took husband with me and my notification was not personalized: lack of consistent service. In the future husband stay home.”

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u/---Sanguine--- Nov 29 '22

“Was no longer called gorgeous when I came with my husband. 1/5 stars” Lol jokes aside that’s so inappropriate to talk to customers like that

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u/bitsplease- Nov 29 '22

Less importantly, but still baffling, who thinks this would work to pick up women??

"oh my a stranger texted that I'm gorgeous through the car wash notifications, I'll just slip these panties off before I head over" lol

81

u/kamikaze_pedestrian Nov 29 '22

My friend had to go into the store to fix something with her phone. Later the guy who had been helping her texted her privately to flirt and ask her out. He used his access to her phone account to flirt. Her address was listed. If he were any more of a creep he couldve easily decided to stalk her or something.

Similar thing happened to a classmate who's banker was going into her account to look up her number and email to talk to her. He didnt even get fired when she complained (despite her being one of several girls complaining about him), they just moved him elsewhere. That's Wellsfargo for ya.

21

u/HOLY_GOOF Nov 29 '22

At least she meant to be a customer. Wells Fargo made my account without even asking!

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

[deleted]

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u/Altane_GS Nov 29 '22

Good of you to go back there after the first message

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u/Lexi_Banner Nov 29 '22

Yeah, as fucking if I'd ever take my car back to that place without having raised hell with their management.

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u/NoodleSpooner Nov 29 '22

On our way back from the beach this summer, we stopped at a Wendy’s. Our ticket showed my name as “Pretty With No Smile.”

5.9k

u/whitgotwit Nov 29 '22

the fuck? Sir, this is a Wendy’s

2.3k

u/1nfuhmu5 Nov 29 '22

"Excuse me ma'am, you dropped your smile"

Someone told my wife that, on our honey moon. Sounded smooth to me at the time

2.7k

u/Ourobius Nov 29 '22 Bravo!

"Excuse me ma'am, you dropped your smile"

"Yeah, right when I saw you."

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u/Letmefixthatforyouyo Nov 29 '22

Except women get told to "smile" all the time by rude men who think that women exist to please them.

425

u/houseofLEAVEPLEASE Nov 29 '22

Had an ex-boss say this to me daily. He was a great boss besides, and a genuinely nice dude. After I started responding with “about what?” he cut it out.

234

u/Byrktr1 Nov 29 '22

Yeah. Smile more and put a smile in your voice when answering the phone. Also different kids: fired for refusing to date the boss, Supervisor thought he had a right to pull my comb out of my back pocket and then later brushed some imaginary dirt off my breast. (I worked construction and I grabbed his hand and wrested fingers backwards until he yelped—told him next time I break them…I was very strong when I was young).

Third time, boss grabbed me and kissed me… I shoved him away and threatened his job.

It’s dangerous working when you have boobs.

73

u/zerotakashi Nov 29 '22

'women don't go into trades because they are physically incapable of physical tasks'

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u/Stephanfritzel Nov 29 '22

This! Tbh I smile often, so rarely hear the comment. I used to be a ward clerk at a hospital (sit a the nurses' station, answer the phone, admit/discharge patients, etc). Had a creepy patient come up to the desk and tell me I should smile. He got a death glare instead.

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u/ItsNotAToughDecision Nov 29 '22

This! I was at work the other day (manager at a large retailer) and I was doing some remedial shit. Some olderish dude walks in and straight up to me and says “SMILE” and I gave him the death stare. It’s so fucking annoying that some men think my sole purpose is to make them feel better by smiling at them. Gtfo

190

u/kevnmartin Nov 29 '22 Got the W

Look them square in the eye and say "Dance".

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u/luisapet Nov 29 '22

'Look them square in the eye and say "Dance"'...while you shoot at their feet. Like this classic: https://youtu.be/yUe_Pi8NfT4

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u/Karnakite Nov 29 '22

I like this one.

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u/Karnakite Nov 29 '22 Helpful

Ideally (I admit at least I hardly ever have the time, energy or gumption), if I were in this situation, I would come back and ask the cashier if I could speak to so-and-so (they usually give some kind of an indication as to who rung up your order), and then ask that person, as calmly as possible, what “Pretty With No Smile” meant. If they said “Nothing,” I’d point out that it doesn’t say nothing, and I suspect that that’s not true.

One of the best approaches to gross people is to make them spell out exactly what their words mean when they get caught. One of their biggest get offs is how they can be gross and get away with it.

419

u/nighthawk_something Nov 29 '22

The best offense against offensive "humour" is making them explain the joke.

216

u/GuyThatsHappyToStay Nov 29 '22

Unless you are my dad when he thinks explaining it is just as funny as the joke

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u/BrokeDancing Nov 29 '22 Wholesome

Sometimes, I think my wife only keeps me around to avoid harassment. lol

3.5k

u/YoujustgotLokid Nov 29 '22

I sometimes bring my fiancé with me to avoid being harassed certain places

2.0k

u/BrokeDancing Nov 29 '22

Totally understandable. There has been an incel explosion, & those guys have no chill.

1.3k

u/YoujustgotLokid Nov 29 '22

For sure. It’s wild. Even when I’m with my fiancé I still get harassed. We were on vacation, hanging out at a casino, and I was two machines away from him. A guy came up and told me he was going to buy me a shot. I pointed to my fiancé and told him no thanks. He still told me he was going to buy me a shot and he was better company. The mental hoops people jump through are insane. Like who thinks that’s going to work? Sorry for the rant

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u/BrokeDancing Nov 29 '22

Yer ok. It's good to vent. That is ridiculous. "Just 10 minutes with my charming banter & a drink [containing god knows what] she will forget all about the guy she's going to marry, who happens to be sitting 5ft away." Wow. That's some psychopathic confidence right there. Geesh.

303

u/testtubemuppetbaby Nov 29 '22

And here I am afraid to approach single women who might actually want to talk.

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u/gtx3071r Nov 29 '22

That just means you’re a normal nice person

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u/mmealkazam Nov 29 '22

My husband insists that if they push after I say I’m married “let him buy you the drink, say thanks and come hold my hand..guys saving me 8 bucks and getting me that much closer to getting laid” lol but that’s just our marriage.

I’ve done it twice, and both times they weren’t that thrilled when I said “no really, thank you” and then walked off to sit on my husbands thigh.

On a final note, when hit on or offered something, I always say “sorry, I’m actually married” and will flash my ring and point to my husband. Decent people walk off, anyone who keeps pushing after that deserve a big let down.

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u/Xing787 Nov 29 '22

My GF gets hit on regularly when we go out. I'm not a jealous guy. She is up front about being in a relationship and some just don't care. She will let them buy however many drinks they are willing and just come back and sit with me. She can handle herself, but also I'm not going home without her and saves me money. Win-win.

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u/Zoran181 Nov 29 '22

My gf and i have been together for 6 years. On her birthday we went to a rooftop bar and i was ordering a hookah for my table. There was a sleezy Miami type guy next to me buying drinks for almost every woman that would respond to him. He stood their saying "oi chika" to every single woman that breathed. I watched the bartender hand the woman the drinks directly. So when i got back to my table i tell my girlfriend and her friends to go walk by that guy, and make sure the bartender hands you the drinks. My girlfriend comes back with a drink IN EACH HAND, shouting proudly, "LOOK BOO I DID IT!" 😂😂😂 Dude saved me at least $30 that night

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u/TheStriefSon Nov 30 '22

Hahahajajaja!!! Fucking perfect! "LOOK BOO I DID IT!" LOVE IT!

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u/generals_test Nov 29 '22

Give the drink to your husband and have him tell the guy “thanks.”

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u/snekywang Nov 29 '22

LMAO

Tribute

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u/Slavic-Viking Nov 29 '22

My gf (might have been my fiancee at that point) declined a drink at the bar, said she was with someone. Guy insisted. She came back to our table and handed me the drink. I looked at the guy and drank it, and raised the empty glass to thank him.

He didn't bother trying again.

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u/tsansuri Nov 29 '22

Your husband and I share the same policy, I've had it with my wife since we were dating. If some fool wants to buy you a drink after he knows you're here with someone, let him. A fool and his money are soon disappointed by the choices they make, or something like that.

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u/YoujustgotLokid Nov 29 '22

That’s amazing, I love it. We have a similar relationship, I might have to try that.

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u/BouncingSphinx Nov 29 '22

"Thanks! Buy my fiancé one as well please."

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u/Dramatological Nov 29 '22

I have a guy friend who waits for dudes to offer me drinks at bars. He'll siddle up with my husband, throw his arm over my shoulder, and yell "Drinks all around, then?"

Works more often than not, too.

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u/MajesticLilFruitcake Nov 29 '22 Take My Energy

Only Ulta, Sephora, and my boyfriend are allowed to address me with “hello gorgeous.”

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

European wax center also does and I allow it.

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u/DeepTalksOnly Nov 29 '22

In general, I think it can be allowed if the company is doing this for every customer.

It feels less appropriate if someone had to decide to call just you that

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u/JoeNoYouDidnt Nov 29 '22

I'm not even a woman, but if I found out Sephora messages it's customers with "hello gorgeous" I'd think, "yeah that tracks".

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u/spubbbba Nov 29 '22

Obviously OP's husband is a real looker and now he's getting the "hello gorgeous" texts.

Watch out OP, car place is gonna steal your man.

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u/DeliciousLiving8563 Nov 29 '22

Yeah he got "Hello big boy, your car is clean. Sploosh. Don't worry we have plenty of hose for your return"

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u/Dragon2950 Nov 29 '22

Husband should go back in and complain that he didn't get called gorgeous.

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u/Meggles_Doodles Nov 29 '22

10000000% yes lol

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u/flock-of-bagels Nov 29 '22 Wholesome Seal of Approval

Thirsty mother fuckers everywhere

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u/SplashDADDYxorgborg Nov 29 '22

I went out with the woman I was dating at the time and was leading her across the venue. Some guy I’ve never seen or met before grabbed her and tried to yank her away from me. Obviously I shoved him off and he got in my face asking me who I thought I was and trying to fight me. Fucking unreal.

6.6k

u/beerrunner82 Nov 29 '22 Table Slap

My buddy and his wife were at a bar years ago and some dude asked her if my buddy was bothering her. She said he had been for about 3 years since he’s her husband

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u/soggyballsack Nov 29 '22

That's the "rescuing a damsel in distress" of the bar type.

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22 edited Dec 11 '22

[deleted]

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u/Snoo97809 Nov 29 '22

Years ago at an old job, I had a manager who was super into me and really creepy about it. I requested time off to see Britney Spears in Vegas with my now husband (bf at the time). A coworker told me the next day that she was in the office while he as going through the time off requests and said “yea right, as if I’m going to approve time off for her to go on vacation with another man” 😳 I told upper management, nothing happened to him, but I luckily was able to take the time off. 😠

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u/Playful_Ad3532 Nov 29 '22

“as if i’ll let her take time off with another man” like he. owns you??? and controls what you do?? like you’re an object and his property??? and not a sentient human person?? who can have a romantic relationship with someone who isn’t him?? the way he should’ve been fired. that’s disgusting and made my skin crawl, ugh. “another man” like WHO did he think he was, ew

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u/Snoo97809 Nov 29 '22

It was insane!! It was actually a huge situation that I didn’t get into in my previous comment. Long story short, I reported a bunch of what was going on with him to HR and the way that it was handled resulted in the head of HR being fired and literally nothing happened to him. I quit shortly after but absolutely could have sued them. It was wild.

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u/Muad-_-Dib Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

"Nice guys" conflate almost literally any interaction with the opposite sex as a romance just waiting to happen.

Edit: Yes to be sure there are also just generally "touch-starved" types who do the same thing but manage not to be massive weird misogynistic arseholes about it.

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u/Bruins14 Nov 29 '22

Lmao so true. I’ve had soo many friends that were flat out awful with women and it was shocking how any little act of kindness you’d witness everyday between strangers was in their mind the female heavily flirting with them. When they’d ask me right away “did you see that? That girls 100% into me!” I’d have to tell them pump the brakes it was just a polite act but so many guys are just delusional.

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u/DomiekNSFW Nov 29 '22

As someone who spent most of my youth oblivious to what in hindsight was obvious interest from women, hearing this shit is wild to me.

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u/akwardrelations Nov 29 '22

You and I are the same kind of idiot. Idk how many times I've been told someone was flirting with me and I had no clue. Was married for 15 years and my wife constantly told me, I always thought it was just a bit of jealousy but been divorced for a couple years and my friends tell me the same thing.

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u/LaUNCHandSmASH Nov 29 '22

For the love of god give one of these poor ladies your number already my man!

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u/WhoSc3w3dDaP00ch Nov 29 '22

In high school, my buddies joked a woman would have to “hit me in the head with a shovel” to get me to notice her.

On multiple occasions, a gal in our extended group would hit me with a shovel. It took me until after college to understand she had a thing for me…

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u/UnlikelyPlatypus89 Nov 29 '22

Some of the guys I played DND with were like that. Me and the other players had to tell them, “no that woman complimented your shirt because she liked your shirt. She’s not trying to get with you, but if you wanna go talk to her, go for it!” Queue some weird defeatist attitude. Literally going from ‘they’re into me’ to ‘wow, you’re right. Women suck’

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u/Exhausted_Weeb Nov 29 '22

I tried to get into dnd and ran into alot of guys that would instead of focusing the campaign would just flirt with my character and made me uncomfortable via proxy so I just gave up on playing and just listen to podcasts instead

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u/Salt_Huckleberry_690 Nov 29 '22

As someone who plays dnd trust me most of us really hate guys that do that I was leave groups that have people like, I think I heard about a all women's group a while back can't tell you where though sorry

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

I wasn't allowed to talk to the opposite sex growing up. When I left home I made a lot of women working in customer service very uncomfortable.

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u/MaidMirawyn Nov 29 '22

I'm glad you recognize it, and kudos to you for doing better!

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u/Regular_Sample_5197 Nov 29 '22

Lol then you get dudes like me that could have a woman beating me over the head with a chair flirting with me and I was always like “What? She was hitting on me? Naw, she was just being friendly/nice/talkative.” My wife thinks it’s hilarious when it happens.

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u/IveSeenWhatYouGot Nov 29 '22

My wife, fiancé then, and I went to a bar for some drinks one night. She had her ring on and some dude next to her started talking to her and offered to buy her some drinks. I just gave her the go ahead look and he ended up buying her two drinks. The entire time she was talking to me and ignored him whenever he tried to start a conversation. After I finished my drinks we both got up and left together, leaving buddy behind to his astonishment. Some men are just straight clueless. I did appreciate saving $20 that night though.

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u/uoYredruM Nov 29 '22 Narwhal Salute

I was at a concert with my wife and some friends a few years ago. Some dude smacked my wife's ass and bolted. I caught him pretty quickly but the crowd separated us to stop us from fighting when I grabbed him.

I yelled "he fucking slapped my wife's ass" and some random dude slapped him in the face.

It wasn't the justice I wanted but it was something. Plus it kept me out of trouble lol.

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u/Ruckus_Riot Nov 29 '22

“Some random dude slapped him in the face”.

I know you wanted to beat his ass, but this village justice made me crack up lmao

I’m somehow picturing Marshall from HIMYM reaching from the crowd to deliver the fateful slap…

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u/uoYredruM Nov 29 '22

Hahaha, yeah it was pretty comical. Not in the moment but looking back, it was hilarious.

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u/Ruckus_Riot Nov 29 '22

I wonder how often he thinks about that as he’s falling asleep. 😂😂

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u/LaUNCHandSmASH Nov 29 '22

That's the fun part about men who grab random womens asses, they don't!

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u/buffyinfaith Nov 29 '22

Just in time for Slapsgiving 2023.

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u/coolsam254 Nov 29 '22 Silver

Hey man, eye for an eye and a cheek for a cheek.

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u/BeatYoYeet Nov 29 '22

At least he didn’t even get punched. A slap is like… “I don’t fuck with you, but you aren’t worth a felony. Get outta here.” LOL (I’m not saying he didn’t deserve the punch. I’m saying you didn’t deserve the felony.)

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u/your_surrogate_mom Nov 29 '22

I had a random guy in my DMs, and I politely told him I was married after he made some suggestions. He accused me of trying to make him jealous. Yup, been with my husband for the better part of 2 decades, as a long con to get him all hot and bothered.

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u/Chandler15 Nov 29 '22

Some people are way too delusional. On a completely different topic though, I love your username and bio, very sweet.

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u/FakeTaxiCab Nov 29 '22

Holy Shit!!

I went thru the same thing in a club with my wife. This was years ago, but ill never forget. Only reason it didnt become a fight was because his friend dragged him away.

People are so fucking stupid.

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u/SplashDADDYxorgborg Nov 29 '22

Yea the bouncers got there quick and she wanted to leave immediately so we just left. Guess they saw it happen cause they grabbed him and didn’t really say anything to us. I couldn’t believe it happened lol

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u/Active-Ad3977 Nov 29 '22

The good ones are so quick and seem to see things before you do. I don’t know how they do it

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u/TropicalCat Nov 29 '22 Wholesome

Be sober around drunk people

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u/unethicalpsycologist Nov 29 '22

Once you've been around the block a few times, you can tell the ones who walk in the door you are most likely to have to grab later. And you are thankful when it's early, and not a big instance.

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u/Active-Ad3977 Nov 29 '22

Ha ha ha ha yes

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u/speakez421 Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

One of the best bouncers I’ve ever met was at a bar I frequented almost nightly in my lower 20’s. He was good because he could see a problem forming before it escalated to far and he would intervene and pull each person aside and talk them down before it could go any farther. Dude almost never had to put his hands on anyone and knew exactly how to talk to drunk and angry people.

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u/thebigcheesus Nov 29 '22

These guys could be therapists the way some of them handle certain situations.

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u/Tek_Analyst Nov 29 '22

They watch and see this day in day out.

They hone in on the single guys and watch them. They watch the pretty girls too.

Typically some form of those two combinations causes an issue.

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u/shuzkaakra Nov 29 '22

The superdrunk superdouches are pretty obvious.

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u/pocketdare Nov 29 '22

I'm a bit old for clubs now-a-days. But I thought that in my 20's as well. Clubs seem to exclusively attract posers, idiots and douche nozzles.

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u/PM_ME_CATS_OR_BOOBS Nov 29 '22

There's a certain kind of person who prowls around clubs because they are convinced that their sheer good looks and machismo will make women want to bang them immediately. It rarely works.

I remember being at a club one night and some guy rolls up with an honest to God entourage. My man was in a white suit while all his buds were wearing black and surrounding him. Walking into a half empty club at 9pm on a Friday in a city barely anyone visits when there's more trendy ones like 20 minutes away. I'm sure he and his buds were friends but they certainly didn't attract anyone that night by the time we left lol

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u/Vandilbg Nov 29 '22

Sounds like a Stag Do they've got some odd formal ware traditions. The guy wearing white is to be married.

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u/angry_gnome_ Nov 29 '22

The egos in the bar scene are insane. It's like high-school with the fashion necessities. I got out of that 3 years ago and realize in clear view what a desperate clown show it really is.

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

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u/torontomua Nov 29 '22

it’s like we’re just random objects. i’m not a baseball glove you found that was left at a park or something.

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u/bendover912 Nov 29 '22

Maybe you were dating his wife?

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u/St0rytime Nov 29 '22

I went on a date with a grill a few years ago to a bar and while ordering drinks some 60+ y/o dude tried to block me out and talk to her, creepy af

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u/occultatum-nomen Nov 29 '22 Helpful hehehehe I'll Drink to That

I went on a date with a grill

Was she smoking hot with a great rack?

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u/Muffin_man420 Nov 29 '22

Old men love to grill 😋

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u/Shankopatomu5 Nov 29 '22

was it a Grill master, Blackstone, or a Weber?

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u/lacilynnn Nov 29 '22

It was a Traeger. She was smokin'.

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u/LurkmasterP Nov 29 '22

He's probably still hanging around that bar, hoping that shit will eventually work.

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u/feckOffMate Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

Having a long term relationship with a woman teaches you a lot of weird stuff about men. I’ve been punched in the face for telling a dude to stop groping my gfs butt in a bar.

Edit: I have a lot of fun stories. One time we went to Chicago and ended up bar hopping with this group of people who were pretty nice and fun, so we thought. One of the dudes ended up getting drunk and then made the rest of the night a competition to legitimately try to steal my girlfriend from me. The end of the night we just tried laugh it off and leave and he tried to fist fight me in the middle of the bar for her. lol

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u/Pls_PmTitsOrFDAU_Thx Nov 29 '22

Having a long term relationship with a woman teaches you a lot of weird stuff about men

Not even. Just having women friends is enough. I had plenty growing up and oh man the shit I've seen first or second had is ridiculous

Then oh got worse when I went to college. A friend literally was stalked. I was almost ready to face getting in trouble to get him to stop

But I bet having a long term relationship will uncover even more things

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u/feckOffMate Nov 29 '22

Especially living with them. It’s just all the time. Idk how many weird fucking incidents happened with her just taking out the dog before work. 7:30 am, one of the neighbors decides to walk his dog next to her and talk about his vasectomy.

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u/thewowwedeserve Nov 29 '22

So he got a Vasectomy? Now you know, if she doesn't get pregnant it was him

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u/feckOffMate Nov 29 '22

I see you bear no child woman, you were with Rusty again weren’t you?

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u/Logical-Error-7233 Nov 29 '22

This reminded me of once when I went outside to join a woman friend for a cigarette, I was probably 30 seconds behind her and this guy was already trying to hit on her. I ask her for the lighter and this moron thinks I'm like trying to move in on her. He starts trying to tear me down like "oh you can't find a lighter somewhere else?", "is that like your goto pick up line? ", "does that ever work?" etc. I stand there for a minute and just let this idiot hang himself with his own insecurities then I tell him she's my girlfriend's best friend and she legit has my lighter. Dude completely blew his chance being a massive insecure turd.

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u/Something4688 Nov 29 '22

Reminds me of a time I was watching movies in the school lounge with a male friend of mine. We usually did it once a week if school wasn't too much. Some random guy decides to join us, I think no big deal at first. Then he starts dissing the movie my friend brought for us to watch and tells me "I'd have a better time watching movies with him." And "He knows way better movies to watch." We wound up leaving.

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u/anadvancedrobot Nov 29 '22

As a guy that’s 6 foot and have what my friends call ‘resting will stab a bitch’ face, that has multiple female friends I drink with. I’ve had so many random girls come up to me and say some guy is creeping over them.

It’s honestly scary how many guys are perfect ok harassing random woman and see to think it will actually get them lade.

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u/Caelum_au_Cylus Nov 29 '22

Yeah, random girls asking to sit at mine and my ex's table because some guy or guys were being creepy and touchy was all to common.

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u/harleyspoison267 Nov 29 '22

My fiance is 6'4" 300+ pounds and a military vet. I'm 5'4" on a good day and curvy, not exactly intimidating. The amount of times I've had to explain and even demonstrate to him that the world is completely different for him than it is for me is crazy. He's aware of how he comes across, but he doesn't always understand that he get away with being confrontational a lot because he's so huge. Some of the things he's said or done, while not wrong, would get me beat up, raped, or murdered, if I did them when he wasn't around and sometimes he doesn't understand why I "let" people get away with shit. Sometimes it's just self preservation. As OP showed, we literally live in different worlds at times.

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u/RecipesAndDiving Nov 29 '22

Oh yeah. Like “why do women play games and not just say they’re not interested” and it’s just absolutely adorable to think we can do that without getting assaulted and killed or just ignored if we’re lucky.

My “no, I have both a drink and a boyfriend” still got my wrists grabbed and dragged I to a booth before a male friend intervened and claimed me since the jerk only respected other men’s claim to property.

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u/Rugkrabber Nov 29 '22

Such a classic when you stand next to a bar to buy drinks, and a random dude says ‘I’m just saying I have a bf to get rid of me’ like bruh even if I was, isn’t that a massive hint in itself? I don’t want to talk to you. Then my boyfriend popped up next to me and these losers walk away without a word. Happened multiple times. It’s so weird.

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u/Durhamfarmhouse Nov 29 '22

I moved to a house in a rural area upstate NY. There was an older, single guy who lived across the road. Nice enough guy. One day I was shoveling the driveway and he came over to bullshit. Then he said "I hope you don't mind me asking but what is your relationship with Mary?" I answered "Well, we've been married for 30 years, so I guess you could say she's my wife."

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u/nightfox5523 Nov 29 '22

"He'S jUsT trYInG tO Be fRieNdLy" - some idiot somewhere

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u/hologothic Nov 29 '22

It always makes me laugh when I hear this line, because it's such a load of crap.

While traveling, some rando came up to my friend and I at a bar. Things started off fine but as time went on he kept asking red flag questions. 'Where are you staying?' 'Where are you going tomorrow?' 'Are you two a couple?' 'Where do you live?' At one point he spewed a bullshit story about going to a nearby area that we both knew was illegal, where traspassers were shot on sight, so my friend said 'Is that where you keep all the bodies?' 🤣😂 He kept touching my arm, apologizing, then continuing to do it in spite of being told to stop.

It became clear that he could tell we weren't buying his shit because we kept giving vague answers and stopped interacting with him. I've worked in many public-facing industries and can read people very well, and it was apparent that he knew he was pushing the line but chose to continue trying to wear us down. None of this shit is ever 'just a guy being friendly' or not knowing he's being creepy when they're this persistent. My friend and I were also determined to enjoy our time there and not move, because fuck that guy. We've both lived in large cities our entire lives and know this type well: might be crazy, don't piss him off, grey rock strategy. But also don't back down, because they'll take that inch and force you to give a mile in one way or another.

Eventually, while my friend was in the restroom, this guy tried to start chatting again and asked AGAIN if we were free the following day. I gave another vague answer (which ironically wasn't far from the truth) and he became so insulted that I was brushing him off. He kept acting like every answer I gave was a lie, very obviously trying to force me to become defensive. My calmness unnerved him because I wasn't taking the bait. Incel vibes all the way, because he immediately said 'Y'know, I'm just being cordial.' So I replied, 'Sure, and I'm just being careful.'

Not long after that, she and I decided we were done with our drinks and wanted to check out the pool tables in the other room and possibly play a game. This asshole was watching us the ENTIRE TIME. Staring with a wounded/angry look... probably trying to figure out how he was going to follow us out and do who the hell knows what. So I stared back to show I saw him, I was aware he was staring, and I was watching his ass in case he tried something. We were already on to his game and waiting until he went to the restroom to leave just so he didn't see which car we were driving. Once he got up to go we got the fuck out.

A lot of people seem to act like women and female-identifying people don't have to deal with this kind of shit on a regular basis, but you know what? We do. We know how to handle these things solely from having a lot of experience, and that learning often starts at a very young age. We're not fucking exaggerating when we say we don't feel safe in most public places.

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u/VioletteKaur Nov 29 '22

A lot of people seem to act like women and female-identifying people don't have to deal with this kind of shit on a regular basis, but you know what? We do.

This makes me wanna cry. Everytime I tell a dude how it is to live as a women I get told that this is not how reality is. And that people who share their stories online, like we do here, are exaggerating. And I tell them, of course it doesn't happen to you, you are a 1,80/1,90 m male looking man, people act different around you.

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u/331845739494 Nov 29 '22

Yup this sadly is the universal experience for girls and women. My trans friend told me that the lack of sexual harassment was the most jarring experience of being perceived as male. According to him it's like living in a parallel world.

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u/hologothic Nov 29 '22

I've heard similar things from a FtM trans friend, he said the most shocking thing was that he's actually being taken seriously at work instead of talked over.

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u/miesanonsiesanot Nov 29 '22

Hello Georgeus

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u/flock-of-bagels Nov 29 '22

I get those in my inbox here on Reddit. I’m trolling one now

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u/bread_enjoyer75 Nov 29 '22

tell em I say Hello for me, will ya?

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u/MrFYU Nov 29 '22

What did the first dude texting you think you were gonna do, text him back about how you’ve been missing out on him your whole life? 🤣

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u/CatOfTheDecade Nov 29 '22

This is what I just don't get.

Right before the pandemic hit, I was making a coffee run. I ran into a coworker parked outside. He saw an attractive woman walking in so he revved his engine to the limiter. She didn't look. He did it again when she came out. And again she didn't look.

Like ... did he think she was going to say "oh wow I've never met a man who has both a '95 Civic hatchback AND a Folgers exhaust, take me now"?

I'm not sure who I felt more sorry for that day.

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u/temperamentalglow Nov 29 '22

🤣 I also don’t understand engine revving for attention. If I hear that, I automatically assume you’re inconsiderate (at the very least) for making extra noise and probably need a lot of attention and validation.

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u/gaysoul_mate Nov 29 '22

Same ; everyone being rude goes to my imaginary Big Nope list immediately

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u/hargaslynn Nov 29 '22

Men are constantly catering to other men when trying to impress women. It’s really embarrassing how stupid it is when you look at it.

Look at my car

Look at my fish

Look at my men’s sport team pride

Look at my computer game skillz

Look at how much I like breweries.

Cool Jeremy, but are you trying to attract me or my brother who is 20 in a fraternity?

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u/Utapau301 Nov 29 '22

If I ever make a dating profile, my main pic is going to be me holding up a stuffed animal fish and looking proud.

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u/ComeAbout Nov 29 '22

I held up a box of fish sticks for one and that worked.

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u/Mari46c3 Nov 29 '22

"oh my god his penis must be so big!'

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u/0falls6x3 Nov 29 '22

“You hear that rev??? That man’s packing!!” -said no woman ever 😂

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u/MyOfficeAlt Nov 29 '22 Helpful

Jerry Seinfeld has that old bit about the futility of the guy beeping his horn as he drives by a pretty woman. "What's he expecting her to do? Kick off the heels and start chasing after the car? She's grabbing onto the bumper and pulling herself up the side of the car to the window, 'It's a good thing you honked! I had no idea how you felt!'"

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

In his fantasy:

Oh my gosh me? 😊 😊 😊 Thank u so much, do you want to get drinks together after your shift?

IRL: https://i.imgflip.com/28this.jpg

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u/catastrophized Nov 29 '22

Shit like this makes me hate being a woman.

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Sportabout Nov 29 '22

I was going to say, OP is overlooking the real crime here

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u/sciencemint Nov 29 '22

I’m THAT person 🙈

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u/CharlesChuckLeClerc Nov 29 '22

With texts like this, I wouldn’t wanna read the damn things either.

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u/eugoogilizer Nov 29 '22

At least you don’t leave people on “read”! Since you never read them 😂

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u/Hrmpfreally Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

I don’t understand how people think this makes anyone feel anything other than uncomfortable.

Edit: Whole lot of dudes out here projecting their anger on women and acting like a wholly irresponsible gesture (hitting on someone using their personal phone number is MUCH DIFFERENT than a face to face compliment) is totally normal and excusable.

Time to grow up for them, I guess

E2: for all of you that think I’m an AnGrY WoMaN, I’m a married middle aged dude, so uh… no.

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u/bananaexaminer Nov 29 '22

Aw geez, those edits are sad.

This is the reality for women on the internet though. If people assume you’re a woman (because you rightfully disagreed with something shitty that happens to women), you’re dismissed, demeaned, and harassed.

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u/PayPalsEnemy Nov 29 '22

Probably thinking with the head that only gets blood flow for a short period of time.

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u/Hrmpfreally Nov 29 '22

At the place that pays you the money you use to fucking eat and live?!

Cut that shit off.

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u/Hot_Guess_1871 Nov 29 '22

“Because, as a man, I would love to get a message like this even if I know it doesn’t mean anything. So how could a woman not also appreciate it?”

…what some men think

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u/BonnieMcMurray Nov 29 '22

for all of you that think I’m an AnGrY WoMaN, I’m a married middle aged dude, so uh… no.

Now all your haters will just switch to endless, moronic, knee-jerking "white knight" and "cuck" remarks.

RIP your inbox!

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u/Browneyedgirl63 Nov 29 '22

Take this to the manager. Very unprofessional. As an owner/ manager I’d want to know that my employees are texting customers this.

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u/drsamchez Nov 29 '22

Plot twist, the creeper just might be the business owner!

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u/glw8 Nov 29 '22

I'm beginning to think "Shoot your shot" and variant sayings do more harm than good.

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u/SufficientAd3865 Nov 29 '22

There would not have been a second one for me. I would have found a different car wash.

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u/Haxorz7125 Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

I recently learned all my female friends/family currently have or have had a stalker. One was a patient my sister treated who waited in the parking lot for her to get out.

Shits scary out there for women. This is why I bought my girlfriend pepper spray. Stay safe.

Edit: I’ll also add my brothers fiancé had some guy who’d stalk her at a bakery in an acme. I didn’t even notice til one time I went shopping and stopped to talk to her. A guy gave me the side eye and walked off and she explained he’s always stopping by trying to get her number or ‘get a hug’.

It’s crazy how blind I was to it til it was pointed out to me. It’s something I’ve never had to deal with so it was never even on my radar.

And as an additive apparently the store didn’t do shit when she mentioned feeling unsafe. I bought a multi pack of pepper spray recently and plan to hand em out to all the women I know.

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u/TheHeavyMetalQueen Nov 29 '22

I'm a woman who was stalked by 2 different coworkers at 2 different jobs. I come to work to pay my bills not get harassed and followed home ffs. Neither of them even cared that I'm married either.

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u/WyldeFae Nov 29 '22

My wife has had to deal with this a couple times. She keeps written logs of incidents, shows HR. If HR doesn't do anything, she threatens to sue. Would you look at that, the guy got fired, how weird lol.

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

One time at work I volunteered to do night shift because we were short staffed and this guy came in while our store was still open, hit on me, and asked when I was getting off my shift. I tried to let him down gently but he wasn't really getting the hint. I told him I was going to be working until very late and he said he would wait. Sure enough he was still in the damn parking lot at 4 in the morning, so he just sat there for 10 hours waiting for me to leave work. Needless to say I left out the back door.

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u/TheRealTaraLou Nov 29 '22

I don't know a single woman who hasn't been stalked or at least followed in public. It's a scary world out there. It's happened to me multiple times

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u/caitejane310 Nov 29 '22

I made a sound that doesn't translate well into words, but basically 🤮

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u/ninjahexparty Nov 29 '22

maybe “euagch.” i definitely made that.

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u/thedudesews Nov 29 '22

And this crap is why my female friends have me go with them for car inspections etc.

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

Thank you for going with them!

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u/thedudesews Nov 29 '22

Absolutely. Funny how when I go my car is fine and when my wife goes the car is on its last legs

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u/MfBenzy Nov 29 '22

Exactly. My step mom brought her car in for an oil change and a tire rotation, and my dad got a call from her saying they said a specific part on the car was busted and it would be dangerous to drive like that.

My dad drove down there immediately. Turns out, he had just replaced said part they claimed was broken last week, and they were just picking a almost new part to look like they put something new in. There was also a noise that wasn’t there when she brought it in. There were bolts that should not have been able to become loose on their own that suddenly were. We assume so she would hear a noise and come to have them “fix it”.

Needless to say, my dad, who has been working on cars since before he could drive, was PISSED. She only used the shops he recommended after that if it was something she didn’t wanna wait for him to do.

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u/Independent-Cup8725 Nov 29 '22

Girlfriend took her car to get the oil changed. I detail cars so I made her engine bay look all nice and stuff. When she got back, there was no engine cover, a bent radiator, and she was charged $260. Tried to sue and go the legal route but we lost because "she could've done that herself." She doesn't know a thing about cars.

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u/a_killer_roomba Nov 29 '22

My car was having an issue where the steering wheel felt loose and would click. Didn't know how to describe it other than that it feels like the wheels are going to break off.

I took it to a shop owned by the manufacturers. The guy we got drove the car around the block once to diagnose it. He came back and kept speaking over me and my mom like "You need an oil change, you can leave it here for two weeks and we will get to it, you need our brand's premium oil, that's why the steering feels shaky" and teaching me the importance of regular oil changes. Unbeknownst to him I just recently had the oil changed.

So then we took it to the dealership's diagnostic center. Lo and behold, the wheels were getting ready to break from the fucking steering (specifically the rack and pinion were getting ready to break). They said I was lucky it hadn't completely broke yet. It was the manufacturer's fault so I didn't pay anything. We also asked if we needed the oil changed, to which they said no.

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u/Complex-Key-8704 Nov 29 '22

Wow that's shameless

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u/EndeyChillz Nov 29 '22

Bit of a difference there huh

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u/-smartypints Nov 29 '22

My wife always has crazy stories from when she goes out alone. The difference is infuriating.

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u/Pistachio1227 Nov 29 '22

After reading some of these comments I find it frustrating - No matter which side of the line you think you fall on - the bottom line and the only reason for the posting is

It is UNPROFESSIONAL. Car wash , doctors office, Best Buy, etc. ANYWHERE. It is poor behavior and should be corrected.

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

It also flips around too....some lady working an 8 hour shift on her feet doesn't want to hear your shitty tired attempts to hit on her. She wants to go home and wish for a world where she doesn't have to put up with any of this shit.

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u/itsCS117 Nov 29 '22

Send your husband in and have him only refer to the guy as gorgeous.

"hey gorgeous, I'm here for my car." "Sorry gorgeous, I only got 1s and pennies." "Thank you so much, Gorgeous."

Humiliation by putting a womanizer in his place is the best revenge.

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u/MGriffinSpain Nov 29 '22

My wife gets harassed nearly every single time she goes anywhere without me. However, she’s never once been bothered when we’re together. It’s much more than mildly infuriating. Every time I walk anywhere near a girl I can sense her tense up. This is not the kind of world I want for my daughter.

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u/666vegan66 Nov 29 '22

No, men. This is not "game" or wanted attention whatsoever.

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u/GaimanitePkat Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

If a woman does not specifically give you her contact information to use for social purposes, do not use her contact information for social purposes.

I don't care what a man looks like or how much money he makes. A man stealing or inappropriately using my contact information to hit on me is absolutely inappropriate and an enormous turn-off.

Any man who does this deserves to be immediately fired from wherever he got the information.

edit for the trolls: Yes, this refers to people of any gender. However the person I am responding to referred to men, so my comment also addressed men. Most of you arguing that it's a compliment and that OP is overreacting also seem to be men.

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u/Massadonious Nov 29 '22

The number of buried comments is....troubling.

Especially the ones that were posted in the last 10-15 minutes.

It's really easy to not be an asshole, ya'll.

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u/VoodooMcGobo Nov 29 '22

So many men brush this kind of shit off as a woman not accepting a compliment as if women don't receive countless advances and unwanted compliments to the point of feeling unsafe in public, no sense of perspective.

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u/edgeblackbelt Nov 29 '22

Don’t say something to a woman you don’t want said to you in prison.

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