This stuff always makes me mad. I know people mean well but when it's hypothetical and on videos it's all support and love. But when it comes to real life problems and actual suicide none gives a shit about you. And noone cares or wants to do anything to help.
It feels like it's all for show.
I fucking wish I was never born and that I was dead
people wanna do what "looks good" and not what "does good" because doing good is effort. and honestly in a lot of cases they just have no power to help in a meaningful way. the best they can do is to donate to a few charities. which in some cases don't really help people at all and are scams a lot of times (not always)
Alright, so what’s your idea for how people can help then? Just gotta do your research and happen to find a good charity where the earnings go to a good cause. Donating to charity is an inherentlygood thing. This just seems like textbook pessimism to me.
Regardless of whether or not people do good things just because it makes them “look good” or because they genuinely care, if that action can actually help people and others can benefit from, why does it matter?
but half the time i've talked to people they don't have the faintest idea and blamed me for "not putting effort to make my life better" when they don't see how much freaking effort i put.
maybe helping them when they're feeling horrible? maybe doing their groceries or doing something when they're just unable to do anything.
for money there's a lot of gofundme pages about people (sadly a lot of young people..) trying to get out of abusive households. i always wanted to donate to one despite needing money myself. but we don't have credit cards here.
let them know their pain is heard.
educate yourself about mental heath and all that. educate yourself about what helps and doesn't help someone in crisis.
honestly if I got a penny for every time i've been sent a crisis line phone number i'd be rich. and if you know the person they usually don't wanna care they dont' listen. I hate getting those crisis numbers. they're pretty much only for people in the US and even if you're in the US don't do much. they feel like more a slap in the face to me.
sadly a lot of this falls on the shoulders of governments who don't give a shit about people.
if I wasn't so broken sad and hopeless i'd write something proper and longer. but maybe start by googling "how to help someone with mental disorders, going trough a rough time"
even those horrible wikihow articles already show the average person a lot more then they know.
So just fuck the suicidal guy right? We’re just all going to agree there’s no hope for that mf and death is the only solution? You don’t even know if that guy was sound of mind, what his situation is, if he was on drugs or nothing. What a progressive stance! Aren’t you guys so supportive…
Do you really think that the only options are a stranger posting a generic, meaningless comment or no one helping the person at all? Do you think that no other form of help can possibly be given to a struggling person?
Your version of help is just letting them die. What are you talking about? You backtrackin? Remember, this comment section is under a post of a firefighter saving somebody who’s suicidal while you and bunch of other fools are crying that he should’ve just let him fall and perish.
I’ve been consistently anti-suicide in all my comments so I’m not sure how you ended up confused but I do believe that there is hope for people like the guy in the post. Whether you believe it or not, is the argument at hand.
There are people that genuinely love every single living being. If one of those says "know you're loved", it's not a wrong or hypocritical statement.
However, I agree that 1. many people just say that for virtue signaling and don't actually love all life and 2. if that love is not physically felt, like you say, by family or friends that actually interact with you, it might as well not exist.
People that love all life unfortunately can't just go around and show the same amount of love to everyone. But they do exist and they do vote for the good stuff. Unfortunately, they are not even close to a majority.
Love given equally to everything is of no value. If everyone is beautiful, then no one is. No one is interested in an alleged affection that they earn simply by existing - that's the most insulting and egregious participation medal I've ever heard of.
The question is, how do you define love? For me, that is caring about someone's well-being and feeling a loss when they would be gone.
I can honestly say that is true for me when I think about you, MasterBeeble. Not a lot, obviously, since I barely know you. And that might change once I get to know you and you turn out to be a terrible person. But I think that the average person tries to do good where they can and tries to be nice to others. People like that are of value to me, I care about their well-being and I'd be sad if they were gone. Since you're currently the average person to me, that applies to you.
If that truly is insulting to you, I would find that very sad and I can't quite understand it, but I do respect it. For me, it would be good if someone cared about me, no matter how little. Currently, I care about you enough to have a friendly conversation with you and hopefully make your day a little better. Obviously, if this isn't the case and I'm insulting you with these feelings I have, I truly am very sorry and hope we can just go our separate ways.
In my opinion, assuming people's traits based on your perception of the world average, and then "loving" them for those traits you've so mechanically assigned to them, is quite possibly the furthest thing from love imaginable. "People like that are of value to [you]", and yet what you value is an archetype you've created yourself, in your head, to please yourself. Whatever value you derive from that can't possibly be related to the essence of the other person.
Even if we were to assume your every assumption about human nature to be true, I would wager the vast majority of suicidally depressed people aren't interested in being loved merely because they're human. They'd probably rather that if anyone cared, that they cared because of who they are exactly. What they would find offensive about your love, is that many of them would think (or realize) that love unrelated to who they are is the only kind they can solicit. It would be like your only Christmas present being the free food sample at Cosco - you wouldn't be thrilled about it, the new perspective would actually crush you.
You obviously don't have to agree with my perspective, but if you do find yourself interacting with someone whom you suspect is seriously contemplating suicide, please don't inundate them with your supposedly vast affection (unless you know them well enough that they might believe you). You're much more likely to drive them deeper down than you are to help them, at least with that approach.
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u/[deleted] Aug 13 '21
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