r/nextfuckinglevel Jun 29 '22 Dread 1 Bravo Grande! 2 Shocked 1 Take My Energy 3 LOVE! 1 Helpful 49 Wholesome 46 Silver 45 Heartwarming 1 Gold 1 Coin Gift 1

A chimpanzee doing the Ninja Warrior course in Japan

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163.8k Upvotes

17.0k

u/Feeling-Tutor-6480 Jun 29 '22

God damn japanese game shows are wacky

8.5k

u/DiscoDonkey9000 Jun 30 '22

Honestly wish American Game Shows were just as chaotic

Japanese family feud would probably include the contestants getting tasered for every question they got wrong

3.0k

u/theplushpairing Jun 30 '22

And everything would also be made of cake.

1.8k

u/FSpursy Jun 30 '22

Then the floor opens and contestants fall down a slippery slope while they film in slow motion.

730

u/PixelD303 Jun 30 '22

Wish this would be real. Dumb answer, drop floor, move on

432

u/field_medic_tky Jun 30 '22 edited Jun 30 '22

It is!

Can't find the exact thing you described but here's a variation of it.

https://youtu.be/D4Dbg63l8Lw

TL;DW: Contestants believe they're competing in a "dash and touch the ball when it drops" tournament, but a trap door opens up and boom.

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u/modangon Jun 30 '22

The double trap door really got me

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u/invigokate Jun 30 '22

That was amazing.

The good stuff starts after 2 minutes 30 seconds if anyone's interested.

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u/DaenerysMomODragons Jun 30 '22

i wish the American versions just had more actual game to it. It seems to be 25% game, 75% back stories.

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u/fredbrightfrog Jun 30 '22

American Ninja Warrior is the worst about this. An hour long episode and they only get like 4 runs in because everybody needs a 10 minute back story segment.

Part of what made the Japanese one great was contestant after contestant going at the course.

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u/Imightbewrong44 Jun 30 '22

This is where Wipeout gets it right. They just need to go back to the original hosts.

183

u/Iphotoshopincats Jun 30 '22

Wipeout just takeshi's castle trying to look more grown up and serious

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u/Insolent_redneck Jun 30 '22

And MXC took Takeshi's castle and made it hilarious. We need more of that. Spoofing of serious competition to just take all of the wind out of the sails. Hell, I might actually like football if they put little cartoon bonks and whams every other hit or play.

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u/TemplarSensei7 Jun 30 '22

Extremely crude, but I miss that show.

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u/all_armor_no_gun Jun 30 '22

What Wipeout gets right is hitting people in the face.

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u/DaenerysMomODragons Jun 30 '22

To be on American shows I think you need a back story now, even if it's completely fake. If they can't get some drama out of you, they don't care.

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u/Metatron_Tumultum Jun 30 '22

Yeah it's always like: "My Mother died in the Womb during a barn fire, but I wouldn't let that stop my freedom. I only wish my Dad was here to see me. He lost all of his limbs too, just like me, it just was back in the War of Spanish Succession, while I lost most of them in my Uncle's silver mine; before donating the remaining leg to a 9/11 first responder last year. I just want to win this thing so I can put my Golden Retriever through college, he wants to be an ethics teacher. America bless us everyone!"

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u/toepicksaremyfriend Jun 30 '22

More like 5% game, 5% back stories, 90% dirty jokes/innuendos.

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u/Snoo61755 Jun 30 '22

Should get Statler and Waldorf as hosts.

“Wow, that was a medium run!”

“A medium run?”

“Well, it wasn’t rare, and it certainly wasn’t well done!”

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u/pedestrianpinniped Jun 30 '22 edited Jun 30 '22

There is literally a japanese trivia show where they get smacked in the nuts by a little mechanical flyswatter thing
edit; OK, it might not actually be trivia IDK WTF is going on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-GUzHhkRPk

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u/chicano32 Jun 30 '22

Oh yeah, thats the good stuff

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u/Ikeddit Jun 30 '22 edited Jun 30 '22

The no laugh hotel had darts to the butt.

And the 24 hour dodgeball game had… dodgeballs.

Edit: yeah, in your link I’m 99% certain that’s Gaki no Tsukai.

They’re a comedy group that does “punishment” games (Batsu games) for entertainment. How it works is that they have a round of competition first (like bowling), and then the winner of that gets to force a “punishment game” on the losers.

For instance, the No Laugh Hotel had them have to go into this hotel and stay there for a full day. Anytime they laughed, someone would pop out, and use a blow dart to shoot them in the ass.

The winner of the competition then spends the entire time trying to make the losers laugh.

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u/ac1084 Jun 30 '22

Kids don't even know about MXC

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u/Shaneblaster Jun 30 '22

MXC- Chimp Edition! Don’t get eliminated!

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u/PopcornInMyTeeth Jun 30 '22

Let's get it on

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u/Manwosleep Jun 30 '22

Right you are Ken!

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u/byamannowdead Jun 30 '22

Guy LaDouche here!

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u/StyreneAddict1965 Jun 30 '22

We need some Sinkers and Floaters!

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u/Keibun1 Jun 30 '22

Let's get over to guy-le-douche,

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u/Mc_Lovin81 Jun 30 '22 edited Jun 30 '22 Wholesome

felt needed to post that their channel on twitch plays it 24/7 let’s get eliminated!!

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u/PixelD303 Jun 30 '22

This needs more attention.

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '22

Gaijin don't even know about Takeshi's Castle 😤

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u/Anomalous-Entity Jun 30 '22

Most gaikokujin see the scroll on MXC credits that says that it was originally from Takeshi's Castle. That bit kind of clues them in. 😲

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u/crotch_fondler Jun 30 '22

They're bringing MXC back! Well, the original Japanese show (Takeshi's Castle) anyway. They were recruiting for contestants recently in Tokyo.

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u/MTgirlFLworld Jun 30 '22

Mxc was the best show ever! I used to laugh soooo hard at that!!!! The american attempt at copying is so dumb.

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u/LushSemiconductor Jun 30 '22

It's clearly not even trying too.

Just doing it in a chill fashion

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u/Grossegurke Jun 30 '22

"Wake me up when you come up with a real course."

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/johnnyma45 Jun 30 '22

The smile too - like he knew he was being introduced.

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u/ShitwareEngineer Jun 30 '22 edited Jun 30 '22

For chimps, smiles don't express happiness. For them, a smile is you showing them your teeth and challenging them to a fight. You will not win this fight. You will be mutilated beyond recognition and you will wish for death the entire time. They go for the eyes and genitals first. Chimpanzees are not good pets.

edit: apparently wrong with the smiling thing

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Spankety-wank Jun 30 '22

I don't know where you are getting this from. The chimp "smile" is used to increase social affiliation and communicate benign intent.

This is probably homologous with other primates where bared teeth is used to communicate submissiveness. The more hierarchical the social structure, the more it is about submissiveness.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2555422/

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u/Talking_Head Jun 30 '22

You watched that whole video and your biggest surprise was that a chimpanzee could be trained to press a button? They are incredibly intelligent. They communicate complex thoughts, use tools, and can problem solve.

It wouldn’t take him long to realize that he wasn’t getting a slice of watermelon unless he mashed that button first.

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u/DoYouSeeMeEatingMice Jun 30 '22

fuck i spend 40 hours a week mashing buttons, no one ever gives me watermelon and i didn't notice until you mentioned it.

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u/justafurry Jun 30 '22

You can use the currency to get many watermelon

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u/EnchantingAccuracy Jun 30 '22

To us it is an obstacle course; to him, it is just a Tuesday.

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u/ClammyGallantry Jun 30 '22

You mean to tell me that all the Ninja Warrior contestants were just trying to return to monke?

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u/SH4DOWSTR1KE_ Jun 30 '22

The thing that's really got to hurt the ego more is the fact that this monkey wasn't even trying and still completed it without even being tired

5.1k

u/Snl1738 Jun 30 '22

Chimps are more athletic than us even though they are short

4.3k

u/SH4DOWSTR1KE_ Jun 30 '22 Helpful

You ever see a photo of the chimp who had a hair loss issue? Dude was more jacked than Mr Universe. They are walking Greek statues under the fur

2.0k

u/FuckBotsHaveRights Jun 30 '22

Never underestimate something that can rip off your testicles

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u/logosobscura Jun 30 '22

And think it was funny. One thing to be emasculated, another for them to be playing tennis with your balls a few seconds later.

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u/JBthrizzle Jun 30 '22

and then they fucking eat you afterwards. chimp warfare is brutal as fuck. remove you, genetically, from the competition first and remove you completely afterwards.

426

u/MASTODON_ROCKS Jun 30 '22

Reading this makes me want to sharpen a stick

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u/JBthrizzle Jun 30 '22

Rocky Mountain Oysters bro

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u/75nightprowler Jun 30 '22

I see you’ve heard of the great Gombe Chimpanzee War of 1974

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u/pedestrianpinniped Jun 30 '22

Not just can do it, Face and testicles are their primary fucking targets. And they have opposable thumbs on their feet. So they can literally hold both your arms while biting your face off and simultaneously be ripping off your testicles with two "hands"

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u/DillieDally Jun 30 '22

And they have opposable thumbs on their feet. So they can literally hold both your arms while biting your face off and simultaneously be ripping off your testicles with two "hands"

How did I not realize this before. So us humans aren't at the top of the pyramid when it comes to opposable thumbs. We only have 2, but it sounds like chimps have 4?? That's nuts haha

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u/skewljanitor57 Jun 30 '22

Opposable thumbs aren't what separate us and make us superior tool makers.

Its that dexterous ability between our thumbs and fingers. Like being able to touch your thumb to every one of your other fingers. No other primate can do that.

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u/Doggydog123579 Jun 30 '22

Like being able to touch your thumb to every one of your other fingers

Thats uh.. thats what opposable thumbs means.

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u/bobnla14 Jun 30 '22

Trust me, for some redditors, this needed to be explained with an example.

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u/the_fickle_pickle Jun 30 '22

Also walking upright and being able to run long distances. Our original weapon was chasing animals until they collapse and die.

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u/Hugsy13 Jun 30 '22

Yeah humans have the highest stamina of any land animal. We can literally powerwalk for a day or two if we have too.

Cheaters can run at 100km/h for 30s, any longer they will overheat and die.

Take your dog for a walk/run it’ll go nuts for an hour or so then eventually collapse then have a sleep.

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u/Altercation0 Jun 30 '22

Yeah but they can’t thread a needle

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u/Competitive-Pea-1767 Jun 30 '22

And arms, don't forget the legs too.

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u/rlwestern Jun 30 '22

Have you ever seen a hairless chimp? Jaime, pull that up. Look at that fucking thing. He’s fucking jacked. Imagine if they let chimps do MMA? We’d be fucked.

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u/PixelD303 Jun 30 '22

Even they would hate Dana White

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u/Leo_Bernard Jun 30 '22

Chimps would be smart enough to form a union.

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u/WannabeSage67 Jun 30 '22

Their muscles are way denser than ours as well so take that rippedness and multiply how strong you think it looks

On the flip side if it ever came to Man Vs Monke, if we get them in water they will suck balls at swimming compared to us because of their muscle density, lower body fat and not having been taught freestyle. That's where we get em boys.

Notwithstanding if planet of the apes happened I'd ask the monkes to defect

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u/winkofafisheye Jun 30 '22

They'll never beat a human in handwriting either. What we lost in muscle mass and density we gained in fine motor control and precision.

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u/an_adult_on_reddit Jun 30 '22 All-Seeing Upvote Bravo Grande!

You hear that monkeys?
𝔉𝔲𝔠𝔨 𝔶𝔬𝔲, 𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔪𝔭𝔰!

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u/ISaidGoodDey Jun 30 '22

Ah yes, and the pen is mightier than the sword

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u/Chained_Soul123 Jun 30 '22

Though i read, cause they all muscle no fat, they make a bad swimmer, sink like a rock

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u/Kanye_To_The Jun 30 '22

"Jamie, pull up that pic of the hairless chimp!"

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u/incrediblemonk Jun 30 '22

That's because they have no body fat. Watch this video. Scroll to 20 min in, if you don't want to watch the whole thing. She explains why humans are so "fat" compared to other mammals - fat feeds our enormous brains.

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u/CanNotBeTrustedAtAll Jun 30 '22

That's a shame, considering how so many humans appear to be so adverse towards using their enormous brains.

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u/DicmoVolant Jun 30 '22 edited Jun 30 '22

The average chimp is about 1.2 to 1.5 times stronger than the average human male (about the same difference between men and women on average), while average chimp body weight is about 44- 66% of what the average human male weighs.

They are FAR more athletic than we are.

Edit: Different definitions of athletic. I meant athletic to mean strong, fast, and powerful. Not long term endurance or dexterity. Guess I've been watching too much basketball lately.

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u/YobaiYamete Jun 30 '22

They are FAR more athletic than we are.

No, they just have different muscle structure and focus than us. Why do people struggle so hard to understand this?

Humans are not designed to twist trees apart with our bare hands, we are designed to sprint extremely long distances and throw objects extremely well.

A human can throw a spear, rock, or punch far, far more accurately and with more force than a chimp ever could, because our bodies and muscle structure is developed to do it. Google says a trained chimp can barely manage 20mph on a baseball throw. Humans like Prime Mike Tyson are estimated to punch with over 1,600 joules of force (which is over 1,200 PSI according to Google)

Like wise, a human that's in running shape can out sprint a chimp and leave them dead on the ground while the human is barely even tired, because our legs, buttocks, backs etc are all evolved for long distance sprinting.

They aren't more athletic than us, they are just built different and we focus on entirely different areas. I would say one isn't superior to the other, but that's not true. One strictly is superior and became the dominant species across the entire planet, because "Running really really really really really far and throwing pointing sticks at stuff" ended up being a tremendously more advantageous area to focus on and let us access better and better sources of food to further our brain development

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u/agray20938 Jun 30 '22

Yup — in each of those things, humans are basically the best of all animals at them.

In Tanzania, some people still hunt Kudu and Antelope the “traditional way,” which basically involves just constantly chasing after them with a spear for miles until they get too exhausted and just lay down.

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u/BlappyFlird Jun 30 '22

Its persistence hunting or endurance hunting. We humans are basically unbeatable at it because we have no fur and cool ourself by sweating. The vast majority of animals has to to slow down or even stop for cooling, which they cant while getting hunted.

Those people from Tanzania you speak about have optimized their hunting technique. They hunt during midday heat, often at temperatures over 38 °C. And they target large Kudu bulls. The bulls horns cause them to tire out more easily. Combined with the midday heat the hunting time can be reduced by up to 66%.

Fun fact: Persistence hunting has even been used against the fastest land animal, the cheetah. In November 2013, four Somali-Kenyan herdsmen from northeast Kenya successfully used persistence hunting in the heat of the day to capture cheetahs who had been killing their goats.

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u/greatsalteedude Jun 30 '22

I’m a little confused… joule is a unit of energy, and PSI is a unit of pressure, while the unit of force is newton orpdl?

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u/YobaiYamete Jun 30 '22

Yeah I also thought that was odd, when you google it all the results I found are in Joules and PSI

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u/woahdailo Jun 30 '22

Why do people struggle so hard to understand this?

I think you are struggling to understand that each person you have talked to on this subject is hearing this argument for the first time. You are not, in fact, repeating your argument to the same person every time.

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u/FrogInShorts Jun 30 '22

Mostly right but humans are terrible sprinters. A chimp can out sprint most but the top performing athletes because of their raw muscle output they can utilize. You mean endurance running not sprinting. Humans can out run any wild animal on earth given enough time. Even a horse. Which I would say is far more impressive than sprinting faster than a chimp

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u/Sparcrypt Jun 30 '22

They are FAR more athletic than we are.

Not even close actually, we're leagues ahead of them. They're just much stronger, whereas humans evolved for stamina and endurance. There are still tribes out there that hunt that way, quite literally running down their prey until it collapses.

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u/unique_username_8134 Jun 30 '22

It depends what you mean by athletic — they would wreck us in gymnastics or anything strength based, and we would win for endurance.

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u/piouiy Jun 30 '22

Some of us would. The average American or European? Hell no. Most people couldn’t even run a 5K

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u/Quirky-Skin Jun 30 '22

Big distinction there. Bc if we re talking average then an average chimp is more athletic than a human by a wide margin. The college level and above athletes of the planet could make a case though

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u/Sparcrypt Jun 30 '22

Chimps are more athletic stronger than us even though they are short

Be in decent shape and get in a running race with a chimp/any other non-human primate and you'll leave them in the dust. We swapped strength for stamina and those ninja courses require a huge amount of explosive strength.

It's why a gorilla could just lay about in the sun all week then get up, knock a prime Mike Tysons head off his shoulders, then go back to sleep.

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '22

Stamina and also fine motor control. Human's in decent physical shape with sticks hunt chimps as a staple food source after all

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u/wisdom_possibly Jun 30 '22

90% of ninja warrior is forearm strength, which chimpanzees have in spades.

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u/stormhunter2 Jun 30 '22

denser muscle fibers, less endurance, significantly stronger

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u/tavio_42 Jun 30 '22

Their body are better suited for this kind of things. There is no reason to hurt your ego, we just can't compete.

Anyway, if you want to boost your ego, as humans we are the best runner over long distances, almost no other animals is able to run a marathon.

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u/SH4DOWSTR1KE_ Jun 30 '22

Well the ego hit was more about the guys who were training for months on end to prove that they're the very best and then all of a sudden you see a chimpanzee just nonchalantly conquer the course without breaking a sweat.

I remember there was that show a couple years ago where they actually would have humans competing against animals and a strong man got his ass kicked by an orangutan in a game of tug of war.

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u/Serpidon Jun 30 '22

I saw a video of 3 muschleheads (maybe more) engaged in a tug-of-war with a female lion at a zoo. The lion was not even really trying and she was pulling the men forward steadily.

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u/SH4DOWSTR1KE_ Jun 30 '22

I heard about that one. We are definitely so far down the chain once you take away the tech Advantage we would normally have.

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u/theo1618 Jun 30 '22 edited Jun 30 '22

It’s not necessarily the tech advantage that keeps us high on the food chain. It’s the ability to form thoughts, be self aware, and problem solve instead of just following instincts that put us where we are.

But yes, those things are why technology exist

Edit: people are mentioning long term memory playing a big role in this as well which is most definitely true. I forgot to mention that one, how ironic lol

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u/GalacticVaquero Jun 30 '22

Id say problem solving coupled with language, and thus the generational accumulation of knowledge are our greatest strengths. Humanity as a whole gets to piggyback on the advancements of our ancestors more than any other creature. Once one guy figures out how to consistently make fire, the entire tribe knows. So his kids don’t need to invent fire themselves, they can get around to figuring out better ways to use it.

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u/dragunityag Jun 30 '22

Humans still fucked shit up with just sticks and stones.

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u/Quirky-Resource-1120 Jun 30 '22

Yeah, our ability to accurately throw projectiles made us really the only large animal with a ranged attack. Combine that with group hunting tactics and our unmatched distance running, and there's not much a single animal can do in response to being hunted by people.

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u/raido24 Jun 30 '22

I think in the video you're talking about, the lion had a considerable advantage, as the rope was angled in a way that made it very difficult for the men to pull.

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u/Swagganosaurus Jun 30 '22

We are also the most dexterious animal. One of the many reasons we are capable of making fine tools like no others. We traded strength for our hands dexterity

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u/Dkykngfetpic Jun 30 '22

We are also really good at throwing. A skilled human is lethal with a stone. Chimps can throw a ball when trained.

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u/Mechanical_Indian Jun 30 '22 edited Jun 30 '22

Anyway, if you want to boost your ego, as humans we are the best runner over long distances, almost no other animals is able to run a marathon.

Yeah, but I can't run a marathon.

Being part of the species who is best at one particular thing doesn't mean a whole lot if you can't do that thing. In a way, it kind of makes things worse.

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u/a_sentient_potatooo Jun 30 '22

Eh we’re also better at tool use and throwing objects.

You’ll demolish any other primate at darts easily.

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u/Generally_Kenobi Jun 30 '22

And humans used to be endurance hunters lol

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u/Uncle_Paul_Hargis Jun 30 '22

Well to be fair I think we are still superior at long distance running than a chimp. Chimps are way stronger by a huge margin, but I can't imagine a chimp even attempting to run flat out for 26 miles. Not saying I could do that right now, but humans in general are definitely capable of it, and if you grew up living that way, it would be very natural. For all of our similarities, there is still a massive difference between us and chimps.

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u/LerchAddams Jun 30 '22

"I could have totally destroyed the course record if i really wanted to...and i didn't have to wear pants."

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u/FlakeyGurl Jun 30 '22

Yea I was gonna say if the chimp understood the course was timed they may have done it even faster. XD

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u/Deeman0 Jun 30 '22

Little dude just strolled through it like it was nothin lol.

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u/Mega-Humanoid-ROBOT Jun 30 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote

For a little context. The fastest anyone has ever completed a ninja warrior course in the entire world, is 1:36.83; this chimp was a entire 30 seconds quicker than the world record.

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u/Songandsilence3 Jun 30 '22

I scrolled wayyyy too far for this

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u/8of9 Jun 30 '22

Too bad it isn't accurate

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u/Songandsilence3 Jun 30 '22

Source???

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u/Mediocre_Access_2432 Jun 30 '22

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u/robertodeltoro Jun 30 '22

This is not close to being as difficult as an American Ninja Warrior course. A whole section of this was basic schoolyard monkey-bars.

Times on an American Ninja Warrior courses aren't even comparable among themselves.

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u/Oo0o8o0oO Jun 30 '22

Yeah I can’t even imagine you could train a monkey on something like a salmon ladder.

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u/showponyoxidation Jun 30 '22

Same way you train a human.

Little steps and monkey see, monkey do.

The trick would be figuring out how to make the chimp want to do it.

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u/Darkness-MyOldFriend Jun 30 '22

Food rewards?

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u/Crazy_Kakoos Jun 30 '22 Wholesome

I might do it if the food was good.

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u/WarlockEngineer Jun 30 '22

Those courses look completely different from the video

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u/8of9 Jun 30 '22

See my other comment. The original commenter just googled "fastest ninja warrior time" and took the snippet that Google provided them, which came from this website which is about season 13 of American Ninja Warrior. Which is neither the fastest time ever, or in the entire world

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u/uwanmirrondarrah Jun 30 '22

This isn't actually the course that they used, even back then. The Ninja Warrior course has always had the warped wall. Which is a 14 foot tall curved wall. I can imagine why they didn't use it here, the monkey could probably do it but monkeys don't wear rubber bottom shoes and if he slipped it could really mess him up.

Also, times for the first few stages of NW are iffy because the course has been changed almost yearly for like 25 years. My source, I watched way too much G4TV growing up.

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u/idrc1 Jun 30 '22

I made it the fuck up

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u/BulletTooth_Tony1 Jun 30 '22

Bro this is a ninja warrior course from 1994

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '22 edited 29d ago

[deleted]

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u/ajr901 Jun 30 '22

Dude was casual asf

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u/Cacheevo Jun 30 '22

I don't think he was either, he spent a good seven seconds going down that last rope towards the button. It's still a lot faster than humans because he saved a lot of times in two areas. He was still able to climb the first rock wall about as fast as humanly possible. Second, he did the monkey bars (now you know why they are called that) at least two times faster than anyone else if I was guessing. He didn't even finish the monkey bars; he was fucking able to climb onto the support beams to reach the platform quicker.

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u/ghosttrainhobo Jun 30 '22

I bet with some training, conditioning and competition with a few other monkeys, you could get those times down into the 45 second range.

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '22

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u/Careful_Driver Jun 30 '22

This course looked mad easy.

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u/Larry_Linguini Jun 30 '22

Right? Even a monkey could do it.

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u/8of9 Jun 30 '22

Sorry, but not true. I see you Googled "fastest ninja warrior time" and blindly took the answer provided, which was sourced from this website, which is for season 13 of American Ninja Warrior: https://www.americanninjawarriornation.com/2021/9/30/22702508/american-ninja-warrior-2021-who-was-season-13s-fastest-ninja

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u/ohsopoor Jun 30 '22

Then can you reply with the actual quickest time?

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u/BetterCalldeGaulle Jun 30 '22

but the courses change all the time. So I think the fastest time on this specific course is what matters.

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u/Thetacoseer Jun 30 '22

This particular course, I assume you mean? Cuz people have done others in like 30 seconds. Googling was a little tough because from what I recall, there's a significant difference between the qualifying course and the main competition, but most websites don't make the distinction.

The 1:36:83 looks to be from a different course than what this monkey did too, I couldn't be bothered to watch the whole video, but I skipped to a part with a guy on red chin up bars. Didn't see anything like that with our athletic monkey friend on this video

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u/Kanye_To_The Jun 30 '22 edited Jun 30 '22

Source? Cause I think that's BS

Edit: yeah, I just watched some guy do a speed run of one course in 13 seconds

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u/DerErlking Jun 30 '22

You pulled this out of your ass. This is an easy course by ninja warrior standards.

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u/cascadianpatriot Jun 30 '22

And he was so chill during the whole thing. Just ambling along on parts of it.

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u/HydrogenButterflies Jun 30 '22

Dude absolutely crushed the monkey bars.

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u/IDoPokeSmot Jun 29 '22

This proves that if a planet of the ape type scenario was to occur we'd be so screwed.

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u/eltanin_33 Jun 30 '22

Having high dexterity and strength doesn't save you from bullets. If they got our guns though......

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u/lulububudu Jun 30 '22

And our brains….We’re screwed.

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u/mambiki Jun 30 '22

That’d just be us then, if they got our brains.

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u/lulububudu Jun 30 '22

More like superheroes lol Damn, now I want to see a movie where they’re the Superheroes with all of the powers and we’re just…us.

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u/mambiki Jun 30 '22

Physical strength depends on your central nervous system, like literally. So if we swap the brains (and I assume the whole CNS, since it’s part of the same system) they will likely lose a lot of physical strength too.

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u/lulububudu Jun 30 '22

Noooooooooooooooo

So like maybe just the part that would make them smarter.

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u/mambiki Jun 30 '22

Neocortex? Hmmm, maybe that’ll work. Anyway, we gotta get going Morty.

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u/BornInNipple Jun 30 '22

lol its so easy to get a gun, a monkey could probably walk up to a walmart buy a gun and leave.

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '22

I know people don’t like Joe Rogan these days but this is still one of the funniest sequences talking about apes lol

https://youtu.be/AJuxdPwLJDE

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u/bezosdrone Jun 30 '22 Gold

To a chimp, this is just Tuesday.

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u/Dualiuss Jun 30 '22

for you, when the chimp graced the course, it was the most important day of your life

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u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

That thing will eat your face are remove your genitals if you make it mad. Thread carefully.

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u/Troll_Gob Jun 30 '22 Wholesome

Yeth, Thir!

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u/80sBadGuy Jun 30 '22

He only made a thimple mithtake.

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u/Furimbus Jun 30 '22

He has a wife, you know. Do you know what she’s called?

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u/Cyclone142005 Jun 30 '22

ah yes the good ol' "Monkey will rip your face off" comment on every monkey related post.

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u/Weekly_Finish1960 Jun 30 '22 Helpful Wholesome

That's a real chimpion.

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u/Sweet_Chef4812 Jun 29 '22

He killed it on the monkey bars. (I know, if it doesn't have a tail it's not a monkey)

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u/Competitive-Pea-1767 Jun 30 '22

It's an ape

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u/zj_y33t Jun 30 '22

You're an ape

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u/Aggressive_Wash_5908 Jun 30 '22

Stop monkeying around we've got work to do

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u/Crownlol Jun 30 '22

I noticed that too, I was like "damn he's killing it" then "well that makes sense" then "well akshually'd" myself

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u/B1rdi Jun 30 '22

Most stable redditor

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u/Michael-80 Jun 30 '22

Who made him wear pants?

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u/mister-ferguson Jun 30 '22 Silver

Imagine how much faster he would be without them.

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u/calor Jun 30 '22

It's Japan

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u/iRan_soFar Jun 30 '22 I'll Drink to That

So pixelate the genitalia.

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u/JoZaJaB Jun 29 '22

Whose idea was this

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u/AJ45P3R Jun 29 '22

This needs the Donkey Kong Country music in the background

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u/8Gh0st8 Jun 30 '22 edited Jun 30 '22

That entire game's soundtrack was gold. Mine Cart Carnage was my favorite level music. Here's two awesome remixes of that song done in two completely different styles:

https://youtu.be/0D5jYQDZR5Q

https://youtu.be/jS_Oe4j0_xY

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u/daryon_ Jun 30 '22

those cameramen are praying that the chimp doesn't decide to abandon the race course

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u/Affectionate-Ad-1494 Jun 29 '22

I thought for a second that the monkey was CG 😂

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u/CommonCentsEh Jun 30 '22

Is it not CGI? Some motions in particular and camera angle choices made me think it was.

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u/Jaba01 Jun 30 '22

This is very old. 1994. Do you think CGI from 1994 would look this good?

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '22 Helpful

[deleted]

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u/EquipmentKind7855 Jun 29 '22 edited Jun 30 '22

I saw the video and was like “eh its just a monkey”

then i read the title.

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u/SendMeYourMixtape Jun 30 '22

"Just a monkey" ...

What kind of mammal are you?!

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u/QuackAtomic Jun 30 '22

Didn't realize he was wearing gym shorts until halfway through

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u/akzorx Jun 30 '22

That chimp is probably just thinking "Wait this is a challenge for you naked apes? I was just having fun!"

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u/Daddycakes420 Jun 30 '22

He hit the fuckin time button too 😂 so awesome

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u/lumberjake1 Jun 30 '22

Any idea what the human times were?

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u/LoupGarou95 Jun 30 '22

The fastest time on any Ninja Warrior course is 1:36 I think to this day. The chimp blew that out of the water and didn't even appear to be ina particular hurry.

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u/fomolom0 Jun 30 '22

This is much much shorter however

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u/jaz47z Jun 30 '22

Ninja Warrior is so easy even a monkey can do it…. :P

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u/gte717v Jun 30 '22

Let’s remember that’s this isn’t a mature chimp. Full grown chimps are literally too strong to interact with in person. A motivated male would probably blitz this course in half the time or less.

YouTube has a video of two adult chimps chasing down a freakin spider monkey in a tree and eating it. Next level stuff.

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