r/nextfuckinglevel
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u/ThatPoetry4
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Jun 29 '22
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A chimpanzee doing the Ninja Warrior course in Japan
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u/SH4DOWSTR1KE_ Jun 30 '22
The thing that's really got to hurt the ego more is the fact that this monkey wasn't even trying and still completed it without even being tired
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u/Snl1738 Jun 30 '22
Chimps are more athletic than us even though they are short
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u/SH4DOWSTR1KE_ Jun 30 '22 •
You ever see a photo of the chimp who had a hair loss issue? Dude was more jacked than Mr Universe. They are walking Greek statues under the fur
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u/FuckBotsHaveRights Jun 30 '22
Never underestimate something that can rip off your testicles
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u/logosobscura Jun 30 '22
And think it was funny. One thing to be emasculated, another for them to be playing tennis with your balls a few seconds later.
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u/JBthrizzle Jun 30 '22
and then they fucking eat you afterwards. chimp warfare is brutal as fuck. remove you, genetically, from the competition first and remove you completely afterwards.
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u/75nightprowler Jun 30 '22
I see you’ve heard of the great Gombe Chimpanzee War of 1974
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u/pedestrianpinniped Jun 30 '22
Not just can do it, Face and testicles are their primary fucking targets. And they have opposable thumbs on their feet. So they can literally hold both your arms while biting your face off and simultaneously be ripping off your testicles with two "hands"
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u/DillieDally Jun 30 '22
And they have opposable thumbs on their feet. So they can literally hold both your arms while biting your face off and simultaneously be ripping off your testicles with two "hands"
How did I not realize this before. So us humans aren't at the top of the pyramid when it comes to opposable thumbs. We only have 2, but it sounds like chimps have 4?? That's nuts haha
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u/skewljanitor57 Jun 30 '22
Opposable thumbs aren't what separate us and make us superior tool makers.
Its that dexterous ability between our thumbs and fingers. Like being able to touch your thumb to every one of your other fingers. No other primate can do that.
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u/Doggydog123579 Jun 30 '22
Like being able to touch your thumb to every one of your other fingers
Thats uh.. thats what opposable thumbs means.
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u/bobnla14 Jun 30 '22
Trust me, for some redditors, this needed to be explained with an example.
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u/the_fickle_pickle Jun 30 '22
Also walking upright and being able to run long distances. Our original weapon was chasing animals until they collapse and die.
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u/Hugsy13 Jun 30 '22
Yeah humans have the highest stamina of any land animal. We can literally powerwalk for a day or two if we have too.
Cheaters can run at 100km/h for 30s, any longer they will overheat and die.
Take your dog for a walk/run it’ll go nuts for an hour or so then eventually collapse then have a sleep.
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u/rlwestern Jun 30 '22
Have you ever seen a hairless chimp? Jaime, pull that up. Look at that fucking thing. He’s fucking jacked. Imagine if they let chimps do MMA? We’d be fucked.
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u/WannabeSage67 Jun 30 '22
Their muscles are way denser than ours as well so take that rippedness and multiply how strong you think it looks
On the flip side if it ever came to Man Vs Monke, if we get them in water they will suck balls at swimming compared to us because of their muscle density, lower body fat and not having been taught freestyle. That's where we get em boys.
Notwithstanding if planet of the apes happened I'd ask the monkes to defect
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u/winkofafisheye Jun 30 '22
They'll never beat a human in handwriting either. What we lost in muscle mass and density we gained in fine motor control and precision.
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u/Chained_Soul123 Jun 30 '22
Though i read, cause they all muscle no fat, they make a bad swimmer, sink like a rock
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u/incrediblemonk Jun 30 '22
That's because they have no body fat. Watch this video. Scroll to 20 min in, if you don't want to watch the whole thing. She explains why humans are so "fat" compared to other mammals - fat feeds our enormous brains.
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u/CanNotBeTrustedAtAll Jun 30 '22
That's a shame, considering how so many humans appear to be so adverse towards using their enormous brains.
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u/DicmoVolant Jun 30 '22 edited Jun 30 '22
The average chimp is about 1.2 to 1.5 times stronger than the average human male (about the same difference between men and women on average), while average chimp body weight is about 44- 66% of what the average human male weighs.
They are FAR more athletic than we are.
Edit: Different definitions of athletic. I meant athletic to mean strong, fast, and powerful. Not long term endurance or dexterity. Guess I've been watching too much basketball lately.
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u/YobaiYamete Jun 30 '22
They are FAR more athletic than we are.
No, they just have different muscle structure and focus than us. Why do people struggle so hard to understand this?
Humans are not designed to twist trees apart with our bare hands, we are designed to sprint extremely long distances and throw objects extremely well.
A human can throw a spear, rock, or punch far, far more accurately and with more force than a chimp ever could, because our bodies and muscle structure is developed to do it. Google says a trained chimp can barely manage 20mph on a baseball throw. Humans like Prime Mike Tyson are estimated to punch with over 1,600 joules of force (which is over 1,200 PSI according to Google)
Like wise, a human that's in running shape can out sprint a chimp and leave them dead on the ground while the human is barely even tired, because our legs, buttocks, backs etc are all evolved for long distance sprinting.
They aren't more athletic than us, they are just built different and we focus on entirely different areas. I would say one isn't superior to the other, but that's not true. One strictly is superior and became the dominant species across the entire planet, because "Running really really really really really far and throwing pointing sticks at stuff" ended up being a tremendously more advantageous area to focus on and let us access better and better sources of food to further our brain development
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u/agray20938 Jun 30 '22
Yup — in each of those things, humans are basically the best of all animals at them.
In Tanzania, some people still hunt Kudu and Antelope the “traditional way,” which basically involves just constantly chasing after them with a spear for miles until they get too exhausted and just lay down.
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u/BlappyFlird Jun 30 '22
Its persistence hunting or endurance hunting. We humans are basically unbeatable at it because we have no fur and cool ourself by sweating. The vast majority of animals has to to slow down or even stop for cooling, which they cant while getting hunted.
Those people from Tanzania you speak about have optimized their hunting technique. They hunt during midday heat, often at temperatures over 38 °C. And they target large Kudu bulls. The bulls horns cause them to tire out more easily. Combined with the midday heat the hunting time can be reduced by up to 66%.
Fun fact: Persistence hunting has even been used against the fastest land animal, the cheetah. In November 2013, four Somali-Kenyan herdsmen from northeast Kenya successfully used persistence hunting in the heat of the day to capture cheetahs who had been killing their goats.
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u/greatsalteedude Jun 30 '22
I’m a little confused… joule is a unit of energy, and PSI is a unit of pressure, while the unit of force is newton orpdl?
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u/YobaiYamete Jun 30 '22
Yeah I also thought that was odd, when you google it all the results I found are in Joules and PSI
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u/woahdailo Jun 30 '22
Why do people struggle so hard to understand this?
I think you are struggling to understand that each person you have talked to on this subject is hearing this argument for the first time. You are not, in fact, repeating your argument to the same person every time.
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u/FrogInShorts Jun 30 '22
Mostly right but humans are terrible sprinters. A chimp can out sprint most but the top performing athletes because of their raw muscle output they can utilize. You mean endurance running not sprinting. Humans can out run any wild animal on earth given enough time. Even a horse. Which I would say is far more impressive than sprinting faster than a chimp
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u/Sparcrypt Jun 30 '22
They are FAR more athletic than we are.
Not even close actually, we're leagues ahead of them. They're just much stronger, whereas humans evolved for stamina and endurance. There are still tribes out there that hunt that way, quite literally running down their prey until it collapses.
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u/unique_username_8134 Jun 30 '22
It depends what you mean by athletic — they would wreck us in gymnastics or anything strength based, and we would win for endurance.
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u/piouiy Jun 30 '22
Some of us would. The average American or European? Hell no. Most people couldn’t even run a 5K
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u/Quirky-Skin Jun 30 '22
Big distinction there. Bc if we re talking average then an average chimp is more athletic than a human by a wide margin. The college level and above athletes of the planet could make a case though
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u/Sparcrypt Jun 30 '22
Chimps are
more athleticstronger than us even though they are shortBe in decent shape and get in a running race with a chimp/any other non-human primate and you'll leave them in the dust. We swapped strength for stamina and those ninja courses require a huge amount of explosive strength.
It's why a gorilla could just lay about in the sun all week then get up, knock a prime Mike Tysons head off his shoulders, then go back to sleep.
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Jun 30 '22
Stamina and also fine motor control. Human's in decent physical shape with sticks hunt chimps as a staple food source after all
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u/wisdom_possibly Jun 30 '22
90% of ninja warrior is forearm strength, which chimpanzees have in spades.
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u/stormhunter2 Jun 30 '22
denser muscle fibers, less endurance, significantly stronger
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u/tavio_42 Jun 30 '22
Their body are better suited for this kind of things. There is no reason to hurt your ego, we just can't compete.
Anyway, if you want to boost your ego, as humans we are the best runner over long distances, almost no other animals is able to run a marathon.
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u/SH4DOWSTR1KE_ Jun 30 '22
Well the ego hit was more about the guys who were training for months on end to prove that they're the very best and then all of a sudden you see a chimpanzee just nonchalantly conquer the course without breaking a sweat.
I remember there was that show a couple years ago where they actually would have humans competing against animals and a strong man got his ass kicked by an orangutan in a game of tug of war.
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u/Serpidon Jun 30 '22
I saw a video of 3 muschleheads (maybe more) engaged in a tug-of-war with a female lion at a zoo. The lion was not even really trying and she was pulling the men forward steadily.
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u/SH4DOWSTR1KE_ Jun 30 '22
I heard about that one. We are definitely so far down the chain once you take away the tech Advantage we would normally have.
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u/theo1618 Jun 30 '22 edited Jun 30 '22
It’s not necessarily the tech advantage that keeps us high on the food chain. It’s the ability to form thoughts, be self aware, and problem solve instead of just following instincts that put us where we are.
But yes, those things are why technology exist
Edit: people are mentioning long term memory playing a big role in this as well which is most definitely true. I forgot to mention that one, how ironic lol
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u/GalacticVaquero Jun 30 '22
Id say problem solving coupled with language, and thus the generational accumulation of knowledge are our greatest strengths. Humanity as a whole gets to piggyback on the advancements of our ancestors more than any other creature. Once one guy figures out how to consistently make fire, the entire tribe knows. So his kids don’t need to invent fire themselves, they can get around to figuring out better ways to use it.
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u/dragunityag Jun 30 '22
Humans still fucked shit up with just sticks and stones.
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u/Quirky-Resource-1120 Jun 30 '22
Yeah, our ability to accurately throw projectiles made us really the only large animal with a ranged attack. Combine that with group hunting tactics and our unmatched distance running, and there's not much a single animal can do in response to being hunted by people.
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u/raido24 Jun 30 '22
I think in the video you're talking about, the lion had a considerable advantage, as the rope was angled in a way that made it very difficult for the men to pull.
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u/Swagganosaurus Jun 30 '22
We are also the most dexterious animal. One of the many reasons we are capable of making fine tools like no others. We traded strength for our hands dexterity
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u/Dkykngfetpic Jun 30 '22
We are also really good at throwing. A skilled human is lethal with a stone. Chimps can throw a ball when trained.
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u/Mechanical_Indian Jun 30 '22 edited Jun 30 '22
Anyway, if you want to boost your ego, as humans we are the best runner over long distances, almost no other animals is able to run a marathon.
Yeah, but I can't run a marathon.
Being part of the species who is best at one particular thing doesn't mean a whole lot if you can't do that thing. In a way, it kind of makes things worse.
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u/a_sentient_potatooo Jun 30 '22
Eh we’re also better at tool use and throwing objects.
You’ll demolish any other primate at darts easily.
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u/Generally_Kenobi Jun 30 '22
And humans used to be endurance hunters lol
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u/Uncle_Paul_Hargis Jun 30 '22
Well to be fair I think we are still superior at long distance running than a chimp. Chimps are way stronger by a huge margin, but I can't imagine a chimp even attempting to run flat out for 26 miles. Not saying I could do that right now, but humans in general are definitely capable of it, and if you grew up living that way, it would be very natural. For all of our similarities, there is still a massive difference between us and chimps.
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u/LerchAddams Jun 30 '22
"I could have totally destroyed the course record if i really wanted to...and i didn't have to wear pants."
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u/FlakeyGurl Jun 30 '22
Yea I was gonna say if the chimp understood the course was timed they may have done it even faster. XD
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u/Mega-Humanoid-ROBOT
Jun 30 '22
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For a little context. The fastest anyone has ever completed a ninja warrior course in the entire world, is 1:36.83; this chimp was a entire 30 seconds quicker than the world record.
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u/Songandsilence3 Jun 30 '22
I scrolled wayyyy too far for this
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u/8of9 Jun 30 '22
Too bad it isn't accurate
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u/Songandsilence3 Jun 30 '22
Source???
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u/Mediocre_Access_2432 Jun 30 '22
Seems like the first person is right for last season https://www.americanninjawarriornation.com/2021/9/30/22702508/american-ninja-warrior-2021-who-was-season-13s-fastest-ninja
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u/robertodeltoro Jun 30 '22
This is not close to being as difficult as an American Ninja Warrior course. A whole section of this was basic schoolyard monkey-bars.
Times on an American Ninja Warrior courses aren't even comparable among themselves.
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u/Oo0o8o0oO Jun 30 '22
Yeah I can’t even imagine you could train a monkey on something like a salmon ladder.
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u/showponyoxidation Jun 30 '22
Same way you train a human.
Little steps and monkey see, monkey do.
The trick would be figuring out how to make the chimp want to do it.
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u/8of9 Jun 30 '22
See my other comment. The original commenter just googled "fastest ninja warrior time" and took the snippet that Google provided them, which came from this website which is about season 13 of American Ninja Warrior. Which is neither the fastest time ever, or in the entire world
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u/uwanmirrondarrah Jun 30 '22
This isn't actually the course that they used, even back then. The Ninja Warrior course has always had the warped wall. Which is a 14 foot tall curved wall. I can imagine why they didn't use it here, the monkey could probably do it but monkeys don't wear rubber bottom shoes and if he slipped it could really mess him up.
Also, times for the first few stages of NW are iffy because the course has been changed almost yearly for like 25 years. My source, I watched way too much G4TV growing up.
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Jun 30 '22 edited 29d ago
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u/Cacheevo Jun 30 '22
I don't think he was either, he spent a good seven seconds going down that last rope towards the button. It's still a lot faster than humans because he saved a lot of times in two areas. He was still able to climb the first rock wall about as fast as humanly possible. Second, he did the monkey bars (now you know why they are called that) at least two times faster than anyone else if I was guessing. He didn't even finish the monkey bars; he was fucking able to climb onto the support beams to reach the platform quicker.
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u/ghosttrainhobo Jun 30 '22
I bet with some training, conditioning and competition with a few other monkeys, you could get those times down into the 45 second range.
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Jun 30 '22
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u/8of9 Jun 30 '22
Sorry, but not true. I see you Googled "fastest ninja warrior time" and blindly took the answer provided, which was sourced from this website, which is for season 13 of American Ninja Warrior: https://www.americanninjawarriornation.com/2021/9/30/22702508/american-ninja-warrior-2021-who-was-season-13s-fastest-ninja
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u/BetterCalldeGaulle Jun 30 '22
but the courses change all the time. So I think the fastest time on this specific course is what matters.
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u/Thetacoseer Jun 30 '22
This particular course, I assume you mean? Cuz people have done others in like 30 seconds. Googling was a little tough because from what I recall, there's a significant difference between the qualifying course and the main competition, but most websites don't make the distinction.
The 1:36:83 looks to be from a different course than what this monkey did too, I couldn't be bothered to watch the whole video, but I skipped to a part with a guy on red chin up bars. Didn't see anything like that with our athletic monkey friend on this video
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u/Kanye_To_The Jun 30 '22 edited Jun 30 '22
Source? Cause I think that's BS
Edit: yeah, I just watched some guy do a speed run of one course in 13 seconds
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u/DerErlking Jun 30 '22
You pulled this out of your ass. This is an easy course by ninja warrior standards.
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u/cascadianpatriot Jun 30 '22
And he was so chill during the whole thing. Just ambling along on parts of it.
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u/IDoPokeSmot Jun 29 '22
This proves that if a planet of the ape type scenario was to occur we'd be so screwed.
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u/eltanin_33 Jun 30 '22
Having high dexterity and strength doesn't save you from bullets. If they got our guns though......
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u/lulububudu Jun 30 '22
And our brains….We’re screwed.
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u/mambiki Jun 30 '22
That’d just be us then, if they got our brains.
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u/lulububudu Jun 30 '22
More like superheroes lol Damn, now I want to see a movie where they’re the Superheroes with all of the powers and we’re just…us.
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u/mambiki Jun 30 '22
Physical strength depends on your central nervous system, like literally. So if we swap the brains (and I assume the whole CNS, since it’s part of the same system) they will likely lose a lot of physical strength too.
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u/lulububudu Jun 30 '22
Noooooooooooooooo
So like maybe just the part that would make them smarter.
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u/mambiki Jun 30 '22
Neocortex? Hmmm, maybe that’ll work. Anyway, we gotta get going Morty.
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u/BornInNipple Jun 30 '22
lol its so easy to get a gun, a monkey could probably walk up to a walmart buy a gun and leave.
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Jun 30 '22
I know people don’t like Joe Rogan these days but this is still one of the funniest sequences talking about apes lol
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u/bezosdrone
Jun 30 '22
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To a chimp, this is just Tuesday.
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u/Dualiuss Jun 30 '22
for you, when the chimp graced the course, it was the most important day of your life
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Jun 29 '22
That thing will eat your face are remove your genitals if you make it mad. Thread carefully.
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u/Troll_Gob Jun 30 '22 •
Yeth, Thir!
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u/Cyclone142005 Jun 30 '22
ah yes the good ol' "Monkey will rip your face off" comment on every monkey related post.
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u/Sweet_Chef4812 Jun 29 '22
He killed it on the monkey bars. (I know, if it doesn't have a tail it's not a monkey)
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u/Competitive-Pea-1767 Jun 30 '22
It's an ape
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u/Crownlol Jun 30 '22
I noticed that too, I was like "damn he's killing it" then "well that makes sense" then "well akshually'd" myself
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u/Michael-80 Jun 30 '22
Who made him wear pants?
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u/AJ45P3R Jun 29 '22
This needs the Donkey Kong Country music in the background
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u/8Gh0st8 Jun 30 '22 edited Jun 30 '22
That entire game's soundtrack was gold. Mine Cart Carnage was my favorite level music. Here's two awesome remixes of that song done in two completely different styles:
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u/daryon_ Jun 30 '22
those cameramen are praying that the chimp doesn't decide to abandon the race course
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u/Affectionate-Ad-1494 Jun 29 '22
I thought for a second that the monkey was CG 😂
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u/CommonCentsEh Jun 30 '22
Is it not CGI? Some motions in particular and camera angle choices made me think it was.
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u/Jaba01 Jun 30 '22
This is very old. 1994. Do you think CGI from 1994 would look this good?
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u/EquipmentKind7855 Jun 29 '22 edited Jun 30 '22
I saw the video and was like “eh its just a monkey”
then i read the title.
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u/QuackAtomic Jun 30 '22
Didn't realize he was wearing gym shorts until halfway through
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u/akzorx Jun 30 '22
That chimp is probably just thinking "Wait this is a challenge for you naked apes? I was just having fun!"
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u/lumberjake1 Jun 30 '22
Any idea what the human times were?
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u/LoupGarou95 Jun 30 '22
The fastest time on any Ninja Warrior course is 1:36 I think to this day. The chimp blew that out of the water and didn't even appear to be ina particular hurry.
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u/gte717v Jun 30 '22
Let’s remember that’s this isn’t a mature chimp. Full grown chimps are literally too strong to interact with in person. A motivated male would probably blitz this course in half the time or less.
YouTube has a video of two adult chimps chasing down a freakin spider monkey in a tree and eating it. Next level stuff.
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u/Feeling-Tutor-6480 Jun 29 '22
God damn japanese game shows are wacky