r/nottheonion Jul 27 '21

Covid 19 coronavirus: Women are claiming 'boobs get bigger' after having Pfizer jab

https://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/covid-19-coronavirus-women-are-claiming-boobs-get-bigger-after-having-pfizer-jab/U2HXMBBCYSWOMLTONGZGX5WADY/
4k Upvotes

2k

u/ParlorTricksComedy Jul 27 '21

Pfizer: "Where every pill is a boner pill, one way or another"

397

u/m0nday1 Jul 27 '21

Ngl I’m waiting for ppl to start going full Parks & Rec with the vaccine - advertising it TH-style as a “party for your immune system,” or else just saying that it “is guaranteed to remove all microchips” Bc that’s the only way ppl will take it.

We will then have reached peak surreality.

58

u/Deto Jul 27 '21

else just saying that it “is guaranteed to remove all microchips”

This is a good strategy! If there are people that will believe anything, and want to believe crazy things, just give them other conspiracies.

Tell them that aliens have already come to earth, and have microchipped all of us and the world governments have just learned of this. They don't want to panic the population so they are disguising the cure as a vaccine for Covid.

68

u/bental Jul 27 '21

I remember reading a post from a doctor that found the best way to get a conspiracy theorist to give their child their vaccines was to tell them that the anti-vax theory was a conspiracy by the Chinese to weaken the American population

57

u/Arya_kidding_me Jul 27 '21 edited Jul 27 '21

I’m sorry to go full tin-foil hat on you…. But…..

Russians are actually responsible, and it’s sadly not a conspiracy theory.

https://www.wsj.com/amp/articles/russian-disinformation-campaign-aims-to-undermine-confidence-in-pfizer-other-covid-19-vaccines-u-s-officials-say-11615129200

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6137759/

It’s part of a larger campaign to destabilize the west and regain influence, as laid out in The Foundations of Geopolitics

They are a huge part of the reason America has become so polarized we can barely function anymore. Oh and Brexit.

13

u/charlesfire Jul 27 '21

Here in Canada, we fear that we might be the next target.

5

u/Ragnar_Dragonfyre Jul 28 '21

Canada is already in the crosshairs too.

We are absolutely being targeted by a foreign psy-ops campaign designed to unravel the very foundation of our society.

Our social cohesion is coming apart and it’s no mistake or accident. It’s a deliberate effort.

2

u/peachy-puff Aug 05 '21

Canada fought off the Americans twice. As an American, I have faith that you guys will be the last ones standing. Don't let us down.

5

u/BaltySalls Jul 28 '21

funny how everyone ignores the real, well documented conspiracy that is actually unfolding right now and having a direct effect on so many people.

well, its just not sensacional enough, its russia beeing russia, right? Billionaire trying to take over the would in a very complicated and intricate way that is obviously not necessary? hell yeah!

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u/rainer_d Jul 29 '21

From my point of view, the West is doing a pretty good job at destabilizing itself even without the Russians.

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u/BlooperHero Jul 28 '21

If you hold a potato against the jab side for 30 seconds within four hours of the vaccination, it will draw out all the toxins. And microchips, why not?

6

u/Deto Jul 27 '21

Hah, I love it. Doctors tend to be a very pragmatic bunch.

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u/OohYeahOrADragon Jul 27 '21

just give them other conspiracies.

Ngl, and maybe I'm a part of the problem, but I lowkey might've convinced my hairdresser by doing just that. She told the whole hair shop that she doesn't trust that it's safe and what if there's side effects later on and "you know they did that with the Tuskegee experiment" (we're all Black).

I could've explained the process of mRNA Vaccines. Hell I use to do research for a while.. instead I said "I trust it. You know why? Cause all the rich people were paying top dollar in December when it came out. You think they'd take it first thing if it was untrustworthy? No instead rich people were tryna cut the line behind closed doors. That's why we couldn't get a vaccine appointment before April"

Now she's upset at rich people for getting away with trying to hide it from us and mad that she didn't realize it sooner. I mentioned Publix had free walk-ins so maybe that'll be enough.

31

u/Deto Jul 27 '21

Meh, the way I feel is:

long term - we need to fight this stuff with better education

short term - whatever can get people to take the vaccine

24

u/BlooperHero Jul 28 '21

short term - whatever can get people to take the vaccine

Dart gun.

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17

u/Arya_kidding_me Jul 27 '21

Fucking genius

12

u/maowoo Jul 27 '21

It is sad that it took that is a serious suggestion.

And then thought it was a good idea...

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u/heliumeyes Jul 27 '21

What episode/season is this? I don’t remember it.

54

u/inspector_number_555 Jul 27 '21

Season 6 episode 8. Google Tdazzle for clips

37

u/Ricky_Rollin Jul 27 '21

It’s a oral experience that’s basically a party in your mouth.

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u/sonicallyadept Jul 27 '21

Oh my God. That shirt is so blue!

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u/isinedupcuzofrslash Jul 27 '21

I’ve waited so long for someone worthy of my free award

8

u/Mindris Jul 27 '21

He definitely deserves it.

84

u/O_X_E_Y Jul 27 '21

There's even some truth in this since the chances of getting ED from covid are pretty high

39

u/ShieldsCW Jul 27 '21

I first read this as you saying that the vaccine causes ED, and was wondering why the hell you were getting upvoted lol

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u/ParlorTricksComedy Jul 27 '21

Right! Get your boner jab!

12

u/techtonic69 Jul 27 '21

Stop spreading misinformation. The study people link for this was based on elderly who already were getting treatment for ED.

10

u/TallAardvark1251 Jul 27 '21

Wait-is this the study from Italy? I saw one where they interviewed men who had covid and men who never did have covid and found that the men with previous covid infections were like 5x likelier to be having ED, but I haven’t looked into it a ton since. I did see the more recent one where they found covid particles in two men’s penises who were getting treated for ED but I agree that is a super small/unreliable sample size to actually draw conclusions from.

7

u/O_X_E_Y Jul 27 '21

I was talking about the one from Italy but some other guy has linked a lot more information, it does seem to be the trend in any case

20

u/Hoarseman Jul 27 '21

Sorry, it's been documented in multiple independent studies. See Below

Persistence after infection

One of the Factors

Mean Age 32 Years

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3

u/Sandpaper_Pants Jul 27 '21

In other news, the CDC is reporting men having more boob related injuries.

1k

u/Stranger1982 Jul 27 '21

FYI this is why it's generally recommended to schedule screening mammograms four to six weeks after the last shot, since your lymph nodes can become enlarged from the vaccine and may take a while to go down.

222

u/LouKrazy Jul 27 '21

I definitely had random lymph node swelling on my arm / neck immediately after my second dose

100

u/TheKillerSmiles Jul 27 '21

I had it in my armpit! It was so painful for like a week.

30

u/timesuck897 Jul 27 '21

That happened to a friend, they said it was not fun to wake up to.

13

u/chop__lock Jul 27 '21

Omg wait this explains so much

16

u/Funk9K Jul 27 '21

Yup. Took a week to really feel better and a little longer to go back down to normal. Apparently it's the lymphatic system processing the antibodies needed to fight the threat. But it felt like Mike Tyson uppercut me in the armpit while I was sleeping.

11

u/unrulystowawaydotcom Jul 27 '21

Same. It gave me a manboob on my right side and swollen armpit.

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '21

This is the first I've heard this.

7

u/Stranger1982 Jul 28 '21

This has been around since March at least, to let women know to either do it before the vaccine, wait a few weeks after or let the technician know in case it's urgent or you're at risk and need the mammogram done anyway.

4

u/Kahlandar Jul 27 '21

I had this side effect as a 31 y/o m. No breasts to speak of, but significant lymph swelling, only on the side that received the vax.

If i held both arms up, 1 armpit was a pit, ad the name suggests, the other was visibly convex. Couldn't get my arm flat to my side. There was what felt like a soft orange-sized mass under my arm. No tenderness, it was just really weird for like 3 days after my second shot

10

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '21

[deleted]

24

u/5050Clown Jul 27 '21

Damn right it did.

17

u/JoshJoshson13 Jul 27 '21

I, too, choose this guys mom

6

u/Scipio-Africannabis- Jul 27 '21

This guy ur moms

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u/GetOffMyLawn_ Jul 27 '21

Yes, I had to delay my mammo by 4 weeks.

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1k

u/TerminallyBlonde Jul 27 '21

Smart marketing by pfizer

322

u/grpagrati Jul 27 '21

Combined with Viagra they're changing the world

65

u/Swagastan Jul 27 '21

fulfilling the idiocracy plot https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GA0l1JXhLaI

29

u/JusticiarRebel Jul 27 '21

I don't know. It's mostly stupid people dying cause they won't get the jab. I know there's immunocompromised people that can't get it and are at risk, but it's still mostly stupid people voluntarily removing themselves from the gene pool right now.

25

u/thisplacemakesmeangr Jul 27 '21

And acting as incubators. Potentially allowing the virus to mutate past the vaccines ability to help. It's not just them. That's not how a pandemic works.

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u/MisterGoo Jul 27 '21

Protip : Cialis is better than Viagra, as it is not affected by food.

54

u/F_ckYo_ Jul 27 '21

This also happened to me. Im a dude

40

u/volvostupidshit Jul 27 '21

That's enough marketing for today.

12

u/r00ddude Jul 27 '21

Free tiddies!

7

u/jeremynd01 Jul 27 '21

If I had large, full breasts, I would never leave the house again.

Well, maybe once, to buy a mirror.

6

u/5050Clown Jul 27 '21

I also blame the vaccine when I take my shirt off in public.

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u/Deadeyemagpie Jul 27 '21

If you or someone you know has been affected by ✨gynecomastia✨

67

u/LewAshby309 Jul 27 '21

Or smart marketing by people to have a reason to show boobs on social media and get attention.

134

u/Dominum_Pullum Jul 27 '21

If a trend gives us both boobs and vaccinations I am all for it

27

u/LewAshby309 Jul 27 '21

Hard to argue against that.

12

u/lvratto Jul 27 '21

They need a reason?

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1k

u/FriendlyFellowDboy Jul 27 '21

This is the kind of misinformation we need.

695

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '21

[removed]

149

u/Kriegerian Jul 27 '21

“Can I get four shots?”

50

u/MrValdemar Jul 27 '21

My plan is working perfectly

30

u/Djinn7711 Jul 27 '21

“I don’t need no shots! I already got me a fucking whopper schlong, don’t you worry about that!

I gotta go now. Definitely not to the clinic. My friend has a little pecker, where does he need to go?”

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u/megustalogin Jul 27 '21

I told my wife she had a week's worth of Pfizer shots coming

5

u/SantyClawz42 Jul 27 '21

And she said, "not right now, I have a headache"....

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u/AcidTWister Jul 27 '21

Obviously the Johnson and Johnson shot would be the one to give you a bigger dick.

17

u/MustLoveAllCats Jul 27 '21

Bad news for you bro, the J&J enhances your appetite for dicks.

5

u/flameboy50001 Jul 28 '21

That's not a bug, it's a feature!

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u/Yoshable Jul 27 '21

Now there's a good idea. Hit em with the reverse misinformation

23

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '21

You'd have to package it as a facebook meme. Covid symptoms can cause an almost 6x rate of Erectile Dysfunction but that hasn't motivated them to get the vaccine.

107

u/MrValdemar Jul 27 '21

Modern problems require modern solutions.

89

u/Dentoff13 Jul 27 '21

Moderna problems require Moderna solutions. -- FTFY

47

u/whooo_me Jul 27 '21

You're an excellent improv-pfizer

9

u/MrValdemar Jul 27 '21

👏....👏....👏

Well done

35

u/Matt463789 Jul 27 '21

Good faith disinformation

What a time to be alive

25

u/MrValdemar Jul 27 '21 edited Jul 27 '21

No different than the "you don't need a mask" stories at the beginning of the pandemic the news spread because they didn't want everyone buying up masks so the hospitals didn't run out.

Once you start lying you don't get to decide which ones are good and which are bad.

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u/Matt463789 Jul 27 '21

I wouldn't say the situations are exactly the same, but it's a great point that lying is a dangerous game.

6

u/FriendlyFellowDboy Jul 27 '21

Wait.. does it make it bigger though?.. I'll get a third shot and find out.

3

u/freakierchicken Jul 27 '21

You have to get the shot on the site in question. It’s a local embiggening.

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u/joshuaoha Jul 27 '21

Some male covid survivors are apparently having long term erectile dysfunction after getting sick. They need to start talking about that more lol

39

u/MrValdemar Jul 27 '21

Well... If they're the same ones not getting the free and easily available vaccine, this might actually be a long term bonus.

3

u/Paradoxgreen Jul 27 '21

Cold blooded. I like it.

3

u/Fa6got_In_The_Shell Jul 27 '21

That was a sensationalised headline from a sample study size of FOUR people. That's why you haven't seen it again, coz it's horseshit.

4

u/therealbighairy Jul 27 '21

Oddly, there were studies showing that covid itself could cause e.d. Issues for some men, so this might not be that far fetchef.

6

u/Cyphierre Jul 27 '21

The phrasing would be tricky. They probably shouldn’t say, “Your breasts and your dick will get bigger.”

3

u/Funkit Jul 27 '21

I mean, COVID can cause ED but that isn’t doing anything.

2

u/MrValdemar Jul 27 '21

Because it might cause ED, just like they might catch it, they might not.

But you flat out promise bullshit? That'll get shots in arms.

Politicians have no problem spreading tons of bullshit when they want votes. But they want vaccines in arms and suddenly they discovered integrity?

2

u/i_will_let_you_know Jul 27 '21

Problem is that if you promise a symptom they don't get, they'll trust vaccines less next time.

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u/Tomdoerr88 Jul 27 '21

“WARNING: may cause penis to double in size”

“Got dang Cleetus, y’all hear that? I’m gon git me that fayzur jab, gon get my pecker up to two whole inches yeehaw”

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u/Rabster46 Jul 27 '21

As if the "muh freedom" crowd can actually see their own package.

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u/Marawal Jul 27 '21

You joke, but I shut up an older man with the line "but there's not enough researches" by "well, they didn't even try to look before you swallow all the Viagra they could get their hand on"

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u/SliFi Jul 27 '21

Click the link and read the article, it isn’t misinformation. It’s peer reviewed academic research on lymph node imaging.

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u/anonymous_j05 Jul 27 '21

“For every vaccine administered we take one step away from communism” that’ll probably get them

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u/pupperonipizzapie Jul 27 '21

This happened to me. My boobs got bigger, my skin cleared, my crops prospered, my stocks soared. Get vaccinated today.

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u/ThisOriginalSource Jul 27 '21

My penis grew, and I developed a 6 pack where a beer belly had been before. Also, my endogenous wifi signal has gotten much stronger. /s. In all seriousness, get vaccinated it’s the non-stupid thing to do.

41

u/czs5056 Jul 27 '21

Now I feel cheated. I got the Pfizer shots and my penis and beer belly stayed the same size, and my wifi is just as bad.

10

u/ThisOriginalSource Jul 27 '21

Ahh I’m sorry to hear that. I had the J&J, which was administered into my buttox after I dropped my britches and insisted taking it in the ass. I’m guessing that’s why I’ve received such wonderful side effects. So, YMMV

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u/EH042 Jul 27 '21

I was a basement dwelling troglodyte before the vaccine, now I’m a navy seal with over 500 confirmed kills.

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u/swaffelengames Jul 27 '21

When there is other misinformation people would be going on a rant

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u/awkardlyjoins Jul 27 '21 edited Jul 27 '21

Pfizer: women get bigger breasts

Everyone: yeahhhh!!!

Pfizer: Men too.

Everyone: ……

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u/spderweb Jul 27 '21

(while eating cake for breakfast) I knew it!

5

u/JoshJoshson13 Jul 27 '21

Can you not personally attack me. Thanks

20

u/cmonkeyz7 Jul 27 '21

That's never harmed the prospects for beer. A 100s of billions of dollars industry.

10

u/Anastariana Jul 27 '21

Plot twist:

Trans people: Yeah!!!!

28

u/MintberryCruuuunch Jul 27 '21

as a man, this explains a lot...

13

u/so_good_so_far Jul 27 '21

Sure it does mintberry crunch

34

u/anonymous_j05 Jul 27 '21

As a trans guy this is amazing news, I have a new excuse! “Idk how I have boobs bro it’s just the vaccine smh I can’t believe the democrats did this to me”

16

u/Cypher_53 Jul 27 '21

The trans women are most certainly going to use this to increase their "big titty goth gf" vibes . So almost everyone prospers from this.

6

u/My_Opinion_Sux Jul 27 '21

Don’t threaten me with a goth time

3

u/chenhanlin Jul 27 '21

Men: no more chest day!!!

8

u/LewAshby309 Jul 27 '21

Well, if it's muscle...

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u/godlessnihilist Jul 27 '21

Every cosmetic surgeon just became an anti-vaxxer.

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u/WhereAreDosDroidekas Jul 27 '21

Its probably just soft tissue swelling as an immune response. Most vaccines do that to a degree.

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u/HazelNightengale Jul 27 '21

Yeah, I wasn't wearing a bra for a bit after mine (yay, telework). Anecdotally I'd also heard not to get a mammogram done soon after the shot because it makes things more...difficult.

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u/steboy Jul 27 '21

The study says the effect is temporary and will go away, and still, some people are against annual boosters.

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u/AlbinoWino11 Jul 27 '21

Look at that! My penis is larger and I lost 10 pounds from the Covid vaccine!!

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u/MajespecterNekomata Jul 27 '21

It watered my crops and did my laundry!!

29

u/AlbinoWino11 Jul 27 '21

No magnetism though. So I can only score 8.3/10.

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u/anonymous_j05 Jul 27 '21

I’m one of the lucky ones, I’ve actually been able to charge my phone by holding it up to my 5G radiating forehead after my second shot

10

u/AlbinoWino11 Jul 27 '21

Your reception must be remarkable

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u/isthatyoujulienewmar Jul 27 '21

My boobs are the same, but after my second Pfizer shot, I menstruated for a month straight.

No regrets; side effects are part of the deal. Way better than being intubated.

9

u/Necessary_Ad7087 Jul 27 '21

Now you've got me wondering is it the shot that made me bleed like crazy or the new birthcontrol.

11

u/lezzerlee Jul 27 '21

I got swollen lymph nodes in my armpit & also menstruated for a month after the 2nd shot. Got my period immediately after the 1st shot too. My guess is it messes up hormones for bit.

6

u/juno_huno Jul 27 '21

I menstruated for a month straight.

...Wait what??? Why did that happen?

5

u/blueberrycoco Jul 27 '21

I'm not a scientist so correct me if I'm wrong, but the proteins in the covid19 vaccine attach to the ACE2 receptors similarly to the virus. The ACE2 receptors are all throughout your body but are highly concentrated in your reproductive organs, moreso in women.

The ACE2 receptors in the female systems are there to promote vasodilation and constriction and also help with releasing eggs from the ovaries so maybe they are accidentally stimulating extra constriction around the reproductive organs, causing a higher flow.

Take what I said with a grain of salt though

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u/all3ycat_ Jul 27 '21

The shot literally stopped my menstrual cycle, wtfff

23

u/johnnyfortycoats Jul 27 '21

Pragante?

17

u/all3ycat_ Jul 27 '21

With antibodies of Jesus Christ maybe…

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u/MsGenericEnough Aug 03 '21

Interesting.

My first shot, no lymph node swelling, but felt like a train took me out for something like 18 hours about three days later. Plus, skipped a month. I never complain when that happens, heh.

Had to get my Pap and first ever Mammo last week - oh joy oh bliss - Not. lol NGL if I had swollen anything that would have been the end of me. Lesson learned - just need to take a bit of pain relief before going in.

Getting my second shot on the 7th of August, wondering if I'm going to just go into overdrive to "make up" for the lost month, as I see others have also just having it go forever after. Then again, some have had skipped as well. Either way, I'm going in to have it done. I work with two people who "Facebook their Science" - and a third who is just scared - terrified, frozen in place. Am really starting to find my opinions hardening over this.

For my frightened friend, I answer their questions the best I can and point out how they are able to see the studies, etc. For the other two - the Facebook Science people? I don't mince words. They know how I am viewing this, and they are equally as frigid in their stance. Never thought that getting a vaccine to prevent the unnecessary deaths of living, breathing humans (and now I see other animals), as a direct attack on the Person, but here we are.

It's getting to the point that I just want the damned thing mandated. Just - get it done, all over. If someone is claiming to be allergic to whatever is in it, have them submit a sample explaining why/how. If they are allergic, according to the sample, the Government pays for the submission. If proven that they were trying to be devious lying bastards, wanting to protect their own vanity, they get to pay for the submission, AND must take the shot.

Also, not just THIS vaccine, but ALL vaccines. I'm so sick of the utter and complete bullshittery surrounding this. They've been proven to work. They can't be administered to some very specific people, and we as a People must protect those who can't take them. Mumps, Measles, Rubella shots? You get to take them. Polio? You get to take them. Fucking 'FLU shots, the kind that I tend to avoid because I feel so damned sick for three days after? Yeah, I get to fucking take them, too, along with the rest of the populace.

It's not right that Mr. or Ms. Variant-Factory gets to churn over and communicate the disease that is proven to cause all sorts of health concerns (and not "Just" death) by hiding behind their outstretched middle finger of vanity.

Sorry, did not mean to dissolve into a rant there. I've had some time to think really, really hard and take a careful look at my own selfishness as well. (ie., not getting the yearly 'flu shot, even though I'll take all the other shots, including my tetanus). This is Serious Business. This is SERIOUS BUSINESS. The fact that some folk just avoid the damned thing, "coz" just floors me.

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u/bobbyrickets Jul 27 '21

That's inflammation from the vaccine. It's supposed to do that, it's supposed to trigger the immune system to respond and to build antibodies.

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u/PinkAndSkulls Jul 27 '21

I had major swelling in my armpit lymph node after shot 2, and it hurt like hell for 6 days but at least I knew it was doing its thing.

12

u/LJ3f3S Jul 27 '21

Samesies. Just one armpit was a little swole for a week but no other side effects from the second shot.

14

u/Xenton Jul 27 '21

On the offchance this isn't a joke: inflammation doesn't give you bigger breasts.

46

u/Revolutionary-Rush89 Jul 27 '21

The article recounts swelling of the lymph nodes after vaccination in a large percentage of people so the effect is real, breasts do increase in size but it’s a temporary condition and they go back to normal. No word on how long that takes though.

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u/Knut79 Jul 27 '21

In some people those lymph nodes can swell causing this claimed beast size increase...

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u/Michael074 Jul 27 '21

theoretically, how many times can I take the vaccine if I inject it straight into my nuts?

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u/Schemen123 Jul 27 '21

Depends.. how big do you want your tits?

8

u/Michael074 Jul 27 '21

big enough so that I can slap you and you can't slap back.

210

u/Chikytendy Jul 27 '21

Is it safe for my wife to take a second round of vaccines?

299

u/GlobalTravelR Jul 27 '21

Tell her it's a boobster, uh I mean booster shot.

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u/Chikytendy Jul 27 '21

HAHA! Yes. Perfect.

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u/like_butterplaytoast Jul 27 '21

She's prolly wishing you hadn't taken your first one though Mr tendy

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u/theqofcourse Jul 27 '21 edited Jul 27 '21

What the USA really needs: Vaccinations make ordinary tap water taste like Mountain Dew.

EDIT: tsp = tap

22

u/1337tt Jul 27 '21

Why not brawndo?

13

u/vaughnage92 Jul 27 '21

It's what the plants crave!

10

u/b33r_engineer Jul 27 '21

What are electrolytes? Do you even know?

7

u/Bucket1984 Jul 27 '21

It's what they put in Brawndo.

5

u/Iwillrize14 Jul 27 '21

it has electrolites

3

u/gaspergou Jul 27 '21

The way she delivers that line is so perfectly dumb. Every nuance of it is etched in my mind’s ear.

2

u/egoraphobic Jul 28 '21

And the hand movement!

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u/Mattimvs Jul 27 '21

Mine did...then again Im a 44 yo guy. IT might also have something to do with a covid induced dessert addiction and the gyms being closed but I'm going to blame the jab

3

u/doktorch Jul 27 '21

😂😂own it!! wear it!!😂😂💪

19

u/Figorama Jul 27 '21 edited Jul 27 '21

Moderna made my cock fatter, and I fuck harder.

Get vaccinated.

3

u/Raolyth Jul 27 '21

I got the Pfizer but my cock is the same. My stamina increased 300% from two pumps though.

5

u/aledba Jul 27 '21

Yeah I had some serious soft tissue swelling around my armpits and on my chest. It was so bad that my bare arm would stick to my exposed flesh on my side because it was just so swollen

4

u/marvinrabbit Jul 27 '21

Need digital test results to quantify.

5

u/SashaVestra Jul 27 '21

Damnit, now I wish I got Pfizer.

5

u/Toph-Builds-the-fire Jul 27 '21

So one of the side effects is an enlarged lymph gland under the arm near the pec/breast. My doc told me about it because I had a sore lump under my arm after my shot. I had testicular cancer so lumps freak me out pretty bad. Doc said women shouldn't get mammograms for 6 weeks after the jab.

12

u/bonerharambe Jul 27 '21

Shouldn’t this be in r/upliftingnews

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u/Yamo_chan Jul 27 '21

Must concur with this. I had some suspicion, but thought I was imagining things as I’m well past the age where my boobs would grow and definitely not pregnant. But I put on a dress that normally fits nicely around the chest, and even though I haven’t gained weight or anything, it was super tight! I was so confused, but this article gave me an “oooooooh!” moment.

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u/bluenote_dopamine Jul 27 '21

Inflammation is an extremely common side effect of vaccines.

They'll shrink back when the lymph swelling dies down.

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u/hotlavatube Jul 27 '21

What a relief, now I can blame my increased bust size on Pfizer instead of my learning how to make puff pastry and croissants during quarantine. What a lucky guy I am!

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u/Battlelyon Jul 27 '21

Pfizer, "Boners and big titties for everyone"

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u/IronyIntended2 Jul 27 '21

Ugh my wife got moderna

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u/DreadPirateGriswold Jul 27 '21

"Hey, whaddaya know? Mine too!"

-- Steve

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u/sakzeroone Jul 27 '21

I'm sure it has nothing to do with the "lockdown weight" that many people have but on over the last year and a half...

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u/Lemons81 Jul 27 '21

I can confirm, I scheduled my wife for her 4th booster shot.

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u/jeszkar Jul 27 '21

I see this as an absolute win.

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u/SW33PERkon Jul 27 '21

I'm not convinced this entire story wasn't created by Phizer lol

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u/FluffyWeeBastard Jul 27 '21

This makes me not want to get it

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u/Olof_Kickash Jul 27 '21

Come to think of it my man-boobs have gotten bigger since the Pfizer jab, and here I thought it was the ramen noodles and chef boyardee.

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u/NewTubeReview Jul 27 '21

If we could only convince the unvaccinated masses of both this and that penis enlargement would result, then the pandemic would be over in a matter of days.

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u/ZayaMacD Jul 27 '21

“The perfect vaccine doesn’t exi…”

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u/NubzyWubzy Jul 27 '21

Only my second dose was Pfizer (first dose was Moderna)..

Does this mean only one of my boobs will get bigger?

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u/CheesE4Every1 Jul 27 '21

Yes, but you get to choose

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u/asianknight930 Jul 27 '21

Whatever works to get us vaccinated I guess! Should also say that for men it’ll increase dick size lol

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u/FleraAnkor Jul 28 '21

Sigh..

Your boob can get bigger on the side you got the vaccine. This is due to tenporary swelling of the lymphe nodes. Instead of making fun of women who experience this and get worried because they might have breast cancer so they get a mamogram that turns into a false positive because you have swollen lymphe nodes tell people that this can happen and to tell the doctor that you recently got vaccinated so this van be taken into account.

Nobody wants to worry about having breast cancer and especially not for a longer period of time.

https://coronavirus.nautil.us/covid-vaccine-larger-breasts/

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u/RockyClub Jul 27 '21

I’m no anti - vax or science denier, but I have noticed changes since getting Pfizer. My period has been completely irregular every cycle since I got it. It was a week late after I got it too. It’s now an entire week long too. I’m on birth control and it has been the same for 4 years. I also developed more fibrous tissue in my breast which my doctor prepared me for as a side effect. I submitted my side effects to the website.

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u/juno_huno Jul 27 '21

As someone whose period is already hell every month, I think I’ll pass on the Pfizer. You’re the second commenter I’ve seen here mentioning a weird cycle. Switched my appointment to Moderna tomorrow.

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u/RockyClub Jul 27 '21 edited Jul 27 '21

I recommend against it. I’ve had it for 5 days now and it hasn’t fully even started, it’s fucking annoying.

Also, I’ve talked with many women in my circle and lots of us have weird cycles. I know that’s not through a study, but everyone tracks their cycle and notices changes after Pfizer.

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u/ch3esey Jul 27 '21

All according to plan

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u/FunkyPete Jul 27 '21

I'm a guy, and I gained enough wait during the pandemic that my boobs were bigger even before I got the Pfizer jab.

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u/JermzPyromobile Jul 27 '21

Damn, my wife needs a booster

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u/frankylovee Jul 27 '21

Pffffff I wish

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u/no2jedi Jul 27 '21

I see this as an absolute win

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u/Transatlanticaccent Jul 27 '21

In the voice of Randy Marsh..."niiice."

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u/DorisCrockford Jul 27 '21

You don't even want to know what the Johnson & Johnson vaccine did.

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u/LessSignature1953 Jul 27 '21

Wow, they are trying everything to push the jab!!

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u/egoraphobic Jul 28 '21

I got my second dose of Pfizer last week. Will go grope my breasts and report back. Stay tuned!

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u/Hobear Jul 28 '21

Every man now goes in for a pfizer jab into the dick to see if it will also get bigger.

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u/NUKLEARAXIS Jul 28 '21

They also make viagra..... so maybe?

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u/Mooseylips Jul 28 '21

I got Pfizer and can attest. My dong went from cornichon to plantain and I can now go 3 rounds without tapping out.

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u/Neversaysleep Aug 02 '21

This message brought to you by Phizer.

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u/Oakley999 Jul 27 '21

Swollen lymph nodes due to free moving Lipid Nanoparticles isn't exactly something to happy about.