r/nottheonion Jul 28 '21

Goat dies after unnatural sex with senior citizen Removed - Not Oniony

https://www.thevibes.com/articles/news/36189/goat-dies-after-unnatural-sex-with-senior-citizen
1k Upvotes

u/Flair_Helper Jul 29 '21

Hey /u/slamdunk_12, thanks for contributing to /r/nottheonion. Unfortunately, your post was removed as it violates our rules:

Rule 2 - Sorry, but this story isn't oniony.

Please consider submitting your article to /r/offbeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule.

Please read the sidebar and rules before posting again. If you have questions or concerns, please message the moderators through modmail. Thank you!

1k

u/dolphone Jul 28 '21

As opposed to natural sex with the senior citizen?

211

u/passwordsarehard_3 Jul 28 '21

And why did they have to specify it was a female goat?

424

u/pun_in10did Jul 28 '21

Senior citizen is just an animal lover, he's not GAY. Ok?

/s

77

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '21

He's not gay or anything, just sayin.

23

u/to174jay Jul 28 '21

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

32

u/dolphone Jul 28 '21

It was all natural OK?

Oh. Nevermind.

2

u/DayOneDva Jul 29 '21

Started singing "Mother lover" After seeing this. Send help.

24

u/Doctor_Amazo Jul 28 '21

He just wants to fuck the bahbahs not the brahbahs. #progoatnohomo

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88

u/newenglandredshirt Jul 28 '21

Musta been in the other hole.

59

u/KILL-YOUR-MASTER Jul 28 '21

Colostomy hole?

16

u/Devil25_Apollo25 Jul 28 '21

You're my hero. Take my upvote.

108

u/alexanderpas Jul 28 '21

Unnatural Offenses are a specific crime in the penal code.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Section_377

  1. Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse with an animal shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to twenty years, and shall also be liable to fine or to whipping.

https://www.burgielaw.com/resources/act?act_title=Penal+Code&section=377

79

u/sibemama Jul 28 '21

To whipping??

71

u/HailEmpressTheresa Jul 28 '21

What if that's also their kink?

82

u/dolphone Jul 28 '21

Playing the fucking long game.

54

u/OwenProGolfer Jul 28 '21

This is what happens when we don’t change laws for centuries lmao

48

u/Living-Complex-1368 Jul 28 '21

Could be worse, if he'd done it in Wyoming and owned the goat it would have been legal.

In Wyoming it is only illegal to have sex with humans you are not married to.

9

u/Perle1234 Jul 28 '21

Wtf I live in Wyoming and did not know that! How is it not illegal to fuck an animal?!

18

u/Living-Complex-1368 Jul 28 '21

To quote above, "this is what happens when we don't change laws for centuries." (Ok, probably just 1 century in this case).

There was this funny I found of the worst facts about the US Europeans don't know, and Wyoming was the only state that didn't have a law against animal fucking, but did have a law against fucking humans out of wedlock. Other states had one problem or the other...

3

u/CartmanTuttle Jul 29 '21

Wait, it's still illegal to have sex out of wedlock here? Then again, I don't think the police here want to try to enforce that particular law.

10

u/Living-Complex-1368 Jul 29 '21

I believe it is also still illegal to carry a chicken in Texas at night.

5

u/Perle1234 Jul 29 '21

We can’t have any of that chicken carrying nonsense.

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4

u/averagethrowaway21 Jul 29 '21

The law regarding milking someone else's cow was repealed back in '73. There was a measure introduced a long while ago that, had it passed, would have forced robbers to give 24 hours written or oral notice before robbing someone.

My favorite Texas law that can result in felony charges that is actually in effect is: A person who possesses six or more obscene devices or identical or similar obscene articles is presumed to possess them with intent to promote the same. It is an affirmative defense to prosecution under this section that the person who possesses or promotes material or a device proscribed by this section does so for a bona fide medical, psychiatric, judicial, legislative, or law enforcement purpose.

So less than six dildos unless you're curing hysteria. Got it.

4

u/tupels Jul 29 '21

The real question is though: why does animal fucking need to be made illegal specifically? Don't animal abuse laws cover it?

This either implies the state has no animal abuse laws in place, or that fucking animals isn't always abusive. And that latter would imply that people are seeking to implement these laws for some other reason that to prevent animal cruelty.

3

u/Perle1234 Jul 29 '21

There’s no animal cruelty laws in WY is likely the answer. I’ve seen that in other states with large farming operations. The factory farming paradigm is inherently abusive. People don’t like coming out and saying it’s okay to abuse livestock but not pets.

1

u/alexanderpas Jul 29 '21

The real question is though: why does animal fucking need to be made illegal specifically? Don't animal abuse laws cover it?

It allows for the punishment to be set higher, and prevents the (sickening) defense that the animal actually wanted it since they didn't move away.

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4

u/Stoneheart_Enigma Jul 29 '21

Where men are men and sheep are afraid.

14

u/alexanderpas Jul 28 '21

Actually, The country where this happened only dained independence on 31 August 1957. The penal code comes from the British colonial time.

26

u/Ramalkin Jul 28 '21

So...

This is what happens when we don’t change laws for centuries lmao

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8

u/ro_goose Jul 28 '21

Yes, whipping. Do you live in a cave? Corporal punishment is very much still alive all over the world.

3

u/HrmbeLives Jul 28 '21

Yeah, that’s kinda exactly what the taliban is all about

3

u/iamanoctopuss Jul 28 '21

I’d take a whipping over a missile to the face

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2

u/ChemicalAssist6835 Jul 28 '21

But Taliban would never outlaw screwing a goat

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7

u/modernforestspirit Jul 29 '21

If I remember my history right, the punishment for raping a goat/sheep is less than the punishment for stealing and theives (when caught) would pull the old switcheroo to get a lighter sentence which is why there's the goat/sheep fucker stereotype.

2

u/JustinWendell Jul 29 '21

I’ve always wondered about these old laws. Can I just take a whipping instead of going to jail or getting a fine??

Imagine a world where you could pay 350 for a speeding ticket or just go to the station and get three and a half lashes.

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41

u/Khaldara Jul 28 '21

Come on my dude, without the Barry White and red wine it’s just wrong.

15

u/DeanoBambino90 Jul 28 '21

Does red wine go with goat?

12

u/Khaldara Jul 28 '21

“Probably depends on what flavor the lube-“

Nope, can’t do it

8

u/DeanoBambino90 Jul 28 '21

I'd think with goat lube it'd be more of a white.

18

u/Remorseful_User Jul 28 '21

The goat was horny though.

17

u/CambriaKilgannonn Jul 28 '21

Musta been on that horny goat weed

2

u/nomad-mr_t Jul 28 '21

She was asking for it!

2

u/LengthinessRegular70 Jul 29 '21

trying to make a sweet tooth lol

5

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '21

One goat …

2

u/greywolfau Jul 29 '21

Unnatural sex is oftened used as a metaphor for non-vaginal sex.

1

u/Trifle-Doc Jul 28 '21

their positions they tried were SO unnatural

0

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '21

Goats like to get freaky

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336

u/Bpool91 Jul 28 '21

Poor thing.

156

u/eicaker Jul 28 '21

That poor goat

1k

u/FabulousTrade Jul 28 '21

"Goat dies after being raped by old pervert"

FTFY

185

u/Nopengnogain Jul 28 '21

My guess is he killed the goat before the rape so it doesn’t struggle. When the owner arrived on scene and found the suspect fleeing, the goat was already dead.

102

u/pileofsporks Jul 28 '21

It says that the owner heard the goat making unnatural noises which is what prompted her to check on it. And she found…the scene

44

u/Raichu7 Jul 28 '21

It could also have been massive internal trauma.

14

u/awalktojericho Jul 28 '21

That's what I was thinking. Too much preperation for pre-murdering.

46

u/billabong021 Jul 28 '21

Good theory but it could've gotten a heart attack and died too. The ultimate donkey punch 😵

55

u/K_Para Jul 28 '21

I really wish I hadn’t read this.

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57

u/alexanderpas Jul 28 '21

That would make the title less accurate, since Unnatural Offenses are a specific crime in the penal code, which the title explicitly references.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Section_377

  1. Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse with an animal shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to twenty years, and shall also be liable to fine or to whipping.

https://www.burgielaw.com/resources/act?act_title=Penal+Code&section=377

15

u/kevinsheppardjr Jul 28 '21

To whipping??

5

u/palebloodvorticity Jul 28 '21

Man if you fuck a goat to death I'll personally bust out a whip on your creepy ass

5

u/BasedEzie Jul 29 '21

Whip me harder daddy ~

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331

u/Radioman_70 Jul 28 '21

Well that's enough internet for today.

-156

u/graphicsRat Jul 28 '21 edited Jul 29 '21

(deleted)

Did not know emojis were banned. Apologies.

22

u/lemon1drop Jul 28 '21

Emoji baa

-11

u/Brookenmiser Jul 28 '21

Baaaa

-3

u/Lauchsuppedeluxe935 Jul 28 '21

thats what she said

-17

u/AndringRasew Jul 28 '21

Baaa raaam yoooou...

41

u/Godmirra Jul 28 '21

Again?

37

u/AndringRasew Jul 28 '21

How often does an old man fk a goat to death? That's not something I have heard of before.

49

u/kudosbudo Jul 28 '21

Well I heard a story from a French lad in college.

He had a friend who was a doctor and he said that the worst thing he ever saw was a man who came in with a dead cat stuck on his penis. He could not get it off and panicked he went to A&E.

So yeah he fucked the cat, it died and became stuck. He then put on a big coat to hide it and went to hospital haha.

53

u/Paularizer Jul 28 '21

Holy shit that's horrifying, I definitely could have spent my entire life without knowing this

20

u/Genielove91 Jul 28 '21

... people are fucking sick.

5

u/-milkbubbles- Jul 29 '21

I wish I didn’t read this.

30

u/Godmirra Jul 28 '21

I have a lot of Greek friends.

8

u/Daikataro Jul 28 '21

Third time this week...

34

u/thewoodbeyond Jul 28 '21

This is just sad, poor goat. Stupid goat fucker.

249

u/Psande03 Jul 28 '21

Should read ‘man raped animal and it died from injuries’

-49

u/alexanderpas Jul 28 '21

Actually No, that would make the title less accurate.

Unnatural Offenses are a specific crime in the penal code, which the title explicitly references.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Section_377

  1. Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse with an animal shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to twenty years, and shall also be liable to fine or to whipping.

https://www.burgielaw.com/resources/act?act_title=Penal+Code&section=377

80

u/ghettobx Jul 28 '21

He fucking raped an animal. Period.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '21

[deleted]

1

u/MacAttacknChz Jul 28 '21

Pretty sure it's a sensational story either way

1

u/Whatcanyadonuttin Jul 28 '21

You would say that goat fucker.

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145

u/JeepingJason Jul 28 '21

Picture was unnecessary

83

u/mancer187 Jul 28 '21

What the fucking fuck??

65

u/passwordsarehard_3 Jul 28 '21

Yeah, that’s probably what killed it.

170

u/ChibiSailorMercury Jul 28 '21

that picture was so wrong and unnecessary. Poor goat.

11

u/MF3DOOM Jul 28 '21

Man wtf is wrong with this world.

75

u/Kred1bleThreat Jul 28 '21

Just say raped.

244

u/TheSnarkling Jul 28 '21

Why is the title so misleading on this? This is animal cruelty, plain and simple. The poor goat was raped to death by some perverted degenerate, that should be the title. Absolutely appalling.

58

u/slipperyslopeb Jul 28 '21

Misleading? lol What did it lead you to believe happened?

My first thought was some old bastard fucked a goat to death.

10

u/ExpertlyStupid Jul 28 '21

It's the same issue as when articles like "Female teacher found guilty of having sex with 14 y/o student" pop up. It should say rape, but the writer chooses to sugarcoat what actually happened.

21

u/TheSnarkling Jul 28 '21

Yeah, I guess I'd just like heinous acts of animal cruelty labeled as such, not posted on subs like this for shits and giggles. I guess you could say the title is misleading because it's the passive voice implying the "unnatural sex" killed the goat whereas this is a person actually raping an animal to death. The title reads like this story is a curiosity. It's not. It's just another reminder of how cruel people can be.

So I humbly put forth the title should be: Sick old bastard rapes goat to death in depraved act of animal cruelty

10

u/Suekru Jul 28 '21

It’s because unnatural acts like this are part of the penal code

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Section_377

4

u/ieathairpussy Jul 28 '21

Hmmm, not catchy enough. I counter with: Goat ascends to ungulate heaven after being made love to by elderly chap.

3

u/Bannedbookweek Jul 28 '21

Cook Commits Coitus with Capra aegagrus, Capra Croaks

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50

u/alexanderpas Jul 28 '21

Actually, the title is not really that misleading, as it directly references a specific crime in the penal code called unnatural offenses.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Section_377

  1. Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse with an animal shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to twenty years, and shall also be liable to fine or to whipping.

https://www.burgielaw.com/resources/act?act_title=Penal+Code&section=377

40

u/thepastyprince Jul 28 '21

I dont understand how it could even be considered misleading in the first place.

31

u/shrlytmpl Jul 28 '21

"Has sex" carries a different meaning than "raped"

28

u/oby100 Jul 28 '21

Any person with a hint of sense understands animals cannot give consent. The outrage in the comments is bizarre. The title isn’t intentionally downplaying this mans actions

It’s totally accurate and clear

6

u/PunisherASM129 Jul 28 '21

Thank you. Some evil freak raped a goat, and no one was implying otherwise - I think half these people have got to be trolling here.

1

u/thepastyprince Jul 28 '21

This, especially when it already said the animal died.

1

u/jumpsteadeh Jul 28 '21

They aren't mutually exclusive

23

u/green_velvet_goodies Jul 28 '21

How many fucking times are you going to copy/paste this pedantic nonsense?

-10

u/TheSnarkling Jul 28 '21

This is animal cruelty, no matter how it's worded. Using terms like "unnatural sex" or "intercourse" doesn't make it better and it certainly doesn't make it funny.

41

u/Stoyfan Jul 28 '21

Using terms like "unnatural sex" or "intercourse" doesn't make it better and it certainly doesn't make it funny.

Unnatural sex is taken directly from the law. No one is saying this to "make it sound better".

It isn't misleading just because you do not like the wording on this.

-8

u/jab011 Jul 28 '21

Just give up. This is Reddit, only people’s feelings count.

7

u/Azilehteb Jul 28 '21

It’s not to make anyone feel better, it’s the legal terminology. Animal cruelty, animal neglect and unnatural sex have different punishments. It’s important to get the right one!

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7

u/Atreides464 Jul 28 '21

What is natural goat sex with a senior citizen? This seems like an interesting distinction

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23

u/tipitow88 Jul 28 '21

These A24 viral promos are really getting out of hand

1

u/DrawMeAMapMama Jul 28 '21

You’ve seen First Cow, Pig, and Lamb. Now, get ready for Goat…cumming soon to a theater near ewe.

5

u/ILOVEMCU Jul 28 '21

Horrible, but weird cause the Lamb movie trailer just came out today

4

u/MJtheJuiceman Jul 28 '21

I’m mad this was posted by “TheVibes.com” tho

14

u/ValiantFrog2202 Jul 28 '21

Damn 1:30 pm, why?

9

u/passwordsarehard_3 Jul 28 '21

He still wanted to catch the early bird specials for dinner at 3:30?

5

u/ieathairpussy Jul 28 '21

Just goes to show you can have your goat and eat it too!

4

u/TheKingRay Jul 28 '21

Is this that new A24 movie?

3

u/DelGriffiths Jul 28 '21

Well, I'm just going to assume the goat was dead before it happened and never think of this thread again.

4

u/Barbiedoll_64 Jul 28 '21

The goat did not “have sex with a senior citizen”

9

u/TheHunterZolomon Jul 28 '21

God dammit, once again cursed by my ability to read

10

u/Empress-Rae Jul 28 '21

You can live a wholesome life. You can get married and raise great kids. You can contribute to your community daily. But you fuck one goat…

7

u/dinomiah Jul 28 '21

Raise kids. Ba dum tsh.

2

u/power0722 Jul 28 '21

Fuck one goat "unnaturally".

12

u/Alex_Villanova Jul 28 '21

Some crimes are only fairly punishable by a severe beating.

2

u/alexanderpas Jul 28 '21

You're not that far off.

He faces up to 20 year is jail, and a whipping.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Section_377

  1. Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse with an animal shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to twenty years, and shall also be liable to fine or to whipping.

https://www.burgielaw.com/resources/act?act_title=Penal+Code&section=377

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50

u/Chikytendy Jul 28 '21

Bold of you to assume it died after, maybe the guy likes his goat cold.

39

u/Bovronius Jul 28 '21

Article says it was already dead when he pulled out and ran off, so very possible.

9

u/Youngestflexxer Jul 28 '21

Rigor mortis is a hell of a drug.

5

u/ThePlanck Jul 28 '21

Surely the senior citizen is would be more in need of that sort of help

8

u/mcstafford Jul 28 '21

Should have stuck with natural senior citizen + goat sex? /s

3

u/HOLDERofFOOD Jul 28 '21

A new film by A24

15

u/rockPaperKaniBasami Jul 28 '21

Coming soon to Facebook phishbait surveys: You get 10 points for every one if these you've done!

15...

  1. Smoked weed

  2. Gone streaking

  3. Fucked a goat to Death

  4. Gotten a speeding ticket

29...

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4

u/hereforthensfwstuff Jul 28 '21

Is this a swipe at old goats?

2

u/Pompeyboy Jul 28 '21

Newsflash... civilization hasn't happened yet.

2

u/Wjwjwjk Jul 28 '21

Wait what.

2

u/Scarkan Jul 28 '21

Hans... get Ze Flammenwerfer.

2

u/Cmerduh Jul 28 '21

Hate when that happens!

2

u/Stoneheart_Enigma Jul 29 '21

I've heard of someone getting your goat, but damn

2

u/Natsurulite Jul 29 '21

What the FUCK is unnatural sex???

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13

u/EmiliusReturns Jul 28 '21

Very bizarre way to phrase that. I’d go with “creepy old fuck rapes a goat to death” myself. Tell it like it is.

-18

u/alexanderpas Jul 28 '21

The title tells you exactly like it is.

Unnatural Offenses are a specific crime in the penal code, which the title explicitly references.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Section_377

  1. Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse with an animal shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to twenty years, and shall also be liable to fine or to whipping.

https://www.burgielaw.com/resources/act?act_title=Penal+Code&section=377

4

u/EmiliusReturns Jul 28 '21

Whipping? Sounds fair. Put that shit on pay per view.

3

u/4d3fect Jul 28 '21

2

u/HOLDERofFOOD Jul 28 '21

I don’t believe the goat had horns, no.

6

u/yungepstein Jul 28 '21

The marketing for Lamb is getting really out of hand

2

u/gskul Jul 28 '21

He grossly misinterpreted Sections 377 and 289 of the Penal Code

1

u/HOLDERofFOOD Jul 28 '21

Penile Code*

-4

u/alexanderpas Jul 28 '21

And now he faces op to 20 years in prison, and a whipping.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Section_377

  1. Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse with an animal shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to twenty years, and shall also be liable to fine or to whipping.

https://www.burgielaw.com/resources/act?act_title=Penal+Code&section=377

2

u/monkey-2020 Jul 28 '21

Well I guess that old guy got his goat.

2

u/dkinmn Jul 28 '21

That's why I only have natural sex with goats. I tried the other way, and dealing with the bodies was too much.

2

u/pangur0ban0 Jul 28 '21

So, a goat was raped to death by a horrible old man

2

u/The_Schnitzel Jul 28 '21

If only he had hit it naturally that poor goat would still be with us today

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-1

u/micfrachi59 Jul 28 '21

Tom Brady is dead?

1

u/CrowVsWade Jul 28 '21

No. His knees are sore. That's all.

1

u/Doctor_Amazo Jul 28 '21

Rape.

You rape animals as they cannot consent.

1

u/Braveheart1451 Jul 29 '21

I don’t have my contacts in, so at first I read “goth” instead of goat, and then reread it and found it 10x funnier.

1

u/Ryan1bailey Jul 28 '21

I'm not having sex with an old person now it's not worth the risk.

1

u/Lemonhater11 Jul 29 '21

Guy was trying to make a centaur.

1

u/steelrepairs Jul 29 '21

Lockdown has been hard for everyone.

-1

u/Nic4379 Jul 28 '21

Damn You ISIS!!!!

-2

u/SubliminalAlias Jul 28 '21

Why is this headline written in a way that implies the possibility of consent?

-4

u/Shadowman-The-Ghost Jul 28 '21

There’s approximately 7 billion people on the planet. As per Science magazine’s anthropological statistics, there are - on average - 5% which is 1 in 20 people, which is a huge component. So that’s a state the equivalent of the size of NY, with a population of 16 million. Severely mentally ill, as in serial killer type ruthlessness and non-humanity mentally ill. According to FBI statistics, 40% of murderer remain unsolved. So, these are tough, Darwinian statistics to comprehend, the ripple effects of such are deep and wide. The point being that there are a lot more sick, violent predators than one would ever imagine. 😳

9

u/CrowVsWade Jul 28 '21

Just for the record, before you start writing a book series or a big new Netflix documentary, the overwhelming majority of mentally ill people are neither violent nor dangerous. They're far more likely to be the victims of violence and/or abuse.

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-7

u/PrinceWhoknows Jul 28 '21

Mfs be hypocritical. Y'all pay for farmers to rape goats everyday for them to produce milk get off your high horse's.

10

u/CrowVsWade Jul 28 '21

You might want to explore how milk, goat or otherwise, is farmed/harvested. You might also want to locate a dictionary. A thesaurus, too

0

u/PrinceWhoknows Jul 29 '21

Ahh yes criticise my grammar. Lol I know how milk is obtained. Clearly you have no idea.

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-17

u/Xeper-Institute Jul 28 '21

Now we know why there are “Men Who State At Goats”.

6

u/lenmylobersterbush Jul 28 '21

Men making statements of goats are increasing important problems on the modern era.

-39

u/According_Tax_7781 Jul 28 '21

Hahahaa thats baaa baaaa. Dude unbutton her mutton

1

u/TheRealLaura789 Jul 28 '21

I was wondering is they are talking about a senior citizen goat or senior citizen human.

1

u/TrollGoo Jul 28 '21

Wait until Ice-T hears about this…. He ain’t gunna be Happy…. Law & Order: SVU….. DonK, Donk,

1

u/SignalRevenue Jul 28 '21

Never happened before and here it goes again...

1

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '21

[removed]

1

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1

u/xmarianix Jul 28 '21

I think I saw a movie trailer for this yesterday, Lamb was it

1

u/ieathairpussy Jul 28 '21

Woops, sorry. Now where did I put my teeth?

1

u/The__J__man Jul 28 '21

Some old pervert had been listening to too much Metallica.

Sick fuck.

1

u/JeffAvery Jul 28 '21

Technically being a “senior citizen” myself, is it wrong I felt that was a harsher identifier than unnatural sex with a goat?

1

u/ODSTsRule Jul 28 '21

I misread that as God dies...

1

u/420blazeit69nubz Jul 28 '21

What the fuck did I just read

1

u/Qubed Jul 28 '21

This is a sad story. I can't bring myself to comment on it.

1

u/drAsparagus Jul 28 '21

Fuck just one goat!

1

u/RizzoF Jul 28 '21

On that same page:

Related

‘This is more satisfying’: Grandfather finds joy in helping needy rural folk

1

u/kevin-yount Jul 28 '21

In his defense, maybe the goat was dead when he got there!!

1

u/mcarterphoto Jul 28 '21

Years-hardened prison inmate who runs the yard: "Look, it's the new inmate, let's hassle him!"

"So why ya in here, man??"

"I fucked a goat... to death..."

Years-hardened prison inmate who runs the yard slowly backs away...