r/nottheonion Jul 28 '21

Laurel Oak Family Aquatic Center closed due to ‘diarrhea incident’ Removed - Not Oniony

https://www.keloland.com/news/local-news/laurel-oak-family-aquatic-center-closed-due-to-diarrhea-incident/

[deleted]

11 Upvotes

u/Flair_Helper Jul 29 '21

Hey /u/DakotaDevil, thanks for contributing to /r/nottheonion. Unfortunately, your post was removed as it violates our rules:

Rule 2 - Sorry, but this story isn't oniony.

Please consider submitting your article to /r/offbeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule.

Please read the sidebar and rules before posting again. If you have questions or concerns, please message the moderators through modmail. Thank you!

6

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '21

When someone says "the diarrhea incident" you really don't need any more details, do you?

2

u/GenX-IA Jul 28 '21

Unless you really like to swim in shit, no.

4

u/reddit455 Jul 28 '21

the CDC literally has a poster for this.

Diarrhea and Swimming

https://www.cdc.gov/healthywater/swimming/images/yearly-events/HSS-week-diarrhea-facebook-tn.png

3

u/DerrainCarter Jul 28 '21

But the gif is even better

2

u/SelectiveSanity Jul 28 '21

The investigator's findings on the little shit at the center of this.

2

u/no_clever_name_yet Jul 29 '21

My local pool calls it “code brown”.

1

u/Callamy Jul 28 '21

When you're swimming in the pool,

And you feel a burst of stool...

1

u/Fuligo_septica Jul 29 '21

1

u/Fuligo_septica Jul 29 '21

In case you are unfamiliar with Tinshein Swimming Pool, it's from Borat:

Kazakhstan, greatest country in the world

All other countries are run by little girls

Kazakhstan, number one exporter of potassium All other countries have inferior potassium

Kazakhstan, home of Tinshein swimming pool

It's length thirty meter, width six meter

Filtration system a marvel to behold

It remove 80% of human solid waste

Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan, you very nice place

From plains of Tarashek to northern fence of Jewtown

Kazakhstan friend of all except Uzbekistan

They very nosey people, with bone in their brain

Kazakhstan, industry best in world

We invented toffee and trouser belt

Kazakhstan's prostitutes, cleanest in the region

Except of course for Turkmenistan's

Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan, you very nice place

From plains of Tarashek to northern fence of Jewtown

Come grasp mighty penis of our leader

From junction with the testes to tip of its face!

1

u/Dolantrom Jul 29 '21

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