r/technology • u/geoxol • Jan 13 '23 • Bravo! 1 Helpful (Pro) 1

Apple CEO Tim Cook to take more than 40% pay cut Business

https://apnews.com/article/technology-apple-inc-tim-cook-business-d056553b10120c4a968b562cb7ece5d2
39.1k Upvotes

81% Upvoted

3.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.3k

u/Fitbot5000 Jan 13 '23

Is this the Silicon Valley / Good Will Hunting crossover I’ve been waiting for?

101

u/Alternative-Layer919 Jan 13 '23

Wicked smaat!!

7

u/twisted_memories Jan 14 '23

Tell me more about the SMAAT platform? It utilizes middle-out?

4

u/UbermachoGuy Jan 14 '23

New generation iPaads will have %40 reduced mean jerk time.

406

u/ToothlessGrandma Jan 13 '23

This guy fucks

37

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '23

These are not the doors of a billionaire

21

u/SomePunIntended Jan 13 '23

Not like this!

20

u/DantifA Jan 14 '23

I have doors that open like this

➡️⬅️➡️⬅️

not like this

↖️↘️↙️↗️

or this

↩️↪️↩️↪️

3

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '23

“But seriously no more beheadings, I’m just fucking with you, Russ Hannneman.”

1

u/the_darkener Jan 14 '23

Cues Crazy town

2

u/General_Asleep Jan 14 '23

I still laugh about him getting rid of a car worth a few hundreds thousands because he was JUST worth 987 millions.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '23

"RADIO ON THE INTERNET!" Yeah he was a crazy man but one of the funniest of the entire series. Sucks that it ended.

2

u/General_Asleep Jan 14 '23

"I am sued by 3 of them and one for no reason."

2

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '23

lmao! oh man, remember the bottle of tequila deleting shit? "oh, sorry about that"

2

u/General_Asleep Jan 14 '23

Haha yep. What up Al Qaeda!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '23

lmao exactly! Those one liners were too much. I wonder if he'd get a spinoff series, ehrlich was may dawg but Jarred was a goat.

82

u/RabidGuineaPig007 Jan 13 '23

He's only Dos Commas.

3

u/Fit-Mathematician192 Jan 13 '23

Poop in hallway appears

2

u/Every_Complaint_7100 Jan 14 '23

Ugh I bet his doors don’t even go like this

gestures wing flaps

And have to close sideways like the rest of us

39

u/Vprbite Jan 13 '23

You think yeeeaaawww wicked smaaaat with yeeeeaaaawwww gaaavin belson and yaaaa petaaah gregory?

2

u/KazahanaPikachu Jan 13 '23

“I could spend my whole life good will hunting, the only good that’s gon come is this good when I’m cumming”

-21

u/Bacon_Hunter Jan 13 '23

I gotta say, that is a really dumb new attempt at a thing.

5

u/nikoelnutto Jan 13 '23

ITS GONE META

4

u/Alex_Albons_Appendix Jan 13 '23

Go watch Silicon Valley then come back to this thread

-10

u/Bacon_Hunter Jan 13 '23

Oh a show invented this new gimmick? Nah, pass.

5

u/Alex_Albons_Appendix Jan 13 '23

🙄 the OP’s post was a quote from the show, not a gimmick or attempt at anything, it’s not that serious

3

u/colourlessgreen Jan 13 '23

Good to know. Up next, the conversation every parent dreads: how to talk to your kids about the blockchain.

4

u/kronik85 Jan 13 '23

What's the gimmick, as you understand it?

11

u/idigclams Jan 13 '23

Why? This seems like EXACTLY what we should judge men by. Not the size of their truck, or the cost of their sports car, or the bluster of their rhetoric. Not how badass their tats are, or how angry they are at whatever. Just, "do you get laid?"

The hippie dude with the man bun is getting laid regularly, while the proud boy jerks off to revenge porn. Man bun wins!

2

u/Geno0wl Jan 13 '23

how do you judge people with low libidos or happen to be outright asexuals?

7

u/Lessthanzerofucks Jan 13 '23

Well, those people fuck the MOST. Metaphorically.

1

u/JEWCEY Jan 13 '23

Relevant username

1

u/mushroom369 Jan 13 '23

They are in the red

1

u/Lessthanzerofucks Jan 13 '23

It’s actually about how the book “Less Than Zero” totally fucks. I liked it, anyway.

1

u/JEWCEY Jan 14 '23

It still works with less than zero context

1

u/ChiifChokah0 Jan 13 '23

Riight my gosh there’s so much shwag out there I almost feel bad for women :P

2

u/ChiifChokah0 Jan 13 '23

This has been all of humanity for thousands of years. A culmination of you will

1

u/MathMaddox Jan 14 '23

But only the janitor knows

4

u/nedTheInbredMule Jan 13 '23

It’s not your fault. It’s not. Your fault.

9

u/deirdresm Jan 13 '23

More Suzi Wu.

17

u/iCantPauseItsOnline Jan 13 '23

Does this have some relevance to the above comment that I'm not picking up, or did you just share an unrelated ad to the company being discussed?

-1

u/deirdresm Jan 13 '23

It’s more about the next comment up (“Well. How do you like Tim Apples?”) because Suzi Wu’s song has the line “Um. Gonna eat that apple.”

Now that I watch that specific video, though, it doesn’t have that line in it, but I think there were other cuts (edit: of the ad) that did.

6

u/iCantPauseItsOnline Jan 13 '23

that makes sense, cool. not gonna lie, after I left that comment I took a gander at your profile to see if you were a bot, lol. sorry to doubt you so hard. I now love this /r/guitarporn sub XD

5

u/deirdresm Jan 13 '23

No worries!

I’m a contractor (software engineer) at the fruit co working in video production and one of the apps I worked on was for QAing variations of a video (different resolutions and aspect ratios). This was one of the videos used to test it, so I’ve seen (parts of) that ad about 5,000 times.

Since we’re in a guitar sub, here’s a lovely blue PRS I own.

2

u/iCantPauseItsOnline Jan 13 '23

Shit! That is beautiful. God damn. I've never had a PRS but everyone I know who does, loves it :D

big fan of you, friendo. have a great friday :)

1

u/youthfully_gleaming Jan 13 '23

When Trump introduced Tim to other tech CEOs, he called him Tim Apple. It was some kind of meeting at the White House, cant remember for what

1

u/BeardOBlasty Jan 13 '23

Fuck, Apple has always had stellar commercials.

Been so long since I saw a video ad all the way through hahaha

4

u/motor-vader Jan 13 '23

It’s a Trump / Good Will Hunting crossover

1

u/FatSilverFox Jan 13 '23

Will wouldn’t have needed any help determining the optimal number of dicks to jerks.

1

u/abrandis Jan 13 '23

We need another show in the vein of Silicon Valley doesn't have to be tech, any other self pretentious industry would do, would love to see centered around medicine, ...

1

u/Poopiepants666 Jan 13 '23

Wicked pay cut

1

u/squirrelyz Jan 13 '23

Louis CK’s bit on this scene from Good Will Hunting is incredible lol

1

u/_night_cat Jan 13 '23

Tim Apples vs Bill Microsofts in the Trons 3 is what I’m waiting for