r/tifu 40m ago

Mod Post [Mod Post] Vote for the Fuck up of the Month | September, 2022

Upvotes

r/tifu 13h ago

M TIFU by knocking on my gf(F20) parents door without them knowing me

3.0k Upvotes

OK, so I've been dating this girl for quite a while now, and things got really slow since she's in the military and has no time to meet up quite often which is fine, i work. later on our relationship our connection had been going down slow because her phone broke and she's broke so she'd dm on ig once a day from her semi-broken without sim spare phone she got from her friend which she uses their internet. So a week before the holidays in my country, I've visited her in her camp and we'd agreed to meet up in the holidays since we haven't had a proper chill time together. So things went on and she haven't contacted to me at all all the week and I got worried, that's where it went down and because that i had urge to meet her since we agreed meeting in holidays, so I came up with the idea to visit her, check on her if she's ok. and so on i dialed my one of my best friends(F24) and I asked her advice, my friend advice was: "Im not sure if shes into this kind of stuff but since she likes surprises and presents as you said, i dont think there should be any problems." So I came to her place with some chocolate and roses and knocked on the door and her father answered after few knocks and did sound kinda pissed and did not even opened the door to me, he asked who I am and told him my name, then he replied: E*** is not here, does she even know you? I replied with my name and left my gift near the door.

2 days Afterwards she dm that her Instagram account has been blocked and she had no contact with anyone for the past week and she is really pissed and it's was inappropriate and she said that it was kinda creepy and obsessive since she, as she claims that we spoke about that kind sort of things and she did expect me to wait till she text back.(I am not denying it since im more aware now) She did say that she got yelled by her father and it made the situation very uncomfortable for both of us since her intimate peaceful relationship with her parents got provoked. I did indeed apologized and told her it was a one time mistake, she did accept the apologize but she did ask for some space to "restart"

After awhile of thinking a remembering the things we spoke about i got to a conclusion that I need to stop overthink, overreact and relax more often. Because those things can effect your mental health and relationships . I never knew that thing like this will happen and my motives were very pure. I did not consider her legitimate privacy space and I just let my instrutive thoughts win and I did things without thinking twice.

Edit: you guys seem to doubt some information regarding my post, well we did in fact have FaceTime and whatsupp connections through out the first 3-2 months TL;DR I went to my gf parents home and my gf got yelled at because of me


r/tifu 1d ago

M TIFU by not knowing what a gallbladder attack was and thinking it was back pain for 10 years, and my not managing my care better.

2.4k Upvotes

EDIT: Today I apparently also fucked up the title. Sorry.

A number of years ago, I was at a red light and a woman texting and driving broke by neck and back in four places when she rear ended me. I'm only alive because I was in my SUV and not on the Harley. (I also can't ride anymore as a result, but whatever.)

Since then, I've had horrible back pain. It comes and goes, and is managed with regular massage, a TENS unit and some medication. Sometimes the pain would hit me right in my lower to mid back, but it felt deeper than that. I'd be unable to sit, stand or lie down - everything hurt. I'd be reduced to tears most of the time. I had one at work and had to be taken home in a wheelchair to the car and a co-worker drove me home. This happened 3-6 times a year, sometimes in the morning, sometimes at night.

I'm not sure I can describe how bad these attacks were - it felt like someone beat my lower to mid back with a baseball bat. They were literally debilitating and I would often fall asleep sobbing from the pain. Even the heavy duty opiods the VA had me on like Morphine barely touched the pain.

Along with all that, the 13 different drugs the VA used to have me on really messed up my stomach, and I had a bunch of issues with loose stool alternating with constipation and cramps. I always had diarrhea around these attacks but never put two and two together, because I didn't really understand what a gallbladder does. That was the first part of my fuck up - not knowing that.

If you don't know, it stores bile so you can digest fat. Without it, the fat just goes right through you, giving you loose stool or worse. Just like in your kidney, you can get gallstones. Those stones can block the duct, causing a buildup of bile. This entire time, I was experiencing a gallbladder attack, where it was having trouble doing its job because of the gallstones, so it was becoming severely inflammed, triggering the back pain.

Why wasn't this discovered sooner? My GP at the VA was treating my pain, and the specialist was treating my stomach issues. Guess who didn't talk to each other often enough? The revolving door of doctors at the VA kept me from having docs who talk to each other. That was the second part of my fuck up - I should have been on the different newly hired GP who I saw twice a year to read back through my notes and get caught up. Instead it was take vitals, renew meds, referral to specialist, out the door until six months later to meet a new GP when I came back for my bi-annual check up.

They removed the galbladder several years ago. When I woke up in recovery and the doc came to check on me, he told me that mine was the worst gallbladder he had seen in years. He described it as "riddled" with gallstones and said he was amazed I wasn't having more attacks.

I can't even tell you what a relief it is to not have the attacks anymore. It was well worth the change in diet and having to give up some foods. It also causes you to need the bathroom more than before but again, to hell with back pain.

EDIT: If y'all enjoyed this little tale, I'll put in a shameless plug for /r/militarystories, where I also write.

TL;DR: Thought my back pain was just back pain - it was gallbladder attacks caused by fatty foods and I didn't put two and two together or manage my revolving door of doctors correctly to diagnose this.


r/tifu 13h ago

M TIFU by kissing a guy on the cheek

28 Upvotes

TIFU by kissing a guy on the cheeks and then running away

So, I (20F) met this guy (23TM) on a dating app, like almost a year ago. We went on a couple of dates and it was mostly nice but then I shifted cities, and he shifted cities so nothing much. Recently, I shifted to a new city for my job and he was also there, and we went out a few times. It's mostly been decent, and I genuinely felt like he has no romantic interest in me. We just hung out as therapy friends (?) and talked about stuff with other people in our lives. The last date we went on was a little different, tho. We went to a nice garden, it was kinda romantic? We had street food, made impromptu plans, flirted a little bit. All in all, it was going great. Somewhere during the date he asked me if I was up for a kiss, and it really took me by surprise because I had no idea he was actually romantically interested in me. We were in a public place, so nothing really happened. But, and - here comes the fuck up - towards the end of the date, I was kinda sad to be leaving, and while we were in the train, I kissed him on the cheek. He was taken aback, and I. Well. I ran out the train. Legit. Ran out. Ughhhhh. I feel so cringe and wierd and teenagy about it like it was really really stupid. It was, like a stupid impulse? Idk. I apologised about it on text, and said that I should have asked first. He said he was okay, but idk. I felt like it was very invasive, and we were in a train so there is judgement of other people as well, idk. Like he said the people in the train were viewing him weirdly afterwards? (We live in a largely traditional, conservative, homophobic country, and this was in the ladies compartment) And anyway I feel like a dick for 1. Not asking and 2. Running like an idioit afterwards. Ugh. I apologised multiple times on text, and he said he was ok, but I don't think he is. We haven't talked after that and I think it's going to stay that way.

TL;DR : I kissed a guy i really like on the cheek in the train without his consent, and then ran away like a school girl.


r/tifu 1d ago

M TIFU by boofing 70% ethanol hand sanitizer

0 Upvotes

for the uninitiated, boofing is when you put a substance up your ass. there are various reasons one might do this, in my case it was to avoid throwing up hand sanitizer, as i had drunk it many times before to that end.

now i'm a smart little coookie, i thought i could beat the game. unlike everyone else, i knew the ingredients in this. ethanol and phenoxyethanol. i had boofed 5 squirts diluted in water already, it mildly worked. this time i decided to skip the water so it would be more concentrated, but i'd have to use the hand sanitizer bottle directly as it sticks to the side of any container you move it into. i went for it and got a good amount in my butt. instantly i felt the need to shit but that's what happens when you boof anything so i thought nothing of it. i hold it for 5 minutes then dilute the contents of my colon with water as i assume the gel is too viscous making it more like a solid and harder to hold. this is where it all goes wrong. after about 15 seconds i can't handle the urge to shit anymore and let loose on the toilet. it was messy.

i didn't realise until a little later, but putting a caustic chemical up there gave me bad diarrhea. the thing though? there was nothing in my colon to push out, so i just felt like i needed to shit really badly but when i went to, almost nothing came out. i would be on and off the toilet many times until i managed to get to sleep. for 3 hours. i woke up at 2 am and i needed to use the toilet again and again. the feeling wouldn't stop. it was barely a tiny amount of some liquid substance every time and left me still feeling like i needed to go. unlike a normal time when you boof something and it lingers for a few hours, this was different. this didn't seem like it'd ever stop, incapacitating me with the constant and extremely uncomfortable urge like after a night out at taco bell. it was torture but i tried my absolute hardest to sleep it off to no avail. i thought i had probably excreted a lot of sodium during this, because i was so tired but completely restless, my mouth was dry, and i couldn't pee despite drinking water.

eventually i eat some food to get my electrolytes up a tiny bit, but as my body is adjusting i start to think about what i'd actually done to myself. maybe this wouldn't go away, incapacitating me until tomorrow? or god forbid i've done permanent damage to my colon by putting 70% hand sanitizer up there. what if the constant feeling never goes away? or what if... i have to have a colostomy bag??? or i develop ibs??? like, at the very least my colon lining had been damaged badly. by 6 i get to sleep and wake up at 8 to eat breakfast. i threw up most of it. i needed to shit again so i did. then a few minutes later again. back to this... but it actually subsided shortly after with no further symptoms other than mild phenoxyethanol intoxication. safe to say i am no longer taking my rectum for granted, and i am thankful for how forgiving it was to me on this occasion.

TL;DR boofed hand sanitizer, got a free trial of IBS


r/tifu 5d ago Hugz Wholesome Helpful

M TIFU by telling me zookeeper girlfriend (22f) not to worry so much about her hygiene...

20.4k Upvotes

I (25M) have been dating this woman for a few months now, and honestly we get along really well.

About a month ago, I met her for dinner one night at a semi-fancy restaurant around 6pm. She arrived a little bit late, and was really apologetic saying "Oh gosh sorry, I probably smell so funky right now, I tried by best to wash and scrub but I know it wasn't enough."

She was pretty stinky. She works as an animal caretaker at the zoo and had to stay late that night, so I understood. That night was the first night I really noticed her stinking of animals.

It was strong at the same table (something between old fish and a ferret cage, yuck) and rather unappetizing, but not the sort of thing you could smell across the room, so I saw no reason it should ruin the dinner.

So I tried to reassure her and said "aw no you don't." She said "Oh don't lie, there's no way I smell ok right now."

So I said "I mean I guess there's a slight smell, but it just shows you worked hard...I've never been one of those weak-stomached guys who's going to complain about that, I really don't mind, honest, I'm used to animal smells anyway."

To my surprise her eyes lit up and she said "Wow, really, you're serious? That's so reassuring to hear," and starting opening up about how hard it was to make sure she always smelled good. That she'd often have to scrub for half an hour after work to even be somewhat presentable and sometimes even that wasn't enough, changes of clothes and boots, that she had to sometimes pick which days to schedule dates with me or run errands based around her off-days, or which animals she'd be working with that day, to make sure the stink wasn't too bad...

I said "wow, I had no idea it was that tough." I asked how other keepers dealt with it and she said most were single or dated within the profession and it was rare to find someone like me who genuinely didn't mind! So I reassured her that yeah, she doesn't need to be overly concerned about that with me. I could tell it meant a lot to her.

But I think this turned out to be a big mistake...

Over the past month, we've seen each other more often, and she's usually smelled okay, but there have been 4 or 5 occasions where she's smelled horrible. 10-20x worse than that night in the restaurant. These have been house dates and not at restaurants/etc. I have to breathe lightly to even try to stomach it, and it really kills my mood and leaves my house reeking.

tl;dr Told my girlfriend she didn't have to worry about her smell so much, she took it as a major green flag due to her line of work, now I either have to really let her down or resign myself to living in olfactory hell


r/tifu 4d ago I'm Deceased Silver Wholesome Gold

M TIFU by accidentally introducing my neighbours’ 7-year-old daughter to Cradle of Filth

3.9k Upvotes

First of all, for the younger users among us or anyone who may not be familiar with Cradle of Filth, they’re an extreme metal band who were popular in the 1990s among certain sects of the metal community.

Now, let me set the scene. This afternoon I was settling down in my flat here in Swindon, England after a long and exhausting morning spent helping my brother with some painting and decorating at his new house. I decided to put on one of my favourite albums of all time which happens to be by Cradle of Filth. Not feeling like wearing headphones, I decided to instead connect my phone to my bluetooth speaker. With bluetooth successfully connected, I went to Spotify and put on the album.

The opening track, a particularly brutal composition of dark, growling, scary, good old fashioned extreme metal, began to play. “Strange” I thought… I noticed the sound seemed to be particularly quiet and muffled in spite of my speaker being turned all the way up. So I ramped the volume on my phone all the way up to maximum, and finally the music was of reasonable volume. Still pretty muffled though, so I began to suspect my speaker was starting to wear out and in need of replacement.

I laid back on my sofa and cracked open a drink. I was knackered from my busy morning and in dire need of some rest.

About two minutes or so into the song, it suddenly cut out and I heard a loud wailing coming from my next door neighbours’ flat, followed by “MUMMY! DADDY!“ and some panicked cries. Worried, I put my ear to the wall to try to hear what was going on, and although I couldn’t make out every word, I heard the little girl telling her parents that some “scary noises“ suddenly started coming out of her speaker and that she couldn’t turn it off. My heart immediately sank as I realised what had happened. Turns out when connecting my phone to bluetooth I hadn’t selected my speaker at all, but somehow accidentally connected to the speaker belonging to my neighbours’ sweet, innocent seven-year-old daughter.

The crying and wailing continued for a good twenty minutes afterwards, as her parents desperately tried to console her. Eventually, by the sounds of it, they were successful in doing so.

Am I going to go next door to explain and apologise? Maybe someday. But that day certainly isn’t today. Today will be dedicated to digging myself a hole in which to hide in shame for the next ten years.

If anyone‘s curious as to what the offending song was, here it is: https://youtu.be/9nKuXPDtlLU Now just imagine this song suddenly and completely unexpectedly blasting out in a seven-year-old girl‘s bedroom at an almost deafening volume. Oh man, I’m never living this one down.

TL;DR: I accidentally connected to my neighbours‘ bluetooth speaker instead of my own, and scared the life out of their seven-year-old daughter with an extreme metal song.


r/tifu 2d ago

L TIFU By trying to look for forgiveness and fix the past.

0 Upvotes
Some backstory so you can understand. I dated a girl (let’s call her “J”)a long time ago , me and J were a long distance relationship, long story short it didn’t last , after we broke up , I treated her very badly and I’m ashamed of things I made her do. It’s always in the back in my mind what I’ve done to her even to this day I was horrible person. 


 I’m currently with the girl of my dreams(let’s call her “Z” ) me and Z have been dating for 5 years , we even have a kid, a baby girl. Words can’t describe how much this little girl means to me. Having a girl made me realize what I did to J  was truthfully awful and not okay what’s so ever, I kept thinking what If someone did the things I did to J, to my little girl. It made me feel guilty beyond I can describe. 

 Ever since then, I’ve been trying to say sorry and seek forgiveness to J, but she kept blocking me whenever I tried to talk about it. and I completely understand why. But in the back of mind was always that guilt. 

 Fast forward some more, couple of days ago, I was on some nsfw subs because reasons. I came across this post that mentioned J’s username. If anyone had her nudes. This made me feel some way, I’ll say this right now(it’ll be important later ) I still have feelings for J but as someone who just cares about her well-being and not in the romantic way whatsoever. I have my life and she has her life now I don’t want to ruin what I have. Anyways, I just wanted to tell her what I saw because if that was me I would like it if someone told me, and if possibly apologize for my actions.  

 I told j what I saw since she had me unblocked and she told me she knew about it  and thanking me for letting her know. Then I asked if we can talk, she asked about what , I told her I want to apologize for what I’ve done to her and how her life was going. She told me fine and she’s been dating some guy for couple years or something, I was generally happy for her. She asked why I wanted to say sorry because that was 6 years ago since we broke up and I did those things to her. I told her it’s always in the back my mind and guilt was terrible. 

  I told her I cared for her but like this “I still have feelings for you “ , but I didn’t say what kind of feelings, that’s my fault honestly but I thought it was pretty clear. Those “feelings” , I meant were friend feelings, honestly. And 100% don’t want to do anything with her, I just wanted us to be okay. I was seeking forgiveness so I could just move on and not have that guilt back in mind anymore. 

That night I texted her, I fell asleep and Z worked late that day, she came home , and she went through my phone (she said she had a bad feeling), she knows my passwords because I have nothing to hide. She’s beyond more then enough for me, she’s my best friend, I only want her and nobody else. Z’s honestly the best girlfriend and the best mother she can be to our little girl. I’m grateful she stuck with me so far. She saw my messages with J , like i said I only sent her “ I still have feelings for her “ but not those feelings, and she saw that. Z thought I was trying to cheat with her with J but that’s from the truth. This guilt has been killing me for the so long.

Now we’re in the biggest fight in our relationship. Idk what to do, I don’t want to lose my best friend. I feel so awful. I’m being honest when I say I just wanted me and J to be okay that’s it , be bygones be bygones. I didn’t want to pursue anything with her. J has her life and I have my life. I didn’t mention Z or my little girl , to J. I didn’t have enough time to tell her (she had to stop texting me at 10 for some shit idk) and I was gonna build up to it. I really don’t want to lose my best friend. I don’t wanna lose my family. I just wanted this guilt gone. If anyone has any advice that would be helpful. Please and thank u. Tl;dr: I told my ex that had feelings for her but didn’t mean those feelings and now my girlfriend and mines relationship is on thin ice.


r/tifu 5d ago Take My Energy Helpful

S TIFU by accidently hooking up with my former youth pastor.

11.8k Upvotes

This actually happened about a month ago, but I needed to recover mentally first.

I (24) temporarily moved back home for summer after graduating college.

One night I was bored and I went on tinder, I matched with an older guy, (37) but he was pretty good looking and we actually got along well, next day we decide to meet up. I felt like I recognized him from somewhere but it's a fairly small town so I didn't think much of it.

We meet up at a local bar, and well, one thing led to another and we ended up having sex in the back of his car. I was leaving the next week so I didn't really care what happened.

Next day is the only Sunday my mom has had off since ive been there, and she wants us all to go to church.

Guess who's doing the sermon that day? He immediately recognized me, and we make awkward eye contact for a second.

Then it hits me..

He. Was. My. Youth. Pastor.

I hadn't seen him in almost a decade.

I have no idea if he knew who I was right away or not, and I'd rather not know. I left in a hurry after the service.

Oh and I found out later he was married. So there's that.

TL;DR I was bored and went on tinder. I matched to an older guy and we hooked up. Found out the next day he was my old youth pastor.


r/tifu 5d ago

S TIFU by giving my classmate number to a stranger

63 Upvotes

Sorry if there are any misspellings, English isn't my first language.

Hi! I know that the title might sound horrible but hear me out. Me(15M) gave a classmate(15F) number to a stranger to a stranger, well not actually a stranger, he is from our school in the 10th or 11th grade. Today after class ended we headed for the park near our highschool, I exited the school the last because I was going to the bathroom. After I exited the school I was trying to catch up whit my friends but they were way too ahead and I didn't want to run because I have a leg issue. On my way to the park some dudes (they were 3) stopped me and asked if I know a girl from my group, I responded yes, she is from my class and they seemed happy. they got me to a retrieved corner and asked me for her number and nane, when I was trying to cut off the conversation they got me by the back of my head in a way that I couldn't run, but in a somehow friendly way and asked again the same thing. I got scared because in the past I got beaten up by some guys and needed hospital care. I gave them her number and name(like an idiot) and then made my way to the park. When I arrived there I saw my friends and made my way to them, but when I looked behinde I saw that 3 dudes looking at me in a kinda scarry way. I made my way home and texted one of them that I got to go home. When I reached my destination by classmates blew my phone up whit texts asking me why I've did that, saying that "they could get harmed by them, kidnapped" and some other bad things. I respond to them saying "that 3 guys weren't friendly at all and a bit aggressive", they say that I am a asshole for doing that and a duck for leaving.

What should I do?

TL;DR: I gave a classmate number to a stranger from our school and my friends blew up at me calling me an asshole.

Edit: she is cool whit it but still a little upset. I explained to her that I got beaten up before and she understood me. Type for all the comments.


r/tifu 6d ago

M TIFU parking my girlfriend's car

3.6k Upvotes

TIFU parking my girlfriend's car

I'm not quite sure if this is the best place to post it, but I'm feeling guilty enough that it seemed fitting. My girlfriend (25) lives about an hour away in a small town. She was going out of state for the weekend for her friend's bachelorette party and had to use the airport that's only a few minutes away from my apartment. We figured she would just pick me up from my apartment and I would just drive her car back.

All was going perfect, I had made her some coffee since she had to drive an hour to be at my place by 5:30AM, I dropped her off, then drove back to my apartment complex. Well about a week ago they had sent out a notice about guest parking and that fines would be handed out to anyone parked in the complex who wasn't a tenant. They specifically said the road in front of the complex was the only area for guests to park. So of course that's exactly what I did, i went out of my way to make sure her car was parked on the right side of the road even.

She was having such a great time over the weekend, and we really opened up a lot to each other emotionally and talked about how excited we were to see each other at the airport. On her last full day of the trip, I had gone to run an errand, and driving back I saw she had a green paper tucked under her windshield wiper. Initially I was annoyed thinking it was a warning to move the car because they specifically said it was guest parking. I went to check it out and someone had hit her car. The paper was an incident report. Without even thinking about it, I sent her a picture of the damage and the papers on who to call and I feel like I really just ruined her weekend.

She's already so stressed about money and now she's worried her rate will go up and I feel absolutely terrible. What's even worse is the incident happened the day she left and I didn't leave my apartment until two days later. I don't even understand how it happened because it's a wide street, wide enough for at least 4 cars I'd say. They hit the front of her car, so they had to have been literally all over the road, but her car was the only one parked there and it feels like had I just moved it forward a few feet this would have never happened.

She's been acting a little distant since I told her about it and I really feel like I ruined the good time she was having. I go to pick her up in a few hours and the anxiety is eating away at me. I was really looking forward to rushing out to hug and kiss her when I saw her but now I'm afraid she won't want to even talk on the drive back to her car. Honestly any advice on how to make it up for her would be helpful. I already told her I could pay for repairs, but with her rates going up, I don't know how much it will help.

Update: I picked her up from the airport and I could tell she was exhausted. The ride over to my apartment was a little quiet, but I really think she's just tired, she had to wake up at 3AM to get to her flight today. But we looked at her car and she looked at the debris and laughed saying that it seems like the other car got more damage. We loaded up her car with her bags and next thing I knew two hours had passed with us just standing by her car while she told me about a terrible book she read on the flight, how regretful she is that she let her friend paint her nails blue (she's the more butch-esque one out of the two of us, it's definitely a look 😅😂) and it was like everything was just fine! She even said herself that she had intended to see the damage and go because she was so exhausted, but it's like as soon as we started talking she woke right up 😁 I definitely got myself worked up over nothing, but I thank everyone for their advice!

TL ; DR My girlfriend was going away for the weekend on a trip. I parked her car on the road where guests are supposed to park and saw someone had hit it. I think I ruined her weekend by telling her what happened on the last day of the trip. But everything turned out just fine when she saw the damage and I think seeing it in person reassured her that it wasn't as bad as she was thinking.


r/tifu 4d ago

L TIFU

0 Upvotes

TIFU by cheating & now they’re under my skin

I am 23M // boyfriend is 24M // John is 24M

sigh frankly, I don’t know why i’m doing this but I don’t know what to do at this point.

I’m not really looking to get told im a POS bcus i know i am. I’ve been dating my current boyfriend for about 6 years & frankly, we’re happy & have become such a healthy couple dynamic. Anyways, there is this one guy (let’s call him john) that has been a constant in my life. John & i started out getting to know each other when we were both 14 and he had a GF the entire time so it stayed fairly platonic with me showing obvious feelings towards John.

John would lead me on & block me, then unblock me 2 days later to have me come over and “hang out”. i would get petty & threaten to show his gf at the time our texts. Anyways, it was all fairly toxic & i gave up on the idea of him and i dating a long time ago. Whenever john & i would meet up to “hang out” it would always be him insulting me or pushing/hitting me (it was like this for basically the entire time before i met my BF) but we just had REALLY INTENSE sexual chemistry. He was really well endowed, we were into alot of the same kinks, i had been the only one able to “fit” all of him in my throat, actually make him “finish”, and before my now-BF John was the only one that could get me to “finish” hands free, which if you’re a gay male or a female, is a pretty big deal.

Fast forward to when I was 17, i got into a relationship with my current boyfriend but John would still try to get me to “hang out”, to the point where he came to my building and told me he wasn’t leaving until i told him why we couldn’t “hang out” anymore. I told him and short of him saying “we’re over” he basically broke up with me, he cried from some reason?

Anyways, things were pretty good with BF but he would break up with me every like 6-8 months for like 1-3 weeks? Give or take. I thought at first it was to cheat without actually cheating but since he would forget to log out of his social media on my ipad, i’d see everything he did and he never “cheated” i’d also download Grindr just in case since we lived fairly close together and he had very specific stats. Found out recently it was because he was afraid things were getting too serious and thought giving us space would stop it from getting that serious and he was also trying to focus on just college because of an exam or something. After about 4 years of this, i got annoyed and when he broke up with me AGAIN I just blocked him and ignored him. Coincidentally that exact day John messaged me and asked to see me, so seeing that I was technically single I said why not, took the subway to his place, and as soon as i got there we just melted into each other and turns out he was with a new girl for over a year and after we “broke up” he broke up with his ex and basically REALLY tried to date guys but verbatim “none of them were like you” I told him that was nice but that i wasn’t really looking to get into anything and that basically ended up getting me insulted and kicked out lol.

My boyfriend ended up coming to my place a week later and we had a heart to heart saying he wouldn’t do that again and that me actually blocking him was like a wake up call that i was actually taking the break up serious and after alot of crying he basically said i don’t see my life without you and we never really broke up again after that and it’s been on the up and up since then.

Cut to 3 weeks ago when my boyfriend and I got into the most heated fight we have ever had, that short of us actually throwing hands was pretty violent (got really close to each others face yelling raising our hands like we would hit each other) and it ended with him storming out (we dont live together) and we were NC for about a week before I literally ran into John on the subway home (we live in the same borough) and we ended up sitting down for coffee/tea and he told about how he found out his gf was cheating (even tho he cheated on her with me lol) with his best friend, his mom basically shit on him for being bi and alot of other life shit and for the first time we actually had a very genuine conversation.

Anyways, we went on our separate ways because in my mind my BF & I are still together since we never said “we’re over” or “we’re broken up” and for the next few days after that i started checking up on him cus idk that’s just how i am with people who are going through it and 4 days ago he asked me to come over because he wanted to watch a new movie and well the entire movie we cuddled, he literally pulled me in to cuddle with him. we weren’t even remotely mean to each other and had an actual conversation after years of only knowing him as someone who was toxic and had good dick. He just did things i never expected him to do that day and it really fucked with my head. He kissed my forehead while we were watching the movie, called me cute, taught me how to smoke out of an apple, offered for me to sleepover, passed me water after doing the deed, when we were “adult hugging” it was different from every other time cus it was just slow, passionate, and he just took his time with me and I literally finished about 5 times and i was begging for him to finish cus i was literally going to pass out and when he did finish he just laid on top of me, inside me, for a really long time. Just holding me and kissing me. We fell asleep together for the first time and I woke up to him having ordered us breakfast and offering for me to stay the rest of the day with him but I had to work. He dropped me off at work and told me thank you for everything and that he can’t wait to see me again. After coming down from the high of it all I realized that, I did cheat on my boyfriend and despite it being one of the best nights i’ve had with John ever, I don’t think it trumps all the years i’ve had with my boyfriend.

My boyfriend ended up surprising me at work yesterday with flowers and taking me to dinner and apologizing for everything and i did too but when we were doing everything we normally did I couldn’t stop thinking of John. I still haven’t. I am in love with my boyfriend and I do not see my life without him at all despite our flaws but as cheesy as this sounds i can feel john UNDER MY SKIN. I went to get tested the day after i did stuff with John just in case because we did do everything unprotected.

John has been messaging me asking how i’m doing and i’ve just been giving him really dry answers. I haven’t told my boyfriend and he doesn’t think this counted as a break up either so, yeah. It’s eating away at me.

TLDR: toxic FWB & I actually had a genuine night for once & it fucked with my head hard.

Edit: i’ve only seen John twice since i’ve been with my boyfriend.


r/tifu 4d ago

M TIFU by spending all of our money by accident

0 Upvotes

So, for reference my partner F27 and I NB29 are on income assistance aka welfare because both of us have bad mental health and can't work because of it. I have severe depression coupled with anxiety and my partner has extreme social anxiety. So neither of us is able to work.

To make things easier, we get our monthly benefits split into two cheques; one at the end of the month (usually just over $200) and the other around the middle of the month (around $175) the remainder of our benefits gets paid into our rent for us.

My fuck up happened just this morning. I'm already exhausted and not doing well.

So, basically, we got our welfare in the bank via direct deposit and so I decided "Ok, I'll pay some of what I owe into my phone bill since its behind and I kinda need it." Harmless. I normally pay into our hydro and our phone bill before we go get groceries.

In hindsight, I really shouldn't have done this upon first waking up but I've done this in the past and nothing has come of it. Anyway, I digress.

I decided to pay through my phone provider's app. Then, I THOUGHT I put an amount of $50 to pay, and then at the end of the process of verifying my payment info and on the checkout page when it was done - mind you, it didn't give me a review page where it should have been like "Hey! Are you sure you want to pay this amount? Does everything look correct?" NO! IT JUST WENT THROUGH AND SAID "Thank you for paying $215.18"

NOW I'm awake upon seeing that amount. I HAD JUST ACCIDENTALLY PAYED THE ENTIRE OWING AMOUNT THAT I WAS GOING TO PAY OFF WITH A COMBINATION OF GST AND CARBON TAX AND NOW ALL OF OUR GROCERY MONEY IS GONE!!!

I did the smart thing and went to the customer service chat to see if I could fix it.

I made my point and let them chat rep know that it was important and that it was food money. (I understand it's my problem not theirs as to any reason why I need money back)

He said he understood and he really wanted to help. We went through the chat process and he even talked to his supervisor apparently.

In the end of it all, he said there was nothing he could do because I paid what was owed and there was no actual credit on the account. He couldn't just refund what I paid so I could pay my intended amount and be on my way.

Nope!! So, I'm obviously flabbergasted and trying to come up with something to say to try and work something out.

I guess I took too long BECAUSE HE LEFT THE CHAT AND THAT WAS THE END OF IT!!!

SO NOW IM HERE HAVING AN ANXIETY ATTACK BECAUSE I FUCKED UP AND I CANT FIX IT!!! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO AND I CANT STRESS ENOUGH THAT I HATE MY PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER!!

I also called the bank a little bit after to see if they could do anything but since I didn't pay through my banking app itself they can't fix it either.

So, that's it. I've fucked us.

Luckily, my partner has been SUPER understanding and super gentle with me. I'm so lucky to have her. This experience has toyed with my suicidal thoughts and my partner has been helping me calm down all morning.

TL;DR I spent all of our grocery money on one bill when I only meant to pay some of it for now and now we have no money for food.


r/tifu 6d ago

S TIFU by craving pancakes

230 Upvotes

Today I fed up by wanting crisp cinnamon pancakes for breakfast.

I woke up and my first thought was cinnamon pancakes. I couldn't find the pre-made mix so I, in my idiocy, decided I would make them from scratch. My recipe called for milk, as it should, but here's where everything goes wrong.

I initially thought it looked way too chunky, but oh it's probably because I mixed it wrong, right? It smells weird.. that's because I just need to cook it, right? They won't cook correctly? Oh it's fine! I mean what do I know, I've never done this before. Why did I ignore the signs..

Time skip to 2 consumed pancakes later. I thought they tasted off so my initial thought was I did something wrong, but then I noticed.. the milk had gone bad about a week ago. Kicker? I found the premade mix in the cupboard. I can already feel my stomach doing cartwheels.. I am currently writing this in terror for my bathroom and stomach.

TL;DR I wanted pancakes, and ignored all the signs. Now my bathroom and I are in for a milk-fueled nightmare.

Edit: i could have sworn I did edit this earlier- but anyways, it's been a day and the smell still lingers, my stomach feels better, and I've thrown out the milk! It's morning now tho.. I'm thinking eggs for breakfast this time


r/tifu 7d ago Wholesome

M TIFU by playing Musical Statues with my daughter and her friends

6.2k Upvotes

So my daughter (3) is starting to make friends in the new area we've moved to (we've been here about a year, but she's not really been old enough to go out and play on the street yet). They're a great group of kids, and they mostly get on great (minus the usual childhood based tantrums).

The one she sees the most is Sarah (name changed, 5). Sarah lives just a couple of doors down, and they are constantly in and out of each others houses. My daughter met a lot of kids on the street through Sarah, so it's been a bountiful friendship for her.

Today, a bunch of about 6 of them was playing in our garden. They were doing the usual stuff - playing on the trampoline, playing football, chasing each other etc. Eventually I suggested a game of musical statues (where you dance whole the music plays, and freeze when it stops). Everything was going ok, and I started letting the kids pick their favourite songs to play. 

We got the usual fare of Disney song demands , nothing that unexpected. Until Sarah - she asked for "Let's get down to Business", which YouTube had clarified for me as "Tiësto - The Business". To be honest, I hadn't heard the song before, and because I was starting and stopping it, I didn't really pay any attention to the lyrics.

Later I walked the girls round the block and took them home - when I got to Sarah's house, her parents asked me in for a coffee and a chat about what they'd got up to. I filled them in, and told them about Musical Statues as well. I asked Sarah "Sarah, how did you know that song? I haven't heard it before." Before anyone else could talk, she said without skipping a beat: "Mummy and Daddy play it in their room when they lock their door, it's loud!"

It took a minute for the penny to drop for me, bur Sarah's mum's face going red sped the process along quickly! I hurriedly bundled my daughter out, and when I told my wife about it, she laughed her ass off at my misfortune as I laugh/despaired into my hands.

TLDR - A game of musical statues with the kids revealed the music that my neighbours like to fuck to.

EDIT - Saw all those CBAT comments, had no idea what that was until I clicked one of the links. Holy shit, that is ear cancer.


r/tifu 5d ago

S TIFU by bringing a dab pen to a concert venue

0 Upvotes

To preface: this happened on Saturday night.

I went to DC with some friends to see Zedd, this was my first EDM concert and I had never been to this venue. Days prior to the concert I was looking info on what to expect at this venue, and their website didn’t have a list of what you can and can’t bring. I saw some people saying they were able to bring in vapes, so I thought I could get away with bringing in my dab pen as weed is legal in DC as well.

I did hit my pen a few times while waiting to get in, and I tried to hide it deep in my bag under my wallet, my dumbass really thought they wouldn’t look that far. When I had my bag searched I was told I couldn’t bring in the cart but I could keep the battery, so I either had to throw it or take it back to my car. However, I took the metro because driving in DC is scary so I had to throw it. I got that cart last Thursday so I had barely used it, $30 down the drain right there.

During the concert I definitely smelled weed so I assume some people were more successful in sneaking that stuff in, and my friends were telling me I should’ve hid it in my shoe. Now I know if I ever go to this venue in the future that I can’t just bring my pen. I was honestly being a dumbass. But at least I still have the battery component so I’ll just get a new cart.

TL;DR I brought my dab pen to a concert venue in dc thinking I could get away with it as weed is legal there, only to have to throw away my new cart. $30 down the drain.


r/tifu 7d ago

S tifu by ending a relationship

971 Upvotes

This story happened yesterday but I feel like it still fits here. I (M15) broke up with my girlfriend (F15) yesterday, and since then I've been a nervous wreck and I've cried more than I did in out entire year long relationship. I still have a few of her sweaters, and a ring and bracelet she gave me for our one year anniversary. I've seen her smile more in the last 2 days than I did in our entire relationship, and part of me thinks that breaking up is the best thing to do. She thinks that it was just the wrong time for our relationship and I agree, however I also know that I'll never forget any of the amazing memories I made with her. Back at Christmas we went snowmobiling on a frozen pond and watched the sun set, and I know that I will never be able to forget that day. She told me that she wants me to be happy and get with other people until we're both ready to be together, but I can't deal with my overthinking that she'll get with someone way better than me. Her friends and family didn't like me very much, and I don't understand why, because my friends and family absolutely love her. I told my stepmom about what happened and I could see she almost cried because she knows how much I love this girl.

TLDR, I ended my relationship to make someone else happy. Any advice?