He died doing what he loved — venting.

Don’t feel bad for Ronald. He landed a gig with Insane Clown Posse.

You say cold weather but I’m going with bad breath.

Has anyone been tracking that German shepherd’s bank account?? Want to be sure he wasn’t paid to take a dive.

If you want to try this with a beer bottle, make sure it’s a Lite beer.

Also they are the same people at parties who dip a chip, take a bite, and dip again.

And here I was thinking the only way you could get a person or group this enthusiastic and pumped would be to announce “Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Conway Twitty!”

Cops will just change tactics and we’ll see a new, giant police-car shaped roast beef sandwich in the parking lot.

“Sorry I forgot our anniversary honey. I was missing a peso.”

At that point, an appropriate response from Williams when he realized he would be writing the complete musical composition would've been "Score!"

Beware that you're new-found fame will lead you to wealth beyond your wildest dreams. It will cause you to buy new cars and houses, party with celebrities, and do lines of the very highest quality. Yet your substance abuse will turn into massive, out-of-control addictions, causing you to steal money and lash out at friends and loved ones and make several embarrassing public scenes. This reaches a boiling point when your crazy stripper girlfriend decides to get revenge on you and burn down your new house. Out of despair, you drive off drunk and you end up hitting and killing an innocent bystander, where you split the scene without anyone knowing. You will be on the run for years, all the while drinking and doing drugs to hide the pain.

Then one day, you decide to sober up. After a week of sobriety, you remember it's time to post your picture to /r/pics.

With this Dorito, you could get a lot of Lays.

That’s a lucky hen! If times get tough, the favorite’s always the last one eaten. Just like the children.

Even though it's the preseason, critics think you'll make the team. They say you have a real Canon for an arm.

Anyone know if people actually wear the “Don’t Fauci my Florida” shirts his campaign sells? Admittedly, it’s hard to tell especially when the buyers’ loved ones decide to go closed casket.

But if this guy goes away, who's going to protect Alex Jones from poachers when Jones is grazing on the savanna?

Well if the Taliban really do claim to follow Sharia law, they must abide by the passage in the Quran that states, "the women are subject to a charter certification review given by the board of trustees," and that they "have the right to bypass expulsion and subjugation by completing a series of activities that range from academics and athletics to community service, school spirit, and debate." If they can complete all the activities successfully and their average is above 60%, they can return. Just hope the starchy Taliban dean doesn't try any funny business, like bribing a member of the student council with empty promise to get her into law school.

And the great thing is you can reuse this costume at bars that do a Vestigial Patrick Swayze Day.

Investigators still haven’t determined the caws.

Cool, as long as I get a running start before he tries to buy lions and bears from the local circus.

I'm glad he did the work in an undisturbed setting. It would have sucked if he had spent days on the portrait, only to discover at the end that one of his smart-ass roommates had crept up behind him and given him bunny ears.

This is how I feel when I order something at a restaurant and the server tells me "Excellent choice."

Well it's no wonder DeJoy was fighting this tooth and nail. If he gets released he will lose his right of "prima nocta," giving him first night's mating rights for newly-created mailboxes.