Yikes yikes yikes. Something isn't right with this dude.

NTA. He THREW IT AWAY?! The wastage is horrifying, and it's something you actually need rather than want.

If I might ask, what kind of pillowcase is it? I suspect it's silk, but I'd love to know--nice pillowcases/bedding are my splurges in life

Adding that a lot of commercial laser pointers are stronger than they should be to be safe for human eyes. Accidentally shining laser pointers into cats' eyes is pretty common while you're zipping it around, and can actually cause damage.

Yeah, because that's what "dumb" meant at first, at least in Old English. At some point the meaning changed, potentially due to Germanic influence, where "dumb" did meant stupid. Not to say that people didn't call non-speaking people names and so it became much more derogatory (sort of like how "retarded" used to be medical and now it's a slur), but it does seem that this may have been an unfortunate coming together of words in different languages and/or a natural semantic change.

"Dumb" didn't always mean "stupid", it quite literally used to mean "non-speaking".

But of course, we shouldn't use it now.

The reason is that we don't have enough information. Sure one thing might be a little more likely than another, but assumptions aren't getting us anywhere. It's still possible that Cho's family comes from China, or Malaysia, or Singapore, or she could be Korean. JK hasn't said anything so far and until she does, we can't really say one way or another.

That's why I think that people who believe that her name sucks and people who think her name is fine are both valid.

Wait, sad boys? As in they're into guys that are depressed?

I'm so hoping that's a typo because if not, damn

Put the cat in the litter, take its paw and sort of dig with it.

I'm not sure if this is legit, but with my first cat, the first time it pooped outside of the litter box (one day after we first got her), I took the poo and put it in top of the litter, then brought my cat (then a very small kitten) over and showed her. She immediately went and buried the poop. Used the box perfectly since. That said, she was a stray and had already been in the habit of burying her poop, but just hadn't used a litter box before so maybe that made the difference

We did read it. OP could've very easily said, "Don't do this on my behalf". She seemed on board with the decision too-though I do agree that the husband sucks more, they both suck for doing doing that.

And also, it doesn't sound like her sister needs babysitting! Of course with disabilities she will probably need some extra help, but at least mentally she sounds fully functional.

No one's saying the OP shouldn't have tried with Tristan. But she shouldn't have tried to keep him from what sounds to be his primary parental figure. Honestly, it sounds like that was what started Tristan's resentment towards her.

And for some families, it's because the parents are working! My grandmother basically raised me because my parents were really busy working. She was like a third parent, and I was lucky to have her. Her and my parents sometimes butted heads about methods and discipline and all that, but nothing too serious, and I think we were all better for the relationship we had

In one of the comments, OP admits that the grandma was in a parent role because the father was not "good with emotional labor", and also took care of the kid frequently, on weekends, etc. Of course he didn't establish boundaries; then he would've had to care for his own kid.

It does seem like grandma was a primary parent before OP came into the picture, then told to suddenly go back to being a grandma to make room for OP. I don't think it's surprising that the kid and grandma didn't take this well.

Everyone else has already suggested food baskets, but handwritten cards to each of them would probably be appreciated too. It's been a hard year for EMTs especially, and a reminder of how much good work they do would probably be really nice. And the guy who helped your dad would really be able to know how much his actions meant to you all.

I can understand not showering every single day if you haven't been sweating, but once a week?! Do you really not smell him?

I think your bathing habits are completely normal.

I don't even know you, but girl, you can do better. Basic hygiene is a pretty low bar to meet.

It's different though--you can't really compare the norms of different cultures like that. I'm a Mandarin speaker, and I've never seen someone's name be a surname. It looks jarring and strange, and not "normal" the way Reagan, Kennedy etc are. If Cho Chang is some other ethnicity, then this is moot. But we don't know what her ethnicity is, or what characters comprise her name, or what her name is supposed to mean. But I'm just saying that at least for Chinese people, having your name be a surname is definitely very weird.

This isn't really an accurate description of etymology though. We don't know which characters JK meant to use for Cho Chang's name. So OP could be right, but all the people saying that her name is comprised of two surnames could also be right. Mandarin, Cantonese, etc have a lot of homonyms.

At least to a Mandarin speaker, Cho Chang's name does actually sound pretty bad, in an almost stereotypical way.

Yeah, as a Mandarin speaker--her name sounds pretty bad in Mandarin, and it really does sound like two surnames. I guess I hadn't realized that Cantonese speakers felt differently.

Cho sounds a lot like 周 (zhou, pronounced similarly), which actually is a surname. I speak Mandarin and am Chinese, as are many of my friends, and actually a large proportion of us don't like Cho Chang's name.

I respect that you do, but I think that criticism of Cho Chang's name is pretty valid. We don't know exactly which characters JK meant to use, which would change the judgement significantly. But at least to a Mandarin speaker, it does actually sound like she has two surnames.

So I always thought that Cho was Zhou or 周, which, combined with Chang or 张, would mean that her name is comprised of two surnames. I speak Mandarin, as do many of my friends, and actually a large proportion of us don't like Cho Chang's name.

I respect that you do, but I think that criticism of Cho Chang's name is pretty valid.

Fact of the matter is, we don't know if JK meant Cho Chang to make sense in Cantonese, Mandarin, Korean etc. because she never released her exact ethnicity or the names etymology, or the characters that make up her name. So in terms of debate, neither of us can say we're right. But since this is the situation, I don't think you can say that people who criticize Cho Chang's name are completely WRONG

Edit: Jeez, why the downvotes for stating facts? Everyone's opinion is valid because we just don't have enough info.

I see what they're saying now, but they used the word "replaced", which to me implied that karate was out so breakdancing could be in. Anyway, I think we're on the same page here

Agree with your judgement, but quick note that not all Muslims think this way. I'm not Muslim myself, but many of my friends who are will get their own cookware because they won't eat from things that have contained pork. For some, it extends to not even going to non halal establishments because they don't want to use their glassware and dishware, which may have contained alcohol or pork. The country I'm from has lots and lots of halal places, so this isn't difficult to do.

Being non Muslim, I don't "get it" per se, but I respect it.

That to me makes a little more sense though. If someone who's pescatarian because they're allergic to something in chicken, beef, pork, etc. gets traces of other meats because the dishwasher missed a spot, they could get very sick.

But still, why not just yell at her for blabbing about the pregnancy? That would be totally justified. Why bring up all the past ways she's embarrassed you? That was the part that was too much for me.

Even so, seems like you responded with a personal attack in response to your grief. Of course her family would get upset. Maybe they shouldn't have bombarded you right then, but even so. I'd be responding differently if you'd gotten mad at her for what happened, rather than digging up unrelated things from the past

ESH. Your aunt was wrong to tell other people's secrets, but you and your wife suck more because you sent a MASS EMAIL detailing your aunt's many faults in response to your aunt's APOLOGY. She shouldn't have told everyone, but she called to apologize and you guys lashed out and went straight for the jugular. Tbh it sounds like anger and grief at the miscarriage turned into anger at your aunt, who was an easy target.

Edit: my bad, not a mass email. Judgement still stands based on personal attack unrelated to the pregnancy blabbing