I think manipulating has a negative connotation it doesn’t deserve. That’s exactly what your describing. Leading someone to the edge of a conclusion is * manipulating them. It’s not a bad thing. Eithan is *right all of the time. But he doesn’t tell people. He manipulates them into seeing it for themselves. He’s a great friend and incredibly intelligent. But it can be a bit exhausting to have friends who always know better than you. Eithan manipulates by habit. He even admits that he needs to be better about explaining stuff. It’s just not his nature. When he knows that he knows better than others, it’s just easier to manipulate than explain. But we as humans naturally want to feel like we have a choice in things. If he explained why blackflame was the path Lindon needed from the beginning instead of pretending he had a choice, Lindon would have still chosen black flame. He would have just done it trusting that Eithan knew what he was doing, and with more knowledge.

I don’t think Eithan is a bad mentor. But I think Eithan can be a bad friend sometimes. He always thinks he knows best, and rarely considers the feelings of the people he manipulates into doing what he wants. He’s usually right, but it’s just not a good way to be a friend. A truly good friend trusts the judgement of their friends and gives them the information needed to make a choice, trusting them to make the right one. Eithan gave Lindon a lot of unnecessary information to point him the direction he wanted instead of just being upfront and honest. Honesty is something Lindon would have appreciated. I love Eithan. And I see a lot of myself in him which is why I’m so critical of the way he acts. I’ve been working recently on not forcing friends to do what I know is beat, but to be up front and tell them why the decision I want them to make is the right one.

If you don’t mind a little anecdote: I recently had one of the best people I know lose his best friend over a girl. I knew that the person (let’s call him a) was wrong in dropping his best friend. I knew he was being stupid and letting his pride get the best of him. He knew it too. But words that couldn’t be taken back had been said. The best friend (well go with b) was willing to be friends again but a had threatened to beat the shit out of b if he ever saw him again and b didn’t want to cause problems. They both wanted to be friends. They just wouldn’t admit they were wrong to each other * though they both admitted it to me. B had been bugging me to hang out with him for a couple years (it’s a long story there) and I finally told him, “hey. I miss you too. Let’s hang out. But on the condition that *a comes too.” He agreed. I then told a that I wasn’t comfortable hanging out with b, and I needed him there as backup if he was willing. Well we all met up at a bar and played some pool. Then they talked out their issues (which they should have done on their own but pride is a hard thing to get over). I manipulated them into talking, because they needed it. They both knew what I was doing. I wasn’t hiding my goal from them. But they needed manipulating to get over their own pride. I tell this story because I don’t think manipulating is a bad thing. But I think it’s an easy thing. The harder (and in my opinion, better) thing would have been to just be honest and say, “I know you’re both to proud to do this on your own, so I’m going to set up a time for you to talk, and then what happens, happens”. I didn’t do that because it wasn’t as easy as manipulating the situation to make them be together at the same time and letting them organically bring up their issues. Manipulating isn’t inherently bad, but it can be the easy answer we take when we don’t want to deal with other people’s agency.

Eithan does this constantly. Did I know that these two best friends stopped being friends for no reason? Yes. Was I willing to put in the work to let them see that? No. I forced the issue because it was an easier solution. That is the way Eithan lives his life. It’s easier to manipulate the situation to show people why he’s right than it is to explain to them, so he does that. I don’t think it’s wrong, but I think it’s lazy.

I'll preface this by saying it's going to be very long. I don't think Yerin or Huan were really being malicious. Remember, Eithan has cultivated an aura of mystery and self-concern (constantly talking about his gorgeous hair, etc). Yerin, Lindon, and Huan are all his *friends*, and He constantly manipulates them. He got Lindon arrested, set up a duel against a high-gold when Lindon was a copper (and had been practicing the sacred arts for about 5 months and had a single technique that didn't do any phyiscal damage. He manipulates Lindon and Yerin into their chosen paths, always saying he will accept if they choose one of the other, clearly worse options, because he is so magnanimous. But they would definitely regret choosing anything but what he thinks is best of course. He always gives them options but manipulates them into doing what he wants. It doesn't help that he's always right.

He breaks into Huan's personal chambers, causing a lot of issues for Huan and the empire he runs. He opens up the Black Flame Trials without asking (one of many things he takes the forgiveness over permission approach with). He starts a sect in Lindon's name without bothering to ask or even tell Lindon about it. He forces Lindon to greet the Emperor instead of doing it personally. He constantly holds back information and keeps secrets (early on). When asked about Oz's marble he says he'll tell Lindon later, even though Lindon has been open with him about Suriel. He manipulates Daishou into opening the Labyrinth. He causes Lindon to lose an arm because he isn't willing to intervene until Daishou makes his move. He even admits to Lindon he could have prevented it. At one point, I believe Eithan even asks Yerin if she really hates him that much, and she says no, she just likes messing with him (which he does to everyone else so it's a taste of his own medicine anyway). Lindon is trying to profess his undying love to Yerin, and Eithan keeps trying to walk in on them.

Eithan is definitely my favorite character. He's hilarious, he's still incredibly powerful and follows a non-traditional path that he is incredibly successful with (although pure madra paths would be useless if everyone had them, so I guess it'd have to be non traditional). He's just the right amount of serious and comic relief to really be portrayed perfectly. The thing is, I love Eithan as an audience member. If I was the one he put in jail (for using a path he manipulated me into, lost an arm to his manipulations, constantly had to deal with him spying on me, never felt like I had a private moment (they can't be intimate when he's even a mile away without him knowing), I can see how it would be really frustrating in a friend. They still love him. They still respect him. But they want to see him get a little frustration every now and then.

And finally, the most important point: Eithan is basically untouchable for anyone near his level of advancement (excepting, maybe Lindon). His path allows him to negate their techniques easily. Yerin was incredibly excited when she just managed to cut a single lock of his hair when they were preparing for the Uncrowned. And that was before he showed her what he could really do and went crazy on her. She says she dreams about kicking him, and I think it's not a malicious dream. It's just a fact that she knows she's not gonna be able to do it probably ever, and she dreams of being able to put him in his place, knowing full well that she can't, because he's stronger. So while I think Will put this in the book for humor purposes, it's honestly pretty much what I'd expect. Everyone wants to hit Eithan when he's being insufferable, but very few people can; this was Yerin letting one of his friends have the opportunity.

I scrolled down to see if I was crazy or if I’ve read this exact same story on here before. Was looking for a comment like this. Looked at ops history, and it was created the same time as this post.

I was a computer repair technician out of high school. And I also sold computer parts and computers retail. But coding requires a completely different skill set. My first assignments were easy tickets that my mentor walked me through if I had any snags. It was basically him finding the easiest tickets for me to work on and helping me when I needed it but mostly me figuring it out and asking help with company specific stuff.

And I could have done all of my programming specific stuff without knowing anything about computers.

I and a lot of my friends did a 3 month boot camp. I got hired on immediately after at 60k. So did two other people I graduated with. Three of my friends got hired at 70k. Three of my friends got hired on at 55k and one was raised to 60k after 8 months.

One of the friends who was hired on at 55 got let go after 7 months, was unemployed a bit during the pandemic then accepted a job for 71k that he was let go after about 4 or 5 months and then got a job making 91k.

It depends where you live. Average starting pay around here (Cincinnati) is 55-71k. But the easiest way to get a raise is to go to a new job after a year or two for what’s usually a 10-20k raise. I had another friend start as a sys admin making about 45k. He taught himself coding and took a dev ops job after a year and a half that paid 75k. After 6 months he got hired in full time and the pay was raised to 99k. Software engineering can pay well. But usually not unless you jump from company to company if you want the big bucks. And anyone making 6figures straight out of boot camp/college has to be living in a hcol area because entry level dev pays entry level dev pay. Which is usually enough to put you into upper middle class or barely into upper class for your area.

…No. Zuckerburg made facemash well before Facebook. It certainly gave him inspiration for Facebook, but it was a completely different site that lasted less than two days before it was taken down.

So I didn't even think of this until your comment, but it's actually doubly interesting. Forsworn is the past participle of the verb foreswear (or forswear depending on whether you prefer the archaic or current spelling). So one a sharp word not for swearing and one a word that is forsworn.

That's a clever bit of wordplay, and not something I'd ever noticed before. If it's "not for swearing" it could be a word (word being short-hand for swear as in 'to give one's word') that isn't "for swearing" but also, could be a corrupted version of "forswearing", eg the present participle of forswear and in the WMF version it's the past participle of the same word.

Rothfuss has more schooling than most people, and he originally majored (well graduated, I suppose as he actually started out in chemical engineering) in English. I think that there's something here, with both quotes relying on the past and present participle of the word foreswear (or forswear, again depending on your preference). I'm going to need to think about this some more, because I definitely think there's something there.

That’s not quite what forsworn means. I’m this context it probably means to go back on an oath. A word that is forsworn probably means someone made an oath that needs to be forsworn to unlock it. But forsworn can also mean to give something up. So a word that is forsworn could also mean someone giving up using a specific word or even just speech in genera. Maybe that’s why kvothe changed his name.

Others have already said it, but I’d also be more than willing to send you a book or two from Amazon.

Also, I don’t know you, or much of your story, but if it would mean anything to you I’d also be more than happy to write you an encouraging letter and send it to you. Something that I’ve found has always helped and uplifted me is a little poem called the Desiderata by max ehrmen. I think it really helps if you’re ever struggling with self doubt or feeling worthless.

I really like how the artist manages to show different things to different people. I see the black of the no picture and it really evokes the void of lindons icon. And the white of the title text brings to mind the link between his hunger atm/madra and his icon.

I refer to my contacts as my eyes. In the morning I often tell my gf “I need to put my eyes in first”.

You got downvoted for your assertion that investment must grant capital gains. That’s one definition of investment, but not the only one. Another one is to devote time or money to something with the expectation of a worthwhile result.

What’s the ROI of something like this? A well-read and educated population. Less violence. Better paid writers. Oh and the third consecutive year of Finland being rated number one for the happiness and qol of their population. Must be working out for them.

We have a lot of holiday decorations so quite a few of mine have gone to rolling those up so they stay untangled when we pull them out the next year. It’s actually a really amazing use, because I finally don’t have to worry about untangling the stupid light strings.

See that's why I hate the term "IT professional". Network engineer or Network admin is probably the one area where I would actually believe the claim that you can't really hide something on your network. Especially if you have your network set up at home the way most of the people I know who are really into networks do.

But yeah I think the best thing to do with kids (just from my experience being a kid, we're DINKs so my only experience with raising kids is my 5 nieces and nephews) is to have a conversation about safe internet use and the reason for it. It sounds like you've done at least enough of that so the kids have at an idea of what they should and shouldn't be doing, and that's really the best way to do it, imo.

Money for the fair is not a required part of supporting children. Not being able to afford $60 for the fair is definitely a great reason to stop having children. The average cost of pregnancy in the US is $4500. The average cost of a child even in a country that has healthcare that isn't criminal is around $1000 per month. If you don't have $60 extra dollars in your bank to take the kids to the fair you don't have the money for another child. In addition, while I think having siblings is great, I think giving the children she has the best childhood possible should be more important than adding another sibling that she can't afford.

The commenter you replied to didn't say she should get rid of her children or can't support her children. Just that she should stop having them (since OP said the sister is considering a 7th child).

I agree, and I would probably personally have a *conversation* with my sister about her situation before calling CPS on her (in a situation that warrants it. I don't think not having money warrants a call to CPS). And honestly, CPS (in my experience) is pretty useless anyways. Even in cases of actual abuse with documented police calls they really don't do much.

That being said, I think you may have missed the

and is planning on making more

part of the commenter's point. If you can't afford tickets to the fair ($60) then you sure as hell can't afford the over $4,000 that pregnancy costs, on average, with insurance (assuming, based on going to Chuck-e-Cheese that this is in the US. If OP is referring to one of the few Chuck-e-Cheese ('s?) in Cananda, where childbirth costs about $10CAD, then the average cost of a child is still around $1000 each month.

I think what the commenter you're replying to meant was just if this person can't afford tickets to a fair for 6 kids, they certainly cannot afford the cost of an extra child. And when someone complains about how they don't have money because they have eight mouths to feed, they should not be considering adding an extra mouth to the equation.

“IT professional” doesn’t mean anything. Are you a sys admin? Dev ops? Network engineer? Computer technician? I mean if you’re a sys admin or network engineer, okay you might know how to lock down your network pretty well, but what about a vpn? I mean sure if you’re actually monitoring all of your network traffic to verify there aren’t any suspiciously long open sessions then you can rule out a vpn.

My point is I guess that I don’t like when people say “I work in it” to mean that they know everything about computers, networks, systems, etc. I used to work in hardware sales and the amount of times I heard people say “I know what I’m doing. I’m an engineer” only to find out they were a software engineer was insane. I’m a software engineer now myself and my job has very little to do with hardware at all beyond considerations for architecture and such.

In another note I know someone who’s a security engineer who thinks that iMessage is not secure and sends everything in plain text (this is patently incorrect. Apple uses e2e encryption on their messages, and while iCloud syncing adds a whole host of vulnerabilities, the messaging service itself is quite secure). I guess my point is, I wouldn’t expect to know absolutely everything about everything computer related, because it’s a huge field with varying areas of expertise.

And if you think kids can’t get around “it professionals” then you weren’t a computer savvy kid in high school. You think there weren’t it professionals trying to keep us off Facebook and flash web sites? It didn’t stop us from using proxies and vpns to get around it. And I didn’t even know what a proxy was at the time. Never underestimate the ingenuity and inventiveness of someone who wants to do something they’ve been told they’re not allowed to do.

Being deaf does not make you immune to sound waves. Have you ever heard actual thunder and felt the walls around you shake? Or felt your bones vibrate? Sound travels in waves which cause vibrations. You don’t need to hear the noise to feel it.

The problem comes from places that don’t have a dedicated stocking team. Where I worked didnt, and out of stock signs didn’t mean anything because often something would be labeled out of stock when we had them. Sometimes the out of stock sign was directly below the product. A lot of that was because we made commission and people didn’t think they should be restocking for $4 an hour though.

That’s not always the case. I worked at Microcenter and the online inventory used the same system. As soon as something was purchased in store it was removed from the website. The only issue is customers don’t tend to appreciate that shrink exists. I can’t tell you how many times a high shrink item said we had one in stock in the website and someone would say “well the website says you have one in stock”. My response would always be something along the lines of “we haven’t done inventory in 4 months so sometimes things wind up missing and the inventory is off” because we weren’t allowed to tell customers that people steal things.

Edit: it was also a pain when the internet was down because our inventory and the website inventory worked on the sam system pulling data from our servers at home office. So if we didn’t have internet we couldn’t even check our own stock.

It’s definitely not unreasonable. I worked retail and we got that a lot with items that were small and said one in stock on the website. But I worked at a high shrink store. I would look in the back if I thought I had any hope of finding it. Sometimes I did. Often I did not. But keep in mind that somewhere around 80% of the time a staff member (at least where I worked) “checks in the back” they are actually going into the back to get a cup of coffee and play on their phone for a bit until they feel they can convince you that they looked.

Psych

F

Congrats on your sobriety op! I’m proud of you.

C