I like to purchase walnuts from the baking aisle. Big bag, no salt!

When he takes his glasses off, he can't see the number on the scale anymore.

Like the Lego Movie good cop/bad cop

Congratulations!

Robert Plant stabbed me to death with every inch of his his whole lotta love

Dorcas is also a type of gazelle

Just playing devil's advocate here: maybe your mother in law has seen the long term results of teenage pregnancy first hand and is very pleased with the outcome. Perhaps she wishes others would give teen parenting a shot like she did.

Korean fan death

Would A just be a segment of D? I was torn between those two answers cuz reading "practice and implement family planning" after the killing people idea made me think of like forced sterilization or eugenics or something.

I love how you said "just pure, 100% soulless manufactured crap." Nail on the head for so much popular stuff.

That's its mass, I wanna know how much it weighs

I sincerely hope that this is a short term path and is leading you to a more comfortable life

A wizard is never late, nor is he early; he arrives precisely when he means to.

Bea Arthur is a handsome woman

Check out SNL's "The Negotiator" skit on YouTube! I think you'll be able to identify somewhat lol

Plaid Granola

Pull a Ron Swanson and only marry Tammy

Popsicles have a stick, freezies or freeze pops are in a plastic tube-ish package

I'm bipolar and this note kinda reminds me of my mania. Mania is loads of fun when it's happening; it's the wreckage it leaves behind that is difficult to live with.

Reddit is an academic setting I guess

Do you find it difficult to plan ahead, like a week or two in advance? I think I would have trouble keeping those 4s and 5s straight.

I think this is the first positive thing I've ever read regarding employment with Amazon. Neat.