Ditch the school and play somewhere else.

My parents are dead... for now...?

Just show him this comments section and point out how we're all saying he's an idiot. And then still leave the game, because he's an idiot.

Nope, can't see it, sorry.

I suggest /r/wheelchairs

It's 12:30 in the morning and also I hate jogging.

I'd be willing to sell the movie rights. Hit me up, Hollywood producers.

Putting that on my resume

They saw my previous employer on my resume and were like "oh wow they made the thing we use!" I have never used the thing they use before in my life.

I deal with the god damn customers!

No but I do use some of those sometimes.

I wish. That guy is my hero.

I have a very niche skill set with a specific software made by a company I used to work for and was hired by a company that uses a completely different software that my previous employer also made. My days consist of one or two meetings where people complain about the software, I validate their feelings by agreeing with them, and they seem satisfied. I have no idea what I am doing and am waiting for the other shoe to drop.

You can see his dingle.

They should make these for the elderly and people with disabilities that make them at risk of falling.

But they also said they couldn't help themselves.

Yes :(

But then you find them incredibly unattractive.

Unfortunately they don't have a butt version. I checked.

Maybe all 3 got snapped?

A fork on the stump.

You spelled it wrong. So did I. /r/Kurzgesagt

Would it fit if you took off the cap?

Because Snape kills Dumbledore.