The could always just carry a pocket full of acorns.

I generally upvote everything in my feed, and I default to “everything”. It’s not you, it’s me.

No, see? It’s okay because it’s the truth. You’re allowed to break any law in America as long as it’s used to spread “the truth”.

Water isn’t wet, it gets other things wet. /s

Not evil enough. Can’t even get good heroin anymore.

They have these in Amsterdam. Each room comes with its own maid.

Every city should have a Sloth Parade. It’s only 1 block and takes 5 hours.

It’s really too bad I’m unable to update my firmware until I agree to let ASUS sell my data.

Elon Musk just got “paid” $46 billion worth of stock in Tesla.

He should have to pay income tax on the value of the stock on the day he “took possession” of it.

In 3 years, he says something on Twitter to pump the stock, and dumps a lot of it. He should have to pay tax (capital gains?) on the additional value of the stock that he sells.

If the value goes down and he sells it, it’s a deduction.

You’re already familiar with Kodi, so install that on your Android TV. I have an Nvidia Shield with Kodi, and it just plays movies straight from my server. You should be able to use the TV’s remote to control Kodi without worrying about the VPN.

“He is essential to the war effort!”

I can’t wait until holographic storage comes in spheres, and you have to bring it to an old Gypsy woman if you forget the encryption key.

$9.99, so you don’t have to click.

3 hands of blackjack.

The point was that Gazans are starving. Somebody has enough food. Who in Gaza currently has all the food?

Nope, not playing Card Wars with evil robot Jake.

He looks surprisingly well-fed.

Because the college would tell you the dorm rooms have twin mattresses in them. So everybody shows up with twin sized sheets.

You can actually get fitted twin sized sheets to fit a twin-xl mattress if you fold the mattress a little when you put on the sheet… When the mattress straightens out it compresses a little, and the sheets stretch a little. But you’ll also find the weak spots in your sheets very fast.

That fucker that invented the twin XL has earned the wrath of many college freshmen.

Is this going to turn my face into a wolf and make my eyes bulge 3 feet whenever I see a hot lady?