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Cake day: July 13th, 2023

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  • I did. They reported $31.5 Billion in revenue for 2023.

    Im not finding any concrete report on their expenses, but I did find some best guesses as speculated by users. This reddit thread from 7 years ago, is estimating about $2 billion in expenses.

    Let’s assume that since this was 7 years ago things have gotten drastically more expensive for YouTube, and throw an additional buffer on top of that since we can’t be 100% sure. Let’s pentuple their proposed operating costs, and, hell, let’s also be VERY generous and say that they keep a work force of 5,000 people who each make… Let’s say $120,000/yr?

    That would come out to about $10.6 billion/yr in business expenses. Even if you factor in the payments to top earning YouTubers, those only measure in the 10s of millions… Okay… Let’s be reeeeal generous to YouTube here and assume that this guy from r/theydidthemath 7 years ago was WAY off. Let’s assume he was off by half of YouTubers actual expenses. Following our (absolutely ludicrous) estimates of their expenses going up by a factor of 5 and their 5,000 employees averaging out to $120,000/yr salaries; YouTube would still be reporting under $21 billion a year in expenses. That means they are net profit $10 billion a year even with the insanely expensive operating costs we assigned them here.

    $10 billion. Let me put that into perspective. 10 million seconds is about 115 days. So 10 million seconds in the past was just about the new Year. 10 billion seconds however was 317 years ago.

    This idea that YouTube isn’t profitable is equal parts ridiculous and hilarious. I just sat here for 15 minutes waxing accountant at you, but none of that was even necessary. YouTube is a business (technically it’s Google but you get the point), if it wasn’t profitable, it wouldn’t exist. Period.





  • I originally had it downvoted, but you’re right, they aren’t being directly disrespectful. Besides, saying it was a touching love story first and foremost is evidence enough that OP isn’t an asshole, just a human with human opinions. I apologize, and have rescinded my previous judgement.

    That being said… Getting the “heebie jeebies” from watching 2 dudes kiss is a red flag that OP has some deep rooted homophobic views/tendencies, which is absolutely something they need to address in their own time. Maybe not here, on the internet, in front of several thousand schmucks making dick jokes; but if that’s how it has to be in order to bring OPs attention to it, then so be it.

    I’m all for having your own opinions, but if a same sex couple being romantic grosses you out while a heterosexual couple doesn’t, that feels like something you should do some soul searching over lol. OP might be a great person irl, but I do think it’s important to recognize your own shortcomings and address them where possible. God knows we all have enough of em


  • You can get away from snakes with a brisk walk, and they would never challenge you unless cornered … Also, you can fight a snake with a stick …

    Black mambas move at like 15mph (much faster than you or I) and are absolutely capable of killing a fully grown human if they feel threatened. Fighting them off with a stick is a great way to get a one way ticket to ground town lol.

    My point was that the risk of accidentally meandering into one’s nest is enormous. I guess the answer is just stay in large open areas, but I was thinking more like a post apocalyptic “look for food and survive” kinda angle.

    But yeah, I 100% agree that the Silverback is the more dangerous option here by a huge margin. I just think given a situation where you could avoid it long enough to find a hiding place it can’t get into (like a restaurants freezer). I’d rather the hulking gorilla that I can hide from over the deadly snake that might have made it’s home in my rudimentary shelter.


  • I mean if we’re gonna take this goofy post at face value and get addmitedly WAY too into the breakdown…

    The context of if they are agitated or otherwise hostile for some external reason is actually kinda critically important here lol.

    In a situation where they are just passively existing and you need to choose which species to just co-habitate with I’m choosing the monkey FOR SURE.

    • Any snake is going to be hard to spot, an ambush predator, specifically one (or 5!) as deadly and teritorial as a black mamba, is going to be nigh impossible to keep track of, sneaking around and catching prey off-guard is literally their whole thing. On top of that, while gorilla’s vary greatly in personality (just like humans) odds are decent that if you just leave them alone they will leave you alone.

    • Hell, maybe if you manage to find some fruit you might even be able to AT A GREAT DISTANCE establish some sort of basic report with the Silverback. Like, don’t pet the guy, but if they know you don’t have hostile intentions and occasionally provide snacks they probably will keep their “territory” reasonably small, letting you scavenge more areas.

    But if the script is flipped and we are in a full blown survival setting? Where for one reason or another the animal(s) has our number from the moment we step foot in the mall? You are fucking insane if you choose the Silverback Gorilla.

    • Those things are ludicrously fast, Huge, have great senses, and will literally rip you in half. You would be dead within minutes of entering the mall no matter how far away that gorilla starts from you.

    • Snakes you can at the very least survive longer, if not outright just escape them and hide somewhere relatively hermeticly sealed. Maybe find a cabinet you can squeeze into and close the doors to let oxygen in but too small for snakes, maybe find a tall shelf or rafter and collapse the furniture used to climb on your way up to prevent the snakes climbing it as well.

    • A Silverback gorilla however is not only far faster both climbing and on land, but has enormous fucking gorilla arms to rip away any sort of door or cover you try to use to hide.

    If we’re being generous and assuming this is taking place in the largest mall in the USA, The Mall of America, and the gorilla starts on the opposite side of the mall from where you enter. It would need to clear roughly 1 mile (assuming the 1 mile-ish exterior wall of the mall is circular (it’s not but just humor me), in order to get to you. A silverback gorilla’s top land speed is roughly 25mph, that means 2200 feet per minute, that means you have just over 2 minutes to get into a meat freezer or something equally tough before it catches you. So you not only need to know where one is, but it needs to be close enough to get to in such a short time. Hell no, I’m taking the snakes.

    Anyway thanks for coming to my Ted Talk





  • I guess I just went to a really chill college?

    All 4 years of my undergrad my best friend and roommate was a trans woman, we regularly hosted parties where most attendees were members (or even e-board members of) the pride club, i have severe ADHD and many of my closest friends are varying flavors of autistic. As a matter of fact I am still to this day part of a weekly DnD campaign with several of those dick heads.

    All that is to say I have a pretty good idea what my college’s culture was like for LGBT and neuro divergent people. Probably the most common point of conversation whenever high-school came up was that college was so so so much better about bullying.

    I think the only person i know of who got bullied by any stretch of the imagination, was one guy that people just actively avoided because he fucking sucked. Like real piece of shit energy radiating from this guy, and he smelled like 4 year old bottled up farts.







  • Okay but forcing someone to pay you $550k (averaging your values) to not die maybe is still incredibly fucking awful, so it’s really not hard to be better than that.

    I can respect that developing a personalized vaccine might take a lot of work but I’m not a chemist. I don’t know how much work it actually takes, nor do I know how many vaccines a person would realistically need to cure their cancer be it stage 1 up to stage 4?

    What I do know is that if this vaccine ends up being more effective than the traditional method then it is a wonderful discovery, but if it leads to life-long medical debt and subsequent financial ruin all the same your life is still fucked… I guess I’d rather be poor and alive, but I’d also rather not be destitute.


  • A lot of the old “Golden Age” League of Legends content creators have moved on to making really good content about other topics and games. Basically Dunkey and everyone who was at one point accused of being a Dunkey clone lol

    Dunkey obviously still makes content and it’s still good. I’ve never personally been a huge fan of the short length goofy one off gag style of his but I know people still really like his content.

    Skooch does miscellaneous other games now (mostly Mario and sonic lately) but the content is the best it’s ever been

    Bricky does Warhammer mostly but also makes long form analyses of big AAA titles that are sequels to franchises from the 360 days

    Keyori (now Barny/Maddy) rebranded, transitioned, and now makes literally the best World of Warcraft content I’ve ever seen

    FrostPrime streams I know but I think his YouTube is literally exclusively just stream VODs now.

    Outside of that group I still get a kick out of Game Grumps 10 years later but I know the old school let’s play thing isn’t really for everyone. Also Alpharad still makes good content, though lately it’s been a lot of mid, sponsored or otherwise kinda forced out stuff.