Also missing: pure random-roll character who makes no sense and contributes nothing other than needing to be rescued a lot.

Any decent teacher will do 1 and 0 at the very beginning. It takes, like, 10 minutes and puts the tables into context.

… and then you’ll be boiled. For breakfast.

Step 1. Descend to sea level.
Step 2. Cook eggs.

Glad some good came of it, even it’s over 20 years later!

The 0 times table would like a word.

Fuck off. No English plate has seen bacon and eggs that grim.

Robot’s all, like, “Come at me bro, fuckin’ come at me!”

Never seen a robot more in need of some weed.

You should have a word with yourself!

I can imagine.

“Hey, Lembot_0002, I got you something!”
“What, for me? Thanks, Lembot_0002!”
“Oh, this is amazing, Lembot_0002, I’ve always wanted one!”
“You’re welcome, Lembot_0002.”
“Love you!”
“Love you, too!”

I’d do the same.

ShittingBiscuits.ptsd

Sonny, we wrote it Vi back in the day. Capital V, lower case i. Now get off my lawn! Isn’t it cold? Policemen look younger and younger every year.

You might want to check whether you’ve asked people about sandy arid expanses or puddings in your post title!

I don’t often have dessert 'cos I have no real sweet tooth so…

No one particular favourite.

Last night it was a nice kielbasa sausage. The night before that it was some very ripe Cambozola with some Carrs table water biscuits. The night before that it was a toasted ham and tomato sandwich. And the night before that was a cocktail of various breakfast cereals with milk and a drizzle of maple syrup.

Not me, but about 4.5 hours including half a day of induction. The company I worked for did a lot of crunching data in Excel and producing reports based on that data. This girl started, did her half day induction (“fire escapes are here”, etc, etc) then was assigned to me to work on a project. I sat down with her for about an hour and a half and talked her through the easiest part of the project that I wanted her to work on. She nodded, said she understood, then asked what the process for quitting was.

I’ve no idea how she got hired because she said she had been expecting the job to be mostly creative, not working with data, and that it didn’t interest her at all.

Late to this party, but it’s a three-fer…

I was on the tube (London subway) heading across London to catch a train to meet up with some friends.

I was a bit distracted so only noticed we were at the stop I needed to get off at after we’d been there for 30 or so seconds and the warning beeps had started.

#1. I darted for the doors which closed when just my head was through.

#2. The driver admonished me over the intercom: “Can the idiot with his head in the door pull it back so we can proceed.”

#3. (Delayed). The tube is fucking filthy. As were the doors. Which had left black marks down the sides of my head and neck which I didn’t discover until three hours later when I finally reached my destination and my friends told me.

Monk was passing through. Some villagers saw him pissing on a statue of Buddha so they grabbed their pitchforks and went to pitchfork him. “Show me where Buddha is not, and I shall piss there.” said the monk.

Strong and milky, like my women.

There was a lot of good stuff on the telly back in the Quaternary Period.